| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
What's the Time?
00:12:49
|
|
| Cobra killed the python. I walked in there and I was like, I like that junkie. | |
| What is it? She's like, python. She goes, it's the only one we've ever made. | |
| How much before she told me the price I'll Go I I | |
| Oh, would you look at the time, Luke? | |
| Thank you for watching! | |
| Okay. It is super nice. | |
| I'll admit, super nice. Luke, if you were blind and you had to know the time, what would you do? | |
| What's the time? Correct. | |
| And I would say... | |
| Diamond time. | |
| Luke, if you were blind... | |
| Okay....and you had to tell someone you were hungry, what would you do? | |
| That? That's what I do. | |
| Do you know what I'd do if I was blind and I felt something I was hungry? | |
| What? I'd say, hey, I'm hungry. | |
| Okay, you got me. | |
| I got soup for God. | |
| I admit it. Luke, if you were blind and you had to know the time, what would you do? | |
| What's the time? Correct. | |
| And I would say... | |
| Diamond time. | |
| You need me, and you need me to have this watch, Luke. | |
| The day you go blind, you'll be very thankful I have this diamond watch. | |
| Can you admit that? Otherwise, you'll never know what time it is ever again. | |
| No, but even if you just had your phone, I'd just ask you. | |
| Phone. Shmoan! | |
| You don't need more watches. | |
| I think... I knew I didn't have enough diamonds. | |
| Now I have this. I feel like I have enough diamonds for a while. | |
| You do. You do. | |
| I agree. I feel like I have enough diamonds. | |
| Probably for life. Life. | |
| Or close, yeah. I was thinking more... | |
| 24 to 48 hours. | |
| What? No. | |
| I think I've got enough diamonds for like 48 hours. | |
| But after two days, it's going to be a bit like, okay. | |
| You know? No, no, I don't know. | |
| No, no one needs... | |
| No, that's enough diamonds for a lifetime. | |
| I'm glad you agree. I'm glad you agree. Where are we? | |
| Did you ask the time? No, I asked where are we. | |
| Oh, Pagani. What do you mean Pagani? | |
| Well, we don't have to Pagani yet, but, so I thought, don't really need a Pagani house. | |
| Sorry. Wait, a Pagani? | |
| Yeah. What do you mean? That's what I mean. | |
| So I thought, we don't have to Pagani yet, don't really need a Pagani car, and maybe I should get Pagani house. | |
| What? A Pagani apartment. | |
| So I'm with the big G. We gotta look at the Bugatti Vanhap. | |
| So I'm with the boss. | |
| Most exclusive project in Dubai. | |
| Most exclusive project in Dubai. | |
| What do you want? What the fuck else would we be doing? | |
| So it's not finished because you get to decide exactly what we want. | |
| We've got our main man here, security, keeping us safe. | |
| The big G. So basically what I'm thinking is, what do you mean? | |
| What are you doing? What is this? | |
| It's like the most prestigious building. | |
| It's going to be the most prestigious penthouse one of one in Dubai. | |
| Because we have the Bugatti, so I decided I didn't need a Pagani, but I need something Pagani. | |
| So I'm going to have a Pagani penthouse in Dubai, which costs much more than a Pagani car. | |
| Like I know right now you're looking at it going, what is this? | |
| But when it's done with Pagani furniture, imagine, couch, hoax. | |
| Okay. Couch. | |
| Hose. Okay. | |
| Little pool. Indoor war. | |
| Hose. A chair. | |
| Hose. Okay. Hose on the floor. | |
| Next, just on the floor. Floor hoe. | |
| Floor hoe. Floor hoe. Floor hoe? | |
| Floor hoe. We've got hooks from the ceiling, and hoes can attach themselves by harnesses and just hang them. | |
| Sky hose. Sky hose! | |
| Okay. Okay. | |
| Bam! Okay, so core two. | |
| Then we go to the globe. | |
| What do you mean the globe? See what I'm saying? | |
| What is this? | |
| I'm going to say, look, make my globe cool. | |
| It's got to have all lights and shit. | |
| The globe. Globe hose. | |
| Globe hose. Globe hose. | |
| We can make it like a world and we can start like from South America to all the way around to Russia to the Chinese region. | |
| Okay! Yeah, the Globe House! | |
| It is Trump change, isn't it? | |
| Shit! Shit! | |
| It is, isn't it? That's it? | |
| Okay. We get to sit with Mr. | |
| Pagani himself and design it. | |
| You know what's crazy? I'll buy this and any other YouTube channel would make a very in-depth, proper camera documentary on buying it and how they expect it out and all the leather. | |
| It's going to be me and you on an iPhone talking shit in this penthouse, putting in no effort, no editorial fucking energy. | |
| Zero. And we wonder why our YouTube channel doesn't work. | |
| No, but ours will have Globos. Everyone else would be like, oh, that's a five-hour story, but I've decided to buy the... | |
| They also wouldn't have even thought about Globos. | |
| They would have not thought about Globos. | |
| Would have even crossed their mind. | |
| Couch? Couch hoes? | |
| Okay. Okay. | |
| Room hose. | |
| Yeah, I know. | |
| Man, in the sky hose coming from the top? | |
| Shit. In my previous life, I did have to once defend myself against 1,000 members of the ninja shogunai, unarmed. | |
| So I'm kind of used to this. | |
| Like, I was walking through the fields of ancient Tibet, and the ninja shogunai attacked me. | |
| And I had Aikido, all their fucking samurai swords. | |
| Ah, then this would be easy. What? | |
| It'd be easy. Is the hell's good? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Woo! | |
| Cheers! | |
| Back to the wrong... | |
| Back to the sky! | |
| Back to the sky, bitch! | |
| Alright, do my line. | |
| Man, I mean, all the hoes. | |
| Globe hoes, sky hoes, couch hoes, I can envision it now! | |
| It would, wouldn't it? It literally would. | |
| Yeah. I know. | |
| No, I could just film. | |
| iPhone only. Okay, so it's Sopagani, but where are we now? | |
| Where were we in London, Luke? | |
| The Dorchester? The Dorchester. | |
| Dorchester has apartments. | |
| Dorchester collections here in Dubai. | |
| You liked the hotel, didn't you? | |
| It was a good hotel. There you go. | |
| See, look at our beach. We can moor our yacht down there. | |
| Private beach, private water, private pool, cabanas. | |
| No one's gonna fuck with us. No peasants, no peons, no poor people. | |
| No poor people, huh? Yeah, people who are like, oh, good job. | |
| Job. People who are not in Hustlers University because they love to work hard, like idiots. | |
| Yeah, they're weird. People who don't want easy free money from the fucking sky. | |
| Those people stay away from us. | |
| We stay here with the chill. We chill with the farm. | |
| I think we have an appointment coming up anytime soon. | |
| You're not checking your watch for that. | |
| I am. You're not. Why am I checking my watch? | |
| You're checking it to have it shine in the sun and bleed. | |
| I'm checking the time, my friend. This is very nice. | |
| This is very, very nice. Pull up, valet. | |
| Pull up, Lambo. | |
| Boom, boom. Take our curse. Give them to the staff. | |
| March upstairs to the whoopies. | |
| Oh, there'll be whoopies. Ah, of course there'll be whoopies. | |
| You saw the wrangle we pulled off in Romania. | |
| I know. Imagine we just divide the level of wrangle. | |
| The level of every girlfriend to the penthouse party. | |
| It would blow off the internet. | |
| And that wrangle was in the cave. | |
| That was in a shitty little house next to our main house. | |
| Yeah. On three hours notice. | |
| We didn't even try. Literally name the cave. | |
| Literally. We call it the cave. The depression cave. | |
| This private beach I like. | |
| No, this is very, very nice. | |
| And then you've got like a proper pool. | |
| But if you want to pretend you're like in the ocean, you can go. | |
| But it's like calm, perfect, no people. | |
| But you know we have like an Instagram picture on the beach and there's like humans. | |
| Yeah. Other humans. | |
| What the fuck are you doing here? | |
| Yeah, they're poor. Yeah. | |
| I'm starting to get it. | |
| I'm starting to get it. As I hang around, I'm starting to get it. | |
| That's right. I was poor, but I escaped. | |
| So now when I see the people who didn't escape, I'm like, why didn't you escape? | |
| I escaped. So it's like, well, duh. | |
| The gate was wide open to the zoo. | |
| Why did you stay there? | |
| So I'm walking outside the cage, looking at them in the cage, going, the door's still open, G. It's still there. | |
| It's still easy to get rich. | |
| You just walk. Just walk. | |
| Oh, walking's hard. | |
| I'm tired. Maybe it's a scam. | |
| Maybe the door open is a scam. | |
| Join Hoskins University to teach you how to make money online. | |
| Maybe it's a scam. | |
| Listen, if you're going to tell the open door is a scam, then you can stay in your case. | |
| I don't want you here on my private beach at my Dorchester penthouse. | |
| Not allowed. Not allowed. | |
| So, this is the indoor pool. | |
| Ok. Just like the door jester. | |
| Wake up in the morning. Check the bank. | |
| Then come in. Bank too full. | |
| Too full. At capacity. | |
| Getting almost two. Emergency meeting. | |
| You need to spend the money. Boom. | |
| Okay. Then pull. | |
| Nice. I can. It is very nice in here. | |
| It's nice and warm. J Confidential can't feel it. | |
| It's nice and warm and spa-y. | |
| It's very relaxing. | |
| Well, after the club, I'm going to go to the club and I'm going to get some coke. | |
| Let's go see. | |
| It's a coho star. | |
| No, it's not. | |
| Not my pool Alright so far you enjoyed it I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. | |
| We found it on the 5 star hotel. | |
| You can get a massage or just chill. Yeah. | |
| Yeah. Just chill in the pool. | |
| I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. | |
| In the chat, there is a man sitting in a room over here, changing room. | |
| I don't have to change room this time. | |
| You need to see, because there is a jacuzzi over there. | |
| Ah, okay. I forgot. | |
| It's a very normal change. | |
| Of course, what do you think? | |
| This is special. Please, enter. | |
| Only the... Okay. Okay. They're convincing me. | |
| It's crazy. | |
| It's very unbelievable. | |
| It's also since the draw that an incident You wouldn't leave would you Oh, oh, oh. | |
| Man, it's just like the door chest. | |
|
Quite Nice
00:03:03
|
|
| I swear it even smells the same. | |
| I think they use the same incense. | |
| This is quite nice. | |
| Sniper rifle, telescope. | |
| Yep, okay. The essentials. | |
| This is extremely nice. | |
| It's quite nice, isn't it? | |
| It is quite nice. This is quite nice. | |
| Take Confidential Viewers, this is quite nice. | |
| We don't live anywhere. | |
| Yeah, we don't live anywhere. | |
| They could vote. | |
| Yeah. What are we doing? | |
| What dance is that? Tristan's dance. | |
| We're at Tristan's. I don't know where Tristan is. | |
| You know what this is? This is Python. | |
| I'm a G. That is G. It's Python. | |
| Cobra killed the Python. I walked in there and I was like, I like that jacket. | |
| What is it? She's like, Python. She goes, it's the only one we've ever made. | |
| But how much is it? Before she told me the price is set, I'll... | |
| She thinks I'm going to fucking cry over $19,000. | |
| What do I want to throw? So it's a $19,000 jacket. | |
| Only... What do you mean, only? | |
| What was that fucking stone you told me? | |
| Ruby? No, not ruby, not sapphire, the other one. | |
| Emerald. What do you mean you need emeralds? | |
| Have you ever done an upgrade, Luke? | |
| I've not done an upgrade. Mid-date. | |
| Well, you know, the thing is, I have. | |
| I've done the switcheroo. | |
| And it sometimes was an upgrade. | |
| The genuine switcheroo. | |
| Have you ever done the download? Oh boy. | |
| That's not a move. You think you're pulling a mid-date switcheroo. | |
| Well maybe I'm doing a downgrade. | |
| You might be. I might be doing that. | |
| Let's hope I'm not doing a downgrade. | |
| So that would get you. That would get me. | |
| You super deserve that. I got. So we'll see. | |
| We'll see how we go. What are we doing? | |
| The upgrade has been pulled. | |
| He's trying the upgrade. We're doing the mid-date switcheroo. | |
| The mid-date switcheroo. | |
| He's super fucked. Here's your jacket and your phone. | |
| Thanks, homeboy. So he's the drunken cowboy. | |
| Yee-haw! The drunken cowboy. | |
| Drunken cowboy. Ain't nothing but vodka in this one. | |
| There's so much about you that I'm gonna miss. | |
| But it's all I'm saying. | |
| If I hurry, I can still make shame. | |
| Can't flip off the camera. | |
| I hate that he can sing. Of course he can sing. | |
| Tall, handsome, millionaire attitude. | |
| So what are we doing now? Taking a little yacht, a mini one. | |
| So we should probably call it a boat to be honest. | |
|
Can't Swim, Can't Jump
00:00:51
|
|
| It's a lovely place called 101 now. | |
| So we're a boat team. Luke, can you swim? | |
| Yes. Go on, then. Actually, if you could swim, show us. | |
| I can't jump because there's not enough room in the boat. | |
| But if you're such a capable swimmer, Californian, then fuck, man. | |
| The water's warm. It's Dubai. | |
| Can you swim? There's no sharks here. | |
| I promise. All right. I can't swim. I can't swim. | |
| You're welcome. Yeah, I love it. I can't swim. | |
| This is pretty bad. As good as a skyline, that's a futuristic skyline. | |
| It's a beautiful city. Man! | |
| Like, that's the future. That is the future. | |
| What, New York's gonna beat that? | |
| Yeah, now, New York. Come on with the homeless people shitting themselves on the sidewalk. | |
| Yeah! I'll stick with the Vi thing. | |
| They've kept the basics along. | |
| And it's sustainable too. | |
| There's no weird leftism. | |