Tara Yummy joins Austin and Will to dissect her viral "Fatherless Behavior" merchandise, Heathrow detention over a grenade-shaped cologne, and the "Bop House" OnlyFans collective featuring virgin creator Sophie Rain. The trio debates generational TikTok culture, shares chaotic adolescent sexual anecdotes involving bananas and pocket pussies, and explores niche fashion interests like Victorian trench coats. Ultimately, the episode reveals how internet subcultures blur lines between humor, identity, and explicit content while highlighting the hosts' evolving personal brands. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
|
Time
Text
Blushing On Air00:14:46
Whoa, that's crazy.
Oh my god.
You're performing?
You're blushing.
It is.
I've never seen you blush.
Test test.
Ready?
Ladies and gentlemen.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
You thought you were going to do the introduction.
You don't get to do the introduction.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys, girls, and bees, we have a really special episode of the Fear Amp podcast.
We got some of the crew back.
And also, you might have noticed that we have a very special guest here today.
Joining us is Tara Yummy.
Thank you.
Welcome to the podcast, Tara.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for having me.
I'm super stoked to have Tara here.
I said your name correctly.
I did not mess it up.
We just actually shot her sequence, her show on YouTube right before this.
And you messed your name up?
Well, it's because.
Don't say ESL.
Don't say English is a second language.
I use that one too sometimes.
Did you know that English is a second language?
Yeah.
Incredible.
She did.
Because unlike you, she knows the excuse.
Yeah.
Unlike that, yes.
But also, unlike you, she did her research.
You've known me for what, a decade almost.
And you still are shoked by this.
No, I've known for a long time.
I mean, I've heard him speak Turkish, very good at speaking Turkish and English.
But I'm just like, my God, you know, brilliant English speaker.
Yeah.
No, I was just, I was just, I always compliment him on his ability to speak English.
It just comes across a little racist when he says something like that.
Close your eyes.
Do you ever hear a gay Donald Trump?
Yeah.
He's very good at speaking English.
No, no, I'm inside English.
I'm not racist.
I'm not racist.
I'm actually Lebanese.
I am.
I'm a Middle Eastern.
Yeah, you wouldn't.
I missed that.
Would you be able to tell?
No, maybe I'm racist for you.
Well, see, I mean, we're all maybe a little bit.
Okay.
I missed it.
I'm just saying.
Yeah, Tara, I took a week off.
So I worked the whole month.
What I do is I work a month and I go take a vacation.
Okay, first.
That's great.
Which is the gayest thing anyone's ever done.
That's number one.
I'm proud of them.
Number two.
What he says, when he says he's like working hard or working in general, the collective total of hours worked for Austin every month is like, you know, give or take, what, seven hours?
Yeah.
I mean, look, there's a lot of, there's a lot of.
I'm not judging.
Period.
I like that you take a vacation.
I wish I did that.
There's a lot of, there's like a lot of pre-production, you know, that goes into it.
They don't see a lot of the behind the scenes work.
I miss her, a little bit of estrogen on the set.
And I miss.
I miss her gay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You ham it up when you're when you're with us.
You're like, oh, go Vikings.
You get a little bit of estrogen on set.
There's some periods of the money.
You hit the narrow.
I was so excited that you were coming on the set because we have been missing a feminine energy.
Right.
We really have.
You know, and it gets really homophobic when there's no women here.
Yes.
That's horrible.
No.
You want to give an example?
Well, I mean, like an OSHA violation.
We can do better.
Well, they cut out most of the moments.
You know what I mean?
So most of the moments, I mean, there are several different hate crimes.
As I know.
As I know is a lie because we keep those going.
If I hit him with a really good one, that's staying in.
They would never get cut.
Do you have a big gay following?
I think so.
I didn't think I did.
And then I did a, I like dropped a line with Zoomies and I did a meet and greet.
And most of them were gay men.
Well, not most, but like it was like girls and then gay men.
A line of zoomies.
Explain that to me.
A line like.
No, no, no.
What are Zoomies?
Like the store?
Oh, got it.
It's not like a new word for cocaine, I promise.
You're missing us.
I'm sorry.
You're in Buddha's runa star.
She's going to replace skater.
Zoomies, like Pac Sun, like it's like a skater.
Pac Sun.
Yeah.
You don't know Zoomies?
It's like Tilly's.
No, he does.
He just didn't remember.
He just didn't understand.
Oh no.
I'm just wondering.
He's 27.
That's like your time Zoomies now.
Okay.
Oh, there it is.
Oh my God.
It's those little baby tees.
They have little small ones on them.
Wait, I need one.
Do you want one?
Yes.
Do you wear little baby tees like crop tops?
Not often, but I have some friends.
I do have some friends that wear baby tees.
Oh, no, yeah, sure.
Whichever one you want.
Yeah, this is baby tees are apparently popping.
The reason why I know about it is because my merchandise people, Will's merchandise people are the same company, which I have some little drama about that as well.
I'm going to talk about in a second.
But they were telling me they want to do baby tees for the new line of merch that we put out.
Well, for women, but also men can wear them.
No, no, men should.
I think baby tees for straight men.
Yeah, baby tees on men look great.
I haven't worn them that much, but I think I'll, you know.
Which one do you think?
Can we pull that up?
Which one do you think resonates the most?
Which one do you want?
Let's see.
Flirting is my day job.
Okay.
That one says fatherless behavior.
Except my dad loves me.
Okay.
I do like the fatherless behavior one.
Are these the three?
Yeah.
Okay, let's see.
Rock stars.
Ruin my life.
Ruin my life.
Yeah.
Fatherless behavior.
I think fatherless behavior matches me the most, even though I do have a good father.
Well, that's what it says.
Except my dad loves me.
That's what it says on the model.
I didn't even.
No, it says except my dad loves me.
Oh, okay.
That's definitely me.
She was friends.
But I do feel like I have fatherless behavior sometimes.
Yeah, I get it.
Yeah.
You know?
Oh, yeah.
You know how I knew when I asked you, do you have a good gay following?
It was almost rhetorical because I knew.
And can I tell you how I knew?
Yeah, I'd love to know.
I was in London and I woke up in the morning when we found out you were coming on the podcast.
When we knew.
When we found, well, you know, through, you know.
It feels like you're pregnant with me.
When we knew what you're expecting.
So I woke up and they had, we said, oh, Tara's coming on the podcast on Sunday.
And I was in London and I wake up next to a man and I said to him, he happened to be gay.
Right.
And he was having an existential crisis because he wasn't gay.
Yeah.
So anyway, so he's like, oh my God.
Really?
Oh, my God.
You need to be on the next flight.
Yeah.
That makes me so happy.
I also did not realize at the time, I jokingly said, we have to find a new gay because Austin took a two-week sabbatical because that's what happens.
It's like, dude, it's like when you, when you...
Well, it's like something very gay.
Yeah.
We're telling what you were doing.
Yeah.
I went to a RuneScape convention.
Do you know what RuneScape?
No, it's.
It's a gaming convention.
Oh.
Yeah.
RuneScape.
It's about the same age as Zoomies.
Yeah, it's about the same age as you, actually.
It literally came out either when you were first, when you were born or iconic.
I think it's literally 2000.
2001.
Okay.
You were one.
I was one.
Yeah.
So that's how old this fucking game is.
And he used to play.
Okay, so I went out.
The convention was one week.
And then I was like, I need a weekend at the gay bars.
So I extended my trip by another week.
I don't think I've ever been to the gay bars in London.
They're good.
Are there a lot of them?
Yeah.
Are they in Soho?
There's some in Soho.
There's some like in the bank area.
I don't know where it was, but I just went there.
And they're fun.
A lot of dancing.
Cool.
A lot of gay people.
It was fun.
Do you like a good gay bar?
I love.
I love any kind of bar, club, scene, anything with dancing, I'll do.
Okay, I love that.
Okay.
That's good.
That's really good.
That's good.
Yeah, she throws parties.
Oh, my God.
Why haven't I been in?
I mean, you know what?
You're more than invited.
Maybe I'm invited to the business.
You never invited me to go to parties.
I have been invited.
I am 33 years old.
I go to sleep by the time.
There's people of all ages.
Yeah, but by the time you're throwing the podcast, I'm sleeping.
No, like 9:30, you'd be sleeping.
I fell asleep at every dinner in Japan.
Everything's for children.
She's waking up at 4 a.m. to stream American time.
Brother, I'm just telling her.
Okay, that's different.
I go to bed.
I go to bed at around 10 so that I can be.
But you'd make it for 30 minutes at the party.
Yeah.
But then it's like, you know, I'm just there for 30 minutes and it's like a whole car ride there.
There's an expectation.
They have to drain the older people.
No, no.
But that's just like, that's what's going on in my life.
Every once in a while, he cuts loose.
I do.
And then he's humble.
If they come, if you guys come, will you come to the next one?
Really?
For sure.
I would definitely.
Okay, good.
I'll be expecting you.
Yeah, I'm on the side.
I'll be expecting you.
No, no, no.
You guys are obviously knowing to invite you.
No, we're the party anyway.
I mean, he's deadweight most of the time.
It's true.
I'm just kidding.
I'm dead weight.
I cut loose.
I went to Stavi's show on Friday night.
Nice.
You know, Stavros?
Stavros.
Stand-up comedian.
He's a good friend of mine and a good friend of all of ours, actually, a friend of the show.
He's a very famous comedian now.
And I say this because when I was pulling up to the parking lot, he closed out the Orpheum, the Orpheum Theater.
And it's a fairly sizable place.
I mean, he didn't sell out, but it was like pretty much maxed out.
He's a stadium comic now.
And 100%.
But what I saw when I drove into the parking lot is what made me go, oh my God, you're like actually kind of famous now.
It's weird.
There were couples that were attending, which shocked me.
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
Like, you know, boyfriend, girlfriend.
Like, couples go to comedy.
I know, but it's like Stavros is not like, it's more so, the couples are basically dudes bringing their girlfriends to be like, this is the fucking piece of shit that I listen to for every week.
You know, his style of comedy is very come town spectrum, I guess.
So going from going from a podcast called Come Town to, you know, being like a normie comic is crazy.
We're losing Tara.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I'm so sorry.
We also have severe ADHD.
Yeah, that's okay.
She knows.
I was all over the place when we're in her car.
Yeah.
What?
What is that?
We did a show.
That came out really good.
We did our show.
Getting stuck.
Stuck in a car.
Stuck in a car.
I love that.
Thank you.
Stuck in a car with Tara, and there were people walking by, and I was just like, always fucking looking around.
It's not good.
Do you drive around during that show?
No, we park.
We're safe.
That's what I thought, too, initially.
Wait, that would add a cool dimension to it.
There are people who I let drive my car if they ask.
Very few have driven the car.
Okay.
Oh.
He's a terrible driver anyway.
You wouldn't have dropped.
I think three people have driven my car.
Who's in your car?
Binny Hacker.
Okay.
Binny is a Greek.
So hot.
Grecian God.
So gorgeous.
He's so hot.
He's so gorgeous.
Ross Lynch.
Don't know who that guy is.
Oh, that was, that was like a good.
Okay.
That comes out tomorrow.
Who's Ross Lynch?
Ross Lynch.
He's a famous guy on Texas.
He doesn't know.
No, you don't know.
No, no, no.
What kind of content does this?
Okay, I see him.
Do you know him because he takes a shirt off on stage?
Wait, yes.
Yeah.
I see him on stage.
Give him up.
Oh, sorry.
No, anything.
That's what he's known for.
He's a musician.
Yeah.
But he was.
He's shirtless a lot.
And there's people who are.
He was in the Choice Savannah video.
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
Rush.
Yeah.
No.
Oh, shit.
Do you want to know who Ross Lynch is old?
He was on Disney Channel.
That's how he started.
He was in Austin and Alley and Lake Chain Beach movie.
Got it.
And then my friend Rob Rausch drove my car.
Oh, okay.
Who's that?
Oh, are you kidding me?
Rob?
Yeah.
Stop.
You know?
Yeah.
From where?
From your show.
He was on Love Island.
Yeah, I knew that.
I was just testing.
He did not know any of that.
He's a big island.
He's lying to you.
He doesn't know.
You know Vinny, though.
Oh, yeah.
No, Vinny and I were in 100 years together.
We knew we were in an order together.
We know Vinny because he's very hot.
That's how I know him.
He was the first person to ever be in. my series.
Yeah.
He started it.
Yeah, he's an incredibly attractive man.
Yeah.
I don't like it.
Why?
I don't like it when dudes are that hot.
Why?
You're one of them.
No, but he's also very bullshit.
The frustrating thing about Vinny Hacker is like he's got his things that he's good at.
Vinny is good at just everything.
Everything.
Okay, why don't you be his best friend?
I mean, he's offered.
I think the age difference.
I think the age difference is too much.
That is a problematic age gap best friend.
It is.
It is a problematic friendship age gap.
People would think I'm his older brother or his father or something.
You do have a resemblance.
No, whoa.
That's crazy.
Oh, my God.
You're blushing.
It is.
I've ever seen you blush.
Hey, Will.
You got some money, don't you?
Oh, I have plenty of money.
Credit cards, debit cards?
They're everywhere.
Oh, Austin.
They're bursting out of my trousers.
Well, Will, Will, Will, Will.
You need to get yourself a place to put them.
Oh?
How about a Ridge wallet?
What?
With over 50 colors and styles.
Ridge wallet isn't just functional, Will.
It's personal.
But, Austin, I have 12 cards.
You have 12 cards?
Yes.
Wow.
That's a lot of cards.
Could it expand to hold all those cards?
Of course it can, Will.
It holds one to 12 cards.
Oh, yes, just a perfect amount because you have 12 cards.
Oh, my gosh.
But RFID scanners are everywhere.
Will it protect me from that?
Oh, Will, that's not to worry.
They're RFID blocking.
What?
But what happens if my rowdy lifestyle ends up breaking them?
Yeah, doesn't matter because it's backed by a lifetime guarantee.
I know.
I know.
Right now, Ridge is having their once-a-year anniversary sale.
Get up to 40% off at ridge.com slash fear.
Just head to ridge.com slash fear to see their biggest sale of the year.
After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them.
Please support our show and tell them our show sent you.
One of the coolest coolest moments that I experienced with Vinny is we were at, we were over the summer, we did like a Ludwig was hosting this competitive games thing.
And somehow, Vinny and I ended up with our shirts off.
Somehow.
RFID Blocking Shirts00:09:04
And I was like, whoa, hold on, come on, guys.
Somehow.
No, no, it was platonic.
Right.
Wait, Austin, somehow you were doing a full day of athletic competition.
And Vinny took his shirt off for volleyball.
No, but then my shirt came off.
I don't know how to do it.
Did you make it sound like you guys were just in a room together?
No, no, no.
Anyway, something.
No, no, no.
Is this happening?
No, no, no.
Something.
I don't know how it happened, but it was a him and I thing because we were the only ones with our shirts off.
And then he's like, we got to get a photo.
And I was like, oh my God, are you kidding me?
Come on.
You know?
So we get a photo and then he posts it on his story.
And I'm like, oh, my God, that was such a big number.
I was like, wow.
That was your story.
That was it.
I liked it.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Thank you.
But you know what that meant.
You see, she nails.
See, this is why we needed.
We needed a girl on the podcast because you get it.
They didn't get it.
It went right over their heads.
I get it.
You knew.
Shirtless, photo, post story moment.
She's much more supportive than QD is.
Yes.
Wait, but I get it.
You get it.
It's exciting.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
A hot guy posted with me on their story with your shirt off.
I'd be like, thank you.
Are you kidding me right now?
Yeah, if you both had your shirt off, it'd be like, oh my God.
I mean, especially if I ask you very weird, especially if there's boobs and hats.
There was some drama that I wanted to address initially with Will.
This is a rare moment.
Okay.
So, as I alluded to earlier, we have the same merchandise company.
Yeah.
Warren James.
Sure.
And Will's merch is coming out soon.
It's out.
Oh, it's out already?
It's out.
Wait, since last night we started.
Oh, it started last night.
You would know that if you ever.
I know.
Okay.
Well, I'm going to explain to you why.
That's the drama, actually.
No, that's not the drama.
That's the drama.
The drama is we have the same like photographers, same team.
And apparently, Will said, I stole his shit, his uh vibes and his style.
For sure.
That's what you said to them.
100%.
Bullshit.
100%.
That is the most insane thing I've ever heard.
But go ahead, explain.
Say your piece.
Say your piece.
Say your piece, Will.
My peace.
Look at your style timeline.
You went from wearing like plaid on like Hawaiian Paisley to dressing like me.
We don't talk, first of all, no, I don't dress like you.
Secondly, we don't talk about the COVID years.
That is.
They were rough, weren't they?
That was rough.
That was different.
That was.
He thinks he was ugly during the COVID years.
I see.
No, I definitely don't.
Can we show a really bad photo?
He wasn't ugly, but he definitely.
I gave up.
I'll be honest.
Yeah.
Yeah, please.
Just look up Hassan Piker 2020.
Or no, not even 2020.
Whereas it's like 2021.
Images.
Long hair, so pale.
Oh, there's there.
It is.
There it is.
Boom.
Right there.
Far left.
There we go.
Okay, that doesn't count, though, because that was like a before and after photo.
Yeah, but that was the before.
That was the before photo.
I know, but I'm saying, like, if you want to see my style, it doesn't show.
It resonates.
I don't think that's.
Oh, it kind of.
I don't think that's bad.
You trailed off.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What is the why is it in Japan?
No, that's Chinese.
Well, yeah.
So what do you think, Tara?
I prefer your style now.
Yeah, no, it definitely has definitely improved.
I don't know why you're taking credit for it, but I complimented your style earlier today.
Listen, I would say that I didn't totally change your style, but I certainly influenced it.
In what way?
I taught you what was good.
This is insane.
Is it?
But it's okay.
You can take her.
Whenever you go shopping, who's with you?
Silently influencing from the background.
I can't go shopping with them, Tara.
Wait, why?
Because I walk out.
They're like, I can't go shop.
They buy too many expensive clothes.
And I'm cheap when it comes to clothing.
Okay.
So, like, I just can't go shopping.
Tara, he bought a show for our shirt for a big show in our industry called the Streamer Awards.
And then I was there.
Oh, well.
She was where I met you?
Yes, but this is like 20, like two years ago.
He bought a shirt, and very famously, he kept saying there was a smell.
Yeah.
And he smelled it to the event and then returned it after he wore it to be a bad.
I bought it.
I bought a well, this is why I can't go shopping with him.
Last time we went shopping, I bought it at the store.
I bought a $10,000 outfit for the Streamer Awards.
I can't go.
And I bought a shirt and it stunk.
I bought it like B.O. Ew.
And yes.
And one of the my worst nightmare is smelling like B.O.
Yeah.
It's my worst nightmare.
You told me every time.
And so I had, I wanted to, so I was telling everybody at the awards, I was like, how do I smell?
If you smell something, I want to let you know I just purchased this shirt and it smelled like it smelled like BO and I will be returning it.
I just want to let you know this is not my smell.
It's whoever tried it on before.
They tried to dry clean it.
Did you not notice the smell before you left the house?
No, I did.
And then I complained and then they dry cleaned it.
And it still smells well.
They got it out and then it started unraveling over the course of the event.
And so, yeah, eventually I had to change in.
I had a backup shirt that I changed into, and it was a whole drama.
Yeah, it was a whole drama.
So anyway, it was a whole lot.
Can't go shopping with them.
He's not allowed at the store.
They have a photo of him at the store.
Can't do it.
At the store that says, do not let this man in.
He is a menace.
Yeah.
Because he made a big fuss about the whole shirt situation and returned it.
I'm a little incredulous that you don't think I've had any influence on your style.
Of course you have.
Oh, that was easy.
Of course.
Where is your style influence from?
I don't know.
I always say if it's like if Marilyn Manson and Paris Helton had a baby, okay.
You know, it's like Y2K.
It's more black than paying.
Yes.
Yeah.
Like our era.
Yeah.
Like the time when we were trying things out.
This is not fashionable.
Around that time, though, I was wearing a lot of like really tall jerseys.
Oh, yeah.
Since Tim's.
I was huge.
I was getting Echo Unlimited.
Yeah, that's true.
That's what I was wearing.
No, I didn't do FUBU, but what's going on, Mom?
Oh, yeah.
She brought, she brought you guys gifts.
She's from the Streets.
From Turkey.
But also, what was I going to say?
We were talking about, oh, Echo Unlimited.
I had these insane dragon pants that like where the dragon would just go all the way from the bag.
It was embroidered.
And you have a good dragon in there.
Apparently, yeah, Echo Unlimited.
You know, those are in fashion again.
That's what I've heard.
That's what the kids are doing.
So, like, is your style like, what would you describe it as?
Like, in terms of like, man, Y2K girly.
Yeah, but like, is it gone?
No, no.
No, I don't concern myself.
I apologize.
Any kind of alternative, honestly.
I just have an eyebrower.
Alternative.
Yeah, I have an eyebrow piercing, so I think that's the one.
I love those.
Those are so cool.
See?
There you go.
That's popping.
I love those.
Yo, I'm popping off.
Those are awesome.
He's popping off.
Sometimes I'll put a little guy liner on every once in a while.
I don't know.
And I can't get it off.
That's the problem.
It takes forever.
So I put a makeup remover, maybe?
Well, I've tried that.
And it doesn't work.
I don't know.
I'm just like, you know, just dipping my eye in the.
Wait, wait, you dip your eye in it?
I don't know how to get it.
I feel like if I could get my eyeliner off this much.
Do you do it every day?
Do you guys have it?
Of course.
Yeah, I take it off every night.
I rarely wear makeup like in my videos.
I feel like it's just for more like stuff like this.
Makeup on.
Okay.
I take it off.
Well, I'll come to you for a recommendation.
Sure.
Yeah.
I mean, a Neutrogena wipe will really do it.
When I went to that Streamer Awards, I had guy liner on for like three days afterwards because I couldn't get it off.
I was like, that's what happened.
I was taking a towel and like just trying to get it off.
When Johnny and Jake did me up, they made me emo.
Yeah.
That didn't come off from my face either.
And I use like makeup removers.
That's what I use them.
That's so interesting.
And I think like the one that they use was just like crazy strong.
I don't know.
If it was Johnny's, it might have been waterproof.
Yeah.
I used like Neutrogena.
I used all the different kinds of makeup removers.
It didn't come off.
And I had the fake tattoos that also wouldn't come off after showering.
Mine don't come off either.
Yeah.
Well, those are real.
Yeah.
How many tattoos do you have?
18.
Wow.
That's cool.
I've never, I've never gotten one.
I think I'll get a tattoo, though, eventually.
Really?
I don't know.
Maybe just right here.
What do you think?
Sure.
Under your ribs.
I don't know.
That's like the most painful.
Okay, where's like a, I don't know.
I just want it to be sexy.
That's all.
Okay.
What are you going to get a tattoo off?
I don't know.
When is this?
I'm open to suggestions.
When did this come?
I don't know.
I just thought I saw your tattoos and said, wow, I think I'm going to get a tattoo.
Fake Tattoos That Stay00:08:29
Oh, I'm influential.
Yeah, very much.
He's trying so hard to be cool in front of you.
I think you're cool.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah, it's working.
This is what I'm talking about.
This is one of those hate crime moments.
He's going to keep doing it.
That's okay.
The more you feed into it, the more he's going to get this way.
Well, what would you get tattooed?
I don't know.
I just, I don't know, maybe like a skull and bones.
A skull and bone.
I don't know, like with a, I don't know, with like a, just a little, like on the teeth, just one, like one tooth that's just a product.
I don't even have a skull and see what I'm saying?
Like skull and bones and like one little tooth that's a pirate.
I feel like that's like a pirate tattoo.
No, but just like a little workshop.
All right.
Who has topics this week?
I do.
I have a lot of topics.
Give us a topic.
First and foremost, I have a story, too.
Before we get into the stories, before we get into the topics, Tara is now, you know, replacing Cutie Cinderella on the show.
It's not a big deal.
And as a present, she has brought us some cool stuff.
Chickpea cookies?
Oh, my God.
The first one is baklava, but it's like it's an Iranian Persian version of baklava, which has like, it's very rosy.
So you can try that.
What are you doing?
No, that's full.
Thank you so much.
Did you make this?
No.
I bought it from the Persian market.
Oh, did not make it.
I did not make it.
Could you imagine?
I thought, well, maybe her packaging is just.
Go ahead.
May I?
Yeah, of course.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
I'm excited.
Now, the baklava is alright.
It's not like the best, but this one is really good.
I really like it.
I'm surprised you like that one, Hassan.
I'm not like the biggest.
Maybe I'm just not a big sweets fan.
Maybe that's why.
And also, it weirds me out that it's made of chickpeas.
Will doesn't like sweets either.
I get chastised on the internet.
I don't like sweet because I'm not a sweet chick.
I like, I like a chip.
Give me a talkie.
Give me a humano.
Give me a Dorito.
Yes.
Give me goldfish.
I don't care.
Do you get chastised on the internet at all for this?
No.
Like, I'm very into sweet breakfast.
Oh, I don't like waffles or handkies.
As much as I like an egg frittata or like a thank you.
Yeah.
Everybody on the internet's like, you're no fun.
And I'm just like, I don't.
I'll do it, but I need something savory when you're.
That's what I'm saying.
Me too.
I will order like a salty breakfast and then like a hot pancake.
This is chickpea cookies.
You want to describe what they are?
Sure.
Yeah.
It's chickpea cookies.
And they usually usually come out during Persian New Year.
It's like in a week.
It's on the 20th.
So they have them right now at the Persian market.
And it's very like.
My mom is chiming in.
Hello.
I felt rude.
Introduced myself.
It's really good.
I've really powdery, though.
And then once your saliva hits it, it tastes like, it's almost like a peanut butter consistency.
It's insane.
Oh, wow.
It's very weird.
It tastes like the chickpea cookies.
It tastes like unkuraviya soup.
We have a type of cookie in turkey.
I know what that tastes like.
I know.
It's a cereal.
Fruit loops.
Fruit loops.
What?
It does taste like fruit loops.
No way.
Wow.
It's literally Fruit Loops.
Really?
That's so good.
Well, now when I think about them, maybe.
It is insane how close that is.
No, it's exactly like the milk and everything.
No, no, but it's not.
Let me try it.
Because if I've never, like, I've tried these every single year of my life.
Let me try it.
It's a hint.
I already think that's the thing that I've got to know all the fruit loops.
Exactly.
If I were to postmate Fruit Loops, you know what?
I will.
Oh, my God.
It does taste like the milk.
Oh, my God.
It's so good.
It's identical.
Aren't you on one?
Uncanning.
I'm bringing Fruit Loops in.
But do you see the consistency after?
It's like peanut butter in your mouth.
It was really good.
This is like a cup of tea.
This one's like a bomb.
In the behind the paywall.
Okay.
So, yeah.
Thank you, that's very nice of you.
Giving us these wonderful gifts.
I have some things that I want to talk about.
Well, I have a story.
You want to start off with your story?
Yeah, sure.
I'd love to tell it.
Oh, thank you.
Tell us about your airport story.
Is it did I?
You did.
Did I fuck it?
You did.
Shocking.
I talk about planes a lot.
We talked about this earlier, but anyway.
Yeah, he gave me.
Immediately started talking about planes.
I made fun of him.
And then he went on to describe to Tara how he.
What was the word you used that was really funny?
I said, I'm an aviation enthusiast.
Yeah, I like that.
And I really like airplanes and also.
No, I like something about the airports.
What did I say?
Something about the, I like the airport scene.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He said, I like the airport scene.
That's great.
So I almost got stuck in the UK.
I almost got arrested.
For what?
So I went through security and I put my bag through security.
And then I look at my bag and it's being detained, like sectioned off.
And they're all huddled around.
They're all chatting.
And I'm like, okay, you know, they're like, whose bag is this?
And I raise my hand.
They're like, we need to speak to you over there.
We need to speak to you over here.
And the security manager pulls me over and he said, sir, it's very serious.
We found something in your bag that we believe to be is very dangerous and you could be in some serious trouble.
I said, oh my God, what is it?
And they say, sir, we looked at our scan and we believe that you have packed a grenade in your bag.
And I went to interrupt the testing pod.
Hello, I'm Tara.
Nice to meet you.
Oh, my God.
Thank you so much.
Oh, it's amazing.
Okay.
Bracelets?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Oh, thank you so much.
Is this Turkish coffee?
Well, let me select first.
Oh, thank you so much.
Yeah, here, take it.
Take it, take it.
Take the whole thing.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Here, you choose first, Tara.
Oh, no, you guys go ahead.
It's your guys' show.
For the audio listeners, my mom just came in and dropped a bomb in here with five Turkish coffees.
Wait, what is happening?
Hold on.
Can you get the door?
I don't know.
We are off the rails.
I'm paralyzed unless you select.
No, no, you guys go ahead, please.
I don't mind.
Yeah, sure.
Thank you.
I'm doing the purple.
This is going to be very.
Thank you.
Yeah, my mom dropped a bomb of five Turkish coffees served on a copper platter with some like kind of sesame treat thing that I don't even know what it is, but it's a Turkish thing, I think.
And also gifts in the form of prayer beads.
That's amazing.
You don't count it like a rosary?
You do.
It's amazing coffee.
My lord.
This is a Turkish coffee.
Did you choose one?
I don't mind.
I'll just any of them.
Thank you.
I have to.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
What is that?
Oh, it's just Turkish Libra.
It has sesame on the album.
It's beautiful.
Wow.
Wow.
This is beautiful.
This is so pretty.
Did somebody pray before this?
Or do we pray with it?
Or what does it mean by prayer beads?
No, it doesn't come pre-prayed.
A rosary usually will say.
I know.
Okay.
It's hell Marian.
Okay.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
It reminds me my mom.
Yes.
She loves being a host.
Austin Show, do you know that I went to go see Luka Donchik and the Lakers play?
No, I did.
How did you find your tickets, Will?
Well, I'll tell you, I use SeatGeek.
Really?
That's right.
Well, Seat Geek has over 28 million downloads and it's the number one rated ticketing app.
And to celebrate the new year, SeatGeek gave me a special hookup where anyone can use our code Fear10 for 10% off their next per ticket purchase on SeatGeek.
So if you've been waiting to go see a show, sporting event, or other?
10% off using SeatGeek now.
SeatGeek has your back.
Each ticket is rated on a scale of one to 10, so you know you're getting a good deal.
So look for the green dots.
Green means a bargain.
Red means you're getting fucked.
Yeah.
That's right.
So what are you waiting for, everybody out there who wanted to buy tickets and go to some sort of event?
TSA Security Stop00:05:46
Take out your phone, open the SeatGeek app, and add code FEAR10 to your account to make sure you get 10% off your next set of tickets.
That's code FEAR10 for 10% off.
Any tickets on SeatGeek?
Just click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later.
Thank you, SeatGeek.
So anyway.
Can I guess what it is?
Your grenade?
Don't.
I want to get to it.
I know you're going to guess right.
So he says, sir, this is very serious.
We found a grenade in your bag.
And I said, a grenade?
What do you mean a grenade?
Yeah.
And I went, oh my God, my cologne.
Yeah.
So I have a cologne.
I have Spice Bomb by Victor Rolf that is shaped like a grenade.
You brought it to an airport.
And I, yeah, I brought it through security.
I said, but you have it before, right?
Well, in the United States, I go through every week with a grenade in my bag, and it must just be a normal American thing.
Yeah, they're like, oh, this is checking a member, right, brother.
And they're like, sir, we have to don't do this again.
That is crazy.
Yeah.
That they actually thought it was a grenade and the reaction was, we have a problem.
That's so reddish.
Yeah, they didn't immediately tase you.
No, they, they, they, well, they still had to search everything.
Right.
So there they are taking out the entire, you know, everything out of the bag, my underwear, everything is spread all over Heathrow Airport.
And everything is spread?
Well, I mean, not everything.
But, um, but yeah, so yeah, it was.
That's the most Lebanese you've ever been.
Really?
Yeah.
Wait, with getting stopped at the airport?
Yeah.
I get stopped all the time, too.
There you go.
Do you?
All the time.
Yeah.
Really?
Yes.
Maybe not.
My looks, my last name, maybe.
What do they stop?
Like, what, what happened?
TSA.
They just pulled me aside for random selection.
All the time.
Really?
Yeah.
Do you get stopped a lot, Hassan?
His name's Hassan.
Yes.
I just, I've never been stopped.
Well, yes.
I thought it was like, there's a viral clip that Tara has seen as well of me like coming to that realization that it's actually not normal, because I genuinely thought like bomb swabbing you every time you go really, mine's not every time, but it happens quite often where they randomly select me back in the day.
It used to be every single time I passed through the uh, you know full body scan.
They would always stop me, take me to the side and then uh, GSR swab me.
Unlucky that's what I thought I, I So I didn't even think I was unlucky.
I just thought like, oh, it's normal.
Like it just happens like a lot.
And even when we were coming back from Japan, they would like pull me to the side after I passed through the extra season.
You go in that little white room.
What is the worst experience you've ever had?
When I was purchasing clear, sorry to interrupt you.
I was purchasing clear and they asked me a bunch of questions.
Keep going.
Sorry.
I made sure.
Yeah.
Wait.
Hold on.
Back to your story.
TSA.
It was when I was purchasing clear.
They made a whole fuss about it and asked me if I knew like certain people.
And I was like, what do you think?
I just want to buy clear.
Knew certain people.
They're like, do you know these people?
And it was like, clearly like mug shots and stuff.
And I was like very confused.
The FBI is most wanted.
I don't know.
I don't know what it was, but it was scared to me.
They have a phone picture of Kim Joe.
Yeah, they have Saddam Hussein on there.
He's dead, but it doesn't matter.
Do you know him?
What confused me was because it was really Middle Eastern names.
And then they gave me like, and then it took me to a machine, like the clear machine.
And in the clear machine, they asked me, they even asked me if I knew my dad.
Like they asked me for my dad's name.
And I was like, oh, yes, but my dad doesn't have clear.
So I'm like, I was confused.
Maybe in their system.
My dad's my dad.
I don't know.
Well, they will ask you certain questions based on like, if it to prove that you know it's you okay, I think.
But not, their FBI freaks me out, dude.
Yeah, not on the FBI's most.
But they'll ask me like, were you ever associated with this drug?
Yes yes yes, were you?
Uh, do you know this person?
Do you have a car insured in this with this company?
Yeah yeah, it's like yeah, the weird, yeah it's.
I'll tell you guys this part, uh, I finally got my TSA clearance and it took years.
Like I uh, I applied for it many years ago right, and for some reason, they just held it back, don't know why, some reason.
I don't know what.
It is okay, I'm not making any, I'm not making any speculations okay, but I got it back and when I finally did my like uh my, my interview to get the global entry TSA precheck clearance um, they literally brought up everything, including the fact that like, including my arrests, like not even prosecuted, just like arrests, like anytime I've been arrested, they just like, how many times have you been arrested?
Well, it doesn't matter okay, the fact, that is the fact is like I wasn't even.
That's not the point.
The point is I wasn't even prosecuted for it, like I didn't even go to court over it.
Like, even if I, they showed up the arrest as like a, like a charge, I've never been arrested.
And it was, and it was more than 10 years ago.
It was in 2014 when I got arrested for drunk driving, even though it was, you know it, they they threw the case out because I wasn't drunk, but it doesn't matter.
Like the fact that I got arrested for drunk driving was enough for them, like it got dinged in the system and they were like, well, it's okay technically because it was uh, you know, a decade ago anyway.
And I was like, but I didn't, like I wasn't drunk and I didn't even get prosecuted, doesn't it show in your system?
And they were like, no yeah no, they literally were like, no, it still says here that you got arrested for it, so they were treating it as though I listen Hassan yeah, it was not nice.
Do you know any of these people?
They didn't make me do that.
Unprosecuted Past Incident00:15:09
Come on.
You hate traveling.
I hate it.
Why do you hate it so much?
It takes forever.
And I have really bad FOMO.
I'm like, what's going on?
Like, when I'm gone, I'm like, I feel like everyone's doing stuff without me.
Really?
Yeah.
But I feel like when you're traveling, you're going to something exciting.
Like, it is the moment that you're going to.
You know what I mean?
I know exactly what I mean by the way.
I mean, you do live in Los Angeles.
Yeah.
And there's always things happening.
It is the happening place.
So when you go away, but is it when you're like, what if you're going to like New York City or London, like a big city?
When I'm there, but on the plane, I'm like, I'm wasting six hours of my life.
It feels like a waste.
I feel I can't sleep.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, I can't sleep on a plane either.
Uh-uh.
I can't.
My plane time is like I finally get to unplug for a second and not work.
I buy the Wi-Fi.
Yeah.
Because I'm like, what's happening?
Yeah.
Oh, I'm always on the, I get, I get very panicky because I'm always like tracking the flight to make sure we're, you know, stable and everything.
You and your aviation.
I'm such a, I'm so, I'm such an anxious person in general.
So he is a fantasy that one day he'll save a plane.
That is, so I do stay awake for that.
Just in case.
You know what I mean?
Just in case.
Just in case you got to land the clay.
He knows how to fly a plane.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Okay.
I do.
You have 2020 vision?
Yeah.
At least I used to.
I don't know what I haven't had it tested in a while.
That's his biggest fantasy, though, is that one day he'll save a plane.
His biggest fantasy is like a 9-11 style situation where he is the one who doesn't do 9-11.
Not into a building.
Safely.
Look, I don't know.
I would never want that to happen to anybody.
If there was a pilot that passed away, that'd be tragic.
Right.
He just wants to be.
But you want to be the hero.
But I would be there.
Always vigilant.
And I would say my online name.
You know what's funny?
Do you have any weird social fantasies like that?
Like you saving the day or a moment that you're the hero?
No.
Not really.
Is that like a weird thing to have?
No, many, many guys.
I feel like maybe it's a male fan.
It's a very good one.
I always used to have a fantasy that I'd be at a Jets game and for some reason, like eight quarterbacks would go down.
And there were some people.
And you had to save the day.
They could take a player from the audience or something and be like, hey, hey, buddy, throw a football.
I can throw a football.
That's crazy.
That's awesome.
That's even worse than mine.
What?
Mine's a little bit more realistic.
No, it's Scott.
No, it's not.
Yeah, it is.
Mine's more realistic.
Eight quarterbacks?
Two pilots.
Come on.
You think your fantasy is more realistic?
The only thing between me and my fantasy is like a bad salmon dish or something like that.
You know what I mean?
Between him, it's like eight Achilles.
Awesome.
You know what I mean?
The fucking flight marshal will tase you before you even make things here that you're doing.
I made my feelings bare for you to save you.
Like, I get it.
It's unrealistic that it would be Will out of all of the people in a football stadium.
I'm sure there's a fucking D1 cornerback out there.
You know what I mean?
He doesn't know the playbook, though.
I'm good for the system.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah, you're right.
You know, you know.
All right, you have topics.
Let's get into it.
Let's give Tara some of the talk.
Yeah.
So one of the things that you guys might have noticed is that Tara is from a different generation than us.
And I thought it would be kind of fun to do a deeper dive into what it's like to be on TikTok and to also, you're not a TikToker, you're a YouTuber, but like you did blow up on TikTok.
So I wanted to ask you some questions and then gauge the reactions of Austin and Will here.
Okay.
I mean, we're definitely going to be able to do that.
Maybe you guys can also pick her brain as well.
First and foremost, how do TikTokers make money?
I was wondering that.
Right.
Well, I don't know that much because I'm not a TikToker, but I know that some of my friends are on the creator program.
So if you make a video longer than a minute long, if it's your own content, like your voice and stuff, you do get money from that.
Also, audio deals, different company.
I mean, it's not directly from TikTok, but different like music labels will pay you to use their songs.
Okay.
That's how people make money, brand deals, but everyone knows that.
Yeah.
Is it really lucrative for like the big ones?
Like, are they making like how much would you say the top TikTokers are making just from TikTok?
I literally couldn't tell you because I'm not on the creator program.
Okay.
I have no idea.
And I don't ask my friends because I'm like nervous.
I'm like, are you guys doing better than me?
Yeah.
Well, I mean, like, you don't ask, but like, can you tell?
Like, I mean, without like, you could tell some of them are probably caked up.
For sure.
Like, I know if they pull up in a Lamborghini.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, but I feel like everyone that does TikTok that I know also does another thing.
I'm not super close with someone who only does TikTok.
I got you.
You know what I mean?
Okay.
But I do know they can live off of it pretty well.
Yeah.
And there is a, there's apparently a new meta out there that is an old meta that they've revitalized.
TikTok has a thing called houses, where a lot of content creators get together and they build a house.
Oh, yeah.
And right now, the hottest house out there is the Bop House.
Austin, do you know what a Bop is?
Yeah, Bop is somebody that...
I'm so sorry.
Don't don't help.
Okay.
Why did you look at her and say, I'm so sorry?
Well, because I feel like I'm going to butcher this.
I apologize.
I want to apologize to your generation.
Okay.
I feel like you're representing your generation.
You're getting older by saying that.
You're an ambassador for your generation.
I mean, we're not, you and me.
We're not so different.
How old are you?
31.
Oh.
Yeah.
That's not that much.
Yeah, they're both older than me.
Not in heart.
Then what's the bop house?
Go ahead.
I know what a bop is.
A bop is like somebody who I'm, I actually think this is what it is.
Okay.
Is it like it's a sexual thing?
Austin, don't ask questions.
Just explain what it is.
It's like somebody who like sleeps with people.
Like you're a bop.
Like they're a bop.
They sleep around.
So we jump off.
Yeah, good job.
Oh my god.
Wait, so it's just like a we get fucked house?
Sorry.
That was crude, but I'm not a part of the bop house.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, I know, I know, but yeah, bop is an entire TikTok house comprised of OnlyFans content creators.
Oh, yeah.
Amazing.
And apparently it's like the hottest thing right now.
One of the content creators' name is Sophie Rain.
You might have seen Sophie Rain on TikTok.
You definitely have not seen Sophie Rain.
Well, I mean, her pornography?
No.
No.
Does she not do porn?
No.
She doesn't do that.
No, she does.
Only fans, right?
I don't know.
I mean, she does like nudes.
Okay, Liz.
Oh, like you.
You're a fucking Bob.
Yeah, he's a bop.
Oh, my God.
No nudes, but very close.
Ludes.
Yeah, he does ludes.
I sell them.
Yeah, you're fucking Bob, dude.
No, Sophie Rain is famously a virgin.
Okay, but does she have OnlyFans?
Hold on.
Let me look this up.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I'm out of the rap game.
I will say, you guys are like choosing me to represent this generation, but I don't know much about the Bop House.
Oh.
It's a little far for me.
You would love the Bop House.
You should go to visit.
Do you think that they would have to?
I think so.
No, there's a gift.
You seem like nice girls.
There is a verified Instagram account.
Marsh, can you pull it up?
Called Bop House.
It's verified with 421,000 followers.
Let's look at some of the content that they're putting out there.
See what it's all about.
Wow.
It's so nuanced.
It could be about anything, really.
No, I think you don't know.
Maybe they're discussing.
Just click on a random one.
Yeah.
So it's in Miami.
I think they're just going to be Israel, Palestine in that one.
Look at that one.
Let me see what they have to say.
Asian House thinks they're going to pass you in followers?
Wait, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Wait, what?
So there's a bunch of houses that are like I didn't know about that.
This is like wait, also, I don't, I don't know if you know.
Okay, so you don't know a lot about the bop.
I don't know.
I just know Sophie's probably a nice girl.
She DM'd me, invited me to the bop house, and I couldn't make it.
Why do you guys think I would be invited to that bop house?
Because you're a bop.
Well, yeah, but like, what would like, look at their own, like, I just don't fit in there.
Put you in a little bit.
I mean, I get, oh, yeah, sure.
Bob House needs a gay man.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
I don't think they're fancy.
There's a whole series of content.
Dude, oh my God.
A 31-year-old gay man hanging out with 99.
Only best person creators.
Gay fellow girls.
There's a gay.
There's a gay bop house.
I've seen it on my TikTok.
Oh, there is.
Oh, so you know about that one.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know.
I've seen their clips.
I don't really have a lot of people.
March holders, please too much.
Gay Bob House.
Look, look, I haven't.
Look, you want to see what Austin is looking for?
I'm in the gay.
When you're in the gay, the gay world is very small.
Yeah.
So, like, yeah, it's very small.
Like, everybody, not everybody knows everybody, but like.
It's just more.
It's just more bop house.
They're bobbing.
Oh, wow.
Will, you have a business.
I do have a business.
I sell hot sauce.
You sell hot sauce.
Now, what if I told you there was a place to sell that stuff online?
What?
And nobody does it better than my friends at Shopify.
Oh, Shopify.
That's right.
It's home of the number one checkout on the planet.
And the not-so-secret secret with Shop Pay, that boosts convert conversion.
Conversion is up to 50%, meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more sales going.
Oh, I'm always abandoning carts.
Yes.
Yeah, I put everything in there and then I get too afraid because it's not on Shopify.
I'm like, I can't spend that money.
No, no.
And you should be afraid too if it's not on Shopify.
Oh, that's right.
So upgrade your small business and get the same checkout.
Host ad lib, host, insert.
I'm living.
I love selling things.
And you got to sign up for your $1 per month trial period on shopify.com/slash fear, all lowercase.
That's right.
Go to shopify.com slash fear to upgrade your selling today.
Shopify.com/slash fear.
What would you sell if you could sell something?
Quick.
Three, two, one.
Penises.
Fuck.
Sorry.
Let's do that again.
I don't know.
Anyway, I've seen this group that they call it like a gay bop house.
But yeah, the gay community is very small.
So if you're in the gay algorithm, you will like so much so that if you're, I'm not saying if you're seeing my clips, you're gay, but if you're seeing my gay clips, you know, I got like some really straight guy at the gym came up to me.
He's like, yo, bro, you're gay.
Like you were talking about twinks or something on your TikTok.
And I saw it came across my feed and I was like, brother, I got news for you.
You're a guy.
I was like, I got news for you.
So yeah, it's just very small, small world.
So the bop house just came on my algorithm.
The gay one.
The gay one.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, anyway, yeah.
More questions for I mean, we are giving her stuff that she hasn't dying.
I'm overlap with.
But she still knows better than, you know, Austin.
True.
So that's, that's.
Oh, so this is you're quizzing me and then okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, that was it.
Those are, those, those are the two questions I had.
Wow.
Okay, well.
Wow, that prep work was.
You do get ready with me's sometimes on my YouTube.
Do you think I could do a get ready with me?
Okay.
Absolutely.
Because I feel like if I were to engage in like TikTok content like that, because I post my podcast clips, I feel like if I were to engage in TikTok content like that, it just feels like I don't think I would fit in with it.
Why not?
Get ready with me to go on the podcast.
You go on the podcast.
Yeah, show your little outfit.
Do your hair.
Start with being shirtless.
Is that like I don't do that, but I'm just saying I would probably do that.
Yeah, do that.
Yeah, do you have to do things to be able to get ready for them?
Because Austin doesn't do much.
Oh, no.
I feel like I do enough.
Yeah.
Get ready with me to go to the gay bar.
Yeah, do that.
You should do those.
Yeah.
Get ready for to go to DC Pride or yeah, that's so fun.
We hope Pride.
I feel like people would watch that.
Yeah, okay.
Well, maybe I'll start doing Get Ready with Me.
You are never going to do it.
They're going to do.
I'm going to do Get Ready With Me and they're going to cook me on the podcast.
We are going to cook you on the podcast, but you're never going to do it anyway.
Do it for the tier three.
Do it for Patreon tier three subscribers.
I'm just pulling things that I wanted to talk about.
I had another thing on TikTok that's become a thing that I was fascinated by.
Marsh, I'm sending it to you now.
This is Stick Talk.
Stick Talk.
Yeah.
Go ahead and pull up the second one.
Yeah.
This is what I've been digging my time into.
Let's take a look.
Dude, I'm all over Stick Talk.
Okay.
What?
This is collecting and reviewing sticks on TikTok, and it has exploded.
I have no interest in bops, but what I do have interest in is that tiny nostalgic piece of me that when I was a little boy and I found a perfect stick, that shit was coming home with me.
And these people have taken it to the next level.
Let's pull up some of these talks.
But what makes a good stick?
Tara.
Okay, oh yeah.
Are you kidding me?
That's a good stick.
Thank you.
Okay.
That looks like something Gandalf would carry.
That I feel like that's you can't even call it a stick at that point.
That's like a tree.
Okay.
What?
No.
No.
That's a tree.
It's got to be fake.
That's a tree.
Yeah.
Oh, that cat.
That cat did not find that stick.
There's a lot of fake stuff going on at Stick Talk.
I'm realizing.
Whoa.
I'm sorry.
We already have a scandal.
I mean, look at that.
Is Stick Talk AI?
No.
No, this is a real community.
And they're vibrant.
And they're.
And you know what?
I wish more communities were like Stick Talk, right?
Okay.
There's nothing cool about this.
There's nothing sexual.
There's just people finding fun and interesting sticks.
Okay, wait a minute.
Stick nation.
Wait a minute.
What's happening?
Is he doing a third?
Oh, that's a good stick.
Yeah.
Whoa.
So, as a kid, did you ever grab a good-looking stick and come home with it?
Because I did it all the time.
I didn't spend much time outside as a kid.
I feel like you were an indoor kid.
Kinda, yeah.
Okay.
Maybe by the pool, but okay, fair.
Okay, go to that one to your right right now.
Right now, more, more.
What is that stick?
That's a cool stick.
Almost looks like a bee's nest.
So, my question to you guys is: if you were to create your own subculture on the internet, I think I know what yours would be.
What would be your talk?
Yours would be flight talk.
No, no, no.
I'm going to think of something a little bit better.
Stop.
Gay talk.
Would it be red tattoo talk?
No, I don't know what I would think of it.
Obscure.
What little tiny thing do you have an interest in?
Tiny.
Can I start with mine?
Yeah.
Chips on a sandwich.
Okay.
I think there's something magical about the pairing of chips with a specific sandwich to create a new art form.
I agree with you completely.
What's your favorite?
What's your favorite chips on a sandwich?
Gosh.
Creating Gay Talk00:08:27
If you had to.
Like if you go to chip on a sandwich.
Zap's voodoo heat.
Those are so good.
Thank you.
She gets it.
Even though there's a generational divide, Zap's Voodoo Heat, I would probably put that on a Bami.
On a what?
Bami?
It's a French.
Hold that up, Marsh.
It's like French.
It is a French Vietnamese sandwich.
So it's a French roll.
Oh, wow.
What kind of thing?
It's the only good thing that's ever come out of colonialism.
And it's like marinated carrots and a marinated Vietnamese vegetable with jalapeno and usually a brisket.
Yeah.
And it's a tattoo.
But the meat quality is usually not like, it's not supposed to be like good meat.
No, it's like sub-par.
It's supposed to be an affordable sandwich.
Yeah, it's like subpar parts of pork that you normally wouldn't consume on its own mashed together in like a like a salami type almost.
Yeah, it's like a brisket.
Yeah.
It's delicious.
It's incredible.
That would be that.
And the bread makes that.
That would be my talk.
Everybody share a piece of yourself.
Okay.
My TikTok would 100% be no, It would be Ottoman Empire talk.
Straight up.
About like what the world would look like if the Ottomans came to the gates of Vienna and those fucking Polish did not actually push them back.
Okay.
The winged Hussars.
That's crazy that we saw animosity for the Polish thousands of years later.
The winged Hussars, yuck.
Okay.
What would that look like if they went all the way all the way to the UK?
And we were just one Turkish Empire.
Yes, like the entire thing was just the Ottoman Empire.
I think that would only be you on that talk.
Okay, first of all.
No, no, no, no.
Come on.
The Ottoman Empire is fascinating.
It's like Ken Burns Civil War.
What are you talking about?
I do watch that.
Okay, so what would be your talk?
You'd be on Ottoman talk.
I was going to say World War II talk.
Okay.
You're going to sit here and throw rocks at his Ottoman Empire talk?
World War II is far more fascinating.
It happened like last, there's like 70 years ago, 1070.
Speak on it.
There's people you post about.
In England, I visited the Churchill War.
The Ottoman Empire was around in World War I.
Yeah.
Well, anyway, whatever.
It was almost done.
It was done.
I was shitting on his special.
Yeah, anyway, I don't know.
World War II talk.
There we go.
That could go dangerous.
That could go sideways real quick.
Tara, if you haven't understood, I'm an old soul.
Yes.
He's got a bop's body and an old man's soul.
Dean Martin was my top artist on Spotify.
Oh, okay.
Who was your top artist on Spotify?
Lana Del Rey, I think.
I don't have, you know what?
Controversial.
I'm not Spotify.
I do Apple music.
Okay.
They do a replay or something.
And my top one was Lana Del Rey.
But I think it's because I listen to it on the plane when I go to sleep.
Yeah.
I also had Dean.
I had Dean Ariana was in there.
Anergonde?
Yeah, and Chapel Rochelle.
I need to know.
I don't know.
That's crazy.
You got off his mouth.
That's crazy.
I need to think.
I need to think because I have so many interests, but I don't think any of them are niche and small enough that it needs a TikTok.
She said World War II.
Don't worry.
That's not niche at all.
Don't worry.
Yeah.
Bars down here.
You have to have something.
Maybe friends are like, why are you so interested?
I guess I don't talk about it, but maybe like fashion.
I'm not Western men who are into countries for like the way fashion developed.
I used to love watching like, there was this, I don't even know who did it, but it was like 100 years of fashion in Iran, 100 years of fashion in terms of the world.
I was at BuzzFeed and I helped with those videos.
No.
Wow.
Those are one of my favorite videos to watch on the internet, and I re-watch them all the time.
Set up the lights for those.
No way.
Wait, that's so cool.
Yeah, I love seeing how things change.
Have you ever thought about taking a trend and just like, just coming out and just bringing it back?
Seeing what happens?
Just starting it again.
Like really far back.
I want to do that.
What do you want to do it with?
Samurai gear.
Oh, okay.
No.
There is.
But that's something that needs to come back.
Type out trench coat nosferatu.
Oh, I know the words.
The Victorian trench coats that are like from Bloodborne.
I'm telling you.
You wear these.
No, no, no, I'm fully online.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I love those.
I feel like I've seen a song on one of those.
I have something somewhat similar to that.
I've been looking for snow in the house.
I've literally been looking for that.
The trench coat that I got in Japan has like the cape thing on one side, but it doesn't have it fully.
And I love it.
That's cool.
And I've been looking for it.
The other thing that I love is a Zoot suit.
I think that Zoot suits.
So in like the 1930s, it was considered a sign of wealth to have a bunch of extra material on your suit.
No, no, but then they make these suits.
I know what these are.
They would make the suits far too big to show how wealthy you were.
That it didn't matter.
You didn't work cropping.
No, no, but then it became, but in California specifically, it became a sign of like criminal activity.
So it was made illegal.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, because the mob would use it.
Jake bought one for a video that said like breaking 100 rules or something like that in California.
That's pretty good.
He has one of those.
Yeah.
They got to do it without the fedora, though.
The fedora is giving a little bit like.
No, I know, but I just, I really love the Zoot suit.
I want to, I want to bring it back.
Like, I want to be the guy that just only wears Zoot suits.
What would you like to bring back?
Tramp stamps.
Oh, I have one.
Okay.
Yeah.
They're so sexy.
I think they're already back, though.
I think a lot of people.
You should get a temporary tramp stamp.
No, I think tramp stamps are so sexy.
What is your tramp stamp?
It's just like a broken heart with a bunch of like flame, not flames, but like, I guess more like little squiggles.
Nice.
I don't know how to explain it.
Now, where are they?
They're like lower back.
But mine's like, yeah, mine's right above my crack.
And I feel like the ones that have come back are a little bit higher.
Like my roommate has one a little bit higher on her back.
You don't want to go too high, though.
No, mine is really low.
So I can't hide it if I'd like to.
Yeah.
No, I think they're so sexy.
Is that why you got it that low?
So you can hide it?
No, because I want it to be like traditional tramp stamps.
Like, why do you cat?
I grew up with that.
That and the whale tail when you used to hide.
Yeah, I love that.
Yeah, that's fine.
That is bashful.
Okay, can I tell you something I used to do in junior high, which was hilarious and evil?
When girls would do that, we would take our locker off our gym locker and go up behind them and snap the lock on their thong so it was like hanging out.
That's horrible.
These girls would have a giant gym locker attached to their thong.
Will it very funny?
I was 13.
Okay.
Yeah, right.
It's okay.
At my highest, my middle school, they had slap ass Friday.
I'm like, that's a slap ass Friday.
Yeah.
It was horrible.
I don't know why these things existed.
Like, slab your ass.
No, like guys would come and like slap girls' asses.
It's horrible.
That's badass.
Sexual assault Friday sounds insane.
When I was in school, we had, when I was in eighth grade around that time, we had this thing called sack tap.
I know what that does, too.
Yeah.
Suck your straight friend Saturday.
Sack tap is normal.
No, sack tap.
But middle school is like brutal.
Like slap ass Friday.
That's terrible.
Which is insane.
More like you get pants during PE.
Oh, yeah.
I remember like...
Oh my god, where did you go to school?
The Valley.
Oh, gosh.
You got pants?
I got pants in middle school.
Pants?
Oh, I know.
Bro, the seniors, my freshman year of boarding school, they just beat the shit out of me.
They wore all my clothes off to the point where I was squat naked in the middle of the quad.
And all I had was my squash racket.
And I had to walk back to my dorm with just my squash racket.
They started trying to pants you and you got away.
No, no, no.
I was fighting them.
I was throwing bows.
So they just, instead of taking it off, they pants 100 pants.
Jesus.
We didn't do that in Turkey, but we just like, I mean, I got my ass beat.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like six, seven people.
I never got beat up.
You never just got the shit kicked out of your hand.
You've never thought you were going to die under like eight dudes who were just beating the fuck out of you in a locker room.
I thought you party in Weho.
Yeah.
No.
I do, but I've never gotten beaten up or anything.
I don't think I do fantasize sometimes about like getting in a fight, not getting beat up.
As you're piloting the plane, no, like, I don't know.
Like, sometimes I do feel like, you know, I don't think I, because I did some boxing training with Will.
Yeah.
So I feel like I can land a good preparation for a professional fight.
Teenage Tumblr Vibes00:11:13
Yeah.
Very exciting.
When is it?
Are you open about that?
Yeah.
June 28th.
I'm doing it to raise money for cancer research.
That's amazing.
My cousin has colorectal cancer, so I decided to do it and training's been going great.
Yeah, he's gonna, he's insane.
I'm a mauler.
I'm excited.
Is it?
Can I watch it?
Like, is it like coming to see me?
You can even go.
You can go visit.
Oh, it's like it's in Tampa.
It's an event.
It's in the stadium.
Yeah.
A lot of content.
It's all content creators.
June what?
28th.
Can I come?
Yeah, of course.
You are coming with us because you're a part of the future.
That's right.
As a member of the pod, I do a segment every week called America Me Up.
I try and find a very American story.
Marsh, I sent you another story.
I'm just going to let you guys look at this one now.
And I'm going to let you gut react to it because I don't, for me to talk about it would really bury the lead.
Well, tell her what exactly America me up.
What America Me Up is: I try and find very, scroll down.
It was the one right above Stick Talk.
Mega Stick Talk.
I try and find stories that encompass what it means to be an American and really kind of re-stoke that pride in a ball.
It originally started on our older podcast called Fear and Mauding, where Will would educate me on.
Do you need me to resend it to you, Marsh?
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Yay!
Yeah, it's called Sex Doll Incident.
Okay, go ahead and love that.
China's student Burns inflatable girlfriend sparks fire after a roommate returns early.
So this student burnt down his dorm because to protect the fact that he was making sweet sexual intercourse to a blow-up doll.
How is this America Me Up?
This is from China.
Because an American student would never burn that doll.
They'd fuck it proudly.
Okay.
All right.
I think there's been too much Chinese propaganda.
So we're trying to bring it.
I'm trying to bring him back to the bottom.
That's why you brought the South China Morning Post.
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
Damn.
Wow.
Now, famously, you fucked a couch.
Wait, I've also fucked a couch.
You fucked a couch.
You fucked a basketball.
I didn't fuck the basketball.
What?
Okay, so when we were every, every, every man.
We're fucking inactive objects now.
No, gay.
No, no, no.
When you're, when you're going through, when men go through adolescence, we tend to experiment a little bit.
We just want to stick our penis in anything.
A basketball?
I didn't stick it in the basketball.
I just rubbed on it.
This topic is so awesome.
So I took a plastic bag.
I was not, this was not like last year.
This was a long time ago.
It was three years.
No, I was like, he was like 26.
I was like, how can I, because when you're going through whatever, you're just like, I need to fuck something and I want to get it as close to sex as possible.
I couldn't afford a flushlight.
You know, I was a teenager, right?
So I'm like, they're expensive.
So I was like, okay.
So I like filled a plastic sandwich bag with like moisturizer.
And then I put it between two couch cushions.
And I just, but I was a teenager.
Look, I was a teenager.
Okay, my story is younger than that.
I wasn't even a teenager.
I also fucked a banana peel.
No, a banana peel?
I was looking for anything to get my rocks out.
Hey, hey, you know what, King?
Respect.
I've moved on from the next one.
My question to you is if someone had caught you mid-objectional coitus, would you have set fire to it to protect your chastity?
No, I threw it in the trash can.
But you did get caught?
No, I didn't get caught.
One time, though, I did.
I was, you know, this was before I admitted to myself that I was gay, but I was like, I'm going to try to, you know, do the.
So I went to the store and I bought a cucumber.
Whoa.
Wait, you know, we're not cutting this off.
Yeah.
You bought a cucumber.
This is a new story.
So I was so curious what it felt like.
So I went to this.
I was like, I don't know.
You did booty boot camp before you did booty boots.
So I went and bought a cucumber and I was like, is this an girls do this?
She's not going to help you.
I don't know.
I was so young.
That's okay.
I had to walk to the store.
I was experimenting.
Did you get it?
No, no.
I couldn't.
You walked to the store, purchased one cucumber.
And I was so, that's the thing.
That's the thing.
Because I was so like, I was so mortified.
I was like, oh my God, he knows I'm trying to stick this cucumber up my butt.
That's what I thought.
I'm going to be honest with you.
He probably did.
And so what I did was I was like, I need to buy something else.
So I bought a bottle of water.
Okay.
And he came after me.
You're thirsty.
I'm just sucking down that cucumber.
That's crazy.
So anyway, I got it back and I just didn't have the confidence.
I thought it was.
Did you eat it?
No, no, I just, I just left it in the refrigerator for your mother to eat.
No, I didn't use it.
No, no, that's what I'm saying.
So did you eat it in the store?
No, I just put it in the fridge.
And my mom's like, why did you get a cucumber?
I was like, oh, I just love, I wanted a salad.
You have to.
No, you can't tell your mom that.
Imagine telling your mom.
Remember, that was supposed to go in my ass.
I mean, well, she actually was shocked that I was gay when I came out to her.
Oh, yeah.
But to be fair, it is shocking.
Yeah.
Well, she kept telling, she kept growing up.
She was like, oh, Austin's going to marry a woman.
He's just, he's like his father.
How old were you?
When I came out?
25.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, it was late.
That is late.
But I was dating a guy for a long time before that.
Okay.
But I would tell him.
My inanimate object, I remember I bought condoms.
Everyone has an inanimate object.
Every guy.
Every guy has a story.
I would jerk off into them.
You would have wanted to know what a condom felt like.
Yeah.
Every guy, okay, there's probably another story that he's not even telling you.
Every guy has a because like every person, every young boy basketball fucker when they're going through this period of time when their hormones are fucking raging, they certainly want to know what it feels like to have sex.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I want, yeah.
And never had an inanimate object that you can't say.
Do women?
I can't say I have.
I don't know about an inanimate object.
I thought it was like a showerhead for women.
Yeah, people do that.
But you guys have so many more options.
I don't think we do.
Oh.
Maybe.
Yeah, maybe cucumber.
Yeah, this one, a cucumber, shower head.
Yeah.
Electric toothbrush.
Electric toothbrush.
Yeah.
Cell phone on vibrate.
Yeah, cell phone.
You never just.
Xbox controller.
Never do that.
Just get a second phone and just call cards or something.
No, you don't.
Say something controversial on Twitter and then put it on vibrate.
Oh, no.
Interesting.
Yeah, men.
Yeah, we're just sick.
No, I get it, but it just, the basketball thing caught me off guard.
Yeah.
Basketball.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was like, I don't know how old it was, but I was not.
I don't even think I was a teenager at that point.
You just rubbed up against it and that was enough?
No, I like laid on it and I like humped it.
I used to hump with clothes on it.
I used to hump chairs.
And I didn't do it with bleaches.
I'm just really airing it out today.
How does that even work?
Well, it was, I don't even know.
It just wasn't.
It didn't feel very, well, it felt great at the time.
Do you remember when you were trying to be cool with the tattoo?
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
You went from that to telling me you're humping chairs.
Well, look, hey, look, I'm an open book.
Yeah.
I'm an open book.
Look, I think eventually I did buy a pocket pussy.
Right.
When I was, I got a Visa gift card when I was a teenager.
Oh, okay.
And the first thing I did.
Spencer's?
No, I couldn't do it in person.
I had to order it online.
Weren't you scared of it coming to the yeah?
So I ordered it to the local post office and I went and picked it up.
Dude, you were the nerdiest horn dog.
Yeah.
You were so nerdy.
I would not have even been able to figure all that out.
So I did that and then I realized this.
I should have known I was gay at this point because I used it once and it ended up in my closet.
No, pocket pussies are not great.
Yeah.
Like that's not a good thing.
It's just.
I think me and my friends went to Spencer's when we wanted to buy stuff.
We all went together.
Yeah, with girls, it's much more of like a team thing.
Yeah, for sure.
We all went together.
And I remember we would get each other for Secret Santa.
We would get each other little vibrators.
The weird thing for guys, too, is even weirder for dudes in general.
I mean, we've talked about this before on the pod.
Like, the, like, was it cutie who asked this?
Like, the dudes jerking off together?
Yes, I knew about this.
There were guys in my grade that were jerking off together, and I felt excluded.
I jerked off with some friends growing up.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, this bullshit.
I never got to work.
But it's only because I don't even think that people do it now, probably, because like for me, at least, like, growing up, it was porn was so limited.
It was directly.
How is that why?
Yeah, we jerked.
I remember the movie 13 Ghosts.
My friend and I jerked off to 13 ghosts because there were boobs in it.
And we were like, we've got to.
Yeah, we can't do anything.
That's one thing.
That's one thing about my generation is unfortunately there's been so much access to like the Bob House.
Kind of, yeah.
I mean, like, just to like anything for kids online.
Like, I remember I was on Tumblr way too long, way too young.
I just like.
You were looking at black and white pornography, very tasteful, very artsy.
Yeah, artsy pornography.
Yeah, I feel like the first thing I'm doing.
I feel like that goes into furry stuff real quick, too.
I don't know.
I feel like on Tumblr?
I have never spent any time on Tumblr.
Well, no, Tumblr.
It was for what it was porn for girls.
Yeah.
Yeah, but from what I understand, like everything I know about Tumblr is always like furry art.
Oh, okay.
And maybe now.
I feel like back then it was very like hipster and like artsy.
I remember I got a Tumblr page.
There was a lot of fan fiction on Tumblr.
It was always very clean.
Marsh, can you pull up Hassan Piker Tumblr?
Let's see if there's a.
Because I remember like the woke bay era.
There was definitely like a Tumblr.
I want to see.
Because all the, yeah, all the girly pops that are like super woke are they were on Tumblr.
Damn, it's still active.
There's like still.
Wait, I'm on your Tumblr.
What am I doing?
Yeah.
It was when we dressed up as maids.
Internet.
This is mostly me flexing.
Okay.
Yeah, they don't have to look too hard for that.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, that's the normal episode, folks.
That's right.
Tara, is there anything you'd like to plug?
Maybe our episode, but it doesn't go up for like another three weeks.
That's right.
It's not going to be up for another three weeks.
But Tara, thank you so much for coming on to the Fear On podcast.
Everybody, we have another hour, but that is going to be behind the paywall at patreon.com/slash fear.
And go subscribe.
We'll see you there.
See more.
We're going to get raunchy.
See you on the other side.
What we just did.
Hey, Austin, I got you a gift.
What's that, Will?
Will Neff track pay?
Oh, Will, it's what I've always wanted.
That's right.
That and plenty more merch on Will Neff.shop.
I also got you t-shirts here.
Try these out.
What?
Yeah, take those.
Take your shirt off.
My shirt?
Yeah, pop it off.
Will pop it off.
Marsh, I don't know.
Pop it off.
And I'm not ready for this.
Yeah, pop it off.
Okay, I didn't bring any shirts for you, but go to Will Neff shop.