Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S04E53 - SHITTY TITS

Nov. 12, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:34:20

S04E53 - SHITTY TITS

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Good Granddad Gone Wrong 00:05:17
	And we're back.
	The boys are back in town.
	Ryan's back in town.
	The show is back on the level.
	We're ready to rock.
	Welcome back, Ryan Catsu Rivera from your paternity leave.
	Thank you.
	I thought I threw that away.
	You threw me across the room, but I found it.
	You found it?
	I thought you were it.
	Oh, I found me.
	I found me.
	I found it.
	Ryan did.
	Oh, shit, I don't know how that.
	Not the dinosaur.
	I'll have to use a pencil today.
	The reason I gave you paternity leave is because I think it sends a good message to the wife, which is I will be around.
	Unlike my father, who abandoned me.
	That's true.
	He's on FaceTime.
	He's a good granddad so far.
	What?
	He was on FaceTime.
	We faced it.
	No, that's not a good granddad.
	A good granddad flies to New York City.
	He will be in December.
	So, yeah, I said, hey, you know, it's, you know, about this far from the city.
	He's like, okay, that's not so bad.
	We can do it.
	And goes there.
	He probably has some pussy in Manhattan.
	Maybe.
	that he used to fuck and he's just like, I might as well go there, see my grandkid, I get my dick sucked.
	I fuck Masiko.
	Maybe I can cop some domes and see little babies.
	I see the baby for, what, 10 minutes?
	Then I get a good hotel.
	I can tell my wife that I'm going there to see my grandson.
	That could be my Adubar.
	Okay.
	Nothing wrong with that.
	Walking's ass.
	That's pretty cool.
	Yeah, he must be dialed in with all the Japanese pussy, especially like 30, 40 year olds.
	So in LA, it's a small community of Japanese people.
	So they have their own little community within L.A., and it's pretty – What is that little weird habit?
	It slips a little bit.
	Tighten it.
	So he's got a little community.
	I brought a girl there.
	We went to sushi to eat sushi.
	And then next to me was this girl there.
	And we were chatting for a while.
	Her English was terrible.
	Japanese cute.
	And he left.
	He was like, I'll let you leave you alone.
	Yeah, you take Upa side.
	Yeah.
	Just like me.
	And then so he left, and then I'm chilling with her.
	And then she comes over to hang out like a day later, two days later.
	And at the time, it's only my grandmother on my dad's side.
	So my dad's mom.
	And she speaks no English whatsoever.
	So she's in the apartment with me, just me and the girl.
	And Baba, my grandmother, is walking around somewhere.
	She's taking a walk.
	Dad's not home.
	He's working.
	So it's just me and this girl in the apartment.
	And I'm changing my shirt.
	And so I have no shirt on.
	I'm standing up.
	And for some reason, I guess maybe it's very Japanese to like kneel.
	So she's on her knees.
	And I have no shirt on.
	My grandmother walks in.
	And I'm the only one who doesn't speak Japanese.
	So I can't.
	The Japanese girl's the only one who can explain what's going on.
	So they're just talking to each other.
	Yeah, pretty much.
	Just like, I'm kneeling and he's changing and it's terrible.
	And then my dad found out about it.
	My grandmother ratted on me.
	Thanks, Baba.
	She's probably watching right now with Japanese subtitles.
	Like this knitting.
	She makes her own clothes.
	Japanese people are weird, man.
	She makes her own clothes.
	Everything she wears, she makes her own own.
	Including jeans.
	She makes her own jeans.
	own pants.
	They're like a fabric pant, you know, like...
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	That's what they call it in Japan.
	Rough translation.
	So my dad finds out about this.
	He's like, Rayan, Japanese community is very small in LA.
	So everybody's going to know.
	So don't.
	Don't fuck face.
	Don't fuck face here.
	He didn't like that I brought her over there.
	But you never even fucked her.
	No.
	Did you ever make out with her?
	We went to go see some samurai movie with Keanu Reeves or some shit, but we wound up just taking a hike and we didn't fuck now.
	I don't know if Asian girls do.
	She feels very cold.
	It would basically be rape if I came onto her.
	I think that's how they fuck.
	I think a lot of cultures are just rape.
	Yeah.
	Like in Mexico, I think you just go out on a date with a girl and then you just take her home and rape her and you give her some money.
	Like I had a Japanese girlfriend in New York City for a while and I would just rape her.
	Maddie had a lot of Japanese girlfriends too.
	No, he had one.
	Oh.
	Oh.
	Faithful to him.
	And I never said I had a lot.
	But you would just rape them and they were like, oh, okay.
	I don't have the heart to rape.
	I know you told us yesterday to get raped and get, while the thanks for calling theme was playing a lot of times.
	But I don't think I have the heart to rape.
	Did we discuss that Ahmed Arbrey's lawyer is the Bald Eagle lawyer?
	Yes, but we never showed the picture.
	Well, I sent you the pic.
	I saw this at the fucking pub.
	Oh, my lord.
	At the duck.
	He's the guy.
	He's the go-to guy for race hustles.
Sprinkles and Symbol Meanings 00:05:58
	Oh, I got it.
	He's the bird, which is the bald eagle lawyer.
	You know what I is?
	There he is on CNN discussing not the bird, which is the bald eagle, and he has a fucking eagle on his lapel.
	Is that amazing or what?
	The wolf, which is the blitzer.
	By the way, if you're going to get an eagle on your lapel, try to keep it under two inches.
	Jesus.
	What the fuck is that thing?
	An actual size.
	Does it weigh a pound?
	The lapel, which is the bald eagle, is way too fucking big, dude.
	You look ridiculous.
	You look ridiculous.
	Look at that thing.
	It looks like some sort of metal.
	Right.
	What a fucking weirdo he is.
	I bet he's African.
	I bet he's an African aristocrat.
	He's the son of Edi Amin.
	He looks like he's an extra on that show Paw Paw, that Nigerian entertainment television comedy show.
	I heard ESPN put out a documentary called Running with Ahmed.
	They're going with the...
	You know what you do when you go for a jog?
	You go 10 miles from your house, then you put on your Timberland boots, and then you put on no shirt with your ski jacket, your winter coat.
	You'll notice this in the New York Marathon.
	It's what people do.
	Oh, didn't the Rittenhouse guy wear the pin too?
	A Millennium Falcon pin.
	Yeah, no, let me expand on that, Ryan.
	That's Binger.
	We'll get to Rittenhouse.
	We got a fun show today.
	I'm going to start announcing what we're doing.
	We got tons of Rittenhouse stuff.
	We got some fun Microsoft James O'Keefe.
	We got a ton of feminism shit.
	No, not a ton, a little bit.
	We got some, this guy diagnoses women with climate change.
	We have a tiny bit of COVID.
	Biden saying great Negro, a bunch of racism.
	Asians don't exist anymore.
	Hispanics are white.
	And then, of course, the final video.
	My head is pounding right now.
	Very hungover from yesterday.
	Started drinking at 4 and we went to 11.
	It's not really how much you drink, it's the duration.
	And I did seven hours yesterday, which is not great for a 51-year-old.
	Slept until 11 a.m. today.
	All right, let's start the show.
	Should we start the show?
	You ready to begin?
	Yes.
	You guys keep sending me sprinkles that are not sprinkles.
	I don't think you understand the concept.
	It's called fairy dust, right?
	God comes up down from heaven, goes like this, like the space salt guy, and he sprinkles fairy dust on a very select group.
	Maybe 5% of the population.
	Of that 5%, 4% are male, 1% are female.
	So when you see it, you know it.
	It's like seeing a 10.
	You don't see 10s.
	You see a 10.
	It's not a science.
	It's an art.
	But I would say five times a year?
	About once every two months.
	What do you think your baby's going to be at a 10 when she's 18?
	Like 28 at least.
	That'd be funny if you were like, I don't know, 6.1?
	Do you have any more pics of her?
	The little smiling Buddha?
	Not following the what is she out of 10.
	That's fair.
	But no, I got a good one, actually.
	Is Verifanes?
	Are you going to teach her Japanese?
	I don't know Japanese.
	I know how to eat with chopsticks.
	Are you going to teach her that?
	This is her doing the okay symbol.
	Oh, racist earth.
	Well, no, she's doing it over the eye, so it's like Jay-Z or something.
	That's funny.
	My mother wants to knit her a hat.
	And I said, just.
	No, she did.
	What?
	An orange hat.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	What are you talking about?
	She already did.
	My mother already knitted your baby hat.
	Yeah, she gave me one.
	Yeah, it's a little hat.
	It's like it plumes out on top.
	Yeah, yeah, I forgot.
	We got to put that on her.
	It might be a little too big right now.
	Yeah, well, when she asked, she probably forgot.
	She already gave one because she asked me about it.
	I said, just knit a hat for a pencil, and that'll be about right.
	A pencil topper will be good.
	Okay, so here are some sprinkles.
	This is what sprinkles look like, folks.
	This is high-quality comedy.
	This is what it looks like.
	You must have the wrong house.
	Sister.
	Hi, I'm the boyfriend.
	Brought you something.
	You're far away.
	Really?
	Why are you guys looking at each other like that?
	Muchas and music
	What are you doing?
	Here are my presenters here.
	Okay.
	Are these two more in the fuck?
	What is this?
	Let's try the all you out of that right now.
	The only thing I teach about your cousin is his coffee.
	You see how you do it?
	Even the editing, like when he's going, you guys trying to, are you guys going to fuck?
	What is this?
	And then it cuts him off.
	I'm her boyfriend.
	Here are my present this year.
	Okay.
	Try it.
	That was clearly written by someone who doesn't have a sibling.
	That's not how brothers and sisters talk to each other.
	Oh, I found it.
	Oh, yeah, that's what I meant to say that.
	Not only does he have a Star Wars pin in that picture, the Millennial Falcon, Millennium?
Bisexual Pronouns and Targets 00:11:40
	Millennial?
	I think.
	Millennial Falcon.
	Millennium.
	Yeah, Millennial Falcon is like, I'll take a soy latte with my face.
	Dude, he's had a different Star Wars pin on his lapel every day.
	Oh.
	You're at a murder trial.
	Two men are dead, and you're deciding if you ruin someone's life because those two men are dead.
	Stakes is high, as they say in the rap game.
	Don't wear Star Wars pins.
	And then we were like, well, when could you wear a Star Wars pin?
	And we realized never.
	If it's formal enough for a suit, it's too formal for a Star Wars pin.
	Right.
	If you went to Comic-Con with a suit, you're an idiot.
	Right.
	I mean, maybe now, maybe I could.
	I'm doing a comedy news show.
	Right.
	Maybe I could.
	But like the next day, it was the resistance.
	The day after that, it was, I don't know, some Jedi flag.
	He's a Jedi fag.
	Oh, my God.
	Did you notice the trend here?
	Falcon?
	Eagle.
	Hmm.
	Interesting trends.
	And that's how you define a trend by two.
	Yes.
	This has been in my notes for a while now.
	The left says they never.
	Oh, yeah, this was on Bill Maher.
	I've noticed this is a thing.
	They talk about Q, like we're all Q people.
	Ryan and I were discussing Q. There's a giant Q behind us.
	Everything is Q Q Q. That's our mentor.
	It goes like Trump, and then his concigliary is Q, And it all goes, we're all of the soldiers at the bottom of this mafia setup.
	And you are saying you're watching this show, so you know that we don't know who the fuck Q is.
	We don't know how to find Q. We spent like an hour digging him up.
	And even when readers who are Q, readers, viewers, would send us, like, dudes, it's so simple.
	You just go to 8chan and then you search QAnon and then you look up the newsletter.
	And then you, and it was like, no, I'm not doing all that.
	And that sounds really complicated.
	So Q's not a thing.
	There was a bunch of Q people, lunatics, obviously, who congregated in LA because there was going to be a second coming of Christ or something.
	And all these people were coming back from the dead, including JFK.
	Trust the plan.
	Yeah, I heard about that.
	And so the media is covering it like crazy because they like to make us look nuts.
	But those people are very unusual.
	They're like the kind of people who showed up to the Michael Jackson trial on his side defending him.
	It's not a thing.
	Will Summer, that little dwarf with the ugly wife that I attacked at Roger Stone's trial, he's doing a book on QAnon right now.
	So we can all learn about a handful of lunatics.
	It's like doing a book on Charlottesville.
	Yeah.
	Sophia Ankel.
	Good work, Sophia.
	Was JFK Jr. even that cool?
	Or just the fact that he's coming back from the dead is awesome?
	Yeah, I don't know.
	If anybody came back from the dead, it'd be a good idea.
	He was very political, but I think he was a lefty.
	Yeah, that magazine, right?
	George magazine.
	QAnon.
	You're doing a book on QAnon.
	Just the plan.
	What a total and utter waste of time.
	You fucking loser.
	Will Summer, you're a loser.
	Speaking of losers, this is ancient news by now, but Microsoft, I guess this is political correctness for blind people.
	They describe themselves now.
	I'm sorry to drag out.
	This is like three days old, but we've been away and Ryan was indulging himself in his baby time.
	They say, hi, I'm Gavin McInnes.
	I'm male, white male.
	I use the pronouns he, him.
	And I'm wearing a vintage suit from the 50s from Alexander Shields.
	Brooks Brothers tie.
	And I look like Donald Sutherland with AIDS.
	Look at this shit.
	It's like they're trying to outdo the cringe of Facebook.
	Hi, before we start, I'm Tyler.
	I'm a half bisexual.
	What the fuck?
	Half.
	I'm the straight half of bisexual.
	I'm a half bisexual?
	What the fuck?
	So a quarter sexual?
	Are you an amputee?
	What the fuck is a half bisexual?
	I'm a half bisexual.
	When I fuck guys, it's only with the lower half of me.
	I don't touch them.
	It's probably like I'm straight, but I appreciate male beauty or something.
	I'd never fuck them, but I'm like, I can accept that Liam Neeson is an attractive man.
	I guess we're all half bisexual.
	I'm a half-bisexual straight male with a PlayStation t-shirt and blue pants.
	I use he, him pronouns, and you.
	But wait a minute.
	If you're blind, right, you don't identify people by how they look because you've never looked.
	So why would you say blue pants to someone who's never seen blue pants?
	Who are you talking to?
	Who does it help to say I have blue pants on?
	Help me here.
	Okay, thanks for the information.
	I am KO'd, a male.
	You can use he pronouns for me also.
	You know who else uses he, him pronouns?
	50% of the population.
	You know who uses she, her pronouns?
	50% of the population.
	Now, there's a statistical irrelevance there, which is like 100 people.
	And they use like Z, Zer, demonic pronouns, all that shit.
	Just ignore them.
	They don't exist.
	They're statistically irrelevant.
	That's what the left has become.
	Statistically irrelevant.
	If you're half bisexual, you don't exist.
	Oh, you want me not to exist?
	I don't want you.
	You don't exist.
	Just know.
	Oh, you want me to die?
	You need to matter to die.
	You're not a thing.
	Hey, people with weird pronouns.
	You literally don't exist.
	And lots in store for you.
	First, we want to acknowledge that.
	I'm the funny little semi-Asian woman wearing a boring shirt I got from Target.
	I'm the most attractive extra in Apocalypto.
	We want to acknowledge that the land where the Microsoft campus is situated was traditionally occupied by the Sammamish.
	Never heard them.
	The Duwamish.
	Never heard them.
	The Snoqualmie.
	Nope.
	The Suquamish.
	What?
	The Muckle Shoot?
	What?
	The Snoquame.
	They can't just make up tribes.
	I want to acknowledge that Get Off My Lawn is filmed on Muckle Shoot land.
	We're trying to give it back to them because we bought the property and we want the Muckle Shoot to happen again.
	Unfortunately, the Muckle Shoot have not existed for 700 years.
	Muckle Chute?
	Look that up.
	Muckle Shoe?
	What the fuck?
	I thought I knew about tribes.
	I married one.
	I married a ho-chunk.
	What are the muckle chute?
	I think they're like not as good as Gryffindor, but better than Slytherin.
	And definitely the same thing.
	I'll bet you $100.
	No Indians have heard of the Muckle Shoot.
	They wear bandanas.
	Let's try.
	Let's call an Indian right now.
	I'll call my wife.
	Muckle shoot.
	You ready?
	Are they white?
	Oh, muggles, because they're muggles?
	I think it's Emily.
	She's not there.
	Muckle shoot?
	They deserve to have their land stolen for having such a stupid name.
	Also, in the fun little intro news bites, James O'Keefe, who I'm telling you, man, I might even leave my mega dad chat after this one dude said, fuck him.
	He said, fuck that man child.
	He's irrelevant.
	what?
	James O'Keefe?
	And then he says to our dad chat, what has he ever done?
	So every dad is like, just bombards him with examples from Acorn to the New York Times.
	And he's like, yeah, besides that, I don't know.
	What have you ever done?
	Anyway, he's suing the New York Times.
	And one of the things he's suing them for is targeted harassment.
	And there was a map that they put out of conservatives.
	And the map used bullseyes for, I don't know, our location, James's location, all these different headquarters of conservatives.
	Look at the way he's dressed.
	Marxists dress like they're in jail.
	So James points out, he goes, wait a minute, you guys put up these maps of conservatives that have bullseyes on them.
	And at the same time, you complain about maps that show, say, Planned Parenthood places and they have targets on them.
	So you can't have it both ways.
	You can't complain about targets and then make me a target.
	So he confronts the guy that did this.
	And the guy denied that he ever put bullseyes on anyone.
	It's bullshit.
	You were sued for defamation.
	You were the op-ed page for the New York Times.
	You're on video admitting that you made an admission of a false claim.
	We did a very poor job.
	I did.
	See this?
	And I'm ultimately responsible for the journalism that we produce.
	Do you know what this is?
	It's a bullseye.
	I'm getting it.
	Under oath, you denied that this was a target.
	Do you consider this map to be political incitement?
	I just think it's using violent imagery.
	I read those as gun sites.
	Do you consider that to be political incitement?
	Those don't look like gun sites to me.
	What do you consider the symbols on the map in Exhibit 217 to be?
	I don't know what they're meant to represent.
	Do they look like bullseyes?
	No, now that you say that, yeah, I could see that.
	What are bullseyes used for?
	Targeting.
	Target practice.
	With weapons?
	Yeah.
	Do you have any advice for other people being deposed to the New York Times so they don't look like fools?
	James is finally embracing humor.
	Wow.
	And that's a crucial thing.
	To call him a manchild is weird too, because isn't he like the largest human being that ever existed?
	Yeah.
	Well, I wouldn't quite put it that way.
	He's not under the giant, but he's probably 6'4.
	I remember you saying I was at your house and you were like, he couldn't fit in this room.
	If we were eating dinner, he would be outside on the porch and we'd have to shovel food like through the door.
	I was exaggerating.
	He's not quite that large.
	Okay.
	But he's a big boy.
	Yeah, he looks grande.
	He had a great life story.
	I'm going to interview him here in the studio and do a big long sit-down because one of the most interesting things about him is his shitty childhood.
	His dad decided to like turn a barn into their home and it was decrepit.
	So he basically built a house from scratch.
	And James's entire childhood was lifting 2x4s and drywall and soldering electricity and gluing plumbing together.
	What do you call them?
	CVS pipes, QVC pipes.
	PVC.
	PVC pipes.
	That's his whole childhood.
Bad Guy Narratives 00:15:21
	So as people try to destroy him and dismantle everything he's done, he's very used to building back.
	In fact, that stupid barn that his dad built from scratch burned down.
	And they built it again.
	Him, his dad, and his grandfather.
	What a great lesson.
	And I'm the bad guy for having screen-free Mondays.
	This is a hit piece, but they're using...
	That's a good mustache.
	Pretty fucking good.
	We got to get a prosthetics guy.
	So that way, if we want to look old, like the jackass guys, like have old face and go around and so we're going to have someone full-time just sitting here with latex in a call spending eight hours?
	Well, that's my plan to escape from prison.
	Oh, yeah.
	I get prosthetics.
	I become John Kinsman, and then he leaves and I go back to his cell.
	And you have to practice changing.
	Like, practice it, like, try to get your time down.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You know what I mean?
	Best movie ever.
	Russell Crowe 2.5 Miles or something it's called.
	My favorite type of movie is a guy like you and me doing something extraordinary.
	I don't want to see Captain America beat the shit out of a horse.
	I know you can.
	Three days.
	I want to see me beat up a horse.
	It's hard.
	Is this it?
	Next three days?
	Yes, I think.
	I want to do a movie like this where I, because I did an article about the Clinton death count, and it took me like three days of research, and I was scared at the end.
	Wait, play this?
	Smile.
	I like how this is by HD TV News, and it's the least HD 480p fucking HD, where everything is soft definition.
	I got it.
	Pixels are overrated at HD TV.
	Hardly deaf TV.
	Forget that Laura's your wife.
	Look at the evidence.
	I've seen the evidence.
	She's innocent.
	It doesn't matter what we believe.
	Lara is not getting out!
	Max and John.
	So he dresses up like her?
	That would be hilarious.
	Hi.
	And then he ends up loving it there because he just fucks everyone.
	And they go, your time's up, ma'am.
	He's like, oh, I'm going to punch you in the face, bitch.
	You just bought yourself another month.
	Oh, no.
	Oh, fuck.
	What are you going to do about it?
	We joke, but that's happening.
	Like, the tranny, Eric, the Jew, Antifa, who stabbed that guy, is trying to get into a female prison.
	Oh, yeah.
	Ask yourself, can you kill a god?
	Because to do this thing, that's who you have to become.
	And if you can't, don't stop.
	Shit, he's taken under his wing.
	See, look, he's beaten up.
	Because he realizes to figure out how to break out of prison, he has to hang out with criminals.
	You can't just hang out with criminals.
	So, as he's trying to get to know criminals, they suss him out and they beat the shit out of him, but he keeps going.
	So good.
	Of course, that chick is ruined from that hum, hum, hum, a dum, beam, bum, bum, bum.
	Like a big plane on a mountain, on a wrinkle wave, on a sandboard.
	Never sandboard.
	I don't quite remember the words.
	A sandboard, yes.
	A wrinkle wave.
	A sandboard tribe.
	I can make an explosion.
	They were so confident they were going to win that they were already gloating.
	Eric Gloat.
	This is for Hillary.
	That's for Hillary.
	Stay in prison, bitch.
	Yeah.
	I was going to break you out of prison until I saw this.
	I'm so hot.
	the ocean in the motion She acts like I'm jerking off to her.
	And she's a fan.
	This is actors without a director.
	The director would be going, a little smaller, guys.
	A little smaller.
	Calm the fuck down.
	Wrecking balls inside my brain I was screaming loud tonight Can you hear my voice?
	This time it sends our back song At least Asians have no soul, so they can't overact.
	They just programmed her to do that.
	God, they always, like, lefties always just looks just a little off, like gaunt in the face or something.
	They're just vapid.
	Their teeth are too weak.
	It's actors, too.
	Like, Kumia points this out.
	He goes, the way you're a good actor is, I used to know her.
	You just have to have an empty vessel so the director and the writer can pour in whatever little brew they've concocted.
	You can't have a personality.
	That was from Louis C.K. had said that on the show.
	He was like, the best actor is just an empty coffee mug.
	Yeah.
	Who the fuck is that guy with the hat?
	Oh, Jesus.
	Anyway.
	All right, let's start the show for real now.
	We're actually getting down to brass tacks.
	Are you ready, Ryan?
	I'm ready.
	Let's do this.
	Let's do it.
	Rittenhouse.
	We've won, right?
	Can we start celebrating yet?
	Free speech, the Second Amendment, self-defense, MAGA.
	We won.
	Deshante Rittenhouse, if he was black and his victims were MAGA, we wouldn't have a trial.
	But I think that picture sums it up, right?
	Look at those fucking clowns, the prosecution.
	I've just been tuning in, and every time I tune in, the judge is like, what the fuck?
	Stop.
	You're right on the edge.
	Yeah.
	He said.
	He's like, this isn't permitted.
	This has been a law for 40 years.
	He said, you started pissing me off when you chastised Kyle for his silence after.
	Yes.
	Like, he's supposed to go on what?
	A talk radio tour?
	No, you're not.
	Shut your mouth.
	Now, putting him on the stand was crazy.
	Yeah.
	That was like playing blackjack and you're at 16 and you say, hit me.
	Okay.
	But I think they got a four.
	And I said something.
	I whispered him.
	Court, you better get permission.
	This is ridiculous.
	It wasn't excluded, John.
	You know why it was excluded in the first place?
	Because it was propensity evidence.
	That is exactly what 90404 is designed to prevent.
	You're talking about his attitudes.
	His attitude is he wants to shoot people.
	Now, I've admitted that kind of evidence in other trials when it's been appropriate.
	I didn't admit it in this case because to me, what I've heard in this trial, and by the way, Mr. Richards absolutely correctly points out that just hours ago, I said I had heard nothing in this trial to change any of my rulings.
	So why?
	Testimony on.
	Pardon me?
	That was before the king's testimony.
	You knew very well.
	You know what I'm saying?
	See what's going on here?
	That judge has bad adrenaline control.
	He's mad and it's fucking up his speech.
	Yeah, yeah.
	He's trying to, like, let me know.
	He's so mad that he's stuttering.
	Just fucking have a shot, dude.
	Is that a real picture where he's looking at the cookie magazine?
	Yes.
	This guy rules.
	It's also real that his go to 1-7, his ringtone is proud to be an American.
	Sure is.
	Which people are saying is evidence of bias.
	That's the America we're living in today.
	Standing your ground is aggressive, and being proud to be an American is biased.
	Yeah, did he put all those American flags in the court, too?
	Is that his decision?
	the actions that I had talked about were done in bad things.
	Then I think...
	Turning off, though.
	Fucking boomers and their cell phones.
	Yeah.
	Turn off...
	You know what my ringtone is?
	You know what I have on my phone for my ringtone?
	I don't know.
	I've never heard my phone ring ever.
	Ever.
	If it vibrates, I'll feel it on my ass.
	Otherwise, I check my phone occasionally to see if anyone's, and no one calls me.
	People text me.
	That's right.
	You're a boomer of the future.
	Your keys will ring and your wallet will ring.
	Phone?
	Well, you know Shaquille O'Neal.
	You know how you contact him?
	How?
	You send out vibes and he senses that you want to contact him.
	I don't believe it.
	And then he picks up his phone and it rings.
	I saw that in an interview once.
	He just feels it.
	I want to believe that.
	Okay, wait a minute.
	Let me try it.
	Shaquille O'Neal.
	Shaquille O'Neal, I want to talk to you.
	I think you're a big giant idiot who believes in some sort of fifth-dimensional energy that shoots out through the cosmos.
	Can you call me back?
	I'm leaving a fifth-dimension message.
	Oh, he's on Skype.
	Oh.
	Hi, Shaq.
	It worked.
	I apologize.
	He's saying he can't hear us.
	The audio's.
	Hello?
	I can't hear you.
	I can't hear you.
	Who's that guy?
	Maybe this is a tech guy?
	That guy is a deathly serious dude with no sense of humor who talks about music like it's astrophysics.
	Oh, he's using a phone.
	Why couldn't he use his vibes?
	How are you?
	Hey, Shaq.
	How are you?
	They need a new sign.
	You can just reach it and pull it down, Shaq.
	Yeah.
	Do that.
	Pull it down and fix it.
	It sucks.
	The graffiti behind you is better than their sign.
	Shaq gives back, but their sign still sucks.
	All right.
	Clueless Fantano, our favorite guy to shit on these days, Tony Fontano, the toughest name on the weakest person in America.
	I got to admit, it was compelling when Rittenhouse's lawyers argued bringing an illegal weapon, nope, to a protest.
	See, that already pisses me off.
	Proud Boy's gotten shit for this for bringing weapons to Texas.
	We talked about that last night.
	Americans are naive.
	We are naive as a people.
	And we don't understand that when you're going to a riot or even a fucking natural disaster like Katrina, you need to be armed.
	Because when there's no laws and no police and it's a state of total chaos, there's violent assholes that want to hurt you.
	And isn't it funny how they're making it sound nuts that he brought an illegal weapon to a protest when three people tried to kill him?
	Like, if he wasn't armed, he'd be dead.
	What about that part?
	Isn't that relevant?
	Isn't the fact that three people were trying to kill him proof that he was correct to bring a gun?
	What's this guy got going on?
	Is he fat?
	He's fucking weird fat.
	I hate that kind of fat when your head is normal.
	It's weird fat, dude.
	It's sit on your ass all day fat.
	Dog fucker fat.
	That's his wife.
	He's got a Brett Gelman going on.
	Oh.
	Black wife.
	Get out of jail free card.
	You ever seen him with Nardoir?
	What's next?
	Next, once you get a black wife, the next stage is to shit on white women constantly.
	That's all Bill Burr talks about is fucking white women.
	Ah, dude.
	How horrible they are.
	Dude, they're so fucking white, you know?
	Meanwhile, she married him to get away from blackness, and she wants nothing to do with it.
	And he wants her to get back to blackness.
	He's like, can you say Uhuru and shit and fucking grow your hair?
	And she's like, no.
	I like watching The Office.
	And he's like, no, watch The Black Panthers.
	I married a ginger.
	It's you.
	Look at this guy.
	Oh, wait, you already see it.
	He's got the weird long tits.
	Ew.
	Yeah.
	Not only should a man not have tits, but if you are going to have tits, at least have good tits.
	You just got shitty tits.
	Hey, shitty tits.
	Let's call him that from now on.
	Shitty tits.
	That might be the name of today's episode.
	Man, Sam Hyde really did him a favor by not mentioning his body.
	Yeah.
	You took it easy.
	Let me hear some of this interview.
	Good friend Cal.
	Coven, the movie, was produced by someone who's in a film that I love called American Movie, which is kind of where I got the accent that Cal, or where Cal must have gotten.
	Who is Cal for the people that don't know?
	Cal is my roommate who appears in numerous videos.
	And he was basically kind of modeled after a lot of the accents that I was hearing.
	What did I do?
	Which is kind of a great documentary film, sort of funny, very personal about the whole process of making the movie.
	And it's good that you bring that up because a lot of people think Cal's from Canada.
	And that's just not the case.
	I don't know where he's from personally, but I'm pretty sure.
	God, I hate that guy.
	So what was, did we finish this?
	To a protest, anticipating there will be cause for him to use it on his ideological opponents.
	What?
	Anticipating there will be cause.
	See, this is what I want to talk about.
	All these assumptions about Kyle bringing a weapon.
	You know why he brought a weapon?
	Because there's murderers there.
	The three people he shot.
	One of them is a serial domestic abuser who would beat the shit out of his girlfriends.
	That guy's dead, thank God.
	Rosenbaum wasn't just a pedophile.
	This isn't just a Joe Biden sniffer.
	He was a child rapist.
	He fucked underage boys in their assholes.
	Worse than Michael Jackson, Rosenbaum.
	He's dead and a psychotic lunatic who I think spent 10 years in prison.
	And then there was Gage Gershkowitz, who beat the shit out of his mother, got kicked out of the house.
	His grandmother took him in.
	He beat the shit out of her.
	Those are the kind of people, these are not ideological opponents, okay?
	These are psychopaths.
	These are human garbage.
	And he brought a gun because psychopaths will try to kill you, which they did.
	They hit him with the skateboard and then Gage had his fucking six gauge, whatever it's called, and was pointing it about to shoot fucking Kyle dead.
	And the left wants Kyle dead and those other guys to thrive.
Hakeem Jeffries Represents East Brooklyn 00:04:32
	They love miscreants.
	Didn't Rosenbaum just get out of prison for a 15-year stint?
	He had his jailbag on him still.
	Really?
	Yes.
	Well, all night he was like, kill me, motherfucker, kill me.
	Okay.
	He's the N-word.
	Coming up, you rapist dwarf.
	Go to, well, let's just go in order.
	Go to 19.
	This fucking clown who was prosecuting him.
	I feel bad for John Pierce.
	John Pierce was Kyle Rittenhouse's original lawyer.
	He raised $2 million for him.
	I don't know what happened with those two guys.
	I know Kyle Rittenhouse.
	I've spoken to him on the phone, and I know John Pierce.
	No one will tell me exactly what happened, but for whatever reason, he stopped being his lawyer.
	And then these guys get the glory.
	It must suck to watch an incompetent prosecutor be so easily defeated.
	And you were the lawyer.
	It could have been those dudes going like this.
	But fucking Tommy Lee Jones got it.
	But you see what's behind him?
	So behind his right ear, there's Star Wars action figures.
	And behind his left ear is a children's version, a children's book, an illustrated version of Die Hard, the movie.
	That's what's behind his fucking stupid, shitty head.
	This is a perfect case for him, though, not going to lie, because his whole life he's been trying to figure out who shot first.
	Was it Greedo or Han?
	So this is a very similar situation going on.
	Yeah, yeah.
	That's his research.
	Well, if you see here in item number, that's Star Wars 4.
	I guarantee you, he has had a mock trial at his house for who shot first.
	Wow.
	And then for his wife, who's enormous.
	I can see it.
	His wife weighs 420 pounds.
	And she just had liposuction.
	That's not good.
	It didn't work.
	So she weighs that much after?
	Yeah.
	They took out a couple jars of fat.
	Oh, that's it.
	She's still morbidly obese.
	That's his job of the hut fetish.
	He lays on with his bag?
	He lays on with a relief.
	I hate his cheap H ⁇ M fucking blazer shit.
	Yeah.
	He wears the cheapest suits.
	Um...
	Look at...
	No...
	Is there even text on this?
	I don't think there needs to be.
	No.
	My God, you guys.
	Do you think I'm doing a good job?
	For who?
	2-0, we have the state rep for East Brooklyn, whatever you call these people.
	That's the book.
	Yep.
	Go to 2-0.
	So Hakeem Jeffries represents East Brooklyn, which is also known as East New York, which is hell on earth.
	Worse than the South Bronx by a long shot.
	About 90% of the murders in New York City are in East New York.
	It is a fucking war zone.
	If we were to drive around in the day, you'd see nothing because everyone's asleep.
	It comes alive at night and it dies at night.
	There is a murder a day in East New York.
	So Hakeem Jeffries, to represent his constituents, he's anti-prison because every single person in his district is going to prison.
	End mass incarceration.
	Defund the prison industrial complex.
	I'm inclined to agree with you, Hakeem, although I don't agree with your motives.
	And then the same guy a year later, it's cropped, Ryan.
	Lock up Kyle Rittenhouse and throw away the key.
	Why is this a racial thing, by the way?
	If you look at Grindface and Shiz Mabin and Tariq Nasheed, they're obsessed with how Kyle Rittenhouse is racist.
	A white dude shot, a white awesome guy shot three white assholes.
	Sorry, Browns.
	You're not invited to this discussion.
	Yeah, in the comments of Shiz Mabin, he posts, you know, Kyle crying, and people are like, dude, what the fuck?
	He's like, are you not going to march for him if he gets out or whatever?
Public Opinion Divide 00:10:26
	They're like, no, he ain't black.
	We're not going to march for him.
	I was like, I commented, I was like, your whole page is not a unity between black people.
	It's just them killing each other.
	So where's this brotherhood?
	Yeah, that's the weird thing about all these ghetto social media accounts.
	It's just constantly talking about how the cops are assholes and they're racist and they pick on blacks for no reason.
	And then 37 videos of blacks like destroying a Wendy's and having a shootout at a Taco Bell.
	Have you checked your own social media page?
	It's all about the world.
	Okay, let's be honest for a change.
	This is fake.
	You think so?
	Uh, I may, I thought so maybe on the second time, but the first time I was like, I don't know about the...
	I don't know.
	You know what?
	It might be.
	There's a gray area between fake and real.
	I did a movie called Critical Compliance.
	What the fuck was it called?
	Where it was about the future, where we had these future phones, these glasses.
	What was that movie called?
	Anyway, you can look it up.
	We shot a scene where they wanted me to cry because my wife has cancer.
	And my son, my newborn, my youngest boy, had control.
	Creative control.
	He had just had an operation because he had an infection in his inner thigh from a diaper rash that got really bad.
	So we had to go to like an operating room that was the same kind of room where you had to do a heart transplant.
	Like there's surgeons, hands wash, and there's my little tiny baby.
	He must have been maybe a year old.
	And everyone has the hair nets and everything, the shower caps.
	And it was like he might as well be getting a leg transplant.
	It was the same amount of infrastructure.
	So it was harrowing, to say the least.
	And my wife was blubbering.
	I was holding her.
	And all I had to do, because it had just happened, was summon that.
	And I would cry.
	So they said, can you cry on command?
	I go, I'll try.
	And I brought that up.
	And instead of being like, I'm really worried about her, man.
	And have a solitary tear, I was like, and I was like drenched.
	And I could see the cameraman going, what the fuck?
	And like, oh, the PAs were sort of looking at each other going, should we call 911?
	And they couldn't use it.
	It was authentic, but it was totally over the top.
	Authentic isn't always cinematic.
	Exactly.
	Just because you're crying doesn't mean you're acting.
	You're doing a good job.
	And I think that's what might have happened here.
	The lawyer sort of indicated, I can't tell you to cry, but it wouldn't be terrible if you were to cry on the stand.
	And so he said, okay, I'll see what I can do.
	And then he started and it went.
	Yeah.
	Because there's probably a lot of emotions going through this guy's fucking veins.
	He's facing life in prison.
	But I think it was a good move.
	Look at blacks laughing.
	Oh, there we go.
	Is that the shizmobbin dude?
	No.
	No, no, no, no.
	He's a black dude.
	He's a rapper with This group that raps with dipset and stuff.
	So over here, Prop Joe says, He's a 17-year-old kid showing genuine remorse for taking life, and that's a grown man laughing at a child crying.
	He said, Shut the fuck up, weirdo.
	He killed two TO white people.
	Fuck out of here, Weirdo.
	What is he can't spell two?
	What do you mean?
	No, he cannot.
	I think six-year-olds can spell two.
	Yeah.
	It's basically one to ten and A to Z. Those are like the first things you learn, right?
	Yeah, did you see LeBron James was calling him a pussy and saying he's fake crying?
	And LeBron James fake cried when he hurt his leg.
	And LeBron James goes, looks like this guy had too many lemon heads.
	And now everyone's calling LeBron James lemon head.
	But I think he fake cried.
	I think it was real tears, but it just came out just like the example I just gave you.
	But I think it was a good move.
	This is what the defense did.
	They had 15 in blackjack.
	They said hit me, and they got a six.
	It worked.
	Because now the media has these tears.
	Those are wet eyes, yeah.
	Yeah.
	And you know, Americans were obsessed with showed no remorse.
	I was cooking breakfast or lunch or something watching this, and I got, it got me.
	Yeah, well, you're a meathead.
	I got very upset.
	Yeah, you're a moron.
	You get upset playing video games.
	I do not.
	You cry during the interstitials in video games.
	That's not true.
	I skipped the interstitials.
	You're a chick in the game.
	I just want to play.
	I skip the interstitials.
	I'm a real man.
	I'm a real man.
	I just want to be Spider-Man again.
	Jack Pisobic had a good montage of media bias.
	We're reaching example exhaustion.
	We'll be done this in a second.
	But this is a great montage.
	My favorite part of this montage is Sank Uger saying deeply racist.
	He goes, this deeply racist guy, like it's a given.
	Talking about public opinion on the case.
	And it's interesting because it is split.
	I may have to jump forward.
	I want to go back.
	I want to take you back a recredibility.
	Jack Pasovic is kicking ass.
	Rittenhouse is basically what you would have had in a school shooter.
	He's a 17-year-old kid.
	He shouldn't have had a gun.
	He crossed state lines to supposedly protect property.
	No, he was going out to shoot people.
	Kyle Rittenhouse, a vigilante.
	Kyle Rittenhouse, the armed teenage vigilante.
	A 17-year-old vigilante, arguably a domestic terrorist, picked up a rifle, drove to a different state to shoot people.
	I never heard you guys mention state lines before.
	Why are you so worried about state lines?
	Didn't Kasparian since go back on this?
	That was pretty big, yeah.
	Who's deeply racist went with weapons?
	Show that again.
	Go back up to the country.
	Drove to a different state to shoot people.
	Kyle Rittenhouse, a guy who's deeply racist, went with weapons to a Black Lives Matter protest, looking to get in trouble.
	He did.
	He murdered a couple of people.
	Rittenhouse, the 17-year-old kid, just running around, shooting and killing protesters.
	17 years old, picks up a gun, drives one state to another.
	Like Alex Jones is known as eccentric and crazy.
	This is mainstream leftist news.
	Joe Scarborough, who is considered kind of towards the center, isn't he?
	And he's saying, just running around shooting people.
	That's what housewives are tuning into when they do their ironing.
	How is that a mainstream thing to say?
	It's radical leftism.
	Shoot people.
	A 17-year-old boy who drove across state lines with an AR-15 and started shooting people up, including a guy with a skateboard.
	Rittenhouse is a 17-year-old that went with a weapon into the middle of protests and then provoked people and then shot and killed them.
	Kyle Rittenhouse is the enemy.
	A boy from out of state drives up to the state with an AR-15 around his neck, shoots and kills a couple of people, shooting wildly, running around, acting like Rindicop.
	Drove across state lines armed with a rifle to go and shoot people.
	What a dark, dystopian scene where a 17-year-old boy is carrying around a rifle, running around.
	All right, now he saw that.
	Running around.
	He was running around.
	He was running for his life, actually.
	I didn't know.
	I learned that he's a lifeguard.
	He was trained in Stop the Bleed.
	He was working with the firefighters.
	Yeah, he was PR.
	He was, you know what they say, a Boy Scout?
	Yeah.
	He was a Boy Scout.
	Literally a jack of all Boy Scoutish-like trades.
	Anna Kasparian.
	Did you want to see that?
	Yeah.
	I was wrong about that.
	Okay.
	I was wrong about that.
	Okay.
	So I want to correct the record.
	I was, in fact, wrong about that.
	So look, these details matter because if you're going to make an argument that you acted in self-defense, there needs to be some proof that there was an imminent threat.
	Now, what really mattered to me was how all of this unfolded.
	What was the thing that sparked it?
	What started all of it?
	And initially, I was under the assumption that Rittenhouse was the person who was chasing after Joseph Rosenbaum, that that's how it started.
	But I was wrong about that.
	Okay, so I want to correct the record.
	I was, in fact, wrong about that.
	All right.
	Yep.
	Let's jump to 2-5, where Drew Hernandez schools, the retarded Star Wars prosecutor.
	And then we have one more prison rape.
	And a reporter?
	Yes.
	Earlier, you identified yourself as a professional commentator.
	All the above.
	Is it your practice as a journalist to interject your personal opinion into the stories you're reporting on?
	No.
	But you did that here.
	Where?
	On August 25th, a few minutes after these shootings, you posted on Twitter your opinion as to whether the defendant in your mind was right or wrong in doing what he did, correct?
	No, I said apparently at the beginning of that statement.
	What effect does that have?
	It means apparently.
	It doesn't mean that this is 100% my opinion.
	You had already jumped to an apparent conclusion at that moment, right?
	No, that's what it apparently means.
	But that's not what journalists do, right?
	I'll be done.
	Thank you.
	I fucked up.
	And I'm going to stop this.
	That's exactly what just happened there.
	I didn't think about apparently.
	I forgot you said apparently.
	I got to can this line of questions.
Cleaning Room Insights 00:02:26
	It was endless.
	And you know how many times during the middle of his cross-examinations, his various, you know, with the witnesses, that they just went to lunch?
	Like, all right, we're going to go to lunch.
	Yeah, I've never really watched a trial like I watched this.
	I watched every second of it.
	It was fascinating.
	It was great to have on in the background when you clean your office.
	Clean your room?
	Clean your room.
	But yes, there was one point where he was asking him, when Kyle Rittnouse was on the stand, the prosecution kept asking the same kind of question in a loop.
	Like, you don't bring a gun when you do your laundry.
	You don't bring a gun when you go play a video game.
	You don't bring a gun when you're washing the dishes.
	And I was like, are you trying to drive him insane?
	Because you're driving me insane.
	And I've been in these situations too where you're in a fight with your wife or something and you're just like, I'm out.
	And you just walk out the front door.
	What's that sound?
	Is that a vibration?
	Oh, it's someone calling me.
	You see that?
	Did you hear my ringtone?
	No, but I felt it.
	The vibes.
	Is this you coming up here?
	That's the movie.
	Oh, I thought that was you for a second.
	No.
	Punching the dude.
	That's the director, Ben something.
	That looks pretty cool.
	I think he got canceled after this movie because he put me in it.
	And he went into a deep depression.
	He may have actually given up.
	There's me.
	Oh, shit.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It looks like a good fucking movie.
	It is.
	Well, I've never heard you mention this.
	One of my great movies.
	Look, there's me.
	Nice.
	What are you saying in that?
	Let's see what you say.
	Leaving consciousness rather than creating it.
	I don't have time for this.
	Get out of here.
	What are we talking about?
	You're just playing yourself?
	I played a creative director at an ad agency when I was a creative director at an ad agency.
	Give me a pound.
	Let's blow up this rock.
	It's gotta be the worst.
	That's also you.
	It was not a challenge.
	It's like when Courtney Love plays a stupid junkie bitch in a movie.
	All right, final thing.
Bizarre And Racist Conversations 00:15:21
	We talked about this yesterday.
	Stop talking about Bubba.
	Remember this?
	We talked about this last night?
	It's not a thing with Bubba being your roommate and him raping you.
	There's faggots in prison.
	But look at this.
	Kid vicious.
	I have zero sympathy for Kyle Rittenhouse.
	Black and Latino kids have been in prison and killed just for the color of their skin.
	False.
	He killed people.
	That's it.
	And that's the same face Kyle Rittenhouse will make during his first time in the prison shower.
	I think it's based on the 80s, this whole thing.
	We do not participate in Roy Moore pickup lines because we do not make fun of sexual assault, but extra, especially when it's kids.
	Oh, the same woman who said this is against rape jokes.
	Go fuck yourself, you traitorous.
	How do you pronounce that word?
	Traitorous?
	Traitorous rape apologist, this better end you.
	There's no place in America for child rape.
	There's no place in America for traitorous rape enablers.
	You belong in prison, you fucking criminal.
	Russian shill.
	Why does she spell Jim like that?
	Yeah, that's weird.
	Who is Tara Dublin?
	Why is she verified?
	Look her up.
	I want to see who this bitch is.
	Tara Dublin.
	What did you say, Dublin?
	Tara Dublin.
	Tara Dublin Rocks.
	Apparently, that's her name.
	Oh, look at all those F-E-R-R.
	Writer, PDX, adjacent Jersey girl, contributor to The Hill.
	I thought The Hill was right wing.
	It was PDX.
	I think they crossed over the dark side.
	Meaning.
	Oh, mine.
	Look at those different hands.
	Portland, Oregon.
	Brown, white.
	They're all gay.
	What a stupid piece of shit.
	Let's jump over to racism, shall we?
	Let's get a heap and dose.
	Because those hands reminded me of something.
	Hispanics are white.
	I'm a black female.
	What other difference?
	Black woman?
	This is really inconvenient.
	That's crazy!
	I have a dream.
	Oh, Black Betty, bam, bam.
	Oh, Black Betty, bam, bam.
	Black Betty had a child.
	Bam, bam, the damn thing gone wild.
	Ooh.
	Oh.
	Oh, I don't like when people have visible things on the desk.
	Yeah.
	It's distracting, but after a good cup of Dunkin' Donuts coffee, it makes me feel better for whatever kind of crappiness I feel.
	America runs on it.
	That's kind of my beef with Kumia.
	It'll often have guests with their water bottle on the thing.
	Bad luck.
	3-5.
	This has inspired me, that woman's fuck you fingers.
	The variety of them.
	I was actually shocked to see this.
	The distribution of skin color among U.S. Hispanics is white.
	Look at that.
	28% are as white as me.
	Half a percent are black.
	People put the skin chart up with this guy's face.
	And he white.
	He white.
	He's like red white.
	He's like Irish color.
	Yeah, I'm surprised his hair is even curly.
	Remember they tried to cancel Dave Portnoy because he thought he said, I thought that guy was Arab.
	I thought he was like a jihadist when I first saw him.
	Yeah, so did we all.
	That looks like a goat man.
	He looks like an Italian.
	A little bit.
	Looks like Tommy Baggs from my gym.
	A little swarthier than him.
	You know why Tommy Baggs is called Tommy Bags?
	No.
	Because he replenishes ATMs for a living, so he always has bags of money.
	Nice.
	This is, I thought, interesting.
	I think my theory, where I say everyone's basically white, I really mean like Western and American.
	And the only people that are not white are blacks, poor blacks.
	And they have a justified beef with America, with slavery and all that.
	The rest need to shut the fuck up.
	No one minds if Denzel Washington moves next door.
	And Asians are white.
	And I noticed recently, as far as college applicants go, they are white.
	Check out 3-4.
	We stand for change.
	We want to live in a world where good black soccer players can become professionals and make millions of dollars.
	This is the lovely Lauren Chen.
	Students of color, minus Asian.
	Like, they make no bones about it.
	Wow.
	Minus Asian.
	Welcome, Ryan.
	You know, that's funny.
	Because I was filling out a form the other day.
	I had to check out my stuff in the hospital.
	Hispanic wasn't there.
	It was white, Asian, two different types of Native American, black.
	Yeah.
	Two different types of Native American.
	Native Americans were like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	One's actually Native American, one's like Polynesian or like Samoan, whatever the fuck.
	Samoan.
	How many Samoans give birth at your hospital?
	If you're going to have those, you don't have Hispanic.
	Hispanic was not on the form.
	I looked it over like three times.
	I was like, I guess we're white.
	I'm double white.
	So what did you call it?
	I'm Asian and Hispanic.
	I'm white.
	Yeah.
	You're whiter than me.
	I just, I think maybe you're every white race.
	Just mine.
	This is hilarious.
	You're all whites.
	Yep.
	It's all white.
	Nobody worry about me.
	Oh, I thought this was interesting.
	This black dude was talking on Twitter about how he got dumped for being a Trump supporter, and he makes it about race.
	Dude, hey, Adam, I was dumped for being a Trump supporter.
	We all were.
	I once had a friend, a white liberal female, who used to joke with me about woke people post-riots, suddenly sound just like them.
	As we were arguing, she said, well, I listened to black voices, and I said, I'm black.
	Does my voice matter?
	I have nipples.
	I have black nipples, Craig.
	Can you hear them?
	Can you chocolate milk me?
	And he goes on.
	You can see the whole thread.
	It's an interesting thread.
	We used to have conversations.
	This is a person I would spend holidays with her family.
	I talk about another friend from Europe I met while traveling.
	We met multiple times during our travels, blah, blah, blah.
	And then it fell through from there.
	That's not how to use fell through, but go ahead.
	Our friendship was now minimalized into being about my supposed victimhood.
	Yeah, if I were you in that situation, Adam, it would be about black supposed victimhood.
	They've just moved the pawn and the chessboard over one.
	It would still be the same thing.
	I would never deny there's some racist people because it exists, blah, blah, blah.
	So yeah, I thought that was interesting.
	As a black conservative, you think, holy shit, everyone's dumping me because I'm not fulfilling my black role.
	No.
	They are Xing everyone slightly right of center.
	So pull race out of it, dude.
	I told her to go fuck herself.
	Yeah.
	I say that to my kids.
	See, if you're in an argument with someone at your age, don't try to be witty.
	Don't try to outsmart them.
	Just say, go fuck yourself.
	The end.
	By the way, this is trending.
	Speaking of racism, racist Joe Biden is trending.
	Pretty good.
	My opponent wins.
	They're going to put you all back in chains.
	Unless we do something about this, my children are going to grow up in a jungle.
	Well, let's just jump then from racism temporarily to my pet Biden and go to 3-1.
	We have to cover this, of course, where he's talked about a great Negro.
	You know, I've adopted the attitude of the great Negro at the time, pitcher Negro went on to become a great pitcher.
	It's like the shoeshine guy.
	If you're not nice to the shoeshine guy, I don't like it.
	We did show this last night, too.
	And then we juxtaposed that with him telling the Pope that he's the greatest black American pitcher in the world.
	You're the greatest African-American pitcher in the world.
	Go to 3-8.
	Oh, yeah, this is going around.
	And I've heard Kumiya say it, actually.
	I keep mentioning him this show.
	Seth Barron Rules.
	He wants to be interviewed, too.
	He just released a book about New York.
	Oh, great.
	We'll have him on the show.
	In 1930, the MIC was whiter than the state of Maine is today.
	So the idea that any urban planning measure taken was racist against blacks and Puerto Ricans is preposterous.
	Yes, that's true.
	They did build the bridges low on Long Island to keep out city folks.
	They didn't want them coming to visit the beaches on Long Island.
	But there was no blacks in 1930.
	Talk to someone, an old person who grew up in Manhattan.
	In the 50s, Manhattan was completely white.
	It was crime-free, too, coincidentally.
	And this is a friend of Ann Coulter's, I know.
	He's like 70.
	He goes, we would just sleep in Central Park.
	We didn't have air conditioning.
	So we would go and bring sleeping bags and pillows and just lie down on the grass in Central Park.
	The whole city would just sleep there at night.
	Now we have the exonerated five, and you're not allowed to do that anymore.
	You get fucking raped to death.
	So yeah, it was to keep out the poor, not blacks and Puerto Ricans.
	Today, the poor represent blacks and Puerto Ricans.
	Back then, it was just poor.
	Probably Irish and Italian.
	3.9 noticed that the left wants woke back.
	Go down a bit to AOC.
	One dangerous aspect of thinking there's a woke problem is that damn chances of reelection, blah, blah, blah.
	Woke is a term pundits are now using as a derogatory euphemism for civil rights and justice.
	Making up a woke problem results in putting civil and voting rights on the back burner.
	In a year, state legislators are planning out GOP majorities and voter suppression.
	That's dangerous.
	If you're not black and started using woke pejoratively sometime post-2018 or so, or worse, don't know anything about the earlier iteration of the term, I think it's fair to consider it a racial slur.
	Okay, fine.
	See, this is my attitude with all these things.
	You get these allegations and you go, all right, gotcha.
	The worst thing you can do, as we learned from Dave Chappelle's Black Nanette special, is sit there and say, I'm not racist and I'm not transphobic.
	I'm not homophobic.
	Stop apologizing.
	It's boring.
	Just say, okay.
	You want to say woke is racist?
	Fine.
	You want to say this is a white power symbol?
	All right.
	Whatever you want.
	I don't give a shit about your silly beliefs.
	If you want to sit down and have a debate, I'm happy to do that.
	But you know that I will slaughter you.
	It will be embarrassing because your entire ethos is based on made-up facts.
	My belief system is made up on fact facts.
	You see that veiled threat there?
	Doesn't mean I'm going to do anything to you or that anyone else will, but it doesn't mean I won't either.
	So Joel D. Anderson is going to beat me up.
	We'll see about that, Joel.
	What's his story, Joel D. Anderson?
	Does he write for The Hill too?
	I can't believe Antifa is writing for The Hill.
	It's an Antifa newsletter now?
	Tara Dublin.
	It's Slate.
	Host season three of Slow Burn.
	ESPN BuzzFeed News.
	Yeah, he's an idiot.
	He's an affirmative action hire.
	If you're black and incompetent, go write for BuzzFeed.
	They'd love to have you.
	Your baby is racist, Ryan.
	I didn't know that.
	Yep.
	Well, I don't know how you carry it.
	Do you carry it?
	Do you have a baby Bjorn?
	No, not yet.
	Oh, I have a baby carrier that I have not.
	Your baby's so small, it would slip out the leg of a baby Bjorn.
	Yeah, we're going to wait until she could fit.
	You should just keep her in a tea bag.
	We have been.
	You know how to carry around your baby?
	Find a gym sock and just plop her in it.
	And then hold a corner of the gym sock.
	Because it would be too roomy without doing that.
	Yeah, yeah.
	She is small, but she's not decimal.
	I'm not insulting her.
	She's not decimal.
	I don't mind if she's small.
	She's a little girl and Asian.
	Supposed to be small.
	T, it's supposed to be small.
	Yeah.
	The Asian baby.
	Look, we're not going to insult your baby, but we can make jokes about it being small.
	Yeah, she's small.
	I'm not getting offended.
	Sound like you're getting offended.
	No, I promise I wasn't.
	The way you choose to carry your child might be racist.
	Inspiration versus appropriation is a big topic in baby wearing circles with plenty of controversies over the years.
	Can we talk about white appropriation?
	Like, isn't everything visible minorities do in America white appropriation?
	From Beyoncé's hair to driving a car?
	Like, I take one of your things, wearing a baby in a sling, and now I'm like ravaging your culture.
	Shaq's the only one doing something about it, not using a phone and using vibes instead.
	Yeah.
	God bless Shaq.
	But the reason carrying a baby is racist is everything is racist.
	If you go to 4-1, you can see that breeding, simply having a baby is racist.
	I think my partner's reason for suddenly wanting kids might be racist.
	We originally agreed not to have children, but now he's saying our genes are too quote-unquote smart not to pass on.
	Says Rebecca Onion.
	It's irresponsible to have children given the state of the world.
	And then just like Kyle Rittenhouse, they managed to make it racial.
	You're talking about climate change and global population.
	And now whites can't have babies.
	Can blacks have babies?
	Look at that stupid, ugly bitch.
	She looks oniony.
	Yeah.
	It makes me cry.
	I'm glad she's not breeding.
	Several of our friends have had babies and he said that it would be dysgenic for us not to have babies because we're both smart.
	The word smart has to be in quotes.
	Talk about cucked.
	Although it's always scored very high on standardized tests, you just got to get that in there.
	I do not believe they are valid measures of anything.
	Why'd you take the tests then?
	Regularly.
	Why are you regularly taking standardized tests if you don't think they're a valid measure?
Racist Bike Lessons 00:15:17
	I found this conversation bizarre and probably racist.
	Frankly, I thought he was too enlightened to believe such things.
	He's too smart to believe in breeding.
	You're an idiot if you want to have a baby.
	So you're an idiot, Ryan.
	Oh, man.
	But you're not white, so maybe that's good.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	What's the next thing?
	Well, I'm double white.
	Zoom out.
	So they respond to this, and they say, I don't know who they is, but the mainstream left.
	Your boyfriend stated a reason for changing his mind strikes me as A, indeed yes, racist.
	Indeed, a little bit racist.
	Oh, that's nice.
	But idiocracy wasn't about race.
	There was no blacks in the movie at all.
	B, a sign that he's either now come to think about the question differently or that his climate-related reasons for not wanting to reproduce were never the same as yours to begin with.
	Go ahead, dummies.
	Go not breed.
	Was that 4-2?
	Let's do 4-3.
	Pull up 4-3?
	I think that was 4-1.
	So this is 4-2.
	Oh, yes.
	That's our old Josh LaCash.
	The unbearable whiteness of camping.
	You said you loved him, and I talked to him yesterday.
	He says he loves you, too.
	Okay, that's good to know.
	The unbearable whiteness.
	Like, that's a common term.
	People of color have been excluded.
	How are you fucking excluded?
	Camping isn't a thing that's marketed.
	No one benefits from camping.
	There's no corporation that gets 10 cents every Time you camp.
	So it's not advertised.
	It's not like Coca-Cola where Coke wants you to drink Coke.
	Nature doesn't give a shit.
	Actually, they'd rather you didn't pop by.
	laughter laughter laughter So it's the unbearable whiteness of cycling, which, by the way, out up in West Chester, you see hordes of yuppies riding their bikes.
	It's a pet peeve of mine.
	Why are they wearing those stupid shirts?
	I understand if you're a professional and you have a bunch of sponsors, but people in the suburbs wear shirts with fake sponsors on them.
	Could you be more embarrassing?
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	Milk, indie, ballet, hiking, cycling.
	Like, the implication here is that people are being excluded.
	Hey, I want to buy this bicycle.
	I want to go ride it.
	I want to do some long distance cycle.
	Sorry, sir.
	I can't sell you this bicycle.
	We would get looted.
	They would burn this place.
	They'd have a fiery but peaceful protest here if I sold you a bicycle.
	You're bearably not white.
	But yeah, what I was going to say is, in Westchester, you see these like...
	What's this now?
	Ryan's advertising himself.
	This is the unbearable whiteness of wearing a suit.
	I'm so glad your daughter didn't get that nose.
	It's a nice nose.
	What is with that?
	When like a poor person wears a suit for the first time, they do this?
	Like it's a fucking security vest?
	Hey, I'm going to need you to go over there.
	Have you ever held your lapels?
	Never.
	What the fuck is that?
	Remember the guy going to see Aquaman?
	You lost my train of thought now.
	Unbearable whiteness.
	Oh, yeah.
	This is my fifth attempt at explaining this.
	When those 30 dudes go by, 20 of them are black.
	Pro-cycling in the suburbs where they're really ambitious about it is a black thing.
	So the unbearable blackness of cycling in Westchester.
	Holy shit, dude.
	What?
	We went to this nice little town, right?
	And we're driving up this road and they have shirts that say bring color back to cycling or something like that or make cycling more diverse.
	Why?
	And dude, they're fucking in the road.
	Like, they're not single file.
	They sucked at cycling.
	They were in the road, like all on the side of the right part of the road and then a little bit on the left side of the road, oncoming.
	Should have hot.
	I was just trying to get through them.
	Yeah.
	It's hilarious.
	So maybe we should rewrite cycling just so it can be single file.
	Follow the rules.
	Yeah, look at them.
	Man spreading.
	That's exactly what it was like.
	Williams Brothers hoping to inspire diverse cyclists.
	That's good.
	Why?
	Who cares?
	Who cares?
	Who gives a fuck?
	If you want to ride a bicycle, you can ride a bicycle.
	Just don't.
	No one's stopping you from doing anything.
	It's America.
	Go nuts.
	But the one I stole isn't meant for you.
	One day I went to Lidl.
	I went to shoplift in Lidl.
	Then I got caught in Lidl.
	Now I can't go back to Lidl.
	Like I had a Lidl thing on his thing, and I'm singing, of course, African Boy, an African immigrant who was shoplifting there.
	Okay, do we do 4-3 yet?
	Yes.
	Yes.
	All right.
	So last item.
	Second last item.
	Oh, this was fun.
	Hey, white people, it's okay to be ashamed.
	Like white people need any more practice being ashamed.
	Feeling ashamed of shameful things is not bad, she says in Michael Jackson, All Caps.
	It's called being an empathetic and moral human being.
	Shame helps us do better.
	Okay, why don't you give it a whirl then, Ida?
	What are you ashamed of?
	The black crime rates?
	When I visited the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum about the impact of the U.S.'s atomic bomb, as an American, I felt shame.
	You know what I think when I think of Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
	Pride.
	Thank God they ended the war with a bunch of hard-headed nips who were determined to continue this stupid war forever.
	They were goading America into a land invasion, which would have cost tens of thousands of lives.
	And we didn't want to do that.
	So we lit up that island on fire.
	We burned Japan.
	Possibly worse than the two atomic bombs was the flaming cities, the fiery and not peaceful bombings that went on pre-Hiroshima.
	The emperor's response, go fuck yourself.
	What?
	I just lit your whole island on fire.
	Yeah, I'm going to light you on fire, bitch.
	It was like the night in Monty Python when they go, tis butt a scratch.
	So we said, merely a flesh wound.
	They were training little kids.
	Go read Unbroken.
	Luigi Fiorpini.
	No, that's not his name.
	Luis Zamparini.
	Yeah.
	They were training little kids and women to fight with bayonets.
	So we went, all right, so by you training women and children, what you're really saying is I can kill all your men and you're still going to keep fighting.
	All right, I need a boom.
	And here's another thing amazing about that.
	She says it's okay to recognize the sins of our past.
	That's all white people do.
	Even conservatives.
	At Proud Boys meetups, we read that same page from The Death of the West by Pat Buchanan, where he says, yes, we did participate in slavery.
	We did treat blacks as second-class citizens.
	Yes, our behavior, our treatment of the Indians was not what one would expect for people to whom the Sermon on the Mount was divine command.
	He lays all that out first, and then he goes, however, the time for apologies has passed.
	So we can do shame.
	We do it all the time.
	But we also acknowledge through our faults that we were not the worst, But the best.
	We didn't start slavery, we finished it.
	So though we proudly acknowledge our faults, we love ourselves, warts and all, but we're aware of the warts, you stupid fucking cunt, who's trying to.
	She's the one behind the 1619 project where she tries to exaggerate our warts and say we're all warts.
	No.
	No.
	Nowhere do blacks, gays, trannies, all those stupid groups experience more freedom than in America, than in the West.
	So you're welcome, you stupid bitch.
	Also, I noticed in that thread, I can't find it now, but someone was saying, you know, what happened was the emperor tried to surrender.
	And he had a condition, though.
	He said, look, I'll surrender.
	Can I just be the figurehead?
	I won't have any power.
	I just want to be the emperor.
	And we said, fuck you.
	And then we did Nagasaki.
	We did Hiroshima.
	And then he tried to surrender.
	And then we did Nagasaki again because we wanted to see Japanese people die.
	And when I saw that, it was from some black professor.
	I went, okay, that sounds pretty bad.
	That sounds worse than I had expected.
	On August 10th, he tried to surrender, and then we bombed him again.
	So I looked it up.
	Guess when the second bombing was?
	August 9th.
	Of course he tried to surrender.
	He just got both bombs up his ass.
	And what's worse is we said okay.
	So that whole notion that they tried to surrender and then we bombed them is completely false.
	We gave them a bomb.
	They didn't try to surrender.
	We gave them another bomb.
	He said, can I just retain my emperor status and have no authority?
	And we went, okay.
	And we took it.
	Black cycling is going well, by the way.
	Thank God.
	First time riding with road bike and he crashed.
	Black cyclist Manny rides with his best friend.
	He's got to document it.
	He gets his white coat friend and he says, oh, he fell.
	This is his first time riding with those pedals that lock into your feet.
	And he's gloated in the fact that on his first night, very supportive now that he's a black cyclist and racist.
	They need our support.
	Imagine how infantilized you'd feel if people were like trying to get you to ride a bicycle.
	When did you learn to ride a bike?
	Five?
	I just want you to not steal mine.
	Yeah.
	I want you to ride a bike, your own bike.
	I want you to ride a bike.
	And then, you know, he was stopped by a British KKK cop.
	Poor guy.
	Oh my God, that's real.
	Yeah.
	I thought you were joking.
	No.
	So how does it feel to do your first 20 minutes?
	You need socks on your shoes.
	What if there's a highlight to you, like, riding out?
	Right, I'll bring you up.
	Where are you from?
	Why do you get all this gear on your very first ride?
	In general, man, like being out, and I'm feeling that, and I'm alive.
	So, have you seen the views?
	Do you still smell cannabis?
	No, I don't think so.
	Have you went there second ago and you said you smell cannabis?
	Well, he is wearing Rasta colours, so that's actually if that really happened, then I'm on his side.
	Yeah, that's not cool.
	What are you doing?
	You could see everything that's on his person.
	Yeah, he's not hiding a gun now.
	He is literally wearing skin-tight clothing.
	Go to 4-5.
	this our last racism piece you Oh, I love this guy.
	There he is.
	The fuck him with me because I'm a teenager.
	Here, they want white supremacy by ventriloquist effect.
	There is a black mouth moving, but a white idea through the running on the runway of the tongue of a figure who justifies and legitimates the white supremacy.
	First of all, legitimizes.
	Normally, I wouldn't correct that, but if you're going to be racist, you might as well use the proper terminology.
	This is exactly what the extreme political left does when they find a narrative that they can't control.
	A black woman who goes against what is expected of her by being conservative is ignorant.
	All right, let's jump over the mailbag.
	Remember, he was on our network, Michael Eric Dyson, and he said, fucking with me because I'm a teenager with a little bit of gold and a pager.
	And then I pointed out, I never should have been let out the penitentiary.
	And Dyson goes, but that's a different song.
	Okay.
	So it's the same album, straight out of Compton.
	Oh, it's so good.
	He had a lot less attitude after that.
	An N without attitude?
	No, Jesus.
	Wow.
	Way to take my joke.
	Sorry.
	Rip it open.
	Let's turn our eyes together.
	Let me touch it.
	Interstitial 8 motherfucking times.
	These are people that are angry at you, Ryan, last night for playing.
	Thanks for calling on a loop.
	is here.
	And you just fucked up as we did that.
	That's correct.
	And I'm sorry.
	And it will never happen again.
	Please, for the love of God, stop with the Collins.
	They're not funny.
	It's the worst part of the week.
	I love y'all, but suck.
	You suck worse than, spelled wrong.
	My ex's heels, spelled wrong, and sunglasses.
	You're illiterate, Daniel.
	And no, we cannot stop the Collins.
	It's one hour a week of a two-hour show, 2468, right?
	Let's say it's six hours a week.
	So one-sixth of this show is Collins, and we want to get in touch with the baby monsters.
	We want to hear something.
	What if all our calls were like, please stop talking about racism?
	We all hate it.
	We're done.
	We go, okay, I guess we should take it easy on the race.
	Come on, man, Mikey!
	Here's a pic of the George Floyd lawyer you were looking for yesterday.
	He's now representing the families of Astro World.
	Jesus, that guy's getting around.
	And getting good at getting around, if you will.
	Paisley Ty.
	So what's his name?
	Is he Ben Crump?
	Ben Crump, yeah.
	Look him up.
	He's got pictures on bus stops, you know, those bus stop ads.
	Dude, we got to get him on the show and then talk about the bald eagle.
	Oh my God.
	And if we can get him to say, we understand the concept of bald eagles are on the endangered list, but black males are not.
	But it was frustrating watching Felonius Floyd say that because he said the bird witch is.
	Ben, how did you feel when he said the bird witch is instead of just saying the bald eagle?
Ben Crump Appears 00:03:07
	And if we could get him to just go, I don't care what he does, actually.
	Would it be great if he just went, yeah, it was, I mean, we've gone through that many, many times.
	And then we could play the clip.
	We go, here we have your face when he said it.
	There he is, Ben Crump.
	Calling me to get justice for your personal injury, Ben Crump.
	You know what?
	I guarantee if I give him a thousand bucks, he'll come on the show.
	Think so?
	Absolutely.
	He'd come on KKK TV.
	There we go.
	We got his number.
	Napole Crump.
	Fellow conservative dude Biff Lawson sent this to me.
	Good guy.
	Isn't it weird how he's the black lawyer?
	It's hard to believe we're in a country of 331 million people when we have one black lawyer.
	Like he's handling every case.
	It's like we're in a little town in England called Hertfordshire.
	You have Hertfordshire to me today.
	I just want to say that Ryan's intro had me dying with laughter.
	Perfect amount of flair and cringe.
	Hmm.
	Wait, what?
	Cringe.
	See attached for the video, which is the attachment.
	Okay, there's one.
	And we have Kyle Rittenhouse.
	Let me fuck you with my heels on, yeah.
	The bird, which is the bald eagle, crossing state lines.
	We have people here happy about your Jesse Lee Peterson imitation.
	Ah.
	Jesse Lee Deterson.
	Sentient definition.
	Please look it up and stop saying women are sentient beings.
	Okay, let's look up sentient.
	A computer.
	Computer, what does sentient mean?
	As an adjective, sentient is usually defined as having the power of perception by the senses, conscious.
	As a noun, sentient is usually defined as a person or thing that is sentient.
	For more, ask me to give you more definitions for sentient.
	Okay, that doesn't sound like I'm right.
	And I'm pronouncing it wrong.
	Sentient.
	It sounds like you're right, but redundant.
	Responsive or responsive to or conscious of sense impressions.
	So it means sentient.
	Okay, I'll stop saying it.
	You win.
	You won this round.
	Hey guys, the white guy in the Veterans Day, Google Doodle, is missing an arm because he's the only one that actually saw combat.
	He had to bear the brunt of it, if you will.
	I thought that yesterday.
	Everyone else had some sort of bullshit Pete butt plug role in the military.
	I like how Pete Buttplug was put into the political sphere so Trump would say something homophobic, and he didn't.
	He said Alfred E. Newman, but we are all too eager to jump on board and take the bait.
Hyundai Heritage Moment 00:06:34
	Gavin's ideal automobile.
	This is nice, dude.
	This is nice.
	They literally stole your idea.
	This is gorgeous.
	The interior, the...
	Yeah, see, I'm not looking for a fancy brand name like BMW or JAG.
	I'll take a Hyundai.
	That is a fucking beautiful car, sir.
	I would Hyundai for this car.
	Wait a minute.
	That was at 9.54 a.m.
	At 9.02 a.m.
	We have Retro Hyundai Heritage.
	Hey, Gavin and new dad fag.
	Totally different email.
	An hour earlier today.
	I assume 50 people will send you this, but in case I'm wrong, have you seen the Hyundai Heritage car?
	Isn't that weird?
	Well, maybe they had just released.
	I think this was just released because somebody also 10.44 a.m.
	November 10th.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But that came out two days ago.
	Restamont treatment elevates 1980s Hyundai Grander to a new level.
	To follow up the pony from earlier this year, Hyundai reached into its past once again and turned this boxy sedan into a retro fusion.
	Wait, so this is for sale now as a 2021 car?
	I heard this was a concept, but that's awesome if they did, although it probably means it's fucking 40 or 50 grand.
	Yeah.
	Yuck, yuck.
	So that could start a trend.
	The most important thing about that is if there's more demand, there's more supply.
	Yeah, folks, if you're watching this, please buy this car.
	Yes.
	Let's increase the demand.
	We are now promoting Hyundai.
	Okay, last one, it's called Black Savior.
	And it says, have you noticed?
	Similar ads.
	Coincidence?
	Stay has been AIDS this year.
	Kenny Hotz.
	This is Kenny Hatz's...
	...delay spray that's been used by over one million men and it has clinically proven to help you last longer in bed.
	It takes the edge off and senses...
	Just the ad?
	Blah, blah, blah.
	Keep going.
	Wait, this is a full episode?
	hour 22 so what's And why didn't Kenny call me when he was in?
	He doesn't have a crane.
	Okay, now go through the next one.
	Hey, Jen.
	Is your family down for Christmas?
	probably just me this year oh Agnes Come on, it's a tradition.
	I'm right behind him.
	She dies in a heart attack.
	Mommy, Mommy!
	crying
	Give more than I can kill next year.
	Etsy.
	Hey, buddy.
	That was annoying.
	That put me in a bad mood.
	More good news.
	Ooh.
	Electric concept.
	Look at that fucking thing.
	That is attractive.
	Sure is.
	That's fucking Fonzie style.
	Yeah.
	That's all I've been asking for.
	It's electric, though.
	I can take it.
	It's electric.
	I'm not against electric cars.
	That's kind of cool.
	Yeah.
	Look at the plaid.
	Oh, hi.
	Plaid.
	Can you see the plaid trim?
	The bottom?
	It's not plaid.
	That's an orange stripe.
	How about that?
	I can't really see it.
	Enhance.
	Put some tart in there for you.
	Just a checkerboard.
	Alright, let's get to the final video.
	Actually, now that I check all the email, we have a million emails about the Hyundai.
	Okay.
	Final video.
	Final video.
	This one goes out to everyone who works or owns or has access to a pizza place.
	We are in a global crisis right now.
	Climate change is gripping the nation, gripping the planet.
	And this clear-cutting in every major forest in the world in order to satiate our endless need for paper, for cardboard, for specifically pizza boxes.
	And I want you to know if you're watching right now that if you throw out pizza boxes that are not used, if I catch you throwing out perfectly good pizza boxes, we will send one of our intrepid activists to your pizza place in order to publicly shame you on Facebook Live.
	So do not, I repeat, do not throw out cardboard before it's time or you'll face this rat.
	We have one Mother Earth, right?
	We have one Mother Earth.
	You get it, right?
	One Mother Earth.
	One Mother Earth, take care of it.
	I'm going to scratch it on my motherfucking deserts.
	I'm sure you're not.
	I'm having a fucking night.
	I'm going to send this to your fucking manager.
	You're fucking a man.
	I'll get him.
	Yes, don't worry.
	Take your manager.
	Let's go.
	Hey, Justin, Justin.
	We'll make you get your manager.
	Let's go.
	Let's fucking go.
	Justin, let's go.
	I don't care about the title.
	Let's go.
	Mikey.
	I'm sorry about you, Justin.
	You're employing the balls off.
	You're trying to save the climate.
	Don't worry, I'm recording.
	I'm recording this whole fucking time.
	I'm recording Facebook Live.
	Facebook Live, bitch!
	Who cares?
	Gooey!
	Facebook Live!
	Facebook Live, bitch!
	Facebook Live!
	I'm gonna put you on Facebook Live.
	Is that Jesse from fucking Breaking Bad?
	We've went Earth!
	We won't fucking plan it!
	You don't give a shit about it!
	We want fucking Earth!
	Respect it, bitch!
	It houses you!
	It homes you!
	It wants to make sure you're good!
	You don't give a shit!
	No, no words!
	Have a good fucking night, bitch!
	Thank you, Ellie.
	Bitch!
	I like how she's using woman as an insult.
	You're me, bitch.
	That's the show.
	Thank you for coming aboard.
	We're very happy to have Ryan back.
	Everything is back to normal and enhanced.
	We have a new baby in the family, a little Buddha named Daphne.

Chapters

00:00:46 Good Granddad Gone Wrong
00:05:48 Sprinkles and Symbol Meanings
00:11:32 Bisexual Pronouns and Targets
00:22:57 Bad Guy Narratives
00:38:04 Hakeem Jeffries Represents East Brooklyn
00:42:21 Public Opinion Divide
00:52:33 Cleaning Room Insights
00:54:45 Bizarre And Racist Conversations
01:09:51 Racist Bike Lessons
01:24:53 Ben Crump Appears
01:27:45 Hyundai Heritage Moment