| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Elite Level Hydration
00:09:02
|
|
| It was at this moment that he knew. | |
| He fucked up. | |
| What's up, everything? | |
| What's up, everything? | |
| Take off my jacket, man. | |
| I'm sorry, I'm sorry. | |
| I'm sorry. | |
| The big ones. | |
| Yes, 20 to zero bottles of sparkling water. | |
| Elite level hydration. | |
| Sorry? Yes, the big bottles, 20 to zero of them. | |
| Cold. Yes, the large sparkling waters and cold please. | |
| And ice, please. And lemons. | |
| And yes, that's all. | |
| Yes. Sounds perfect. | |
| Thank you very much. So... | |
| I didn't do this to us. | |
| I wanted the ribeyes. | |
| I wanted one ribeye. | |
| We need elite level hydration. | |
| This doesn't make sense. | |
| Look... What is the number one thing humans need to stay alive? | |
| Tristan says we're not drinking enough. | |
| We're not having enough fun. | |
| So they are going to drink all day. | |
| All day. 20? | |
| 20? Is that 20 liters? | |
| How much are these bottles? I think nearly a half. | |
| 30 liters. Nice. | |
| So 10 liters each of water. | |
| To start. As a start. | |
| What do you mean as a start? | |
| We're drinking all day long. | |
| You can't go outside because the peasants are waiting for us. | |
| We're sitting here drinking all along. | |
| Someone would say, hey, what do you do when you're worth a hundred million dollars? | |
| Water contest. Elite level hydration. | |
| You also bought the course. | |
| Course bought. Perfect. | |
| Now I need you to have the secrets to elite level hydration. | |
| The loop does. | |
| ...the only way to achieve elite level high-grade... | |
| Tristan! That can't be in the course! | |
| Is that a part? This can't be a part. | |
| This must be part eight. Elite level. | |
| This actually might be elite level. | |
| This might be truly elite. | |
| I'll drink more water than both people. | |
| You won't. No, you won't. | |
| You won't. | |
| We'll see. Nah, I'm just gonna edit out every single time he drinks water. | |
| Teach him a lesson. Could be. | |
| Take confidential. Wouldn't know if I did or did not do that. | |
| Maybe I cut this out too. | |
| So Triss is going the barbarian tactic. | |
| I don't think I can do Barbarian. | |
| Why have you made it bubbly? Made it super hard. | |
| Yeah, it's like all bubbles. If he's doing the Barbarian tactic. | |
| But I believe civilization will defeat the Barbarians if I just always drink it out of a nice glass. | |
| You guys will drink it out of a bottle. | |
| If I just drink it always out of a glass. | |
| There's no way you're beating me. Nice and refreshing. | |
| And I'm just going to make sure this never, ever is emptied. | |
| Like the infinite glass. | |
| Isn't there a legend about some infinite glass that never runs out? | |
| He can't defeat me. What is boozing, Dave? | |
| Tristan can drink liquids so fast. | |
| He can! Your tactics are poor. | |
| See why I did that? That is his tactic. | |
| This is gonna work. There's a reason cups were invented. | |
| Why would cups be invented if this is not the most ideal way to hydrate? | |
| He's using poor tactics. You're gonna have to have one sip. | |
| On my second bottle. You're gonna talk to me. | |
| My mind. My mind's made of water. | |
| My brain was a dry sponge and it's now expanding. | |
| I can now see in 4D. I've been swimming inside of myself. | |
| These aren't real. I didn't have enough blood. | |
| And all I can do is force myself to make water. | |
| This is seriously down one. He did, didn't he? | |
| It amazes me. | |
| This is pure carbonated sparkling water. | |
| The bubbles do hurt. | |
| They do. I feel like it's not beer or body. | |
| One down. 50 each, yeah? | |
| Yeah. Nice. | |
| I'm making progress. I don't know how much because I don't even want to know. | |
| I'm just going to keep pouring. You've drunk half of us. | |
| Luke, you're nowhere near anymore. | |
| I'm getting close. Look, it's almost done. | |
| And mine's been nice and pleasant. | |
| You guys look horrible. | |
| It's not almost done. It's all in the glass. | |
| So that's how you think it works, do you? | |
| See, now I just have to drink my nice one little glass of water and continue on. | |
| Nice pleasant. We're rich. | |
| Why do we do this? Hydration. | |
| Poor people actually couldn't do this. | |
| This is a rich person only activity. | |
| Yeah, probably. So the water has been given up on. | |
| Not really. What do you mean not really? | |
| You're just eating things now. Watermelon. | |
| Exactly. I'm just eating instead of drinking. | |
| It's beating up the process. I'm doing both. | |
| Luke. Where's my glass? | |
| You're on the same fucking glass! | |
| Never ending. You're an embarrassment to this one. | |
| For all you know, I'm down 20 giant bottles. | |
| But it's all just gone through this glass. | |
| Run for it. I ate them in. | |
| Luke, I'd like you to know. | |
| If you're on fire and all it would take is my piss to extinguish you, I would still take a long walk in the cold in the middle of the night to the toilet and piss in the toilet. | |
| I would need to know something. If you caught on fire right here right now, I would drink each and every one of these bottles. | |
| Each and every one. | |
| I would drink all of them. | |
| Slowly. This is your lesson about dedication to the cause. | |
| What are we doing? Yeah! | |
| Watermelon mess! | |
| You guys keep calling me globetard, so it seems like it. | |
| The earth is flat, Luke. I thought all the flat earth paintings. | |
| Yeah, so, okay. | |
| I mean, it's not flat. | |
| You're a globetard. | |
| You're a globetard. You think this isn't flat? | |
| It's not. It's the world round. | |
| Yes, it's a globe. | |
| Globetard. Alright, so how's it flat then? | |
| Prove to me it's flat. Look outside. | |
| I see the curve. | |
| He does these shit. I do. | |
| I see the curve. Tell them more proof that it looks flat. | |
| More proof. Did you know that not once in the history of space travel ever has any astronaut panned his camera around 360 degrees? | |
| Not once. Why don't they? | |
| What do you mean? Studios. | |
| Studios, yeah. Images, yeah. | |
| You're a globetard. Your name should be Luke the Duke. | |
| When I said your name is Leek. | |
| The Geek. Let me start calling him Lurrd. | |
| Lork. Lork! | |
| Lork the Globetar. | |
| This is stupid. I'm not a Globetar. | |
| You're a spacesuit. You can go up there and see it's flat. | |
| But you ain't fucking gone. It's not flat. | |
| That's why you're Lork the Globetar. | |
| So is space fake? Is there even space? | |
| Space is fake. You're Lork. | |
| Space is CGI. So it's a dome? | |
| Space is CGI. Yeah, it's a solid dome. | |
| I'm gonna drink so much warmer than that. | |
| There's not much. I'll drink all the water on the earth. | |
| Then what? Then you could be thirsty. | |
| What kind of name is Lork? | |
| That's not my name. But why is he Lork? | |
| It's not my name. Can everyone who wants to take confidential, please spam Lork's inbox calling him Lork. | |
| I don't have an inbox. Yeah, he does on Instagram. | |
| It's real lucky Lork. Tristan got slowed down by the bomb. | |
| They got you, Tristan. Ah, so you touched kids. | |
| Literally saw it. Caught red-handed. | |
|
Emergency Ya 4x4
00:10:52
|
|
| Did you touch that kid? | |
| Can we order bodies to the room? | |
| Yes or no. Tristan, admit what happened. | |
| We should go to the club. I'm just saying we should. | |
| I want to get clear. | |
| I don't want to, but I feel morally obligated. | |
| I super don't want to. You know, I was saying this to you the other day, and I was saying, why does a salmon swim on the river? | |
| It just feels like it happens to you. | |
| Why does this fan not like it? | |
| I don't know. | |
| Everybody put your hands up in the air. | |
| Come on, let me see your hands. | |
| Everybody put your hands up in the air. | |
| These men are sitting on a Bugatti Chiron Pure Sport that doesn't belong to them. | |
| Unfortunately one of the owners is European Kickboxing Champion, Tristan Tate. | |
| It was at this moment that he knew. | |
| Keep fucked up. | |
| X gon' give it to ya, he gon' give it to ya, X gon' give it to ya. | |
| This kid is dangerous! | |
| I don't think a Bugatti's ever traveled on roads like this. | |
| It's a 4x4. Andrew, this isn't a 4x4. | |
| It is four-wheel drive. I'm not even sure it can go over that bridge. | |
| We have to go to the camping because we get to realign our shocker, so it's just a 4x4. | |
| This isn't a 4x4. | |
| It's going to happen to the bridge. Is it going to collapse? | |
| Yeah, it might. And then we'll have to buy a new car. | |
| No, this is like, what, 6 million euro? | |
| No, but you can't... | |
| It's not that easy. | |
| It's like... | |
| It's all rocks and stuff. | |
| Is it going to collapse? | |
| It's going to be okay. | |
| Thank you for watching! Please subscribe! | |
| Bro, there's holes. | |
| It's level. | |
| No one has ever, ever, ever driven a Bugatti here. | |
| Ever. Who do you mean? | |
| Never. Never in a million years. | |
| This isn't a 4x4. It is. | |
| We're in like the mountain villages. | |
| Yeah? You don't bring Bugattis out in the mountain villages. | |
| Why? Because even look at the mountain man looking at you being like, why does he... | |
| They're asking why. | |
| They're asking themselves why. | |
| Who does this? He has so much money. | |
| Can't afford another car. It's all about me. | |
| Look at Mountain Woman. | |
| She literally is wondering, who is this man? | |
| That woman wants me. She does. | |
| She probably does, to be honest. | |
| She's curious about him. She's super curious. | |
| I'd be super curious. I'm the big G. I'm the big G. And there's the Mountain Man. | |
| Fuck him. I'll race him right now. | |
| Come on, B. Okay, he would beat the mountain man in a race, I admit. | |
| How about the road gets? | |
| This is always the best off-road vehicle. | |
| Look, just because it costs all that money doesn't mean I'm going to be like, oh, we can't go driving on terrible terrain, that's going to ruin it. | |
| I'm all fucking gay. | |
| That would be gay, wouldn't it? | |
| So gay. But I definitely don't think the guy envisioned this when they were crafting the car. | |
| Probably didn't envision to be smoking in it either. | |
| Or fucking driving it drunk, full of girls. | |
| Probably envisaged loads of shit that ain't gonna happen. | |
| Listen, I don't adhere to the rules of the matrix. | |
| I do things differently. | |
| This is very different. | |
| I will admit that this is very different. | |
| Ice going into the mountains. | |
| Yeah, I'm racing. A mountain race with a mountain man. | |
| This is nice. | |
| They have internet. | |
| We're realigning our shop. There is no more internet, no more webverse. | |
| No, there is. | |
| We're here to live with the nature. We're going to live with the land. | |
| We're going to stop living on the internet and booze in all the time. | |
| We're going to do things for our hearts and souls. | |
| So, phones in the grass. | |
| Thanks for watching! | |
| That looks absolutely super uncomfortable. | |
| Like, look at your spine. | |
| It's like in a sea. | |
| It's not supposed to do that. | |
| My spine's made of liquid mercury. | |
| What does that mean? Does that just mean it's super dense? | |
| Have you ever seen the Terminator? Okay, so you're the Terminator. | |
| It flows out of the liquid state. | |
| This looks extremely uncomfortable. | |
| Are you comfortable? | |
| My spine is made of solid rubber. | |
| I thought you said it was liquid mercury. | |
| This is the most uncomfortable chair ever. | |
| It is, isn't it? So why are we here again? | |
| Because I'm just a dork. We're here to be one with nature. | |
| Guys, look at this. Your chakras. | |
| Shut the fuck up. Tristan, all... | |
| I've got my chakras right here. | |
| Exactly. Tristan, don't you understand? | |
| We were in the club. We beat some people up. | |
| We punched them in the face. We need to realign our chakras with the nature and the universe. | |
| Are we putting that into a confidential? Yes. | |
| Okay, fine. We beat some people up. | |
| After we're in the club and boozing hard with a bunch of fucking whores and big tits. | |
| And now we need to go back to base and realign with the source. | |
| That is my fucking base. | |
| What do you mean that's your base? Well, beating the shit out of people after hanging around a bunch of girls with big fake tits is not your fucking spiritual base. | |
| It's been my entire life. | |
| But... It's what I know and do best. | |
| It's my natural state of existence. | |
| That is the worst spiritual base ever. | |
| Can't be a spiritual base. | |
| It's not very spiritual. I'm not fucking happy. | |
| Can't you just enjoy the fucking nature? | |
| Yeah, look at the clouds. Let's count them. | |
| You're gonna be cold. Tristan, you're also going to be cold. | |
| You're both going to be cold. Because it's getting colder and colder. | |
| Sun's going down. Even I've got sweats and... | |
| There's no... | |
| There's no way a tricycle will heat you up in a way that you make unlimited heat. | |
| But the tricycle won't help. | |
| It's got four wheels, mate. | |
| Bicycle training wheels, dickhead. | |
| Okay. I don't actually know whether it's called a tricycle or not. | |
| A tricycle is three wheels. That is clearly a bicycle with training wheels. | |
| Isn't that the same thing? | |
| No. Can you admit you're a monumental failure and there's not a vehicle on earth I can't drive? | |
| Is she wrong? I might have to admit that. | |
| Or this. I might have to admit that. | |
| Emergency meeting! What do you mean there's an emergency? | |
| You can't tricycle to the emergency. | |
| It's not even an effective... | |
| I can tell that that's way more effort than walking. | |
| Well, Andy's just gliding here. | |
| I'm walking with my big heavy legs. | |
| Andy's just gliding at all. That's not gliding at all. | |
| I see the effort. He's slowing down so you can keep up. | |
| No. I'm just walking at a normal pace. | |
| I'm not even walking fast. Now he's trying to catch up. | |
| He's trying to speed it up. | |
| Well, firstly, I can't get a lap. It's off the hill now. | |
| I can't get a lap. I can't get a lap. | |
| So tricycles are an ineffective boat of transportation. | |
| That's a tricycle and we all know it. | |
| Emergency meeting. Where? It's not an emergency. | |
| Here. The ba- the- the goat. | |
| Is that the emergency meeting alarm? | |
| That we have a new one? Yeah, the goat. | |
| That's emergency meeting. So until we sit down, it won't- we won't get anything. | |
| The emergency meeting is sitting on the balcony of that cabin. | |
| I don't know what we're talking about. It is, isn't it? | |
| That one. But it's clearly there. | |
| The goats calling us. The two goats. | |
| The emergency goats. | |
| They look like dumbasses as well. | |
| I'll take out the fucking game, goat. | |
| I actually think goats want beef. | |
| I actually think he really wants it. | |
| The goat wants beef, doesn't he? | |
| But doesn't he realize that his neck being in that position is such a... | |
| Imagine axe kick down. | |
| Or up. A soccer kick up. | |
| He wouldn't. Hey, he heard ya. Look at my tactics here, dude. | |
| Alright, come on. Thank you, Brent. | |
| Thank you for the fun. Thank you for the fun. | |
| Thank you. Thank you. | |