| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Lunch Time
00:06:56
|
|
| So it's a 50-50 kidnap or this is the car? | |
| I mean, it's a luxury Mercedes from 14 years ago with a crack in the windscreen. | |
| I like that. I can roll this way. | |
| Yeah. Now we're talking. | |
| Nice healthy breakfast for your cousin, Andrew. | |
| It's literally not even 6 a.m., man. | |
| Sorry, we'll sit down with some of that. | |
| Yeah. Sure. | |
| White wine is that sweet. Can you tell me? | |
| A glass of white wine? Well, I thought it was grape juice. | |
| It basically is. The other difference between wine and grape juice. | |
| One's older. That's it. | |
| You ever hear the story about the king who lives in the castle and he was trying to plow his fields? | |
| They're making things up. | |
| And the queen didn't want him to because she'd rather he stay at home and become a watercolorist. | |
| I'm not talking to Andrew. | |
| What's for breakfast? | |
| Cheese. Nice. | |
| And wassons. | |
| Nice wassons. | |
| Special bread. | |
| Fuck off things, sir. | |
| Why is Luke's shirt so clean? | |
| I've had 10 G&T's. | |
| He's had 9, that's why. | |
| It's 7.30 a.m. | |
| Oh, it's 7.30 in the morning. | |
| 7.45 actually. | |
| Lunch time. Got tissue for his issue. | |
| Luke, here you go. Here you go, mate. | |
| Here you go. Here you go. | |
| Here's the tissue for your issue. | |
| For the tears. For the tears. | |
| Yeah, right. Yeah, right. | |
| One more booze. Is it booze? | |
| What is it? You ordered it. | |
| What is it? Welcome to Tonic. | |
| Welcome to the real world. | |
| It's not even 8 a.m. | |
| yet. 749. | |
| It's almost 8. | |
| We've only had 15 drinks. | |
| Yeah, right. It's 8 a.m. | |
| I asked for a hot dog. | |
| This is sweet, huh? I didn't ask. | |
| It's sweet in my beer. I removed the asphalt. | |
| I just wanted a hot dog. | |
| You got me beer and Doritos. | |
| It's cold in my brain. | |
| These aren't hot dogs. So? | |
| Hot dog would have been hot. | |
| Cold beer Aikido. The cold beer. | |
| Yeah, we like those. Nice cold beer. | |
| What's your problem? You ever hear the story about the king with the queen and the fields? | |
| No. That's it. | |
| How's the beer, Luke? I said I wanted hot dogs. | |
| I think you wanted hot dogs. This isn't a hot dog. | |
| But I was buying. And I have fucking Doritos. | |
| I don't like Doritos. Yeah, but I need to get you them to stop me from doing something stupid. | |
| In hot dog, how many vowels are there? | |
| Two. In beer, how many vowels are there? | |
| One. One? | |
| There's E twice. | |
| E-ear? E-E. Vowel. | |
| Are you drunk? We're not talking about syllables. | |
| Did you just say own vowels? | |
| I thought you said... No, in hot dog there's two O's, and in beer there's two E's. | |
| Okay, I thought it was syllables. So there's the same amount of vowels. | |
| So we admit that beer is effectively hot dogs. | |
| It's exactly the same. More nutritious. | |
| Nice drinkable glass. | |
| Welcome to the real world, Luke. | |
| Look at the big school. Fish and booze. | |
| XRP is a scam. | |
| Sell it all. Sell all of it. | |
| Duke. We're up over 50% today. | |
| We went on a plane and now we're up 50%. | |
| We should sell it all. It's a scam. | |
| Scams pump the hardest. Why are we in Warsaw? | |
| So I say we go to... | |
| Poland. | |
| Why are we in Warsaw while scam pumps to the moon? | |
| Does that make sense? | |
| All right, they've got roads, they've got boos, and tech, which is a mini bar. | |
| Mini boos. Is Warsaw nice? | |
| It looks very German. Fuck off in Germany. | |
| Are you guys sure you didn't trick me? | |
| We're not in Germany. Ooh, fuck off in Germany. | |
| The mini bar stopped properly. | |
| Two bullets, two runs. | |
| Two Hennessys, three whiskeys. | |
| Well guys, I'm worried that we're in Germany. | |
| Mask police didn't stop me though. | |
| So maybe we're not in Germany. | |
| I like Poland. | |
| Poland's super nice. | |
| Nice hotel. | |
| It's nice. Too bad everything's closed. | |
| I don't know why I'm here. | |
| We're in Poland. I know, I've been to Poland before. | |
| What do you mean you've been here before? | |
| Tell me you've been to places before. | |
| This is my first time Poland. | |
| I'm excited. I'm out there. | |
| I'm out there. Try my best guys. | |
|
First Time In Poland
00:03:48
|
|
| Try my best. Do you know your coffees? | |
| Yeah. I know. | |
| He got you. Poland got me. | |
| They got you. Me and Andrew are drinking at 3am yesterday. | |
| What happened to you? I went back. | |
| Why? Why does your cousin go to bed all the time? | |
| I don't know. Why does he go to bed? | |
| Isn't he the young one? | |
| Shouldn't he have more energy than us? | |
| It's true. Something wrong. | |
| Good morning. Fixed it for you. | |
| I fixed your problem. This didn't solve any problem I had. | |
| No, you had a problem and I fixed it. | |
| I didn't. I had a nice coffee. | |
| We had a problem. Me, you, and A. If I don't get a beer in the next five minutes, I'm going to fucking kill somebody. | |
| That would have been a problem. Yeah. | |
| That would have been a problem. It would have been a huge problem if I murder somebody. | |
| Yeah. If I don't get a beer in the next few minutes, I'm going to kill somebody. | |
| You understand that, right? | |
| I understand. So I now understand the problem. | |
| Yeah, the problem is someone was about to die. | |
| Yeah. Because you're a psycho. | |
| Good thing they served for you. | |
| Good thing. Good thing. | |
| I was gonna say someone's white. | |
| That was close. | |
| Well, Luke. | |
| It's your move. | |
| He's like, I'm done. | |
| I'm done. | |
| Your move. | |
| Please like and subscribe. | |
| We're the only guys in business class. | |
| That's why we've reached levels. | |
| That's why we've unlocked the secret levels. | |
| Like brigades. He would love another one. | |
| Now we're talking. Now we're talking. | |
| Beautiful, isn't it? It's not. | |
| It's never-ending. Somehow, it never empties. | |
| It never empties? It's the never-emptying cup. | |
| And I just wish it was water. | |
| No, in business class, cups don't empty. | |
| I know. But my water cup seems to be emptying. | |
| If you look at the comparison, I don't know. | |
| I think it's different cups. They got the wrong cup for each drink. | |
| I don't know. The water is cheap. | |
| If you had one cup that never emptied, you'd choose the gin and tonic cup. | |
| You could sell them. Pour them out. | |
| Tristan, you want to buy my gin and tonic cup? | |
| No thanks. You sure? Nope. | |
| Got my own. You hear that sound? | |
| That's the sound of your failure. | |
| You're about to hear it from both sides now. | |
| The sound of you being a loser. | |
| What do you wake up to the real world? | |
| You're a gin and tonic. | |
| It never ends. What does gin and tonic stand for? | |
| What does G&T stand for? | |
| Bad tonic. First class. | |
| First class. First class. | |
| First question for both of you. | |
| I wonder if the viewers of Tate Confidential think the booze is fake. | |
| Sir, I'll finish your question today. | |
| I'll ask you a question. I think it's G&T. It's not fake. | |
| I don't really know it's not fake. | |
| It's not fake at all. | |
| It's a real G&T. It's a real shaking I hear in my ears. | |
| The coffee's real too. | |
| This is real. So we've gotten papers and I have no idea what they say at all. | |
| You told me to spell out this piece of paper, yes. | |
|
Yes Exactly Ooh
00:01:23
|
|
| Yes. Anyway. | |
| Ah, here. It says here. | |
| Okay, translations. Well done. | |
| Yeah, translations are there. Nice. | |
| Do you have a pen? No. | |
| No pen. He wants... | |
| I only have notes worth 30 euros each. | |
| And he wants to do this. Yeah. | |
| That looks fun. What else do you use 30 euro on? | |
| The driver's here in one second. | |
| Yeah, yeah. And he's our driver. | |
| Rich. Tristan. | |
| Tristan, I'm gonna travel with him. | |
| He does have clean shirt, doesn't he? | |
| So we made it. Yes. | |
| Exactly. Ooh, it's cold. | |
| It is cold. You were right. | |
| You did tell me it was cold here. | |
| They bring a jacket down, which is cold. | |
| Yep. It's cold, depressing, communist winter. | |
| Nice. I speak Russian. | |
| So it's a 50-50 kidnap or this is the car? | |
| I mean, it's a luxury Mercedes from 14 years ago with a crack in the windscreen. | |
| I like that. I can roll this way. | |
| Yeah. I'm an old school kind of guy. | |
| I can happily roll this thing, you know? | |
| All the clues to traditional Belarusian food. | |
| Nice. We're eating Belarus. | |
| Can't we just have some nice Belarusian food? | |
| Yeah, exactly. Follow the clues, guys. | |