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May 14, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:10:04

GOML LIVE #98 - AFFIRMATIVE ACTION

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	He's just a stereotype.
	He drinks his age and pints.
	This is Miles' old coat.
	It's a silly character I retired.
	Isn't it funny what we do here?
	No, these armrests are very greasy.
	Were you?
	I didn't grease them.
	Isn't it funny how we make our own TV shows?
	TV got really bad.
	Movies got shitty.
	They got woke.
	And I forgot to send you my notes.
	And so what happened?
	People just started saying, I'll make my own television.
	And a lot of them sucked, not going to lie.
	A lot of shitty garbage.
	But a lot of people started making good stuff.
	And they started getting more views and making more money.
	And being good at it, if you will.
	Perfect.
	Like fucking Joe Rogues.
	Right?
	He gets way more viewers than Anderson Cooper.
	But I'm sure if you talk to a boomer, they'd go, oh, Joe Rogan does some stupid podcast.
	But Anderson Cooper, well, he works at CNN.
	But as far as annual income and viewership goes, SARS.
	We've got a lot to talk about today.
	We've got a fun show planned for you.
	We should probably address the Milo situation, right?
	Situation.
	It's a very Milo situation.
	It's a very Milo situation.
	People are asking me if I'm okay.
	Really?
	Yes.
	They're like, dude, you can produce my podcast if you want.
	My friend Pierce, Blackballed.
	Okay.
	I was like, I don't like getting into this kind of stuff.
	He said, she said, and then it goes back and forth.
	And I'm a drunk.
	So inevitably, there's an email where I said, you're, oh, fuck your whole family and jizz on your dad.
	Yeah, I have one.
	If you know you, you got one from you.
	So you're like, I don't want to get into it.
	He who has not sinned may cast the first stone.
	But then he starts casting stones.
	So the stones were, we fired all our staff, A. B, they were always late to pay me.
	And I guess that's basically it.
	I wish them nothing but the best, but they're struggling.
	Oh, so like concern trolling.
	Yeah, which is a good tactic when you're insulting someone.
	We learned this in high school where the mean girls would go, I actually feel sorry for her.
	Yeah.
	Because then you're so high above the fat chick that you're like, I don't even want to hurt her.
	I'd actually like her to lose weight and she could be my friend.
	It would be cruel.
	She's cursed with that body.
	So the paying, so there's nothing complicated here.
	Always follow Occam's razor with these kind of things.
	There's no like, he fucked my wife or censored.tv's falling apart or any of that shit.
	It's never that juicy, unfortunately.
	And I'm like you.
	I love gossip.
	So I'm always disappointed when I find out the truth because I'm like, oh, really?
	The truth is, there was just a back and forth about payment and this and that.
	And he's clearly high maintenance.
	You may have guessed that Milo is not easy to work with.
	The 300 producers he've churned through are an indication of that.
	So there was something going on.
	It was like a minor thing.
	I think we had given him a $10,000 advance because he's moving to Florida.
	And he's like, just give me a bunch of shows in advance.
	I don't know why I'm doing that accent.
	That's not how he talks.
	That's not how he talks.
	Hi, I'm Milo.
	And I'm like, whatever are you guys?
	It's the Miles coat.
	He talks like he's Dr. Frankenfurter meets with Nail.
	Is that it?
	Yeah.
	That's perfect, yes.
	But he walks like the Grinch.
	No offense.
	Meets the Grinch.
	Yes.
	With the Jim Carrey Grinch.
	Correct.
	So it's going back and forth, blah, blah, blah.
	And he's like, I need more money now, and I have to do this.
	And then someone on the email chain Was like, you know what?
	We're good.
	It was some minor thing like that.
	And then it was like, you know what?
	I see which way the wind is blowing.
	Actually, I prefer this accent.
	Because when I do like his accent, you think I'm talking about an intellectual from Harvard.
	And that's not the attitude in this particular story, though he is an intellectual.
	The man is very smart and a joy to be around.
	Yeah, he's lovely.
	He came to my house.
	He slept over.
	He was great with my wife, my kids, like a very charming guy.
	I like him, believe it or not.
	Although I'm mad at him right now.
	Professionally.
	Professionally mad.
	That's a good t-shirt.
	That's pretty cool.
	What's up here?
	Professionally mad, and I'm working overtime.
	Okay, no.
	I'm sorry.
	Oh, you're really happy about that joke.
	Professionally mad and I'm working overtime.
	The Rye guy nailed it again.
	Just disregard.
	I'm sorry.
	I apologize.
	What do you think, everyone?
	Good morning.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	I should be ashamed.
	I'm sorry.
	No, no, this is a normal, mediocre C-minus joke.
	It's a tagline.
	So he goes, I can see which way the wind is blowing.
	I think we're done here.
	I'll do shows at the end of the month and then we're gone.
	And I was like, you know what?
	Good.
	Yeah, okay, bye.
	And then after that, there was some like, so I shouldn't be looking for a new producer?
	And I go, no, you quit.
	You're a very expensive dude to work with.
	And I realized after you said that, I could get like three shows for that cost.
	So bye.
	And then I think he said to another dude, another manager at the machine, you're targeting me.
	And then he goes, no, dude, we're cutting the slack.
	We just got rid of the news section.
	We're firing people left and right.
	Meaning like in the world of firing, which is at all companies, especially networks where you clear out the bottom five shows every year, right?
	You're part of that.
	It's not like, we hate you, you bitch.
	That's what he was trying to say.
	And then that became their firing their entire editorial staff, which I don't really know what that means.
	Like, all our shows are gone?
	So that takes off.
	You can check censored.tv now.
	I'm explaining it all.
	That fucking loser beta male saddy, Jared Holt, who now works for this pretentious left-wing think tank, which I think is associated with CrowdStrike.
	Twink tank.
	And they're deeply entwined in this sort of blue-and-on deep state.
	But anyway, it's not a real thing.
	And he was like, they're done.
	We win.
	Where are you right now?
	My Twitter.
	Why wouldn't you go to censor.tv, like I said?
	Wouldn't that be more logical when I'm to go to the site that I named?
	No, that's also Twitter, my friend.
	Oh, go to the site.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	It's the site where you work at.
	Gotcha.
	It's introducing the spiel.
	Ryan.
	So he puts out a tweet saying they're finally gone and, you know, gloating already.
	Like, they never talked about censored.tv.
	In fact, I think Milo goes, Milo's attitude is, you should thank me.
	You're finally being talked about.
	Which there's an argument there.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	I was fired.
	He's laying off all of its staff.
	So we're getting into tons of shows.
	We do that all the time.
	We're not targeting you.
	That became laying off all its staff.
	And again, the guy quit in a divo rage.
	Great research there by Mr. Holt.
	Well, he avoids litigation by saying Milo said this, but then he confirms it by playing the lobster tiny violin.
	From SpongeBob, yeah.
	But anyway, it's all bullshit, fake news, as per us.
	Censored.tv is doing great.
	We are up to 25,000 subscribers.
	We did have payment processing problems a couple months ago, but there's been no change on that.
	We've been getting a lot of press this week, by the way.
	Michael Graves, Josh LaCash, Josh Denny, Gavin Wax, Isabelle O'Reilly.
	Things are fantastic.
	You know we made it to Breitbart, by the way?
	Oh, that's a stretch.
	Yep.
	But is the Breitbart...
	Do I want to make it to Breitbart on this?
	On Censor TV.
	Radio Deadly with Michael Graves on Censored TV.
	This is about the Danzig, Michael Graves, the two singers of the band, Misfits.
	Paul helped us along, Paul Bazile.
	And also, Metal Sucks and another site have gotten censored TV plugs.
	Very cool.
	Good.
	Well, Michael Graves has like 200,000 email listers.
	And I'm like, Mike, we got to get it out on that, please.
	Anyway, that's, I'm telling you, our private business, ruining the whole fun of the show, by the way.
	I don't like all this behind the curtain shit.
	It's like seeing your wife put on her lingerie and fiddling with those, you know, little things, garter belts that go on the stockings.
	You got to leave the bedroom and come back and everything's ready.
	But another allegation Milo made was that we were late 11 payments out of 12.
	And I'd already explained that to him.
	We agreed to a monthly fee.
	So you don't get paid in advance for the first month.
	After you're done the four shows, say it's December, January 1st, you get December's pay.
	So you were getting your monthly fee.
	Like, don't you think it's a coincidence that every single month is exactly 30 days late?
	It's called your paycheck, dude.
	Anyway, we're done.
	I'm mad about the layoff while it's staff.
	I don't know if I'll get over it.
	Probably never going to speak to him again.
	I'm very sensitive about betrayal.
	And I see this as, I mean, not a knife in the back, but it's a toothpick in the back.
	And I don't like that.
	I don't like the butt chick.
	So that's in the news today.
	Also, oh, we didn't talk about the specials.
	that album was stereotyped by the specials, it was their second album.
	I think that album covers a great look for you, by the way.
	Not mod.
	It's too hard to be a mod.
	They're too perfect.
	In fact, that was the whole culture of mods.
	I prefer this sort of washed-up mod, you know?
	Like you've already done your albums and you're made your money and you're kind of a mod slob.
	And that's why are you not looking up the album cover I'm discussing?
	I was getting ready the bumper that we are going to watch soon.
	Yeah, no, we're not doing that for a minute.
	So the specials?
	Yeah, you had it up.
	It was the YouTube thing.
	You really are liming it out of the park today.
	Yeah, that look.
	So neat and tidy.
	But, you know, not too neat and tidy.
	And on vacation.
	Doesn't that look like a great hang right there?
	A bunch of pints.
	Someone's bored.
	There's some conjecture going on.
	You know?
	There's someone like, what would you rather do?
	Be buried alive or drown?
	Um, alright, let's start the show.
	Uh, I noticed there's an ad going around about recruitment into the military.
	And it's pretty shocking.
	It's pretty sad.
	Dude, have you noticed how fucking ripped I am?
	Now, first of all, this is my Miles coat.
	It's actually my wife's coat, and I'm wearing it because we have a military theme today, but I'm bulging out of it like an absolute fucking WWE beast.
	I've become a monster.
	I'm not exactly that ripped on the front body torso.
	The front body torso is the hardest to work, so don't even blame it.
	The front body torso is the hardest part to work.
	Especially when you drink fucking 50 beers a day.
	So I wanted to discuss with you the American military and these cringe ads to try to get more, I don't know, dykes.
	We are the laughingstock of the fucking world.
	You want to know why?
	Because not only do we allow the pussification of America, but we encourage it.
	That's the problem.
	Oh, and one more thing.
	We also totally demean and criticize anything remotely masculine.
	Now, that's bad when it comes to fatherhood, when it comes to running a fucking burger joint.
	Pretty much everything, but it's especially bad when it comes to the military.
	A big part of the American military is a deterrent.
	I want you to be scared of us.
	I want John Kerry in the electric chair for being a traitor and giving secrets to Iran.
	That would make the world shit their pants.
	I want the Middle East to go, oh no, America.
	So when you hear about the military, I want you to see big, strong, scary men.
	Not some fucking random social justice warrior, Dyke.
	So I want to start this.
	This is a Russian recruitment video.
	I speak fluent Russian, so I'll be able to translate it for you.
	I'm going to compare that to a recruitment video for our side, which is very disappointing, to say the least.
	Okay, let's get started.
	I am a man.
	I am sick of being a pussy.
	I want to do something with my life.
	I'm sick of fucking around with my friends who can afford Air Jordans, which is very rare.
	And I like girls and stuff, but it's time to start a life.
	I want a family.
	I want to do something.
	I'm also fucking ripped.
	I rip men's head offs.
	For fun, I can see that soccer ball I was kicking.
	I kick a faggot like that in the teeth.
	And then I could do about a million push-ups.
	I joined the army.
	And we learned to jump over things.
	I am triumphant now, all of a sudden.
	And shooting and getting into the greatest shape of my life with a military that is the strongest in the world.
	We are fearless.
	And not only am I building a better family and a future for myself, but I am forging the future for my entire country.
	This is a future of Russia.
	This is the future of me.
	And this is the future of my manhood.
	Die, motherfuckers!
	Assault.
	And that does two things.
	That recruits bona fide asshole.
	No, sorry, bonafide tough guy.
	Asshole too, maybe.
	That's a good thing in this case.
	That's kind of what I want to get at.
	You don't want to pander to anyone.
	The video you're about to see is clearly pandering.
	Are we that desperate for people to sign up to the military?
	Are our numbers shockingly low?
	Like, I think a good recruitment video would be the armed forces, don't join.
	You're a pussy.
	Or you don't have the balls to join.
	It shouldn't even have a door.
	The recruitment place should have, you have to punch your way through like a sidewall.
	I don't want, like, people used to say the proud boys are trying to recruit people.
	No, we didn't want anyone you had to recruit.
	It should be hard to get into.
	Going out there and trying to sell it, it's like fucking, really.
	Like, I don't want to plead for, I want someone, I want to fuck someone that want to fucks me, that wants to fuck me.
	I don't want to be like, you can try it.
	You don't have to suck it.
	You can just hug me.
	That's not true.
	You've got to fuck me.
	So this video, so again, there's two problems here.
	One, the message we're sending to the world.
	And two, the kind of people we're encouraging.
	I want our army to be the top.
	I want our police to be all male.
	We can have women filling out forms.
	I want the police on the streets to be all male and all over six feet and fucking fearless.
	Same with our firemen.
	I want them all to be able to carry a fat pig down the stairs without getting a hernia.
	Obviously.
	Almost everything I say, I should have all caps at the end.
	Obviously.
	This is not a radical belief.
	This is a radical belief.
	All right, so let's forget the whole, we are the laughingstock and we're sending out a bad message.
	But let's just look at the kind of person we're recruiting.
	This is the story of a soldier who operates your nation's Patriot missile defense systems.
	Sounds good.
	That looks like a badass system.
	I don't like this kind of animation, but...
	It begins in California.
	Okay.
	With a little girl raised by two moms.
	So, stop.
	So we're trying to get the children of lesbians.
	Is that a thing?
	What's the data on this, by the way?
	With like sexual molestation and stuff?
	I've seen that it's a relatively new concept, right?
	Being raised by gays.
	But I've heard rumors that they all turn out fucked up.
	It's just that it's so new, we don't really know yet.
	And then, of course, if you were to ever say that on a platform outside of censor.tv, you'd get, fuck you, I was raised by two dads and I cured cancer.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I'm talking about thousands of people here and what general patterns have formed.
	All right, so you were raised by two moms.
	Very rare, but whatever.
	If you were going to be an orphan otherwise, I don't give a shit.
	I guess it's better than living in an orphanage.
	Why is this relevant, though, to who you are?
	Although I had a fairly typical childhood, took ballet, played violin, I also marched for equality.
	Okay, so the sentiment here is, stop, that if you're raised by gays, they have to be activists, because that's what gays do, right?
	Because we live in such a homophobic society, they need to be activists to survive.
	So this is the new military.
	We have activist children.
	Never mind the possibility that gays and lesbians don't really have to be politically active.
	Couldn't they be conservative gays?
	Is that possible?
	And look at these motherfucking platitudes.
	Respect everyone?
	Should I respect pedophiles?
	Should I respect some big fat loser that drinks a bottle of fucking gin a day and then shits himself?
	Should I respect a dad who abandoned his children right after they were born like fucking Katsu did?
	And love each other?
	Why?
	Wait, who?
	I need more conditions there.
	I'm not throwing around this love all willy-nilly.
	Who are you, Willard P. Nillard?
	From an early age.
	When I was six years old, one of my moms had an accident that left her paralyzed.
	Doctors said she might never walk again.
	She's fat.
	But she tapped into my family's pride to get back on her feet.
	She tapped?
	Stop.
	What the fuck?
	She tapped into my family's pride.
	Like they weren't ashamed that they were gay.
	I guarantee you live in Portland or Berkeley.
	Oh, no, they already showed us, right?
	Or somewhere in California?
	No one is...
	Everyone's proud to be your friend.
	You're a status symbol.
	Oh, I was hanging out with my two moms the other day.
	Wow.
	Can you show up at one of my parties?
	I saw this black woman walking around the suburbs today.
	Sorry, a white woman with a black woman.
	And she obviously didn't live anywhere near there.
	But you could tell the white woman was so fucking thrilled to be walking with a black woman.
	I don't know if it was her maid or her daughter's fucking bongo teacher or something.
	But she was just like, her feet were not touching the ground.
	She was just like, everybody's seeing this.
	I'm with the POC.
	Anyway, sorry, tangent.
	You might never walk again.
	But she tapped into my family's pride to get back on her feet.
	Eventually standing at the altar to marry my other mom.
	Okay, stop.
	So she said she was six, right?
	What took these fucking bitches so long to get married?
	Of course, there's black people at the wedding.
	What took her so long to get married?
	So let's say the physical therapy took a year, a year and a half, seven.
	Maybe she's eight now.
	You didn't get married till your kid was eight.
	You're a fuck-up.
	You're not good parents.
	Why is there menstrual blood all over the ground?
	With such powerful role models, I finished high school at the top of my class and then attended UC Davis.
	So she did well because she had powerful lesbian parents, okay?
	Other strong women.
	But as graduation approached, I began feeling like I'd been handed so much in life.
	A sorority girl stereotype.
	Sure, I'd spent my life around inspiring women.
	Okay, stop.
	That was kind of crazy.
	The left is coming full circle and it's about to eat itself.
	You know how you can see a dog about to bite?
	The left is about to bite a huge chunk out of its own leg.
	So she's the, you know, they're insatiable, right?
	So she's the daughter of two lesbians.
	So you get a free pass.
	You're good.
	No.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	Not anymore.
	Now you grew up privileged because you had the privilege of being with two wonderful, loving lesbians who are white.
	So now you're bad.
	Now you're part of the patriarchy.
	You're the oppressor.
	And then they start getting, you can tell like in the story, it's sort of folding in on itself because it goes, sure, I did have lesbian parents, but I also had a privileged lifestyle.
	So now, this is getting really weird.
	A way to fight your own innate white privilege as the child of lesbians is to join the army because that's black.
	What the fuck is going on here?
	Sure, I'd spent my life around inspiring women.
	But what had I really achieved on my own?
	One of my sorority sisters was studying abroad in Italy.
	Studying abroad in Italy?
	Well, you sure hang around with a lot of lesbians.
	Everyone's studying broads around here.
	Climbing Mount Everest.
	Who wrote this?
	A nine-year-old?
	And after meeting with an army recruiter, I decided to Be the only woman in the world who can pull herself up on a rope.
	And maybe shatter some stereotypes along the way.
	You are 100% stereotype.
	I'm U.S. Army Corporal Emma Malone Lord, and I answered my calling.
	It should be strength.
	Strength and bravery are kind of the top things for the Army.
	Not growing up with lesbian parents and ashamed of your own white privilege.
	This does not bode well for the future, my friends.
	We shouldn't be showing the rest of the world that we're a bunch of fucking pussies, and we should not be importing so much pussy that's been raised by two pussies into our army.
	It's not good.
	What's that other one?
	Is that a third one, Ryan?
	It's a whole series?
	That was just the intro here, but it's good for the party bottom.
	Jesus H. Christ.
	So now the military is all about colors and color and gender and gayness.
	That's our last fucking priority.
	Can we have a meritocracy anywhere?
	In fact, the military is disproportionately black, isn't it?
	Okay, let me see.
	What is this?
	Same thing, but I have this cool intro.
	Oh.
	Oh, it's the same thing, but a better intro.
	So that's a whole series.
	Just because I'm black doesn't mean I can't join the army.
	Uh, yeah, thanks.
	I gotta go.
	My rib still hurts, by the way, if anyone's asking.
	I forgot to read our promos, Tactical Walls, a great segue to a great advertiser, a great sponsor for the show, tacticalwalls.com.
	If you go there and put in the code Gavin, you get 20% off your entire order, no matter how big it is.
	And again, look at what they have.
	They've got cool furniture with secret hidden gun compartments.
	They have shit for your truck.
	They have mod walls where you can display all your guns.
	Imagine you open up your closet.
	Say you live in a great state like Florida, right?
	You open up your closet to show your guns, and they just, they look like that scene in The Kingsman where all the guns are revealed.
	That's what Tactical Walls makes.
	And if you don't have guns and you're not in a great gun state, they have all kinds of great sports stuff.
	But it's one thing to have guns.
	It's another thing to be able to display them beautifully, like you can, thanks to the people at tacticalwalls.com.
	Vet-owned, American-made.
	They stand by us.
	Remember, all of our sponsors are constantly harassed by lunatics.
	Just so you know, this was also probably Tactical Walls.
	Yes, Tactical Walls UK.
	Tactical Walls UK.
	So all of our sponsors are constantly harassed.
	So when you see someone who advertises on this show, you're looking at someone who's not only patriotic and supports free speech, but doesn't kowtow to the mob.
	And that's what Tactical Walls refuses to do.
	This is only 30 bucks.
	Look at this.
	Have that right there in your car.
	30 bucks.
	Bam.
	Boom.
	30 bucks.
	Boom.
	Under the sink.
	Boom.
	You think I'm washing dishes?
	I'm a pussy?
	Yeah, right.
	You want to fucking jump into my house, attack my wife, attack my family?
	Wrong.
	I got tactical walls.
	That site goes on and on and on for days, by the way.
	I need this.
	Another sponsor we have starting today is my own Nita Fashions.
	This is a new sponsor.
	You get 15% off if you mention me.
	I don't think there's room for a promo code.
	Just mention Gavin.
	You get 15% off.
	Now, Nita Fashions, I always called it a, it's for rich, cheap guys.
	And I would buy my suits here in America, but they want to charge like five grand.
	These guys charge one grand, maybe two grand if you're going nuts.
	Infinite possibilities.
	And they make them in Hong Kong.
	Now, they used to fly out to a hotel room in every city in the world, Glasgow, Singapore, New York, and they'd measure you all up.
	And then they have this book that's devoted to you.
	And I cannot recommend this enough, dude.
	Once they have your measurements, you can order swatches or you can just look at the colors.
	Because the quality is so good, you'll just be like, just give me a fucking blue shirt.
	And they're like, what kind of blue?
	And you go, I don't know, normal blue.
	It's like when I go to a restaurant.
	I just go, obviously a cheeseburger, medium rare, cheddar cheese, and a Budweiser.
	That should just be the norm.
	But now that with COVID, what these guys do is you get that stringy tailor thing, and they put it around your neck.
	And you have your wife or whatever.
	My daughter did this last time.
	And you read out all the waistline and the chest and all that stuff.
	And then they get all your measurements and then they do it via FedEx and ship it to you.
	Dude, when you have a custom-made suit, it feels like PJs.
	It's a totally different experience.
	And I know a lot of us go, oh, fuck, I don't want to wear a suit.
	That's a pain in the ass.
	No, dude, when your suit is custom-tailored to you and the shirts fit you and the neck isn't tight, you look like such a loser, by the way, when you have your top button undone.
	You don't look professional.
	And I can't tell you how many producers and engineers and staff members at Fox News don't do their top buttons and they have a tie on.
	It makes you look like a retard.
	You need the neck to fit your neck.
	But once you get that and you put the top button on, you're like, this isn't even remotely uncomfortable.
	I could be in New York City on the subway in July and I feel like I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt because this fits me perfectly.
	And that's why I'll always go to Nita Fashions.
	I think I have like 12 suits with them.
	And they say Gavin McInnes on the inside.
	I mean, I'll give these to my kids.
	I'll will them.
	And if you're a cheap ass, you can get shirts for as little as like, I think $60.
	You can get a suit for, I think, like, this has been a while, but like $800.
	And then, of course, you can go right up to 150 with the shirts or even more, where this fabric is like as thick as this coat.
	And it's just this awesome, thick shirt.
	So anyway, you should have one suit.
	You'll have your wedding tuxedo.
	You have your funeral suit.
	Even if you don't wear suits, you should have one.
	Get it at Nita Fashions.
	Use the promo code Gavin, 15% off.
	And that'll just be like, say you're not a suit person.
	Say you're a redneck and you work for John Deere.
	That's my, I have that suit.
	You have that one suit in your closet for weddings and funerals and everything, where it's the one time you dress up, you know, your son's graduation.
	And it should be a Nita Fashion suit.
	Anyway.
	Ooh.
	That's a good look.
	Yeah.
	I saw the marksman, by the way.
	Have you seen this story where this guy, it's not in the notes, but this guy, a farmer in Texas just walking around.
	There's a bunch of kids lying on the ground?
	It's...
	Of course, my phone is charging.
	Yeah, he's...
	I think what's going on with the borders is they were pried open by Joe Biden.
	And we learned thanks to AOC that children in cages is a big deal, right?
	There it is.
	So what these scumbag cartels started doing was just like grabbing random kids, because human life means nothing down there, and children are meaningless.
	Let's grab some random kids, the same way you would grab peanuts at the bar, and throw them with the group.
	And then when you get busted, you're like, this is my son, whatever the fuck his name is.
	He's my little kid.
	And now it's a family at the border, and that helps you get through.
	It helps you get your processed.
	It just helps you overall.
	It's not their actual kids.
	But I think what happened here was these kids were a pain in the ass.
	They were crying.
	I mean, it's a hell journey.
	It's like, what do they call that?
	Mudder-rucker, mudder-fudder.
	Mudder-rucker, yeah.
	It's a tough mutter.
	Tough mutter.
	It's a major ordeal to cross the border.
	And little kids don't like major ordeals.
	I don't know if you've ever taken a kid to a triasslon in 110-degree heat, but they tend to get grumpy.
	And I believe what happened here is the illegals and the Codis just said, just fucking just leave them there to die.
	I don't have time for this shit.
	So they did.
	And this, yeah, someone brought their five-year-old to that.
	And we're supposed to go, well, they're fleeing pain and suffering.
	No, they're not.
	Drug-dealing, illegal cartels are taking advantage of open borders and using children as cannon fodder.
	That's what's going on, you out-of-touch dunce.
	Anyway, so that guy keeps updating it.
	He's like, this is going to get worse.
	This is not unusual for me to find little kids lying on my fucking lawn.
	Get off my lawn.
	But anyway, The Marksman is this cool movie with Liam Nissan.
	It's a long inside joker aren't worth explaining.
	And similar kind of story.
	Holy shit, I just had the darkest thought on earth.
	Please.
	What if some psycho at the production company that made the movie was an immigrant from Mexico and slipped some money to a cartel to leave some kids at the border to die?
	Because it would be in the news right when the marksman came out.
	And that would be good for business.
	Okay, I didn't think you were going there, but that's interesting.
	I would say there's a one in 720 chance that happened.
	Mine was way darker.
	I pictured you went darker.
	Okay, I don't want to hear it then.
	It doesn't have to do with Jolian, though.
	He's got a fucking...
	It's so weird his accent.
	He's lived in America for a long time now.
	So he has an American accent.
	But he's still Irish.
	So this isn't...
	He's not like, yeehaw, boy, what the fuck's going on?
	He's like, I'm kind of an Irish guy, but I'm still an American.
	And so I kind of enunciate, but it is the top of the morning to you.
	And if it is the morning, I may indulge in some lucky charms.
	I just need a little time to sort things out.
	It's a nothing actually.
	I just need a little time to sort things out.
	I'm not Irish, but I'm not American either.
	Howdy.
	You're never gonna make it.
	I'll call Border Patrol.
	They'll like, sir, you're not even from here.
	Yeah.
	What the fuck?
	I'll call Border Patrol again.
	I come here to take the woman and the boy.
	I was in the Marine Corps, so I suggest you all turn around and add a gospel.
	I'm a soldier too.
	My orders are to take them back with me.
	Mexicans are hot.
	They tend not to have the best assets.
	When they mix, they're great, but otherwise square-bodied.
	Square-bodied boy.
	I like a nice panini sandwich once in a while.
	Nice to meet you.
	That kid, you know how kids ruin movies with their shitty acting?
	Like the little Hmong boy in Gran Torino?
	Yes.
	This kid is as good as Liam Nisa.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, he's amazing.
	It's a really good movie.
	It's well acted.
	Nice.
	You're rarely pulled out of it.
	And it's a little bit predictable, but not really.
	And you're rarely pulled out of it.
	He just needs someone to give him a chance.
	They should pay me for these plugs.
	Yeah.
	You know how many snobs wouldn't give this even a fair, even kind of a fair shake?
	They're missing out on great movies.
	All I want is action movies.
	I mean, they do have the whole curse of brand new movies.
	because my obsession is my family.
	They're constantly under siege.
	I've got these Karens and Antifa threatening me and my family.
	And if I was a single dad, I would, I'm not a single dad.
	If I was a single man, I would love it.
	I'd be like, okay, let's set up the fights.
	I'll be at my house on Thursday.
	You can come by, try to sneak in the back door.
	I want to test out some security there.
	And then I can shoot you or we can have a knife fight.
	But, you know, they affect your wife's social life, your wife's sanity.
	So these are a great release to imagine what you would do to these people fucking with your family.
	And I can't wait to see this new Jason Statham.
	The Wrath of Man.
	It's called the Wrath of Man.
	What?
	That's your Jason Statham?
	I don't know.
	I haven't heard him talk in a long time.
	It's East English.
	It's East London, Cockney, whatever, but with a hoarse voice.
	Why are you mucking about?
	We ain't the predators.
	We're the prey.
	Come on, though.
	Yeah.
	Has he ever tried to lose the accent for a movie?
	I hope he doesn't in this.
	I feel like...
	Thanks to the internet, we're so international now that it doesn't pull us out to hear a weird accent.
	Yeah.
	Like, look at rap.
	One of the biggest things in rap now are these Swedish dudes.
	I forget what it's called.
	Darknell or something.
	Well, that's my daughter.
	Temporary sign-off.
	Do you have a problem?
	I don't know.
	Go on.
	Go on.
	You fucking cunt.
	Sorry, pal.
	This is what all men want to be.
	Murderers.
	I actually don't want to see...
	Stop it.
	Hold on.
	I'm on the show right now.
	What's that Swedish rap you're talking about?
	Young Leon.
	Young Leon?
	Young Lean.
	Young Lean.
	And what's that kind of rap called?
	Drain Gang?
	Green Gang?
	Just drain, like Drainer.
	Like a Draino?
	Like Drainers, and then he's in Drain Gang.
	What are Drainers?
	Like, when you're draining spaghetti?
	That's draining.
	Yeah, you're just saying more of the same thing.
	If you're trying to explain something, you gotta give me an analogy.
	Like fans of Drain Gang.
	Okay, alright.
	I got it.
	Drain Gang.
	That's it.
	Okay, thank you.
	She's like, drainers.
	What do you mean?
	I don't know if she's saying dreeners or, you know, fans of Drain Gang.
	Yeah.
	If I had an ER to it, then it should give you context.
	It's Zorkods.
	What's the, you know, like people who Zork.
	Zorkaders?
	You know, Zorkaders.
	Zorkod?
	From those who's Zorkading?
	Come on, man.
	I don't know what you're saying, lady.
	My point with this is like, no one has a problem with this.
	They probably would have.
	I remember Canadian rap got mocked a lot and, you know, European rap was never really considered rap.
	French rap from France was cool in France, but it never left.
	But now I feel like with young people and maybe most of us, we just were kind of international.
	It's true.
	Someone was asking about that international Kebin story recently.
	So I'm in Costa Rica.
	I had a home there.
	The blacks in Costa Rica are kind of Rastafarian.
	They have a Caribbean accent.
	Not on the other coast, but in Costa Rica.
	I don't get it.
	I guess they derive from fucking Caribbean slaves or something.
	But there was this guy.
	I forget his name, but he couldn't get my name right.
	He called me Kebin.
	Waguan Kebin?
	I got all manra tings vexing me so.
	And we may have done the occasional nose beers.
	And so he only wore shorts.
	He lived in a tent on the beach.
	He was a homeless person.
	And I put him in vice in the do's and don'ts.
	And so I come back the next year and I'm like, check it out, dude.
	You're in the do's and don'ts.
	And he got so fucking mad.
	Wow.
	Because he thought we were making fun of him.
	Oh.
	And he was like, he goes, you don't, he goes, you don't think, you don't know who I am, Kebin.
	I'm international.
	And he was a heavy Coke addict.
	And he kept telling me, I'm international, Kebine.
	And then he's like, Kebin, come here.
	And then it was on my Chismo thing.
	I'm like, is he going to stab me?
	I can't say no.
	They look like a pussy.
	So, and in that little tiny village, like that would have been the thing.
	I would have been known as the pussy guy who didn't walk over to a man.
	Didn't walk over to a man.
	So I go, all right.
	So I walk over and I'm, my, I'm, I have fucking Adderall eyes.
	So I'm just like, is there a knife?
	Is this shit going down?
	I'm not going to let the door lock behind me.
	So he goes and he's doing a bump.
	I may or may not have had a bump of Runski.
	And he looks at me.
	He goes, don't fuck around, Kebby.
	Oh, no.
	And I'm going, all right, this is getting pretty intense.
	And he goes, because if you fuck around, you get abused.
	See?
	Oh, that's so far and so bad.
	And I was like, okay, I got it.
	Weren't scared?
	I was scared.
	Okay, yeah.
	He was a psycho.
	Yeah, I'm scared.
	He looked like the bad guy in ghost.
	You know, the black guy in ghost who gets eaten by subway monsters?
	That's exactly what he looked like.
	And for all I know, he had a fucking knife in his.
	All he wore was shorts, like little tiny Adidas little shorts.
	That's it.
	He didn't Own shirts or shoes.
	I'm like, has he got a knife up his ass?
	Crack?
	What did you look up, by the way, to find that guy?
	Black guy and ghost.
	Okay, black guy in movie ghost.
	Wait, did you put one word in quotes?
	The word ghost?
	Yes.
	You did.
	Yes.
	You did.
	Yeah, just the word subway.
	I mean, a ghost, yes.
	Ryan, you don't put a word in quotes when you're searching.
	Quotes mean group this together.
	How do you group one word together?
	Oh, gotcha.
	So it would be ghost movie.
	Wait, this isn't the guy.
	He looked like him?
	Is that a black guy?
	No.
	Okay, so it's probably not him.
	I would go black guy movie ghost and use no quotes.
	Or you're going to get something called the movie ghost.
	That's boogie.
	I can't believe you put one word in quotes.
	Black guy movie ghost.
	You know who I'm talking about, right?
	No, I haven't seen this in years.
	I remember seeing this in the game.
	No one has.
	Nobody has seen ghost recently.
	That's a good point.
	Anyway, while you try to find that out, we have to get...
	We went way too long.
	We went 45 minutes instead of 30.
	Oh, my voice sounds so cool now.
	I've been talking all day.
	There he is.
	I should do my outgoing message now.
	Hi, you've reached Gavin.
	Sorry, I can't get back to you.
	I'm fucking a bunch of chicks on a motorcycle listening to Van Halen on my way to Chuck Zito's house.
	But if you leave a message, I might get back to you.
	Probably not.
	Probably not.
	Actually, don't leave a message.
	You're a fag.
	Make that your echoing message on your phone.
	Ow, the ribs now.
	I've never had my ribs broken up so high.
	So coughing and sneezing isn't as bad as you think.
	But just occasionally someone will leave an exacto blade in your ribs.
	And you'll feel this like, cha-cha-cha-da.
	Wait, you found it and you still can't find it?
	No, I found it.
	I just.
	You want to see the scene?
	There he is.
	He's like, but wait, before you show the scene, Johnny Apple CBD, our favorite sponsor, our sponsor here since De Uno.
	Fantastic sponsor.
	They've got the CBD.
	Pot is magic.
	Take away the illegal shit.
	It's still magic.
	They've got the vape.
	They've got the tinctures that chill out your coffee.
	They've got the gummies that mellow you out.
	They got the concentrates.
	They got the topical.
	They got the supplements.
	Telling you, man, you have a hard leg day?
	I've been doing a lot of, what are these triceps?
	I've been doing these things over here.
	Or all this doohickey.
	And these are aching.
	You put some of the topicals on that.
	Gone.
	It doesn't hurt cracked ribs.
	I mean, help cracked ribs, but it helps all that, especially leg days, those aching leg days.
	While you're getting ripped, you need johnnyapplecbd.com.
	And people always say, is it johnnyapple.com?
	What is it?
	JACBD?
	Yes, all of those work.
	JohnnyApple.com works.
	JACBD.com works.
	And Gavin works.
	Same promo code with Nita Fashions, Tactical Walls, and Johnny Apple.
	The promo code is Gavin.
	With Nita Fashions, you get 15% off.
	With Tactical Walls, you get 20% off.
	And with JACBD, you get 20% off.
	Promo code Gavin.
	Thanks, Johnny Apple.
	We like you more than a friend.
	I got a lot of stuff to cover here.
	A lot of racial shit this year.
	Proud boys in prison, free speech, cancel culture, critical race theory, ridiculous statues.
	Great letters we've been getting these days about guys getting fired for having the wrong opinions, especially in the police force.
	We want to discuss all that, but not for freeloaders like you.
	This is only going to go behind the paywall.
	I'm so excited about this new voice.
	I think I'm going to record my last will and testament.
	Did you find the footage yet?
	I got the full movie.
	I don't want the full movie.
	You better not be fucking buying it.
	No, no, no.
	Just find the scene with that guy.
	You got his name.
	It didn't tell me his name, actually.
	It was Things I Like.
	Blog.
	Okay.
	So that's stunned.
	Anyway, we're going to find that scene just because Ryan has to learn how to finish a job.
	But all of this is going to go on behind the paywall.
	If you go to censor.tv, you spend a few three nickels.
	No, three dimes and a nickel a day.
	Pocket change, $10 a month.
	And you get more content than you should be watching.
	I'm up to two hours a day these days.
	We've got all new shows coming in.
	Despite the rumors Milo's spreading, we've got three new shows coming up, much more down the line too.
	And once we build a studio, I can start having shows that aren't mine in that studio.
	I'm also going to start doing a bunch of interview shows.
	I've got a bar set I've built and a sit-down set I've built.
	For the bar set, I want to do like regular Joes, Vietnam vets, plumbers, ask them about their trade.
	For the fancy set, we'll talk to celebrities like Ang Coulter, James O'Keefe, ask them what's going on, what makes them tick.
	Very exciting year up ahead, despite what the media tells you.
	But in the interim, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	I'm going to do this.
	I'm going to put in a black guy.
	He's Puerto Rican.
	That's what throws him.
	He's not known as a Puerto Rican from the people who type shit on Twitter.
	They think he's black guy from movie Ghost scene.
	Okay, so we do that.
	Then I click videos and I don't see him.
	He was a stand-up community.
	Oh, here we go.
	Here we go.
	Wait, let me get that on a non-skipping, shitty looking thing.
	That guy was saying, don't fuck around Kebin or you get abused.
	I'm International Kebin.
	Wait, is that how Patrick Swayze died in the movie?
	Oh no, that's...
	Patrick Swayze's already dead here.
	Why are you wearing a shirt?
	When I'm a ghost, I'm going to dress like Henry Rollins.
	And like, ironically, this Costa Rican drug addict.
	Just shorts.
	Because I don't want other ghosts seeing my dick.
	But like bare feet, what are you going to get?
	Blisters?
	Walking on the clouds?
	Man, I look like shit.
	That's a good thing to say to dark-skinned Puerto Ricans.
	Man, you look like that nigga from ghost.
	Yeah, that's a good idea.
	You're dead, Willie.
	That's me talking to my dick after I've done a grammar trophy.
	You're dead, Willie.
	So wait.
	Monsters get you if you're a bad guy.
	I guess you're taking him to hell?
	But if you're in love with a pretty girl, you can stay on Earth and roam around.
	So don't be a jerk.
	Don't be a droop.
	Cool movie for chicks.
	By the way, speaking of movies, John Mulaney left his wife.
	There's so much going on in the romance world.
	We've got Bennefer back together, J-Lo and Ben Affleck, and John Mulaney just randomly dumped his wife.
	You go, what are you doing, dude?
	She seems nice.
	And he goes, Olivia Munn wanted to fuck me.
	And we go, oh, you're a retarded child in a grown-up's body.
	It looks like Duckman.
	If Olivia Munn was dying to fuck me, I would start crying, run to the bathroom, lock the door, and beat off.
	I wouldn't dump my wife.
	Shit.
	Sorry, honey.
	Something slightly better is going on.
	They look very similar.
	Yeah.
	Why even do that?
	His wife, let's see his wife.
	Oh, no, they don't, but they're both the same echelon.
	Right.
	So his wife is like a seven, and then maybe a 6.8.
	And then Olivia Munn is like a 7.8.
	Okay.
	So you throw everything away to gain a point?
	You're not a nice guy.
	And the irony is that's his whole shtick is, I'm a nice guy, you know, loyal?
	Like a loyal person?
	Here, you do John Mulaney better than me.
	I decided to leave my wife, you know, because I want to sleep with another gal.
	I can't.
	It's bad today.
	Wow.
	You know, like.
	He did cocaine, by the way, too.
	He was at rehab for doing cocaine and beer.
	Oh, no.
	He was doing beer?
	Liquor and cocaine.
	How much beer did he do?
	So many beers.
	Oh, no.
	Where did they put all the cans?
	He did cocaine.
	He's a comedian who's popular in Hollywood.
	You can't not do cocaine.
	They shoot it in your nose when you walk down the street.
	We should have known he was a bad boy from this pic.
	He's such a girl.
	Okay.
	I did have a bunch of things to cover.
	Let's just do this one thing.
	So we got a new free speech song.
	Oh, I have something cool to tell.
	Play.
	Do you have the free speech song?
	Yep.
	Free speech.
	Free speech.
	Free speech.
	It ain't free.
	It's a garbage song.
	Ooh.
	Someone sent us a free speech song.
	And it's got lyrics.
	Free speech, dumb fucking losers harassing me because I got the balls to say what I mean.
	Everyone canceled me because I like censored.tv.
	Why are fat chicks even a thing?
	Why are all black women queens?
	You fucking tread on me.
	I'll feed you your teeth.
	Free speech.
	Play this song.
	Here we go.
	What the fuck?
	There we go.
	Clicked.
	Click it up.
	Clicked and waiting.
	Clicked and waiting.
	Clicked and waiting.
	Ryan, when you get emails like this, you put them in a special folder called bumpers.
	Gotcha.
	Here we go.
	Great jam.
	And thank you to Dave who sent that in.
	Actually, I don't know who's who sent that in.
	Don't say his full name.
	I don't see it here.
	Okay.
	That's the forward.
	When People send us cool stuff.
	I think, am I allowed to say your name?
	True.
	So, Danny Glover from Lethal Weapon had said, you know, you're looking at TV, you talk about how much it sucks.
	This is 1.8.
	Well, it's by Christopher.
	Christopher.
	That's it.
	We'll just say Christopher.
	Christopher.
	Christopher, thank you very much for the song.
	It's great.
	We'll be using it in the future for all free speech bumpers.
	But he said that the reason you think TV sucks, and this might be why the reason sites like censored.tv thrive and Joe Rogan is rich and all these other compound media can go touring the world and doing comedy shows in Austin is because woke,
	which is socialism, killed art.
	And so it's sort of like punk rock.
	I mean, the reason the Sex Pistols existed is because we had dinosaur bands like Emerson, Lake, and Palmer, probably bands that Ryan likes.
	And they said, we're fucking, music had become stagnant, predictable, and dry.
	And punk came along and said, we're just going to do it ourselves.
	Thanks.
	Similarly, movies, although I just said there was a good one, but television, mainstream entertainment has become so bad and unadventurous that we just do it ourselves.
	And we say, just pay me like $10 a month.
	I'll do it.
	Oh, are they attacking him?
	He looks good.
	I loved him in Lethal Weapon with Mel Gibson, and now he must be my age, and he looks fucking fantastic.
	Yeah, he's going through a renaissance.
	Don't you think Danny Glover looks good?
	Yeah, I mean, you know, Mel Gibson, he also looks okay, but obviously Danny's hotter.
	Danny's way hotter.
	So what did he say?
	Let's see, Danny's quotes.
	Saw people on here having a discussion.
	Oh, I like the slang, having.
	That's like when Germans learn English, they want to sound cool.
	And they're like, yeah, there's going to be a lot of people dancing over the disco on Friday.
	I hope there's no people fighting.
	Saw people on here having a discussion about how tired they were of reviewing boring stuff.
	We're getting boring stuff and not even experimental mistakes?
	Because people are afraid of getting canceled, man.
	So they feel like they can only experiment with aesthetic.
	Also, because some of them know they're not that good.
	Now, this kid is fucking arrogant.
	Obviously, Donald clever.
	But he's right.
	And I think he is really talented.
	And he can afford to be arrogant.
	Because everything he just said was right.
	And Atlanta, his show, was really fucking good.
	Did you ever watch that show?
	Nope.
	Did you ever do anything?
	I saw the posters for it, but I was like, that shit ain't my scene.
	No, it's your scene, dude.
	I know we're not black people living in Atlanta fucking around, driving around in a car, going to get a burrito, but the cinematography is beautiful.
	The acting is awesome.
	It's risk-taking.
	It's just like a really soothing show.
	This might not be the best example of it.
	It's not woke, despite it looking like that.
	I had a weird dream.
	It kind of reminded me of Charlie Kaufman.
	Is that his name?
	Yeah.
	Like Bing John Malkovich.
	It's that level of quality.
	But black.
	I bet he grew up white.
	Or in a white neighborhood.
	Let's see, just play fair full fight saving.
	Please see A153.
	Like, this is a promo.
	It's not making anyone want to watch it, which I like.
	Life itself is but a series of close calls.
	I highly recommend you dig up the show Atlanta.
	And he's right.
	This is a fun thing going on.
	DIY.
	Do it yourself.
	Which, when I was a kid, DIY was a thing they'd say in Britain, and it meant like you go to Radio Shack or the British equivalent or you build your own shed.
	And it was always, it was a really inspiring, cool thing.
	It was like, DIY tips for building a cement wall around your driveway.
	Oh, I did this DIY and all the local hardware stores were called DIY.
	And it was a cool thing, a fun thing.
	We still, we've always seen it.
	It's never went away.
	It's like Cassandra Fairbanks growing her own vegetables, DIY.
	And then in the punk scene, when hardcore came along, DIY was a commonly used phrase meaning have your own show, promote your own show, get your own bands, rent your own venue.
	And I feel like that's what's going on with media these days.
	The dinosaurs, the Emerson Lake and Palmers are dying.
	And we're starting to do this ourselves.
	And far be it from me to say, but I feel like we're doing a better job.
	Outside of Tucker, what show is better than this?
	Obviously, it's not very professional.
	We have a shitty IKEA shelf behind us, but like, what's got more variety, more sincerity?
	What's more entertaining?
	You know, I listen to a lot of comedy podcasts, and there's not a lot of laughs per minute.
	They seem to put the laughs on the shelf and talk shop and talk serious.
	Well, this is where Danny Glover comes in.
	Because when they do have a good joke, they get in shit for it.
	Like, look at Shane, what's his name?
	Shane Gillis.
	Right.
	They go, how does a Chinatown start?
	This was their joke, by the way.
	I'll repeat it for you.
	How does a Chinatown start?
	It's just like there.
	And then a few people build like a Chinese restaurant.
	And then there's like a whole street of it.
	And people are like, where'd all these chinks come from?
	That's their joke.
	And the guy who said chinks, by the way, in that joke isn't Shane.
	It's a jerk, a juke who doesn't want Chinese people in his community, which helped the joke because in order for Chinatown to be a thing where you go, how'd this happen?
	You have to make it a xenophobic guy to be interesting.
	Or else it's me like, oh, good, there's a Chinatown here.
	That's not funny.
	Right.
	He's emulating a different person.
	The black guy who broke my ribs was talking about Patrice O'Neill.
	He's a very cool black guy.
	And he's like, he's my favorite dude.
	And I talked about some other Patrice stories I know, but I didn't have the balls to say my favorite story, which is Louis C.K. Oh, the history of.
	Yeah.
	Patrice O'Neill, we've said this before.
	Sorry to repeat story.
	Should I just play it?
	It's pretty quick.
	Okay.
	Have we gone over this on the show?
	It's hard to get away with it because we're not them.
	Like the way it's set up.
	It's a perfect storm of people.
	It's great, yeah.
	Some Hungarian.
	My grandfather who's this gets even worse.
	My Hungarian grandfather was Jewish, and he left Hungary because his mother was killing the Jews.
	And he couldn't come to the United States because there was too many Jews going there.
	They weren't letting them.
	They turned boats away.
	So he went to Mexico.
	And he met my Catholic Mexican grandmother, and that's the family, I came.
	A Jew and a Catholic Mexican.
	He was Jewish because he was so in love with her cousin.
	The first two letters of your whole much longer.
	I do know where the term kite came from, by the way.
	A derogatory term for Jewish people.
	I do know where that came from.
	It is when people used to come over in the ships on Ellis Island.
	A lot of people couldn't write English.
	So they used to make their mark, and the Jews' mark was a circle.
	And the circle is called Keikal.
	So that's what they would just shorten it to Keyke.
	Here's another kite once they've seen the circle.
	Abbreviated nigger came from, originally.
	There's some black guy being a nigger.
	Patrice saw it coming before he said any word.
	Let's hear it again.
	They ruined it.
	So he had another kite once they've seen the circle.
	You know where Nigger came from originally?
	There was some black guy who did a nigger.
	So they called him a nigger.
	Like that evil, horrible word.
	Yeah.
	They go, it's never acceptable.
	You can never use it in a jargon.
	You're like, well, I understand it's rare.
	But in that case, we just heard, it was a perfect storm.
	It was.
	There was a story recently.
	You know, Ture?
	That's like a souffle that just happened.
	Touré, he literally has a PhD in Prince.
	He was big for a while on Amazon.
	Maj Touré?
	Nope, Maj Touré is our friend.
	Just Touré.
	He's a one-word guy like Prince, which is his area of expertise.
	But you can just tell he's a cunt to work with because now he's got nothing going on.
	It's like, hey, here's my Patreon.
	Send me money.
	I would die for you.
	So some old dude called an old black guy a nigger recently, and the black guy punched him out so hard that he died.
	And Ture was all over Twitter saying, good, you fuck around, you find out.
	You could tell he grew up with his white mom.
	You could tell he died in the movie Ghost.
	What the fuck?
	It's the same guy.
	He looks like he played the black guy from the movie Ghost in a movie.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	The Making of Ghost.
	The Making of Ghost.
	Featuring the behind the scenes.
	No, it's a biopic of Patrick Swayze.
	No, the guy who did The Room did a movie about the ghost and chose him to play.
	But yeah, Ture was all about how you should be looking up Twitter Touré N-word.
	And he was all about how, no, no, no, it is justified to kill someone who says that word.
	You go, I know it's a bad word, but so is cunt.
	And he goes, no, you calling me that word, which no one has called him.
	Oh, yeah?
	When I was a kid, I got called it every day.
	No, we're not, you're not allowed to use when I was a kid as an example anymore.
	I was called all kinds of shit when I was, I was British when I was a kid.
	They beat it out of me in an afternoon.
	My dad was beaten up as a kid because he had a school uniform.
	Like, kids, fuck with whatever you are.
	It's not a thing.
	So you're not allowed to use sticks and stones from the fucking schoolyard as proof that you've grown up in racism.
	But the old man did.
	The brother knocked him out.
	I'm a brother.
	The old man fell, lost consciousness, and died.
	He fucked around and found out.
	Can you imagine if the races were reversed and every black guy who said something racist towards whites was instantly killed?
	I mean, Jesus Christ, the bodies would be piled to the sky.
	If there was actual justice in this country, what are you talking about?
	As opposed to white justice, oh, Jesus Christ.
	I guess Max and John aren't in prison.
	Then if you went to someone's minimum wage job and called them the M-word twice, whatever happened after that would be legally acceptable.
	You know, I'm for it.
	You get one time per person.
	I'm kind of down with that.
	What do you mean?
	You can say it once.
	You got one for every person that you make up.
	I wouldn't even call black people.
	I call you one.
	I will say, if you go up to black people and say that word, you shouldn't be surprised that you got punched in the face.
	Yeah.
	However, you definitely don't need to die for saying a bad word.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Wait, hold on a second.
	Like, it's not justified that he died, but.
	I would die for and then change the letter U. I would die for you.
	Down in if you want me to, you.
	God, that is a jam.
	All right, let's start taking some calls.
	You saw this, though, right?
	That was self-defense.
	Oh, yeah, that's...
	Sorry, I left out the best part.
	Using that word as a violent act to fight back and kill someone for calling you that is self-defense.
	You're a retard.
	You're not offensive.
	You're not weird.
	You're a fucking tard.
	Crazy.
	Anyway, I used to do drawings during these calls.
	I did a clan Tifa drawing where I merged the Antifa and the Klan.
	Apparently the guy who ordered it...
	Oh, shit!
	Didn't get it.
	Wait, that's a whole other thing.
	Speaking of art, we had a competition on the website to do a new Larry Barnes poster.
	I don't like this Larry Barnes poster.
	I can tell it's fake.
	It was done by a buddy of his who sucks at Photoshop, at least in this instance.
	So we had a competition.
	We have a winner.
	Oh, yeah.
	I emailed it to you.
	This guy recreated the poster.
	Wow.
	And he did a fucking beautiful job.
	That's amazing.
	I don't know if we should say his name.
	I'm going to go with David.
	I won't say his last name.
	But it's a classic 1950s Muhammad Ali style poster.
	You saw this with Muhammad Ali and fuck, I forget the opponent where this poster is based on.
	Thriller in Manila?
	I don't think it was Thrilla in Manila, no.
	Joe List?
	I mean, Joe List.
	Oh, hey, I'm fighting.
	Oh, geez.
	But it's one of the early Muhammad Ali posters, and it's fucking beautiful.
	I don't know where he got such a good picture of Larry Barnes, that they're really hard to find.
	Because the 80s were not good with photography.
	Not like they are now.
	You can look up any asshole blogger who called you a white supremacist, and there's like 700 high-res pictures of him.
	Clay Terrell.
	Cassius Clay versus Terrell.
	This is when he was still Cassius Clay.
	Oh, there it is.
	How'd you find that so fast?
	I just looked up.
	You finally did your job.
	Yes.
	Maybe it's actually too good.
	And people are going to go, well, that clearly wasn't the poster.
	That's the Cassius Clay poster.
	That's okay.
	Or whatever.
	It'll look good.
	So thank you to that winner.
	And then we are awarding that winner a year's subscription.
	That's $100 prize.
	But he already has a subscription.
	Yes, he can give that to his friend, his mommy, whatever.
	Apply until next year, maybe?
	I don't know.
	So anyway, we've been avoiding the auctions because they destroy our payment processor.
	And when we have charities for Zanoa Kinsman, an African-American woman, the wife of John Kinsman, who was thrown in prison for fighting Antifa, when we raise money for her, they shut it down.
	They shut down my Cameo.
	They shut down PayPal.
	They shut down a GoFundMe.
	Every time we try to raise money for these black children, it gets shut down by the left.
	You can do the math on that.
	I'm not really clear what the fuck is going on.
	So anyway, everyone gets their drawings.
	I'm going to recreate the Clantifa drawing I did from memory.
	It probably won't be the same, but whatever.
	I'm sure he'll be happy with it.
	And then once we can figure out a more solid payment system, probably through some Christian thing, I'm not sure if we can even put it on the site.
	It's so hard to raise money for black children in clown world.
	Then we'll get it up again.
	So that's why we haven't...
	I have a fucking stack of drawings that I've done, a stack of drawings that John's done.
	And people go, well, just sell them on the site.
	I can't.
	It gets our payment processors shut down.
	We need like three levels of security to dare do such charity.
	Anyway, I'm going to get up and get my drawing supplies.
	And Ryan's going to start taking calls.
	Here we go.
	We have...
	Call me.
	I have a cabin.
	You're on the line.
	513.
	And the Skype's doing a thing.
	Which can help.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Yeah, so I said I had AIDS, but I don't.
	I'm working on it.
	Unfortunately, I have to get up at 6 in the morning.
	I'm probably going to have AIDS in the morning.
	I've been drinking a little too much tonight.
	Oh, AIDS.
	So I invested in this log splitter.
	Gavin, when's the last time you had to go buy some firewood?
	Oh, all the time.
	I have a fireplace in my house.
	Well, I have it ordered.
	They just deliver it.
	And it's $7 a bundle.
	I've been to New York and everything's pretty much double there.
	So I live in Cincinnati.
	It's literally like a dollar log.
	So this dude at work was selling this log splitter for $800 and I bought it.
	And I actually got to use it for the first time today.
	And I literally split, I would say, 80 logs in 10 minutes.
	Really?
	Yeah, dude.
	So if you do the math, that's what?
	What's 80?
	It's 80 bucks every 10 minutes.
	8 times 6.
	It's $560 an hour.
	Divide that in half.
	So obviously you're not going to sell it the same price a gas station does.
	I'll sell it half.
	That's fucking $250 an hour you can make with this thing.
	My shit is about $350.
	And I think it's a cord.
	I'm not sure whatever a cord is, but when I look at it, I could say that it's about a dollar a not a log, like a piece of log, right?
	So it's a fucking ripoff.
	And that's before this lumber shortage we're in now.
	Did you know a deck that was $900 last year?
	Last year is $3,000?
	It's gone up 400%.
	Yeah, I'm stoked on it.
	I think it was a good investment.
	Hopefully it doesn't break down.
	Is it gas-powered?
	We'll see.
	Yeah, dude.
	It's a 35-ton.
	I was splitting like cutting right through not, like this wood I was splitting tonight was wet, green, fresh, and it was just splitting right through it.
	And how much was it again?
	If you would have used an axe, it would have taken you probably five hours and like a 12-pack of beer.
	How much was it again?
	800 bucks used.
	Nice.
	The only problem with your plan is I find it takes, they always say it takes a year to dry firewood.
	I feel like it, even then, it's hissing and pissing.
	I feel like it takes two years of storage before you can use it.
	Yeah.
	Well, I've had the same job for fucking almost 14 years, and I've always had little side gigs like keeping bees, cutting neighbors' grass, and now I'm going to try this.
	But really, why I called.
	So I live in Cincinnati, Ohio.
	Sorry, you don't get two things.
	We got to go.
	Thank you for calling.
	There's one thing per caller.
	One team.
	I don't know why.
	Isaac.
	What's up, Isaac?
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Hey.
	So, Gavin, a few times before, I heard you say that tips should be a certain amount of pencils, like two, three, ten pencils.
	What the fuck does that mean?
	Okay, I'll show you.
	So, say this tit is sagging.
	This tit is sagging, right?
	This is zero pencils.
	Nothing is holding this up.
	If I had a bit of a sag here, right?
	Then I could hold one pencil, right?
	I am cool with a tit that can have four pencils and they can be stored there without falling.
	Thanks for calling.
	Next call.
	You know what's funny?
	The ink ate through the rubber on my band-aid, on my rubber band here.
	Damn.
	I didn't know ink was so corrosive.
	Chemistry.
	Arnold, you're on the line.
	Hello, how are you?
	Hello, good.
	It's good to be with you.
	How are you?
	Can you hear me?
	Wait, is this a guy doing an Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation or is this actually Arnold Schwarzenegger?
	Come on, look.
	I love the show.
	Listen, every time I see Ryan fiddle with his hair, it reminds me of the maid, and I get all hot and horny.
	I bet you're a little bit of a team poophole is as tight as Brian's Delta Weiss Pussy.
	Do you know any other celebs that watch the show?
	Do you have celeb friends?
	If I told you, they would kill me.
	I can't tell you the names.
	We all watch the show.
	We love you.
	Holy shit.
	That's amazing.
	We're tired of all this bullshit in Hollywood.
	That's a 180 turn from your whole proud boys are like the Kristallnacht.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	I have a beef, a bone to pick with you.
	You said that we are the Nazis, the new Kristallnacht.
	Listen, come on.
	Look, I've got to play the game like everyone else.
	Oh, is that a role?
	Oh, you were.
	That was a role.
	Well, we're making this public, Arnold.
	Yes.
	We're going to expose you, but thanks for calling.
	That's cool.
	Arnold Schwarzenegger watches the show.
	You know who else watches?
	Who?
	Tommy Lee Jones.
	Slick.
	It's called Get Off My Lawn, Slick.
	Oh, shit.
	The show was called G-O-M-L Slick.
	That was terrible.
	Kim.
	Donald Glover.
	Hey, it's Kim.
	Hey.
	Hey.
	No, it's Cam, but whatever.
	So Donald Glover, I think he's so anti-cancel culture because he used to do an internet sketch show back in the day.
	And he wrote a skit where he's a spelling bee, and everyone has to spell the word nigger faggot.
	It's on YouTube.
	Oh, Derek Common Everybody.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, so I think it's quite a scrolled, dig that up.
	I'm sure they're going to go after him because it's fucking hilarious.
	But yeah, two of the funniest words combined.
	Nigger faggot.
	It's fantastic.
	Okay, thanks for calling.
	Yeah, they both have a nice ring to them, don't they?
	It's the consonants, it's the hardness of it.
	Yeah, it's like it's funny with these words like fuck and cunt.
	They're meant to hurt you.
	Because nigger and faggot are meant to mock you and denigrate you.
	Right.
	I don't know why.
	Gu-gu-gu-gu-gu-guh.
	There's something gu-gu-guh that's like, you're a fucking loser, you're nothing.
	And then there's something about fuck and cunt that's like, I want to stab you.
	Explosives.
	So like suck also has the same thing.
	Even though it's not a bad word, I wasn't allowed to say that.
	You weren't allowed to say suck when you were a kid?
	When I was a little kid?
	No.
	This sucks?
	They'd be like, your non-existent dad or your non-existent dad?
	No, he wouldn't know what that meant.
	He'd be like, what is this?
	I'd be like, it means cool.
	He'd be like, oh, this food sucks.
	Thank you.
	And I would have tricked him.
	Also, stink.
	It's very pleasant when people are like, that stinks.
	And it sounds very hard.
	It doesn't sound bad, though.
	In fact, my wife's Indian side of the family, they use stinky as cute.
	They're like, when they see my youngest boy, they'll be like, oh, he's so stinky.
	I haven't heard that one.
	It's an Indian thing.
	The Y completely takes away the punch from that, though.
	Stinky.
	That's fun.
	L-O-G-O-R-R.
	Like Niggy.
	That's not bad.
	Sounds like Mickey.
	H-E-A.
	La Garia.
	That is correct.
	And that will end the fourth round of the Hambridge National Spelling Bay.
	Before we go on, I would just like to say that all of our contestants have shown an amazing amount of drive and perseverance.
	And no matter what happens, you're all winners.
	And now on to the fifth round.
	Next contestant.
	Your word is nigger baggage.
	Negative.
	Okay, that's enough of that.
	We get it.
	We gotcha.
	Yeah, he's sweating.
	He's wetting.
	Lewis is not the wittiest comedy in the world.
	Hey.
	Hey, man.
	Am I coming in clear, guys?
	Oh, you sure are, Sir Earl.
	Sir Earl?
	Cool.
	Hey, Gav and Ryan and Censored Family.
	I gotta say, I just wanted to mention Jim Goad's new show, Hardballs.
	I think it's real good.
	It's real exceptional.
	Yeah.
	I mean, he just assumed that he needed JB to do all the technical stuff, and then he Googled it.
	Yeah.
	And he learned it in like an afternoon.
	Yeah, I know.
	It's kind of nicer just with him by himself, because it's almost like he's kind of psychoanalyzing himself.
	It's really, really great.
	I love it.
	I mean, the Beef Squad was really, really cool, too, but I think this is kind of step up, and that's not like disparaging JD or anything.
	It's just this is really nice.
	As a matter of fact, what I was calling in for is like, I'm kind of hoping he would be on more than once a week because I look forward to Sundays now, kind of like I do for your show, and to see him, you know, show up.
	And man, it'd be super cool if he even did a live section.
	You know, he had the means to do that.
	Maybe you guys could conf up a budget for him because that'd be really cool.
	Are you just doing this on your own accord, or is it possible that Jim has suggested that someone suggest this?
	Hold on.
	What?
	What was that?
	Is this 100% your idea, or is it possible that Jim has suggested that people like you suggest such a thing?
	Oh, no, no, no, no.
	I don't think so.
	I've seen it since his inception.
	I don't think he's mentioned it.
	He does those boomer chats, and he charges for those.
	And broke bastards like myself don't really have the opportunity to cough up 15 or 10 bucks every once in a while to ask a question.
	And it'd be really rad to hear his thoughts live.
	I know he's a little more temperamental than maybe you.
	But he's really rad.
	I love the show.
	Maybe he needs a sidekick like, you know, maybe not like Ryan, but maybe something a little more professional.
	No one needs a sidekick like Ryan.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	We'll think about it.
	We'll consider it.
	Bye.
	We got some money freed up now that Milo's gone.
	And now that you're gone, Tom.
	Hello?
	Hey, sisters.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	So I love the new show.
	What new show?
	The new Gavin Wack show?
	Oh, good.
	I like it.
	Yeah, I mean, everything takes some getting used to.
	And if one thing I've learned from Vice Days is that people hate change.
	And when we went from like newsprint black and white to color black and white, people go, oh, fuck, this sucks, man.
	You're sellouts.
	We like the old school black and white shit.
	And so what you have to do with most critics is just sort of let them wait it out, let them get used to it.
	And similarly, when you take something away, they freak the fuck out and can't handle it.
	But I'm glad this didn't take much time for you to get into.
	I think they're a really interesting pair.
	I agree.
	I think Isabella, she's a little, she's a smoke show, but I think she was kind of in over her head saying that if someone called her an 8.7, that she would be offended.
	I think that's a little bit ridiculous.
	Well, she knows her worth.
	What do you think she is at a 10?
	It's tough to tell.
	This isn't really why I was calling, but I'd probably give her maybe around an 8.5.
	Okay.
	Who's a 10 that's famous that we would know?
	That's a good question.
	I'm not too positive on that answer.
	Who's the most attractive woman you can think of right now besides Eva Mendez and Sophia Loren and Raquel Welch on The Muppet Show in 1977?
	There's...
	I might get crucified for saying this, but I think Anna Kendrick, the actress, she's not bad.
	I think she's super annoying, but...
	Wow.
	That sounds like a crush to the very girl next door kind of gal.
	Like, people don't beat off about her.
	They want to marry her.
	That's right.
	Yeah, you have a crush, sir.
	That's a crush.
	You have a crush.
	You have feelings for this woman.
	Okay, next topic, please.
	There is none.
	Can I get to why I was calling, though?
	Oh.
	Yeah, sure.
	Okay, thank you.
	Okay, so I'm going back to school, college.
	My third year.
	I'm getting my apartment for the first time.
	And I'm horrible at eating.
	My diet sucks.
	And I know you were talking about the beer diet that you had a while ago.
	Yeah.
	So I kind of want you to talk about that because I don't know if that'd be a good option for me.
	Because I'm good at working out, but I just eat like shit, you know?
	Well, if you're trying to, I don't know why someone your age should be worried about their weight.
	It's pretty irrelevant.
	As long as you're working out, you shouldn't be worried about gaining weight.
	When you get to 50, you have to worry about it.
	But I would go the beer Ramadan, it's called.
	And what you do is you don't eat.
	You don't have breakfast.
	You have like coffee in the morning.
	I'm not a morning guy.
	I don't know about you, but I'm not hungry in the morning anyway.
	And then you don't eat.
	So around like noon, everyone's having breakfast sandwiches.
	Did we lose them?
	No.
	Around noon, everyone's having breakfast sandwiches and stuff.
	You say no, thank you.
	Around 2 or 3, 3.30, though, you're fucking starving.
	And you want to save yourself for dinner.
	Especially me as a family man.
	I want to have dinner with my wife and kids.
	If I eat at 3, I'm not going to be hungry at 6 o'clock for dinner.
	So to stave off the hunger, you have a beer.
	Maybe two.
	And those empty calories tide you over till 6.
	So you end up, like Jamaican men, eating one meal a day.
	And you just fucking slim down, my guy.
	All right, thanks for calling.
	That's a tip.
	We gave that guy two, which violated the rules.
	The rules.
	We've got juices on the lawn.
	So I'm done this recreation of a drawing that a guy from the auctions didn't get.
	I don't know if you'll like it as much, but I think it's pretty good.
	You gotta be proud of you, boys.
	I finally got into the chat, and now I'm realizing it makes that sound, so I'm gonna go ahead and mute that.
	Sir, you are on the line.
	I guess I should draw the hand.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	What's up?
	Am I there?
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	Oh, okay.
	You never, I didn't hear my name, so sorry.
	Sorry, man.
	Hey, guys.
	It's Joseph.
	Sorry for making you cry about your grandma the other time.
	Gavin was not my intention.
	But you know, I was right.
	Anyway, I was inspired by your Things I Don't Get clip.
	Very, very well done for once, especially the fucking Portnoy pizza things where he just eats at pizza restaurants.
	I had the same.
	Wait, you say that was good for once?
	My segments are not usually very good?
	No, yeah.
	They're like 30%.
	I laugh out loud.
	You're negging him.
	To be fair.
	So because you've touched him, you think you could neg him.
	No, 30% is good.
	They're hard to come up with.
	Anyway.
	This is the recipe of from listener to bro.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	Nagboy.
	Nagboy.
	Who's next?
	I've seen that before so many times.
	It's like, you know, I got so many DMs and the DMs that say like, hey, fag, you're pretty good on the show, but I'm cooler at this.
	Yeah, yeah.
	It's like, it's because my personality.
	Howard Stern gets this too.
	Because I'm so like, this sucks, and you're a fag and everything gay.
	Then people who want to be my friend, they don't go, hi, dude, how's it going?
	They're like, hey, man, you suck and you're fag.
	But anyway, to be like, I'm going to go like, hey, this guy speaks my language.
	I'm not one of the listeners.
	I'm like, I'm my own thing.
	I'm a dick who shits on everything, too.
	You'd be watching my show.
	I'm going to start by shitting on you.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Bye.
	But nothing tends to work anyway.
	I mean, the DMs are, I can't get to them.
	But Nick, you're on the lawn.
	Yeah.
	Hey, Gav.
	So we're finally getting to the point, my wife and I, where we are running into social situations where if we don't have the vaccine, we aren't invited.
	And so what I've noticed is that the people that are saying, hey, you can't come to this party or this get-together, what have you, are the type of people that were rapidly anti-Trump.
	And it really struck me as ironic.
	And I think it was either Jacob Wool or Joshua Cash who said the same thing where it's like, yeah, these people are all behind like big pharma now and the vaccine, despite the fact that it was Trump that developed it.
	So I was wondering what your thoughts are on that.
	Like why this complete and sudden change and flip here?
	So do you really want to go to these parties?
	Like where do you live?
	Would you be socially starved without them?
	No, no, not at all, actually.
	The guy that was going to throw this event, it was for his new house that he bought, and he'd done a ton of renovations, and he wanted to get a bunch of buddies together and drink and stuff.
	And, you know, I've been friends with the guy for years, you know, like got along with him great.
	And, you know, he was a pretty cool guy.
	But yeah, it just absolutely terrified him and his other friends of getting COVID.
	And it's like, man, like my wife and I, we got it.
	Like last week we got it.
	You know, and yeah, there's like three days of hell, but you know, now it's boiled down to a cough.
	And it's like, man, this is not anything to be this terrified over.
	Yeah, you're all just absolutely petrified, you know, that people don't have the vaccine to the point where we just shut them out.
	Like, what's going on?
	And what town are you in?
	We're in the Twin Cities, actually.
	Minneapolis, St. Paul.
	Shit.
	Antifa Central.
	I would say just like, if you want to go to the party, lie.
	And if you don't want to go to the party, then say we didn't get vaccined.
	And you're not, you know, that's why I say get fired, get in trouble.
	You're not losing anything.
	Those people are fucking lame.
	And to answer your question on why it became political, I think that there's two types of people in the world.
	There's people who want to be left alone, and that's usually us, right?
	Libertarian, paleo-con, whatever.
	And then there's people who won't leave them the fuck alone.
	They tend to be communist, socialist, that kind of thing.
	And COVID, it illuminates the latter.
	It encourages the latter.
	So these people who love rules, who love socialism, who love control, they're really adapting to it.
	And Trump's message ultimately was, you can't control me.
	You can't make me feel bad for my history.
	You're not the boss of me.
	Don't tread on me.
	And that's why these liberals hate him so much.
	It wasn't the pussy joke.
	It wasn't any of his policies.
	It was that he said, don't tell people what to do.
	They don't suck.
	They shouldn't be ashamed.
	White people don't suck.
	America doesn't suck.
	And that's become a political thing.
	And COVID blends nicely into that because COVID says you suck.
	COVID says you're not doing enough.
	You're not good enough.
	You know, hate has no home here.
	Maskless, vaccineless people have no home here.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	That just about covers it.
	We don't need to say nice goodbyes.
	We got Gabrielle.
	Wanted to suggest music.
	I bet it's going to suck.
	Okay.
	The odds are against you, ma'am.
	973.
	I hope our new studio doesn't get this hot.
	Is it the lights?
	They're LED.
	They shouldn't be that hot.
	According to science.
	You know what I noticed when I was there the other day doing minor repairs?
	I could hear sirens and stuff drive by outside.
	Oh, that's good.
	I don't really care about that, right?
	You care about like...
	Or if it's too quiet.
	It's quiet for him.
	It's quiet.
	What are you doing right now?
	Freeing up space in the other card.
	We have 13 minutes on it, so.
	Okay.
	Just being super careful.
	Alright.
	Last chance.
	973.
	Okay.
	Heyman, I wish to check with the shitty song.
	Yes.
	I put her on mute just in case we try her later.
	Hey, Heyman, sent you an email.
	First Marine.
	952.
	What's going on?
	We got audio going out here.
	Let's see.
	Something tells me it's not their fault.
	Checking one, two.
	Hello, people.
	Yeah, this doesn't sound like it.
	Hello, anyone but Ryan.
	That's a problem.
	Danny?
	Hello?
	Alright.
	Oh, you know what?
	I'll restart what, the whole thing?
	Skype section.
	Speaking of stolen valor, this dude at our bar, Joe, he's a compulsive liar, which is fine, really.
	Once you realize that and you can make fun of him and you go, yeah, yeah, I don't believe you, dude.
	I don't even think you have a daughter.
	You say she's on a ventilator.
	I don't think you have a kid.
	And then you make fun of the guy.
	And then it's amusing.
	But that hits a wall when, as I told you before, when they say my daughter tried to commit suicide, because it's every dad's worth nightmare.
	That's when I got into an argument with them.
	And then in the same category, I'm not sure it's worse per se, but stolen valor.
	I mean, we joke about stolen valor on the show and pretend that we're stealing valor.
	But when it literally happens, people put their lives on the line to make sure America was safe.
	And sometimes the boss was wrong.
	That's the thing people don't seem to get about the military.
	Not 100% of the time were the assignments good for Americans.
	But that's the risk you take when you sign up for the military.
	You know it's not Jason Bourne.
	You know it's not perfect every time.
	Actually, Jason Bourne was another example where it wasn't perfect every time.
	So you know it's not like, I'm going to go to the Middle East.
	I'm going to shoot a jihadi in the head.
	And that jihadi would have killed my family.
	It would have killed American families.
	Boom.
	I'm sure that happens a lot.
	But there's bullshit like Vietnam, where you just have to go to help defend Charles de Gaulle's territories.
	But the implication, the general plan there is I'm standing up for this country.
	I hope they don't make mistakes and send me to stupid wars, but that's not up to me.
	I'm going to take that chance and say I'm fighting for America.
	So that's a long way of explaining why Stolen Valor is different than saying I used to hang out with the Sex Pistols.
	And he's getting in some trouble now.
	Oh, yeah?
	Yeah.
	Uh-oh.
	Because people are starting to find.
	That's the thing about these compulsive liars.
	They're very nomadic.
	You'll notice you don't know him and he doesn't know anyone in town and stuff, those kind of guys.
	And they don't have friends come by either.
	That's another thing about compulsive liars.
	They're grifters and they don't really get money out of it.
	So he had a scene recently where someone came in and said, I'm going to fucking knock your teeth out if you keep up with this shit.
	Damn.
	Which was great as a bar patron because you're like, ooh, this is spicy.
	Sit back, sip.
	Gossip going on.
	Yeah.
	We got callers back.
	Gabrielle.
	Okay.
	Hey, Gabriel.
	What's Gabrielle got to say?
	973.
	Hey, Gavin, how's it going?
	Good.
	How are you?
	Sorry about your name.
	That's all right.
	Yeah, I'm good.
	Thanks.
	Yeah, I'm calling just to recommend a musician that I think you'd really like.
	I think this guy's got the sprinkles, like the kind of magic touch.
	So his name is Baxter Dury.
	Have you heard of him?
	No, I don't think so.
	Dury?
	D-U-R-Y?
	Yeah, Baxter.
	D-U-R-Y is kind of spelled like Dury, but with a D. So he released this album.
	You can start with the song Cocaine Man.
	I think that's like a good starting place, but he released an album last year called The Night Chancers, and I think is probably like the best album of the year last year.
	If you know the musician Ian Dury, it's actually his son.
	Oh, you mean the guy who wrote sex and drugs and rocket balls?
	Ian Durry was a funny little dwarf.
	I'm not too familiar with the Ian Durance music, so I can't say how similar they are, but Baxter Dury's super fresh.
	I think he's got that kind of English dubby sound.
	Thanks for coming.
	We'll check it out.
	I'm enjoying making these calls short and sweet.
	Sacks, hand, drops, hand, rock, and roll.
	That's why the first vice book was called The Vice Guide to Sacks Hand, Drugs, Ham, Rock, and Roll.
	And that's why we spelled it all out instead of rock and roll.
	Was because of Ian Drury.
	Anyway, let's hear his son.
	Cocaine Man.
	You mean Every man who's cool?
	14th of June 1912.
	I woke up feeling frightened.
	Work out of bed for mama.
	Dummy proud.
	Looked over the kitchen cent.
	Thought, wow, that's my ass.
	I paid the mortgage.
	This moment got up, cup of coffee, went down nice tonight.
	Made me feel a bit moot kid.
	All right, I get it.
	Cool.
	Reminds me of Sleaford Mods and all the other stuff.
	I got a letter today I wanted to read.
	Hey, Gavin Rygai, been a while.
	Sorry if this is verbose, but I think it's relevant to today's political climate and how cops fit in.
	I've spent this last seven months in the recruitment process for a police agency where I'm at West U.S. State Troopers, he puts in brackets.
	I got through the entire process with no issues at all, which is 10 steps and can take anywhere from six months to even a year plus to finish.
	I completed this all in April and was told I'd be a month before I heard back about where I'd be stationed and when post would start.
	I just got back word yesterday that I was DQ'd.
	I guess that means decommissioned or something.
	Disqualified?
	Disqualified.
	For no reason, and the agency wouldn't ever be answering questions as to what the cause was.
	I have a theory.
	While in the polygraph session, and guys, the polygraph, look up my article with the, what's his name?
	Doug Williams called Insidious Orwellian Machines, where I talked to my friend Doug who did two years in prison for proving that these machines are fucking fake.
	Now, his charge was showing people how to beat it.
	If it worked, you couldn't beat it.
	You can't go to prison for teaching people how a fuzzbus, whatever, the thing that tests your speed on the road.
	You can't get in trouble for that because you can't beat that.
	He did.
	He said, it's all bullshit.
	Just be honest or say whatever you want to say.
	That shit means nothing.
	Anyway, so when you're on a polygraph, just say whatever you want to say.
	They try to intimidate you after, and you've got a nozzle there.
	You've got an anal pad checking if you clench your butt cheeks, but it's not really checking that.
	It doesn't check anything.
	And then you're supposed to go, all right, fuck, I did it.
	It's all fake.
	It's a, I believe, a $3 billion industry that's completely fake.
	Anyway, sorry.
	Things are going great until a blip about right-leaning podcasts I watch that I'd mentioned in the pre-screen came up.
	It turned into an hour of me having to explain who you are, me, what Proud Boys are, January 6th, how Proud Boys Aren't Crazy, Woodsy, Militia, etc.
	What was blocked for three hours turned into five hours?
	The tone really shifted with everything and everyone after that.
	Everything else I was asked, I passed with flying colors.
	Drugs, driving sex, boy, and major crimes.
	I'm almost certain that's the flag.
	Nothing else makes sense, though I can't know for sure.
	Now, this is an interesting concept because it goes back to the whole get-fired concept, right?
	If you want to win that test, if you want to pass that test with flying colors, you say, I know, I consider myself moderate.
	I'm not really political.
	I'm all over the map with every different subject, but I do check out right-wing podcasts just to see what they're talking about.
	What about Proud Boys?
	I mean, I don't know.
	I've heard that they're right-wing.
	I heard their main guy was a black guy.
	But it's an interesting concept.
	It's something I, as a police officer, should know about.
	What about Gavin McInnes?
	He seems very unusual.
	Funny guy, but who knows?
	I mean, he could be a danger to society.
	That's how you pass the test.
	But if you don't believe that, then should you get fired?
	And by get fired, mean not even get the job.
	Because if you were to bullshit, just like the Ben Shapiro thing where he says, bullshit in college and pretend you're left wing and then get A's and then get rich and say, haha, just kidding.
	We don't support that.
	That's absurd.
	And in this case, you could bullshit your way into the police force, but then you'd be in this bullshit police force where you're not allowed to be remotely right-wing.
	You're going to get fired later.
	Like, people always ask me, isn't it terrible that you left Vice in 08 and then they're billionaires and all that?
	And I'm like, if I hadn't left in 08, I'd be gone in 09.
	I'd be gone in 09.5.
	I'd be gone in 2010.
	It's not like I'd be totally grooving with them.
	Have you seen all the other places I've been fired from, all the other controversies?
	So I don't know if you would thrive as a cop if you were this.
	And I'm not even going to say red-pilled, but like normal-pilled.
	So maybe this is for the best.
	Anyway, he says, I remembered what you said recently on a show about how if you're a new rookie or even in the academy still to get out now while you can.
	I have a one-year-old boy, and though this stings, I wonder if I avoided a shitstorm, and my boy will have his daddy around more because of this.
	Love the show, guys.
	Yeah, I think it was a, as Mark Ryan would say, it's a blessing in disguise, yo.
	You could have been killed.
	That's the other thing about the new cops.
	You can't defend yourself.
	They're talking about switching the taser to the other side.
	You're on camera at all time.
	Blacks get shot less than they appear in crime stats.
	Whites get shot more than they appear in crime stats because cops are so scared of losing their pension and becoming the next Derek Chauvin.
	So that's not safe for you, dude.
	It pains me to say as a pro cop, dude.
	But I think it was the best possible thing to happen to you.
	It's not a joke.
	Alright, next.
	We've got.
	952.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Hey, you guys there?
	No, we're not here.
	We left.
	Hey.
	Gone for the day.
	Yeah.
	What do you want to know about that?
	Are you in the military?
	I was.
	And why did you leave?
	Well, I was the first Marine, well, to my knowledge, I was the first Marine in Marine Corps history to be non-judicially punished for posting a Facebook comment about women in the infantry.
	Is this public knowledge?
	Can we, like, look this up, or do you want to remain anonymous?
	Nope.
	I can give you everything that you want to fucking know.
	All right.
	What's your name?
	My first name is Blake.
	My last name is Taylor.
	And I sent Ryan an article on the mailbag.
	Okay.
	So what happened?
	You posted an article saying they don't really belong there, and then you got in big shit?
	Nope, I posted a comment on a Facebook group called Marines United.
	And I commented about a female Marine that was in my current battalion while I was serving, how our command had failed the Marines around us, and we were serving her fucking interests.
	She didn't want to go to PT.
	She didn't want to fucking contribute to the company.
	She was just there as an affirmative action hire, so to speak.
	Right?
	Wait, what's PT?
	I posted that physical training.
	So she would stay in her room and pretend that she was sick.
	I'm like, oh, I don't want to wake up at 5 a.m. because I'm fucking sick.
	I don't feel well.
	I don't want to go run for 15 fucking miles and stocking Kevwire like the rest of the grunts.
	I just want to be here because I have a pussy.
	It's like, well, you don't really belong because you're just a female and you didn't cut it and you were an affirmative action hire.
	That all sounds...
	So I posted a comment.
	Sorry, go ahead.
	Yeah, that all sounds perfectly logical and true.
	Was she black or white?
	She was white, to my knowledge.
	Okay.
	And how'd they catch you?
	You used your name?
	Well, I was actually routed out within my company because I posted, you know, I made a comment from that Facebook post that was supposed to be anonymous, by the way.
	So how'd you get caught?
	And it got back to my chain of command.
	Well, it cut back to my chain of command because there were staff NCOs and NCIS and all these other motherfuckers just looking at posts from Marines because this initiative came out from the Marine Corps saying, hey, we got to monitor posts from Marines because of a sexual scandal that was taking place online,
	which is complete fucking bullshit.
	There was a group of Marines that were sending mood pics of things that they received on Snapchat, you know, from female Marines, like, you know, sexing and stuff like that.
	And they all blew up on Google and all that shit.
	But after I posted that comment, the next fucking day, I was on libo, right?
	And I was at home with my ex-wife.
	I made this text at like 5 a.m.
	And I'm not even in our close company, by the way.
	I was detached.
	I was getting out in like six months.
	And I got a text from my former squad leader saying, hey, show up at base tomorrow in uniform.
	And I was like, for fucking what, dude?
	I have shit to do tomorrow.
	I'm on libo.
	It doesn't fucking matter.
	Like, why do I have to show up?
	He goes, just, just be here.
	Trust me.
	Like, you're fucking, the sergeant major wants you to fucking be here.
	All that shit.
	So I show up and I get pulled into his office and he's like, what is this fucking Facebook post that you made?
	And I went, I'm just telling the fucking truth.
	I don't know what you want me to say.
	I'm just commenting on what the fuck's happening in the company.
	There's a female here that's an affirmative fucking action hire.
	And she's weakening the entire fucking company.
	And that's exactly what I said in the fucking post.
	He goes, okay, bitch, stand by.
	I'm like, okay, this is the...
	He didn't literally say that.
	Company commander.
	Hold on, hold on.
	He didn't literally say, okay, bitch, stand by.
	No, he said that.
	He said, okay, bitch, stand by.
	Right.
	So that's a cue for me to leave his office and go outside and stand at Great Rest.
	Okay, so when he said that, that was his way of saying, I don't agree with anything you just said.
	You're fucked now.
	I'm on the side of the top brass.
	Correct.
	Correct.
	Exactly.
	Not even like a...
	This is someone, by the way, you're supposed to die for.
	Like, he's going to give you a command.
	You have to go do it.
	If it's walking over, you know, climbing over a hill and getting shot at.
	So you'd think, in a way, he's your father and you're his kid in a patriarchal way, right?
	So you'd think, if you're in a huge shit like this with a bunch of assholes, you'd think you'd explain yourself and he would at least go like, oh, fuck, this is not good.
	This is not good.
	This is not good.
	His initial stance was to reprimand me for daring to say what was true.
	Yeah.
	Like his initial stance was, okay, I cannot believe that you think that females should not be in the infantry.
	And in my opinion, I don't think females should be in the fucking military.
	That's a pretty controversial opinion nowadays in 2021.
	But like, I don't fucking care.
	I don't think they should be involved in any of it.
	They should be at home.
	No, this was a relatively mainstream thing to say even like 10 years ago.
	I remember Terry Shapert was talking about how if you're in a foxhole and a woman goes over, right?
	Your first instinct as a man is to be chivalrous and to go in front of her.
	Whereas if it was like some huge dude that was like two feet taller than you, you'd be like, all right, I guess we're going.
	I'll be after him.
	Well, exactly.
	I mean, in a fire situation, I'd be like, well, he chose to run up there.
	I have to just defend his ass.
	That's part of the gig, you know?
	But when it comes to a female, I don't care that you're sick.
	I had the flu and fucking quinine palms.
	I still fucking stayed in a turret for 72 hours with no fucking food.
	I'm sorry.
	I don't have any fucking excuses for you.
	And you have none.
	You chose to fucking be here.
	That's your goddamn choice.
	Well, the fact that she's complaining shows that she doesn't get the culture.
	Right.
	And neither does the fucking Marine Corps.
	They don't understand the people that are fucking joining nowadays.
	All we want to do as Marines, well, my command, what they wanted to do back then was just suck the cock of the PC culture and make sure that they got continuously promoted.
	So after he said, hey, bitch, stand by, I went out of his office and my first sergeant, which is the rank below him, came up to me and said, go wait in my office.
	And I went, okay, I'm about to get fucked.
	I'm about to get really fucked by the system.
	And he goes, okay, write a statement for your NJP.
	And NJP is non-judicial punishment, right?
	And I was like, okay, this is going to be a company thing.
	I'm going to get like 45, 45.
	I'm going to have to like come back and clean the fucking head and do some stupid bullshit, maybe pick up some fucking trash on the highway, buy the base, whatever.
	So I write this statement and I'm like, hey, I was an NCO.
	I've been in for probably three and a half years.
	I've never committed any sort of fucking offense.
	I've been a good Marine.
	I've done my best.
	I've learned my knowledge.
	I can go to combat and support the Marines under me, blah, blah, blah.
	So I sign the entire thing.
	And my first sergeant comes back in the room and goes, okay, good.
	Do you want a lawyer?
	A lawyer?
	And I said, yeah.
	And I said, no.
	And he goes, okay, I'm going to read you your rights.
	So the fucking legal representative from the fucking battalion walks in the room and he goes, do you want a lawyer?
	And I said, no, sir, I don't.
	And I'm at parade arrest.
	I'm all fucking, you know, presented.
	Well, I mean, I was on my way out.
	So my cams looked like shit.
	I was just fucking like, yeah, this is the shit.
	Well, you should have had a lawyer, right?
	In retrospect?
	So, well, I can get to that if you give me time.
	But he goes, do you want a lawyer?
	And I said, no, I fucking don't.
	And so he says, go back home, make yourself fucking presentable and come back and be ready for formation by 1600.
	And I went, okay, like I'm shaved.
	I have quote unquote battalion presentable tanks, whatever.
	So I go back and I change into my shitty whatever best fucking battalion can I come back to base and the entire fucking battalion is waiting for me.
	And I wasn't expecting any of this.
	And I walk up to my staff sergeant that I served with for damn near four years and I go, hey man, like what the fuck?
	Like what's happening here?
	And he goes, dude, I'm sorry, but you said the wrong thing.
	There's not really much I can do for you.
	And I was marched in front of my entire fucking mallion and I was reprimanded for my comments publicly.
	They stripped my rank.
	While I was married, they took away my pay and they made sure that I had to come back to base for 45 fucking days to sweep, swab, and clean the fucking headquarters.
	Now, after that punishment, were you reinstated?
	No.
	No, I didn't get any rank back.
	But I didn't get dishonorably discharged or anything like that.
	I was just made an example of.
	So what was your rank?
	In front of all the guys that I served with.
	So what was your rank?
	So now you're not a corporal anymore.
	I was a corporal.
	Well, no, because I've been out.
	Oh, so does that affect your pension?
	No, I didn't get a pension.
	I didn't serve 20 years.
	I just served four.
	Oh, I see.
	Sorry.
	Was it your choice to not?
	To really...
	Was it your choice to leave?
	Like, you could have went through with shit and then bounced back?
	Or like you were on your way out anyway?
	Well, they didn't non-reck me, which means I can't...
	They didn't say, hey, you can't get promoted anymore.
	But if I wanted to stay in, I would have had to redo all of the merits to regain NCO and then get promoted and then continue my career.
	So they stayed back in two fucking years if I wanted to keep going.
	So why did you bother doing the 45 days of cleaning if you were on your way out anyway?
	I didn't have a choice.
	I either do that or I go to fucking jail.
	I either show up and sign the fucking duty list.
	That was your punitive duty.
	Wow.
	Punitive duty.
	That's what non-judicial punishment is.
	It's literally like, hey, by the way, you do what we fucking say or you go to jail.
	And they weren't even remotely cool about it.
	Like, hey, we have to do this.
	They're not like, hey, we have to do this.
	They're really digging in and being like, yeah, you fuck.
	You do this shit.
	You know, if you had told me that you had said, you had made it a public statement, non-anonymously, that blacks don't belong in the military.
	And if you see one there, you can't guarantee you won't hurt him.
	Then the story sounds a little more reasonable.
	But what you said anonymously was the predominant belief probably of all Americans.
	No, not all Americans.
	Probably like 60% of Americans today and definitely 80 to 90 15 years ago.
	I don't know if that's true, though.
	I don't know.
	It's a pretty reasonable thing to say.
	Sure.
	But then again, I found you extremely reasonable.
	And nowadays, you're a radical to the mainstream opinion.
	How many pull-ups can a woman do?
	They have to do three.
	Maybe four.
	Maybe four.
	There's a three-pull-up debate.
	Gina Parano got on a pull-up bar, I would maybe do more than her.
	And I'm fat as shit.
	And I've been off for six years.
	How many can you do?
	You know, it's like maybe 15 on a good day if I'm not hungover.
	And it's not like that's irrelevant, too.
	Right, right.
	So when I made that comment, my point was: hey, by the way, she doesn't fucking belong here.
	It doesn't matter.
	I don't care about the fact that she has a fucking vagina.
	It doesn't, that's not the point.
	I don't care.
	Two things can be true at once.
	She has a vagina and she can't be in the fucking infantry.
	You know why?
	Because she can't fucking do what the rest of the men do.
	The shittiest guy in my fucking platoon would beat her fucking ass.
	And he was 220 fucking pounds.
	You see what I mean?
	Oh, I see what you mean already.
	10 years ago, like, to right, to make, to, to comment about your, you know, your previous point 10 years ago, that might have been a mainstream, quote-unquote, sort of idea.
	But nowadays, it's fucking not.
	Pretend that women are men and men are women and those fucking...
	It's all gray area bullshit.
	But guys like you and me talk about the fact that, hey, there are lines that have to be fucking drawn.
	And if you don't draw those fucking lines, there are consequences.
	And guess what?
	Nowadays, when he talks about the fucking commercial with the army and these fucking lesbians that are like, oh, yeah, my mom, I was raised by two moms and now I'm in the fucking cream.
	Guess what?
	If we go to war with Russia, we're fucked.
	We're completely fucking screwed.
	That's the crazy thing.
	It's the same with the NYPD and the FDMY.
	You are putting other men in danger.
	Like if I have a five-foot-tall woman come into my house when I'm on fire, she can't carry me down the stairs.
	So to be woke, you're putting all these other people in danger.
	Exactly.
	Exactly.
	All right, man.
	Thanks for calling.
	We've got to wrap up the show.
	That is a weird concept.
	But check out the email I just sent you where all these corrections officers are celebrating their graduation.
	I think they're MY CEOs, corrections officers.
	I think you should give the odd person a chance if their females are unusual.
	No, I just sent it to you.
	But I think we may, the pendulum may be swinging a little far in the wrong direction.
	Look at the pendulum is rolling.
	Cadbury eggs.
	Look at them.
	So there's a prism riot.
	I need your help.
	Hey, hey, I'm radioing in.
	I'm radioing this team.
	I got beat by this guy.
	He got my radio.
	No, he doesn't have my radio.
	That's what I'm calling you.
	But he beat the shit out of me.
	I'm semi-conscious.
	I can feel myself drifting into an unconscious state.
	They have my, they don't have my gun.
	I didn't have a gun on me at the time, but they got my baton.
	They're beating me with it.
	And they're going to get the next officer who comes in here.
	Can you come help?
	Can you in the middle?
	Look at the one in the front and center.
	Can you come help me?
	I'm in a fight with seven fucking black monsters who are in here for life.
	There's a prison riot happening.
	Can you come help?
	There's a prison riot happening in the staff cafeteria over the last two nights.
	Connor McGregor, Mike Tyson, and fucking Deontay Wilder are wailing on me.
	Can you come over, please?
	Old blind lady?
	Like, look at this white woman right here.
	What is she going to do?
	Thanks for coming out, guys.
	There's like basically those guys in the top corner are the only ones who should be doing this job.
	And of those five, it looks like maybe four.
	I don't know about the Jewish-looking guy two over from the far left.
	Hi.
	Well, you know, it looks like it's time to get fired.
	Go on strike.
	It's a form of going on strike where you go, you know what?
	If you don't want me here, if you think that my opinions are unacceptable, then fine, I'll leave.
	And you can stay here with the two mommies military and see how that works out for you.
	And then they'll come begging, pleading for you to come back.
	And you'll say, no.
	No.
	Sorry.
	We got a show for you tomorrow.
	I think we're doing Josh Me and Josh Denny watching commercials tomorrow.
	We didn't find that many black women with white men like we thought we would, but I'll explain that tomorrow.
	In the interim, lots of fun new shows coming up.
	And I will see you on Monday.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	This one is eating the poop all over the place.
	Sometimes the complaints will be false.
	Please, it's a fucking job.
	I felt worthless.
	I felt ugly.
	I felt gay.
	I think I know why.
	It doesn't seem.
	You're gonna lie.
	You know, I tear up for bad things.
	I tear up for happy things.
	The why of things.

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