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Sept. 23, 2022 - Minion Death Cult
05:21
Yet they choose a side with the sole intent to damage the livelihoods of the "guilty" doggy bag company (preview)

This week Alex tells the tale of the evil rear-tine tiller he rented from Home Depot A man with a double masters in "mkting and econ from U of New Mex" schools a woke sjw doggy bag customer in the Q and A section of an Amazon product page And finally, California outlaws firing employees for marijuana use off the clock, and Washington Post readers ask: hmm, what if a cop were high, exhibited poor judgement, and shot someone he wasnt supposed to? What then? Help us do the show for only $3.11/month and get 20% off merchandise, a bonus episode every week, and instant access to hundreds of previous bonus episodes, directly in your podcast app or browser. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult T-shirts, hats, and stickers at http://miniondeathcult.com   

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In the 90s, Earth Day became mainstream and global.
What the fuck?
Yeah, that's where the environmental craze came from, was the advent of Earth Day.
That's why I care about the Earth, was because of Earth Day.
Fucking hippies.
I literally have not seen an Earth Day post in the last 10 to 20 years.
No way.
I think I've seen more Arbor Day posts, because at least I think something happens that day.
People at least plant trees that day.
Um, green became the go-to color of the, quote, environment.
I love the scarecrow.
It's a random environment.
Yeah, dog.
Mocking the idea of an environment.
What other color would you use for the environment?
What are you talking about?
Yeah.
Let him have that one.
Quote, reduce, recycle and reuse.
Quote, give a hoot.
Don't pollute.
But.
Quote, all gone?
No!
So I think what he means is...
Nothing about recycling or reusing, uh, indicates that things just magically disappear.
Like the diapers.
Okay.
Yeah.
I, I, okay.
I kind of get what they're talking about.
It's like the whole, the whole thing where it's like, um, cause yeah, the trash stuff is pretty fucked.
Um, things don't usually go, don't usually get separated and whatnot.
You know, that's not usually happening the way it's supposed to be as advertised.
Like when you lift the lid at Chipotle, the recycling and the landfill go into the same bag.
Yeah.
And that's what he's mad about.
But it's like one of the few things we have control in is what we put our dog poop in.
Well, also reduce, recycle, and reuse, or don't pollute.
Like, those just aren't talking about composting.
Composting is another thing.
Sorry, there's another thing you have to know about, Guy, but there is.
Things will compost.
Things will magically disappear if you leave them outside, certain things.
Oh, you're telling me if I just plant a magic seed that fruit and vegetables are going to come out?
Mm-hmm.
Is that what you're going to tell me next?
Those fruit and vegetables will also magically disappear.
Oh, I could just get fruit off of a bush and make jelly out of it?
Is that what you're going to tell me next?
Well, but the jelly won't disappear.
It goes into you, and then it turns into shit inside of you, and then you push the shit out, and then that shit will disappear.
Oh, no.
I shit in the trash can, too.
I shit into the green bags, as well, on top of my beer bottles and diapers.
So, yeah.
Nice try, bud.
Yeah, I care about the environment so much I never want my shit to ever touch the earth.
I think it's disrespectful if my shit gets on the earth, so I wrap it in plastic.
I wrap it tightly in plastic before I drop it into the dump.
I mean, think about it.
Would you shit on your mother?
Why would you shit on Mother Earth?
I mean, we all kind of did shit on our mother, but that was before we knew better.
Yeah, that's true.
No, not me.
I was perfect.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's definitely reflects the way your mom speaks to you in front of me.
Is that you were perfect.
Yeah.
Okay, he says, he goes on, I think y'all know that too.
Every single one of you problematic individuals have caused a culture that picks at vulnerable people, products, and companies.
Remember, this is a question about dog shit bags.
Then form a coalition of like-minded individuals who also lack complete information.
Yet believe they have enough information to choose a side with the sole intent to damage reputations and livelihoods of the, quote, guilty.
Like these dog, doggy bags.
These doggy bags are guilty!
I condemn thee!
Says the woke mob about the doggy bags.
Yeah.
It's like, man.
Yeah, dude.
That's exactly what's, I guess what you're saying is happening is what's happening.
But the question is, is that like a bad thing?
I do.
Yeah.
I think that all doggy poop bags should be biodegradable.
And, um, why are we even making them if not for that?
God, this fucking question about the doggy bags is some of the most Orwellian shit I've seen in a long time.
Like, oh, biodegradable bags, good.
Non-biodegradable bags, bad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's do some class warfare on these bags here.
It's quite common for a tragic news story to get 13 seconds of dialogue in a five-second video, presenting evidence, testimony, and cross-examination.
Trials can last for months, not seconds.
Remember, yeah, it was about doggy bags.
Y'all honestly believe the U.S.
Constitution is, many times, unnecessary, especially when all the evidence was presented just before the, quote, weather on the sevens.
I've always pondered.
Is this how the quote lefties get off these days?
Or do they honestly believe that they are the moral right?
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