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May 15, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
49:45
GOML LIVE #98 - AFFIRMATIVE ACTION (Part 1)

Our military has been infiltrated by fat chicks and it's making Russia laugh. We also look into DIY culture and realize we've arrived at a serendipitous resurgence.

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He's just a stereotype.
He drinks his age in pints.
This is Miles Old Coat.
It's a silly character I retired.
Isn't it funny what we do here?
These armrests are very greasy.
Were you grease them?
Isn't it funny how we make our own TV shows?
TV got really bad.
Movies got shitty.
They got woke.
And I forgot to send you my notes.
And so what happened?
People just started saying, I'll make my own television.
And a lot of them sucked, not going to lie.
A lot of shitty garbage.
But a lot of people started making good stuff.
And they started getting more views and making more money.
And being good at it, if you will.
Perfect.
Like fucking Joe Rogues.
Right?
He gets way more viewers than Anderson Cooper.
But I'm sure if you talk to a boomer, they'd go, oh, Joe Rogan does some stupid podcast.
But Anderson Cooper, well, he works at CNN.
But as far as annual income and viewership goes, SARS.
We've got a lot to talk about today.
We've got a fun show planned for you.
We should probably address the Milo situation, right?
Situation.
It's a very Milo situation.
It's a very Milo situation.
People are asking me if I'm okay.
Really?
Yes.
They're like, dude, you can produce my podcast if you want.
My friend Pierce, Blackballed.
Okay.
I was like, I don't like getting into this kind of stuff.
He said, she said, and then it goes back and forth.
And I'm a drunk.
So inevitably, there's an email where I said, you're, oh, fuck your whole family and jizz on your dad.
Yeah, I have one.
If you know you, you got one from you.
So you're like, I don't want to get into it.
He who has not sinned may cast the first stone.
But then he starts casting stones.
So the stones were, we fired all our staff, A. B, they were always late to pay me.
And I guess that's basically it.
I wish them nothing but the best, but they're struggling.
Oh, so like concern trolling.
Yeah, which is a good tactic when you're insulting someone.
We learned this in high school where the mean girls would go, I actually feel sorry for her.
Yeah.
Because then you're so high above the fat chick that you're like, I don't even want to hurt her.
I'd actually like her to lose weight and she could be my friend.
It would be cruel.
She's cursed with that body.
So the paying it, so there's nothing complicated here.
Always follow Occam's razor with these kind of things.
There's no like, he fucked my wife or censored.tv's falling apart or any of that shit.
It's never that juicy, unfortunately.
And I'm like you.
I love gossip.
So I'm always disappointed when I find out the truth because I'm like, oh, really?
The truth is, there was just a back and forth about payment and this and that.
And he's clearly high maintenance.
You may have guessed that Milo is not easy to work with.
The 300 producers he've churned through are an indication of that.
So there was something going on.
It was like a minor thing.
I think we had given him a $10,000 advance because he's moving to Florida.
And he's like, just give me a bunch of shows in advance.
I don't know why I'm doing that accent.
That's not how he talks.
That's not how he talks.
Hi, I'm Milo.
And I'm like, whatever are you guys?
It's the Miles coat.
He talks like he's Dr. Frankenfurter meets with Nail.
Is that it?
Yeah.
That's perfect, yes.
But he walks like the Grinch.
No offense.
Meets the Grinch.
So the Jim Carrey Grinch.
Correct.
So it's going back and forth, blah, blah, blah.
And he's like, I need more money now.
And I have to do this.
And then someone in the email chain was like, you know what, we're good.
And then it was like, you know what?
I see which way the wind is blowing.
Actually, I prefer this accent.
Because when I do like his accent, you think I'm talking about an intellectual from Harvard.
And that's not the attitude in this particular story, though he is an intellectual.
The man is very smart.
And a joy to be around.
Yeah, he's lovely.
He came to my house.
He slept over.
He was great with my wife, my kids, like a very charming guy.
I like him, believe it or not.
Although I'm mad at him right now.
Professionally.
Professionally mad.
That's a good t-shirt.
That's pretty cool.
What's up here?
Professionally mad and I'm working overtime.
Okay, nope.
I'm sorry.
Oh, you're really happy about that joke.
Professionally mad and I'm working overtime.
Rye guy nailed it again.
Just disregard.
Bullseye.
Disregard.
I'm sorry.
I apologize.
What do you think, everyone?
Good morning.
Yes.
Yes.
I should be ashamed.
I'm sorry.
No, no, it's just a normal, mediocre C-min joke.
It's a tagline.
So he goes, I can see which way the wind is blowing.
I think we're done here.
I'll do shows at the end of the month and then we're gone.
And I was like, you know what?
Good.
Yeah, okay, bye.
And then after that, there was some like, so I shouldn't be looking for a new producer?
And I go, no, you quit.
You're a very expensive dude to work with.
And I realized after you said that, I could get like three Shows for that cost.
So, bye.
And then I think he said to another dude, another manager at the machine, you're targeting me.
And then he goes, No, dude, we're cutting the slack.
We just got rid of the news section.
We're firing people left and right.
Meaning, like in the world of firing, which is at all companies, especially networks where you clear out the bottom five shows every year, right?
You're part of that.
It's not like, we hate you, you bitch.
That's what he was trying to say.
And then that became they're firing their entire editorial staff, which I don't really know what that means.
Like, all our shows are gone?
So that takes off.
You can check censored.tv now.
I'm explaining it all.
That fucking loser beta male saddy, Jared Holt, who now works for this pretentious left-wing think tank, which I think is associated with CrowdStrike.
Twink tank.
And they're deeply entwined in this sort of blue-in-on deep state.
But anyway, it's not a real thing.
And he was like, they're done.
We win.
Wait, where are you right now?
My Twitter.
Why wouldn't you go to sensor.tv, like I said?
Wouldn't that be more logical when I'm to go to the site that I named?
No, that's also Twitter, my friend.
Oh, go to the site.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's the site where you work at.
Gotcha.
Um...
It's introducing the spiel.
So he puts out a tweet saying they're finally gone and, you know, gloating already.
Like, they never talk about censor.tv.
In fact, I think Milo goes, Milo's attitude is, you should thank me.
You're finally being talked about.
Which there's an argument there.
Blah, blah, blah.
I was fired.
He's laying off all of its staff.
So we're getting into tons of shows.
We do that all the time, but we're not targeting you.
That became laying off all its staff.
And again, the guy quit in a diva rage.
Great research there by Mr. Holt.
Well, he avoids litigation by saying Milo said this, but then he confirms it by playing the lobster tiny violin.
From SpongeBob, yeah.
But anyway, it's all bullshit, fake news, as per usage.
Censored.tv is doing great.
We are up to 25,000 subscribers.
We did have payment processing problems a couple months ago, but there's been no change on that.
We've been getting a lot of press this week, by the way.
Michael Graves, Josh LaCash, Josh Denny, Gavin Wax, Isabella Reilly.
Things are fantastic.
You know, we made it to Breitbart, by the way?
Oh, that's a stretch.
Yep.
But is the bright bird...
No, on Censor TV.
Radio Deadly with Michael Graves on Censored TV.
This is about the Dan Zig Michael Graves, the two singers of the band, Misfits.
Paul helped us along.
Paul Bazil.
And also, Metal Sucks and another site have gotten censored TV plugs.
Very cool.
Good.
Well, Michael Graves has like 200,000 email listers.
And I'm like, Mike, we got to get it out on that, please.
Anyway, that's, I'm telling you, our private business, ruining the whole fun of the show, by the way.
I don't like all this behind the curtain shit.
It's like seeing your wife put on her lingerie and fiddling with those, you know, little things, garter belts that go on the stocks.
Oh, yeah.
You got to leave the bedroom and come back and everything's ready.
But another allegation Milo made was that we were late 11 payments out of 12.
And I'd already explained that to him.
We agreed to a monthly fee.
So you don't get paid in advance for the first month.
After you're done the four shows, say it's December, January 1st, you get December's pay.
So you are getting your monthly fee.
Like, don't you think it's a coincidence that every single month is exactly 30 days late?
It's called your paycheck, dude.
Anyway, we're done.
I'm mad about the layoff all its staff.
I don't know if I'll get over it.
Probably never going to speak to him again.
I'm very sensitive about betrayal.
And I see this as, I mean, not a knife in the back, but it's a toothpick in the back.
And I don't like that.
I don't like the butt chick.
So that's in the news today.
Also, oh, we didn't talk about the specials.
That album was stereotyped by the specials.
It was their second album.
I think that album covers a great look for you, by the way.
Not mod.
It's too hard to be a mod.
They're too perfect.
In fact, that was the whole culture of mods.
I prefer this sort of washed up mod.
You know?
Like you've already done your albums and you made your money and you're kind of a mod slob.
And that's...
I was getting ready the bumper that we are going to watch soon.
Free speech.
Yeah, no, we're not doing that for a minute.
So the specials?
Yeah, you had it up.
It was the YouTube thing.
You really are liming it out of the park today.
Yeah, that look.
So neat and tidy, but, you know, not too neat and tidy.
And on vacation.
Doesn't that look like a great hang right there?
There's a bunch of pints.
Someone's bored.
There's some conjecture going on.
You know?
There's someone like, what would you rather do?
Be buried alive or drown?
All right, let's start the show.
I noticed there's an ad going around about recruitment into the military.
And it's pretty shocking.
It's pretty sad.
Dude, have you noticed how fucking ripped I am?
Now, first of all, this is my Miles coat.
It's actually my wife's coat, and I'm wearing it because we have a military theme today, but I'm bulging out of it like an absolute fucking WWE beast.
I've become a monster.
I'm not exactly that ripped on the front body torso.
The front body torso is the hardest to work, so don't even play it.
The front body torso is the hardest part to work.
Especially when you drink fucking 50 beers a day.
So I wanted to discuss with you the American military and these cringe ads to try to get more, I don't know, dykes.
Music We are the laughingstock of the fucking world.
You want to know why?
Because not only do we allow the pussification of America, but we encourage it.
That's the problem.
Oh, and one more thing.
We also totally demean and criticize anything remotely masculine.
Now, that's bad when it comes to fatherhood, when it comes to running a fucking burger joint, pretty much everything, but it's especially bad when it comes to the military.
A big part of the American military is a deterrent.
I want you to be scared of us.
I want John Kerry in the electric chair for being a traitor and giving secrets to Iran.
That would make the world shit their pants.
I want the Middle East to go, oh no, America.
So when you hear about the military, I want you to see big, strong, scary men.
Not some fucking random social justice warrior, Dyke.
So I want to start this.
This is a Russian recruitment video.
I speak fluent Russian, so I'll be able to translate it for you.
I'm going to compare that to a recruitment video for our side, which is very disappointing, to say the least.
Okay, let's get started.
I am a man.
I am sick of being a pussy.
I want to do something with my life.
I'm sick of fucking around with my friends who can afford Air Jordans, which is very rare.
And I like girls and stuff, but it's time to start a life.
I want a family.
I want to do something.
I'm also fucking ripped.
I rip men's head offs.
For fun, I could see that soccer ball I was kicking.
I kick a faggot like that in the teeth.
And then I could do about a million push-ups.
I joined the army.
And we learned to jump over things.
I am triumphed in Saudog now, all of a sudden.
And shooting and getting into the greatest shape of my life with a military that is the strongest in the world.
We are fearless.
And not only am I building a better family and a future for myself, but I am forging the future for my entire country.
This is a future of Russia.
This is the future of me.
And this is the future of my manhood.
Die, motherfuckers!
Assault.
And that does two things.
That recruits bona fide asshole.
No, sorry, bonafide tough guy.
Asshole too, maybe.
That's a good thing in this case.
That's kind of what I want to get at.
You don't want to pander to anyone.
The video you're about to see is clearly pandering.
Are we that desperate for people to sign up to the military?
Are our numbers shockingly low?
Like, I think a good recruitment video would be the armed forces, don't join.
You're a pussy.
Or you don't have the balls to join.
It shouldn't even have a door.
The recruitment place should have, you have to punch your way through like a sidewall.
I don't want, like, people used to say the proud boys are trying to recruit people.
No, we didn't want anyone you had to recruit.
It should be hard to get into.
Going out there and trying to sell it, it's like fucking, really.
Like, I don't want to plead for, I want someone, I want to fuck someone that want to fucks me, that wants to fuck me.
I don't want to be able to like, you can try it.
You don't have to suck it.
You can just hug me.
That's not true.
You got to fuck me.
So this video, so again, there's two problems here.
One, the message we're sending to the world.
And two, the kind of people we're encouraging.
I want our army to be the top.
I want our police to be all male.
We can have women filling out forms.
I want the police on the streets to be all male and all over six feet and fucking fearless.
Same with our firemen.
I want them all to be able to carry a fat pig down the stairs without getting a hernia.
Obviously.
Almost everything I say, I should have all caps at the end.
Obviously.
This is not a radical belief.
This is a radical belief.
All right, so let's forget the whole we are the laughingstock and we're sending out a bad message.
But let's just look at the kind of person we're recruiting.
This is the story of a soldier who operates your nation's Patriot missile defense systems.
Sounds good.
That looks like a badass system.
I don't like this kind of animation, but it begins in California.
Okay.
With a little girl raised by two moms.
So stop.
So we're trying to get the children of lesbians.
Is that a thing?
What's the data on this, by the way?
With like sexual molestation and stuff?
I've seen that it's a relatively new concept, right?
Being raised by gays.
But I've heard rumors that they all turn out fucked up.
It's just that it's so new, we don't really know yet.
And then, of course, if you were to ever say that on a platform outside of censor.tv, you'd get, fuck you, I was raised by two dads and I cured cancer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm talking about thousands of people here and what general patterns have formed.
All right, so you were raised by two moms.
Very rare, but whatever.
If you were going to be an orphan otherwise, I don't give a shit.
I guess it's better than living in an orphanage.
Why is this relevant, though, to who you are?
Although I had a fairly typical childhood, took ballet, played violin, I also marched for equality.
Okay, so the sentiment here is, stop, that if you're raised by gays, they have to be activists, because that's what gays do, right?
Because we live in such a homophobic society, they need to be activists to survive.
So this is the new military.
We have activist children.
Never mind the possibility that gays and lesbians don't really have to be politically active.
Couldn't they be conservative gays?
Is that possible?
And look at these motherfucking platitudes.
Respect everyone?
Should I respect pedophiles?
Should I respect some big fat loser that drinks a bottle of fucking gin a day and then shits himself?
Should I respect a dad who abandoned his children right after they were born like fucking Katsu did?
And love each other?
Why?
Wait, who?
I need more conditions there.
I'm not throwing around this love.
Oh, willy-nilly.
Who are you, Willard P. Nillard?
From an early age.
When I was six years old, one of my moms had an accident that left her paralyzed.
Doctors said she might never walk again.
She's fat.
But she tapped into my family's pride to get back on her feet.
She tapped?
Stop.
What the fuck?
She tapped into my family's pride.
Like they weren't ashamed that they were gay.
I guarantee you live in Portland or Berkeley.
Oh, no, they already showed us, right?
somewhere in California?
No one is...
You're a status symbol.
Oh, I was hanging out with my two moms the other day.
Wow.
Can you show up at one of my parties?
I saw this black woman walking around the suburbs today.
Sorry, a white woman with a black woman.
And she obviously didn't live anywhere near there.
But you could tell the white woman was so fucking thrilled to be walking with a black woman.
I don't know if it was her maid or her daughter's fucking bongo teacher or something, but she was just like, her feet were not touching the ground.
She was just like, everybody's seeing this.
I'm with the POC.
Anyway, sorry, tangent.
You might never walk again.
But she tapped into my family's pride to get back on her feet.
Eventually standing at the altar to marry my other mom.
Okay, stop.
So she said she was six, right?
What took these fucking bitches so long to get married?
Of course, there's black people at the wedding.
What took her so long to get married?
So let's say the physical therapy took a year, a year and a half, seven.
Maybe she's eight now.
You didn't get married till your kid was eight.
You're a fuck-up.
You're not good parents.
Why is there menstrual blood all over the ground?
With such powerful role models, I finished high school at the top of my class and then attended UC Davis.
So I joined a sorority girl.
She did well because she had powerful lesbian parents.
Okay.
Other strong women.
But as graduation approached, I began feeling like I'd been handed so much in life.
A sorority girl stereotype.
Sure, I'd spent my life around inspiring women.
Okay, stop.
That was kind of crazy.
The left is coming full circle and it's about to eat itself.
You know how you can see a dog about to bite?
The left is about to bite a huge chunk out of its own leg.
So she's, you know, they're insatiable, right?
So she's the daughter of two lesbians.
So you get a free pass.
You're good.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
Not anymore.
Now you grew up privileged because you had the privilege of being with two wonderful, loving lesbians who are white.
So now you're bad.
Now you're part of the patriarchy.
You're the oppressor.
And then they start getting, you can tell like in the story, it's sort of folding in on itself because it goes, sure, I did have lesbian parents, but I also had a privileged lifestyle.
So now this is getting really weird.
A way to fight your own innate white privilege as the child of lesbians is to join the army because that's black.
What the fuck is going on here?
Sure, I'd spent my life around inspiring women.
But what had I really achieved on my own?
One of my sorority sisters was studying abroad in Italy.
Studying abroad in Italy?
Well, you sure hang around with a lot of lesbians.
Everyone's studying broads around here.
I was climbing Mount Everest.
I needed my own experience.
Climbing Mount Everest.
Who wrote this?
A nine-year-old?
Lunch.
And after meeting with an army recruiter, I decided to be the only woman in the world who can pull herself up on a rope.
And maybe shatter some stereotypes along the way.
You are 100% stereotype.
I'm U.S. Army Corporal Emma Malone Lord, and I answered my calling.
It should be strength.
Strength and bravery are kind of the top things for the Army.
Not growing up with lesbian parents and ashamed of your own white privilege.
This does not bode well for the future, my friends.
We shouldn't be showing the rest of the world that we're a bunch of fucking pussies, and we should not be importing so much pussy that's been raised by two pussies into our army.
It's not good.
What's that other one?
Is that a third one, Ryan?
It's a whole series?
That was just a military part of the army.
Jesus H. Christ.
So now the military is all about colors and color and gender and gayness.
That's our last fucking priority.
Can we have a meritocracy anywhere?
In fact, the military is disproportionately black, isn't it?
Okay, let me see.
What is this?
Same thing, but kind of this cool intro.
Oh.
Oh, it's the same thing, but a better intro.
So that's a whole series.
Just because I'm black doesn't mean I can't join the army.
Uh, yeah.
Thanks.
Thanks.
I gotta go.
*music*
My rib still hurts, by the way, if anyone's asking.
I forgot to read our promos, Tactical Walls, a great segue to a great advertiser, a great sponsor for the show, tacticalwalls.com.
If you go there and put in the code Gavin, you get 20% off your entire order, no matter how big it is.
And again, look at what they have.
They've got cool furniture with secret hidden gun compartments.
They have shit for your truck.
They have mod walls where you can display all your guns.
Imagine you open up your closet.
Say you live in a great state like Florida, right?
You open up your closet to show your guns, and they just, they look like that scene in The Kingsman where all the guns are revealed.
That's what Tactical Walls makes.
And if you don't have guns and you're not in a great gun state, they have all kinds of great sports stuff.
But it's one thing to have guns.
It's another thing to be able to display them beautifully, like you can, thanks to the people at tacticalwalls.com.
Vet-owned, American-made.
They stand by us.
Remember, all of our sponsors are constantly harassed by the lunatics.
Just so you know, this was also probably Tactical Walls.
Yes, Tactical Walls UK.
Tactical Walls UK.
So all of our sponsors are constantly harassed.
So when you see someone who advertises on this show, you're looking at someone who's not only patriotic and supports free speech, but doesn't kowtow to the mob.
And that's what Tactical Walls refuses to do.
This is only 30 bucks.
Look at this.
Have that right there in your car.
30 bucks.
Bam.
Boom.
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Under the sink.
Boom.
You think I'm washing dishes?
I'm a pussy?
Yeah, right.
You want to fucking jump into my house, attack my wife, attack my family?
Wrong.
I got tactical walls.
That site goes on and on and on for days, by the way.
I need this.
Another sponsor we have starting today is my own Nita Fashions.
This is a new sponsor.
You get 15% off if you mention me.
I don't think there's room for a promo code.
Just mention Gavin.
You get 15% off.
Now, Nita Fashions, I always called it a, it's for rich, cheap guys.
And I would buy my suits here in America, but they want to charge like five grand.
These guys charge one grand, maybe two grand if you're going nuts, infinite possibilities.
And they make them in Hong Kong.
Now, they used to fly out to a hotel room in every city in the world, Glasgow, Singapore, New York, and they'd measure you all up.
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Because the quality is so good, you'll just be like, just give me a fucking blue shirt.
And they're like, what kind of blue?
And you go, I don't know, normal blue.
It's like when I go to a restaurant.
I just go, obviously a cheeseburger, medium rare, cheddar cheese, and a Budweiser.
That should just be the norm.
But now that with COVID, what these guys do is you get that stringy tailor thing and they put it around your neck.
And you have your wife or whatever.
My daughter did this last time.
And you read out all the waistline and the chest and all that stuff.
And then they get all your measurements and then they do it via FedEx and ship it to you.
Dude, when you have a custom-made suit, it feels like PJs.
It's a totally different experience.
And I know a lot of us go, oh, fuck, I don't want to wear a suit.
That's a pain in the ass.
No, dude, when your suit is custom-tailored to you and the shirts fit you and the neck isn't tight, you look like such a loser, by the way, when you have your top button undone.
You don't look professional.
And I can't tell you how many producers and engineers and staff members at Fox News don't do their top buttons and they have a tie on.
It makes you look like a retard.
You need the neck to fit your neck.
But once you get that and you put the top button on, you're like, this isn't even remotely uncomfortable.
I could be in New York City on the subway in July and I feel like I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt because this fits me perfectly.
And that's why I'll always go to Nita Fashions.
I think I have like 12 suits with them.
And they say Gavin McInnes on the inside.
I mean, I'll give these to my kids.
I'll will them.
And if you're a cheap ass, you can get shirts for as little as like, I think 60 bucks.
You can get a suit for, I think like, this has been a while, but like 800 bucks.
And then, of course, you can go right up to 150 with the shirts or even more where this fabric is like as thick as this coat.
And it's just this awesome, thick shirt.
So anyway, you should have one suit.
You'll have your wedding tuxedo.
You have your funeral suit.
Even if you don't wear suits, you should have one.
Get it at Nita Fashions.
Use the promo code Gavin, 15% off.
And that'll just be like, say you're not a suit person.
Say you're a redneck and you work for John Deere.
That's my, I have that suit.
You have that one suit in your closet for weddings and funerals and everything where it's the one time you dress up, you know, your son's graduation.
And it should be a Nita Fashion suit.
Anyway.
Ooh.
That's a good look.
Yeah.
I saw the marksman, by the way.
Have you seen this story where this guy, it's not in the notes, but this guy, a farmer in Texas, just walking around.
There's a bunch of kids lying on the ground It's Yeah, he's, I think what's going on with the borders is, they were pried open by Joe Biden, and we learned thanks to AOC that children in cages is a big deal, right?
So what these scumbag cartels started doing was just like grabbing random kids, because human life means nothing down there, and children are meaningless.
let's grab some random kids the same way you would grab peanuts at the bar and throw them with the group.
And then when you get busted, you're like, this is my son, whatever the fuck his name is.
He's my little kid.
And now it's a family at the border, and that's got, that helps you get through.
It helps you get you processed.
It just helps you overall.
It's not their actual kids.
But I think what happened here was these kids were a pain in the ass.
They were crying.
I mean, it's a hell journey.
It's like, what do they call that mudder-rucker, mudder-fudder?
Mudder-rucker, yeah.
It's a tough mutter.
Tough mutter.
It's a major ordeal to cross the border.
And little kids don't like major ordeals.
I don't know if you've ever taken a kid to a triathlon in 110-degree heat, but they tend to get grumpy.
And I believe what happened here is the illegals and the Codis just said, just fucking, just leave them there to die.
I don't have time for this shit.
So they did.
And this, yeah, someone brought their five-year-old to that.
And we're supposed to go, well, they're fleeing pain and suffering.
No, they're not.
Drug-dealing, illegal cartels are taking advantage of open borders and using children as cannon fodder.
That's what's going on, you out-of-touch dunce?
Anyway, so that guy keeps updating it.
He's like, this is going to get worse.
This is not unusual for me to find little kids lying on my fucking lawn.
Get off my lawn.
But anyway, The Marksman is this cool movie with Liam Nissan.
It's a long inside joke because it's not worth explaining.
And similar kind of story.
Holy shit, I just had the darkest thought on earth.
Please.
What if some psycho at the production company that made the movie was an immigrant from Mexico and slipped some money to a cartel to leave some kids at the border to die?
Because it would be in the news right when the marksman came out.
And that would be good for business.
Okay, I didn't think you were going there, but that's interesting.
I would say there's a one in 720 chance that happened.
Mine was way darker.
I pictured you went darker.
Okay, I don't hear it then.
Doesn't have to do with children.
He's he's got a fucking He's lived in America for a long time now.
So he has an American accent.
He's still Irish.
He's like, I'm kind of an Irish guy, but I'm still an American.
And so I kind of enunciate, but it is the top of the morning to you.
And if it is the morning, I may indulge in some lucky charms.
I just need a little time to sort things out.
What is that?
It's a nothing actually.
I just need a little time to sort things out.
I'm not Irish, but I'm not American either.
It's Sony Swiss.
Howdy.
You're never gonna make it.
It's miles to the.
You're never gonna make it.
I'll call Border Patrol.
They're like, sir, you're not even from here.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
I'll call Border Patrol on you.
No, no.
No, no.
Everybody come.
Mama.
I come here to take the woman and the boy.
I was in the Marine Club, so I suggest you all turn around and add a ghost.
I'm a soldier too.
My orders are to take them back with me.
Sir, help them, please.
Mexicans are hot.
They tend not to have the best ass.
When they mix, they're great, but otherwise square-bodied.
Square-bodied.
I like a nice panini sandwich once in a while.
Nice to meet you.
That kid, you know how kids ruin movies with their shitty acting?
Like the little Hmong boy in Gran Torino?
Yes.
This kid is as good as Liam Nisa.
Oh, really?
Yeah, he's amazing.
It's a really good movie.
It's well acted.
Nice.
You're rarely pulled out of it.
And it's a little bit predictable, but not really.
And you're rarely pulled out of it.
He just needs someone to give him a chance.
They should pay me for these plugs.
Yeah.
You know how many snobs wouldn't give this even a fair, even kind of a fair shake?
They're missing out on great movies.
All I want is action movies.
I mean, they do have the whole curse.
All I want is because my obsession is my family.
They're constantly under siege.
I've got these Karens and Antifa threatening me and my family.
And if I was a single dad, I would, I'm not a single dad.
If I was a single man, I would love it.
I'd be like, okay, let's set up the fights.
I'll be at my house on Thursday and come by.
Try to sneak in the back door.
I want to test out some security there.
And then I can shoot you or we can have a knife fight.
But, you know, they affect your wife's social life, your wife's sanity.
And so these are a great release to imagine what you would do to these people fucking with your family.
And I can't wait to see this new Jason Statham.
*Sigh*
The Wrath of Man.
It's called the Wrath of Man.
What?
That's your Jason Statham?
I don't know.
I haven't heard him talk in a long time.
It's East English.
It's East London, cockney, whatever, but with a hoarse voice.
Why are you mucking about?
Botico Security, specialized in cash trucks across LA.
Do you have any idea how dangerous this job can be?
Shamade, yeah.
We ain't the predators, we're the prey.
Come on, though, yeah.
Has he ever tried to lose the accent for a movie?
I hope he does it in this.
I feel like thanks to the internet, we're so international now that it doesn't pull us out to hear that weird accent.
Yeah.
Like, look at rap.
One of the biggest things in rap now are these Swedish dudes.
I forget what it's called.
Dark Nell or something.
I lost my daughter.
Temporary sign-off.
Why don't you flip pistols in a machine gun?
Fine.
Do you have a problem?
I don't know.
Go on.
Don't be on the grand drop.
You got a problem?
They're serious!
Leave this to me.
Listen to me, you fucking cunt.
Sorry, pal.
This is what all men want to be.
Murderers.
I actually don't want to see...
Hello, I'm...
I'm on the show right now.
What's that Swedish rap you're talking about?
Young Leon.
Young Leon?
Young Lean.
Young Lean.
And what's that kind of rap called?
Drain Gang?
Green Gang?
Just drain, like drainer.
Like a Draino?
Just like Drainers, and then he's in Drain Gang.
What are Drainers?
Like, when you're draining spaghetti?
That's draining.
People who like Drain Gang.
Yeah, you're just saying more of the same thing.
If you're trying to explain something, you got to give me an analogy.
Like fans of Drain Gang.
Okay, all right.
I got it.
Drain gang.
That's it.
Okay, thank you.
She's like, drainers.
What do you mean?
I don't know if you're saying dreeners or, you know, fans of drain gang.
Yeah.
It's still lost.
If I had an ER to it, then it should give you context.
It's Zorkods.
What's the, you know, like people who Zork.
Zorkadters?
You know, Zorkhotters.
Zorkod?
From those who's Zorkading?
Come on, man.
I don't know what you're saying, lady.
My point with this is like, no one has a problem with this.
They probably would have.
I remember Canadian rap got mocked a lot and, you know, European rap was never really considered rap.
French rap from France was cool in France, but it never left.
But now I feel like with young people and maybe most of us, we just were kind of international.
It's true.
Someone was asking about that international Kebin story recently.
So I'm in Costa Rica.
I had a home there.
The blacks in Costa Rica are kind of Rastafarian.
They have a Caribbean accent.
Not on the other coast, but in Costa Rica.
I don't get it.
I guess they derive from fucking Caribbean slaves or something.
But there was this guy, I forget his name, but he couldn't get my name right.
He called me Kebin.
Wagwan Kebin?
I got all manner of things vexing me so.
And we may have done the occasional nose beers.
And so he only wore shorts.
He lived in a tent on the beach.
He was a homeless person.
And I put him in vice in the do's and don'ts.
And so I come back the next year and I'm like, check it out, dude.
You're in the do's and don'ts.
And he got so fucking mad.
Wow.
Because he thought we were making fun of him.
Oh.
And he was like, he goes, you don't, he goes, you don't think, you don't know who I am, Kebin.
I'm international.
And he was a heavy Coke addict.
And he kept telling me, I'm international, Kebin.
And then he's like, Kebin, come here.
And then it was on my Chismo thing.
I'm like, is he going to stab me?
I can't say no.
They look like a pussy.
So, and in that little tiny village, like that would have been the thing.
I would have been known as the pussy guy who didn't walk over to a man.
Didn't walk over to a man.
So I go, all right.
So I walk over and I'm, my, I'm, I have fucking Adderall eyes because I'm just like, is there a knife?
Is this shit going down?
I'm not going to let the door lock behind me.
So he goes and he's doing a bump.
I may or may not have had a bump of Runski.
And he looks at me.
He goes, don't fuck around, Kebin.
Oh, no.
And I'm going, all right, this is getting pretty intense.
And he goes, because if you fuck around, you get abused.
Seen?
Oh, that's so foreign and so bad.
And I was like, okay, I got it.
Weren't scared?
I was scared.
Okay, yeah.
He was a psycho.
Yeah, I'm scared.
He looked like the bad guy in ghost.
You know, the black guy in ghost who gets eaten by subway monsters?
That's exactly what he looked like.
And for all I know, he had a fucking knife in his...
That's it.
He didn't own shirts or shoes.
I'm like, has he got a knife up his ass, crack?
What did you look up, by the way, to find that guy?
Black guy and ghost.
Okay, black guy in quotes.
Movie ghost.
Wait, did you put one word in quotes, the word ghost?
Yes.
You did.
Yes.
You did.
Yeah, just the word subway.
I mean, a ghost.
Yes.
Ryan, you don't put a word in quotes when you're searching.
Quotes mean group this together.
How do you group one word together?
Oh, gotcha.
So it would be ghost movie.
Wait, this isn't the guy.
You look like him?
Is that a black guy?
No.
Okay, so it's probably not him.
I would go black guy movie ghost and use no quotes or you're going to get something called the movie ghost.
That's boogie.
I can't believe you put one word in quotes.
Black guy movie ghost.
You know who I'm talking about, right?
No, I haven't seen this in years.
I remember seeing this in the game.
No one has.
Nobody has seen ghost recently.
That's a good point.
Anyway, while you try to find that out, we have to get, We went 45 minutes instead of 30.
Oh, my voice sounds so cool now.
I've been talking all day.
There he is.
Oh, shh.
I know my outgoing message now.
Hi, you've reached Gavin.
Sorry I can't get back to you.
I'm fucking a bunch of chicks on a motorcycle listening to Van Halen on my way to Chuck Zito's house.
But if you leave a message, I might get back to you.
Probably not.
Probably not.
Actually, don't leave a message.
You're a fag.
Boop.
Make that your outgoing message on your phone.
Ow, the ribs now.
I've never had my ribs broken up so high.
So coughing and sneezing isn't as bad as you think.
But just occasionally someone will leave an exacto blade in your ribs.
And you'll feel this like, cha-cha-cha-cha.
Wait, you found it and you still can't find it?
No, I found it.
I just.
We want to see the scene.
There he is.
He's like, but wait, before you show the scene, Johnny Apple CBD, our favorite sponsor, our sponsor here since De Uno, fantastic sponsor.
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Telling you, man, you have a hard leg day?
I've been doing a lot of, what are these triceps?
I've been doing these things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You pull this doohickey.
And these are aching.
You put some of the topicals on that.
Gone.
It doesn't hurt cracked ribs.
I mean, help cracked ribs, but it helps all that, especially leg days, those aching leg days.
While you're getting ripped, you need johnnyapplecbd.com.
And people always say, is it johnnyapple.com?
What is it?
JACBD?
Yes, all of those work.
JohnnyApple.com works.
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Same promo code with Nita Fashions, Tactical Walls, and Johnny Apple.
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Thanks, Johnny Apple.
We like you more than a friend.
I got a lot of stuff to cover here.
A lot of racial shit this year.
Proud boys in prison, free speech, cancel culture, critical race theory, ridiculous statues.
Great letters we've been getting these days about guys getting fired for having the wrong opinions, especially in the police force.
We want to discuss all that, but not for freeloaders like you.
This is only going to go behind the paywall.
I'm so excited about this new voice.
I think I'm going to record my last will and testament.
Did you find the footage yet?
I got the full movie.
I don't want the full movie.
You better not be fucking buying it.
No, no, no.
Just find the scene with that guy.
You got his name.
It didn't tell me his name, actually.
It was Things I Like blog.
Okay.
So that's stuff.
Anyway, we're going to find that scene just because Ryan has to learn how to finish a job.
But all of this is going to go on behind the paywall.
If you go to censor.tv, you spend a few three nickels.
No, three dimes and a nickel a day.
Pocket change, $10 a month, and you get more content than you should be watching.
I'm up to two hours a day these days.
We've got all new shows coming in.
Despite the rumors Milo's spreading, we've got three new shows coming up, much more down the line too.
And once we build a studio, I can start having shows that aren't mine in that studio.
I'm also going to start doing a bunch of interview shows.
I've got a bar set I've built and a sit-down set I've built.
For the bar set, I want to do like regular Joe's, Vietnam vets, plumbers, ask them about their trade.
For the fancy set, we'll talk to celebrities like Hank Coulter, James O'Keefe, ask them what's going on, what makes them tick.
Very exciting year up ahead, despite what the media tells you.
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