Pokimane and Austin Li navigate lifestyle debates, from ethical consumerism regarding Raytheon to the 2025 U.S. Cheese Contest, while discussing Ramadan theology and TwitchCon anecdotes. The dialogue shifts to raw personal stories involving childhood trauma over accidental nudity, territorial grandfather behavior, and menstrual cycle impacts on mood. They dissect the "Bad Baby Alabama Baker" drama, address public restroom etiquette, and conclude with plans for the GLAD Awards red carpet, blending humor with deep vulnerability about shame and identity. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Welcome Back To Fear Ann00:02:25
He gave his whole life for you, Hassan.
He kidnap.
You're talking about Jesus Christ?
Jesus is a robber.
Well, I thought Ola probably did too, right?
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of the Fear Ann podcast where I am doing the intro and not Hassan Piker.
A lot of people that tuned in last week, Pokey, he did the intro, didn't even know we were starting the podcast.
Yeah, they were like, what the hell's going on?
Oh.
Yeah, so we suffered a little bit of an analytics.
It was a little lag in the start of our retention of this channel.
And this is an intervention.
Yes, it is.
I didn't want him to have that because he took some time off on the podcast.
And I wanted to punish him.
One episode.
Yeah, I wanted to punish him.
I do know that this is a contentious topic on the podcast.
Yes.
The Austin lifestyle versus the Hassan lifestyle.
I actually thought that could be a good point for us to talk about.
Versus stray people.
Yes.
Yes, very much.
Exactly.
You're going to hell.
Let's discuss.
No, no, no.
The monthly vacation versus the yearly vacation.
Yeah.
I don't know.
And my goal in life is to be right in between.
Okay, so you're in between our multiple lifestyle.
I don't know.
I think mine's, I think you should try the every week vacation thing.
Introduce our guest.
Well, before we go any further, thank you.
Before we go any further, before I was rudely interrupted by Hassan, I'd like to welcome Pokemon to the podcast.
Woo!
Many have described you as the Beyoncé of the space.
Many being Austin.
God bless them, love them with my whole heart.
My whole heart.
I have.
Or Lady Gaga.
Some have said that.
Why not?
Some have said that.
Some have said both.
Yes.
Yes.
That's a good new nickname for me.
Thank you.
Welcome to the show.
Please refer to me as Bianca from here on out for the whole episode.
We absolutely will.
And it's such a pleasure to have you in the wake of our co-host, Cutie Cinderella, who has perished from a self-suck incident.
Yeah, we're hosting trials.
The Almond Soda Surprise00:10:44
Oh, we don't like to say it.
Can I say I was actually so excited to fill for the leader of Girly Pop Nation today.
Yes.
I feel so good taking on that responsibility, and I hope to make you guys proud.
I hope to make you guys proud.
Phil, this is a tryout, Poke.
Yeah, last week we had Tariyami, and this week we had Pokemon.
We're just, you know, next week, Lady Gaga.
Everybody wants a piece of the Fearan podcast.
They want the seat.
You saw the line of women outside.
Yeah.
Right?
Well, there were actually several men.
Oh, really?
I thought I recognized one.
I didn't.
Yeah, our estrogen levels are crashing.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we need some girly pop.
Lucky for you guys.
My hormonal imbalance is going to make up for it all.
Okay, so.
So much estrogen.
Let's go.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I tried.
The problem is, is like I'm a gay man.
And I. Wait.
Yeah.
Really?
I know.
Yeah, it's hard.
It's hard.
It's messed up.
But I usually, I code switch.
So I need a girl to bring the vibes a little bit more.
What happened to your voice, Austin?
Yeah, you look like you're out all night drinking.
Wait, because he was quite fast.
Yes.
Because he was.
Were you out all night drinking?
Wait, hold on.
Your eyes are like half closed.
Wait, hold on.
Wait, hold on.
I didn't know it was obvious.
I even put a little...
I put a little Austin.
You're like this.
It's so nice.
You do seem a little eepe.
Okay, hold on.
You can't even say Polyp.
Your voice is the worst I've ever heard.
Sealer under my eyes to try to half close.
Yes, I was okay.
We met.
Look, I went out with a gay couple last night.
Yeah.
And it was so nice.
And we started, we were like, let's start with happy hour, five o'clock.
Sure.
So we're like, we'll go to happy hour, then we'll go to dinner.
You started at five o'clock.
So we started with wine and happy hour.
Then we went to dinner where we had a couple more bottles of wine.
Yeah.
And then we're like, well, it's too early to go to the clubs.
So then we went back to the room for champagne.
And then you still went to children.
You can just say you went on a battery.
No, and then we went to the club.
You're acting like alcohol surprised you.
Like we went to a dinner and then, oh my, well, it's open.
And then we went to another button.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
What you're describing is an insane amount of alcohol.
You went on a bender.
Really?
I wasn't even hungover this year.
I would love to know how you guys define bender.
What is the difference between a good night out and a bender?
He said bottles.
They plural.
Yeah.
He said bottles plural.
I didn't know.
So much bottles at the end.
At dinner, mind you, I did finish them by myself.
And then you went out to the club afterwards.
Yeah.
How many drinks did you have last night?
I don't remember.
I didn't blackout.
Less than 10.
Oh, less than 10.
He's lying.
He's lying.
You went on a bend.
Come on.
Come on.
You went on a bender.
Unless.
Unless, yeah.
Unless it was more than 10.
You said you started at five.
That's like Will and I in Japan.
I mean, yeah.
No, I started flying.
And it's only dog shit when you woke up this night.
No, I actually, well, I switched.
At one point, I was like, oh my God.
It was after a double shot of tequila.
Are you still drunk?
No.
That's what it is.
Hair the dog.
That would be kind of like hair the dog.
No, no, no.
I'm sober.
I switched to soda water.
Okay.
Because people were like, have another drink.
And I'm like, I got one.
I was like, but nobody knew what the fuck it was.
I was just pouring soda water in.
I hate soda water.
I had a good time.
I like that.
It wasn't.
I feel like it's such an alley thing to come to LA and then all of a sudden be like, sparkling, please.
Yeah, it's not like that.
Like sparkling water, soda water.
I can't.
It's a recovering alcoholic trick.
You get a soda water and you put a dow, like a touch of okay, but how many people are recovering alcoholics that drink soda water?
Can I admit that?
Almost?
Yeah, because it looks like it's okay.
That makes more sense.
It looks like your hand is occupied.
It looks like you're still drinking.
So you're like still social and you don't like come across as like weird.
I am not a recovering alcoholic, but I go through like a case of LaCroix a day.
It's a really bad habit.
Case controversial.
Do you like Sprite?
No, not really.
I love Sprite.
That's my favorite thing.
But he doesn't have a sweet.
I surprise you like La Croix.
La Croix.
Sorry.
LaCroix.
It's La Croix.
I slam a pomple mousse like every hour.
Is it a texture thing, a mouthfeel thing?
I just like to be consuming something.
And the fact that it's zero calorie makes me feel good about it.
And the fact that there's no aspartain in it also makes me feel like I'm not destroying my brains.
Have you ever thought of buying those things where you're able to make the soda water at home?
Or like the carbonated water?
No, we don't do soda streams.
BDS.
Oh, okay.
BDS?
BDS.
Boycott Divestments and Sanctions.
Yeah, boys.
It's an Israeli company.
We have Soda Stream sends Raytheon missiles.
Yeah, yeah.
We don't do Starbucks.
I learned so much on this pod.
I'm so happy to be here.
No, I know.
It's a minefield out there.
You got to be careful.
You never know what you're going to be supporting or funding.
That's right.
You never know.
Yeah, Austin is a nervous wrecker.
No, I am.
He's like, am I consuming something unethical?
Yeah, no.
No, I'm not like that.
I feel like I know the big ones, but not the details.
Yeah.
But it's good to run and buy Hassan.
Every time I need to buy something, I'll just send you a very long text.
If he'll fucking, if he responds.
I'm responsive.
I was like, next thing, next thing, by the time he responds, like, you could have been funding another war.
Yeah.
Oh, good God.
Okay.
Like, he responds to half of my shit.
I went out last night.
What?
You went out, Jesus?
Yes, that's right.
You went out?
You went out of here?
Yeah, I did.
Without me?
I was out too.
We didn't even know you were in LA.
You don't tell me you're in LA.
What do you mean?
I'm here for the podcast.
Of course, I was here.
You literally.
You could have flown in this morning.
I think that's what you did last night.
I just want to ask you.
He does usually do that, but now he's been doing the second thing, which is more annoying.
No, you texted me that you were here later.
No, hold on.
Let me show you.
I love that the first app that opens the Snapchat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
The thing that he's been doing recently is telling me that he's in Los Angeles after he's been in LA for an extended period of time without even informing me.
And he doesn't even stay with me.
Like, I'm like, Austin, why don't you come stay with me yesterday?
Yesterday, 8:52 a.m.
Are you in LA, Hassan?
Me.
Yes.
Yeah, we had already gone out at that point.
No, that was yesterday.
Yeah.
8:52 a.m.
Yeah.
Oh, 8:52 a.m.
Not P. A.M.
Oh, yeah.
You went out last night.
You didn't even invite me.
So you knew.
You knew to be fair.
We went to a friend's very small birthday.
Oh, wait.
At a pool, at a pool bar.
You know what?
I take it back.
Will invited me.
Oh, Will invited you.
There's so many plot twists in your guys' friendship.
Yeah, come out.
We're going to a friend's birthday party.
Why did you invite him?
I'm getting.
Can you believe this asshole?
No, I kind of can't, actually, because this story has flipped three ways already.
It's been two minutes.
We went out to a friend's birthday.
A friend of both Will and mine, I've known him for around 15 years at this point.
We went to college together, and he apparently, his own words, texted a close group of friends to see who would show up, which is kind of sad.
Like as a test.
Yeah.
And I had totally forgotten.
So luckily, Will was.
I invited him.
He said he was in his underpants.
I feel like that's very Will behavior.
He'll remember.
Yeah, he did.
And he'll let you know.
And he hit me up and it was like, oh, you want me to pick you up?
I was like, hell yeah, thank you.
And then we went and it was awesome.
Yeah.
It was great seeing old friends.
I ordered a cartoonishly love large club sandwich and just little club sandwich like a like Bug's bunny.
Like I opened my mouth to like I did want to do it.
Oh, I hear the Minecraft eat sound.
It was like this big.
It was crazy.
It was long.
So really you went to dinner.
You didn't go out?
No, no, no.
We went to a bar.
Yeah.
We went to a bar.
Did you have a beer?
Yeah, I did.
I did, as a matter of fact.
I had a tall boy of Guinness.
And we reminisced.
Wait, speaking of eating, I know you can't eat.
But I did.
You brought snacks?
Of course.
How are you guys?
I would like to apologize because when you got here, I offered you food.
Oh, yeah, we're no longer friends, actually.
Yeah, yeah.
And then I also offered you water.
Do you think that's so nice?
Ivan is fasting for Ramadan for those of you at home who are wondering.
But they're not offended if you're like, would you like food?
Yeah, it's actually like, oh, you're thinking of me.
Thank you.
I just want to make sure I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm fasting.
Now, I know Tara brought you guys baklava too, but like every country has baklava.
So at least enjoy ours.
Is this Moroccan?
Yes.
So Moroccan baklava, Moroccan cookies, which are mostly almond and sometimes other things.
And these are sort of orange slices with like cinnamon and okay, let me tell you something, okay?
I'm going to be very honest about the baklava.
Are we trying to fight?
Because we might.
We might have to fight.
Here's what happened.
That was really worth it.
Marshall and the cheese.
Tara brought us Persian baklava, and she knew that it wasn't going to be that good in comparison to the Turkish baklava.
So if this, I'm about to taste this and be very honest on it.
I don't know if you're going to do it right if it matches the standards of Turkish.
We honey everything up.
So she's going to be pretty sweet.
No.
Let's see.
I've had a lot of baklava.
You like?
Wild.
Let's do the text for the movie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Toast pretty good, right?
Okay, the baklava is wild.
No, let me tell you, Pokey.
There's a man with Lebanese blood coursing through his veins.
All right.
The Middle Eastern side of the table.
Middle Eastern, yeah.
Yeah.
Middle Eastern side of the table.
I can tell you, although it pains me, this is the best baklava.
That was very good.
I'm so glad you guys enjoyed it.
I'm sorry to my Lebanese.
It's good.
Thank you, Hassan.
The Turk in him will not allow him to.
Okay, good is good enough in my mind because I know even that took a lot to say.
Okay, I tried to ask my mom once, like, what are in Moroccan desserts?
And I'll point at one and she'll say almond.
And I'll point at another and she'll say almond.
And I'll be like, okay, what's inside?
She'll be like, almond.
Yeah, yeah.
There's three different types there.
So they're just almond.
So all like the key ingredient.
Oh, it's really good.
In all of those, like, little cookies and treats and stuff.
This specifically are, they're like orange slices.
Yeah, it would suck to have a nice cookie beans in Morocco.
Yeah.
You're really bound.
Technically Sound Cheese00:05:50
You're just taken out immediately.
Sorry about that.
Did you make this?
No, no, no, no.
But this is a place that I order from frequently.
In a tin.
All right, look.
Can we pretend though?
She's so marketed.
I would love to be my child wife here.
I really would.
I really would.
This one is really good.
The cookie?
The almond cookie is really good.
There's almond in there, by the way.
I tell you what.
This tastes delicious.
The almond orange cookies?
I love the way you're shape.
I'll tell you what.
Gives me a look.
This tasted.
It was almost seductive.
Great delivery, Austin.
This one is.
Wait, is this a citrus slice?
Yes.
With almond and cinnamon?
Yeah, and just random things about it.
I also brought a snack.
Really?
Thank you so much for your snacks.
They were fantastic.
Marsh, would you please play the header?
Because this is a very controversial snack.
It's got a story.
Go ahead and play this.
Oh, oh, well.
Well, my stomach hurts.
What?
And I don't know where to find an in-network doctor.
What should I do?
Austin Show, I thought you're a hypochondriac.
You know where to do this, but I thought you'd know about ZocDoc.
Zock Doc?
That's right.
Zoc Doc.
It's a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment.
Now, I want to choose from a few different doctors.
I don't want to just have one option.
How many options do I have with Zock Doc?
Listen, Zoc Doc's gotcha.
So you got to stop putting off those doctors' appointments and go to zocdoc.com slash fear to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today of your choice.
That's ZOCDOC.com slash fear.
ZocDoc.com slash fear.
ZocDoc.com slash slash fear.
Slash fear.
Slash fear.
Got a story.
Go ahead and play this.
And this afternoon's bright spot is all about cheese.
Wisconsin may be the dairy capital in the world, but this year's top cheese hails from right here in Connecticut.
That's right.
Arethusa Farms and Bantam has won the 2025 U.S. Championship Cheese Contest.
It's bullshit.
It's bullshit.
As a Wisconsin cheese bed, I think it's unimaginable cruelty to allow Connecticut to win this.
It's a lot of effort, but it's such a rewarding feeling to know that others feel that it's such a technically sound product.
Yeah, this is a very technically sound cheese.
So go ahead and pause that, Marsh.
He's talking about a dairy product, but it sounds like he's talking about like a language learning machine.
Like randomness.
Whoa.
The Falcon 6.
Yeah, we were.
Listen.
So this is a Cheese Cup winner from Connecticut, which is very controversial.
Yes, why?
Because the Wisconsinites of our country think that any cheese outside of Wisconsin is subpop.
Listen, I'm not from Wisconsin, but I have a lot of feelings on this issue because I'm a big cheese head.
And as a big cheese head, I haven't tasted this yet, but I already know that the jurors have been fraudulent at the cheese competition since 2023 when an aged Gouda, also from Connecticut, won in the cheese championship.
That was also a hot button year for cheese heads.
And I believe that I believe that the integrity of the United States cheese competition needs to be addressed.
Yeah.
This smell is strong.
Well, you know, for later.
This person's going to smell like a shoe.
Okay, this actually smells like a cheese.
So what cheese is this?
This is the Connecticut cheese.
The winning cheese.
This is the winning cheese.
This is the winning cheese.
All right, here we go.
Here we go.
In 2023, it was Gouda.
Thank you.
That is an intense cheese.
Oh, that's fucking amazing.
I just came back from Paris and they also have such strong cheese, but like when it tastes so strong, I don't really know what I'm looking for.
That is an intense cheese.
What's good about it?
It's a little product.
Yeah, it's a very technically sound product.
Wow.
Okay, this is the notes.
Okay, what notes?
What notes?
Do you have any crackers?
Okay, let me tell you something.
It's perfectly creamy.
Yeah.
And yet not fatty, not so fatty that it would disturb the delicate texture.
It's like a nuclear bomb of flavor.
It's a really good.
I mean, I think this also might be a Gouda or an MNOL, but it is very, very good.
It's a very technically sound cheese.
I'm going to look it up.
Hold on.
Is this the wrapper?
Yeah, that's the rind.
Do I eat it?
You can throw that in your mouth.
Go ahead.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Really can't eat.
I don't know.
For the record, the United States Championship Cheese Contest is the nation's premier cheese contest.
Yes.
It's been around since 1981.
Right.
Okay.
And this year's cheese contest was also held in Green Bay, Wisconsin.
Yeah.
And I want to see what the, I want to see what the technology is.
It's a very technically sound cheese.
Okay, no, I need to give you more.
I'm going to give you more of this.
What's up?
I thought you were joking around when you said you were a cheesehead.
No, he's a cheese head.
I love cheese.
This was a really good cheese.
Holy crap.
It was good.
That was delicious.
I can't, dude, I can't wait to give you a chance.
United States Cheese Contest00:11:44
The way I'm sat here fasting with three people going, bro, that was so yummy.
That was the yummy thing I was doing.
I'm fucked up.
Can I tell you how I felt?
No, no, no.
I think it's a very funny thing.
Next week's food I'm bringing is the most expensive bottled water in the world.
Oh, she bring an item every time?
Well, I'm waiting for you to.
But she can't drink water either.
She's fasting.
You can't have water.
She's fasting.
I don't know that.
Well, fasting, usually you can have water.
No.
Intermittent fasting.
Yeah.
So, actually, let's talk about it.
This will be educational for everyone here.
Can you explain to us what fasting is?
Here's the thing.
I keep looking up cheese fast.
I don't mind talking about the fact that I'm fasting, but if we get into a religious debate, I'm going to jump out the window.
No, it's not going to be a debate.
No, don't worry.
It's so informative.
This is the entirety of Muslim world for a month out of the, I guess, what is it?
It's the lunar calendar.
Yes.
So it changes every year.
From sun up to sundown.
Don't eat any food.
Try not to swear.
And also don't eat.
It's very Lent vibes.
You try to be as good of a person as you can.
You give something up.
And for us, it's eating from sun up to sundown.
But you drink as much water, you eat as much food outside of those hours, and you're kosher.
So as long as the sun is down, you could just eat.
Oh, yeah, you could go kosher.
If you want, you could flip your sleep schedule.
That's a little bit cheating.
A lot of people do sleep a lot during Ramadan in the Muslim world.
I mean, you do be tired.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wait, Hassan, have you ever fasted?
Yeah.
But just for fun, just to see what it's like.
Never, never for like really.
Have you ever made it through a full Ramadan?
No, no, 30 days in a row?
Absolutely not.
No, I've only fasted for like two, three days in a row, Max.
Well, Jesus is.
You get pretty used to it.
You're not really giving up much, are you?
No.
No, because I'm not like, you know, I'm not a committed believer.
He gave his whole life for you, Hassan.
Are you kidding me?
That's not.
You're talking about Jesus Christ?
No, Jesus is a robber.
Well, I thought Allah probably did too, right?
He just eyeballed it.
They kind of all do in a way, you know?
I mean, they're all sacrificing.
I don't know.
I feel like you mean Muhammad.
Oh, shit.
I mean, look, Allah is just God.
Well, yeah, but I thought he probably gave you something.
Someone sacrificed something.
Sure.
Every religion, that's how it goes.
Jesus did it.
Allah did it.
You just knew exactly what's happening.
Jesus is also considered a prophet under Islam.
That's right.
We recognize Jesus.
That's right.
Well, I know that.
But not that he is the son of God.
That's the only difference.
So what is he?
A cousin of God?
No, he's a prophet.
Jesus is he's still considered a prophet.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
A second cousin twice from the kind of vibe, yeah.
They basically think that that book of religion came last year.
Does the Christian religion recognize Muhammad?
No, because it came after.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, got it.
Christians don't recognize Islam.
Islam recognizes all Christians.
Wait, you didn't.
Oh my God.
This is like a matter of time.
I don't know the timelines either.
No, I know some details like Christianity back in Islam.
And then Scientology.
And then we're giving things.
Mormonism.
Yeah, and then Mormonism signs out.
And we're trying to be a better version of ourselves.
That's right.
I don't usually talk about religion too much because I feel like everybody has such a particular person.
Yeah, no, no.
Wait, do you guys know Sizza much?
Yes.
I love Sizza.
Did you watch her recent movie with Kiki Palmer?
No, I didn't.
Well, she just plays this very fun, like spiritual character, and I'm very much along those lines.
With religion, take what good it does for you.
And, you know, live a happy life.
Be the best person you can be.
I'm all for people.
Slay period.
Let's go.
Do religion.
I personally really like fasting.
I feel like it's a good challenge for me every year.
Yeah.
And it helps me kind of disconnect from my relationship with food because it's so addicting.
Even just caffeine or like the idea of I need to go out with these people and eat this thing.
I don't go crazy at iftar though.
Pardon?
You don't go crazy at ifdad when you break your...
Recently, over the years, my iftar has gotten less and less crazy.
Like, I'll try to, you know, when your stomach shrinks a little bit when you haven't been eating as much and you're so hungry, you go to eat, you finish half a sandwich, you're like, okay, I'm good.
Yeah.
What is iftar?
Iftar is a drink.
You break the fast.
That's why we break the fast.
Okay.
So the next morning, it's like.
And there's a ceremony associated with that too.
I mean, everyone can break it.
I was going to bring you guys dates.
That's the classic.
Mejdul dates so yummy.
Okay.
Fair.
Well, Hassan broke it on the iftar was like two days into the.
I don't, I don't.
He doesn't fast, I don't, I don't follow any of the stuff.
I just know he's a bad.
He's not good.
I'm a bad monkey.
He's a bad monkey.
It's true.
It's true.
So here's the thing.
On Iftar, you're supposed to break your fast with a date.
Yeah.
Oh, there's no doubt.
Water or I think I don't know if this was made up in Turkey, but my parents used to say olives.
Um, we do dates, yeah.
But dates is usually the most common one, the most popular one.
And then there's also sahur, which is like right before sun up, is when you're like the last time that you can eat.
And that's usually when like a lot of people will wake up early in the morning before sun up, you know, a couple hours before sun up, and then eat like a big meal as well.
Damn, yep, okay.
Yeah, you set like a 5 a.m.
It must be really hard to be like Muslim in the Arctic Circle or Alaska, where like sometimes the days are like three days.
Yeah, no, I think they have specific rules for places like that.
No, I'm not joking.
Yeah, I'm sure there's a just in the Arctic Circle where they're starving, dying.
No, no, there's places where it doesn't go down for six months.
Oh, interesting.
It's really hard to be a good Muslim in the Arctic Circle.
See, you learn something every day.
What do they do?
Close the blinds?
You know?
Sorry.
Yeah, yeah.
But I did want to say I didn't get to at the beginning, but I was so excited to come on the podcast today.
Also, because I feel like I haven't seen you guys, it's been way too long.
It really has.
I feel like there hasn't been as many streamer events as usual over the months.
I mean, I'm doing my best.
Yeah.
Please do more.
Yeah, I will go.
Do better.
I'll do more.
I'm going to try.
I'm going to try.
And secondly, not to glaze, but I watched some episodes before coming here.
And I wanted to say the podcast has only gotten better and fine.
Truly.
Thank you so much.
Truly.
She's like, last time I was on, y'all were ass.
No, no, but the last couple episodes I've watched, I really, I feel your guys' dynamic and friendship.
I feel like it's so smooth, the back and forth.
And especially because I started the podcast with Lily, so now I have so much more appreciation for that smooth banter.
Actually, I wanted to ask you guys for some podcast advice.
Let's do it.
Because a struggle that I've had recently is sometimes we'll have an outline, and I feel like I try to follow the outline too rigidly.
But when I just look at Lily and we just start shooting the shit, it's so good.
And so I'm like, how do you do a bit of both, still have a concise episode of Sharon?
So who's an outline for you?
Yeah, yeah, good question.
Who makes your outline?
It's actually March.
We hired him too.
Oh, so he makes an outline for you.
Oh, yeah, yeah, for everyone.
For everyone.
Wow.
That's cool because he doesn't make one for us.
Oh, I think that's why he was too busy with ours.
Yeah, that's cool.
We don't have an outline.
I don't know if you have anything.
Well, maybe that's a good thing because you just, it's such a good flow.
What we find is when you mix homosexuality with homophobia, you can find a perfectly great balance.
Not you will, him, mostly.
No, he's a homosexuality.
It's 3v1 here.
It's 3v1.
I find when we add too much structure, it sucks.
I mean, it doesn't suck, but it's not as good.
I think what I try and do is bring a few topics that I think everybody has tuned into.
And then you don't try and give it a set amount of time.
You bring it up.
And if people latch into it or like with the cheese, it's like, oh, interesting.
Kind of use it as a launching point and then just kind of banter.
Yeah.
And that's what we do.
And that's what we're doing right now.
Speaking of which.
She's so good at it.
You're the Girly Pop Nation representative right now.
Is there anything that you can talk about?
I love that.
Do you want to talk about any grievances?
Anything grinding your gear?
Yeah, what's going on in Girly Pop Nation that you know about?
Well, the first thing that comes to mind is just yesterday, I did a stream with Ray, Miyang, Leslie, Tina, and we all gave Ellen a little makeover.
It was very fun.
Can we see the final product?
Oh, please.
We first turned him into a handsome Frenchman and gave him a little haircut.
Now, how does one sell French?
We made his little stash much, much more intense.
We literally filled it in and then we shaved the sides and I don't know.
He turned so okay, but then we made him into a pretty, pretty girl.
I know.
Wait a minute.
Wait, God.
There's some better photos.
She kind of bad, though.
Wait, let me show you guys.
I took some actually killer photos of him.
I'm feeling a little confused.
That's the goal.
That's the goal.
He has a decent facial structure for being a pretty lady.
Wow.
Wow, he loves her.
Wow.
Wow.
She looks good.
Guys, wow.
Ella looks real.
He looks so cute.
Oh my gosh.
Period.
Period.
Slay.
Yeah, slay.
Look at that.
Yeah.
Send that to March if you don't want to.
Oh, my God.
I feel like Ellen looks like a D1 softball pitcher.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he looks like he could play for the female Los Angeles team.
Like, yeah, Los Angeles Lakers.
No, you didn't.
You did a great job.
Thank you.
But what I was shocked by.
I didn't mean anything wrong about it.
I mean, the Sparks?
The Sparks.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't.
Dude, I barely know the male team.
He said the Lady Lakers.
Is that a thing?
He doesn't know.
He didn't know what the name of the professional sports team for the.
I think I got that right.
Look up.
I think it's the LA Sparks.
I'm going to be, I'm going to look really bad.
That's impressive for you to know, though.
Thank you.
Are you an LA native?
No.
Oh, really?
Why are you giggling?
He's so far from being an LA native.
Nice.
He's not LA native.
I guess he just has so much knowledge in his brain.
No, he just loves women.
He's a real feminist.
Do you guys go to WNBA games?
I have.
I have not.
I would.
And what brought you to it?
Like, did someone else?
I need to watch some basketball.
His love respect.
I wonder if someone invited you or a group of friends.
His love and respect for women.
I think the WNBA.
Do I know love and respect for women enough?
I haven't gone.
Take me, Will.
Take me.
No, WNBA.
I think all live sports are really fun.
Go have some food, enjoy.
But I think the WNBA is like having a really kind of cool renaissance right now.
And I think it's only going to continue to grow in relevancy.
Yeah.
Okay.
I guess we all need to go.
Otherwise, those ladies can.
Yeah, they can.
I tell you what, I agree with you, Will.
Nothing better than going to a sports game, hitting up the concession stand.
Yeah, what do you get at a concession?
What's the last several hot dogs?
No, he goes, he goes, he plays Minnesota Vikings.
I know.
Now the concessions are included.
I usually go to the concession.
No, I do.
I do have the people in his box.
No.
Damn.
I don't get a box.
Sometimes when I'm sitting in my box, I like to sprinkle popcorn into the regular stand.
I can tell you what my concession stand was.
Los Angeles Lakers versus Clippers.
One piece night.
We were all there.
Yeah.
It was amazing.
It was an amazing game.
It was Luca's birthday.
It was cool.
I got fried chicken.
Wow.
I got a LeBron jersey after.
Airplane Confessions And Jokes00:10:38
I tell you what, there's a certain type of food that when you eat it in that environment, it's better because you're eating it in that environment.
Right?
For me, sports is a hot dog.
Yeah.
I'm going to go out on a limir and say airplane food to me tastes better because you're eating it in the sky.
No, it's the opposite.
It depends on the food.
Like the snackies, yes.
The meals, some meals are hits.
One time, I ordered a steak on a plane.
Okay.
A steak glazed with, I know, kind of wild, right?
I get it.
I start cutting into it.
I'm taking a bite.
I'm like, okay, this is some interesting barbecue sauce.
I keep cutting.
I realize it's chocolate sauce.
Chocolate glaze on a stage.
Where were you going?
I don't even remember.
I walked out of my mind.
Oh my God.
I think it might have been London.
London?
I don't know what happened, but chocolate glaze on a stage.
Planes all hired chefs, and I feel like the chefs are like trying to prove something and they need to stop.
Keep it simple.
Yes, I just want to get mummy.
Yeah, don't overcomplicate it.
I think airplane food is garbage.
And I'm talking like I've seen you eat a second or third burger on a plane.
Yeah, because I'm starving.
We're stuck up there for fucking 15 hours.
When we're going to Japan, what am I supposed to do?
Die?
I have to eat food.
I'm just violently food poisoned on a plane.
Oh, no.
What happened?
Not the last time we went to Japan, but the time before.
I didn't want to get the gringo menu.
Oh, so you, I, okay, okay.
The white menu versus the Japanese food menu.
So I was like, oh, I have the Japanese menu, and I'm slamming seafood in the sky.
Oh, no.
And like, the Japanese menu is also weird because it's like not even just like sea urchin.
Yeah.
There's just like colors and shapes you've never seen before.
Cod belly on your sea phone.
Yeah.
I would have died.
I'm allergic to sea urchin.
Like violent.
What happens if you have an allergic reaction in this?
I spent two hours in the bathroom having a full blowout.
Oh, I know people hated you because they had to go to stewardess.
Is like, hello?
Were you throwing up?
Was it the double dragon?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Is that what the double dragon dragon is?
That's what somebody said.
They were so nice to me.
They were like, are you okay, sir?
Can we help you?
And I was like, please, just leave me alone.
I think when you're puking and shitting.
Meanwhile, wait, why is that called double dragon?
That's what my brother said, but it could be fire out of breath.
Is it racist?
I don't know.
I hope it's not.
No, it's not.
I take it all back.
No, he said it.
I just fucking with them.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
No, there's like, there's probably like a Japanese air marshal with a with a taser waiting as well to see what comes out of the back of the ground.
Yeah.
How long did it last?
Oh, like a solid two hours.
Oh my god.
That's terrible.
I just went back to my seat and sweat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Sometimes that can happen.
It happened to me in Japan too, the last trip.
Wow.
Yeah, but it was thank God for bidets.
Will.
Yeah.
I've been having a hard time sleeping lately.
Well, I think the answer is already in your hands, Austin Sherry.
Really?
Yeah, that's right.
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Worst experience I've ever had on an airplane.
I can't believe we're all voluntarily bringing up airplane stories, and it's not Austin that brought that position up.
But worst experience I ever had was my crown broke off and my teeth.
Yeah.
And I had to fly back.
And I was in the air with the worst toothache of all time.
And then I found out that when you're in the air, it hurts even worse.
Exactly because the pressure.
Because the same thing happened to me.
My worst experience was actually.
Sorry, finish your story.
Well, no, I was like, I was literally just like trying to shove my face into the seat as hard as I could with the hopes that, like, I don't know.
It's just like it goes away and it never went away.
I was just praying.
I was like, please just smite me, God.
I want to just die right now.
It was like the worst pain of my life.
Oh, wow.
I feel you.
Something about like a crazy toothache on a plane, you feel like you're going to die.
Yeah.
Because, okay, so as he mentioned, I also learned this when it happened to me.
The pressure popular.
The pressure of going up and flying somehow makes your gums and your teeth react.
And sometimes if you had an issue that you didn't know about, you will find out once you're a bazillion.
Or if you have a sinus infection.
Yeah, you'll be able to get away.
I thought he was gay.
That's right.
Funny story.
Your first time on a plane.
Wait a minute.
You're laughing or it's a joke, but I actually came out on an airplane.
Wait, really?
Okay, so this is a story.
Lord Kirk.
Yeah, I don't know if anybody's heard this story, but my best friend Kirk, we were on an airplane.
Yeah.
And there was this.
The pressure was making me feel very, oh my God, Kirk, you've got an erection.
Yeah.
So, no.
I'm thinking about men.
Yeah.
Oh, I mean, that you get hard on a plane?
Someone does.
Snakes on a plane.
I mean, people do get hard on a plane.
Some people jerk off in bathrooms, like, you know, on internet.
Yeah.
It's not illegal.
What?
You've definitely checked.
Have you done that before?
No.
Neither have I.
It's not illegal.
It's just immoral.
I've never done that on a plane either.
You are both saying it like in a way that's making me feel like you've jerked off.
I have not.
Thank you for saying what I'm feeling, but louder and more expressive.
I have not.
You can't smoke a cigarette.
Yeah.
But you can jerk off.
Okay, but why?
I'm not saying I would do it, but 10 hours, it gets pretty boring.
You guys have both pounded off an airplane.
No, I have not.
It's been a long time.
I've never heard the term pounded off, actually.
I am simply saying that it's not illegal.
How would you do that functionally?
Like, you could barely fit in the bathroom.
You would, if one were to do it, they do it very carefully.
I've never done it.
So I'm not talking about myself.
Yeah.
And you just, he's just a, yeah.
Back to you coming out.
I'm very emotional.
He's also on the plane.
Yeah.
So I was on the plane and we were going to TwitchCon.
This is like, oh, God.
I don't know when this was, but we were going to TwitchCon.
Yeah.
And I was on the plane with Kirk and we were, there was this really fucking hot flight attendant.
I mean, girl hot, guy hot.
Big Pax or Titty.
Big boobs.
Okay, okay.
Just big boobs.
And they're going like this?
Yeah.
Like they do in issues.
I have never seen a man look, make tits look less appetizing than this motion.
They're just, you know, big old boobies, right?
Okay.
And then big old, big old just bag of sand.
Just period.
Just big old buttons.
It's okay.
Yeah.
You don't have to do that.
He's trying so hard to be straight.
Just a big one.
Beautiful.
Oh my god.
One of those.
You ever seen a woman bother?
Yeah.
So she's walking down the aisle and Kirk goes, hey, look at that.
Look at that.
And I go, what?
And I just, I was like, I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
I don't know what you're, what do you mean, what?
What?
You know, is somebody, what?
Is there, do I need to jump into action?
Is there some 9-112 happening?
I will take over the plane.
It's fine.
Yeah.
So anyway, I was like, what's going on?
He's like, Austin, you didn't see that?
Come on.
Are you gay or something?
And then there was a long pregnancy.
There was a long pause and I went, I went like this.
Yeah, I think I am.
Austin, can I be honest?
In that same tone?
That is the craziest way to come out to your boss.
Him being like, hey, look at those tits.
And you're going, I will not.
What are you, gay?
Well, yeah.
I will not.
But if there is some cock, I've been meaning to tell you something.
So you came out to your best friend.
He was still walking.
He was trying to have a promotional.
You came out to your best friend in a way where it was like he could possibly feel bad about him being like, Are you gay or something?
And you're like, Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.
Yes.
But isn't that a good learning lesson for him to not run around going, are you gay?
Wasn't Kirk's response to?
I think the funniest part is Kirk's response was, yeah, I know.
He knew.
So he knew I was gay because it was so testing.
We would talk about women together.
And you would describe me just like this.
He said, the way I would describe it.
Yeah, wait, so maybe Kirk was just like testing you and he was like, what are you gay or something?
Come on.
Yeah, yeah.
And so I came out to him and he was the only person that knew for a while.
Yeah.
And then eventually I told my mom and then I was like, just tell everybody.
Did your mom also go, hey, look at the tits on that?
Mama, mom, this is a perfect opportunity.
I like men.
I don't remember.
For a lot of people that came out, I feel like they can relate with this.
Someday you just want, you just kind of, it just overcomes you one day.
And you're just like, I'm going to do it today.
Yeah.
And I came downstairs.
My mom was sitting in the chair.
I was like, mom, I got something to tell you.
And she, and I go, I'm gay.
Or I'm bisexual is what I said.
Yeah.
And she's like, you're gay.
She countered.
She won up.
Okay, for sure.
No, but she was right.
She was right.
No, she didn't.
She fucked you.
I said, I'm bisexual.
And she said, shut up, F word.
I know what you want.
So, you know, and I love my mom.
She's a true ally.
She was correct.
She wasn't doing bi.
Did she actually say you're gay?
No, she, I told her I was biased.
I said, tell everybody.
And then she just told everybody I was gay.
Wow.
Which honestly helped because she did.
Bisexual erasure.
Coming Out Stories With Mom00:06:37
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I was like, so cute.
Yeah, no, my mom was, my mom was great.
Your mom knew you were trying to soften the blow.
Yes.
Yeah.
He says he likes tits.
Describing them like he'd bring in a plane.
Yeah.
Which he also loves.
He definitely loves planes.
Girls.
No, I mean, I think everybody loves a nice little pair of boobs.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You know, I do think that's a good idea.
Do you like a nice pair of breasts?
I feel like universally.
I feel like, don't we come into the world having an appreciation for them because they're the first things that feed us.
Yeah.
I think like and sustain us and nurture us and grow us.
What a grounded way of doing, right?
And it doesn't have to be sexual.
It doesn't have to be the same way.
That's the same way Will and I appreciate it.
Oh, yeah.
In the words that you use, for sure.
And not like a wooga type situation.
I'm so happy to hear that.
Like, I think I love, like, I love, like, first of all, I love all women.
But like, women with like very large boobs, I'm just like, oh, my God.
But there's something interesting.
I think it's, they're reminiscent of a fart where a fart has an opportunity to return us to a juvenile state.
Oh.
And the more mature I get, it's always fascinating that sometimes just a pendulous pair of breasts.
Yeah.
Immediately I kind of do like a please clear that from your mind.
Do you think balls serve a similar no balls are just hilarious?
Yeah.
Balls are just silly.
That's more like juvenilish to me.
I don't think they're silly.
Maybe it's because we don't have any relationship with our father's balls when we're children, unless we take a really traumatic shower or something.
You know what I mean?
Like fast turn.
Am I missing a reference here?
I think it's so funny.
There's just like, you know, guys often will have a traumatic.
Well, not guys growing up, sometimes you walk in and, oh, shit, there's your dad.
And you're naked.
Oftentimes, you know, throughout your childhood, a lot of people unfortunately walk in and see that.
Yeah.
You know?
Right.
I think we've all actually, I had someone walk in on me once when I was a child and I never forgot that.
So I understand it just kind of on you being naked.
Yeah.
That's different.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a very different situation.
We're talking about seeing your parents naked.
Yeah.
Luckily, didn't ever have to do that.
Thank God.
Yeah, I see my parents naked.
Also, the other thing.
Oh, you make it seem like you.
This is a common phenomenon.
Yeah, I've seen them both naked, unfortunately.
But that's like double homicide, double trauma.
Also, when you're a young, like a young man, yeah, like a you know, adolescent man, and you see your father naked, his penis looks like shy hallude.
You know what I mean?
Like the first because you're a sandworm, like dad dicks.
When you're seven years old, you're like, What the fuck is that?
When I saw my dad's dick, I was like, Damn, I hope mine grows.
Mine grows to be that size.
And the sad thing is, like, when you become an adult, you can never go back and compare your penis, right?
Yeah, so in my mind, my dad's penis is always going to be larger than mine.
I don't know if that's true, but for years, I haven't seen it since I was like, Yeah, no, you gotta, no, you just gotta see it.
Next time you see you, like, come on, come on.
Wait, so you've also seen it.
Oh, I've seen my dad's penis.
Have you?
I've seen my dad's penis.
My dad have most men seen their March says he sees his dad's dick.
But it's kind of four for four.
That's hundreds.
My dad's not very modest.
My dad would just walk out downstairs naked sometimes.
That's crazy.
You've mentioned this before.
That's not my dad's situation.
Yeah, no, my dad would just be walking into the kitchen.
There he would be just making his coffee.
I said, Jesus Christ.
Put on a fucking robe, dad.
Jesus Christ.
There's no blinds on the windows.
The neighbors are fast.
My dad's a big underwear guy.
He always used to wear underwear around the house.
That's it, though.
Which was always strange to me.
Like, why are you walking around in underwear?
He doesn't do that at my house, luckily, because I have too many guests.
Yeah.
That's good.
I think it's kind of like a territorial thing.
Maybe, yeah.
Oh, like, I own this place.
One of my favorite stories about my grandfather is when my mom brought home someone that she was dating, my grandfather didn't really approve of the guy.
And when the guy was like freshening up in the bathroom before like the prom or whatever, my grandfather came in and started taking a shit.
Like just to show him that he didn't.
Now that's Mark.
He just dropped that.
Holy shit.
That's badass.
It's tough.
Yeah.
It's very territorial.
It's very.
I feel like you can't fart, though, in that situation.
I don't, I think if you cut a fart in that situation, it's like kind of funny.
It undermines it.
I'm so sorry.
We have a guest.
No, it's okay.
You undermine the position of authority that you had.
If it's like a comical fart, imagine it's like, oh, yeah, then you're like, good one.
Good fart.
I'm like, how do I bring in girly poppies?
Yeah, she's bring it in.
Anything.
First thing that comes to mind, free word association.
Yeah, what's you guys keep talking about?
So I'm thinking vagina, but I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no.
I've never seen my mother's.
Yeah.
I've never seen my mother's.
Though I do appreciate that growing up, we had like a bathhouse kind of culture.
Oh, yeah.
So we would go to the Moroccan bathhouses.
Everybody's naked.
But I'd usually go with my hella old people's pussies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just not your mom's.
Little craps.
No, I wish I had that because I remember the first set of female parts I saw was my cousins.
I actually accidentally walked into her using the restroom.
I'm saved.
And I ran.
And she probably remembers to this day.
I ran away.
I was a trauma.
Did you take it in the restroom?
Yeah.
Oh, was she going to ski trip?
And I ran away.
Oh, yeah.
I like booked it.
Oh, no.
They didn't notice that I was going.
That's kind of funny.
It was like four hours that I was like, oh my God.
I need to process this emotionally.
Yeah, I went and bought a crepe.
Oh.
I remember this very vividly.
I like silently ate a crepe and was like, it was like my version of having a drink.
Yeah.
Did you feel like it was like a shameful response?
Oh, yeah.
I felt bad about it.
What did I do?
Yeah.
Am I going to jail?
That and also like how am I ever gonna look my cousin in the eyes again?
Yeah, and what how did you move past that?
Not easily.
Oh, I think she kind of she's like, it's okay, William.
And I was like, God.
Yeah, she's older.
Oh, that's a sign of a curious thing.
That softens the blow a little bit, I think.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe.
I would be mortified if anybody saw me.
Processing Emotions After Crepes00:08:08
And even today, I don't want to be seen naked.
Oh.
Yeah.
Wait, why?
I just, I mean, like, with my, if I'm having, if I'm like sleeping with somebody, I don't care, but I don't want to just be like out.
I don't want you to see me naked.
I mean, yeah, we were supposed to go to an on-site in Japan.
Yeah, that's the thing.
And measure each other's, and measure each other's costs.
No, because they made it.
That ruins the, like, that ruins the wholesome vibe.
I know, but they made it about my penis, and I just didn't want it to.
No, you didn't put him on.
Listen, there was going to be no measuring.
We just like winding him up.
I didn't know.
It was nerve-wracking, Pokey, because let's say we go to the army and I'm not having like good penis and bad penis days.
It's kind of like a good hair day, good bad hair day.
Is that a thing?
Because my coochie looks the same every day.
No, no, certain days you wake up and you're like, wow, you gotta like, that's a coochie advantage.
Yeah.
You didn't have a real good penis day where you're like, damn, was I swing the whole time?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Your cholesterol's just right.
Yeah.
I'm guessing your testosterone too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, so I'm not the only guy that thinks that.
No, no, no.
You do have good penis days.
Okay, I didn't realize that.
Wait, I do have an equivalent.
There are good breast days and less good breast days.
100%.
Yes.
And it's all correlated to your cycle.
Yep.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
So as I was saying earlier, I was like, my hormonal imbalance is going to fix this podcast.
That's because right before my period, my estrogen is out of this world.
Yeah.
Eyebrows are so sore.
I want to die.
How long does it be?
Is that your main symptom that you get?
Or do you get like mood swing?
A little mood swinging.
Primary symptom, though.
How long does it last every month?
That phase, it's called the luteal phase.
Oh, my God.
I love teaching guys about the menstrual cycle.
Yes.
Luteal.
And it starts with an L, so you know it's the worst.
It's the worst.
Is it a lunar-based word?
I think it might be.
Okay.
That would make sense since it's like a 28-ish day cycle.
Hassan, do you know anything about the menstrual cycle?
Do you know?
Because you know a lot about a lot of things, but I don't hear you piping up and you usually pipe up.
I was just giving space to a lady to talk about this.
I don't want to manage it.
I don't want to manage the period.
You know what I mean?
From the Latin lutus, meaning yellow.
Referencing the color of the corpus ledium, a temp.
What the hell?
A temporary endocrine structure involved in ovulation in early pregnancy.
So not relating to the lunar.
So that lasts to the moon?
That doesn't last that long.
No, no, no.
Luteal phase is right before your period.
It's about a week.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
And then how long does the period last?
About a week.
Everything's about.
It's half the fucking month.
You didn't know?
Do you know how many times I've hinted about this?
Like, you.
So, what do you mean that time of the month?
It's all the time.
It's 30 years old.
You didn't know the period lasts a week.
Oh, my God.
Ally.
God.
You get it.
Women.
You get it.
No, no, I'm just pokey.
No, I'm just saying.
Like, girl, that's crazy.
I know.
I've been trying.
What the fuck?
But, like, you know, being a female streamer, like, sometimes I talk about this stuff and I'm like, bro, he's falling into the void.
It's an awesome shit.
You got the theme of the hot guy being like, wait, periods every month?
That's the first time.
Oh, God, I hate periods.
I'm such a feminist.
I thought it was like a three-day thing.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
Wait, okay, you guys know, but I feel like you don't care as much.
Like, he's caring right now.
I think it's just because the information's so fresh for him.
No.
Shocking.
I truly didn't know it was too weak because I think a lot of men out there.
Yeah, check back with him in like two months.
He's not going to be shocked.
I don't remember it.
I'll remember it.
Thank you.
And I'm what can we do?
Austin, have you bought my merch yet?
No, Will.
I thought you were going to send me some.
Austin, you're rich.
That's right.
Where can I find it?
Willneff.shop.
Go buy the merch, please.
I'm going to go buy it right now.
What can we do?
As a society.
As a society.
Well, it sucks because you could say birth control because technically that kind of eradicates, but that's also messy.
It can mess up your hormones.
It'll tell you about the symptoms.
There's a lot there.
Well, that I am so sorry.
Yeah.
The best thing you can do is love women all the time and always forever.
Thank you.
Yes.
Got that down.
Hey.
God, yeah.
Well, I just adore women.
You don't.
You sure do.
Yeah, but I don't.
You don't like women so much, you don't even, you don't even fuck with them.
Yeah, I do.
You don't fuck with women at all.
I do.
I talked to a woman last night.
You gotta have random friends.
Yeah, I did.
I did.
I talked to a woman last night for a few minutes.
Well, I don't remember her name.
Oh, for a few minutes.
She complimented my pants.
And I said, thank you, sweetie.
Glad you entertained.
Sweetie.
Thanks, sweet cheeks.
And I did this.
No, I didn't say sweetie.
You're a pendulous brush, but not in a sexual way.
No, last night at the club, I so in the bathroom, urinal, like the males, the men's bathroom, there's a bunch of urinals, no dividers.
And I'm a shy peer.
So I'm not.
Was it a bad penis day?
Yes.
Yesterday was a bad penis day.
I was like, I am not, I am not feeling good right now.
So I was like, I can't.
I was like, what am I supposed to do?
I can't get hard right now because that'd be weird.
Yeah.
So hold on.
Wait, you can't.
Follow the logic.
Follow the logic.
I'm not going to get.
That's the only way it's going to look good at the urinal.
And I don't want to do that.
That's weird.
Actively contemplating?
No, I was not.
I was not contemplating fluffing.
It was off the table, Will, which is why it wouldn't just look like it.
I had contemplated it already.
It was off the table.
It wasn't an act of contemplation.
It happened.
It's never going to happen.
Image of you rock hard.
No, like kind of leaning back, like, no, never happened.
So, um, I was like, there's, there was one stall, and it was like a gender-neutral bathroom.
And so I was like, well, I'm going to get in line here.
And I was, it was me and a bunch of girls in line to go to the urinal and then, um, or to go to the stall.
And I don't know what happened, but I ended up, I was like, okay, I'm going to go in now.
And then I go in and I just hear a hey, it was my turn.
And I come out of the bathroom and I was like, oh, shit.
So I just was like, just stay quiet.
And they were pounding.
Hey!
And they were pissed.
I was like, I was like, you know, really trying to push.
And I was getting nervous, so I couldn't get it all out.
You were like, and Frank trying to take me.
And at that moment, you were.
The pressure was on.
And at that moment, you were thinking to yourself, I should have just fluffed.
I should have.
Get hard.
Just come out with your big heart.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
It's a gender-neutral bathroom.
So, anyway.
I'm not even harder right now.
This is just how it is.
Soft.
So I come out and this is a girl.
She's like four feet 10.
Yeah.
And I'm like, I am so sorry.
I didn't know it was your turn.
And she's like, it's okay.
You know, you're lucky you're handsome.
That's what she said.
Oh.
I know.
I know.
That's what I said.
I was like, ah, stop it.
He said, thanks, sweetie.
Yeah, thanks, sweetie.
Wait, that's the conversation you had with a woman last night?
Yeah.
That's what you brought up as you cut a woman in the bathroom line.
Yeah, no, I didn't realize that was the same story.
You pissed her over the stall with your hard dick.
No, no, that's another pet peeve of mine.
No, I cannot.
Pissing all over the stall.
No, we're pissing on the toilet scene.
When I walk into a bathroom and there's pee on the toilet seat, I have to clean it up.
Yeah.
Because then whoever's behind me will think that I did that shit.
Yeah, same thing.
Wait, I swear you said this in an episode or later.
Probably with you.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
You have to repeat it.
But what do you do?
What do you do in a situation where there's just like fecal matter everywhere?
Oh, like the toilet scene.
You got to do this motion to the next person.
Yeah, no, I do.
Yeah, I do do that.
Bathroom Stall Pet Peeves00:15:51
Listen, listen.
It's really bad.
It looks really bad.
I don't know what this guy did.
I open the door and I see it and I go, oh my God.
You bring it with theatrics.
Okay, but he becomes a react streamer.
No one's in the bathroom.
You do that.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then you come out.
It's impossible to clean.
And then there's a person waiting.
I usually go, you don't want to go in there.
I didn't do it.
But you don't know.
You know what's crazy, though?
It's like, I've been into a bathroom after a sweet old lady or something.
And if there's fecal around, I'm still blaming her.
Oh, yeah.
Even if it's a sweet old lady, I'm like, wouldn't it almost be more likely if it was a sweet old lady?
Because they have a hard time controlling their mouths and all.
I'm so sorry.
But technically speaking.
Yeah, whoever came in before me, it's their fault.
She is right.
A lot of the folks that are elderly.
That's okay.
That's why they wear diapers.
Yes.
Yeah.
There's a lot of elderly folks that I have witnessed in restrooms or heard in restrooms that have some trouble.
Wait, why are you witnessing?
You mean like from the outside?
I'm a bicycle.
I'm not looking for it.
Austin.
Austin has a lot of public restrooms going on.
I go to a lot of public restrooms.
Not like for fun, but I tend to.
The way you say it, though, makes it seem like this is something you're looking out for.
No, no.
I have seen, which is, we've talked about this on the podcast before, but this is why music needs to be playing in restrooms.
Because like a silent.
Or in Japan where they play like the rain noises.
The rain noises.
I love that.
They've perfected public.
Yeah.
We have to do something because like silence is just like whatever.
So I'm just like, sometimes if I have to go, I'll just start whistling.
Yeah.
Okay, wait.
I gotta cover the noise.
As a member of Girly Pop Nation, two things.
One, love you so much.
You got something.
Oh my God.
How long has it been, Pokey?
I don't know.
I just see.
Oh, no.
It's right there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
It's been the whole episode.
It's not that bad.
Oh, my God.
It's been the whole episode.
Yeah, it's the cookies.
Oh, my God.
It's been the whole episode.
At least it was way up there wasn't noticeable.
It's going to show up on a story.
Oh my God.
All my TikToks.
Not the TikToks.
Because that's the only reason why he does his podcast.
No.
I do love his TikTok.
Those who have always been.
No, I do this podcast because it's a passion of mine.
Hey.
Be unashamed about it.
Yeah.
All right.
Fuck it.
Shameless.
I do this podcast because we make great money.
Period.
Patreon.com slash free round.
And because the people love me.
And the people, yeah, well, I mean, and the TikTok people especially love me.
Some of them do.
There's people that I do have haters.
I know it's a shock, but there's no people.
No, I do.
Oh, I definitely have haters.
Let me talk to them.
Yeah.
It's either me.
It's either Will doesn't have any haters.
I think all the cutie Cinderella fans hate us.
They hate us collectively.
Yeah, they hate us collectively.
Which is weird because I think they were like originally fans of mine or fans of Will as well, but then they became cutie fans and now they fucking hate us.
Yeah.
I love them for that.
Usually.
I think it's because they're like fair.
It's fair.
But it's because she's always bantering with you guys.
Yeah, we hate them too.
Yeah, and then, and it's funny because cutie will not tell them to dial it back.
No, she dies.
She effectively exit on.
Does that sound like cutie though?
Yeah.
Cutie's like, let's, let's fucking go.
Pokey, in fact, we are in the middle of a cutie react right now.
Yeah.
Like she's right now.
She's watching.
She's sitting in a chair.
She's going to be like, she's going to be sitting there like, yeah, it's true.
I hate those.
I hate them.
I've been thinking about this recently, though.
I am so impressed by Cutie's ability to just like hate.
Yeah.
Me too.
Impressive is a word I wouldn't use, but yeah.
But yes.
Okay.
But in a way where, like, even when people take her humor the wrong way, and they're like, oh my God, Cutie's a mean girl, which she's so not.
She's just funny.
Yeah, she's funny.
And she's got dry humor.
But even when people push back on that, she's going to keep doing it.
And I respect that.
Double down.
Treble down.
I really respect that.
No, she scares me.
She impresses me.
She does scare me.
She's very scared, lady.
As the leader of Girly Pop Nation, do you have any topics you wanted to talk about?
So the thing in your tooth was one.
And then the second thing I'll...
Yeah.
How long is that?
This is not what Girly Pop Nation is.
You got to give us a pop call drama story about.
You guys want popcorn.
Yes.
I can do that.
That's Girly Pop Nation.
I can do pop calls.
Oh, what's going on?
Have you guys been following the Bad Baby Alabama Baker drama?
No, but I kind of heard about it a little bit.
What's wrong with what's happening?
Really?
Wait, is it a baker in Alabama?
Bad Baby?
Who's Bad Baby?
Who's Alabama Baker?
I'll be honest, it does make sense.
It'd be weird if he was like from Kansas, but he called himself the Alabama Baker.
They're both girls.
Girls, let's start with one at a time.
What a misogynistic.
You guys know Bad Baby.
Catch me outside.
How about that?
Okay, I know Bad Baby.
Dr. Philip.
I liked her song, Gucci Flip Flocks, man.
She's come out with a new song, which kind of ties into that.
Yes, yes, yes.
Okay, and now there's Alabama Baker, which is Travis.
Oh, Barker, sorry.
Oh, my bad.
Okay.
Which is Travis Barker's daughter.
Travis Barker, drummer, married to Courtney.
Is her name Alabama?
Courtney?
Yes, Alabama Barker.
Thank you.
So, long story short, Bad Baby has a boyfriend, and they have an extremely not only complicated, but also abusive relationship, physically and otherwise, which we'll get into later on.
But apparently, her boyfriend perhaps hooked up with, got together with Alabama.
Oh.
And then Alabama, and Alabama and Bad Baby were friends.
And then Alabama started shading her, and Bad Baby started shading her.
And then, you know, initially it was a little bit just TikTok beef here and there.
She would say, I could get your, I got your man's, blah, blah, blah.
And then Bad Baby would say, he only hung out with you for one night because I hung out with another guy first.
And then, right, there's a bunch of TikTok.
Then Bad Baby drops.
I'm not going to lie, a pretty freaking good diss track.
Let me see.
It's pretty freaking good.
Yeah.
You guys should.
Yeah, I'm in.
This is what Girly Pop Nation lessons are all about.
You know, I thought it was some confectionery cook in Alabama.
Me too.
And alas, it's a music video.
It's going to get copyright strikes.
Yeah, that's fine.
It's fine.
You guys can decide whether or not to leave it in, but I think watching it for the context is awful.
No, no, no, no.
The other one.
Yep, yep.
This is the second one.
Oh, my God.
Two weeks ago.
Yeah, yeah.
It's the one before that.
Two weeks ago.
So I think it's a two weeks ago.
Yeah, Miss Whitman, I think, is the OG.
Sorry, can you pause for a moment?
She uses the Kanye to me.
I was just going to say she uses the soundtrack to Carnival, which is a Kanye West song.
Oh.
Callback to Alabama's father being married to a Kardashian.
Yes, it'd be his uncle.
She's a Kendrick of our generation.
Yeah, I just the joke.
Oh my dick like cognitive.
That stanky pussy got you kicked out the Kardashian house.
You hit my DM like no more this long you tapping out.
I go rehear with this flow, bitch.
I'm blacking out.
No, you not a model.
Get that flow right better than lotto.
You ugly with no makeup for some beach, you fucking Jacob.
How many times I got to tear these holes?
I've been my bitch.
This is the cash me outside, girl.
Yeah.
Yes.
She looks so different.
Yes, she got a lot of work done.
She's the only fan.
She became an OnlyFans model the day she turned 18 and made millions of dollars, which says a lot about how fucking disgusting dudes are in general.
That's not like a colloquialism or paraphrasing.
It was the day she turned 18.
Yeah, wait.
No, I'm 18.
What's up to me right now?
Yeah.
There's also the famous like fake DJ Academics tweet, which I've you can pull that up, Marge, if you want.
It wasn't actually DJ Academics, but it does sound a lot like something he would tweet.
Soldier's boy cheek.
Dye your hair like me.
We're a bitch, not me.
They fucked you back to back to back.
That could never be me.
Ain't speaking facts, she made me laugh.
I call her Marlow Wayne.
Them NFL boys ready to train on you.
Now you want a team.
How you rich got a thousand bodies?
Ain't nobody nothing to drink.
I'll pay the role to be your friend to meet the smoke out.
Oh my God.
Damn, Alabama.
You really dumb enough to think I'd tell you anything, you dumb dirty hoe.
I wouldn't tell you what color socks I got on.
Yeah.
Wow.
But guys, there's so many details here to really dig into.
For starters, did you notice the drummer was wearing a beanie and kind of looked like Travis Barker?
Okay, one.
Wow.
Two, a line that's been going very viral on TikTok.
Pardon my language.
She says, you suck the dick straight out my ass.
Who got the upper hand?
Which is an impressive way to flip.
Like, oh, you got my money.
The visual of that.
She's, you know, right after she did anal.
Wow.
That's crazy.
Yeah, it's true.
Wow.
Wow.
No, but I mean an incredible analysis.
I'm just saying.
Okay, but you're not going to have to do the biggest ones.
Did you guys know she had cancer?
Like, might still have.
Like, she's.
I did not know that.
Yes.
She had cancer.
She was in chemo for a minute.
Oh, my God.
And it was like she was talking about her chemo, and then she was talking about and doing this.
So I'm like, damn, girl, you're dealing with a lot.
So her boyfriend cheated on her while she had blood cancer?
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, correct me if I'm wrong.
Well, it depends on the blood cancer, but I think they can.
There's some, depending on the blood cancer, they can be pretty treatable.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Thanks for the analysis.
That was even better than what I was saying about the anal thing.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then this is the second video that she's going to be okay.
Thank you, Dr. This is the second video that came out.
Or, no, sorry.
I think Alabama Berkeley.
There's a first one, but there's a second one.
I don't think Alabama Barker's come out with anything.
Alabama Barker has not replied to her?
Not yet.
She keeps alluding to coming out with the song, but we have not heard it yet.
Does Alabama Barker have an OnlyFans 2?
I don't think so.
Okay.
Well, you know, she comes from money.
So the specific lyric in question, by the way, I think she called, wait, did she call her a cracker?
Oh, that's why this was on the timeline.
I was wondering.
So, yeah, the controversy is.
That's what went on your tunnel.
Yeah, that's what I saw.
Because, you know, as you guys know, I also am an anti-white racist who's used the slur before and got banned off Twitch for it.
We do recall.
What?
We do recall.
Yeah.
I came from the past.
So it's weird.
Nabisco also gave me the past.
But it's weird that that would be in that entire video.
That's what people lasered in on where they're like, why is she using the slur?
It's like, well, first of all, she's white.
I think.
And also, like, cracker white.
So I think if there's like a person who could use the term cracker, bad baby is.
Did you just put a soft A on it, bro?
Come on.
Crack out my hair.
Thank you.
God damn.
Yeah.
Come on.
I find that deeply offensive.
I gave you the past.
You don't have to fucking celebrate.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
You give me the past.
I say it all the time.
I'm not going to be able to show up at the country club after this.
Come on, man.
Good thing we can keep saying that slur behind the paywall at patreon.com/slash fear because our time here is coming to a close before we go.
Thank you.
Wait, but there's more.
Oh, yes.
We'll unpack it up behind the paywall.
But, Pokey, we need you to give a shout out to whatever you've got going on.
Well, she's got the most fabulous pod.
I know.
That's what I'm saying.
Please do check out the Sweet and Sour podcast with Letty Teachu.
I love her to death.
Who's sweet?
Who's sour?
Who do you think?
Why are you?
I just want to.
Come on.
I want to hear him first.
I don't want to let him off the hook.
You guys are both sweet.
Good answer.
No one is sour answer for real.
No one is sour.
Sweet answer for real.
Oh, it's literally sour.
Wrong.
What do you guys think?
I think he's you're here.
We can't say it to your face.
Say what to my face.
Nothing.
You're definitely the sweet one.
You're definitely the sweet one.
I don't think you're sour.
You're the sweet one.
You had the best delivery on that.
I'll agree though.
What?
I thought I was convincing.
Listen, I think everyone can be a little sweet and sour.
I was just going to say that.
It's the duality of man.
Exactly.
But in this case, woman.
Oh.
Yes.
So suddenly.
It was right there.
Some JZ fans are going to eat me a lot.
The duality of man in a female podcast.
Some days I'm sweet, but if it's my luteal phase, I'm definitely the sour one.
Which is two weeks out of the fucking month.
Yeah.
No, it's just a week leading up to the period.
But also on your period, it's such a good thing.
But that's too sour, I totally get what you're saying.
Yeah, it's like the pre-period.
It's like the pre-season.
And then you got to fucking play the season.
Did you just compare a woman's menstrual cycle to the football season?
Because that is the least good thing you've ever done.
As a gay man, women menstruating.
That's like the NFL.
I'll tell you, you got your quarterback.
That's the ovaries.
And then the labi is your offensive lineman.
And when they are really clicking, you know, you got three-second drop back, six inches to the cervix.
I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
Oh, my.
Okay, yeah, sweet and sour podcast.
Sweet and sour podcast.
Anything else you want to plug?
No, but I didn't finish the bad baby story if I could please.
Oh, really quickly.
The reason I wanted to bring this up is because, okay, for starters, it's kind of sad to see two women pitted so intensely against each other.
Yeah.
You're ugly.
I'm with your man.
The music's kind of heat a little bit.
But it's a little bit sad.
But now Bad Baby seems to be doing like streams and PR interviews and things with the like.
And something else that kind of frightens me is she's been talking more about her relationship with her boyfriend and how they are both very physically abusive.
And I think this all being, it's so viral on TikTok right now that I worry it's kind of normalizing toxic relationships.
Anyways, that was my Girly Pop Nation.
Exciting Film Stunts And Drama00:03:41
That's a good bow on that.
Yeah.
Thank you.
I love that.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, Pokey.
Anything you guys want to shout out?
I want to shout out your clothing because I wore your hoodie and your pants in Japan.
It is not only incredibly fashionable.
Can people still buy it?
No, but it's so exciting.
Get fucked, idiots.
You missed out.
I'm so glad you liked it.
That's all that matters to me.
I had one more thing to say.
Please.
Will and I, I got the opportunity.
I got invited to host the red carpet at the Glad Awards.
Yes.
Oh, I saw that.
Yeah.
Wait, this episode's going to go long because we have one more topic we have to talk about.
Okay.
Okay.
Sorry.
Okay.
So I got invited by GLAD.
They reached out to me and they asked if I would host.
What's Glad?
It's an LGBTQ charity.
But anyway, I was like, Will, we got to do it together.
Yeah.
Are you going to?
Oh, yeah.
We're going to get it.
So Will and I, we're going to get an outfit and we're going to interview gay celebrities.
I might get to meet someone I'm a huge fan of.
Who?
Sidney Sweeney.
Sydney Sweeney.
Yes.
Wait, she ain't even gay.
Why is she getting celebrated?
What do you mean?
She's supporting.
Yeah, she's an ally.
She's an ally for me to fucking support her.
You know who's going to be there that I'm really excited about?
And I need you guys' opinion on this, but Cooper Koch.
Ally.
Who's that?
Cooper Koch.
I want to ask him about.
Who's Cooper Koch?
He's in Monsters.
The guy with his pen.
Remember his penis?
I don't.
Yeah.
I want to ask him if it was really his penis.
Yeah.
I want to ask him like.
Handsome man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I wanted to ask him like how it came to be.
Anyway, okay.
One more topic.
Austin and I, we film a lot of great stuff together.
This is a bonus topic.
I know we're going long, but this has to be in the main episode.
We film a lot of exciting stuff together.
We recently, I can't say for what, but we did a long segment of stunt work for a film promo.
Oh, that's exciting.
And Austin was fabulous for his first stunt work.
Was he shirtless?
No, he wasn't shirtless, but he did blocking broken bottles, throwing a fake cinder block.
Really good until the end of the day.
Yes.
When he had to throw an elbow.
Yes.
And he kept hitting this poor stunt man in the face no less than six or seven times.
Well, I kept having to throw an elbow.
And so basically the scene was, I don't know if, can I describe the scene?
You can describe the scene.
The scene was I have to come in and headbutt this guy and then throw an elbow and then kick him into the wall, right?
But I kept.
Well, the stunt man, when you throw something, he has to go the opposite direction to sell it.
And Austin kept getting very like he didn't know where the elbow was going.
He was getting creative when he shouldn't have.
Yeah, he sometimes he'd throw it with the left.
Sometimes he'd come backwards with the right.
And he was just like, I was just eye clocking.
Oh, so he just kept leaning into it on accident.
Yeah.
Getting smashed.
I just kept hitting him.
And I mean, I think we got the shot.
With that, like, there was like five takes where he would hit him and he'd go, ah, geez, right?
And then you would stop.
Yeah, no.
So you ruined the show.
You got to just roll with it.
Like, he's rolling with the punches.
Literally.
So you just pummeled this man with your elbow for no reason so hard that the director was like, do we want to bring in Austin stunt double for this scene?
Yeah.
They thought about bringing in my stunt devil.
Yeah.
But I mean, look.
Other than that, he was flawless.
Yeah.
It was just the elbow.
Yeah, it was tough.
But I was better at, I mean, my acting was a little, you know.
No, the acting was good.
It was better this time.
Yeah.
You know, because we didn't have a script.
But anyway, that's it for the episode, ladies and gentlemen.
Stunt Doubles And Acting Takes00:01:10
We'll see you soon, guys.
Yes.
Thank you to Pokemon.
Thank you, guys.
It's so nice being with you guys.
I don't know.
It feels like three big brothers that will protect me.
Yeah, for sure.
And I get to be Girly Pop Nation tell you guys about TikTok TV.
But what we know is you don't need anybody to protect you.
Tell them.
That's right.
Yeah, because you're not.
But I would like it.
We will protect you.
We will if you want to.
We know that our job is not necessary.
That's right.
We'll see you on the Patreon.
Fearand desk.
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Slash fear and does alcohol do that to your brain where you just can't speak?
Your invitation to things is like, hey, I have uh, Schmorgesborg is playing at Glorpglorp and we're just gonna fucking do.
Schmorgesborg is playing at Glorpglorp, I invited him to Coachella.
Is this guy for fucking real?
Yeah, exactly the most recognized, Recognized festival in the United States, and you named it an alien name.
Like I was taking you to a fork in a microwave for an hour and listening to it.
Yeah.
This isn't lunatic shit.
I think everybody in Los Angeles goes to this fucking concert.