This week for Patreon supporters, we cover the breaking news that Trump met the Minion, and how the reaction to this historic event further shapes our understanding of the Minion as a right-wing totem and Our review of Kanye - Jesus Is King http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult
| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| R. Lee says, second screenshot, second comment in this screenshot. | |
| Then they went back inside, so talking about Donald Trump. | |
| Yep. | |
| Then they went back inside where Melania slipped into something more comfortable and then DJT nailed the hell out of her. | |
| Damn, I love me some Trump. | |
| MAGA! | |
| Like... | |
| How? | |
| Like, no one talks about Trump fucking. | |
| Like, that's, like, not a thing people talk about. | |
| Or they shouldn't talk about. | |
| Like, they should talk about it because of other, I guess, strong points. | |
| But, like, Trump fucking is, like, not something that... | |
| You think he has the ability to like nail the shit out of anything? | |
| I think he definitely has sex with her. | |
| I think he likes sex a lot because he's a dude. | |
| I think he probably like probably like makes out with her a little bit and then he like unhooks her bra with one hand or he starts to and And then he says, this is taking too long. | |
| And then he bites the bra off with his teeth. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And rips it off. | |
| And then he throws it up into the air and it lands on the set. | |
| Like he throws it with his teeth up into the air. | |
| And then it lands on the stuffy butler's head. | |
| Yeah. | |
| He goes, well done, sir. | |
| And then he excuses himself from the room. | |
| That's his cue. | |
| I also just like that in this scenario, Melania still had to change clothes. | |
| Like, she wasn't wearing anything Halloween-y. | |
| She wasn't wearing a costume. | |
| But she still had to, like, go slip into something more comfortable. | |
| And then, then he could nail her. | |
| That's what hot ladies do before they have sex. | |
| They slip into something more comfortable. | |
| Um, and then, and then they do it. | |
| With our president. | |
| Yeah, totally. | |
| Like, who, who even says nailed, like, nailed for sex anymore? | |
| Like, that's so, like, This comment is so fucked. | |
| I want to use that. | |
| We should probably, like, nail each other. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Sorry, what? | |
| We should, huh? | |
| I'm gonna nail you hard. | |
| If somebody says, I'm gonna nail the hell out of you, keep an eye out for a crucifix. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Cause they think you're a vampire and they're going to spike you. | |
| Um, yeah. | |
| So this is just really cool thing. | |
| No, you were saying like, nobody talks about Trump having sex or whatever. | |
| Like these people do because Melania is like, Melania is used as evidence of Trump's prowess. | |
| She is a staple in these right-wing boomer memes. | |
| She's proof that he is, in fact, a virile man. | |
| Yeah, look at Melania compared to Hillary. | |
| Now tell me who's the better man. | |
| Well, see, the thing is, look at Bill next to Melania and tell me who's the better person. | |
| I guess he still wins. | |
| I think Milani has probably had much less direct... Yeah, Milani is the better person for sure. | |
| Yeah, undoubtedly. | |
| She married an awful person and is complicit in his awfulness, but she has nowhere near the blood on her hands as Bill Clinton. | |
| I mean, obviously. | |
| Or Hillary Clinton. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah, so no, you have to talk about Trump being just like a fuck machine. | |
| He's just swinging dick around the White House because he's married to Melania. | |
| Why would you be married to Melania if you didn't like plow that every night, you know? | |
| Yeah. | |
| It doesn't make sense. | |
| What a waste. | |
| What a waste of a hottie. | |
| And so I'm just looking at this comment and I'm like, this is really weird, like fantasizing about your president, like fucking his wife and like, I dunno, gaining some sort of glory from it or whatever. | |
| And I realized, no, this is the minion thing again. | |
| Yep. | |
| This guy, R. Lee, is the child in the Minion costume watching Trump fuck Melania. | |
| And like cheering him on. | |
| Cheering on daddy and mommy with a candy bar slipping off his head. | |
| Talking about how cool it is that they're having sex. | |
| See, he's allowed to shame me because he fucks. | |
| Yeah, I mean, you fucking doesn't even, like, enter the equation. | |
| Like, it's beyond comprehension. | |
| Like, you're just lucky that, hey, my president and first lady are so fucking hot. |