Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S04E53 - SHITTY TITS
Aired: 2021-11-12
Duration: 01:34:20


=== Good Granddad Gone Wrong (05:17) ===

[00:00:46]  And we're back.
[00:00:46]  The boys are back in town.
[00:00:48]  Ryan's back in town.
[00:00:49]  The show is back on the level.
[00:00:51]  We're ready to rock.
[00:00:52]  Welcome back, Ryan Catsu Rivera from your paternity leave.
[00:00:57]  Thank you.
[00:00:58]  I thought I threw that away.
[00:01:00]  You threw me across the room, but I found it.
[00:01:03]  You found it?
[00:01:04]  I thought you were it.
[00:01:06]  Oh, I found me.
[00:01:08]  I found me.
[00:01:09]  I found it.
[00:01:10]  Ryan did.
[00:01:11]  Oh, shit, I don't know how that.
[00:01:12]  Not the dinosaur.
[00:01:13]  I'll have to use a pencil today.
[00:01:15]  The reason I gave you paternity leave is because I think it sends a good message to the wife, which is I will be around.
[00:01:22]  Unlike my father, who abandoned me.
[00:01:24]  That's true.
[00:01:25]  He's on FaceTime.
[00:01:27]  He's a good granddad so far.
[00:01:29]  What?
[00:01:30]  He was on FaceTime.
[00:01:31]  We faced it.
[00:01:32]  No, that's not a good granddad.
[00:01:33]  A good granddad flies to New York City.
[00:01:36]  He will be in December.
[00:01:39]  So, yeah, I said, hey, you know, it's, you know, about this far from the city.
[00:01:43]  He's like, okay, that's not so bad.
[00:01:46]  We can do it.
[00:01:48]  And goes there.
[00:01:49]  He probably has some pussy in Manhattan.
[00:01:52]  Maybe.
[00:01:52]  that he used to fuck and he's just like, I might as well go there, see my grandkid, I get my dick sucked.
[00:01:59]  I fuck Masiko.
[00:02:01]  Maybe I can cop some domes and see little babies.
[00:02:06]  I see the baby for, what, 10 minutes?
[00:02:08]  Then I get a good hotel.
[00:02:10]  I can tell my wife that I'm going there to see my grandson.
[00:02:14]  That could be my Adubar.
[00:02:16]  Okay.
[00:02:17]  Nothing wrong with that.
[00:02:18]  Walking's ass.
[00:02:19]  That's pretty cool.
[00:02:22]  Yeah, he must be dialed in with all the Japanese pussy, especially like 30, 40 year olds.
[00:02:27]  So in LA, it's a small community of Japanese people.
[00:02:30]  So they have their own little community within L.A., and it's pretty – What is that little weird habit?
[00:02:39]  It slips a little bit.
[00:02:40]  Tighten it.
[00:02:43]  So he's got a little community.
[00:02:44]  I brought a girl there.
[00:02:46]  We went to sushi to eat sushi.
[00:02:48]  And then next to me was this girl there.
[00:02:50]  And we were chatting for a while.
[00:02:51]  Her English was terrible.
[00:02:52]  Japanese cute.
[00:02:54]  And he left.
[00:02:55]  He was like, I'll let you leave you alone.
[00:02:56]  Yeah, you take Upa side.
[00:02:58]  Yeah.
[00:02:59]  Just like me.
[00:03:01]  And then so he left, and then I'm chilling with her.
[00:03:04]  And then she comes over to hang out like a day later, two days later.
[00:03:09]  And at the time, it's only my grandmother on my dad's side.
[00:03:12]  So my dad's mom.
[00:03:13]  And she speaks no English whatsoever.
[00:03:16]  So she's in the apartment with me, just me and the girl.
[00:03:20]  And Baba, my grandmother, is walking around somewhere.
[00:03:23]  She's taking a walk.
[00:03:24]  Dad's not home.
[00:03:25]  He's working.
[00:03:26]  So it's just me and this girl in the apartment.
[00:03:28]  And I'm changing my shirt.
[00:03:29]  And so I have no shirt on.
[00:03:30]  I'm standing up.
[00:03:31]  And for some reason, I guess maybe it's very Japanese to like kneel.
[00:03:34]  So she's on her knees.
[00:03:35]  And I have no shirt on.
[00:03:37]  My grandmother walks in.
[00:03:40]  And I'm the only one who doesn't speak Japanese.
[00:03:43]  So I can't.
[00:03:45]  The Japanese girl's the only one who can explain what's going on.
[00:03:48]  So they're just talking to each other.
[00:03:50]  Yeah, pretty much.
[00:03:52]  Just like, I'm kneeling and he's changing and it's terrible.
[00:03:56]  And then my dad found out about it.
[00:03:58]  My grandmother ratted on me.
[00:04:00]  Thanks, Baba.
[00:04:02]  She's probably watching right now with Japanese subtitles.
[00:04:05]  Like this knitting.
[00:04:06]  She makes her own clothes.
[00:04:07]  Japanese people are weird, man.
[00:04:09]  She makes her own clothes.
[00:04:10]  Everything she wears, she makes her own own.
[00:04:11]  Including jeans.
[00:04:12]  She makes her own jeans.
[00:04:13]  own pants.
[00:04:14]  They're like a fabric pant, you know, like...
[00:04:18]  Okay.
[00:04:19]  Yeah.
[00:04:19]  That's what they call it in Japan.
[00:04:21]  Rough translation.
[00:04:22]  So my dad finds out about this.
[00:04:24]  He's like, Rayan, Japanese community is very small in LA.
[00:04:29]  So everybody's going to know.
[00:04:30]  So don't.
[00:04:31]  Don't fuck face.
[00:04:32]  Don't fuck face here.
[00:04:34]  He didn't like that I brought her over there.
[00:04:37]  But you never even fucked her.
[00:04:39]  No.
[00:04:39]  Did you ever make out with her?
[00:04:40]  We went to go see some samurai movie with Keanu Reeves or some shit, but we wound up just taking a hike and we didn't fuck now.
[00:04:50]  I don't know if Asian girls do.
[00:04:52]  She feels very cold.
[00:04:54]  It would basically be rape if I came onto her.
[00:04:57]  I think that's how they fuck.
[00:04:58]  I think a lot of cultures are just rape.
[00:05:01]  Yeah.
[00:05:01]  Like in Mexico, I think you just go out on a date with a girl and then you just take her home and rape her and you give her some money.
[00:05:08]  Like I had a Japanese girlfriend in New York City for a while and I would just rape her.
[00:05:12]  Maddie had a lot of Japanese girlfriends too.
[00:05:14]  No, he had one.
[00:05:15]  Oh.
[00:05:16]  Oh.
[00:05:17]  Faithful to him.
[00:05:18]  And I never said I had a lot.
[00:05:19]  But you would just rape them and they were like, oh, okay.
[00:05:23]  I don't have the heart to rape.
[00:05:24]  I know you told us yesterday to get raped and get, while the thanks for calling theme was playing a lot of times.
[00:05:31]  But I don't think I have the heart to rape.
[00:05:33]  Did we discuss that Ahmed Arbrey's lawyer is the Bald Eagle lawyer?
[00:05:37]  Yes, but we never showed the picture.
[00:05:39]  Well, I sent you the pic.
[00:05:40]  I saw this at the fucking pub.
[00:05:42]  Oh, my lord.
[00:05:43]  At the duck.
[00:05:45]  He's the guy.
[00:05:46]  He's the go-to guy for race hustles.

=== Sprinkles and Symbol Meanings (05:58) ===

[00:05:50]  Oh, I got it.
[00:05:51]  He's the bird, which is the bald eagle lawyer.
[00:05:54]  You know what I is?
[00:05:55]  There he is on CNN discussing not the bird, which is the bald eagle, and he has a fucking eagle on his lapel.
[00:06:04]  Is that amazing or what?
[00:06:05]  The wolf, which is the blitzer.
[00:06:09]  By the way, if you're going to get an eagle on your lapel, try to keep it under two inches.
[00:06:13]  Jesus.
[00:06:13]  What the fuck is that thing?
[00:06:15]  An actual size.
[00:06:16]  Does it weigh a pound?
[00:06:19]  The lapel, which is the bald eagle, is way too fucking big, dude.
[00:06:23]  You look ridiculous.
[00:06:24]  You look ridiculous.
[00:06:26]  Look at that thing.
[00:06:28]  It looks like some sort of metal.
[00:06:30]  Right.
[00:06:31]  What a fucking weirdo he is.
[00:06:34]  I bet he's African.
[00:06:35]  I bet he's an African aristocrat.
[00:06:40]  He's the son of Edi Amin.
[00:06:42]  He looks like he's an extra on that show Paw Paw, that Nigerian entertainment television comedy show.
[00:06:48]  I heard ESPN put out a documentary called Running with Ahmed.
[00:06:52]  They're going with the...
[00:06:58]  You know what you do when you go for a jog?
[00:07:00]  You go 10 miles from your house, then you put on your Timberland boots, and then you put on no shirt with your ski jacket, your winter coat.
[00:07:09]  You'll notice this in the New York Marathon.
[00:07:11]  It's what people do.
[00:07:13]  Oh, didn't the Rittenhouse guy wear the pin too?
[00:07:16]  A Millennium Falcon pin.
[00:07:18]  Yeah, no, let me expand on that, Ryan.
[00:07:20]  That's Binger.
[00:07:21]  We'll get to Rittenhouse.
[00:07:22]  We got a fun show today.
[00:07:23]  I'm going to start announcing what we're doing.
[00:07:24]  We got tons of Rittenhouse stuff.
[00:07:26]  We got some fun Microsoft James O'Keefe.
[00:07:29]  We got a ton of feminism shit.
[00:07:31]  No, not a ton, a little bit.
[00:07:34]  We got some, this guy diagnoses women with climate change.
[00:07:38]  We have a tiny bit of COVID.
[00:07:40]  Biden saying great Negro, a bunch of racism.
[00:07:43]  Asians don't exist anymore.
[00:07:45]  Hispanics are white.
[00:07:47]  And then, of course, the final video.
[00:07:50]  My head is pounding right now.
[00:07:53]  Very hungover from yesterday.
[00:07:56]  Started drinking at 4 and we went to 11.
[00:07:59]  It's not really how much you drink, it's the duration.
[00:08:02]  And I did seven hours yesterday, which is not great for a 51-year-old.
[00:08:06]  Slept until 11 a.m. today.
[00:08:10]  All right, let's start the show.
[00:08:11]  Should we start the show?
[00:08:12]  You ready to begin?
[00:08:13]  Yes.
[00:08:15]  You guys keep sending me sprinkles that are not sprinkles.
[00:08:18]  I don't think you understand the concept.
[00:08:20]  It's called fairy dust, right?
[00:08:22]  God comes up down from heaven, goes like this, like the space salt guy, and he sprinkles fairy dust on a very select group.
[00:08:34]  Maybe 5% of the population.
[00:08:37]  Of that 5%, 4% are male, 1% are female.
[00:08:42]  So when you see it, you know it.
[00:08:44]  It's like seeing a 10.
[00:08:45]  You don't see 10s.
[00:08:48]  You see a 10.
[00:08:49]  It's not a science.
[00:08:51]  It's an art.
[00:08:52]  But I would say five times a year?
[00:08:55]  About once every two months.
[00:08:58]  What do you think your baby's going to be at a 10 when she's 18?
[00:09:03]  Like 28 at least.
[00:09:06]  That'd be funny if you were like, I don't know, 6.1?
[00:09:11]  Do you have any more pics of her?
[00:09:14]  The little smiling Buddha?
[00:09:15]  Not following the what is she out of 10.
[00:09:18]  That's fair.
[00:09:18]  But no, I got a good one, actually.
[00:09:20]  Is Verifanes?
[00:09:22]  Are you going to teach her Japanese?
[00:09:25]  I don't know Japanese.
[00:09:27]  I know how to eat with chopsticks.
[00:09:28]  Are you going to teach her that?
[00:09:30]  This is her doing the okay symbol.
[00:09:32]  Oh, racist earth.
[00:09:34]  Well, no, she's doing it over the eye, so it's like Jay-Z or something.
[00:09:38]  That's funny.
[00:09:43]  My mother wants to knit her a hat.
[00:09:46]  And I said, just.
[00:09:47]  No, she did.
[00:09:49]  What?
[00:09:49]  An orange hat.
[00:09:50]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:09:51]  What are you talking about?
[00:09:52]  She already did.
[00:09:54]  My mother already knitted your baby hat.
[00:09:56]  Yeah, she gave me one.
[00:09:57]  Yeah, it's a little hat.
[00:09:58]  It's like it plumes out on top.
[00:10:01]  Yeah, yeah, I forgot.
[00:10:02]  We got to put that on her.
[00:10:04]  It might be a little too big right now.
[00:10:05]  Yeah, well, when she asked, she probably forgot.
[00:10:07]  She already gave one because she asked me about it.
[00:10:09]  I said, just knit a hat for a pencil, and that'll be about right.
[00:10:14]  A pencil topper will be good.
[00:10:17]  Okay, so here are some sprinkles.
[00:10:18]  This is what sprinkles look like, folks.
[00:10:20]  This is high-quality comedy.
[00:10:22]  This is what it looks like.
[00:10:26]  You must have the wrong house.
[00:10:27]  Sister.
[00:10:28]  Hi, I'm the boyfriend.
[00:10:31]  Brought you something.
[00:10:32]  You're far away.
[00:10:33]  Really?
[00:10:34]  Why are you guys looking at each other like that?
[00:10:36]  *Muchas and music*
[00:10:40]  What are you doing?
[00:10:41]  Here are my presenters here.
[00:10:44]  Okay.
[00:10:44]  Are these two more in the fuck?
[00:10:48]  What is this?
[00:10:48]  Let's try the all you out of that right now.
[00:10:50]  The only thing I teach about your cousin is his coffee.
[00:10:54]  You see how you do it?
[00:10:56]  Even the editing, like when he's going, you guys trying to, are you guys going to fuck?
[00:11:00]  What is this?
[00:11:01]  And then it cuts him off.
[00:11:04]  I'm her boyfriend.
[00:11:05]  Here are my present this year.
[00:11:08]  Okay.
[00:11:11]  Try it.
[00:11:15]  That was clearly written by someone who doesn't have a sibling.
[00:11:19]  That's not how brothers and sisters talk to each other.
[00:11:24]  Oh, I found it.
[00:11:26]  Oh, yeah, that's what I meant to say that.
[00:11:28]  Not only does he have a Star Wars pin in that picture, the Millennial Falcon, Millennium?

=== Bisexual Pronouns and Targets (11:40) ===

[00:11:34]  Millennial?
[00:11:35]  I think.
[00:11:35]  Millennial Falcon.
[00:11:36]  Millennium.
[00:11:36]  Yeah, Millennial Falcon is like, I'll take a soy latte with my face.
[00:11:40]  Dude, he's had a different Star Wars pin on his lapel every day.
[00:11:44]  Oh.
[00:11:45]  You're at a murder trial.
[00:11:47]  Two men are dead, and you're deciding if you ruin someone's life because those two men are dead.
[00:11:55]  Stakes is high, as they say in the rap game.
[00:11:58]  Don't wear Star Wars pins.
[00:12:00]  And then we were like, well, when could you wear a Star Wars pin?
[00:12:02]  And we realized never.
[00:12:03]  If it's formal enough for a suit, it's too formal for a Star Wars pin.
[00:12:09]  Right.
[00:12:09]  If you went to Comic-Con with a suit, you're an idiot.
[00:12:11]  Right.
[00:12:12]  I mean, maybe now, maybe I could.
[00:12:14]  I'm doing a comedy news show.
[00:12:16]  Right.
[00:12:16]  Maybe I could.
[00:12:18]  But like the next day, it was the resistance.
[00:12:20]  The day after that, it was, I don't know, some Jedi flag.
[00:12:24]  He's a Jedi fag.
[00:12:26]  Oh, my God.
[00:12:27]  Did you notice the trend here?
[00:12:30]  Falcon?
[00:12:32]  Eagle.
[00:12:33]  Hmm.
[00:12:34]  Interesting trends.
[00:12:35]  And that's how you define a trend by two.
[00:12:38]  Yes.
[00:12:40]  This has been in my notes for a while now.
[00:12:42]  The left says they never.
[00:12:43]  Oh, yeah, this was on Bill Maher.
[00:12:45]  I've noticed this is a thing.
[00:12:47]  They talk about Q, like we're all Q people.
[00:12:50]  Ryan and I were discussing Q. There's a giant Q behind us.
[00:12:54]  Everything is Q Q Q. That's our mentor.
[00:12:56]  It goes like Trump, and then his concigliary is Q, And it all goes, we're all of the soldiers at the bottom of this mafia setup.
[00:13:06]  And you are saying you're watching this show, so you know that we don't know who the fuck Q is.
[00:13:11]  We don't know how to find Q. We spent like an hour digging him up.
[00:13:15]  And even when readers who are Q, readers, viewers, would send us, like, dudes, it's so simple.
[00:13:22]  You just go to 8chan and then you search QAnon and then you look up the newsletter.
[00:13:28]  And then you, and it was like, no, I'm not doing all that.
[00:13:30]  And that sounds really complicated.
[00:13:32]  So Q's not a thing.
[00:13:34]  There was a bunch of Q people, lunatics, obviously, who congregated in LA because there was going to be a second coming of Christ or something.
[00:13:46]  And all these people were coming back from the dead, including JFK.
[00:13:50]  Trust the plan.
[00:13:52]  Yeah, I heard about that.
[00:13:54]  And so the media is covering it like crazy because they like to make us look nuts.
[00:13:59]  But those people are very unusual.
[00:14:01]  They're like the kind of people who showed up to the Michael Jackson trial on his side defending him.
[00:14:08]  It's not a thing.
[00:14:10]  Will Summer, that little dwarf with the ugly wife that I attacked at Roger Stone's trial, he's doing a book on QAnon right now.
[00:14:20]  So we can all learn about a handful of lunatics.
[00:14:26]  It's like doing a book on Charlottesville.
[00:14:30]  Yeah.
[00:14:33]  Sophia Ankel.
[00:14:34]  Good work, Sophia.
[00:14:36]  Was JFK Jr. even that cool?
[00:14:39]  Or just the fact that he's coming back from the dead is awesome?
[00:14:42]  Yeah, I don't know.
[00:14:42]  If anybody came back from the dead, it'd be a good idea.
[00:14:44]  He was very political, but I think he was a lefty.
[00:14:47]  Yeah, that magazine, right?
[00:14:48]  George magazine.
[00:14:53]  QAnon.
[00:14:54]  You're doing a book on QAnon.
[00:14:55]  Just the plan.
[00:14:56]  What a total and utter waste of time.
[00:14:58]  You fucking loser.
[00:15:00]  Will Summer, you're a loser.
[00:15:04]  Speaking of losers, this is ancient news by now, but Microsoft, I guess this is political correctness for blind people.
[00:15:11]  They describe themselves now.
[00:15:13]  I'm sorry to drag out.
[00:15:14]  This is like three days old, but we've been away and Ryan was indulging himself in his baby time.
[00:15:20]  They say, hi, I'm Gavin McInnes.
[00:15:23]  I'm male, white male.
[00:15:24]  I use the pronouns he, him.
[00:15:26]  And I'm wearing a vintage suit from the 50s from Alexander Shields.
[00:15:34]  Brooks Brothers tie.
[00:15:36]  And I look like Donald Sutherland with AIDS.
[00:15:41]  Look at this shit.
[00:15:44]  It's like they're trying to outdo the cringe of Facebook.
[00:15:48]  Hi, before we start, I'm Tyler.
[00:15:50]  I'm a half bisexual.
[00:15:52]  What the fuck?
[00:15:53]  Half.
[00:15:55]  I'm the straight half of bisexual.
[00:15:58]  I'm a half bisexual?
[00:16:01]  What the fuck?
[00:16:03]  So a quarter sexual?
[00:16:04]  Are you an amputee?
[00:16:07]  What the fuck is a half bisexual?
[00:16:10]  I'm a half bisexual.
[00:16:11]  When I fuck guys, it's only with the lower half of me.
[00:16:13]  I don't touch them.
[00:16:14]  It's probably like I'm straight, but I appreciate male beauty or something.
[00:16:17]  I'd never fuck them, but I'm like, I can accept that Liam Neeson is an attractive man.
[00:16:22]  I guess we're all half bisexual.
[00:16:24]  I'm a half-bisexual straight male with a PlayStation t-shirt and blue pants.
[00:16:29]  I use he, him pronouns, and you.
[00:16:31]  But wait a minute.
[00:16:32]  If you're blind, right, you don't identify people by how they look because you've never looked.
[00:16:39]  So why would you say blue pants to someone who's never seen blue pants?
[00:16:43]  Who are you talking to?
[00:16:45]  Who does it help to say I have blue pants on?
[00:16:49]  Help me here.
[00:16:52]  Okay, thanks for the information.
[00:16:53]  I am KO'd, a male.
[00:16:55]  You can use he pronouns for me also.
[00:16:58]  You know who else uses he, him pronouns?
[00:17:00]  50% of the population.
[00:17:02]  You know who uses she, her pronouns?
[00:17:04]  50% of the population.
[00:17:07]  Now, there's a statistical irrelevance there, which is like 100 people.
[00:17:12]  And they use like Z, Zer, demonic pronouns, all that shit.
[00:17:16]  Just ignore them.
[00:17:17]  They don't exist.
[00:17:18]  They're statistically irrelevant.
[00:17:20]  That's what the left has become.
[00:17:22]  Statistically irrelevant.
[00:17:24]  If you're half bisexual, you don't exist.
[00:17:27]  Oh, you want me not to exist?
[00:17:29]  I don't want you.
[00:17:31]  You don't exist.
[00:17:32]  Just know.
[00:17:33]  Oh, you want me to die?
[00:17:35]  You need to matter to die.
[00:17:38]  You're not a thing.
[00:17:40]  Hey, people with weird pronouns.
[00:17:42]  You literally don't exist.
[00:17:46]  And lots in store for you.
[00:17:48]  First, we want to acknowledge that.
[00:17:50]  I'm the funny little semi-Asian woman wearing a boring shirt I got from Target.
[00:17:55]  I'm the most attractive extra in Apocalypto.
[00:17:59]  We want to acknowledge that the land where the Microsoft campus is situated was traditionally occupied by the Sammamish.
[00:18:06]  Never heard them.
[00:18:07]  The Duwamish.
[00:18:07]  Never heard them.
[00:18:08]  The Snoqualmie.
[00:18:09]  Nope.
[00:18:09]  The Suquamish.
[00:18:10]  What?
[00:18:11]  The Muckle Shoot?
[00:18:12]  What?
[00:18:12]  The Snoquame.
[00:18:13]  They can't just make up tribes.
[00:18:15]  I want to acknowledge that Get Off My Lawn is filmed on Muckle Shoot land.
[00:18:20]  We're trying to give it back to them because we bought the property and we want the Muckle Shoot to happen again.
[00:18:25]  Unfortunately, the Muckle Shoot have not existed for 700 years.
[00:18:30]  Muckle Chute?
[00:18:31]  Look that up.
[00:18:33]  Muckle Shoe?
[00:18:34]  What the fuck?
[00:18:35]  I thought I knew about tribes.
[00:18:37]  I married one.
[00:18:38]  I married a ho-chunk.
[00:18:40]  What are the muckle chute?
[00:18:42]  I think they're like not as good as Gryffindor, but better than Slytherin.
[00:18:46]  And definitely the same thing.
[00:18:47]  I'll bet you $100.
[00:18:49]  No Indians have heard of the Muckle Shoot.
[00:18:51]  They wear bandanas.
[00:18:53]  Let's try.
[00:18:55]  Let's call an Indian right now.
[00:18:56]  I'll call my wife.
[00:18:58]  Muckle shoot.
[00:19:00]  You ready?
[00:19:00]  Are they white?
[00:19:04]  Oh, muggles, because they're muggles?
[00:19:06]  I think it's Emily.
[00:19:09]  She's not there.
[00:19:10]  Muckle shoot?
[00:19:14]  They deserve to have their land stolen for having such a stupid name.
[00:19:20]  Also, in the fun little intro news bites, James O'Keefe, who I'm telling you, man, I might even leave my mega dad chat after this one dude said, fuck him.
[00:19:32]  He said, fuck that man child.
[00:19:34]  He's irrelevant.
[00:19:36]  what?
[00:19:37]  James O'Keefe?
[00:19:39]  And then he says to our dad chat, what has he ever done?
[00:19:43]  So every dad is like, just bombards him with examples from Acorn to the New York Times.
[00:19:49]  And he's like, yeah, besides that, I don't know.
[00:19:51]  What have you ever done?
[00:19:53]  Anyway, he's suing the New York Times.
[00:19:57]  And one of the things he's suing them for is targeted harassment.
[00:20:01]  And there was a map that they put out of conservatives.
[00:20:05]  And the map used bullseyes for, I don't know, our location, James's location, all these different headquarters of conservatives.
[00:20:16]  Look at the way he's dressed.
[00:20:18]  Marxists dress like they're in jail.
[00:20:23]  So James points out, he goes, wait a minute, you guys put up these maps of conservatives that have bullseyes on them.
[00:20:30]  And at the same time, you complain about maps that show, say, Planned Parenthood places and they have targets on them.
[00:20:37]  So you can't have it both ways.
[00:20:39]  You can't complain about targets and then make me a target.
[00:20:42]  So he confronts the guy that did this.
[00:20:45]  And the guy denied that he ever put bullseyes on anyone.
[00:20:50]  It's bullshit.
[00:20:51]  You were sued for defamation.
[00:20:52]  You were the op-ed page for the New York Times.
[00:20:55]  You're on video admitting that you made an admission of a false claim.
[00:20:59]  We did a very poor job.
[00:21:02]  I did.
[00:21:05]  See this?
[00:21:05]  And I'm ultimately responsible for the journalism that we produce.
[00:21:08]  Do you know what this is?
[00:21:09]  It's a bullseye.
[00:21:10]  I'm getting it.
[00:21:11]  Under oath, you denied that this was a target.
[00:21:14]  Do you consider this map to be political incitement?
[00:21:16]  I just think it's using violent imagery.
[00:21:19]  I read those as gun sites.
[00:21:21]  Do you consider that to be political incitement?
[00:21:23]  Those don't look like gun sites to me.
[00:21:25]  What do you consider the symbols on the map in Exhibit 217 to be?
[00:21:29]  I don't know what they're meant to represent.
[00:21:31]  Do they look like bullseyes?
[00:21:33]  No, now that you say that, yeah, I could see that.
[00:21:36]  What are bullseyes used for?
[00:21:37]  Targeting.
[00:21:38]  Target practice.
[00:21:40]  With weapons?
[00:21:42]  Yeah.
[00:21:43]  Do you have any advice for other people being deposed to the New York Times so they don't look like fools?
[00:21:50]  James is finally embracing humor.
[00:21:53]  Wow.
[00:21:54]  And that's a crucial thing.
[00:21:56]  To call him a manchild is weird too, because isn't he like the largest human being that ever existed?
[00:22:00]  Yeah.
[00:22:01]  Well, I wouldn't quite put it that way.
[00:22:03]  He's not under the giant, but he's probably 6'4.
[00:22:05]  I remember you saying I was at your house and you were like, he couldn't fit in this room.
[00:22:10]  If we were eating dinner, he would be outside on the porch and we'd have to shovel food like through the door.
[00:22:15]  I was exaggerating.
[00:22:17]  He's not quite that large.
[00:22:18]  Okay.
[00:22:19]  But he's a big boy.
[00:22:20]  Yeah, he looks grande.
[00:22:22]  He had a great life story.
[00:22:24]  I'm going to interview him here in the studio and do a big long sit-down because one of the most interesting things about him is his shitty childhood.
[00:22:30]  His dad decided to like turn a barn into their home and it was decrepit.
[00:22:36]  So he basically built a house from scratch.
[00:22:39]  And James's entire childhood was lifting 2x4s and drywall and soldering electricity and gluing plumbing together.
[00:22:50]  What do you call them?
[00:22:52]  CVS pipes, QVC pipes.
[00:22:54]  PVC.
[00:22:54]  PVC pipes.
[00:22:55]  That's his whole childhood.

=== Bad Guy Narratives (15:21) ===

[00:22:57]  So as people try to destroy him and dismantle everything he's done, he's very used to building back.
[00:23:03]  In fact, that stupid barn that his dad built from scratch burned down.
[00:23:07]  And they built it again.
[00:23:09]  Him, his dad, and his grandfather.
[00:23:11]  What a great lesson.
[00:23:14]  And I'm the bad guy for having screen-free Mondays.
[00:23:18]  This is a hit piece, but they're using...
[00:23:25]  That's a good mustache.
[00:23:26]  Pretty fucking good.
[00:23:27]  We got to get a prosthetics guy.
[00:23:28]  So that way, if we want to look old, like the jackass guys, like have old face and go around and so we're going to have someone full-time just sitting here with latex in a call spending eight hours?
[00:23:40]  Well, that's my plan to escape from prison.
[00:23:42]  Oh, yeah.
[00:23:43]  I get prosthetics.
[00:23:45]  I become John Kinsman, and then he leaves and I go back to his cell.
[00:23:48]  And you have to practice changing.
[00:23:51]  Like, practice it, like, try to get your time down.
[00:23:54]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:23:55]  You know what I mean?
[00:23:56]  Best movie ever.
[00:23:57]  Russell Crowe 2.5 Miles or something it's called.
[00:24:03]  My favorite type of movie is a guy like you and me doing something extraordinary.
[00:24:11]  I don't want to see Captain America beat the shit out of a horse.
[00:24:15]  I know you can.
[00:24:16]  Three days.
[00:24:17]  I want to see me beat up a horse.
[00:24:19]  It's hard.
[00:24:20]  Is this it?
[00:24:21]  Next three days?
[00:24:24]  Yes, I think.
[00:24:28]  I want to do a movie like this where I, because I did an article about the Clinton death count, and it took me like three days of research, and I was scared at the end.
[00:24:38]  Wait, play this?
[00:24:39]  Smile.
[00:24:40]  I like how this is by HD TV News, and it's the least HD 480p fucking HD, where everything is soft definition.
[00:24:52]  I got it.
[00:24:52]  Pixels are overrated at HD TV.
[00:24:58]  Hardly deaf TV.
[00:25:04]  Forget that Laura's your wife.
[00:25:06]  Look at the evidence.
[00:25:08]  I've seen the evidence.
[00:25:10]  She's innocent.
[00:25:11]  It doesn't matter what we believe.
[00:25:13]  Lara is not getting out!
[00:25:14]  Max and John.
[00:25:16]  So he dresses up like her?
[00:25:18]  That would be hilarious.
[00:25:19]  Hi.
[00:25:21]  And then he ends up loving it there because he just fucks everyone.
[00:25:24]  And they go, your time's up, ma'am.
[00:25:26]  He's like, oh, I'm going to punch you in the face, bitch.
[00:25:29]  You just bought yourself another month.
[00:25:31]  Oh, no.
[00:25:31]  Oh, fuck.
[00:25:32]  What are you going to do about it?
[00:25:36]  We joke, but that's happening.
[00:25:37]  Like, the tranny, Eric, the Jew, Antifa, who stabbed that guy, is trying to get into a female prison.
[00:25:43]  Oh, yeah.
[00:25:44]  Ask yourself, can you kill a god?
[00:25:48]  Because to do this thing, that's who you have to become.
[00:25:51]  And if you can't, don't stop.
[00:25:53]  Shit, he's taken under his wing.
[00:25:57]  See, look, he's beaten up.
[00:25:59]  Because he realizes to figure out how to break out of prison, he has to hang out with criminals.
[00:26:03]  You can't just hang out with criminals.
[00:26:05]  So, as he's trying to get to know criminals, they suss him out and they beat the shit out of him, but he keeps going.
[00:26:12]  So good.
[00:26:13]  Of course, that chick is ruined from that hum, hum, hum, a dum, beam, bum, bum, bum.
[00:26:20]  Like a big plane on a mountain, on a wrinkle wave, on a sandboard.
[00:26:28]  Never sandboard.
[00:26:29]  I don't quite remember the words.
[00:26:31]  A sandboard, yes.
[00:26:33]  A wrinkle wave.
[00:26:33]  A sandboard tribe.
[00:26:36]  I can make an explosion.
[00:26:40]  They were so confident they were going to win that they were already gloating.
[00:26:45]  Eric Gloat.
[00:26:48]  This is for Hillary.
[00:26:49]  That's for Hillary.
[00:26:51]  Stay in prison, bitch.
[00:26:53]  Yeah.
[00:26:53]  I was going to break you out of prison until I saw this.
[00:26:56]  I'm so hot.
[00:26:57]  the ocean in the motion She acts like I'm jerking off to her.
[00:27:07]  And she's a fan.
[00:27:13]  This is actors without a director.
[00:27:15]  The director would be going, a little smaller, guys.
[00:27:17]  A little smaller.
[00:27:18]  Calm the fuck down.
[00:27:19]  Wrecking balls inside my brain I was screaming loud tonight Can you hear my voice?
[00:27:26]  This time it sends our back song At least Asians have no soul, so they can't overact.
[00:27:32]  They just programmed her to do that.
[00:27:36]  God, they always, like, lefties always just looks just a little off, like gaunt in the face or something.
[00:27:43]  They're just vapid.
[00:27:44]  Their teeth are too weak.
[00:27:45]  It's actors, too.
[00:27:46]  Like, Kumia points this out.
[00:27:47]  He goes, the way you're a good actor is, I used to know her.
[00:27:52]  You just have to have an empty vessel so the director and the writer can pour in whatever little brew they've concocted.
[00:27:58]  You can't have a personality.
[00:28:00]  That was from Louis C.K. had said that on the show.
[00:28:02]  He was like, the best actor is just an empty coffee mug.
[00:28:07]  Yeah.
[00:28:08]  Who the fuck is that guy with the hat?
[00:28:12]  Oh, Jesus.
[00:28:14]  Anyway.
[00:28:16]  All right, let's start the show for real now.
[00:28:17]  We're actually getting down to brass tacks.
[00:28:19]  Are you ready, Ryan?
[00:28:20]  I'm ready.
[00:28:21]  Let's do this.
[00:28:22]  Let's do it.
[00:28:22]  Rittenhouse.
[00:28:25]  We've won, right?
[00:28:26]  Can we start celebrating yet?
[00:28:29]  Free speech, the Second Amendment, self-defense, MAGA.
[00:28:33]  We won.
[00:28:34]  Deshante Rittenhouse, if he was black and his victims were MAGA, we wouldn't have a trial.
[00:28:39]  But I think that picture sums it up, right?
[00:28:41]  Look at those fucking clowns, the prosecution.
[00:28:44]  I've just been tuning in, and every time I tune in, the judge is like, what the fuck?
[00:28:50]  Stop.
[00:28:51]  You're right on the edge.
[00:28:52]  Yeah.
[00:28:52]  He said.
[00:28:53]  He's like, this isn't permitted.
[00:28:56]  This has been a law for 40 years.
[00:28:58]  He said, you started pissing me off when you chastised Kyle for his silence after.
[00:29:04]  Yes.
[00:29:04]  Like, he's supposed to go on what?
[00:29:06]  A talk radio tour?
[00:29:09]  No, you're not.
[00:29:10]  Shut your mouth.
[00:29:11]  Now, putting him on the stand was crazy.
[00:29:13]  Yeah.
[00:29:15]  That was like playing blackjack and you're at 16 and you say, hit me.
[00:29:19]  Okay.
[00:29:20]  But I think they got a four.
[00:29:22]  And I said something.
[00:29:23]  I whispered him.
[00:29:25]  Court, you better get permission.
[00:29:27]  This is ridiculous.
[00:29:30]  It wasn't excluded, John.
[00:29:31]  You know why it was excluded in the first place?
[00:29:33]  Because it was propensity evidence.
[00:29:36]  That is exactly what 90404 is designed to prevent.
[00:29:41]  You're talking about his attitudes.
[00:29:44]  His attitude is he wants to shoot people.
[00:29:47]  Now, I've admitted that kind of evidence in other trials when it's been appropriate.
[00:29:52]  I didn't admit it in this case because to me, what I've heard in this trial, and by the way, Mr. Richards absolutely correctly points out that just hours ago, I said I had heard nothing in this trial to change any of my rulings.
[00:30:05]  So why?
[00:30:06]  Testimony on.
[00:30:07]  Pardon me?
[00:30:08]  That was before the king's testimony.
[00:30:12]  You knew very well.
[00:30:14]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:30:16]  See what's going on here?
[00:30:17]  That judge has bad adrenaline control.
[00:30:19]  He's mad and it's fucking up his speech.
[00:30:21]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:30:22]  He's trying to, like, let me know.
[00:30:24]  He's so mad that he's stuttering.
[00:30:26]  Just fucking have a shot, dude.
[00:30:30]  Is that a real picture where he's looking at the cookie magazine?
[00:30:33]  Yes.
[00:30:34]  This guy rules.
[00:30:35]  It's also real that his go to 1-7, his ringtone is proud to be an American.
[00:30:41]  Sure is.
[00:30:41]  Which people are saying is evidence of bias.
[00:30:44]  That's the America we're living in today.
[00:30:46]  Standing your ground is aggressive, and being proud to be an American is biased.
[00:30:51]  Yeah, did he put all those American flags in the court, too?
[00:30:53]  Is that his decision?
[00:30:56]  the actions that I had talked about were done in bad things.
[00:31:03]  Then I think...
[00:31:10]  Turning off, though.
[00:31:11]  Fucking boomers and their cell phones.
[00:31:13]  Yeah.
[00:31:13]  Turn off...
[00:31:22]  You know what my ringtone is?
[00:31:23]  You know what I have on my phone for my ringtone?
[00:31:26]  I don't know.
[00:31:27]  I've never heard my phone ring ever.
[00:31:30]  Ever.
[00:31:31]  If it vibrates, I'll feel it on my ass.
[00:31:34]  Otherwise, I check my phone occasionally to see if anyone's, and no one calls me.
[00:31:38]  People text me.
[00:31:39]  That's right.
[00:31:39]  You're a boomer of the future.
[00:31:40]  Your keys will ring and your wallet will ring.
[00:31:44]  Phone?
[00:31:46]  Well, you know Shaquille O'Neal.
[00:31:49]  You know how you contact him?
[00:31:51]  How?
[00:31:52]  You send out vibes and he senses that you want to contact him.
[00:31:57]  I don't believe it.
[00:31:57]  And then he picks up his phone and it rings.
[00:32:02]  I saw that in an interview once.
[00:32:05]  He just feels it.
[00:32:06]  I want to believe that.
[00:32:07]  Okay, wait a minute.
[00:32:08]  Let me try it.
[00:32:09]  Shaquille O'Neal.
[00:32:10]  Shaquille O'Neal, I want to talk to you.
[00:32:12]  I think you're a big giant idiot who believes in some sort of fifth-dimensional energy that shoots out through the cosmos.
[00:32:22]  Can you call me back?
[00:32:24]  I'm leaving a fifth-dimension message.
[00:32:28]  Oh, he's on Skype.
[00:32:30]  Oh.
[00:32:30]  Hi, Shaq.
[00:32:31]  It worked.
[00:32:32]  I apologize.
[00:32:32]  He's saying he can't hear us.
[00:32:33]  The audio's.
[00:32:34]  Hello?
[00:32:35]  I can't hear you.
[00:32:37]  I can't hear you.
[00:32:38]  Who's that guy?
[00:32:40]  Maybe this is a tech guy?
[00:32:42]  That guy is a deathly serious dude with no sense of humor who talks about music like it's astrophysics.
[00:32:51]  Oh, he's using a phone.
[00:32:53]  Why couldn't he use his vibes?
[00:32:55]  How are you?
[00:32:55]  Hey, Shaq.
[00:32:56]  How are you?
[00:33:01]  They need a new sign.
[00:33:04]  You can just reach it and pull it down, Shaq.
[00:33:07]  Yeah.
[00:33:07]  Do that.
[00:33:08]  Pull it down and fix it.
[00:33:09]  It sucks.
[00:33:11]  The graffiti behind you is better than their sign.
[00:33:14]  Shaq gives back, but their sign still sucks.
[00:33:16]  All right.
[00:33:20]  Clueless Fantano, our favorite guy to shit on these days, Tony Fontano, the toughest name on the weakest person in America.
[00:33:30]  I got to admit, it was compelling when Rittenhouse's lawyers argued bringing an illegal weapon, nope, to a protest.
[00:33:38]  See, that already pisses me off.
[00:33:40]  Proud Boy's gotten shit for this for bringing weapons to Texas.
[00:33:43]  We talked about that last night.
[00:33:46]  Americans are naive.
[00:33:47]  We are naive as a people.
[00:33:49]  And we don't understand that when you're going to a riot or even a fucking natural disaster like Katrina, you need to be armed.
[00:34:00]  Because when there's no laws and no police and it's a state of total chaos, there's violent assholes that want to hurt you.
[00:34:08]  And isn't it funny how they're making it sound nuts that he brought an illegal weapon to a protest when three people tried to kill him?
[00:34:18]  Like, if he wasn't armed, he'd be dead.
[00:34:22]  What about that part?
[00:34:23]  Isn't that relevant?
[00:34:24]  Isn't the fact that three people were trying to kill him proof that he was correct to bring a gun?
[00:34:31]  What's this guy got going on?
[00:34:33]  Is he fat?
[00:34:34]  He's fucking weird fat.
[00:34:36]  I hate that kind of fat when your head is normal.
[00:34:38]  It's weird fat, dude.
[00:34:39]  It's sit on your ass all day fat.
[00:34:41]  Dog fucker fat.
[00:34:42]  That's his wife.
[00:34:42]  He's got a Brett Gelman going on.
[00:34:44]  Oh.
[00:34:45]  Black wife.
[00:34:45]  Get out of jail free card.
[00:34:47]  You ever seen him with Nardoir?
[00:34:49]  What's next?
[00:34:49]  Next, once you get a black wife, the next stage is to shit on white women constantly.
[00:34:54]  That's all Bill Burr talks about is fucking white women.
[00:34:57]  Ah, dude.
[00:34:58]  How horrible they are.
[00:34:59]  Dude, they're so fucking white, you know?
[00:35:02]  Meanwhile, she married him to get away from blackness, and she wants nothing to do with it.
[00:35:05]  And he wants her to get back to blackness.
[00:35:08]  He's like, can you say Uhuru and shit and fucking grow your hair?
[00:35:11]  And she's like, no.
[00:35:12]  I like watching The Office.
[00:35:14]  And he's like, no, watch The Black Panthers.
[00:35:16]  I married a ginger.
[00:35:18]  It's you.
[00:35:20]  Look at this guy.
[00:35:21]  Oh, wait, you already see it.
[00:35:24]  He's got the weird long tits.
[00:35:26]  Ew.
[00:35:27]  Yeah.
[00:35:28]  Not only should a man not have tits, but if you are going to have tits, at least have good tits.
[00:35:33]  You just got shitty tits.
[00:35:35]  Hey, shitty tits.
[00:35:36]  Let's call him that from now on.
[00:35:37]  Shitty tits.
[00:35:38]  That might be the name of today's episode.
[00:35:40]  Man, Sam Hyde really did him a favor by not mentioning his body.
[00:35:44]  Yeah.
[00:35:45]  You took it easy.
[00:35:46]  Let me hear some of this interview.
[00:35:48]  Good friend Cal.
[00:35:50]  Coven, the movie, was produced by someone who's in a film that I love called American Movie, which is kind of where I got the accent that Cal, or where Cal must have gotten.
[00:36:05]  Who is Cal for the people that don't know?
[00:36:06]  Cal is my roommate who appears in numerous videos.
[00:36:10]  And he was basically kind of modeled after a lot of the accents that I was hearing.
[00:36:16]  What did I do?
[00:36:16]  Which is kind of a great documentary film, sort of funny, very personal about the whole process of making the movie.
[00:36:24]  And it's good that you bring that up because a lot of people think Cal's from Canada.
[00:36:27]  And that's just not the case.
[00:36:29]  I don't know where he's from personally, but I'm pretty sure.
[00:36:32]  God, I hate that guy.
[00:36:33]  So what was, did we finish this?
[00:36:37]  To a protest, anticipating there will be cause for him to use it on his ideological opponents.
[00:36:42]  What?
[00:36:43]  Anticipating there will be cause.
[00:36:45]  See, this is what I want to talk about.
[00:36:47]  All these assumptions about Kyle bringing a weapon.
[00:36:50]  You know why he brought a weapon?
[00:36:52]  Because there's murderers there.
[00:36:53]  The three people he shot.
[00:36:56]  One of them is a serial domestic abuser who would beat the shit out of his girlfriends.
[00:37:01]  That guy's dead, thank God.
[00:37:03]  Rosenbaum wasn't just a pedophile.
[00:37:06]  This isn't just a Joe Biden sniffer.
[00:37:09]  He was a child rapist.
[00:37:12]  He fucked underage boys in their assholes.
[00:37:17]  Worse than Michael Jackson, Rosenbaum.
[00:37:20]  He's dead and a psychotic lunatic who I think spent 10 years in prison.
[00:37:25]  And then there was Gage Gershkowitz, who beat the shit out of his mother, got kicked out of the house.
[00:37:31]  His grandmother took him in.
[00:37:33]  He beat the shit out of her.
[00:37:35]  Those are the kind of people, these are not ideological opponents, okay?
[00:37:40]  These are psychopaths.
[00:37:42]  These are human garbage.
[00:37:46]  And he brought a gun because psychopaths will try to kill you, which they did.
[00:37:51]  They hit him with the skateboard and then Gage had his fucking six gauge, whatever it's called, and was pointing it about to shoot fucking Kyle dead.
[00:38:03]  And the left wants Kyle dead and those other guys to thrive.

=== Hakeem Jeffries Represents East Brooklyn (04:32) ===

[00:38:08]  They love miscreants.
[00:38:09]  Didn't Rosenbaum just get out of prison for a 15-year stint?
[00:38:13]  He had his jailbag on him still.
[00:38:15]  Really?
[00:38:15]  Yes.
[00:38:16]  Well, all night he was like, kill me, motherfucker, kill me.
[00:38:19]  Okay.
[00:38:19]  He's the N-word.
[00:38:20]  Coming up, you rapist dwarf.
[00:38:28]  Go to, well, let's just go in order.
[00:38:30]  Go to 19.
[00:38:32]  This fucking clown who was prosecuting him.
[00:38:34]  I feel bad for John Pierce.
[00:38:36]  John Pierce was Kyle Rittenhouse's original lawyer.
[00:38:38]  He raised $2 million for him.
[00:38:40]  I don't know what happened with those two guys.
[00:38:42]  I know Kyle Rittenhouse.
[00:38:43]  I've spoken to him on the phone, and I know John Pierce.
[00:38:45]  No one will tell me exactly what happened, but for whatever reason, he stopped being his lawyer.
[00:38:51]  And then these guys get the glory.
[00:38:53]  It must suck to watch an incompetent prosecutor be so easily defeated.
[00:38:58]  And you were the lawyer.
[00:39:00]  It could have been those dudes going like this.
[00:39:04]  But fucking Tommy Lee Jones got it.
[00:39:06]  But you see what's behind him?
[00:39:08]  So behind his right ear, there's Star Wars action figures.
[00:39:14]  And behind his left ear is a children's version, a children's book, an illustrated version of Die Hard, the movie.
[00:39:24]  That's what's behind his fucking stupid, shitty head.
[00:39:29]  This is a perfect case for him, though, not going to lie, because his whole life he's been trying to figure out who shot first.
[00:39:35]  Was it Greedo or Han?
[00:39:37]  So this is a very similar situation going on.
[00:39:40]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:39:41]  That's his research.
[00:39:42]  Well, if you see here in item number, that's Star Wars 4.
[00:39:46]  I guarantee you, he has had a mock trial at his house for who shot first.
[00:39:50]  Wow.
[00:39:51]  And then for his wife, who's enormous.
[00:39:54]  I can see it.
[00:39:55]  His wife weighs 420 pounds.
[00:39:58]  And she just had liposuction.
[00:40:00]  That's not good.
[00:40:00]  It didn't work.
[00:40:01]  So she weighs that much after?
[00:40:03]  Yeah.
[00:40:04]  They took out a couple jars of fat.
[00:40:06]  Oh, that's it.
[00:40:06]  She's still morbidly obese.
[00:40:08]  That's his job of the hut fetish.
[00:40:10]  He lays on with his bag?
[00:40:11]  He lays on with a relief.
[00:40:12]  I hate his cheap H ⁇ M fucking blazer shit.
[00:40:15]  Yeah.
[00:40:17]  He wears the cheapest suits.
[00:40:18]  Um...
[00:40:28]  Look at...
[00:40:31]  No...
[00:40:32]  Is there even text on this?
[00:40:33]  I don't think there needs to be.
[00:40:34]  No.
[00:40:35]  My God, you guys.
[00:40:36]  Do you think I'm doing a good job?
[00:40:38]  For who?
[00:40:43]  2-0, we have the state rep for East Brooklyn, whatever you call these people.
[00:40:48]  That's the book.
[00:40:49]  Yep.
[00:40:53]  Go to 2-0.
[00:40:55]  So Hakeem Jeffries represents East Brooklyn, which is also known as East New York, which is hell on earth.
[00:41:05]  Worse than the South Bronx by a long shot.
[00:41:08]  About 90% of the murders in New York City are in East New York.
[00:41:12]  It is a fucking war zone.
[00:41:15]  If we were to drive around in the day, you'd see nothing because everyone's asleep.
[00:41:18]  It comes alive at night and it dies at night.
[00:41:21]  There is a murder a day in East New York.
[00:41:25]  So Hakeem Jeffries, to represent his constituents, he's anti-prison because every single person in his district is going to prison.
[00:41:34]  End mass incarceration.
[00:41:37]  Defund the prison industrial complex.
[00:41:38]  I'm inclined to agree with you, Hakeem, although I don't agree with your motives.
[00:41:42]  And then the same guy a year later, it's cropped, Ryan.
[00:41:48]  Lock up Kyle Rittenhouse and throw away the key.
[00:41:51]  Why is this a racial thing, by the way?
[00:41:53]  If you look at Grindface and Shiz Mabin and Tariq Nasheed, they're obsessed with how Kyle Rittenhouse is racist.
[00:42:03]  A white dude shot, a white awesome guy shot three white assholes.
[00:42:09]  Sorry, Browns.
[00:42:10]  You're not invited to this discussion.
[00:42:12]  Yeah, in the comments of Shiz Mabin, he posts, you know, Kyle crying, and people are like, dude, what the fuck?
[00:42:19]  He's like, are you not going to march for him if he gets out or whatever?

=== Public Opinion Divide (10:26) ===

[00:42:23]  They're like, no, he ain't black.
[00:42:24]  We're not going to march for him.
[00:42:25]  I was like, I commented, I was like, your whole page is not a unity between black people.
[00:42:33]  It's just them killing each other.
[00:42:34]  So where's this brotherhood?
[00:42:36]  Yeah, that's the weird thing about all these ghetto social media accounts.
[00:42:39]  It's just constantly talking about how the cops are assholes and they're racist and they pick on blacks for no reason.
[00:42:44]  And then 37 videos of blacks like destroying a Wendy's and having a shootout at a Taco Bell.
[00:42:53]  Have you checked your own social media page?
[00:42:56]  It's all about the world.
[00:42:57]  Okay, let's be honest for a change.
[00:42:59]  This is fake.
[00:43:01]  You think so?
[00:43:02]  Uh, I may, I thought so maybe on the second time, but the first time I was like, I don't know about the...
[00:43:09]  I don't know.
[00:43:10]  You know what?
[00:43:10]  It might be.
[00:43:11]  There's a gray area between fake and real.
[00:43:13]  I did a movie called Critical Compliance.
[00:43:18]  What the fuck was it called?
[00:43:19]  Where it was about the future, where we had these future phones, these glasses.
[00:43:23]  What was that movie called?
[00:43:26]  Anyway, you can look it up.
[00:43:27]  We shot a scene where they wanted me to cry because my wife has cancer.
[00:43:31]  And my son, my newborn, my youngest boy, had control.
[00:43:35]  Creative control.
[00:43:37]  He had just had an operation because he had an infection in his inner thigh from a diaper rash that got really bad.
[00:43:44]  So we had to go to like an operating room that was the same kind of room where you had to do a heart transplant.
[00:43:50]  Like there's surgeons, hands wash, and there's my little tiny baby.
[00:43:53]  He must have been maybe a year old.
[00:43:55]  And everyone has the hair nets and everything, the shower caps.
[00:43:58]  And it was like he might as well be getting a leg transplant.
[00:44:01]  It was the same amount of infrastructure.
[00:44:04]  So it was harrowing, to say the least.
[00:44:06]  And my wife was blubbering.
[00:44:08]  I was holding her.
[00:44:09]  And all I had to do, because it had just happened, was summon that.
[00:44:12]  And I would cry.
[00:44:15]  So they said, can you cry on command?
[00:44:17]  I go, I'll try.
[00:44:18]  And I brought that up.
[00:44:19]  And instead of being like, I'm really worried about her, man.
[00:44:24]  And have a solitary tear, I was like, and I was like drenched.
[00:44:32]  And I could see the cameraman going, what the fuck?
[00:44:35]  And like, oh, the PAs were sort of looking at each other going, should we call 911?
[00:44:40]  And they couldn't use it.
[00:44:42]  It was authentic, but it was totally over the top.
[00:44:46]  Authentic isn't always cinematic.
[00:44:48]  Exactly.
[00:44:48]  Just because you're crying doesn't mean you're acting.
[00:44:50]  You're doing a good job.
[00:44:52]  And I think that's what might have happened here.
[00:44:55]  The lawyer sort of indicated, I can't tell you to cry, but it wouldn't be terrible if you were to cry on the stand.
[00:45:02]  And so he said, okay, I'll see what I can do.
[00:45:04]  And then he started and it went.
[00:45:07]  Yeah.
[00:45:07]  Because there's probably a lot of emotions going through this guy's fucking veins.
[00:45:10]  He's facing life in prison.
[00:45:15]  But I think it was a good move.
[00:45:18]  Look at blacks laughing.
[00:45:21]  Oh, there we go.
[00:45:22]  Is that the shizmobbin dude?
[00:45:26]  No.
[00:45:26]  No, no, no, no.
[00:45:28]  He's a black dude.
[00:45:28]  He's a rapper with This group that raps with dipset and stuff.
[00:45:33]  So over here, Prop Joe says, He's a 17-year-old kid showing genuine remorse for taking life, and that's a grown man laughing at a child crying.
[00:45:41]  He said, Shut the fuck up, weirdo.
[00:45:42]  He killed two TO white people.
[00:45:45]  Fuck out of here, Weirdo.
[00:45:46]  What is he can't spell two?
[00:45:47]  What do you mean?
[00:45:48]  No, he cannot.
[00:45:51]  I think six-year-olds can spell two.
[00:45:54]  Yeah.
[00:45:55]  It's basically one to ten and A to Z. Those are like the first things you learn, right?
[00:46:02]  Yeah, did you see LeBron James was calling him a pussy and saying he's fake crying?
[00:46:06]  And LeBron James fake cried when he hurt his leg.
[00:46:10]  And LeBron James goes, looks like this guy had too many lemon heads.
[00:46:14]  And now everyone's calling LeBron James lemon head.
[00:46:17]  But I think he fake cried.
[00:46:19]  I think it was real tears, but it just came out just like the example I just gave you.
[00:46:23]  But I think it was a good move.
[00:46:26]  This is what the defense did.
[00:46:29]  They had 15 in blackjack.
[00:46:31]  They said hit me, and they got a six.
[00:46:34]  It worked.
[00:46:36]  Because now the media has these tears.
[00:46:38]  Those are wet eyes, yeah.
[00:46:40]  Yeah.
[00:46:41]  And you know, Americans were obsessed with showed no remorse.
[00:46:47]  I was cooking breakfast or lunch or something watching this, and I got, it got me.
[00:46:52]  Yeah, well, you're a meathead.
[00:46:53]  I got very upset.
[00:46:54]  Yeah, you're a moron.
[00:46:55]  You get upset playing video games.
[00:46:57]  I do not.
[00:46:57]  You cry during the interstitials in video games.
[00:47:00]  That's not true.
[00:47:01]  I skipped the interstitials.
[00:47:02]  You're a chick in the game.
[00:47:03]  I just want to play.
[00:47:03]  I skip the interstitials.
[00:47:05]  I'm a real man.
[00:47:06]  I'm a real man.
[00:47:07]  I just want to be Spider-Man again.
[00:47:10]  Jack Pisobic had a good montage of media bias.
[00:47:13]  We're reaching example exhaustion.
[00:47:16]  We'll be done this in a second.
[00:47:18]  But this is a great montage.
[00:47:19]  My favorite part of this montage is Sank Uger saying deeply racist.
[00:47:25]  He goes, this deeply racist guy, like it's a given.
[00:47:29]  Talking about public opinion on the case.
[00:47:32]  And it's interesting because it is split.
[00:47:34]  I may have to jump forward.
[00:47:35]  I want to go back.
[00:47:36]  I want to take you back a recredibility.
[00:47:38]  Jack Pasovic is kicking ass.
[00:47:42]  Rittenhouse is basically what you would have had in a school shooter.
[00:47:46]  He's a 17-year-old kid.
[00:47:47]  He shouldn't have had a gun.
[00:47:48]  He crossed state lines to supposedly protect property.
[00:47:51]  No, he was going out to shoot people.
[00:47:53]  Kyle Rittenhouse, a vigilante.
[00:47:55]  Kyle Rittenhouse, the armed teenage vigilante.
[00:47:57]  A 17-year-old vigilante, arguably a domestic terrorist, picked up a rifle, drove to a different state to shoot people.
[00:48:05]  I never heard you guys mention state lines before.
[00:48:07]  Why are you so worried about state lines?
[00:48:10]  Didn't Kasparian since go back on this?
[00:48:13]  That was pretty big, yeah.
[00:48:14]  Who's deeply racist went with weapons?
[00:48:17]  Show that again.
[00:48:18]  Go back up to the country.
[00:48:20]  Drove to a different state to shoot people.
[00:48:21]  Kyle Rittenhouse, a guy who's deeply racist, went with weapons to a Black Lives Matter protest, looking to get in trouble.
[00:48:29]  He did.
[00:48:30]  He murdered a couple of people.
[00:48:31]  Rittenhouse, the 17-year-old kid, just running around, shooting and killing protesters.
[00:48:38]  17 years old, picks up a gun, drives one state to another.
[00:48:43]  Like Alex Jones is known as eccentric and crazy.
[00:48:46]  This is mainstream leftist news.
[00:48:48]  Joe Scarborough, who is considered kind of towards the center, isn't he?
[00:48:52]  And he's saying, just running around shooting people.
[00:48:55]  That's what housewives are tuning into when they do their ironing.
[00:49:00]  How is that a mainstream thing to say?
[00:49:02]  It's radical leftism.
[00:49:08]  Shoot people.
[00:49:09]  A 17-year-old boy who drove across state lines with an AR-15 and started shooting people up, including a guy with a skateboard.
[00:49:22]  Rittenhouse is a 17-year-old that went with a weapon into the middle of protests and then provoked people and then shot and killed them.
[00:49:30]  Kyle Rittenhouse is the enemy.
[00:49:32]  A boy from out of state drives up to the state with an AR-15 around his neck, shoots and kills a couple of people, shooting wildly, running around, acting like Rindicop.
[00:49:46]  Drove across state lines armed with a rifle to go and shoot people.
[00:49:52]  What a dark, dystopian scene where a 17-year-old boy is carrying around a rifle, running around.
[00:50:04]  All right, now he saw that.
[00:50:06]  Running around.
[00:50:07]  He was running around.
[00:50:08]  He was running for his life, actually.
[00:50:11]  I didn't know.
[00:50:11]  I learned that he's a lifeguard.
[00:50:14]  He was trained in Stop the Bleed.
[00:50:16]  He was working with the firefighters.
[00:50:17]  Yeah, he was PR.
[00:50:19]  He was, you know what they say, a Boy Scout?
[00:50:21]  Yeah.
[00:50:22]  He was a Boy Scout.
[00:50:23]  Literally a jack of all Boy Scoutish-like trades.
[00:50:26]  Anna Kasparian.
[00:50:28]  Did you want to see that?
[00:50:29]  Yeah.
[00:50:30]  I was wrong about that.
[00:50:31]  Okay.
[00:50:32]  I was wrong about that.
[00:50:33]  Okay.
[00:50:33]  So I want to correct the record.
[00:50:35]  I was, in fact, wrong about that.
[00:50:37]  So look, these details matter because if you're going to make an argument that you acted in self-defense, there needs to be some proof that there was an imminent threat.
[00:50:48]  Now, what really mattered to me was how all of this unfolded.
[00:50:52]  What was the thing that sparked it?
[00:50:54]  What started all of it?
[00:50:55]  And initially, I was under the assumption that Rittenhouse was the person who was chasing after Joseph Rosenbaum, that that's how it started.
[00:51:06]  But I was wrong about that.
[00:51:07]  Okay, so I want to correct the record.
[00:51:09]  I was, in fact, wrong about that.
[00:51:11]  All right.
[00:51:11]  Yep.
[00:51:12]  Let's jump to 2-5, where Drew Hernandez schools, the retarded Star Wars prosecutor.
[00:51:20]  And then we have one more prison rape.
[00:51:24]  And a reporter?
[00:51:25]  Yes.
[00:51:25]  Earlier, you identified yourself as a professional commentator.
[00:51:30]  All the above.
[00:51:33]  Is it your practice as a journalist to interject your personal opinion into the stories you're reporting on?
[00:51:40]  No.
[00:51:41]  But you did that here.
[00:51:43]  Where?
[00:51:44]  On August 25th, a few minutes after these shootings, you posted on Twitter your opinion as to whether the defendant in your mind was right or wrong in doing what he did, correct?
[00:51:56]  No, I said apparently at the beginning of that statement.
[00:52:00]  What effect does that have?
[00:52:02]  It means apparently.
[00:52:04]  It doesn't mean that this is 100% my opinion.
[00:52:09]  You had already jumped to an apparent conclusion at that moment, right?
[00:52:14]  No, that's what it apparently means.
[00:52:15]  But that's not what journalists do, right?
[00:52:21]  I'll be done.
[00:52:22]  Thank you.
[00:52:23]  I fucked up.
[00:52:24]  And I'm going to stop this.
[00:52:26]  That's exactly what just happened there.
[00:52:28]  I didn't think about apparently.
[00:52:29]  I forgot you said apparently.
[00:52:31]  I got to can this line of questions.

=== Cleaning Room Insights (02:26) ===

[00:52:33]  It was endless.
[00:52:34]  And you know how many times during the middle of his cross-examinations, his various, you know, with the witnesses, that they just went to lunch?
[00:52:43]  Like, all right, we're going to go to lunch.
[00:52:45]  Yeah, I've never really watched a trial like I watched this.
[00:52:48]  I watched every second of it.
[00:52:49]  It was fascinating.
[00:52:50]  It was great to have on in the background when you clean your office.
[00:52:53]  Clean your room?
[00:52:54]  Clean your room.
[00:52:56]  But yes, there was one point where he was asking him, when Kyle Rittnouse was on the stand, the prosecution kept asking the same kind of question in a loop.
[00:53:05]  Like, you don't bring a gun when you do your laundry.
[00:53:08]  You don't bring a gun when you go play a video game.
[00:53:10]  You don't bring a gun when you're washing the dishes.
[00:53:13]  And I was like, are you trying to drive him insane?
[00:53:15]  Because you're driving me insane.
[00:53:18]  And I've been in these situations too where you're in a fight with your wife or something and you're just like, I'm out.
[00:53:24]  And you just walk out the front door.
[00:53:27]  What's that sound?
[00:53:29]  Is that a vibration?
[00:53:31]  Oh, it's someone calling me.
[00:53:35]  You see that?
[00:53:35]  Did you hear my ringtone?
[00:53:36]  No, but I felt it.
[00:53:38]  The vibes.
[00:53:40]  Is this you coming up here?
[00:53:42]  That's the movie.
[00:53:43]  Oh, I thought that was you for a second.
[00:53:45]  No.
[00:53:45]  Punching the dude.
[00:53:47]  That's the director, Ben something.
[00:53:49]  That looks pretty cool.
[00:53:49]  I think he got canceled after this movie because he put me in it.
[00:53:53]  And he went into a deep depression.
[00:53:56]  He may have actually given up.
[00:53:57]  There's me.
[00:53:58]  Oh, shit.
[00:53:58]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:53:59]  It looks like a good fucking movie.
[00:54:02]  It is.
[00:54:03]  Well, I've never heard you mention this.
[00:54:08]  One of my great movies.
[00:54:09]  Look, there's me.
[00:54:10]  Nice.
[00:54:11]  What are you saying in that?
[00:54:12]  Let's see what you say.
[00:54:14]  Leaving consciousness rather than creating it.
[00:54:17]  I don't have time for this.
[00:54:19]  Get out of here.
[00:54:19]  What are we talking about?
[00:54:20]  You're just playing yourself?
[00:54:24]  I played a creative director at an ad agency when I was a creative director at an ad agency.
[00:54:30]  Give me a pound.
[00:54:31]  Let's blow up this rock.
[00:54:32]  It's gotta be the worst.
[00:54:34]  That's also you.
[00:54:37]  It was not a challenge.
[00:54:39]  It's like when Courtney Love plays a stupid junkie bitch in a movie.
[00:54:44]  All right, final thing.

=== Bizarre And Racist Conversations (15:21) ===

[00:54:45]  We talked about this yesterday.
[00:54:46]  Stop talking about Bubba.
[00:54:48]  Remember this?
[00:54:48]  We talked about this last night?
[00:54:50]  It's not a thing with Bubba being your roommate and him raping you.
[00:54:53]  There's faggots in prison.
[00:54:56]  But look at this.
[00:54:56]  Kid vicious.
[00:54:57]  I have zero sympathy for Kyle Rittenhouse.
[00:55:00]  Black and Latino kids have been in prison and killed just for the color of their skin.
[00:55:03]  False.
[00:55:04]  He killed people.
[00:55:06]  That's it.
[00:55:07]  And that's the same face Kyle Rittenhouse will make during his first time in the prison shower.
[00:55:14]  I think it's based on the 80s, this whole thing.
[00:55:17]  We do not participate in Roy Moore pickup lines because we do not make fun of sexual assault, but extra, especially when it's kids.
[00:55:22]  Oh, the same woman who said this is against rape jokes.
[00:55:28]  Go fuck yourself, you traitorous.
[00:55:31]  How do you pronounce that word?
[00:55:32]  Traitorous?
[00:55:33]  Traitorous rape apologist, this better end you.
[00:55:38]  There's no place in America for child rape.
[00:55:40]  There's no place in America for traitorous rape enablers.
[00:55:43]  You belong in prison, you fucking criminal.
[00:55:45]  Russian shill.
[00:55:47]  Why does she spell Jim like that?
[00:55:50]  Yeah, that's weird.
[00:55:52]  Who is Tara Dublin?
[00:55:54]  Why is she verified?
[00:55:56]  Look her up.
[00:55:57]  I want to see who this bitch is.
[00:55:58]  Tara Dublin.
[00:56:00]  What did you say, Dublin?
[00:56:01]  Tara Dublin.
[00:56:03]  Tara Dublin Rocks.
[00:56:05]  Apparently, that's her name.
[00:56:06]  Oh, look at all those F-E-R-R.
[00:56:08]  Writer, PDX, adjacent Jersey girl, contributor to The Hill.
[00:56:12]  I thought The Hill was right wing.
[00:56:14]  It was PDX.
[00:56:15]  I think they crossed over the dark side.
[00:56:17]  Meaning.
[00:56:18]  Oh, mine.
[00:56:19]  Look at those different hands.
[00:56:20]  Portland, Oregon.
[00:56:22]  Brown, white.
[00:56:23]  They're all gay.
[00:56:25]  What a stupid piece of shit.
[00:56:27]  Let's jump over to racism, shall we?
[00:56:31]  Let's get a heap and dose.
[00:56:35]  Because those hands reminded me of something.
[00:56:37]  Hispanics are white.
[00:56:39]  I'm a black female.
[00:56:41]  What other difference?
[00:56:45]  Black woman?
[00:56:47]  This is really inconvenient.
[00:56:48]  That's crazy!
[00:56:50]  I have a dream.
[00:56:53]  Oh, Black Betty, bam, bam.
[00:56:55]  Oh, Black Betty, bam, bam.
[00:56:57]  Black Betty had a child.
[00:56:59]  Bam, bam, the damn thing gone wild.
[00:57:00]  Ooh.
[00:57:01]  Oh.
[00:57:03]  Oh, I don't like when people have visible things on the desk.
[00:57:11]  Yeah.
[00:57:12]  It's distracting, but after a good cup of Dunkin' Donuts coffee, it makes me feel better for whatever kind of crappiness I feel.
[00:57:21]  America runs on it.
[00:57:22]  That's kind of my beef with Kumia.
[00:57:24]  It'll often have guests with their water bottle on the thing.
[00:57:28]  Bad luck.
[00:57:31]  3-5.
[00:57:32]  This has inspired me, that woman's fuck you fingers.
[00:57:36]  The variety of them.
[00:57:41]  I was actually shocked to see this.
[00:57:43]  The distribution of skin color among U.S. Hispanics is white.
[00:57:50]  Look at that.
[00:57:50]  28% are as white as me.
[00:58:01]  Half a percent are black.
[00:58:02]  People put the skin chart up with this guy's face.
[00:58:08]  And he white.
[00:58:10]  He white.
[00:58:11]  He's like red white.
[00:58:13]  He's like Irish color.
[00:58:14]  Yeah, I'm surprised his hair is even curly.
[00:58:16]  Remember they tried to cancel Dave Portnoy because he thought he said, I thought that guy was Arab.
[00:58:21]  I thought he was like a jihadist when I first saw him.
[00:58:24]  Yeah, so did we all.
[00:58:26]  That looks like a goat man.
[00:58:30]  He looks like an Italian.
[00:58:32]  A little bit.
[00:58:32]  Looks like Tommy Baggs from my gym.
[00:58:34]  A little swarthier than him.
[00:58:35]  You know why Tommy Baggs is called Tommy Bags?
[00:58:38]  No.
[00:58:38]  Because he replenishes ATMs for a living, so he always has bags of money.
[00:58:42]  Nice.
[00:58:46]  This is, I thought, interesting.
[00:58:48]  I think my theory, where I say everyone's basically white, I really mean like Western and American.
[00:58:54]  And the only people that are not white are blacks, poor blacks.
[00:59:00]  And they have a justified beef with America, with slavery and all that.
[00:59:04]  The rest need to shut the fuck up.
[00:59:06]  No one minds if Denzel Washington moves next door.
[00:59:09]  And Asians are white.
[00:59:11]  And I noticed recently, as far as college applicants go, they are white.
[00:59:17]  Check out 3-4.
[00:59:20]  We stand for change.
[00:59:22]  We want to live in a world where good black soccer players can become professionals and make millions of dollars.
[00:59:29]  This is the lovely Lauren Chen.
[00:59:32]  Students of color, minus Asian.
[00:59:35]  Like, they make no bones about it.
[00:59:37]  Wow.
[00:59:38]  Minus Asian.
[00:59:39]  Welcome, Ryan.
[00:59:41]  You know, that's funny.
[00:59:42]  Because I was filling out a form the other day.
[00:59:44]  I had to check out my stuff in the hospital.
[00:59:46]  Hispanic wasn't there.
[00:59:48]  It was white, Asian, two different types of Native American, black.
[00:59:53]  Yeah.
[00:59:54]  Two different types of Native American.
[00:59:56]  Native Americans were like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:59:57]  One's actually Native American, one's like Polynesian or like Samoan, whatever the fuck.
[01:00:01]  Samoan.
[01:00:02]  How many Samoans give birth at your hospital?
[01:00:05]  If you're going to have those, you don't have Hispanic.
[01:00:07]  Hispanic was not on the form.
[01:00:09]  I looked it over like three times.
[01:00:10]  I was like, I guess we're white.
[01:00:14]  I'm double white.
[01:00:15]  So what did you call it?
[01:00:16]  I'm Asian and Hispanic.
[01:00:17]  I'm white.
[01:00:18]  Yeah.
[01:00:19]  You're whiter than me.
[01:00:20]  I just, I think maybe you're every white race.
[01:00:23]  Just mine.
[01:00:25]  This is hilarious.
[01:00:26]  You're all whites.
[01:00:27]  Yep.
[01:00:28]  It's all white.
[01:00:30]  Nobody worry about me.
[01:00:33]  Oh, I thought this was interesting.
[01:00:35]  This black dude was talking on Twitter about how he got dumped for being a Trump supporter, and he makes it about race.
[01:00:40]  Dude, hey, Adam, I was dumped for being a Trump supporter.
[01:00:44]  We all were.
[01:00:45]  I once had a friend, a white liberal female, who used to joke with me about woke people post-riots, suddenly sound just like them.
[01:00:51]  As we were arguing, she said, well, I listened to black voices, and I said, I'm black.
[01:00:54]  Does my voice matter?
[01:00:55]  I have nipples.
[01:00:57]  I have black nipples, Craig.
[01:00:59]  Can you hear them?
[01:01:00]  Can you chocolate milk me?
[01:01:04]  And he goes on.
[01:01:04]  You can see the whole thread.
[01:01:05]  It's an interesting thread.
[01:01:07]  We used to have conversations.
[01:01:08]  This is a person I would spend holidays with her family.
[01:01:11]  I talk about another friend from Europe I met while traveling.
[01:01:14]  We met multiple times during our travels, blah, blah, blah.
[01:01:16]  And then it fell through from there.
[01:01:20]  That's not how to use fell through, but go ahead.
[01:01:23]  Our friendship was now minimalized into being about my supposed victimhood.
[01:01:27]  Yeah, if I were you in that situation, Adam, it would be about black supposed victimhood.
[01:01:34]  They've just moved the pawn and the chessboard over one.
[01:01:37]  It would still be the same thing.
[01:01:40]  I would never deny there's some racist people because it exists, blah, blah, blah.
[01:01:43]  So yeah, I thought that was interesting.
[01:01:44]  As a black conservative, you think, holy shit, everyone's dumping me because I'm not fulfilling my black role.
[01:01:50]  No.
[01:01:51]  They are Xing everyone slightly right of center.
[01:01:56]  So pull race out of it, dude.
[01:01:57]  I told her to go fuck herself.
[01:01:59]  Yeah.
[01:02:00]  I say that to my kids.
[01:02:01]  See, if you're in an argument with someone at your age, don't try to be witty.
[01:02:07]  Don't try to outsmart them.
[01:02:08]  Just say, go fuck yourself.
[01:02:11]  The end.
[01:02:12]  By the way, this is trending.
[01:02:14]  Speaking of racism, racist Joe Biden is trending.
[01:02:18]  Pretty good.
[01:02:18]  My opponent wins.
[01:02:19]  They're going to put you all back in chains.
[01:02:20]  Unless we do something about this, my children are going to grow up in a jungle.
[01:02:23]  Well, let's just jump then from racism temporarily to my pet Biden and go to 3-1.
[01:02:32]  We have to cover this, of course, where he's talked about a great Negro.
[01:02:42]  You know, I've adopted the attitude of the great Negro at the time, pitcher Negro went on to become a great pitcher.
[01:02:53]  It's like the shoeshine guy.
[01:02:55]  If you're not nice to the shoeshine guy, I don't like it.
[01:02:57]  We did show this last night, too.
[01:02:59]  And then we juxtaposed that with him telling the Pope that he's the greatest black American pitcher in the world.
[01:03:07]  You're the greatest African-American pitcher in the world.
[01:03:10]  Go to 3-8.
[01:03:13]  Oh, yeah, this is going around.
[01:03:15]  And I've heard Kumiya say it, actually.
[01:03:16]  I keep mentioning him this show.
[01:03:17]  Seth Barron Rules.
[01:03:18]  He wants to be interviewed, too.
[01:03:19]  He just released a book about New York.
[01:03:21]  Oh, great.
[01:03:21]  We'll have him on the show.
[01:03:22]  In 1930, the MIC was whiter than the state of Maine is today.
[01:03:25]  So the idea that any urban planning measure taken was racist against blacks and Puerto Ricans is preposterous.
[01:03:30]  Yes, that's true.
[01:03:32]  They did build the bridges low on Long Island to keep out city folks.
[01:03:37]  They didn't want them coming to visit the beaches on Long Island.
[01:03:41]  But there was no blacks in 1930.
[01:03:44]  Talk to someone, an old person who grew up in Manhattan.
[01:03:48]  In the 50s, Manhattan was completely white.
[01:03:51]  It was crime-free, too, coincidentally.
[01:03:54]  And this is a friend of Ann Coulter's, I know.
[01:03:57]  He's like 70.
[01:03:58]  He goes, we would just sleep in Central Park.
[01:04:02]  We didn't have air conditioning.
[01:04:04]  So we would go and bring sleeping bags and pillows and just lie down on the grass in Central Park.
[01:04:10]  The whole city would just sleep there at night.
[01:04:14]  Now we have the exonerated five, and you're not allowed to do that anymore.
[01:04:17]  You get fucking raped to death.
[01:04:22]  So yeah, it was to keep out the poor, not blacks and Puerto Ricans.
[01:04:27]  Today, the poor represent blacks and Puerto Ricans.
[01:04:30]  Back then, it was just poor.
[01:04:32]  Probably Irish and Italian.
[01:04:36]  3.9 noticed that the left wants woke back.
[01:04:43]  Go down a bit to AOC.
[01:04:46]  One dangerous aspect of thinking there's a woke problem is that damn chances of reelection, blah, blah, blah.
[01:04:50]  Woke is a term pundits are now using as a derogatory euphemism for civil rights and justice.
[01:04:56]  Making up a woke problem results in putting civil and voting rights on the back burner.
[01:05:00]  In a year, state legislators are planning out GOP majorities and voter suppression.
[01:05:05]  That's dangerous.
[01:05:07]  If you're not black and started using woke pejoratively sometime post-2018 or so, or worse, don't know anything about the earlier iteration of the term, I think it's fair to consider it a racial slur.
[01:05:18]  Okay, fine.
[01:05:20]  See, this is my attitude with all these things.
[01:05:22]  You get these allegations and you go, all right, gotcha.
[01:05:27]  The worst thing you can do, as we learned from Dave Chappelle's Black Nanette special, is sit there and say, I'm not racist and I'm not transphobic.
[01:05:35]  I'm not homophobic.
[01:05:36]  Stop apologizing.
[01:05:36]  It's boring.
[01:05:38]  Just say, okay.
[01:05:40]  You want to say woke is racist?
[01:05:41]  Fine.
[01:05:42]  You want to say this is a white power symbol?
[01:05:45]  All right.
[01:05:46]  Whatever you want.
[01:05:47]  I don't give a shit about your silly beliefs.
[01:05:51]  If you want to sit down and have a debate, I'm happy to do that.
[01:05:54]  But you know that I will slaughter you.
[01:05:56]  It will be embarrassing because your entire ethos is based on made-up facts.
[01:06:03]  My belief system is made up on fact facts.
[01:06:09]  You see that veiled threat there?
[01:06:11]  Doesn't mean I'm going to do anything to you or that anyone else will, but it doesn't mean I won't either.
[01:06:17]  So Joel D. Anderson is going to beat me up.
[01:06:21]  We'll see about that, Joel.
[01:06:23]  What's his story, Joel D. Anderson?
[01:06:25]  Does he write for The Hill too?
[01:06:26]  I can't believe Antifa is writing for The Hill.
[01:06:29]  It's an Antifa newsletter now?
[01:06:31]  Tara Dublin.
[01:06:34]  It's Slate.
[01:06:35]  Host season three of Slow Burn.
[01:06:38]  ESPN BuzzFeed News.
[01:06:39]  Yeah, he's an idiot.
[01:06:40]  He's an affirmative action hire.
[01:06:42]  If you're black and incompetent, go write for BuzzFeed.
[01:06:45]  They'd love to have you.
[01:06:48]  Your baby is racist, Ryan.
[01:06:50]  I didn't know that.
[01:06:51]  Yep.
[01:06:52]  Well, I don't know how you carry it.
[01:06:54]  Do you carry it?
[01:06:55]  Do you have a baby Bjorn?
[01:06:58]  No, not yet.
[01:06:59]  Oh, I have a baby carrier that I have not.
[01:07:01]  Your baby's so small, it would slip out the leg of a baby Bjorn.
[01:07:04]  Yeah, we're going to wait until she could fit.
[01:07:07]  You should just keep her in a tea bag.
[01:07:09]  We have been.
[01:07:11]  You know how to carry around your baby?
[01:07:13]  Find a gym sock and just plop her in it.
[01:07:16]  And then hold a corner of the gym sock.
[01:07:19]  Because it would be too roomy without doing that.
[01:07:21]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:07:23]  She is small, but she's not decimal.
[01:07:26]  I'm not insulting her.
[01:07:28]  She's not decimal.
[01:07:30]  I don't mind if she's small.
[01:07:31]  She's a little girl and Asian.
[01:07:33]  Supposed to be small.
[01:07:35]  T, it's supposed to be small.
[01:07:38]  Yeah.
[01:07:38]  The Asian baby.
[01:07:40]  Look, we're not going to insult your baby, but we can make jokes about it being small.
[01:07:43]  Yeah, she's small.
[01:07:44]  I'm not getting offended.
[01:07:45]  Sound like you're getting offended.
[01:07:46]  No, I promise I wasn't.
[01:07:48]  The way you choose to carry your child might be racist.
[01:07:52]  Inspiration versus appropriation is a big topic in baby wearing circles with plenty of controversies over the years.
[01:07:58]  Can we talk about white appropriation?
[01:08:00]  Like, isn't everything visible minorities do in America white appropriation?
[01:08:06]  From Beyoncé's hair to driving a car?
[01:08:10]  Like, I take one of your things, wearing a baby in a sling, and now I'm like ravaging your culture.
[01:08:18]  Shaq's the only one doing something about it, not using a phone and using vibes instead.
[01:08:22]  Yeah.
[01:08:23]  God bless Shaq.
[01:08:24]  But the reason carrying a baby is racist is everything is racist.
[01:08:27]  If you go to 4-1, you can see that breeding, simply having a baby is racist.
[01:08:37]  I think my partner's reason for suddenly wanting kids might be racist.
[01:08:39]  We originally agreed not to have children, but now he's saying our genes are too quote-unquote smart not to pass on.
[01:08:46]  Says Rebecca Onion.
[01:08:50]  It's irresponsible to have children given the state of the world.
[01:08:53]  And then just like Kyle Rittenhouse, they managed to make it racial.
[01:08:58]  You're talking about climate change and global population.
[01:09:02]  And now whites can't have babies.
[01:09:04]  Can blacks have babies?
[01:09:06]  Look at that stupid, ugly bitch.
[01:09:08]  She looks oniony.
[01:09:09]  Yeah.
[01:09:10]  It makes me cry.
[01:09:11]  I'm glad she's not breeding.
[01:09:14]  Several of our friends have had babies and he said that it would be dysgenic for us not to have babies because we're both smart.
[01:09:28]  The word smart has to be in quotes.
[01:09:34]  Talk about cucked.
[01:09:36]  Although it's always scored very high on standardized tests, you just got to get that in there.
[01:09:40]  I do not believe they are valid measures of anything.
[01:09:42]  Why'd you take the tests then?
[01:09:44]  Regularly.
[01:09:46]  Why are you regularly taking standardized tests if you don't think they're a valid measure?

=== Racist Bike Lessons (15:17) ===

[01:09:52]  I found this conversation bizarre and probably racist.
[01:09:54]  Frankly, I thought he was too enlightened to believe such things.
[01:09:57]  He's too smart to believe in breeding.
[01:10:02]  You're an idiot if you want to have a baby.
[01:10:04]  So you're an idiot, Ryan.
[01:10:05]  Oh, man.
[01:10:06]  But you're not white, so maybe that's good.
[01:10:08]  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:10:09]  What's the next thing?
[01:10:10]  Well, I'm double white.
[01:10:13]  Zoom out.
[01:10:16]  So they respond to this, and they say, I don't know who they is, but the mainstream left.
[01:10:23]  Your boyfriend stated a reason for changing his mind strikes me as A, indeed yes, racist.
[01:10:29]  Indeed, a little bit racist.
[01:10:31]  Oh, that's nice.
[01:10:31]  But idiocracy wasn't about race.
[01:10:34]  There was no blacks in the movie at all.
[01:10:37]  B, a sign that he's either now come to think about the question differently or that his climate-related reasons for not wanting to reproduce were never the same as yours to begin with.
[01:10:46]  Go ahead, dummies.
[01:10:48]  Go not breed.
[01:10:51]  Was that 4-2?
[01:10:52]  Let's do 4-3.
[01:10:57]  Pull up 4-3?
[01:10:58]  I think that was 4-1.
[01:10:59]  So this is 4-2.
[01:11:02]  Oh, yes.
[01:11:03]  That's our old Josh LaCash.
[01:11:05]  The unbearable whiteness of camping.
[01:11:08]  You said you loved him, and I talked to him yesterday.
[01:11:10]  He says he loves you, too.
[01:11:12]  Okay, that's good to know.
[01:11:14]  The unbearable whiteness.
[01:11:16]  Like, that's a common term.
[01:11:18]  People of color have been excluded.
[01:11:21]  How are you fucking excluded?
[01:11:24]  Camping isn't a thing that's marketed.
[01:11:26]  No one benefits from camping.
[01:11:27]  There's no corporation that gets 10 cents every Time you camp.
[01:11:31]  So it's not advertised.
[01:11:33]  It's not like Coca-Cola where Coke wants you to drink Coke.
[01:11:36]  Nature doesn't give a shit.
[01:11:38]  Actually, they'd rather you didn't pop by.
[01:11:40]  laughter laughter laughter So it's the unbearable whiteness of cycling, which, by the way, out up in West Chester, you see hordes of yuppies riding their bikes.
[01:11:55]  It's a pet peeve of mine.
[01:11:57]  Why are they wearing those stupid shirts?
[01:11:59]  I understand if you're a professional and you have a bunch of sponsors, but people in the suburbs wear shirts with fake sponsors on them.
[01:12:08]  Could you be more embarrassing?
[01:12:09]  Aren't you embarrassed?
[01:12:12]  Milk, indie, ballet, hiking, cycling.
[01:12:15]  Like, the implication here is that people are being excluded.
[01:12:19]  Hey, I want to buy this bicycle.
[01:12:20]  I want to go ride it.
[01:12:21]  I want to do some long distance cycle.
[01:12:23]  Sorry, sir.
[01:12:26]  I can't sell you this bicycle.
[01:12:28]  We would get looted.
[01:12:30]  They would burn this place.
[01:12:31]  They'd have a fiery but peaceful protest here if I sold you a bicycle.
[01:12:35]  You're bearably not white.
[01:12:36]  But yeah, what I was going to say is, in Westchester, you see these like...
[01:12:45]  What's this now?
[01:12:46]  Ryan's advertising himself.
[01:12:48]  This is the unbearable whiteness of wearing a suit.
[01:12:51]  I'm so glad your daughter didn't get that nose.
[01:12:54]  It's a nice nose.
[01:12:56]  What is with that?
[01:12:58]  When like a poor person wears a suit for the first time, they do this?
[01:13:01]  Like it's a fucking security vest?
[01:13:04]  Hey, I'm going to need you to go over there.
[01:13:06]  Have you ever held your lapels?
[01:13:08]  Never.
[01:13:09]  What the fuck is that?
[01:13:10]  Remember the guy going to see Aquaman?
[01:13:18]  You lost my train of thought now.
[01:13:19]  Unbearable whiteness.
[01:13:21]  Oh, yeah.
[01:13:22]  This is my fifth attempt at explaining this.
[01:13:24]  When those 30 dudes go by, 20 of them are black.
[01:13:30]  Pro-cycling in the suburbs where they're really ambitious about it is a black thing.
[01:13:35]  So the unbearable blackness of cycling in Westchester.
[01:13:38]  Holy shit, dude.
[01:13:40]  What?
[01:13:40]  We went to this nice little town, right?
[01:13:44]  And we're driving up this road and they have shirts that say bring color back to cycling or something like that or make cycling more diverse.
[01:13:52]  Why?
[01:13:52]  And dude, they're fucking in the road.
[01:13:55]  Like, they're not single file.
[01:13:57]  They sucked at cycling.
[01:14:00]  They were in the road, like all on the side of the right part of the road and then a little bit on the left side of the road, oncoming.
[01:14:06]  Should have hot.
[01:14:08]  I was just trying to get through them.
[01:14:10]  Yeah.
[01:14:11]  It's hilarious.
[01:14:12]  So maybe we should rewrite cycling just so it can be single file.
[01:14:17]  Follow the rules.
[01:14:19]  Yeah, look at them.
[01:14:20]  Man spreading.
[01:14:21]  That's exactly what it was like.
[01:14:24]  Williams Brothers hoping to inspire diverse cyclists.
[01:14:27]  That's good.
[01:14:28]  Why?
[01:14:29]  Who cares?
[01:14:31]  Who cares?
[01:14:36]  Who gives a fuck?
[01:14:37]  If you want to ride a bicycle, you can ride a bicycle.
[01:14:40]  Just don't.
[01:14:40]  No one's stopping you from doing anything.
[01:14:42]  It's America.
[01:14:44]  Go nuts.
[01:14:45]  But the one I stole isn't meant for you.
[01:14:47]  One day I went to Lidl.
[01:14:48]  I went to shoplift in Lidl.
[01:14:50]  Then I got caught in Lidl.
[01:14:51]  Now I can't go back to Lidl.
[01:14:53]  Like I had a Lidl thing on his thing, and I'm singing, of course, African Boy, an African immigrant who was shoplifting there.
[01:15:00]  Okay, do we do 4-3 yet?
[01:15:05]  Yes.
[01:15:06]  Yes.
[01:15:06]  All right.
[01:15:06]  So last item.
[01:15:09]  Second last item.
[01:15:11]  Oh, this was fun.
[01:15:14]  Hey, white people, it's okay to be ashamed.
[01:15:17]  Like white people need any more practice being ashamed.
[01:15:20]  Feeling ashamed of shameful things is not bad, she says in Michael Jackson, All Caps.
[01:15:26]  It's called being an empathetic and moral human being.
[01:15:30]  Shame helps us do better.
[01:15:31]  Okay, why don't you give it a whirl then, Ida?
[01:15:34]  What are you ashamed of?
[01:15:36]  The black crime rates?
[01:15:38]  When I visited the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum about the impact of the U.S.'s atomic bomb, as an American, I felt shame.
[01:15:47]  You know what I think when I think of Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
[01:15:50]  Pride.
[01:15:52]  Thank God they ended the war with a bunch of hard-headed nips who were determined to continue this stupid war forever.
[01:16:03]  They were goading America into a land invasion, which would have cost tens of thousands of lives.
[01:16:11]  And we didn't want to do that.
[01:16:13]  So we lit up that island on fire.
[01:16:17]  We burned Japan.
[01:16:18]  Possibly worse than the two atomic bombs was the flaming cities, the fiery and not peaceful bombings that went on pre-Hiroshima.
[01:16:28]  The emperor's response, go fuck yourself.
[01:16:31]  What?
[01:16:32]  I just lit your whole island on fire.
[01:16:35]  Yeah, I'm going to light you on fire, bitch.
[01:16:36]  It was like the night in Monty Python when they go, tis butt a scratch.
[01:16:41]  So we said, merely a flesh wound.
[01:16:43]  They were training little kids.
[01:16:45]  Go read Unbroken.
[01:16:47]  Luigi Fiorpini.
[01:16:48]  No, that's not his name.
[01:16:49]  Luis Zamparini.
[01:16:51]  Yeah.
[01:16:53]  They were training little kids and women to fight with bayonets.
[01:16:58]  So we went, all right, so by you training women and children, what you're really saying is I can kill all your men and you're still going to keep fighting.
[01:17:05]  All right, I need a boom.
[01:17:08]  And here's another thing amazing about that.
[01:17:12]  She says it's okay to recognize the sins of our past.
[01:17:16]  That's all white people do.
[01:17:20]  Even conservatives.
[01:17:22]  At Proud Boys meetups, we read that same page from The Death of the West by Pat Buchanan, where he says, yes, we did participate in slavery.
[01:17:34]  We did treat blacks as second-class citizens.
[01:17:37]  Yes, our behavior, our treatment of the Indians was not what one would expect for people to whom the Sermon on the Mount was divine command.
[01:17:47]  He lays all that out first, and then he goes, however, the time for apologies has passed.
[01:17:52]  So we can do shame.
[01:17:54]  We do it all the time.
[01:17:55]  But we also acknowledge through our faults that we were not the worst, But the best.
[01:18:01]  We didn't start slavery, we finished it.
[01:18:05]  So though we proudly acknowledge our faults, we love ourselves, warts and all, but we're aware of the warts, you stupid fucking cunt, who's trying to.
[01:18:14]  She's the one behind the 1619 project where she tries to exaggerate our warts and say we're all warts.
[01:18:20]  No.
[01:18:21]  No.
[01:18:22]  Nowhere do blacks, gays, trannies, all those stupid groups experience more freedom than in America, than in the West.
[01:18:31]  So you're welcome, you stupid bitch.
[01:18:33]  Also, I noticed in that thread, I can't find it now, but someone was saying, you know, what happened was the emperor tried to surrender.
[01:18:42]  And he had a condition, though.
[01:18:44]  He said, look, I'll surrender.
[01:18:46]  Can I just be the figurehead?
[01:18:47]  I won't have any power.
[01:18:49]  I just want to be the emperor.
[01:18:51]  And we said, fuck you.
[01:18:52]  And then we did Nagasaki.
[01:18:53]  We did Hiroshima.
[01:18:54]  And then he tried to surrender.
[01:18:56]  And then we did Nagasaki again because we wanted to see Japanese people die.
[01:19:00]  And when I saw that, it was from some black professor.
[01:19:03]  I went, okay, that sounds pretty bad.
[01:19:06]  That sounds worse than I had expected.
[01:19:09]  On August 10th, he tried to surrender, and then we bombed him again.
[01:19:12]  So I looked it up.
[01:19:13]  Guess when the second bombing was?
[01:19:16]  August 9th.
[01:19:18]  Of course he tried to surrender.
[01:19:19]  He just got both bombs up his ass.
[01:19:22]  And what's worse is we said okay.
[01:19:26]  So that whole notion that they tried to surrender and then we bombed them is completely false.
[01:19:31]  We gave them a bomb.
[01:19:32]  They didn't try to surrender.
[01:19:34]  We gave them another bomb.
[01:19:34]  He said, can I just retain my emperor status and have no authority?
[01:19:37]  And we went, okay.
[01:19:39]  And we took it.
[01:19:42]  Black cycling is going well, by the way.
[01:19:46]  Thank God.
[01:19:47]  First time riding with road bike and he crashed.
[01:19:49]  Black cyclist Manny rides with his best friend.
[01:19:52]  He's got to document it.
[01:19:53]  He gets his white coat friend and he says, oh, he fell.
[01:19:58]  This is his first time riding with those pedals that lock into your feet.
[01:20:02]  And he's gloated in the fact that on his first night, very supportive now that he's a black cyclist and racist.
[01:20:08]  They need our support.
[01:20:09]  Imagine how infantilized you'd feel if people were like trying to get you to ride a bicycle.
[01:20:16]  When did you learn to ride a bike?
[01:20:17]  Five?
[01:20:18]  I just want you to not steal mine.
[01:20:20]  Yeah.
[01:20:21]  I want you to ride a bike, your own bike.
[01:20:23]  I want you to ride a bike.
[01:20:29]  And then, you know, he was stopped by a British KKK cop.
[01:20:34]  Poor guy.
[01:20:35]  Oh my God, that's real.
[01:20:37]  Yeah.
[01:20:37]  I thought you were joking.
[01:20:39]  No.
[01:20:42]  So how does it feel to do your first 20 minutes?
[01:20:46]  You need socks on your shoes.
[01:20:48]  What if there's a highlight to you, like, riding out?
[01:20:50]  Right, I'll bring you up.
[01:20:52]  Where are you from?
[01:20:54]  Why do you get all this gear on your very first ride?
[01:21:03]  In general, man, like being out, and I'm feeling that, and I'm alive.
[01:21:07]  So, have you seen the views?
[01:21:08]  Do you still smell cannabis?
[01:21:10]  No, I don't think so.
[01:21:11]  Have you went there second ago and you said you smell cannabis?
[01:21:13]  Well, he is wearing Rasta colours, so that's actually if that really happened, then I'm on his side.
[01:21:19]  Yeah, that's not cool.
[01:21:20]  What are you doing?
[01:21:22]  You could see everything that's on his person.
[01:21:24]  Yeah, he's not hiding a gun now.
[01:21:26]  He is literally wearing skin-tight clothing.
[01:21:28]  Go to 4-5.
[01:21:29]  this our last racism piece you Oh, I love this guy.
[01:21:39]  There he is.
[01:21:42]  The fuck him with me because I'm a teenager.
[01:21:46]  Here, they want white supremacy by ventriloquist effect.
[01:21:49]  There is a black mouth moving, but a white idea through the running on the runway of the tongue of a figure who justifies and legitimates the white supremacy.
[01:22:02]  First of all, legitimizes.
[01:22:03]  Normally, I wouldn't correct that, but if you're going to be racist, you might as well use the proper terminology.
[01:22:07]  This is exactly what the extreme political left does when they find a narrative that they can't control.
[01:22:11]  A black woman who goes against what is expected of her by being conservative is ignorant.
[01:22:16]  All right, let's jump over the mailbag.
[01:22:20]  Remember, he was on our network, Michael Eric Dyson, and he said, fucking with me because I'm a teenager with a little bit of gold and a pager.
[01:22:30]  And then I pointed out, I never should have been let out the penitentiary.
[01:22:36]  And Dyson goes, but that's a different song.
[01:22:41]  Okay.
[01:22:41]  So it's the same album, straight out of Compton.
[01:22:45]  Oh, it's so good.
[01:22:48]  He had a lot less attitude after that.
[01:22:52]  An N without attitude?
[01:22:54]  No, Jesus.
[01:22:55]  Wow.
[01:22:55]  Way to take my joke.
[01:22:57]  Sorry.
[01:22:57]  Rip it open.
[01:23:00]  Let's turn our eyes together.
[01:23:06]  Let me touch it.
[01:23:09]  Interstitial 8 motherfucking times.
[01:23:11]  These are people that are angry at you, Ryan, last night for playing.
[01:23:15]  Thanks for calling on a loop.
[01:23:16]  is here.
[01:23:18]  And you just fucked up as we did that.
[01:23:19]  That's correct.
[01:23:20]  And I'm sorry.
[01:23:21]  And it will never happen again.
[01:23:22]  Please, for the love of God, stop with the Collins.
[01:23:24]  They're not funny.
[01:23:25]  It's the worst part of the week.
[01:23:26]  I love y'all, but suck.
[01:23:28]  You suck worse than, spelled wrong.
[01:23:31]  My ex's heels, spelled wrong, and sunglasses.
[01:23:34]  You're illiterate, Daniel.
[01:23:37]  And no, we cannot stop the Collins.
[01:23:39]  It's one hour a week of a two-hour show, 2468, right?
[01:23:46]  Let's say it's six hours a week.
[01:23:48]  So one-sixth of this show is Collins, and we want to get in touch with the baby monsters.
[01:23:53]  We want to hear something.
[01:23:55]  What if all our calls were like, please stop talking about racism?
[01:23:59]  We all hate it.
[01:24:00]  We're done.
[01:24:01]  We go, okay, I guess we should take it easy on the race.
[01:24:04]  Come on, man, Mikey!
[01:24:09]  Here's a pic of the George Floyd lawyer you were looking for yesterday.
[01:24:11]  He's now representing the families of Astro World.
[01:24:15]  Jesus, that guy's getting around.
[01:24:19]  And getting good at getting around, if you will.
[01:24:21]  Paisley Ty.
[01:24:22]  So what's his name?
[01:24:23]  Is he Ben Crump?
[01:24:24]  Ben Crump, yeah.
[01:24:25]  Look him up.
[01:24:26]  He's got pictures on bus stops, you know, those bus stop ads.
[01:24:30]  Dude, we got to get him on the show and then talk about the bald eagle.
[01:24:35]  Oh my God.
[01:24:37]  And if we can get him to say, we understand the concept of bald eagles are on the endangered list, but black males are not.
[01:24:46]  But it was frustrating watching Felonius Floyd say that because he said the bird witch is.
[01:24:51]  Ben, how did you feel when he said the bird witch is instead of just saying the bald eagle?

=== Ben Crump Appears (03:07) ===

[01:24:56]  And if we could get him to just go, I don't care what he does, actually.
[01:24:59]  Would it be great if he just went, yeah, it was, I mean, we've gone through that many, many times.
[01:25:06]  And then we could play the clip.
[01:25:08]  We go, here we have your face when he said it.
[01:25:11]  There he is, Ben Crump.
[01:25:13]  Calling me to get justice for your personal injury, Ben Crump.
[01:25:16]  You know what?
[01:25:17]  I guarantee if I give him a thousand bucks, he'll come on the show.
[01:25:21]  Think so?
[01:25:22]  Absolutely.
[01:25:24]  He'd come on KKK TV.
[01:25:27]  There we go.
[01:25:27]  We got his number.
[01:25:29]  Napole Crump.
[01:25:31]  Fellow conservative dude Biff Lawson sent this to me.
[01:25:35]  Good guy.
[01:25:36]  Isn't it weird how he's the black lawyer?
[01:25:39]  It's hard to believe we're in a country of 331 million people when we have one black lawyer.
[01:25:45]  Like he's handling every case.
[01:25:47]  It's like we're in a little town in England called Hertfordshire.
[01:25:53]  You have Hertfordshire to me today.
[01:25:55]  I just want to say that Ryan's intro had me dying with laughter.
[01:25:59]  Perfect amount of flair and cringe.
[01:26:01]  Hmm.
[01:26:02]  Wait, what?
[01:26:03]  Cringe.
[01:26:06]  See attached for the video, which is the attachment.
[01:26:10]  Okay, there's one.
[01:26:11]  And we have Kyle Rittenhouse.
[01:26:16]  Let me fuck you with my heels on, yeah.
[01:26:21]  The bird, which is the bald eagle, crossing state lines.
[01:26:24]  We have people here happy about your Jesse Lee Peterson imitation.
[01:26:27]  Ah.
[01:26:28]  Jesse Lee Deterson.
[01:26:29]  Sentient definition.
[01:26:30]  Please look it up and stop saying women are sentient beings.
[01:26:35]  Okay, let's look up sentient.
[01:26:37]  A computer.
[01:26:38]  Computer, what does sentient mean?
[01:26:43]  As an adjective, sentient is usually defined as having the power of perception by the senses, conscious.
[01:26:50]  As a noun, sentient is usually defined as a person or thing that is sentient.
[01:26:55]  For more, ask me to give you more definitions for sentient.
[01:27:00]  Okay, that doesn't sound like I'm right.
[01:27:03]  And I'm pronouncing it wrong.
[01:27:04]  Sentient.
[01:27:05]  It sounds like you're right, but redundant.
[01:27:08]  Responsive or responsive to or conscious of sense impressions.
[01:27:15]  So it means sentient.
[01:27:18]  Okay, I'll stop saying it.
[01:27:19]  You win.
[01:27:21]  You won this round.
[01:27:22]  Hey guys, the white guy in the Veterans Day, Google Doodle, is missing an arm because he's the only one that actually saw combat.
[01:27:27]  He had to bear the brunt of it, if you will.
[01:27:29]  I thought that yesterday.
[01:27:31]  Everyone else had some sort of bullshit Pete butt plug role in the military.
[01:27:37]  I like how Pete Buttplug was put into the political sphere so Trump would say something homophobic, and he didn't.
[01:27:44]  He said Alfred E. Newman, but we are all too eager to jump on board and take the bait.

=== Hyundai Heritage Moment (06:34) ===

[01:27:53]  Gavin's ideal automobile.
[01:27:56]  This is nice, dude.
[01:27:57]  This is nice.
[01:27:58]  They literally stole your idea.
[01:28:01]  This is gorgeous.
[01:28:02]  The interior, the...
[01:28:06]  Yeah, see, I'm not looking for a fancy brand name like BMW or JAG.
[01:28:10]  I'll take a Hyundai.
[01:28:12]  That is a fucking beautiful car, sir.
[01:28:14]  I would Hyundai for this car.
[01:28:16]  Wait a minute.
[01:28:18]  That was at 9.54 a.m.
[01:28:20]  At 9.02 a.m.
[01:28:22]  We have Retro Hyundai Heritage.
[01:28:25]  Hey, Gavin and new dad fag.
[01:28:27]  Totally different email.
[01:28:28]  An hour earlier today.
[01:28:30]  I assume 50 people will send you this, but in case I'm wrong, have you seen the Hyundai Heritage car?
[01:28:37]  Isn't that weird?
[01:28:40]  Well, maybe they had just released.
[01:28:42]  I think this was just released because somebody also 10.44 a.m.
[01:28:47]  November 10th.
[01:28:48]  Yeah, yeah.
[01:28:49]  But that came out two days ago.
[01:28:51]  Restamont treatment elevates 1980s Hyundai Grander to a new level.
[01:28:55]  To follow up the pony from earlier this year, Hyundai reached into its past once again and turned this boxy sedan into a retro fusion.
[01:29:01]  Wait, so this is for sale now as a 2021 car?
[01:29:04]  I heard this was a concept, but that's awesome if they did, although it probably means it's fucking 40 or 50 grand.
[01:29:14]  Yeah.
[01:29:15]  Yuck, yuck.
[01:29:16]  So that could start a trend.
[01:29:17]  The most important thing about that is if there's more demand, there's more supply.
[01:29:21]  Yeah, folks, if you're watching this, please buy this car.
[01:29:24]  Yes.
[01:29:25]  Let's increase the demand.
[01:29:28]  We are now promoting Hyundai.
[01:29:31]  Okay, last one, it's called Black Savior.
[01:29:34]  And it says, have you noticed?
[01:29:39]  Similar ads.
[01:29:40]  Coincidence?
[01:29:41]  Stay has been AIDS this year.
[01:29:45]  Kenny Hotz.
[01:29:46]  This is Kenny Hatz's...
[01:29:47]  ...delay spray that's been used by over one million men and it has clinically proven to help you last longer in bed.
[01:29:52]  It takes the edge off and senses...
[01:29:54]  Just the ad?
[01:29:55]  Blah, blah, blah.
[01:29:56]  Keep going.
[01:30:00]  Wait, this is a full episode?
[01:30:02]  hour 22 so what's And why didn't Kenny call me when he was in?
[01:30:08]  He doesn't have a crane.
[01:30:10]  Okay, now go through the next one.
[01:30:12]  Hey, Jen.
[01:30:13]  Is your family down for Christmas?
[01:30:15]  probably just me this year oh Agnes Come on, it's a tradition.
[01:30:30]  I'm right behind him.
[01:30:32]  She dies in a heart attack.
[01:30:34]  Mommy, Mommy!
[01:30:35]  *crying*
[01:30:38]  Give more than I can kill next year.
[01:30:41]  Etsy.
[01:30:43]  Hey, buddy.
[01:30:44]  That was annoying.
[01:30:45]  That put me in a bad mood.
[01:30:46]  More good news.
[01:30:49]  Ooh.
[01:30:50]  Electric concept.
[01:30:51]  Look at that fucking thing.
[01:30:55]  That is attractive.
[01:30:57]  Sure is.
[01:30:57]  That's fucking Fonzie style.
[01:30:59]  Yeah.
[01:31:00]  That's all I've been asking for.
[01:31:02]  It's electric, though.
[01:31:03]  I can take it.
[01:31:04]  It's electric.
[01:31:05]  I'm not against electric cars.
[01:31:06]  That's kind of cool.
[01:31:07]  Yeah.
[01:31:08]  Look at the plaid.
[01:31:10]  Oh, hi.
[01:31:11]  Plaid.
[01:31:12]  Can you see the plaid trim?
[01:31:13]  The bottom?
[01:31:15]  It's not plaid.
[01:31:16]  That's an orange stripe.
[01:31:17]  How about that?
[01:31:19]  I can't really see it.
[01:31:20]  Enhance.
[01:31:23]  Put some tart in there for you.
[01:31:25]  Just a checkerboard.
[01:31:27]  Alright, let's get to the final video.
[01:31:30]  Actually, now that I check all the email, we have a million emails about the Hyundai.
[01:31:34]  Okay.
[01:31:36]  Final video.
[01:31:37]  Final video.
[01:31:52]  This one goes out to everyone who works or owns or has access to a pizza place.
[01:32:00]  We are in a global crisis right now.
[01:32:03]  Climate change is gripping the nation, gripping the planet.
[01:32:07]  And this clear-cutting in every major forest in the world in order to satiate our endless need for paper, for cardboard, for specifically pizza boxes.
[01:32:19]  And I want you to know if you're watching right now that if you throw out pizza boxes that are not used, if I catch you throwing out perfectly good pizza boxes, we will send one of our intrepid activists to your pizza place in order to publicly shame you on Facebook Live.
[01:32:37]  So do not, I repeat, do not throw out cardboard before it's time or you'll face this rat.
[01:32:45]  We have one Mother Earth, right?
[01:32:46]  We have one Mother Earth.
[01:32:47]  You get it, right?
[01:32:48]  One Mother Earth.
[01:32:49]  One Mother Earth, take care of it.
[01:32:51]  I'm going to scratch it on my motherfucking deserts.
[01:32:54]  I'm sure you're not.
[01:32:54]  I'm having a fucking night.
[01:32:56]  I'm going to send this to your fucking manager.
[01:32:57]  You're fucking a man.
[01:32:59]  I'll get him.
[01:33:00]  Yes, don't worry.
[01:33:01]  Take your manager.
[01:33:02]  Let's go.
[01:33:03]  Hey, Justin, Justin.
[01:33:04]  We'll make you get your manager.
[01:33:05]  Let's go.
[01:33:06]  Let's fucking go.
[01:33:08]  Justin, let's go.
[01:33:11]  I don't care about the title.
[01:33:12]  Let's go.
[01:33:13]  Mikey.
[01:33:14]  I'm sorry about you, Justin.
[01:33:15]  You're employing the balls off.
[01:33:17]  You're trying to save the climate.
[01:33:19]  Don't worry, I'm recording.
[01:33:21]  I'm recording this whole fucking time.
[01:33:22]  I'm recording Facebook Live.
[01:33:24]  Facebook Live, bitch!
[01:33:25]  Who cares?
[01:33:26]  Gooey!
[01:33:27]  Facebook Live!
[01:33:29]  Facebook Live, bitch!
[01:33:32]  Facebook Live!
[01:33:32]  I'm gonna put you on Facebook Live.
[01:33:38]  Is that Jesse from fucking Breaking Bad?
[01:33:41]  We've went Earth!
[01:33:42]  We won't fucking plan it!
[01:33:43]  You don't give a shit about it!
[01:33:45]  We want fucking Earth!
[01:33:47]  Respect it, bitch!
[01:33:48]  It houses you!
[01:33:49]  It homes you!
[01:33:51]  It wants to make sure you're good!
[01:33:52]  You don't give a shit!
[01:33:55]  No, no words!
[01:33:56]  Have a good fucking night, bitch!
[01:33:59]  Thank you, Ellie.
[01:34:01]  Bitch!
[01:34:02]  I like how she's using woman as an insult.
[01:34:04]  You're me, bitch.
[01:34:08]  That's the show.
[01:34:09]  Thank you for coming aboard.
[01:34:10]  We're very happy to have Ryan back.
[01:34:12]  Everything is back to normal and enhanced.
[01:34:15]  We have a new baby in the family, a little Buddha named Daphne.