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Nov. 12, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:00:05

GOML LIVE #123 - RYAN'S BACK

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Time	Text
	He was just the rocket.
	Hello, folks.
	Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.
	Here we are.
	Oh, I got the wrong fucking thing.
	Okay, so here's the proper camera angle.
	Once again, we are without Ryan Catsu Rivera.
	He is with his baby.
	I don't know.
	Paternity leave.
	Is it a thing?
	What's he going to do?
	I have nipples, Greg.
	Can you milk me?
	Should he be really at home with his child?
	I think it's the reason I allowed it for one week, unlike Pete Buggadig, who got like, what, two months, is I thought it's a good message to send to the wife, which is it's subliminal.
	And it's like, I'm going to be there for you.
	I'm not going to abandon you.
	I'm around.
	But I think we've established that.
	And yesterday's show was garbage.
	And this show is looking like it's going to suck just as much shit.
	We've got Maddie Odell here again.
	All right, everybody.
	Good to see you.
	You're going to flip me on over here.
	Hey, there I am.
	What's up, everybody?
	Good to be back.
	Good to see everybody.
	Thanks for all the input on the social media, seeing how I'm doing.
	We're both wearing shirts to recognize the well, my shirt's a president's shirt, but your shirt is a veteran shirt.
	It's Veterans Day.
	Yes.
	We should acknowledge that.
	11-11.
	I don't want to dwell on the fact that when you look up both sides who are there for Pearl Harbor, who are there still alive, none of them are hot.
	That's a dumb thing to focus on.
	You know, they're in their 90s now.
	True.
	Yeah, so the fact that they're hot or not is an irrelevant detail, I think.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	Very much so.
	But none of them are hot.
	Right?
	No.
	You've got guys in your, you're a big military dude, despite being a miscreant criminal that does the opposite of saving this country.
	Right?
	I've chose different career paths.
	But you have a lot of military in your family.
	Yes, yes, I do.
	I have a current military.
	You know, my father was in the military.
	My grandfather was in the military.
	I have cousins and brothers that were in the military.
	What was your dad doing?
	He was in the Navy.
	He was an ordinance man on actually the USS Intrepid.
	That's a museum in the city now.
	Yes.
	Yep.
	So he was into Scottish chicks for some weird reason.
	Yep.
	Yeah, he was.
	Maybe they're dirty.
	With all due respect to your dead mother.
	But like, whenever I hung out in Glasgow, I was like, I'm in Harlem.
	Yeah.
	Like, we are the ends of the W's.
	True.
	So maybe.
	Maybe they were.
	Maybe they were harming them.
	They're just like the saucy broads.
	Like, I remember being a kid on vacation.
	I wouldn't call it vacation.
	Spending the summers in Glasgow.
	And you'd see these Scottish girls with their boyfriends.
	I remember being like 12 and liking the 13, the 14-year-olds.
	And the way they would sort of like, I don't know, like hang back by the watering hole, like they just had this arrogance that you don't usually see in the white race.
	They were feeling themselves.
	They're brassy brats.
	Anyway, the sponsors.
	So I would like to apologize in advance for this show.
	Ryan is still not here.
	Maddie and I don't know what we're doing, obviously.
	Do you even have a light on you, dude?
	Yeah, it's on.
	Let's get to the sponsors, though.
	Flagshirt.com.
	Do we have a new sponsor here?
	It's Veterans Day.
	We are all celebrating our veterans.
	Tactical Tim from Tactical Walls, Bubba and Hank, and Sean from BeardVet.
	And now our newest team members, theflagshirt.com.
	Dude, I think we're at 100% American-made, vet-owned sponsors on the show.
	This is a military show.
	This is the perfect day to do Veterans Day.
	Theflagshirt.com, 100% veteran-owned and operated.
	Theflagshirt.com.
	Oh shit, I can't cut to it.
	Hold on.
	Here we are.
	How are you making out in there in the booth?
	Tell us why Veterans Day is on your money.
	Veterans Day sale.
	There you go.
	Flagshirt.
	Get patriotized.
	Nice.
	I like that adjective, patriotized.
	The flagshirt.com sells the finest America gear, shirts, hats, windbreakers, you name it.
	And the guys at flagshirt will make it America style.
	Theflagshirt.com is 100% the best Christmas present for your loved ones this season right now.
	All GOML listeners get 10% off all orders when they go to theflagshirt.com.
	Just enter promo code GOML and you get the discount.
	Flagshirt is veteran-owned and they support us.
	So we support them.
	Trump loves these guys and you should too.
	They donate time and money to helping veteran families and the mega cause.
	So we are proud to add them to our loyal list of sponsors.
	Theflagshirt.com promo code GUML, 10% off.
	Make this Christmas mega mega with theflagshirt.com promo code GUML.
	Thank you, Flagshirt.
	We like you more than a friend.
	Thank you, everyone at Flagshirt, for your service to this beautiful country.
	God bless America.
	I'm just going to go back over to Ryan's old computer and, I don't know, go through there.
	What do they sell?
	Hold on a sec.
	I don't think hear your mic's on.
	Jack, Jack, Jack.
	There you go.
	You got me.
	You got me.
	You got me.
	Oh, that's cool.
	Look at that shirt.
	Look at those shirts.
	Those are great shirts.
	The bird, which is the bald eagle.
	The bird which is the bald eagle.
	Right there.
	Come on up.
	Oh, my God.
	Okay, let's go back.
	Dude, you're not going to believe this.
	So, you know, the bird which is the bald eagle, right?
	Oh, yeah.
	I met the duck, which was a cornucopia of stories.
	I don't know if I can even finish them, but I'm watching Ahmed Arbery, which they don't call Ahmed.
	He's got some other name in the court case.
	But they're like, he was scouting locations before those dudes called the cops.
	We saw this guy forever.
	He's a scombag.
	He wears just like a winter coat and nothing else.
	Shorts and Timberlands.
	The guy's like a fucking sociopath.
	He's a mentally ill thief.
	And they called the cops on him.
	But I'm watching the trial at the bar.
	And guess who his fucking lawyer is?
	Who is he?
	It's the eye roll from the bulb, which is the bald eagle.
	Oh, my God.
	It gets crazier.
	He has a bald eagle on his lapel.
	A lapel pin?
	Yes.
	An eagle.
	Which is even crazier because we're watching the Rittenhouse trial and the prosecution has Star Wars pins on their lapel.
	So it's a thing and a thing and a thing.
	It's so meta that I can't show it because we don't have a Ryan here.
	Maybe I can try to show it.
	I got to be honest.
	I shit on Ryan on a daily basis.
	I say he's useless.
	I don't want him here.
	And then we've done a week without him because he made that weird little Buddhist premi.
	And I am having trouble surviving without him.
	I'm going to just say that openly.
	He's not going to say he's good at his job, but he's definitely better than nothing.
	That is true.
	Anyway, let me try to find...
	I want to text the guy because I couldn't record it, so I took a picture of the...
	You can already tell this show is going to suck.
	Maybe you could send it to Ryan's computer on the desk in the control room to try to get it from there.
	Yeah, I'll try texting it to Ryan, and then it won't be him, obviously.
	But he might get it.
	I wouldn't get your hopes up for this show, folks.
	And if you're busy and you didn't feel like watching this show and you don't think it's going to be good, I would recommend just giving up and just being like, oh, well, I'll go to bed early and I'll take the hit.
	You have to do it today.
	Anyway, I just emailed it to Ryan's computer.
	I'm going to go over to Ryan's computer and see if I can find the lawyer who was the Bald Eagle guy who's doing Ahmed.
	Is it Ahmed Arbery?
	I think it's Ahmed Arbery.
	Hold on.
	Have faith, folks.
	I am a real American.
	I do what you need.
	Holy Jesus.
	Wow.
	What is that?
	Ladies and gentlemen, Ryan catch you Rivera in the beauty.
	Thank you very much.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	That was amazing and American.
	But when you walked in, I couldn't help but notice Maddie was no longer sitting at the bar.
	Where did you go?
	I wasn't going to have a slash.
	Oh, you went to go piss.
	That was a quick piss.
	It was a quick piss.
	Welcome back, Ryan.
	Thank you.
	Welcome back to Veterans Day.
	Happy blurry.
	Yep, you're blurry.
	Happy veterans.
	There's a giant space above your right ear.
	I don't know why that's open, but whatever.
	Welcome.
	So what have you learned from fatherhood?
	Oh, it's crazy.
	You don't get a lot of sleep on the second night, but the third and fourth night, you get sleep, and it's good.
	A lot of breastfeeding and a lot of joyous little moments.
	I FaceTimed my dad.
	Oh, he said.
	He said that he said.
	Congratulations.
	Yeah.
	Did he advise that you skip town within the next week?
	So ideally, you want to leave like a little later.
	First, you want to go to the bottom.
	You don't want to establish a connection.
	So you should probably leave like around now.
	You can leave with me if you want.
	But then you're close to my key, so it's kind of weird.
	Didn't he call you back after you told him that the baby was born to re-ask when it was born or something?
	Yeah, I asked him what the middle name, because May is her middle name, M-E-I, which is Japanese, has Japanese meaning, and it's a very popular name there, but also Chinese.
	So I said, what is the Japanese meaning?
	He's like, oh, I don't know.
	I was like, well, I looked it up.
	It says like bright or like light.
	And he's like, what do you mean?
	Wait a minute.
	That does mean.
	I don't know.
	Like, I speak English.
	If someone asked me what car means, I'd go, it's an automated little house that zips around with four wheels.
	Right.
	I wouldn't go, oh, I don't know.
	It could mean a million things.
	I think, you remember how you said Chinese people are learning Chinese their entire language, their entire life?
	Yeah.
	It's kind of like that, where it's like, it could mean a bunch of different things, but light and bright and also sounds nice.
	See, we're going to name her Daphne Mae, M-A-E, but that means bitter in the Bible, which is no good.
	There's something wrong with that.
	Okay.
	Very cute kid.
	Thank you.
	Very amazing baby.
	I was very worried, to be totally frank, when I saw the ultrasounds because of your hideous face.
	I was worried about the nose.
	But the nose is beautiful.
	Well, what God did was, and we discussed this on the show, they shrank it.
	Right.
	So now it looks normal, human.
	They made it tiny, and then they gave it a little ski jump from your wife.
	And things are reasonable.
	Let's see if I got it in the picture.
	Thank God.
	Oh, yeah.
	Here's one.
	Oh, this is good.
	I have a dad tip.
	You mean a foreskin?
	Well, I don't have a dad tip in that sense, but in the sense that...
	All right, dad trick.
	You're holding the baby, you're jiggling, you want to cut steak.
	Hold the baby's head in the crux of your elbows.
	Can't we see your bill after getting steak at the hospital?
	I'm afraid.
	It's not going to be good.
	On the rest of the body of the child.
	You put the fork in the meat, which is usually a two-hand job.
	And you chop, chop, chop.
	Sing a little something.
	And you can hum with your mouth closed.
	I don't even air pot in.
	Good question.
	And if you sing to them, I'll tell you what.
	I like the smell of steak.
	That's how you eat.
	A two-handed meal with a baby.
	So I'll tell you why.
	Every time we eat, whenever we eat, we watch Sopranos, and the baby was asleep for the beginning part of that.
	And then she woke up.
	That's our little routine.
	Where are you at?
	And one of the sopranos.
	Season 6A.
	What's happening?
	Is Tony going to get whacked by his uncle?
	I don't want to...
	No, that already passed.
	I don't want to give anything up.
	But Christopher has been a dead show for 32 years.
	Let's just say something happened with Christopher's love interest.
	Drea DeMateo was murdered.
	You know, when that show was popular, my wife and I were obsessed and we would see her.
	Oh, yeah, that's right, right.
	And we would yell, tell Tony!
	Tell Tony!
	Yeah.
	Because our whole thing, and I believe this to this day with the mob, if you get arrested by the FBI, go up to the mob and be like, they want me to wear a wire.
	Yeah, what do I do?
	So I'm going to wear one.
	And then you go.
	And then you just tell me bullshit shoplifting shit.
	Oh, I don't know of anything.
	Like wear right on your forehead marker, I'm wearing a wire and be like, yo, what's going on?
	You guys got any big plans?
	And they'd be like, not, we're laying low for a while.
	Like, why do you have to, why is it one or the other?
	I either snitch and I'm safe or I go to jail.
	What about a gray area?
	Right, right.
	I wear a wire and I tell you, that was Whitey Bulger, right?
	And now you start playing the FBI and now you have an in on the FBI and you know what they're looking for.
	Maddie's the expert.
	Cut to Maddie.
	We can cut to Maddie now.
	I never cooperated or wore a wire, so I couldn't really talk much about how they do it.
	Well, this is a revolutionary concept I just invented.
	You talk to the guys and you go, hey guys, I'm going to be wearing a wire from now on.
	How would that go, Maddie?
	How do you think?
	Well, I don't know.
	There was a guy that I knew in my previous life.
	They killed this girl.
	She came, they brought him to the clubhouse.
	She started disparaging the club.
	And one guy beat her up and they took her out of the desert and they cut her head off.
	Whoa.
	That's funny.
	So there was three of them that were involved in it.
	And one guy got guilt tripped.
	I guess he couldn't deal with what they did.
	And he decided to go to the FBI and he said, Look, we killed this girl, and you know, me and this two other people did it.
	And we took her out to the desert, we cut her head off.
	Her name was Cynthia Garcia.
	And they were like, Well, you got to get these guys on tape to admit that, you know, we just can't take your word for it, you know, because maybe you just did it.
	So he was like, I don't know how the fuck I'm going to do that and everything.
	But wait a minute.
	Sorry to interrupt.
	But if this guy feels so guilty, how about you just admit it, you take the blame, and you go to jail?
	Why are you going to get the other guys involved?
	He got five years probation.
	Yeah.
	Other guys got life.
	But they put a camera and a microphone in one of his death head pins on his vest.
	And, you know, he was trying to get him, because you're not going to walk up and say, hey, remember when we cut that fucking girl's head off?
	Like, you don't have conversations like that.
	I've noticed every time you bring that up, I check all your pins on your shirt.
	That was a secret, dude.
	Why are you bringing it up?
	There were a couple of meetings after that where people weren't allowed to wear their cuts or anything in the room because they were all paranoid.
	But so they were like, well, how the fuck.
	So the FBI, I guess, or he came up with an idea that I guess they had a hard time cutting a head off because the knives weren't sharp or whatever.
	So he was furnished two new knives.
	And he, wow, he went out to dinner with these guys.
	And he presented them with the knives.
	And he goes, well, these are really sharp.
	Maybe next time it won't be such a hassle to do whatever.
	And then they fucking caught him up.
	I mean, one guy went on the run.
	He just got caught maybe within the last two or three years, but he was on the run for like 20 years.
	And they caught him in Argentina.
	I just don't get, like, I get that.
	So that's a rat.
	That's a psycho.
	Probably a meth head, by the way.
	He was probably having a bad trip on meth, and he's like, I need to confess.
	I don't know.
	But if you're Christopher Maltasante and you get caught by the feds, why not just go like to Tony and go, guys, I got to wear a wire now?
	I don't know.
	What do you want me to do?
	Seems like a good idea to me.
	Well, they'd probably kill you.
	Because now you're a liability.
	You'll never know when to be able to feel comfortable around that person.
	So they would more than likely kill her anyway, which they did in the show.
	But that's TV and make-believe.
	Tactical Walls.
	Tactical Walls is the number one tactical company in the world.
	Right now, my listeners get 20% off all orders when you go to tacticalwalls.com.
	Ryan, pull up Tactical Walls.
	You're back at work, my friend.
	You're rehired.
	This is what Tactical Walls makes.
	Look at the shit you can put on your wall.
	Now, of course, we here at the studio have a bunch of bullshit on our walls.
	We are hanging presently motorcycle helmets, trays with masks on them, a couple of jackets.
	It's embarrassing.
	It's not cool.
	Baseball bat.
	A couple of baseball bats for intruders.
	Just use promo code Gavin.
	Make Christmas memorable for your loved ones with tactical walls.
	Thanks, Tactical Tim.
	Who you've met?
	He's been here.
	There is his.
	Now, don't get discouraged by the way Ryan the retard has portrayed his tactical wall.
	He has folded t-shirts.
	The only thing fun and interesting about his wall is my shit, like my please be a fart statue that my wife gave me for our birthday.
	Our birthday, we're identical twins.
	Thanks, Tactical Tim, for your service to this beautiful country here on Veterans Day.
	We'd like to thank Tommy the Ranger for his fantastic service in Afghanistan.
	You can check him out on the free speech show.
	God bless you and your family and everyone at Tactical Walls.
	Thanks for sticking with us.
	We love you guys.
	Thank you for supporting Censor.tv, Two Tactical Walls, and Tactical Tim.
	We're about to go behind the paywall.
	So you guys that have been missing Ryan, you freeloaders, you cannot have him anymore.
	We're taking him away from you.
	What do you think of that?
	I think that's fair.
	I won't even say another word.
	They don't deserve it.
	Frankly, they don't deserve it.
	So to sum up everything, Veterans Day, we had the, what was that called?
	The Paratroopers.
	Oh, Blood on the Risers.
	Blood on the Risers.
	I love that song because it's vets recognizing that I'm not falling for your bullshit.
	I'm happy to be here.
	I'm happy to fight for my country.
	But I know when you talk about glory, glory, that it's very possible that I get tangled up in my parachute and I die.
	So I'm going to make up my own song.
	I think Blood on the Risers was a reinterpretation of an initial song that was about them being heroes.
	And they said, yes, we're heroes, but we also recognize that we could get tangled up and turn into pulp.
	So we'll be singing our version of your song, asshole.
	I like that kind of stuff.
	I like, fuck the police's boss.
	Fuck the top brass.
	Because if there's one thing we've learned with law enforcement and the military in 2021 is they don't support the troops.
	They don't support the grunts, the privates, the cops, the firemen.
	The top brass, the aristocrats who run all of these agencies will not hesitate to throw their boys under the bus.
	Murder them, let them die, lose their pensions.
	They're fucking scumbags and they're part of the elite.
	The captains, the lieutenants, all the fancy guys with the epaulettes, they are the same as the left.
	They're the same as the liberals.
	They're cunts.
	Fuck them.
	You can support the military without supporting the military top brass.
	I don't like the top brass.
	I don't think you should either.
	No one does.
	Anyway, so we're going to go behind the paywall now, and I'm going to say, we're going to take a bunch of calls, answer a bunch of viewer mail, talk to Maddie, celebrate Veterans Day.
	But before we do that, I'd like to say to the freeloaders, subscribe to censored.tv, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	He counted long, he counted long, he waited for the shock.
	He felt the wind, he felt the cold, he felt the awful drum.
	The silk from his reserves filled out and rubbed around his legs.
	And he ain't gonna jump no more.
	Welcome back, paying subscribers.
	I wanted to ask you something, Maddie.
	Yeah.
	So a lot of people are writing books about Prowboys right now simultaneously.
	Huffington Post, a bunch of photo journalists.
	And the contention is that they are a violent street gang.
	And I was thinking about this as I was driving around today.
	If you are a violent street gang and a bunch of journalists call you a violent street gang, isn't that violent street gang going to get violent with you?
	Like, didn't the Hells Angels kill some journalists who were getting too close?
	Oh, that was up in Canada.
	They started targeting journalists that wrote bad about them.
	That was Bouchard.
	What was his name?
	Boucher?
	Maurice Mom Boucher.
	Boucher.
	They called him Mom because they said he used to like nitpick about every little detail about everything.
	Like he was like a helicopter parent.
	He just hovered over everyone.
	He was like making sure everything was.
	Well, it worked.
	The Hells Angels in Quebec were the most powerful gang in the world.
	North America.
	They were doing what they were doing, let me tell you.
	They were no joke.
	But there's gangs where you cannot disparage them.
	You can't write an article about the pagans and call them...
	I'm not even going to say the bad word about the pagans because I'm scared of getting gang.
	There he is right there.
	There he is.
	Maurice.
	But like the pagans, MS-13, like who are the most dangerous gangs in America as far as insulting them goes?
	Well, the club, they'll never call themselves a gang or anything like that.
	I wouldn't, you know, it's a club.
	Gangs, I mean, street gangs are like, you know, bloods, crips, you know, gangster disciples.
	You know, the public gang, there's tons of street gangs.
	I mean, they're in and themselves, they, I don't know how organized they are.
	But if you're a blogger and you write an article about, say, DDP, Dominicans Don't Play, it's not going to play out very well for you.
	I'm sure plenty of people have written bad about MS-13 and stuff, but I haven't heard of anyone attacking journalists and they're so far the danger zone that they don't even count.
	That's bad for business if you start targeting innocent civilians.
	Yeah, right.
	They don't even care.
	Because you just bring more heat.
	You know, you're turning up the heat on yourselves.
	All right, let's do the mailbag for a few minutes before we take calls.
	Ryan, what do you think?
	I think that is a good idea.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes together.
	Let me touch it.
	Okay, I think I'm a little drunk and I'm having trouble locating the mailbag.
	What's your most recent one?
	Is it called Don't Waste My Time?
	Let's see.
	Ryan?
	It is.
	No. 1029.
	Okay, it looks like I got to refresh.
	That's what I'm going to go back for.
	Okay, so you're stupider than me, and you're sober.
	It's not a good sign, my friend.
	Let's see.
	Gavin and Maddie came in at 9.13.
	The fuck?
	It's bad news when we have everyone back.
	The whole thing, my whole pitch for this show was Ryan's back.
	It's super intense, and he's awesome.
	What do you got now?
	A must-read for Gavin and Cole.
	September 27th.
	I'm sorry, folks.
	I got to get it together here.
	Oh, maybe I have to.
	I got to don't waste my time.
	Okay.
	Maybe I have to get mail.
	Yeah, that's what's going on.
	This meme perfectly reflects when Gavin says, when I give you my time, I'm giving you a portion of my life that I can never get back.
	Please don't make me regret it.
	Yeah.
	This is my problem with liars.
	I don't care what you've done.
	I don't care if you're married and you secretly fuck dudes and you have like nine boyfriends.
	Okay, that's it.
	Actually, interesting to me.
	I'd like to hear more about your weird lifestyle.
	But then when you find out they're lying, you go, well, now you wasted my time.
	I was filling in folders in my hard drive and you filled them with shit.
	So now I have to take them out.
	Which brings us to Maddie Odell and his confrontation with Joe Tonelli.
	Oh, the other day, yeah.
	He just pushed me to the limit again.
	He's just sitting there just lying straight to my...
	I go, Joe, you're full of shit.
	You don't...
	You rent a room in a house.
	You don't live in an apartment.
	Oh, no, no, I live in a...
	Motherfucker, people have been to your place.
	You live in the attic of some old lady's house.
	Stop the bullshit.
	And then it just went south from there.
	No, you went south from there.
	You got more and more angry.
	Yeah, because everybody that was sitting there knew the truth.
	But yet he's going to sit there and insult everybody's intelligence.
	Like, we're going to believe a fucking word that you're going to say.
	But we all know what the truth is.
	You're a liar.
	It may be a little worried about you, though, because you, you, dude, you went off like a baby monster.
	You ran across the street.
	You were ready to fight him in the bushes.
	Oh, yeah.
	I told him to come, let's go outside.
	We'll go across the street and we'll take care of it.
	I don't want you going back to jail for something as stupid as beating up a liar.
	Yeah.
	But he has to be put in his place.
	I can't.
	But you had a weird thing you said where you're like, the bass in your voice?
	What was that?
	Oh, because he raised his voice.
	He was like, come on, guys, shut the fuck up.
	Enough already.
	Like, he's trying to be like, yo, try to be a tough guy.
	And then you said something like, don't you raise the bass in your voice, my man.
	I said, oh, you put some bass in your voice.
	He said, I don't know who the fuck you think you're talking to.
	I said, but if you want to fucking get like that, I said, there's nothing but air and opportunity between you and I. I said, you're feeling froggy.
	Fucking jump, motherfucker.
	And that's when I said, let's go the fuck outside, and I'll fucking take you behind the bushes right there, and I'll beat the living fuck out of you.
	Pait, are you getting mad right now just?
	You know what's terrifying?
	When he says shit like, if you want to get froggy, like completely minimizing his anger, it's just like, you're being froggy.
	No, he was like, oh, you're going to fucking kill me.
	I go, no, no, Joe, I'm not going to kill you.
	I'm just going to hurt you really bad.
	I'm going to make you wish you were dead.
	Yeah, you said, I won't kill you.
	I'm just going to hurt you really, really, really, really, really bad.
	I'll hurt you in a way you've never been hurt before.
	And that's true.
	That's true.
	Man, I'm glad we're on the bottom.
	I was worried because I was like, I don't think I can take Maddie.
	So if he comes around the edge of the bar, I'll try to tackle him because I don't want him to hurt Joe.
	But it's not like I can pick up Maddie and carry him out of the bar and say, calm down.
	And I've been also like the recently, because everybody knows he was never in the military.
	Everybody knows he was never a nurse.
	He was never a flight nurse.
	He was never an EMT.
	He was never a fireman.
	He was never any of that.
	But yet, he will then have new customers come in and tell them in front of the people that know it's bullshit.
	Yeah.
	It's like, where the fuck do you get off, man?
	Well, we gasp when he says, don't worry, you got law enforcement behind the bar.
	Oh, yeah.
	We probably never said that.
	People were sitting right here when you said it, Joe.
	You heard it with my own ears, you fucking imbecile.
	Yeah.
	Like, you know, I try to ignore it most of the time, but then there's points where it's just like, you know what, dude, just shut the fuck up.
	No one wants to hear your mouth.
	Yeah.
	Well, the good news is I could tell as a fellow Glaswegian that Maddie was mad to a level where he couldn't get unmad.
	Right.
	So he came back to the bar, and guess what I believe calmed him down, Ryan?
	What's that?
	I showed him your weird little Buddha baby.
	And the key.
	Yeah, I showed him the key picture, and I was like, look, Ryan had his baby.
	And he lost his rage.
	Look at that little thing.
	Yeah.
	She's the cute.
	What is it, one pound?
	Six pounds.
	That's basically one pound.
	Yeah, when you looked at a toe, you said, this is the smallest thing in the world.
	Well, no, I was talking about her baby toe.
	Yes.
	Remember, LEG said that when he's interviewing some physics professor?
	He's like, what was the smallest thing in the world?
	What about a piece of flour, like flour, when you're laying out flour?
	Like, what about that?
	Like, no, the semblance of an atom actually is the smallest.
	Speaking of getting mad and getting good mad.
	Getting good at it, if you will.
	This is a great job for this guy.
	I mean, I think Maddie would excel in this.
	It's ancient news, dude.
	You're lucky I'm not drunk or I'd start whipping coffee at you.
	This is Shizmob and the television show.
	No, this is ancient Chinese secret.
	This guy's been fired, by the way.
	He doesn't work there anymore.
	Oh, man.
	You just discovered this, dude?
	Yeah.
	You're a fucking loser.
	And I gave you a week off.
	I was, you know, catching up on all the things.
	I'm just discovering old shit.
	Yeah, all the things that a man should know.
	That's really disappointing, Ryan.
	Pulling a pistol for no reason, I guess.
	Oh, I got something.
	This will save it.
	Hey, Cabin, Ryan.
	Jerry Springer here, and I just heard from 160.
	And they are offering advice, and I guess I'll join with them in the advice.
	They say don't get fired, stay out of trouble, be better.
	And look, I happen to know and be better.
	And look, listen.
	Probably stop talking in the hang of their time and inspiring to be the best you can be.
	I happen to know that you are both guys of good character.
	And you might both say to me, well, how do I know you're of good character?
	I'll tell you how I know.
	I checked our records, and as I look at them here, let me see.
	Yep.
	Gavin, Ryan, neither of you have ever been on my show.
	That is pretty good.
	And that, of course, is a sign of good character.
	You don't ever want to have been on the show, man.
	That would have been awful.
	So good for you.
	I've been in the look.
	I hope everything works out.
	And the audience of Steve Oaks.
	I hope the rest of 2021 turns out to be this wonderful year.
	In the meantime, take care of yourselves.
	I can't seem to get the mail to work.
	I think I got mine rocking.
	Okay, give us the most recent letter.
	Canada is falling.
	Oh, that sounds intense.
	Hey, Gavin Ryan, here's a picture of the vandalism at my local Cenotaph.
	Is that what's cenotaph?
	In a small town, British Columbia.
	Pretty sick, right?
	Anybody love the show?
	Congrats on your gay baby, Ryan.
	Hey, that's not very nice, Parker.
	How is that not nice?
	You have a problem with your baby being gay?
	Yes.
	That's racist.
	Well, my household.
	That's fucked up.
	Wow.
	Actually, if my daughter was lesbian, I wouldn't care about that.
	That's perfect for today's show.
	Holy shit.
	What does it say?
	The real heroes are the vaccinated.
	Wow.
	On a war memorial.
	Yeah, that's fucking.
	That is fucking balls.
	Isn't that kill people stuff right there?
	They should just shoot them.
	Yeah.
	I mean, it's obviously a 14-year-old.
	It's a 14-year-old asshole with a shitty dad.
	I think we should beat up the dad.
	It was not an adult that did that.
	It's not even well thought out.
	Like, it has no applicability.
	Yeah, what about, okay, say you're super, you're a big COVID person, all that stuff.
	Yes, then the heroes are the vaccinated.
	Great work, guys.
	Thank you.
	But that doesn't really compare to getting on a B-52 and going to some fucking hellhole.
	Paying the ultimate sacrifice and jumping over the hill.
	It's totally different than getting a Hamburger Hill.
	Sorry.
	That's like saying the real heroes are kindergarten teachers.
	Well, yes.
	Thank you, kindergarten teachers, for kindergartening.
	But no.
	Well, the real heroes.
	This shit does not line up.
	No.
	This right here, you know, CNN, they thank the soldiers for their service because they devote themselves to protecting our freedoms, and we should.
	But we should all thank the media for the same reason, especially when the stakes have never been higher.
	Wait, that's not real.
	It's real.
	That cannot be real.
	CNN is taking Veterans Day to thank them for their incredible bravery.
	There's no way they have the audacity to.
	That is a record breaker.
	Holy shit.
	Maybe do that like tomorrow or yesterday, but on Veterans Day to say, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I understand.
	They're like, but what about us?
	April 1st, what about us who sit at our computers all day?
	But we should also thank the media for the same reason.
	Wow.
	Jesus.
	That's actually, I actually commemorate their bravery today.
	That's correct.
	Thank you for your service, CNN.
	That does correct me.
	You are remarkably brave to say that fucking shit on Veterans Day.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	Yep.
	All right, next letter.
	Why don't I understand how to make the letters machine work?
	Oh, wait, apparently it's real.
	CNN op-ed slam for comparing military to media.
	Can I just say one thing I'm positive about?
	That was the woman.
	They have a woman handling their social media.
	She came up with that fucking idea.
	She's a cunt.
	Sorry.
	I'm an anti-Femite.
	Oh, but that was from three years ago.
	It was?
	Yeah.
	There was a date on top of that, 2018.
	Okay, well, we had women.
	Women did exist back then.
	We had women for a long time.
	They've been around longer than three years?
	Women have been around for over 5,000 years.
	Oh, that's a lot.
	Not the most amount of years, though.
	It's true.
	The most amount of years is 7,000 years.
	I was going to say cabillion.
	Okay, next letter.
	Okay, guys.
	Dear Gavin and Fag with a Kid in quotes.
	What's the deal with season two, episode 46 of GOML?
	It's the episode where you pointed out how much of a fag little Steven Van Zandt is when he was I fucking Bruce Bringstein and Gavin worked in his difficult situation and present like you more than a friend.
	He's from North Carolina.
	This is Drew.
	So there's no question at all.
	What's the deal with that?
	What's the deal?
	Huh.
	Fuck you.
	I guess what is the deal?
	What is the deal?
	Hey, Founding Fathers, what's the deal with the Constitution?
	What was that all about?
	Did we just compare ourselves?
	I don't know, read it.
	We just did the CNN thing.
	Yeah.
	We just compared ourselves to the Founding Fathers.
	We appreciate the Founding Fathers creating the Constitution, but we also did some shows where we made fun of stuff and mocked shitty tits and were kind of the same.
	Somebody pointed out that basketball kid, the white basketball kid, he had the same face as Stevie Van Zandt.
	And tell me if you get similar vibes.
	It's coming up in a second here.
	Did you see that?
	It was like a white kid and he was being slammed for just having confidence around black people is basically the gist.
	Let's see it.
	Pull it up.
	I'm searching, searching, searching.
	You can't reference something and not do it.
	I'm going to go see if it's in the back room.
	Hold on.
	If the meme is in the back room?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Just go into the meme closet.
	That's true.
	Now, this episode, unlike the other one, we will be talking.
	Because there was a moment where he just went to the bathroom, Maddie.
	Yeah, I saw that the other day.
	It was dead air.
	It was like dead air for like four minutes.
	I was like, oh my God, what's he doing?
	It was a long time.
	I thought it was going to be a quick little slash, as they say.
	Yeah, he's going for a slash.
	But he pulled an axle rose instead.
	Yeah.
	I was like, you are correct.
	Dude, I saw the cringiest thing on Libs of TikTok, and it got taken down.
	And it's probably better for humanity that it did.
	All right, let's take some calls.
	Oh, shit.
	Yeah, let's get some calls.
	Make it work.
	Oh, Ryan, we need the whole little plugs.
	Does Maddie have the plugs?
	You're back here now.
	He's got the mic plug.
	Okay.
	That makes him the bestest.
	And here we go.
	Let me give you yours.
	What's all the grunting going on?
	You're a young man.
	Did you get your Lyme disease test by Loeb?
	No, my insurance has just kicked in, though.
	So that's pretty nice.
	I just got my Aetna card.
	The first time it didn't work for my TDAP shots, but we called and we cleared it up.
	And I now officially have the card.
	Which is very exciting.
	Okay, here we go.
	That sounds like garbage stuff.
	Get off my lawn show.
	Here we go.
	Okay, here we are.
	Here we go.
	Do you know anyone, Maddie, from your old life that watches this show?
	Not that I'm aware of.
	So that's zero?
	Yeah, probably.
	Huh.
	That hurts me.
	Yeah, that is painful.
	What about your son?
	What does he say about the show?
	He'll catch it.
	Like, if he's hanging around with me, I'll throw a show on or whatever and see if he catches it.
	But, you know, he's 26 and into his cars and his girls and running around like a madman.
	Well, this show could also be enjoyed by people that are cool.
	Yeah.
	I'm cool.
	I like bikes and girls.
	You're not cool.
	What the fuck?
	Did you see my outfit?
	Yeah, you were cool when you showed up today, but you're not cool anymore.
	Remember the hat?
	Yeah, it's all gone.
	And the glasses, too.
	Remember?
	Yeah.
	It's all gone.
	15 minutes have faded.
	It was great while it lasted.
	It was awesome.
	Yeah, it was cool.
	The girls were going crazy in the middle.
	They did, right?
	The part with the girls.
	Let's get some calls.
	Alright, uh.
	Henry.
	Henry, you're on the line.
	Oh, you gotta say hello to them.
	Oh, what's up, Henry?
	Hi, Henry.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	And not Heil, Henry.
	Hi.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	I'm making a Switch thing here.
	Okay, I'm getting a freeze thing from my system preferences.
	And now we're going to be good in 5, 4, 3.
	Hello.
	Wait a second.
	Are you fucking with us, sir?
	Hello?
	I think he's fucking with us.
	I don't think he is, Ryan.
	Is this a joke?
	Hello?
	If this is a joke, then this guy's pretty funny, I gotta admit.
	Is this a funny joke, sir, or is this real life, actually?
	Because I'm gonna disconnect.
	Joke, you're good at joking.
	Anyway, next call.
	Okay.
	Dropping him.
	Dropping.
	Dropping.
	Hey.
	Yo.
	Hello?
	What's going on?
	Hello?
	This show's not going on.
	Hey, turn off your fucking thing so we can talk to you, please.
	Is your thing on?
	We're listening to ourselves two minutes ago.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Hey.
	Yo.
	Now, I'm getting mad at the callers, but I shouldn't be because this is my fault.
	This is my technology.
	This is Ryan.
	This is our side.
	Okay, I'm going to do a thing where I reconnect to the server.
	I'll start over.
	Ready?
	Connect to show.
	Let me just go through some things while we do that.
	It's from the Cullen Studio Web Interface.
	Thanks, Ryan.
	So glad to have you back.
	Hello, boys.
	I found this on TikTok.
	It's an interesting commercial, especially from a pro-life stance, because we shouldn't be promoting abortions for special needs babies.
	Children are always a gift.
	However, I feel like the commercial also turns these people into pets in a way by showing them cursing so much.
	Like, oh, look at them cursing and being funny like real people.
	To know how I feel about it, what do you think?
	Mixed emotions.
	And then, of course, it's called Open Future on TikTok, which Ryan can't get to.
	Open Future on TikTok.
	Or maybe you can.
	The subject of this one is Pro-Life Pro Down Syndrome Commercial.
	Uh-oh, this show is fucking tanking, dude.
	Oh, here we go.
	This is Beverly Hills.
	Are you sure this is a record?
	Open Future.
	I find the...
	You can say almost anything.
	Like, holy shit.
	You just had a baby.
	Congrats, you fucking relations.
	She's so cute, I want to barf.
	Well, there goes your sex life.
	You just squeezed out a human.
	Does your vagina hurt?
	I hope you are ready for lots of kitty diaper.
	Behold the miracle of barking life.
	See, you can say almost anything.
	The truth is the only bad word is sorry.
	You're supposed to be celebrating.
	Woohoo!
	So don't be sorry about a baby.
	Be happy.
	Because every baby deserves a warm fucking welcome.
	Yeah, I'm actually pretty cool with that.
	I don't mind that.
	What do you hate retarded people?
	Yeah, you're allowed to have adults with Down syndrome swear.
	That's reasonable.
	Shweo.
	Deke Schweio.
	Hello, 765.
	Hello, hello.
	Let's do this.
	The other person is going to.
	Hey, what's up, fellas?
	Hey, buddy.
	How you doing?
	I'm well.
	How are you?
	We're good.
	So first of all, listener, man.
	I think Maddie Odell's a great contribution to the show, man.
	Absolutely.
	I agree.
	I do appreciate it.
	Yep.
	Yeah, you're badass, man.
	You're cool.
	I'm sure you've got a hell of a lot of good stories.
	I just wanted to say happy Veterans Day.
	Jesus Christ.
	I wanted to say also that if I was a veteran, I would be fucking pissed at how this country is presenting itself on the world stage.
	Our leaders, the administration, what the fuck is going on?
	I'm just fucking non-plussed by everything, man.
	I just want to fucking...
	I'm just fucking pissed.
	All I can say.
	Well, we've got a veteran here.
	Tommy, how do you feel about pulling the troops out of Afghanistan and the general demeanor of the President of the United States?
	Step up to Maddie's mic?
	Yeah, go up to Maddie's mic.
	The whole fucking thing, the pullout in and of itself, was the whole pullout was a fucking disaster.
	They could have done it way better.
	They shouldn't have pulled out a bit.
	Unmitigated disaster.
	Absolutely.
	Unmitigated.
	And then, not to mention everything that's been going on.
	So I got back in when I signed up in 2010.
	They were already laying waste to what was already a very good tradition of warfighting skills that were being passed down.
	Between introducing females, lowering standards and everything like that.
	They have totally fucked up the whole fucking thing from the get-go.
	Yeah, so to answer your question, yes, I am pissed.
	I'm glad you're pissed too because it's a fucking abomination of what's going on right now.
	Oh, yeah, man.
	My adrenaline is just, I can't stand it.
	I can't stand the way you guys are disrespected and pissed on.
	You should all get together.
	And man, just, I don't know what the fuck you guys could do together, but I'm sure it would be amazing.
	You guys could do something with all that power.
	Well, listen, the veteran community is doing well.
	It's taken off in many capacities.
	You guys call me the Ranger.
	Yeah.
	Listen.
	Oh, no shit, man.
	You're a badass dude.
	I watched that special with you.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, I was here.
	That's right.
	Listen, man, I wouldn't worry about veterans in general.
	I think they're going to do what they need to do.
	My biggest concern is what they're pumping out in their training regimen of creating warfighters or people that might necessarily pull the trigger.
	It's support people as well.
	They're creating a derelict class of fucking people that have no critical thinking skills.
	In fact, they don't even promote that.
	They shun and they don't allow people with critical thought in the military.
	You have to follow it.
	It's a weird little socialist society that somehow works.
	Well, one, because whatever rights that you do sign up for are kind of taken away from you and you have to abide by the system.
	And that's all that it is.
	People that get along with it, you know, and play within the rules, play the game, as the old drill starting used to say, you know, you can excel.
	But when you start thinking outside the box, that's when they start tagging you.
	And it's unfortunate.
	Oh, man, that is just, oh, that's insane to think about.
	That's crazy.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling, buddy.
	Yeah.
	Thanks, bud.
	Yep.
	Am I the only one that was walking on eggshells thinking he was about to make it some sort of prank call?
	Say, yeah, fuck you.
	No, he sounded pretty sincere.
	Yeah.
	I was dubious.
	Stern or something like that.
	Yeah.
	Selling antiques.
	All right, next call.
	So you know that's a hot mic.
	Oh, yeah, you know, I'm going to potcha down.
	All right.
	Matt, Veterans Day Doodle.
	Yeah, how's it going, eh?
	How's it going, dude?
	What's going on?
	Hey, how's it going, man?
	Hey, I sent in an email, like, I don't know, maybe about eight year time.
	It was with the Google Veterans Day doodle.
	So, first of all, they pretend they care about Veterans Day, which we know they don't.
	But then they have a picture of six veterans, and four of them are people of color.
	One's a bizarre lesbian-looking woman.
	And then the one white male has a long beard, and he's a biker.
	He's a biker, and he has one arm, which we know is code for racist for them.
	And it was just classic Google.
	That's how they say that.
	Isn't it weird that the white man has to be somehow incapacitated?
	Like, he can't have functioning limbs.
	Well, and they have like, so it's like half in their military uniform and half in their whatever, I guess, their other life uniform.
	And like, the black woman's a doctor.
	The black guy's a businessman.
	The other black guy's an artist.
	The weird lesbian's a businesswoman.
	The fucking short, fat Asian guy is a cupcake maker, which I don't understand.
	And then, yeah, then the white guy's like, ah, old biker with one arm.
	Fuck that guy.
	I guess, wait a minute.
	Isn't the lesbian...
	She seems to have a steel hand.
	Yeah, it looks like she's got a prosthetic hand.
	Yeah, I couldn't tell what the fuck was going on with that one.
	I didn't know if it was a dude, a lesbian.
	No, you know what?
	That's just a white glove.
	It's just a white glove.
	So the only incapacitated person is the white male.
	You got his robot arm.
	And he's got nothing going on.
	He's just a biker.
	He's not in the military.
	He's got no job.
	He's not a doctor.
	He's not a surgeon.
	He's just like tooling around on his motorbike.
	Who's that fucking guy?
	Where is he in the military?
	And then there's the weird little Pilipina in the corner making cupcakes.
	God damn it.
	That shit's so fucking tiring.
	It's not like when we see a black veteran or a Filipina veteran, we get mad.
	No one gives a shit about the diversity of veterans.
	It's when it's hammered down your throat and the white guy's the loser and you go, all right, this is number 3042.
	It's getting tedious.
	Stop.
	Because the subtext is that you're annoyed by this.
	And I'm thinking outside the box and shocking you.
	When I show a black artist, the subtext is, oh, what?
	You didn't think a black guy could be a painter?
	No, I know.
	Black guys are painters.
	There's the dude who did the fucking Obama thing.
	There's lots of black painters.
	It's not new to me.
	I'm familiar with black painters.
	That's fine.
	But when you present it, like, oh, yeah, what the fuck now, bitch?
	Look, I'm painting.
	That's when it gets annoying.
	This is good news, though.
	Hey, look, Snope says, did CNN compare journalists to soldiers on Veterans Day?
	No, well, not really.
	It's out.
	Oh, it's outdated.
	Oh, okay.
	Wait, isn't it Veterans Day?
	Oh, this was like 18, right?
	This is 2018 on August 3rd.
	So, hey, they did say that, but it wasn't on Veterans Day.
	Dude, stop talking about it.
	The statement still stands as fucked up and misleading.
	It's misleading.
	Wow.
	Because it was a long time ago.
	They're coming up with new ones.
	Outdated?
	I'd not seen that one.
	Is World War I outdated?
	It's outdated.
	Did Hitler kill six million Jews?
	Technically, but it's outdated.
	But a while ago.
	Let's stop talking about it.
	That's old shit.
	Okay.
	I'm all for that.
	And here's some black paintings.
	Those are amazing.
	That's better than Julia Louise Dreyfus's dad's.
	Black guy.
	Okay, next call.
	Can I get a shot?
	Anyone got a shot?
	Um, Drew.
	What's up, guys?
	What's up, dude?
	We got a lot of dudes calling in tonight.
	Okay, what's up, faggot?
	Oh, I'm the one that...
	I'm kidding.
	I'm kidding.
	I'm the one that emailed about the Steven Van Zan episode.
	Oh, okay.
	It's, it's, I didn't lay this out clearly.
	It's missing.
	Oh.
	Wait, what do you mean?
	It's missing.
	It's not in the, like, if you go back through the seasons, it's not in there.
	It jumps over that episode.
	And that's a great fucking episode.
	And why is that?
	I don't know.
	That's why I'm trying to bring it to your attention.
	Wait, what's going on?
	So they randomly killed an episode for no political reason whatsoever?
	I don't know.
	It's your platform.
	And censor.tv.
	Scroll back through season two.
	Now episode 46 is her.
	One of those episodes is not in your system.
	I think I might know what it is.
	I think the guest threatened to sue me.
	And she was going to bring all of this shit from our interview into the courtroom.
	So I killed it so she wouldn't have evidence.
	You know what?
	I could do a re-edit.
	Yeah, we'll put it in the middle.
	This episode's fucking ass, but that's a great episode.
	It was.
	People get mad at us for killing the Joe Biggs episodes, but I don't want to give the prosecution fodder.
	So why bother?
	I mean, so much of Max and John's trial was based on shit I said in my show.
	And the fucking NYPD actually made Keith the cop give them a bunch of hard drives full of content.
	So yeah, the less shit we give them, the better.
	Anyway, next caller.
	Thanks for calling.
	I found the Stevie Van Zant face, but overall, it's problematic.
	So viewers, be warned.
	This is really far from a fully articulated thought, but it's interesting to me that like everyone's favorite guys right now, which I would say is this guy and Jack Harlow, are like white guys who are comfortable in the world.
	You're white, by the way.
	Yeah, what?
	And you were raised by your white mom.
	Your black dad abandoned you.
	Sorry.
	Are you an Italian with a tan?
	Sorry, your black dad's not around.
	I'm saying this is not a fully articulated thought.
	No shit.
	But there's something about that.
	White guys wants to be.
	And like, especially in the case of Jack Harlow, like not just comfortable, but almost seeming to prefer it.
	Yeah.
	It's Ohio State.
	But also, it's Japanese.
	It's Japanese and black, you stupid bitch.
	And I'm not bananas about it either.
	Wait, what's Japanese, huh?
	I wish it was country music.
	But anyway.
	Next call.
	All right, we got Kenneth on the line.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Yo, I was actually the first caller.
	What happened, man?
	Oh, I was the first carer.
	And you know what happened?
	I didn't.
	Anyways, it was unfortunate we had to bear the brunt of Ryan's absence on Monday, but we're glad he's here.
	Well, we didn't have the luxury of tolerating the myths and the lies and the legends.
	The myths and legends.
	Because we had to bear the brunt of it.
	That's correct.
	Exactly.
	Oh, I totally understand your story.
	All right.
	You know what you just did, you asshole?
	You made us pause the show, and now we have to watch Eddie Gloud because it's my favorite thing in the world.
	And it's like you mentioned Louie Louie to the Kingsmen, and of course they have to fucking hit the keyboard and go, come on, man.
	Dig it up.
	First of all, speaking of.
	Sorry, I'm not kidding.
	I have to watch it now.
	If you could hold, please.
	We're watching.
	We can't blame it on him.
	He's a manifestation.
	Either we're going to change Nicole to bear the brunt of them.
	No worries these days.
	I've had the privilege of growing up in a tradition that didn't believe in the myths and the legends because we had to bear the brunt of them.
	Either we're going to change Nicole or we're going to do this again.
	Don't say anything, Nicole.
	You're fired.
	These are going to have to grow up without mothers and fathers, uncles and aunts, friends, while we're trying to convince white folk to finally leave behind a history that will maybe, maybe, or embrace a history that might set them free from being white.
	Oh, you got a little grungy.
	Set me free.
	You might be white.
	Shut my free.
	Lord help us.
	Hey there, I'm Chris Hayes from MSNBC.
	Wait, that wasn't even the whole thing.
	The country's been playing politics for a long time on this hatred.
	We know this.
	So it's easy for us to place it all on Donald Trump's shoulders.
	It's easy for us to place Pittsburgh on his shoulders.
	It's easy for me to place it on your shoulders, Eddie.
	Place El Paso on his shoulders.
	This is us.
	And if we're going to get past this, we can't blame it on him.
	He's a manifestation of the ugliness that's in us.
	He's pointing at the guy next to him.
	The guy next to him is like, what the fuck?
	What did I do?
	As he's pointing at all the white people, I'm a liberal.
	I got you this gig.
	I hired you.
	I put in the words.
	I was the one who said we should get Eddie Gloud on the show.
	Were you born after 1970?
	Why?
	Because you got nothing fucking coming.
	Yes.
	By the way, Gloud is literally, I'm not joking, Gloud is Latin for lame.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	Gloud is Latin for lame.
	It's as though the actual verbiage was trying to wake us up to what is going on before our eyes.
	I didn't have the luxury of ignoring the translations of the last names until I looked it up and I saw Gloud was lame.
	This is insane.
	We have black professors from Harvard who teach African American studies who wear fake prescription glasses with blue frames on them.
	Those are not their fucking glasses.
	And they're on MSNBC bullshitting.
	I said that to a friend of mine.
	He's like, dude, Al Sharpton watches that guy and just drools.
	He has fucking snatched the pebble from Al Sharpton's hand.
	Al Sharpton is like, that was good.
	He's got the sprinkle hard.
	Juicy School A. All right, back to that original caller.
	Did you hang up on him?
	No.
	He's right here.
	Can you hear me?
	Yes.
	Sorry you had to bear the burden of that.
	Yeah, don't bring up Eddie Gloud if you don't want a five-minute fucking detour.
	No, no, it's not a five-minute detour.
	I just highly recommend watching the Christopher Hitchens conversation from start to finish.
	It's hard not to beat off to it.
	It's just, it's great.
	Wait, which particular one?
	The guy was, there's more than one Christopher Hitchens conversation with Eddie Gloud.
	Oh, shit.
	I don't know.
	It was just really fun.
	Oh, this rings the bell, yes.
	Yeah, I remember this.
	Eddie Gloud was doing that shit he just did, where he's like, bear the brunt of it.
	We had to.
	And Chris Richard's like, none of that is actual words.
	Nothing you've just said makes any sense.
	There's no actual sentence there.
	There's no point.
	I can't react to it because there's nothing happening.
	Yeah, I remember that.
	I've seen that interview.
	Which is the biggest diss ever.
	I don't know why, but when somebody says, I'm confused, like they don't even get it.
	No, but it's so true.
	Like, that shit that Eddie Gloud just said with bear the brunt of it.
	Like, what?
	If you're a high school teacher and that was an essay that someone submitted to you, you just be there with your red pen going, well, that means nothing.
	That means nothing.
	That means nothing.
	Like, what the fuck are you saying, Ed?
	Edward?
	You need a point.
	What I was trying to suggest is that I don't understand a word you're saying.
	Bring critique to bear?
	What are you doing?
	None of those words, however arranged, had any content to me.
	I'm very sorry.
	Hold it right there.
	Everything you've just said is that.
	None of those words, however arranged, have any content to me is maybe the most mic droppiest.
	Critique to bear.
	Like, isn't that academia in a nutshell?
	They just have these fancy words.
	Bring critique to bear.
	What?
	Like, you, to bear, like, to criticize.
	So bring critique to a level where it's criticized.
	So we're criticizing critique.
	What are you talking about, Eddie?
	And you know that in his classrooms at Harvard, when he's teaching African-American studies, everyone's just like, oh my God, let's bring critique to bear.
	Let's bear the brunt of it.
	He loves bearing stuff.
	He loves bearing.
	I call him the legends.
	Brunt of it bear.
	Yeah, if he ever joins the one Benjamin, he's going to be brunt of it bear.
	We lived in a family that didn't have to live in the legends because we had to bear the brunt of them.
	We couldn't indulge in the midst of the legends because we had to bear the brunt of it.
	Now, I grew up.
	I grew up in.
	I want to do my dissertation.
	I want to do my PhD on two minutes of Eddie Gloud talking.
	That will be my research essay.
	It'll be 77,000 words of me trying to understand what the fuck this clown is talking about.
	Bear the brunt of it.
	We couldn't indulge in the myths and the legends.
	So by the way, I do speak a bit of Eddie.
	What he's saying is, as a black family, we couldn't indulge in the myth of equality because we had to bear the brunt of racism and prejudice.
	Which I'm sure is not true.
	If he's a fucking professor at Harvard, he was probably a middle-class black dude in Brooklyn that was getting blown on a minutely basis for being normal.
	And I think I know why.
	And I think I know why.
	Next colour.
	Are we going to put those shirts on the market?
	Your shirts?
	Yeah.
	Ryan, I don't see how we can.
	The Bear of the Bronx.
	They're so bad.
	The Bear of the Bronx.
	They're devoid of irony.
	And I think I know why.
	I think, well, let's talk to our shirt guy about setting up something where we'll call it a potential shirt.
	And if it gets more than like 10 orders, then we print it.
	But it's a stupid shirt because there's no irony.
	Our Biden shirts, let me just go get one.
	Our Biden shirts have irony.
	Let me explain to you how humor works.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Oops.
	So you see this at first glance and you go, oh, this guy loves Biden.
	And it's sort of like, let's go, Brandon.
	And then you read it and it says, I pledge allegiance to the United States of America, one nation indivisible under God, for real.
	And you go, oh, wait a minute.
	That guy's mocking the president.
	But it takes a minute.
	Your shirts are just reverent shirts to the guys we make fun of.
	Like, pull one of them up.
	Pull up to bear the brunt of it.
	And I haven't had the privilege.
	I haven't had the courtesy of dealing with your shitty shirts because I've had to bear the brunt of them.
	You did have to bear the brunt.
	That is fair.
	I've had to bear the brunt of you.
	Let's see.
	I think I got them.
	Oh, here we go.
	Yes.
	Like, I've had the privilege of growing up in a tradition that didn't believe in the missing legends because we had to bear the brunt of them.
	It's weird that you made it M instead of them, by the way.
	That's...
	Like, I don't get the joke.
	It's like, imagine that it's very, very inside.
	It's for...
	Not meta.
	It's for only our subscribers who want to, who don't want to, who don't mind looking like Eddie Gloud fans.
	So you basically made a shirt for 30 people?
	And I think I know why.
	This one's a little more.
	Maddie might buy it.
	Would you?
	I think I know why.
	We've got like five guys who want your shirts.
	Burgers and fries.
	Anyway, let's take another call.
	Okay.
	Hopefully we don't have to bear the brunt of bad connection.
	Oh, man.
	Here we go.
	We have to bear the brunt of it.
	I love, and Ryan actually turned me on, to his credit, turned me on to this point, where Eddie's doing his diatribe and he touches the guy next to him, like touches his arm.
	Yeah.
	He has his precious hand.
	And the guy's like.
	Go ahead.
	Uhuru.
	Uhuru.
	Hey, so real quick, my younger brother, 22 years old, blue-collar type, just got his first girlfriend.
	Real proud of him.
	But I don't really got any advice from him.
	And I'm looking to see if maybe you got some safe advice for this young man kind of going into his first relationship.
	I know he doesn't want to fuck it up.
	Okay, well, that's tricky.
	22, first relationship.
	22.
	Like what's the same?
	He's giving advice to 14-year-olds.
	Right, but he's been kind of like work-focused, work-minded his whole life.
	So he's been too busy to get laid for 10 years?
	Yeah, and I mean, like, kind of listening to some of the older stuff you were talking about, you know, back in the early days of meet your wife one night.
	You kind of wish you would have settled down sooner.
	You didn't have to fuck all those women, you know.
	Once you find a good thing, you kind of go for it.
	So he's been fucking tons of women?
	Not necessarily, no.
	Oh, man.
	So he took my advice about the whole, like, fuck a bunch of chicks when you're young and then settle down, but he didn't do the first part.
	Exactly.
	So he's a fag.
	22 is still pretty young.
	22?
	You got to get out there and get some.
	22.
	Like, my dick was bored of pussy at that age.
	Okay, let me try to reassess the fact that he's not gay.
	Maybe he's a devout Christian.
	Is he super Christian?
	Is that what we're missing out?
	Is he Amish?
	That's exactly the type we're going for.
	Call him the Quintus.
	Okay, so he's like a hyper-Catholic dude.
	Exactly.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, you may want to mention that at the beginning.
	Sure, I'll leave with that.
	Okay, so I don't really have tons of advice for those guys because they're better at life than me.
	I would just say, like, learn to shut your mouth.
	Don't talk to her too much.
	You know when Billy Joel said, tell her about it, tell her all your crazy dreams?
	He got divorced after that song.
	Don't tell her about it.
	Don't tell her all your crazy dreams.
	She's not your friend.
	If you want to talk to friends, go to your local bar.
	Go talk to Jose and Joe Tonelli Style.
	And Lisa Doggy Style.
	Actually, literally, I'm not joking.
	I would rather tell Lisa Doggy style my problems than fucking my own wife.
	Because you tell your wife, your wife's the enemy.
	They're the opposition.
	So you don't give the opposition weapons against you.
	You're constantly courting them.
	You don't fart.
	You know the rule about farting.
	You put your fingers on your anal lips and open it up and go...
	You don't want to hear her fart.
	You don't want her to hear you fart.
	You don't share the bathroom.
	You don't give her artillery.
	Artillery.
	I think I might be getting drunk.
	So yeah, I would just say, remain a porcupine.
	Keep your quills pointed outwards and don't relax.
	That would be my...
	Sure.
	My wife never had the privilege of dealing with the farts and the toots because I had to spread the butt of them.
	You had to spread the butt of them?
	I had to spread the butt of them.
	If we are going to heal, we have to spread the butt cheeks open so you don't fart lap it.
	Otherwise, a blowjob loses wings.
	I'm a little disappointed you were influenced by Planet of the Apes for that imitation.
	That's not cool.
	Next call.
	Okay.
	Did we lose Tommy?
	Nope.
	We've got Alex.
	What's going on, Alex?
	Hey, what's up, guys?
	Holy phone.
	Hey, man.
	Thanks for calling us from the 70s.
	Thanks, man.
	That's definitely a candle soup cane in the stream.
	Jesus Christ, sir.
	My lord.
	Where do you see what 2021 is like?
	It's basically the same, but it's less intellectually adventurous.
	Less masculine.
	We don't want to waste your quarters.
	Your cards look shittier.
	You're actually not going to be very impressed.
	What the fuck is happening, man?
	What's that?
	Why are all these black dudes doing white guy jobs?
	What the fuck?
	Could you be more specific?
	Could you be more specific, as black people say?
	Not very good at specific.
	Okay, goodbye.
	Goodbye.
	Each child, sir.
	It's okay.
	You're questioning your fucking connection sex.
	We don't usually get to talk to a different time.
	Yeah, the 70s suck.
	It sounds like a lot of people.
	It's kind of like you tend to glorify your past.
	Like, I got the SCTV box set, and I was like, boy, when I was a kid, we used to laugh our heads off at this.
	And then I put it in, and I went, this is not funny.
	This sucks.
	I had cherry-picked a few funny memories, and they're not good.
	There's a couple things that stand up, like Animal House, Lenny Bruce.
	They stand up to the test of time.
	Mitch Hedberg.
	But a lot of shit, you plug it back into your various machines and you go, this is not interesting.
	Even SNL with Jim Belushi and John Belushi, like cheeseburger, cheeseburger.
	It's not funny.
	Eddie Murphy.
	Do you like it?
	Did you?
	I remember that being funny.
	It's not.
	It's not.
	No.
	Father Guido Sarducci?
	Like, I find the character endearing, but it's not funny.
	Stinky.
	Stinky.
	We got Kyle Ritten.
	Well, not Kyle Rittenhouse.
	Kyle Rittenhouse?
	No, unfortunately.
	I talked to him on the phone once.
	No shit.
	Yeah, I said, when you go to Kenosha, kill people.
	Oh, wow.
	When was that, though?
	That was actually four.
	It was three weeks ago, no.
	The day before.
	Allegedly.
	It's a joke.
	FBI.
	You're on the line.
	Do with that what you will.
	Hopefully it's tough.
	Hello, Faggot.
	Hello?
	Jesus.
	Are you shy?
	Anybody there?
	Are you having a panic attack?
	Are you a shy guy?
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Can you hear me?
	Yeah, what's happening?
	Yep.
	Hey, so I was originally about to make this about Kyle Renthouse, but I'm going to make it about the police shootings.
	Okay.
	Thanks for telling us your thought process so we can go through it with you.
	Alright, so there's a YouTube channel.
	It's called Police Activity.
	It has all the uncensored dash cam footage and the body cam.
	Okay.
	Police activity.
	And then what else are we searching?
	That's just the name of the channel, right?
	Are you per chance on the spectrum, sir?
	Okay.
	Had a call from the 70s.
	Now we have a call with the IQ of 70.
	No, no.
	This is the testosterone of 70.
	What's going on, dude?
	What the fuck are you calling for?
	What do you want?
	What about you?
	No, nobody cares what you're saying, Parrot.
	What are we looking up?
	I don't know.
	Just this whole channel, I guess it's.
	Yeah, just go to YouTube and check out some videos.
	Thanks, buddy.
	All right, next call.
	That is a fire ass channel, though, it looks like.
	Fire ass.
	Are you serious when you say that?
	No.
	You don't even know?
	I do.
	You don't know when you're kidding.
	That's true.
	My name is Mike Sliding Away.
	Go ahead.
	Go ahead, Mike.
	Hey, what's up, guys?
	What's up, dog?
	So this is more of a warning story about how crazy it is out there right now.
	Yeah, callers, stop introducing your question.
	We're not opening up a book called This Call.
	So just dive into it.
	We don't need an epilogue or a foreword or a book cover.
	Just say what you're going to say.
	I don't need to know what it was originally going to be and now what it is now or what the context is.
	Just say like my mother farted last week.
	All right.
	So I was at my local recently.
	I just got my Let's Go Brandon t-shirt.
	Nice.
	Gotcha.
	And conversation got struck up and disagreed with the girl and started talking about my views and stuff.
	And that was that.
	Ended, went home.
	And then things started happening.
	Shit started happening at my house.
	Fireworks started getting shot in my house.
	Oh, shit.
	Yeah, yeah.
	This went from boring to interesting real fast.
	What town are you in?
	I don't really want to say right now because my phone got cloned.
	The cops got involved.
	Well, just say, like, the city.
	His phone got cloned.
	Okay.
	Upstate New York.
	Wow.
	So you're at a bar in upstate New York.
	You're talking, blah, blah, blah.
	You make it clear that you don't like Antifa.
	You go home.
	And then your fucking house starts lighting up.
	Yes.
	That's crazy.
	I start getting, yeah, and then I start getting followed by the police.
	What?
	Wait, so the police are on their side?
	Well, my phone started getting, well, my phone got hacked.
	I wouldn't say get hacked.
	I got cloned.
	Did you say that you're a proud boy?
	No, no, no, no.
	I didn't mention...
	Well, I mentioned my views.
	Like, I didn't stand down.
	Are you a proud boy?
	I'm not going to say anything, but I'm...
	So she started talking, and I'm not going to just stand by and express my views.
	Be brave, whatever.
	and I was wearing my Let's Go Brandon t-shirt.
	It was like two days after I got in the mail from you guys.
	So, like, I mean, literally, like, two days after shit started happening.
	This isn't a good advertisement for you.
	Oh, dude, it was fucking nuts.
	It was nuts.
	So, what?
	I mean, I couldn't go anywhere.
	Can I ask real quick, what does cloning mean?
	Cloning is when you're doing that.
	Yeah, for someone who had done that to your phone, they had to have physical access to it.
	What's that?
	I said, for someone to clone your phone, you need physical access to your phone.
	Well, that's the thing.
	So I'm in college right now.
	I have like a loner laptop.
	And I connect my, yeah, but my phone is, I always connect my phone to my laptop.
	And I'm telling you, I mean, they were set up.
	I mean, I was like everywhere I went, I was being watched.
	I mean, everywhere.
	For three weeks, my whole life was fucked up.
	Well, you know what we have to do?
	And I think you can do this, but we can all do this, is we have to rape that chick.
	What will that come up?
	You were on the air.
	This is a fucking loser.
	You want me to learn here?
	We're going to rape her.
	Don't worry about it.
	Why does the one get calling things?
	You have one thing.
	Thank you for calling.
	Getting vilified for our political beliefs, and it's time to get away from.
	You were on the air.
	This is a fucking loser.
	Why did the fucking rape things?
	You have one thing.
	Thank you for calling.
	Alright, next call.
	And never stop raping.
	We're not going to end up with the ring.
	This is a fucking loser.
	You got one thing.
	Thank you for calling.
	Alright, next call with the mainstream normies is like the 70s and 80s and stuff like that.
	You are on the air.
	This is a fucking loser.
	Hey, why does everyone get two things?
	You have one thing.
	It's not a thing if you're naive and a normal night's wipe where you can.
	This is a fucking loser.
	Hey, why does everyone get two things?
	You have one thing.
	Thank you for calling.
	All right, next call.
	That's what he said.
	Somebody was saying that he's going to get raped.
	You are on the air.
	It's good that these people, these leftists, is a defensive loser.
	And offensive talk.
	And then when it's their enemies, they're like, fucking rape his ass.
	Can't wait for him to fucking get raped.
	Yeah.
	Well, they put up murals all over New York City of Putin French kissing Trump.
	Like, they assume we're homophobes.
	So we see that and we go, oh my God.
	Meanwhile, we just look at it and go, all right, so you want those guys to be making out like that?
	They think it's like their ultimate insult to homosexuality.
	Which says a lot about them.
	All right, next call.
	For people that missed that, so I played this, I had this background, the thanks for calling background.
	And it was playing, the audio was playing over.
	So basically we said, in jail, there are people that give up their butts.
	So we lost that whole audio?
	It said, somebody said a minute.
	You moron.
	I'm so glad you're back.
	Thanks.
	So, yeah, Maddie was saying the prison rape thing isn't a thing really anymore.
	It's not just a lot of homos giving it up for free.
	And then I said, I just think it's strange that that's something that you go to.
	And when I say you, I mean the left.
	You can't wait to jump to the whole like Bubba's going to rape your ass.
	Like James O'Keefe, anytime there's someone on the right is facing jail time, they jump to rape jokes, which I love all jokes, especially offensive jokes.
	But I just find it funny that they're okay with that.
	So that's the recap of Ryan's audio fuck up.
	Direct.
	They're a party of understanding.
	No.
	So that song was on a loop while we were talking.
	Yeah.
	My son's on the cover of a magazine.
	Can you properly do that with your face, sir?
	It's not easy.
	My son's on the cover of a magazine.
	Oh, you said he made this.
	Hey, so I've called it.
	This is my yearly tradition now to call into the war movie Vets Veterans Day.
	Oh, great.
	But yeah, I'll make it real quick.
	So my theory I've had for a few years.
	I was in the retired army and all that goodness.
	Dude, you're not retarded, Army.
	You're a great Army vet.
	And you're not the smartest guy in the world, but you're not retarded.
	Oh, well, some people have told me that.
	But anyways, my theory is why the last, what, 10-year period that we've had freaking all these lefties and SJWs, they want to have so much attention and be revered.
	And the gay rights is really amped up was, I think my personal theory is that they saw how much freaking celebration the military was getting for all during the wars and the years, and they were freaking jealous.
	And they wanted that.
	It's just a theory I had.
	I don't know what you think of that.
	I don't hate it.
	They want to be the new war vets.
	They want the new thank you for your service.
	We were pretty much, for the most part, I mean, you could argue the whole pronouns thing is their interpretation of thank you for your service.
	Like, you have to say a thing when you're around me.
	And I've been paying attention.
	I've been paying attention to this stuff since the early Code Peak days, like all the way back from the beginning.
	I went through four presidents in the Army.
	So I joined them when Clinton was president.
	So like, I've seen it all.
	And have you noticed that they've infiltrated the military, too?
	Well, say it again.
	So we're talking about these people as civilians, but they're also in the military now.
	Well, the military has its own issue with, you know, about the stolen valor stuff, but they have a stolen valor in the military.
	So you have people that are pogues that didn't do combat or whatever, run some boring job, and they'll pretend to be that they were actual, you know, important in the military when they weren't.
	So you have that issue within the military.
	Then you have the civilians that pretend to be with the official stolen valor.
	But there's military stolen valor as well.
	It's weird with people that are in the military.
	No, tell me about it.
	As a war movie vet, I'll talk to people that say they're war movie vets also, and then I'll ask them what they've seen, and they'll be like, full metal jacket.
	And I'm like, everyone's seen full metal jacket, dude.
	You're not a war movie vet.
	You have to have seen that one with Mel Gibson, where it makes you cry, the Vietnam one.
	That's one of the best Vietnam movies.
	We Were Soldiers.
	Yeah, that one's brutal.
	I remember when that movie came out, there was like articles.
	It was like making fun of how the Asian soldier that got his skin ripped off from the napalm.
	And they were making like, he was like, I tell my wife I love her on the bird as he's dying in the movie.
	And then they're making fun of that.
	It's like, oh, it's cliche lines.
	And apparently that wasn't a...
	That guy was real.
	And he said that as he was dying.
	Yeah, it's cliche for a reason.
	It happens.
	It's what you say when you're fucking dying.
	I haven't seen ham, like, I don't want to brag, and I know this is not the best day to talk about one service, but I'm not going to steal the valor of people who have seen Hamburger Hill, but I am going to watch that tonight.
	And I would like to thank you for my service for intending to watch it.
	Oh, I'll definitely thank you for that.
	For the part where the guy takes the M60 to that dude's face.
	Don't ruin it!
	Don't ruin it!
	Oh, well, anyways, so I give a little insight on might be kind of a downer, but most of the time between Iraq and Afghanistan, a lot of times when people go, it's not as quick.
	Like in some places that I've seen, like they're IED and they're gone.
	Vaporized or they're dead.
	And a lot of times they're so out of it when they get hit, popped.
	Like I haven't, I know, I'm not saying this hasn't happened.
	I'm sure it's happened, but when I've been in units that we've had guys in my platoon even get killed, it's pretty, it's very instant or they don't know it what's going on.
	They're out of it.
	They're not really screaming.
	I've never seen, and you know this whole thing about like cowards too, like screaming like, I've never saw that.
	You've never seen a coward in your entire time.
	So those guys skip out of the deployment before you go.
	Right, yeah, that makes sense.
	They find a way to get out of the deployment.
	You know what I'm saying?
	So when you finally get there, it's guys who are willing to die.
	Pretty much.
	Like the guys that are really pussies, they'll find a way to get out of the entire deployment before you even go.
	Or they'll act crazy when they're down range.
	So they get put in like the office building that's like on the base or in the fob or whatever.
	We had a dude that was pretending to be crazy.
	And he was like, would like do these facing movements in front of the Sergeant Major's little office thing and be like, do all do all this drill and ceremony stuff to pretend to be crazy.
	And they finally sent him back to Germany because I was out of Germany at the time.
	So we didn't come back to the states.
	When we redeployed, we go back to, we lived in Germany.
	Isn't it funny how MASH, the main character in MASH was a guy who dressed up in drag to be pardoned and sent home as a lunatic.
	And now he'd be fucking promoted to captain.
	What was his name?
	Klinger?
	Klinger?
	Klingon?
	I got a story about Trannies because I still have, I'm retired.
	I have a lot of...
	You're not retarded.
	Dude, stop beating yourself up.
	You're not the smartest guy in the world.
	Yeah, modesty is one thing.
	You're not retarded.
	Stop it.
	I've known dudes that are still in, they're like higher up in rank now.
	They're like my soldiers when I was in.
	They were privates, but now they're like higher in rank doing what I used to do.
	And freaking, they had to deal with a tranny female lieutenant that was claiming to be a man.
	And freaking, they wanted them to call her a sir and all this shit.
	And freaking, he told me this shit.
	This is not too long ago.
	And so for tank gunnery, you have to qualify as a platoon leader, which is a lieutenant, which she was.
	You have to qualify your crew on tank gunnery, which is basically you drive down this giant freaking super range and you have giant targets on lifters that pop up and you're using your thermal optics and all stuff to hit them on the move and stationary.
	It's like a 3,000 meter freaking range, right?
	In the woods.
	And you have to qualify your crew, you know, past the standard, all the different standards that are.
	She couldn't pass that shit.
	And freaking, they gave her multiple tries because it was a physical chick pretending to be a dude.
	And then finally, they had the leadership was like, okay, we can't give her any more.
	Wait a minute.
	I'm sorry.
	I got to interrupt you.
	So this is a woman who was identifying as a male.
	It's a lesbian, Basically, it's a lesbian with short hair who says, I'm a dude, and then she had to qualify for all these tests to be whatever, tank dude.
	Well, it's marksmanship, crew member, drills.
	Like, you've seen that movie in the badass movie, and you've seen it, Fury, with World War II tank one with Shiloh Bof and freaking, what's his damn name?
	But it's a woman we're talking about, right?
	Yeah, it's a rich woman.
	She's trying out to be what?
	Yeah.
	What's she trying out to be?
	It's not trying out.
	Basically, she's assigned at a unit.
	It's not trying out.
	You're there.
	You're assigned a platoon leader spot.
	You're in charge of a tank platoon.
	But you are a tank commander.
	So a lieutenant is a tank commander within a platoon, but you control the whole platoon.
	You're the leader.
	You're the officer of the tank platoon, four tanks.
	So you have to qualify two.
	You're a crew of four people on your tank.
	You have to go to marksmanship.
	So you have to shoot your machine guns.
	You've got to kick the targets and all this stuff.
	You have to qualify points within time and accuracy.
	You have to hit them.
	I can go in for hours about it because I used to set that stuff up.
	But like freaking, I saw Spot saying freaking, I know you hate it.
	But she can pass.
	Usually you get maybe two times to do that as a man, a regular in the old days.
	If you can't pass, well, back in the 90s, if you failed at once, you're gone.
	You're going to pump gas and Corporation.
	Sergeant Major comes down to shoes your ass.
	You're out of here.
	You mother piece of shit.
	Like, oh my goodness.
	You actually mother piece of shit?
	You mother piece of shit.
	So then it went to when the army started getting soft with Obama, they give you like two chances.
	And then now with her, she like five chances, but she still couldn't pass it.
	Yeah.
	Even after like multiple chances.
	It's not going to change with different chances.
	She's not going to get better.
	He's not going to get better or she, whatever the fuck it is.
	It's not going to get better with different chances.
	What, it was raining out that day?
	Foggy.
	In defense of females, like regular, straight, real women, he has a female on his tank crew now, my same buddy, that he says she's actually decent, but she's like, like dudes and she's normal and all that stuff.
	But she's in the army on that job now because the combat jobs are all open to women now.
	So it seems like it's a lot of women that are normal that join those jobs, they're going to be like probably Republican types.
	Okay, so just before we hang out, we got to go.
	But the person you're talking about was born a woman.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	A female and demanded they be called sir instead of ma'am because women officers are called ma'am instead of sir, but demanded to be called sir.
	And she said she was pretty nuts.
	All right.
	Thanks a lot, ladies.
	Welcome aboard.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling, buddy.
	Thank you for your service.
	Happy Veterans Day.
	Now we got Andrew talking about the Korean War.
	Hey, Josie.
	Hey, Uhuru.
	Oh, wait, wait.
	Uhuru.
	I used to stop.
	I used to kill cooks like you had to do.
	I gotta kill you.
	We used to use his body bags.
	Getting some echo, but it's cool.
	So I'm living in Southern California, and then I have a brother that lives in LA that married a Korean woman that was a pleasant surprise at her dad's,
	like, you know, 43rd, 43rd year.
	And because he fucked some chick in the war in Korea?
	Oh, no, no, no.
	It was like Korean on Korean misogynation or misogynation or whatever.
	But you mean cousins fucking?
	They thought the husband and wife thought that they were barren or she was Baron.
	So anyway, long story short, like her dad was in Korean.
	Yeah, I'm bored.
	Next call.
	Everything you've just said makes me think.
	What the fuck was that mess?
	Jesus Christ.
	I don't know what he was trying to say, but basically, misogynation is when they take a member of the family and then they send them out to somebody else and they would go somewhere else.
	I mean, we didn't have to live with the message of that because we had a better brother.
	Oh, so you're, Jesse, you're quoting Eddie Gloud now?
	No, he's not that from me.
	See, I actually used to be pretty liberal, and I used to come up with a bed with the brown of him.
	That's not a thing.
	I made that up.
	Oh, okay.
	Yeah.
	So Eddie Gloud stole his whole shtick from Jesse Lee Peterson Peterson.
	Yeah.
	Are you related to Jordan Peterson at all?
	No, no, that's crazy talk.
	But no, we're not related.
	Maybe.
	Are you friends?
	Oh, yeah, we're friends.
	We can't get, you know, here's him now.
	He'd be like, here's my, you want to hear my Jordan Peterson right here?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I'd love it.
	Let's see.
	Let's see.
	Okay, here it goes.
	Can you boom, you know?
	You mean?
	I think I'm going to pee in my pants.
	I mean, I mean, I mean, have some bloody respect.
	For God's sakes, man.
	For God's sakes, man, have some bloody respect on my name.
	You're going to have to pay the bread of them.
	Wow.
	Oh, Jesus.
	Wow.
	Oh, Jesus.
	You can lie down now.
	You can pull out the cot underneath your desk and have a 20-minute nap, a power nap.
	That's a new concept there, A. Wow.
	A mashup.
	Jesse Lee Peterson does Jordan Peterson.
	I mean, I got to lie down.
	Oh, wow.
	Jesse Lee Jordan Peterson.
	I was making fun of him for his accent, and I learned he has a cleft palate.
	Okay.
	Which I now regret.
	We now take back this retiringness.
	This is gone.
	Not gonna do this.
	Not gonna die.
	This is mess now.
	We get next call.
	Yeah.
	Sure.
	Somebody dropped the N-word today.
	Who?
	Joe Biden.
	Oh, yeah.
	Can you hear me?
	He's like, this is massive.
	Yeah, an old Negro pitcher.
	That's a Negro.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Is that what you're talking about, dude?
	Yeah, I don't know if you got up to it.
	Biden dropped the Antword.
	Or Negro.
	I don't know why I said N-word.
	And I was just thinking, imagine if Trump had said the same thing.
	He'd be dead.
	But yeah, no, give it a YouTube.
	And yeah.
	Trump would never say Negro because Trump speaks to blacks and he's around black people and he lives on Earth.
	And when you think of like old-timey black person in Trump's brain, in our brains, we go, old black dude.
	We don't go Negro.
	The only people who say Negro are people that don't know any Negroes.
	Like when he said, people say they treat each other well.
	You have these guys.
	They go to the shoeshine stand.
	They don't say hi to the guy.
	The shoe shine stand?
	What the fuck?
	What planet?
	The shoe shine stand.
	Joe Biden thinks you're not a good person if you don't say hi to the guy at the fucking shoe shine stand.
	I haven't seen a shoe shine stand in at least 10 years.
	If you don't give a guy who shines your shoes a banana, man, then you don't.
	Come on.
	You're not black.
	You're not black, dude.
	Come on, man.
	If you're not black, you can't shine on my shoes.
	And also, I'm sure there are like one or two shoeshine stands left, but it's not a thing that you come across.
	Like when you go to fucking Grand Central and then you go to Penn Station, you don't come across a lot of shoeshine stands.
	No.
	You fucking weirdo.
	You know, I've adopted the attitude of the great Negro at the time pitcher in the Negro leagues went on to become great pitcher in the Negroes.
	You're a great Negro into the Major League Baseball after Jackie Robinson.
	Martin Luther King, the greatest Negro of all time.
	You know, I've adopted the...
	U.S. President Joe Biden met Pope Francis for a private meeting at the Vatican.
	All right, next card.
	Remember this one where he says African-American baseball player?
	The U.S. archer of Pope Francis.
	Meanwhile, this guy has just washed shit off his legs.
	Here we go.
	Hi, I'm good now.
	I cleaned the shit off my pants.
	You're the famous African-American baseball player in America.
	Oh, it's an old trope he keeps recycling.
	Not only is it embarrassing and retarded, it's the only thing he has to say.
	He's in a loop with that.
	What context does he use it in?
	What is an example?
	From the Pope to veterans.
	Hi, I'm a veteran.
	I almost died in Afghanistan.
	I lost seven of my friends.
	An old Negro pitcher.
	Not Jackie Robinson.
	He struck them all out.
	No, it's not like that at all.
	My friends died.
	Why does he try?
	I held them as they breathed their last breath.
	Yeah, that's not unlike an old Negro, an old African-American.
	That's not unlike...
	No, no, it's not like that.
	Raheem Kassam changed his handle to mediate his fake news.
	Because they put in their story that they denied he used the word Negro.
	Really?
	We just heard it?
	We did.
	All right, next call.
	Just keep on rolling it, man.
	Keep on rolling.
	By the way, the new Limp Biscuit fucking CD rules.
	Oh, that's not good news because Ryan's tasting music sucks.
	No, but it actually does.
	So if he likes a CD, okay, let me prove it to you.
	Ryan, pull up a single from the new Limp Biscuit album.
	So, this is exciting.
	Do you want to do the intro track or do you want to?
	Best track.
	Okay, best track.
	I'm going to say it's dad vibes.
	Okay, let's hear dad vibes.
	Be prepared.
	Spoiler alert, this is going to suck shit.
	It's not.
	It's actually going to roll so.
	Still sucks.
	No video?
	No, not yet.
	Does it bring you to the bottom?
	Is that the name of the album?
	Still sucks.
	Yeah.
	Look how cheap that cover looks.
	It's supposed to look a little wonky.
	Okay, I will say, within the genre of Limp Biscuit, consistent with the band's hits.
	Fuck yes.
	Have you seen what he looks like lately?
	Yes, he's got the gray hair with the...
	West Moreland in it.
	I ain't listening to it.
	No, West Moreland is in it.
	No way.
	Yes.
	West Moreland was like, I'll never play with Limp Biscuit again.
	What was his beef with them?
	I don't know.
	Eagle Mania?
	Yeah, he thought he was too good for fucking the biscuit, which he's not.
	Biscuit made him and they'll, you know.
	But they fucking killed it at Lollapalooza.
	It was like Rock Resort.
	Does Ryan sound like my dad?
	What do you mean?
	I thought they fucking killed it at Lollapalooza.
	He sounds like my dad left my mom and he's dating a 30-year-old who's 50 years younger than me.
	He's like, I love the Lulla, the Lullapaloozing and the limp biscuits.
	I'm down with the biscuits.
	I thought they did a great deal.
	That was good.
	That was good, man.
	They were fucking dope, man.
	They were slamming.
	What is he, Robert Denny Jr.?
	Can you hear me?
	They go nuts.
	Hold on one second, sir.
	Sorry.
	That's his real hair, right?
	Look at the...
	Now he's like a weird black tranny.
	He dresses up as different shit in every concert, but this is what he decided to do.
	That's Wes.
	No way.
	I promise.
	They even did interviews and stuff like that.
	Yeah, he's with them.
	Oh, man, this is fucking dope.
	You can't bring me down.
	You must be good.
	I don't think so.
	I don't think so.
	Dude, the biscuit is a bad vibe.
	It looks like everyone in my gym who's a bad vibe.
	You know what's dad vibes?
	You know what's a great sign, too?
	Megan The Stallion was playing on the opposite stage, and he pointed that out.
	And he was like, you know, people are probably going to leave soon, but no, they didn't.
	Damn, sure.
	Yeah, they killed it.
	This is a cool thing.
	I'm not an Olymp Biscuit fan, but I can understand within that genre that they're not aging ungracefully.
	That's fine.
	Yeah.
	They'll still have their fans from 30 years ago.
	Yes.
	Yeah, I approve.
	Nice.
	That rules.
	You win this round.
	Dry guy.
	All right, we got time for what, like one or two more calls?
	This is Griffin on the line.
	Go ahead, Griff.
	Don't fuck around, get in.
	Don't fuck around, Kevino.
	You get abuse scene.
	Dude, where is that video?
	How do I find that?
	Because that's one of the hardest, deepest laughs I've ever had in my entire fucking life.
	You mean a video of me telling that story?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Because the video of the scene does not exist.
	It was in fucking rural Costa Rica when he said that.
	That's a hangout right there, bro.
	Okay, but I called.
	Did you see Jordan Peterson go off on Dave Rubin's show today about vaccine shit?
	No.
	Yeah, he's kind of.
	Did he always cry?
	Was he crying?
	No, no, no.
	He doesn't get the crying yet.
	No, he's not there.
	But in the little intro that Dave puts on the start of the show, and I'm not a Rubin guy, I'm a Gavin guy.
	It shows Peterson getting a little angry.
	It's kind of good.
	I like how Peterson said, you have to walk with your chest puffed out so you know that you can take on the world.
	You have to not step on the cracks of your damn anger.
	I mean, why don't you spar?
	Why don't you fight, Jordan?
	Don't step on the cracks.
	Your mother's back will break.
	What?
	Repeat that?
	Have you not heard the tales of Jordan Peterson in the streets of Alberta?
	No, no.
	Dude, he's a KO artist, bro.
	No.
	Have you seen his spinning wheel kick?
	No.
	I have to see this.
	I'd be very impressed.
	Dude, it's legendary.
	At the Calgary Stand Pete, Jordan Peterson used to, he'd be knocking guys out left and right.
	No, he's a killer.
	Get the fuck out of there.
	No, I'm going to bet my entire life including my children.
	That's not the case.
	Yeah, you're not serious, though, right?
	I think an 11-year-old with a bad attitude could take out Jordan Peterson easily.
	Little hockey player kid, little fucking sassy 11-year-old.
	A little 11-year-old redhead who plays local hockey in fucking Etobicoke, Ontario.
	He's taking out Jordan Peterson.
	But yeah, let's see this Rubin thing.
	Yeah, look that shit up.
	I was looking up Jordan Peterson in a fight, and the first thing they came up was in a coma.
	No, no.
	That's not a good sign.
	No, I know, I know.
	On Dave Rubin.
	I got you, sir.
	Hold on, one second.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	Yeah, let me just drop them real quick.
	No.
	Fucking delete.
	Hard feelings.
	Okay, I guess hard feelings.
	Never mind.
	Canadians who aren't vaccinated now cannot leave the country.
	Like, what the hell?
	Why is that?
	And I'm, look, I got vaccinated, and people took me to task for that.
	And I thought, all right, I'll get the damn vaccine.
	Here's the deal, guys.
	I'll get the vaccine.
	You fucking leave me alone.
	Damn.
	And did that work?
	No.
	So stupid me.
	You know, that's how I feel about it.
	It's like, well, now I have to get tested for COVID when I come back into Canada.
	I have to get tested before I leave Canada.
	Now, you know, that might be the latter issue.
	That's an issue with the Americans.
	And so that's outside of the Canadian purview.
	But the restrictions to get back into Canada are even more stringent.
	It's like, well, why do you get the vaccine then if you're not going to leave me alone?
	And I don't think the evidence that unvaccinated or that vaccinated people are less contagious, let's say, I don't think it's very compelling.
	So why are the vaccinated all of a sudden, the unvaccinated all of a sudden a danger?
	And I think I know why.
	Huh.
	That wasn't in the clip, by the way.
	You can really see the, and I've been away from Canada for 20 years.
	You can really see the Scottish influence in the Canadian accent there.
	And the rage, too.
	I fucking, I go over there.
	I fucking get vaccinated, right?
	Leave me the fuck alone.
	Wow, yeah.
	Then I come back and I got fucking everyone from A to Z fucking checking me everywhere I go.
	Fuck.
	Do I have the enzymes?
	Do I have the antibodies?
	Do I have this?
	Do I have fucking that?
	Fuck off.
	You made me a promise when I got the fucking vaccine.
	You said I was A-OK and on my own.
	Fuck.
	Now I'm getting fucking reamed up the ass.
	Fuck you, eh?
	Dude.
	That was pretty cool.
	Wait, let's see if we can find an...
	Alright, let's do one more call.
	It's time to go.
	Okay.
	Etobicoke.
	Etobicoke, Ontario, fuck.
	I fucked a chick named Tracy there once.
	Hello, hello.
	fucking be brave and get in trouble and get fired and never stop fighting goodbye The risers swung around his neck,
	the nectar's cracked his thumb.
	Suspension lines were tied in knots around his skinny bones.
	The canopy became his round, he purple to the crown.
	Myths and the legends because we had to bear the bran of them.
	Privilege of growing up in a tradition that didn't believe in the myths and the legends because we had to bear the branch of them.

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