Why Are We Doing This?
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We have what we like to call an open door policy.
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What does that mean? There was an issue where there was a really hot one and I had a locksmith issue so we kicked that bitch in.
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Wait, it's never locked.
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Good show, everything!
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Good show, everything!
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Take one for the team.
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It is gonna be horrible This is ass. I'm just saying, now I feel safe with him behind the wheel.
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Now. After the fifth one.
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Finally. Finally we feel safe.
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I feel safe. What?
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This doesn't make sense.
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Finally we're safe. Am I insane?
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Am I crazy? We're in the four big body, bro.
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Take a bunch of yours. Am I the crazy one?
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What's this? Yoga fire.
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Am I the crazy one?
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No, I think I'm around a bunch of fucking crazy people.
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All of the time.
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Woo! Look at them!
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Go hang out with someone else, nerd.
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Or hang out with your own kind. Down at the chess club or the library.
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We're boozing. Why am I here?
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Woo!
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What are we doing?
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Hey Luke!
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I can't!
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What is this?
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Give me a beer!
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Why do I hang out with you guys?
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Why do I hang out with these people?
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Wish I'd known a loser!
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What?
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I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
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It's not me, I'm with Paul Beard.
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It can be pretty fun if you got sober up.
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That's Paul Beard, sober up.
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That's why he's sober up.
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That is.
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You know what, I'm sitting there, lips in stipples, got the whole looking for me.
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All my exes live in Texas.
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Yeah.
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I'm not going to tell you.
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And Texas is the place I'd really love to be.
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Crazy too, some girls don't like boys like me.
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Oh, but some girls do.
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What is this?
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Well, I ain't first class, but I ain't quite trash.
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And a little crazy too, some girls don't like boys like me.
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Luke, how long till we're there?
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8 minutes.
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Eight minutes! Eight minutes!
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8 minutes!
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Time for a new fucking roll beer!
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4 booze!
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8 whole fucking minutes!
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God damn!
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Woo!
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Woo!
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What is this guy doing?
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I'm talking about the whole beer at the bus stop.
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What's all this shit? Whole beer!
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I got plenty of these!
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Let's go!
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Take all of this, I hate it, but no beers in London!
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But nothing in Oakwood!
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No beers!
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Yee-haw!
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Why are we doing this? Zoom in.
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So they're waiting up here now.
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Yeah, there's any police up there.
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You know what I'm going to do? And I swear to God, if the police stop us, I'm going to...
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And I'm going to throw some cans at the police.
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You know what? Listen, listen, listen.
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I'm driving. Fuck those motherfuckers.
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I'll throw another beer at the bar.
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I'm 12 with 97 minutes.
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What's wrong with these people? What?
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What's wrong with me? Yeah, what's wrong with you people?
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I'm not a f***ing b**** BOOS WOOHOO Why are we in a boat?
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Where are we going? We're pirates.
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Cowboy pirates.
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That's all I think. Two trash bags.
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And some ice.
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It's called a redneck.
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Fucking ice chest.
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Well, two trash bags, as a man who I can serve, I'm basically a piece of trash.
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Give me that fucking beer. There you go, white boy.
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Thank you very much, my husband. Half white boy.
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Half white boy. I'm a full white boy.
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I'm half white. I'm half white.
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Hey, guess what, baby?
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The house is gonna be shaking.
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Hope those bricks and boards are taken.
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Woo! That's G country, sir.
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What are we doing? We're all super hammered.
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Why are we doing it in Miami on jet skis?
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We shouldn't be here. What are we- Mine's the slowest one.
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Ha! You're slow.
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No, you're slow.
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Yeah, you are! So he's gone full.
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It's not being super wet.
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Ah! He's slow! He's the slow one!
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Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
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Oh.
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Thank you.
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So take confidential. Tristan is naturally slow.
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He's slow. He can't go.
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He's slow. Tristan's slow.
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Tristan's slow. Jet ski hose.
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Remember me on the ferry. He's basically like a one-star hotel room, basically.
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Fuck off, Luke. They're just drinking up there.
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Yeah, we're just drinking. I came to hide.
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We're just drinking down here, mate.
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Find somewhere to sleep, Luke.
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Find somewhere to sleep, mate.
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Bye! Don't check, wow!
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See, I can't get holes in her jet.
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I'm from the streets, bro!
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I'm from the streets! We got two things for you on this island.
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Well, first of all, we bought these genuine Cuban cigars when we left Romania.
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Wait, they're actually real Cubans.
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I know, I know. We bought them.
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I know, real Cubans. The last time we left Romania, the last time we saw these gentlemen, and so...
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Take your picture. Don't call me a gentleman again.
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I did generous. Just so we don't get too classy, show them the redneck ice chest.
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Oh, the redneck ice chest. Oh, the redneck ice chest.
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What do you mean, redneck ice chest?
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Two bags.
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Two plastic bags.
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Filled with ice. The middle one, you fill with ice.
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And you have an insulating layer.
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They're fucking trash bags.
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Insulating layer. Ice cold beer.
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Ice cold. I don't want to question the men of Louisiana, but why wouldn't you just put one bag and fill it with ice hands?
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Yeah, I'm confused. Insulating layer.
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Insulating layer. We need insulating layer.
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I mean insulating layer. But it doesn't make any sense.
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Why do I just have one girlfriend?
Why Not Ice Bags?
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They got you.
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Five minutes ago, everyone here was looking at my ass.
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My jet ski is slow, my jet ski is slow.
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So who's the homo? You were all staring at my naked ass five minutes ago.
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So who's gay? Redneck ice chest, motherfucker.
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What is this? Luke, take your boots.
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Why am I with these degenerates?
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Take your fucking boots. Take your fucking boots.
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Fuck Luke, we only have five more beers anyway.
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Only. Only.
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We'll get more, don't worry. I'm going to pick a truck up on a cab.
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Don't you want to ask me. Alright, so let's hang out here until we have to drive back.
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Mine's slow as fuck. Mine's fucked.
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Cubans. It could be because you're very, very heavy.
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Yeah, I think you can't drive.
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Honestly, it's Walter.
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Folks, don't work that way. Justin isn't.
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Wait till he's in McLaren. I'm in the Aston and I overtake his Aston.
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Boom! I'm going to do McLaren slow.
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Oh, it's so slow.
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They got you, Tristan. We all know your jet skis just as fast as everyone else's.
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It's your slow. You're too afraid to press the button.
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You're too afraid to go all the way down.
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So you go like a quarter of the way.
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It's okay Tristan. I know sometimes it's fast
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We're about to get rich, right here, at Hawthorne University.
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We're going to do a little bit of research. We're going to do a little bit of research.
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We're going to do a little bit of research.
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We have what we like to call an open door policy.
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What does that mean? There was an issue where there was a really hot lawn and I had a locksmith issue so we kicked that bitch in.
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Wait. It's never locked.
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It's never locked. We've been out all day.
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Who the fuck is gonna mess with us?
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What do you mean? They'll just do it when you're not home.
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They're ours. That's right.
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Don't worry. We don't need doors and locks and outlets.
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So everything in here is free?
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Yeah, basically. Free booze!
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So they have loads of free cigars, free booze.
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And absolutely nobody has touched them.
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Until now! If we're crazy enough...
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I wonder how easy it is to take the TV off.
Open Door Policy
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Free TV. It's fine, bro.
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Now we know where he goes to Michigan is loose.
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Free things.
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Yeah, it's free. This is the free house.
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Yeah, it's free. It's all free. Free your suicide.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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Just push pace. Grab the microphone, Justin.
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Yeah, I'm not singing. Yes, you are.
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Here we go. Put Rick, put Rick, put Rick, Ashley, and I'll sing it.
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You're singing, Justin.
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I'm not singing. Justin, you're singing.
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Oh, right. That's what she said.
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Here. Let's go!
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Have you ever heard old Marshall Dylan say, Miss Kitty, have you ever thought of running away?
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Sittling down, would you marry me?
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If I asked you twice, make you pretty pleased.
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I said yes in a New York minute.
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He never tried to knock.
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His heart wasn't in it.
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He just stole a kiss as he rolled away.
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He never hung his hat.
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Get it. That kid is please.
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I should have been a cowboy.
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I should have learned to roll the ride.
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Look at this. What does that mean?
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What does that mean?
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I hope you're still alive!
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Don't do this to me!
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Yes!
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What does that mean?
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Why? I don't know.
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Stop!
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Don't do this to me!
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Stop!
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Don't do this to me!
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Stop!
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We're in a third world country.
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So what was that dance you did last summer in Miami?
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Oh look, this is my house dance.
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You don't know that this is my house dance.
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You guys can't keep buying houses.
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We don't have enough houses. Yeah.
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Pool. We have a pool.
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You need to buy a boat.
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Yeah, how do you need a boat? We don't need a boat.
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We never use the boat.
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So basically the hotel was terrible.
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$2,000 a night.
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Per room. Yeah, per room.
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And then you have to pay $15 for one time.
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No, it's fucking gay. I know.
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In my room, there's no signal for it.
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The phones all don't work.
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The fucking phone signal's trash.
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We have SIM cards. We have American SIM cards.
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We went to go buy them. The whole country.
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I actually think we're in a third world country.
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I figured it out. Yeah, it's failed society.
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Yeah, literally. America's a third world country.
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So now we're in a $13 million house on the Miami fucking canal team.
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And we're just going to have to do what we do best, which is just keep flexing our burquoise.
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But the fucking hotel is a joke.
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Let's hire a barman than a chef.
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A barman and a chef? Barman, chef.
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I'll do a bit of a wrangle. A few shots for Luke.
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No, I don't need these. What do you think?
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No. I mean, yesterday we started drinking at 10 a.m.
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and then we drunk and then the jet skis and we were drunk the whole time.
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We went to that restaurant afterwards and we were drinking there and then we went to the club and then we drunk.
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Well caught today feeling absolutely I'm not aware of his presence.
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No one will ever get our jokes.
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Ever. Luke, is your mom singing?
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Is your mom singing? I call my mom fat.
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Yeah. See, the fat woman's not singing.
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I can't hear her. Can you hear her? To me, that ain't over.