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May 10, 2024 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
43:01
S5E90 - GANGRENOUS AIDS (FREE PART)

  WTF is going on? Some blackademic retard pronounces EVERY graduates name wrong and nobody stops her. Ashton Whitty appears to be pursuing porn. Paid agitators are suing each other. Black Twitter is white. "I feel like I'm taking crazy pills."

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Time Text
Got a rat in this house, got a rat in this house, got a rat in this house, got a rat in this house, got a rat in this house, got a rat in this house, got a rat in this house.
The feds should have a fine squeak while wearing sneak.
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
Pushy, yeah get ready to whack that rap, Big Pushy Bring a bucket and a mop for that rat, Big Pussy.
Bring a trash bag with some rope for that rat, Big Pussy.
Couldn't do the time, flip the charge.
Be on guard at the boatyard.
Don't shoot Pussy right in his face.
Mail his wife Angie a postcard.
We're on top and on the rise.
I got a guy on the inside, said he was a rat.
Look me in the eye, Big Pussy's wired, the guy wouldn't lie.
Shoot him up.
Fuck it.
Very difficult situation.
So difficult.
Big pussy's a fucking rat.
I always thought, like, James Gandolfini must have thought, okay, I'm a big mob guy.
They have to have a funny voice because of Marlon Brando.
And Marlon Brando had the, oh, you're gonna do it today.
With the chin and the cheeks.
So we go, I better come up with a thing.
I'll do this.
Cause James Gandolfini doesn't sound like that.
No.
I'll tell you what I do sound like.
Um, but we were doing with, with Marty, he called me up and he said, uh, Hey, we want you to do this role.
And I said, I'd be honored.
I mean, he's a legend, you know, so.
That's what he sounds like.
And it does suck when you watch an interview with him.
Well, what really sucks is when his fucking loser son gets up there and does the Saints of Bullmark Warhouse Newark thing.
And he's just like...
And he doesn't do a fucking accent.
Fucking work on your Tony Soprano.
His face is big and smiley and loud.
Even when you're not being violent.
It's been so long since I... A little bit of a temper, but it's, you know, a useless temper.
Doesn't accomplish anything generally.
It's just a lot of ranting and raving and nothing.
Just a lot of ranting and raving and nothing.
He plays himself.
He sounds like my Bronx cop friend who moved to L.A.
and totally lost his accent in a few years.
Hi Gavin, how are you?
He used to be like, what the fuck?
I was like, excuse me, what the heck?
Did you ever, you know, when he goes into that, uh, the fucking dream sequence and he's in a Cobra and he's living that alternate life where he's a guy at an airport and he meets his gal at the hotel bar.
He plays a character, Kevin Finity.
Remember that?
That's him.
He plays himself in the show.
Oh, essentially.
That's funny.
So, Big Pussy was a snitch?
He got the wrong snitch, right?
What did Big Pussy do?
Who was wearing a wire?
He got the wrong guy at the beginning.
It's been so long.
That movie got me my wife.
She used to come over on Sundays, because I had Asheville.
And that was our tradition.
And that solidified us.
And I took her to Costa Rica.
And made her my wife.
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I was going to I was going to play this new jam by Ryan Long.
I texted it to you.
That was going to be the intro.
I don't know why I chose... I'll tell you why I chose that soprano thing because I spent all Thursday organizing all our songs into like intro songs that we haven't played yet into like surf punk, metal, punk, oi, hardcore, indie pop, and satire.
And then under satire there was that MAGA mix.
I just tweeted it where he's like Get out of here!
Great mix, great mix!
And then I got in the satire mode and the Sopranos one was at the top of that list.
And then this one I just added to the satire list.
But play that, play that one Jamie.
I fucking hate rap.
Me too.
I like satire rap because it seems to sort of be making fun of rap.
I predict Brian Stelter is going to get divorced.
Women don't mind being married to a pariah.
Then he'll steal your queen.
Brian Stelter.
And she'll fiend for his meat.
Brian.
It's a big piece.
Got that newsman dick with the newsman click.
And he's hitting chicks with that big stelter.
I predict Brian Stelter is going to get divorced.
Like a seltzer.
He-- women don't mind being married to a pariah.
They don't like being married to the laughing stock.
And he ruined his brand, which already sucked, by posting that picture of him in his little red socks.
You know the pic I'm talking about?
Yes.
Find that pic.
Socks.
He's like, he's like, this is me at work, you guys.
And he's got his suit on and he's like, what kind of faggot wears red socks?
That's sexy.
Are you trying to be sexy?
A little sexy elf?
That's one step away from being a painting my toenails guy, which, uh, Burt Kreischer is one of those guys now.
So is Ron White, which is sad.
There, look at that.
I mean, that's not very good resolution, but... You're supposed to be a serious newsman.
This is what you have on underneath the desk.
The rest of your suit, dude.
What a douche.
I actually know someone that had dinner with him recently.
And she was like, his wife, who, remember our joke for the longest time was tighter than Brian Stelter's wife's pussy?
Because we just assume it never gets used.
Because who would fuck him?
I mean, I think he has two kids.
She's fucked him twice.
And the wife was telling the table about this guy she was dating that dumped her and she was getting old.
And so I married this guy.
And she points to Brian Stelter, who's sitting there going, Yep, that's me.
Choice number two.
The one that didn't get away.
Do you like his smile though?
I love his smile.
You do?
Actually I know another dude who knows him, this was months ago, and he goes, hey I'm with Brian Stelter in the city, you should come by.
And I go, no thanks.
And then he goes, Brian said good.
You know what's weird?
You could probably get along with him.
Like, when you meet people that suck for all... Like, you would probably get along with Ana Kasparian or... No.
The worst most people ever.
No, where are you getting that from?
Terrible theories, Rivera.
I think you'd have more in common than you'd think.
Shut up.
That's such a dumb thing to say.
I got, my cousin was drunk, I think I told you this, right?
In Chicago, and he puts me, he goes, hey man, it's no one's society here!
And he goes, hello?
And I go, yes.
And he goes, and then I can hear my cousin go, he wants to know about the Proud Boys.
And I go, it's a men's club.
It started because we were trying to get this dude, Ben Ratner, laid.
And we ended up, I explained the whole thing.
He goes, so when did it become a hate group?
And I thought, like, people, having to constantly defend yourself and say, I'm not a Nazi, I'm not in a hate group.
Fuck you.
Like, that's like having to sit there and go, I'm not retarded or something.
So, no, you're retarded, fuckface.
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm not at the point now where I go, no, no, no, we're not racist, there's totally black guys in it.
I just go, fuck you.
I go, yeah, the whole shit hate group is for normies who are uninformed and just eat whatever Rachel Maddow feeds them.
You sound like one of those guys.
Well, I'm actually black.
Yeah, I know you're black, dude.
I can hear your accent.
Do you not know that you guys sound different than everyone else?
Especially in Chicago?
Fucking douche.
Today's paper, of course.
Stormy, make it rain.
On last night's show, which is not free, this is the free part of the Friday show, I explained what Mercedes Carrera told me on the phone, which is she said he did fuck her.
A bunch of porn stars went to a golf thing in 2006, and I think he thought it was consensual.
Because you pay up front if it's prostitution.
Stormy's too stupid to get the money up front.
So she was like, I want some money for that.
And he's like, what?
We made love.
I thought she liked me.
Get her out of here!
Let's say 90% of Americans don't give a shit about this.
Oh, you want him to be president?
Oh, really?
Did you know he might have fucked a porn star 50 years ago?
Or 20 years ago, almost 20 years ago.
Oh, okay.
I figured everyone did.
Who hasn't fucked a porn star?
They're sluts.
It's hard to avoid it.
They're available.
We got a lot to cover today a lot of stuff a lot of stuff I Have a sprinkle submission you have a sprinkle submission yes, so you get content now Well, I just thought that it would be good to... Warning, warning, warning.
Shitty suggestion incoming.
Ignore for your own safety.
Okay, that's... Did you make that or did I make that?
I did not.
Why would I make things that make me sound like I'm shitty?
I don't remember saying that.
I believe that.
But I don't remember saying that.
Uh-oh, my pocket square is going bye-bye.
You have a full-blown alarm.
It's just a little sprinkle.
It's quick.
10 seconds.
Isn't that true?
I guess.
You have friends in the house and you just remember like, oh let me go bother them real quick and then you run away?
I haven't had a fucking roommate since Montreal when Shane and I lived at the vice office.
So that would be 98.
I don't remember what it's like to have a roommate.
I mean, I guess I do now.
Yeah, I do have roommates.
Teenagers are roommates.
Like, they don't like you.
You text a teen something funny and they don't reply.
Ouch.
That's rude.
He doesn't even, I, he doesn't, his phone doesn't work.
Like I've, I've called him with his phone in his hand and I'm sitting next to him and it doesn't ring.
He doesn't, you can only text him.
And then the daughter, she's cool, we get along.
But that's the beauty of boarding school.
Tucker Carlson told me that a long time ago, just a name drop.
He said, send your kids to boarding school, you have a common enemy, and instead of them hating you, they hate their teacher, you hate their teacher too, because all your money's going to this moron, he better be doing a good job.
And the common enemy brings you together.
Those people?
They're not dating my daughter, I can tell you that!
Uh, did you have something to say, Ryan?
I did.
Well, I'd like to start this off in a positive way, and I think, did we see you at a game by any chance?
You've been going to games?
I was at a Mets game when Doc Gooden, when they retired his number, that was weeks ago.
I didn't know they showed you on the TV there.
What?
There you are.
Is that you?
I can't tell.
He doesn't even have a beard.
I can see how I'd be mistaken for that guy.
Oh, he doesn't have a beard, you're right.
But I haven't shaved.
He's a youthful guy and everything's good, so... No.
Okay.
This was going around.
People thought this was me.
It is me.
And I just want to explain something here.
We had made it very clear with signage all over this parking lot that we don't want people taking pictures.
And people ignored that.
I think they ignored it.
Oh, okay.
Wait, you muted the cat man?
Yeah, all he does is post, like, women.
Like, pictures of women, naked.
And I'm like, can you fuckin' chill?
Oh.
Um... Yeah, so, you gotta understand the context of why I was angry here.
Let's blow that up.
Erase it now, Jackass!
Erase it now!
That's legal notice!
Erase it now!
You have a badge?
Yeah.
I made a badge.
That's big.
You gotta understand that people have been photographing and videotaping National Medal for weeks, and they hired me to do security, and I had a budget to create a vehicle.
They said it can't be motorized.
And I just, I'd had enough.
They tell you where the office is.
The office is at 2 Neal Court.
You can just go over there.
If you have a problem, don't film them.
Go to the office.
I shoot this show in the evenings.
I am free most of the day.
I got a job doing security at National Metal.
If you want to fuck around, then please come and find out.
I will make you delete any pictures you take.
I've had enough.
That Canadian tranny dude is back.
He's literally lost his balls.
But he's got a great metaphor.
He likes to use candy to describe his genitalia.
I am 74.6% sure this guy's fucking funny and he's one of us.
I get banned from Disney.
I swear, we're about to get banned from Disney.
Last summer, I got my cake pops removed, and the plan up until recently was to get my marshmallow wand reconfigured into a marshmallow tunnel.
Unfortunately, a few weeks ago, I noticed some hair regrowth on my marshmallow wand.
That's bad, because the outside of the wand is what becomes the inside of the tunnel.
As we all know, when you turn your penis inside out and there's hairs on it, the friction of intercourse wears off those hairs.
They get pushed deeper in and you create a hairball deep in your man's cervix, your male, your handmade man-made cervix.
And that hairball then rots.
And your vagina, no matter how much you clean it, has these wafts of rotting hair.
Like, you know when you clean out your drain in the shower and you pull out that coagulated hair that has slime?
I'm gonna make myself dry.
That is in your vagina.
And it smells very badly.
If you go on Reddit, you can hear a lot of post-op trainees complaining about the putrid, rotting smell.
My hair is growing there or else it's very uncomfortable.
So I talked to my surgeon and he said that it would be best to postpone the procedure until after hair removal is complete.
This is obviously disappointing because I was really excited to have a marshmallow tunnel sooner.
That being said, it is still happening.
We're just not sure when it's happening.
Hair removal is a fickle thing and it's really hard to predict when it will finish.
But my hair removal technician thinks it will be before the end of the year.
So, fingers crossed.
Come with me and you'll see my two tits, fake tits and my chopped off penis.
What do you think?
What percentage do you think he's, do you think it's possible he's kidding?
He's got the nose piercing, so like that's, that would be commitment unless that's magnetic.
So other than the nose piercings, there's nothing else permanent going on there, you know, like If, like, if he was a Nazi, pretending to be a Nazi, and he had, like, a swastika tattoo on his forehead, I'd probably lean towards he's serious.
The nose piercings are close.
Well, those could just be glued on.
Right.
The middle one, the ring there, the septum ring, that could just be there with, you know, held on tight, pinching it.
And then that could just be body glue, body glue.
But those, it's hard to keep something glued on your nose because your nose is moving around.
Magnets though, you know, they have those magnetic ones.
Do they do they?
Yep.
Do they do they?
They do.
So what percentage?
I'm actually like at 78% he's serious.
Oh, so the opposite of me.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Because of the piercings.
You know what, this is probably going to break his heart, but dude, it's very male to have all your nomenclature correct, like cake pops and tunnel and marshmallow wand or whatever.
Girls would just go, I was about to have my little like chocolate thingies removed and I did, but then I got the, the whatever, the chocolate marshmallow stick thingy, like to know the terms.
Hmm.
That's a guy thing.
Sorry.
Everyone has different hair removal TikTok.
Lilitino.
What else?
Speaking of... Pretty handsome guy.
Very, very hairy though.
Holding his grapes.
That's foreshadowing.
Yeah.
Last time I'll be doing this.
He'll be taking, he took his grapes off the tree, removed the grapes from the host.
Get well soon.
Wishing you a speedy recovery.
It's ma'am.
I think that, wait, the comments kind of make me think, I don't know.
Like remember when he was dressed the same as his dog?
Oh.
Oh wait, that's a fag.
This would be a deep cover operation.
I know, but he doesn't look remotely feminine.
Like that guy that we saw is just shaved.
You know, they alter their face when they take estrogen.
He looks exactly like that.
You don't look like that, dude.
I realize I'm a trans bully from high school.
Oh.
Yeah, your hair is gross.
Look at his gross pubic hair.
This is a full transition.
I got in touch with a buddy recently from the early 90s that I hadn't seen in a long time.
He's like, it's weird, I check in on you, I listen to your podcast, and I go, oh, you're signed up to Censored?
He goes, what's that?
They just watched this free show.
And he goes, I was surprised to hear you still hate trans.
And I'm like, I never hated trans.
I don't have the gumption to hate trans.
I think they're fucking mentally ill gays and they make me laugh.
I don't hate them.
I hate pedophiles.
I hate people that are a thing.
Trans people are just silly.
I don't take them seriously.
Is that, I guess that's hate now.
It's hate to not listen to you.
Oh.
Did a workout.
I posted my workout on Twitter and everyone made fun of me.
I knew that was going to happen.
That's not nice of them.
That hurt my feelings, just so you know.
The chin thing hurts my feelings.
And when I complete a very difficult workout and you say, thanks, I'm going to send this to my grandma.
And, uh, oh my God, my girlfriend's going to love this.
You have hurt me today.
Uh, fucking 25 pound dumbbells doing flies.
15 reps.
15 reps, three times?
That's not nothing.
That's hard!
In fact, as I was doing it, I was like, thank you, Purple Works, because I don't think I could do this.
Like a fly is, it's counterintuitive.
You go way back here, and you slowly bring them up.
You can't touch them.
That's easy?
Well, then I'm a pussy.
If that's nothing to you, then I'm weak.
And what's wrong with that?
Yeah, it's not nice to discourage people that are... I called it the Super G. Someone posted a picture of Super Grover.
That's not even... That's heartless.
That is heartless.
Okay, that one's not necessarily hard, but it's 20 squats with a weight is what it is.
Did I ever tell you about the time we were all working out together and I picked up a 20-pound kettlebell with my cock, like I was holding onto my foreskin?
No.
And I walked over to the other guys and I go, is this how you're supposed to hold it?
And they're all like, ah!
Working-class Brooklyn Bronx people, they're very sensitive about gay shit and penises.
In Canada, it's a major part of our comedy.
And, uh, they were like, wash that thing!
Fucking wash that!
I'm not touching that!
I'm not touching that!
Ew, it's been penised!
And, uh, a couple days later I looked down taking a piss.
Oh my God!
My cock is black!
Wow.
As coal.
I had severely bruised it.
And thank God I'm married, because if I was single I would think, holy shit, one of the sluts I fucked must have had, like, gangrenous AIDS.
Good episode title.
So, Purpleworks, just before you mock that workout, please try it.
It takes half an hour, and tell me that that was nothing.
Please.
I worked out with you, Ryan.
You almost died.
Well, yeah, that was a totally different workout from what I was used to.
Yeah, it was tough.
Because the thing is, I was doing all hypertrophy, so I get like a three minute rest.
And the Puerto Rican guy sipping his Monster energy drink at 10 a.m., he's like, no, you have to go ahead, it's 30 seconds rest.
He only lets me do 45 seconds at the most.
That sucks.
Yeah, it's a totally different demand.
And some of those are zero break.
Like after you're on the bike, which the bike is as hard as you want it to be, you have to go straight to the kettlebells.
There's no sense in being smug about that sort of shit because, like, when I first started doing boxing, I couldn't do this for, like, 30 seconds.
Like, literally just this.
Without being tired.
But I was lifting the most I ever lifted ever.
I was dead lifting a ton.
I was, you know, 100 pound dumbbells.
So it's like, it just doesn't translate.
It's a different workout.
So don't be smug.
But we do, me and Hector do a different workout every single time.
Like, I'll never do that thing again.
The Super G.
Anyway, this is all a giant commercial for Purple Works.
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Creatine for strength, caffeine and green tea extract for energy and focus, vitamins for muscle and tissue repair, and carnosine beta alanine for the tingles.
That's the little pricklies you get in your hands and you have to work out to make them go away.
This is one of the last chances to get Purple Works before they update their formula, so this could be a coveted baby monster collector's item.
But wait, there's more.
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Whether you enter the French press or the bench press, Purpleworks has you covered.
Go to purpleworksnutrition.com, enter promo code GAVIN for 15% off.
Purpleworks likes you more than a friend.
I have... We should almost start a new segment called Crazy Shit.
Because I have some crazy shit to show you.
I have it classified into various sections, but I don't want to...
Go into the whole section.
I have a competency crisis and some other stuff, but these things are so intense that I want to pull them out of their categories and just put them under what the fuck was that?
That's it.
New thing we got to do.
WTF was that?
Yep.
What the fuck was that?
And I'll give you the audio for the interstitial.
I'm gonna show you ready? - I'm gonna read. - Yep. - What the fuck was that?
So Ashton Witte, I consider her a good pal.
She went through some horrible shit.
This is the thing.
I did a Battle of the Bands about the Sex Pistols that's coming out soon.
And they, when they did the Bill Grundy thing and said, you dirty old men, they became the number one go-to media spotlight thing.
And it's very intense.
I think men can handle it much better than women.
Men don't give a shit if everyone hates them.
I didn't mind, but I minded that my wife was so affected and my kids were ostracized.
But personally, I would dress up like Hitler every day.
I've seen it.
I've seen Laura Loomer be on the verge of suicide.
I've seen Ashton Witte, when she became outed as right-wing, she was in Hollywood.
Her whole family X'd her.
And her friends dumped her.
I hooked her up with Proud Boys and she would sleep on the couches of various Proud Boys.
And no one made a move on her.
She wasn't molested by anyone.
So I thought that was very cool of me and the club.
And then when some shit hit some fan, I can't remember what it was, if it was yay or something, but she totally stabbed me in the back.
I was like, yeah, he's a dick.
Like I had her on my show and stuff and I was always trying to help her find a man.
Anyway, fickle bitch.
But that's what this being a pariah does to females.
And I hadn't checked in on her since she stabbed me in the back.
And someone just sent me this.
What is this, OnlyFans?
So, NSFW, we're about to show pornography.
This is her, I believe, masturbating with a dildo.
It's very erudite masturbator.
Yes.
Hello.
Yes.
Yes.
That was for a minute.
It'd be a lot faster to come if my shorts were off.
That's all I'm saying.
This isn't a face swap AI, is it?
I don't think so.
Like, that's why we're starting a new segment called What the Fuck Was That?
Because I don't know if this is real.
It doesn't look like face swap.
The mic would fuck that up, wouldn't it?
I think this is where she's at lately.
She tweeted out that she was, like, bi-curious and the conservative movement didn't allow her to be herself.
That's such bullshit.
I wish the conservative movement didn't let you be yourself.
When there's a tranny in the mix, a mega tranny, they all start drooling going, look, we're not homophobic.
They're so happy.
Let's have mega drag queen story hour.
It'll show everyone we're not homophobic.
Let's rape kids.
With mega hats on!
So that confused me a lot.
And then, I'm not following the thingamajoodles here.
I'm not following the agenda properly.
Jump all the way to 21.
So there's these kids graduating from Thomas University.
And the name pronunciation, is this competency crisis?
Is this a joke?
Is this fake?
The pronunciation of these very simple names, like Elizabeth Brown, Elizabeth Brown.
If this is a joke, then I'm a moron.
And by the way, if this is a joke, you just wasted everyone's time.
So stop doing jokes like this.
But if this is real, I've never seen this level of incompetence.
And if someone is illiterate, I understand.
Hey, Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols couldn't read until he was 40.
I know guys at my gym who can't read.
Well, one.
So it's not the end of the world.
I don't quite get it.
How you couldn't just sink yourself into learning to read for two weeks.
But okay, that's a thing.
Why would you get someone that's this illiterate To announce some of the most important moments in these young people's lives.
And as far as having your name read out loud, this is probably the most important time in your life you will hear your own name.
And they get this fucking retarded cunt to read them out.
Listen to this.
Maybe Lee Zubath Bratasky.
Stop.
Stop.
Maybe Lee Zubath.
You mean Elizabeth?
You mean Maeve Elizabeth?
Maeve-e-liz-a-beth.
Oh, that's what we should do.
You should read them before she does, to be fair.
Okay.
Marissa Lynn Brabazon something.
Sair Uvun Jinju Breenan.
Stop.
Excuse me?
Sarav Ur Jinya Breenan.
Help me out.
Somebody's space bar was broken when they wrote her script.
Like, do you know what it is?
I don't think she knows what a space is.
She doesn't know what separate words are.
Can you check the comments and make sure I'm not wasting everyone's time?
This was just sent as a video attachment.
Oh, that's unfortunate.
Is this a gag?
No, well look at the faces of them.
Yeah, they're not thrilled.
By the way, Sarah Virginia Brennan has never been called Sarav once in her entire life.
Including kindergarten, where her friends are like, Hi, I'm Emily, is your name Sarah?
She's never been called Sarav.
I gotta admit, I've never seen anyone do that.
I actually, I have been fucked over with like, the worst example of Gavin McInnes was of course the famous Cabby Ines.
I've had MC Ines before.
Gaven a ton.
But uh, no one's ever called me like, Gavinem.
Kinnes.
Sarah, is that short for Saruv?
I remember when my youngest was four.
Let's say his first name was Bobby.
I go, uh, what's your whole name?
What's your middle name again?
He goes, my name's Bobby Eatworms Innes.
He eats worms.
That's my middle name.
His middle name is Eats Worms.
He's so fucking funny.
That's why my tattoo says Michael Frog Jackson, because we were playing Family Trivial Pursuit, and he was like four, and he obviously wasn't getting anything right.
And it was frustrating him, because it was a family pursuit, so my other kids were eight and 10, and so they were getting the kid ones right.
So I forget what the question was, but he just sort of pushes past his siblings at four, and he goes, Michael Frog Jackson.
I said yes and gave him a pie.
You nailed it.
Did you just have the loudest fart on earth?
No, I threw my coffee cup into the garbage.
Oh.
All right, let's continue with this.
Out of my ass.
For the sake of argument, we have to assume this is real.
All right?
This is all we have is the video.
So let's assume it's real.
I'll pay you 10 bucks if I got it wrong and I'm not getting a joke right.
Marisolin from Boston.
Marcilin.
Marissa Lynn is Marcilin.
Is she so used to, like, Shaniqua that when she sees normal names, she's confused?
This is a Key and Peele sketch.
Remember?
I have it pulled up, yeah.
Where Key is, yeah, mispronouncing names.
This was very popular, went super viral.
Timothée.
They actually made it into a commercial for Universal.
Timothée.
Present.
Thank you!
I'm gonna take a little roll here.
J. Quellen?
Here.
You are present.
Balaké?
I'm here.
Uh-huh.
D. Nice?
Here.
Good.
Jessica?
Just see.
Okay, so we've all seen that a million times.
This is that in real life.
Tristan Swigert-Boyer.
I think it's... Or maybe Boyer.
Brabazen Carr.
That's the Brabazen.
Okay, this is easy.
This is one of the easiest names I've ever seen.
We've all heard of Queen Victoria.
We've all heard of Queen Elizabeth.
Maybe some of us have heard of Robert the Bruce.
These names are all over history.
There's the Hulk.
No, there's Batman, Bruce Wayne.
There's a million celebrities with these names.
Posh Spice, right?
Victoria Beckham.
Bruce Banner.
I just said Bruce Banner.
But then you said no.
No, I was gonna say he was... Oh yeah, well who's David Banner?
A rapper, I think.
David Banner.
Unless that's one of the rapper things where they take a name, like... I don't know.
So Bruce Banner is the Hulk, okay.
So you don't have to know British history.
How could you not know these motherfucking names?
I predict she'll say Bruce A. Well, so she doesn't know what a space is, right?
So, Victoria-le-zeb.
Victoria-liza, Beth-brookie.
Victoria-liza, Beth-brookie.
I think that's what she's going to say.
Lee!
Stupid Frost!
What the heck?
Victoria Lee, Zabeth Roos.
We were wrong.
What?
There's like no method to it that we could track.
Lee, Zubathrus.
Zubath?
She doesn't even get Zabath right.
How do you get Zubath out of Zabath?
Car.
Here we go.
Victoria, Leigh Zubith Bross.
Victoria Leigh Zubith Bross.
Okay, even with her idiocy, it should be Victoria, Ellie, Zabeth, Bruce.
But she goes, Victoria Lee, so the E disappears.
The A becomes Zubeth.
And then the B just dies.
What?
What the heck?
Victoria Elizabeth Bruce. - Not what she said!
We live in a world where that woman could be fired for racism.
Yeah.
After this video goes viral.
This is a university and a graduation.
So it's the world's worst commercial for Thomas University.
You mean Toh Masyun?
Get this, she doesn't even know how to pronounce her own school's name.
Marlena.
Oh, Melanie is not bad.
Molly, huh?
Komp.
Mine, Komp.
Malia Zabeth Komp.
Carolina Urina.
Calorina Urina.
Calorina Urena.
Calorina Urena.
B5-4-fina Urena.
Like, not even close.
I could see you almost, I could almost forgive Carolina Rina.
At least those are the letters that are there.
Is she holding like a handwritten doctor's note of the names?
Did this take place on April 1st by chance?
Todd, move me!
Okay.
Tah-moo-may.
So far so bad.
So it's Thomas University and this man's first name is Thomas.
McGill University.
Harvard University.
The guy's first name is Harvard.
She works at Thomas University.
And how does she pronounce Thomas?
Tah-moo-may.
Tah-moo-may.
Thomas.
Thomas.
So wait, she just bails and then corrects the name and that's the name.
She does say Thomas.
Oh does she say, it sounds like Thomas.
But then she says nothing else.
And she's just like, I quit.
I quit the rest of your name.
Thomas.
Someone said to her, Thomas.
Yes, off mic, yes.
Someone went, Thomas.
Okay, are you kidding McGee new liabri McGeenu!
Megan is... She cannot read!
Like, I swear to God, this is how I would read day two after learning to read.
I'd work my ass off all of yesterday going, M-A-B-K-D-E-F-G-H-E-J.
And then I'd be like, M-A-G-E-N-L-U-I-S-E-A-U-B-E-R-E.
Yeah, it's like day two of reading.
Maybe day five.
Maybe.
Jessica Lynn Bower.
Jessica Lynn Bower.
Jessica.
Jessica.
Keep going.
Did the graphics department also crop out the fucking thing?
Like look at the J's disappeared.
And so is the B in bachelor.
Why is that cropped?
And that's the TV.
You're seeing the edge of the TV, not the edge of our screen.
Right.
But, like, at the end of that, she should have said, like, those are the weirdest names I've ever heard.
I've never heard one of those names before.
Why is it this one day I'm hearing names that I've never heard before?
Who's Jasiku?
Jasiku?
Efuni Batista Santos.
Wow, great job.
Effoundi.
Yes.
Batista Santos is correct.
Effoundi from Stephanie?
Effoundi, Batista, Santos.
Effoundi.
Effooni.
Maybe the ST is cropped on her thing?
Uh, no excuse.
That does not... Effooni... That doesn't... Yeah, maybe her monitor is different?
That doesn't forgive Stefani Rayanuni or whatever.
Alessuna Cole Bishop.
Alessuna Cole Bishop.
Got Bishop.
She's getting better.
So she sees the A, so it's not a cropping thing.
Alice Suna!
She just throws an A in there.
Keep going.
I am, I have a headache.
I think she's over there like doing incantations or something.
Is this, uh, the same one?
I don't know.
I'll see if I can find the real one.
What else does it say in there?
Woman can't pronounce Thomas.
She works at Thomas University.
May 10th.
That's all we have so far.
I'll dig.
I'm from six days ago.
We may have to come back to that.
All right, I think I'm gonna go behind the paywall.
There's too much fun stuff here, and I have a deep-seated resentment against freeloaders.
So, thank you for tuning in.
I guess we'll see you freeloaders on Monday after you get a subscription.
Note that it's about a beer a month.
A beer in Manhattan a month, maybe, with tip.
Two beers at a cheap place a month.
And it's unlimited content.
If you watched everything we put up, you're wasting your time.
That's too much.
You should be out indoors feeling some grass.
Me alone!
I give you like an hour and a half a day, seven days a week.
365 days a year.
And we don't just barf out some stuff like, hey, I saw a video.
We also do presentations, green screens, sketches.
We go out, do streeters.
We do sit-downs, Elijah Schaefer, Andrew Wilson.
Too much to list.
So I'm mad at you for not subscribing.
Just go click on it now.
What's the promo code where you get a bunch, 20% off is it?
That would be Gavin.
Gavin.
Promo code Gavin.
20% off.
So now it's down to eight bucks a month.
So it is a Manhattan beer sans tip.
If you want to watch the rest of this for free, sign up with the monthly plan.
Promo code one month.
Yes.
Oh yeah, we do a promo code where you can get a month for free just to try it.
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It's a wee bit of sanity in a world gone mad.
At any rate, subscribers, stick around.
I got some crazy movies coming out.
And stuff like that.
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