Will Neff joins the Daily Dose of Internet to discuss his veganism, sparked by dairy industry ethics, and his anxiety regarding unfulfilled goals like opening an orphanage. They analyze the "horny gap" phenomenon causing career stagnation, contrast parental internet bans with secret gaming habits, and debate technology's role in fixing hair loss versus societal absurdity. Ultimately, the conversation highlights how digital addiction and restrictive upbringing shape modern identity, while joking about future roles in a Christmas concert. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Will Neff Is Alive00:02:16
Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you incredible news.
Will Neff is not dead.
That's right.
That's right.
Will Neff is alive after an incredible self-suck miracle.
You know, a lot of people actually thought I was dead.
What?
Because a lot of people in your community just made obituaries.
Like pictures of me in black and white with like Sarah McLaughlin in the background.
Like he just says like Will Neff, gone too soon to a self-sucking accident.
They didn't mention the self-sock.
Oh, that makes it worse.
Look like I died.
That makes it so much worse.
Wow.
That's right, though.
Five episodes down.
Finally, Will Neff is back, ladies and gentlemen.
He died.
They rushed him to the hospital.
Okay.
The doctor sees his penis and goes, we can't let this beautiful penis go to waste.
And he said, Nikki Sticks situation.
I don't even know what that is.
Oh, you've never heard this?
Nikki Sticks.
Front man of Motley Crew was dead.
Dead, dead.
Oh, I think I know what you're talking about.
The paramedic was in the ambulance and he was like, that's Nikki Sticks.
He can't die.
He hit him with like six shots of adrenaline.
I have heard this story.
Nikki Styx came out and went, oh, yeah.
That's how he revived himself.
Yes.
Bro, that's like.
That's how you say that.
That's like a stimpact.
It's like Call of Duty, bro.
He's like, I'm down.
Nikki Styx is down.
We have a wonderful guest here today, and we have one guest who is not here yet, a co-host, if you will.
You can just point to the empty seat next to you.
That's where the...
We'll Photoshop her in.
Ladies, am I right?
Of course, we are joined by Daily Dose of the Internet.
You want to give it like a...
Yeah, yeah.
Hello, everyone.
This is your Daily Dose Internet.
Here I am with Hassan and Will, and we're going to have a fun time talking about fun things.
Wow.
Damn.
Yeah, he's got it.
He's still got it.
He's still got it after all these years.
He's like the motley crew of daily dosing of the internet.
Internet royalty.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess.
It's funny.
I think it's like my first podcast I've ever done.
I've never done like one of these things.
Really?
Never.
Well, I'm going to ask you the hard-hitting questions.
The Empty Co-Host Seat00:11:41
Yeah, yeah.
Ask me anything.
I'm here.
I'm going to ask you some deep.
All right.
Don't ask him too many hard-hitting questions, bro.
God damn.
We want guests to come back.
He's kidding.
He's not going to ask you hard-hitting questions.
But yes.
Will Neff was dead.
Reanimated.
He's alive.
He's back.
Sure.
You're here.
You are here for what reason?
I'm here because my 30th birthday is coming up.
And I'm like, I want to do something fun.
So I wanted to come to LA.
And then I came here with no plans.
And I just went on Twitter.
I said, who wants to hang out?
And then QT reached out and a couple other people reached out and said, let's do something.
Name some names.
Who are the other people?
Who are they?
Some of the other people?
I don't know, but Alan Walker, he's a close friend of mine.
He's got a concert going on.
I'll be there on Thursday.
But yeah, and then I got the Christmas situation, Christmas Carol thing.
Oh, you're going to do that?
Yeah.
Cutie was like, hey, come through.
I will use you in my concert.
Yeah, she did.
She did actually.
And then she wants you to be Grinch.
Yeah, Scrooge.
Or Scrooge.
I'm going to be Scrooge.
The original Grinch.
Yeah.
Which, you know, it fits my personality so well.
I thought it was a little Islamophobic.
I'll just say it.
You know, the elephant in the room.
Yeah, Hassan.
Everyone just naturally assumes you hate Christmas.
What is your actual take on Christmas?
I fucking love Christmas.
I love every American holiday.
I love Western capitalist adaptations of like otherwise supposedly like important family gatherings or important traditions.
And it's all hyper consumption overdrive.
I love that shit.
I'm such a fan.
Dude, I had Thanksgiving here.
You went back home for Thanksgiving.
I had Thanksgiving here where like my dad flied out from Turkey.
My mom flied from New Jersey.
Our whole family, my grandparents came back from Turkey as well.
Our whole family was here in my house.
Like we did it here.
I love that shit.
I didn't grow up with it.
I don't have it.
We didn't have it in Turkey.
So I enjoy it so much.
Like we don't watch football, but I like the aspect of like the family getting together.
So your parents are still here since Thanksgiving?
Yeah.
My mom usually will just get like a one-way ticket and then decide when she wants to go back pretty much.
My dad has like more obligations in Turkey.
So he'll come for like a month or two sometimes, you know, if he can get time out.
But that's pretty much it.
That's part of the reason why I bought the house was so that they could like come in and out whenever they want to.
Yeah.
You know.
They're not working though, right?
Are they still working?
No, they are.
Okay.
Yeah.
They both teach in college.
Daily Dust.
Are you a big Christmas guy?
I love Christmas.
I mean, what's not to like about it?
Okay.
But here's the thing.
It's not my favorite holiday.
My favorite holiday is definitely Thanksgiving because it's all about family.
It's eating food and there's no like obligation to buy things.
So yeah.
That's wholesome.
I like that.
No, I agree with that.
I guess like the only reason why I like Christmas though is still because like I just never had it.
Yeah.
I'm Turkish.
I grew up in I grew up in Turkey.
Oh, okay.
So they don't have no in Turkey.
Like they call it Noel.
Some people do it, but like not everybody.
So it's not the same.
But the funny thing is in the in the Muslim world, because they're like, oh, that shit's actually kind of fire.
They basically substituted New Year's for Christmas.
So we like still have the Christmas tree, okay?
But it's not for the 25th.
Nothing happens on the 25th.
On New Year's, however, that's when people treat it like it's Christmas.
So our New Year's and Christmas is like tied together, basically.
I thought Turkey was like a mix of Muslim and Christian.
It's predominantly Muslim.
It's like overwhelmingly majority Muslim.
But yeah, there are Christians and stuff.
But it's a type of Muslim that's like, especially in the big cities, like very secular.
So it's like, you know, like an American Christian in like New York.
There's like a Turkish Muslim in Izmir or Istanbul.
So they don't give a shit.
They're not like super religious.
Well, I think that one of the things why I'm not a huge fan of Christmas, because it's all about material things.
And I'm not a huge material thing person.
Like I was thinking about this the other day and I was just like, I love experiences and I love meeting people more than more than actual things.
I don't know.
Well, the Grinch, you mentioned him earlier.
He taught us that.
He did.
Even without the roast beef or beasts, sorry, and without presents, Christmas still came.
Is that like, is the Grinch a good guy then at the end?
His heart grows three sizes.
Okay.
So he had a medical condition.
Yes.
This is literally ableist.
He had triple bypass.
That's ableist, dog.
That's crazy that like they wrote this.
Oh my God.
It wouldn't fly.
It wouldn't fly nowadays.
I'm a Thanksgiving guy.
I'm definitely a Thanksgiving guy or Halloween.
What did you do for Thanksgiving?
What did I do?
I just hung out with family and stuff.
Big family guy?
I'm a huge family guy.
Well, that's why I'm still in Chicago.
Okay.
I'm there.
I'm there because of my family.
You're Ukrainian?
Or you have Ukrainian relative?
I am Polish, and then I have my cousin who is Ukrainian.
Well, I have a couple.
I have a cousin in Belarus.
I have a cousin in Poland.
I got a cousin.
Basically all of Eastern Europe.
That's how it always is, I feel like.
Yeah.
And so I actually texted him the other day because I know the Russians were.
He's covering every angle of the war.
I am.
I have every angle.
Yeah.
Because I had my cousin who's in Belarus.
Like, no, like when the war first broke out, yeah, my cousin in Belarus, he's like, No, there's no war.
What are you talking about?
Like, there is war going on.
And then my cousin in Ukraine's like, Yeah, we see the aircraft, we see the bombs.
But my cousin Belarus is like, No, it's just Western propaganda.
It's crazy how that works.
Yeah, he was right.
Yeah, we are a pro-Putin podcast, so sorry, no politics on the podcast unless we're talking about our Lord and Savior, Vladimir Putin.
He is saving family values in America.
Okay, that is actually cool.
That guy wouldn't lie.
No, okay, don't actually show cool shit that he's doing.
Like, you're like, you're really like, I've seen him ride a horse naked.
Like, that shit's fire.
I am such.
I wish our leaders did that.
Yeah.
Can you imagine?
We know his height, though.
Was it a horse or was it a pony?
That's good.
You're right.
No, it was, I think it was a horse.
Can't say anything else.
It's a horse.
No, but okay, that's so you're in Chicago.
That's the most Chicago lineup, dude.
Polish, Belarusian, Ukrainian.
So here's a fun fact.
I'm full of fun facts because that's what I am.
Yeah.
That's what I love to do.
So Chicago has the most Polish speakers outside of Warsaw in the world.
That is a fun fact.
That is a fun fact.
But I know no Polish.
That's a sad fact.
You follow the fun fact up with a sad fact.
Do you get mad at Polish jokes or do you make Polish jokes?
Do they make Polish jokes in Chicago?
Yes, I would say so.
They have to, right?
Like, I feel like that's a follow-up question.
Are you a tube meat guy?
I am.
I'm vegan, so no.
You're vegan.
That's crazy.
Chicago.
Yeah, so it's a little rough.
It's brought capital, dude.
What the hell?
How did you know that was an option in Chicago?
It's a little rough.
I'll tell you that.
So coming here is a lot easier.
Yeah.
So like, what do you like?
I want a deep dish, and then it's just a dish.
It's just a dish.
Yes.
So it's a little rough in Chicago, but I do food delivery.
I can survive.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
So it's a lot easier here in LA.
The only vegan man in Chicago.
I am probably the only vegan man in Chicago, yes.
Yeah.
Wow.
But how did you come across that journey?
Did you watch like a documentary?
What happened?
No, it was actually my friend.
Are you familiar with Sweet Anita?
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
So, yeah, well, you know, we'll talk sometimes.
And she kind of just educated me.
I was like, okay, whatever.
And she gave you a daily dose of the internet.
Well, no, here's the thing.
She didn't, she didn't.
Fun fact.
She didn't tell me what to do.
She kind of just like educated me about the process.
And then what made me just flip, I go straight vegan right away is when she went, oh, you know, cows have to get pregnant to make milk.
I went, huh?
What?
Oh, yeah, cow rape.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then what really was when I learned that when baby cows need to die for milk to be produced, I'm like, oh, I'm not cool with this.
So that is like cold turkey or something.
Yeah, veal.
Yeah, veal.
So the veal industry is entirely dependent on the dairy industry.
Yeah.
Veal is also not that tasty, except for the veal I had at Carbone.
That is the point you made.
I'm sorry.
The product of rape isn't even tasty.
That's what I mean.
It's like, it's like cruel.
Like, foie gras, which is duck liver, is produced through a process that would be considered torturous and excruciating.
You know, they shove illegal here.
Yeah, it's illegal here, which is strange.
America will sometimes like...
In Chicago, there were certain places that after foie gla became illegal, they just took the fines and kept serving foie gla.
That's how dedicated they are to patch.
That's the Chicago shit I've ever heard.
So here's how I actually did research on this.
So that term foie gua, whatever, I don't know how to pronounce it.
So it's illegal in California, but is an illegal in New York City, but everywhere else in the USA, totally legal.
It was illegal in Chicago.
Oklahoma.
Oklahoma.
They're going to be like, yeah, I want some of that foy grace.
Off some halipena poppers and some frag rat.
Yeah, put some faux grass on my jalapeno jalapanos, but here's where it gets funny.
So it it was illegal in Chicago in 2006 and then, two years later, they they brought it back because the restaurant owners had too much drama.
Manual baby bringing it back and they just kept serving it too.
It was uh, Richard Daly.
Oh okay, he called it the most ridiculous law they ever passed.
I mean, I understand why they would.
It's like if you're in America and and that's illegal, but you can like purchase a gun if you cross the state border, like that.
Yeah, it's like what we kill each other like.
Why the fuck would we care about a duck, which again, very torturous method for those of you who don't know, at home uh, you take a.
You just like shove a fucking uh thing down like a tube down the throat of a of a goose duck and then just pump it full of lard so the liver gets extra fatty.
Um, and then then you make pate out of it.
It's delicious, like I think it's a little gamey, not for everybody, you know, not for everyone, but like with a little bit of taste please, with a little bit of apricot jam.
You fucking slice that on a on a piece of like sourdough.
So you've had foie gua recently.
I haven't had it recently, but I did have veal twice in one week okay, in two different places, and veal not that good we're.
I mean, you ate meat like you're familiar with all these things right, like for the first 27 and a half years of life.
So yeah, there's like I was talking about this a lot over the past, like weekend for over the past week for some reason.
But like filet mignon is such a fucking scam.
Why is that?
Um, filet mignon is treated as the best cut of the meat, even though it's because it's just like scarce on the animal.
But ribeye is is significantly better.
I'm gonna give you a controversial take that I finally, in my 33rd year, i'm not afraid to voice it hamburger more tasty than any steak ever.
That's not that controversial, that's very controversial, bro.
It's literally packed with like good things.
You know what I mean.
A steak has to ride on its own and unless you have, unless you have like wagu A5 snow beef you know what I mean.
That like that looks like chicken when you fucking bring it in raw.
It's so fucking marbled that it like literally has the, the color pattern of a of a slab of chicken breast.
Filet Mignon Is A Scam00:05:52
Um, unless it's like that, you should probably stop talking about meats with the.
I can't, I can never stop talking.
I'm not gonna stop you guys.
It's well, let's get to the hard-hitting stuff.
Yeah, let's come here.
You've become a pillar of the internet, I I guess it's funny though because, like my standards are so high, I just feel like i'm, I feel like I I keep falling upwards, like I feel like every month, i'm like i'm a failure, i'm a failure, i'm a failure.
Well, for you who feel like you're falling upwards, what do you think it is about your particular brand that attracts so many people?
Uh, I make it for everyone.
So um so oftentimes, like i'll avoid certain topics because, just because i'm like not everyone's gonna like that, like there's like a really good video game reference I wanted to use, but i'm like not everyone's gonna know that.
Hey cutie oh, I did it.
Look who it is.
Wow ladies, am I right lately, don't say that late, ladies.
Never miss the podcast.
You would never, will never.
You weren't even here for the reincarnation of Will He.
He came back from a self-sucking accident.
He's alive, right?
Oh, we all celebrated where you've been.
Oh, right now we're talking.
We're giving daily dose.
The hard-hitting question.
Getting him with the hard-hitting yeah, great questions.
I want to dig in, i'm jumping right in, i'm excited.
Yes, you look great, though.
Thank you, I did my makeup in the car while driving.
Oh my gosh, that seems dangerous.
Yeah, not when you're this talented.
Okay, all right.
Well, I think the last time I saw you, two guys were Streamer Awards.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it's been a while.
It has been a while.
But I'm trying to change that.
I'm trying to come back to LA more often.
So I'll be back in March and June.
One in March.
Oh, Streamer Awards is March.
Yeah.
And then VidCon for June.
Oh, that'll be free.
You're doing VidCon?
I've never done VidCon before.
And so my company's like, you should do it.
You should do it.
I'm like, okay.
Your company, what do you mean when you say your company?
My network.
Network.
What does that mean?
You're a part of a network?
Is it like an agency?
Yeah, I'm with Collab.
Have you ever heard of the Collab?
C-O-L-L-A-B?
No, what does the network do for you?
I'm learning.
Yeah, so they help with title stuff, back-end video research stuff.
Whoa.
So they do a lot of the technical stuff to make my numbers better.
Are you happy with them?
Love them.
Oh, that's interesting.
That's the first time I've heard a YouTuber say they love the network that they're under.
I love them.
I mean, they do a great job.
So I have no complaints.
MCNs, for the most part, were kind of scammy, but I guess collab is different.
This is very inside baseball.
Yeah.
Inside baseball.
We do a little bit of inside.
We do inside baseball.
I'm trying to get away from too much insight.
I had, yeah, well, you weren't here.
So that's literally all I did with courage.
So here's my follow-up question.
We're going to hit you with the hard-hitting stuff.
Uh-oh.
You have one of the most iconic voices on the internet.
Okay.
I'm just a regular guy.
That's what I feel like every day.
Yeah.
You've noticed that your voice has, like, it's one of the most insolently.
When am I going to get a daily dose audiobook?
Whenever you want.
I don't know.
Oh, I want it ASAP.
I do it all the time for free.
Like, people are like, hey, can you wish my kid a happy birthday?
I'm like, hey, hey, Jaden, happy birthday.
Hope we have a fun.
Like, I do that all the time.
He did it.
That's just good.
That'll be $600.
Maybe.
Do we have a short Christmas story that maybe later in the pod we could have the daily dose read with his poetic?
Yeah, we'll play some like music, copyright, free music in the background as well.
Yeah, we could do that.
I love that.
See, I'm doing content.
That's a great idea.
He's back.
I'm spending time on my own dick.
He's back.
I was perking late in ideas.
Okay, I have a question I ask a lot of people.
Sure.
If you could make a perfect piece of content, I don't make content.
I just put it together.
But if you could.
He is the glue.
He is the Van Gogh.
What is your...
Do you have any artistic ambitions outside of your regular product?
Oh, I do, but I don't want to.
I'm good with what I do.
You don't want to have those ambitions.
No, that's the first time I've ever heard.
It's too much work.
I'm good.
My workload is perfect.
That's wicked.
I love it.
So I upload twice a week, every Monday and Thursday.
It used to be every day.
That was insane.
Yeah, that's crazy.
That was insane.
I had no life.
That's a lot.
And then it was three times a week.
Oh, yeah, it is daily dose of the internet.
That's why I used to be able to do it.
Now it's here's your twice a weekly dose of it.
It's my weekly dose of internet now.
It doesn't hit the same.
It doesn't ring the same.
So for marketing reasons, we got to keep it the same.
But yeah, I don't know.
I'm happy with my workload and everything, and I'm good.
Like, they want me to jump on TikTok and everything and really pump, pump, pump out.
Oh, interesting.
They want me to get on YouTube shorts.
Here's your hourly dose of videos.
I'm worried about YouTube shorts.
I know it's perfect for my content, but I'm worried on how that impacts.
So when you first upload a YouTube shorts, how does that impact the actual regular videos?
No, it's good.
It's good.
I talk to streamers all the time.
I talk to YouTubers all the time.
The shorts are like on crack right now for your overall subscriber count.
You will reach a much broader audience that you had not reached before.
I understand that your secondary concern is like, will it prioritize the shorts on your own subscription, like for people who have subscribed to you?
Will it prioritize the shorts over your regular videos?
I don't think that's...
You don't think it's not an issue?
I haven't heard it from anybody.
Because I wanted to wait for things like to settle down a little bit before I jumped on that.
So I might do it.
I might do it.
I know that a lot of channels on YouTube that just do shorts have blown up tens of millions of fucking subscribers just on shorts.
Well, like, I know I could blow up, but I'm just saying, like, it's more about the money.
No, I understand.
Speaking of YouTube shorts, the United States beat Iran yesterday in the World Cup and made its way through for the first time since 2006.
Is anybody watching the World Cup?
Jerry Jones And FIFA00:02:34
No.
I watched it.
Okay.
I watched it.
All right.
Did you feel it?
I felt nothing.
Yeah, you can't.
Them Iranians.
I'm not too into soccer.
Right.
I'm not watching it because I want to protest it because 6,000 people died to build the stadiums and stuff.
Oh, shit.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, what the fuck?
I'm sorry, I watched it.
You literally did that.
You killed me.
Oh, no.
How does that feel?
Well, also, they don't allow beer.
So that's also bad.
But that's not good either.
Yeah.
I like that.
It's like 6,000 slaves were murdered in the process of building this.
That's crazy.
That's a lot of people.
Not giving beer.
Yeah, no, this is pretty fucked up.
I mean, we don't do any politics on the project.
We're not trying to do politics, but how do they get away with that?
But it's called having a lot of money.
Really?
I should tell you.
Half the Earth's population is watching the World Cup.
Yeah, they bribed FIFA, which is probably one of the most overtly corrupt institutions on the planet.
Like, really?
Literally.
Yeah, I would say they are so overtly corrupt.
Like, they're so open and so brazen with the bribes that they take.
Like, they just.
So, would you say that American football is the actual football and a better sport?
No.
That's interesting.
So, you support the murder of slaves.
We're going to move right past that.
Famously, America as a nation.
We're going to move.
And football is an enterprise.
The week that Jerry Jones in his photo resurfaced in Arkansas.
Did you see that?
No, what he did.
Where he was the Cowboys owner.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
That's Jerry Jones.
Yeah.
A photo recently.
He's like 100 years old.
Very, very old.
And of course, if you're like a very old white guy from the South, maybe where were you during the time of segregation?
Oh, that's right.
He was at a fucking protest at a school where they were allowing black people to go to that school.
He was in that famous Little Rock.
Yeah, Jerry Jones, Little Rock, and the photo, the Cowboys Owner, juke for decades.
Now, technically, he had actually came out.
He did like a soft launch of it.
You know what I mean?
Back in like 2006 in a book.
May or may not have pros.
Maybe he was just there to learn.
Oh, yeah.
In 2010, in an oral history project for the University of Arkansas, his alma mater, Jones couched his part in the contentious scene at North Little Rock.
I know Jerry Jones, and I am looking at this photo, and Jerry Jones is so fucking old now that I can't identify what internet sleuth.
No, he said it.
Which one is he?
He got the best.
Wait, he found it himself.
Taylor Swift Ticket Frenzy00:15:41
Yeah.
What?
No, he did it.
So he did it to be like, well, I talked about it back in the day.
You know what I mean?
It's like one of those things.
He soft-launched his cancellation.
Yeah.
That's a new technique to soft-launch your own cancellation.
Anything you want to be canceled for?
Get out there.
Get out ahead of time.
Yeah, it's like if what's the Clippers guy, if he like ahead of time was like, you know, I talked about this before.
I just don't like my significant other having sex with black men.
Not a big deal.
I talked about this before.
Sports has some real, you know, not great moments for sure.
Yeah.
No.
Well, aren't they not called owners anymore in the NBA?
They're called CEOs.
That is such an NBA move.
I love that.
Yeah, yeah, so stupid.
Because they don't want, like, you know, it's like 2022, I guess.
That's like changing the name of the master bedroom from the master bedroom to like the primary bedroom or whatever.
Like, wow, wow, we really done it.
We really did it.
We did it, guys.
You know, the cultural is over.
The cultural and material impact of white supremacist segregation and slavery is done.
Yeah.
It's like doing land acknowledgements.
Like they do it in Canada.
They're like, oh, we're in, you know, stolen Choctaw land.
You know, and then they will continue on with the presentation.
Well, cutie, have you announced that you're a Jets fan yet?
Because the Jets have supported Taylor Swift so full-throatedly.
Is that true?
Yes.
Did you get tickets?
Yes, I did.
I got tickets.
I waited six hours.
Congratulations.
$50,000.
Where did you wait six hours?
$50,000.
Well, that's for a different show.
So I got tickets to two shows.
Sorry, Swifties.
You are paying $50,000?
Well, if you count my other show, I spent $53,000 total.
Was it just one ticket?
No, no, no, no.
Where are you sitting?
Everybody, this is...
Don't be mad.
I did this instead of buying a car, which admittedly going to be a little bit more damaged.
That is literally dumber than happy.
Why did you admit that?
Why did you admit that?
That's so much dope.
I have an old car.
I have a car.
It works fine.
I don't need a new one.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
So where are you sitting?
What is $53,000 buying?
Does it get you some of Taylor's hair?
Dude, no, that's the worst part.
You don't even get to meet Taylor Swift.
Oh, wow.
I was like, you have to meet Taylor Swift.
50 grand's a lot.
50 grand a no, it's a lot of money.
It's the most I've ever spent besides on a house.
But it, okay, guys.
So I got tickets to the normal tickets, which were just like they're like row four tickets.
Right.
Those, I got five of those.
And that was $53,000 total.
Oh, that's a good one.
I got five of those.
Yeah, because I'm going to that one with like Leslie and all those guys.
Yeah.
The Swifters.
And then a few days later.
We're not invited.
Notice.
You guys don't.
You don't even like her.
Well, I'm a Swifty now because the Jets have basically a defendant.
Defended.
Yes.
Yeah.
Defended Taylor Swift unconditionally.
Also, what would be a better opportunity to change a John Mayer friend and fan's mind than going to a Taylor Swift conference?
I'll consider you.
You're not a priority because you can't name more than 10 songs.
Okay, first of all, your body is a wonderland.
No!
Body is a wonder.
And then, so I bought it.
I was saying.
Screen door, red dress.
I'm in.
No.
I know you were in trouble when you walked in.
Is that Taylor's work?
Yeah.
Let's go.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?
No.
That's also not even the name of the song.
That's cute.
Fuck.
All right.
Anyway, I noticed they sold boxes.
So I bought a box for $50,000.
Yes, you know who buys those, right?
What's in the box?
Yeah.
What's in the box?
You know who buys those?
20 seats.
I get 20 tickets.
Like Visa.
Oh.
You guys are still not on the list.
20 seats.
We are not even in the top 20.
We are not in the top 20.
What the fuck?
I'm taking my Mormon family.
Oh.
How big is your Mormon family?
What do you mean?
How big is my Mormon family?
I don't have 20 family members that I like enough to get into a box seat with Taylor Swift.
I didn't say I like them enough.
You're bringing people that you don't like to your fucking box.
You know who buys box seats are bought by like Visa, MasterCard, ATNT.
And then also Cutie Cinderella.
That's crazy.
Yeah, it was.
You know, the Visa executives get to meet Taylor Swift.
How does your Mormon family know Taylor Swift if they don't have electricity?
Yeah, exactly.
No, well, okay, so.
I got to mix up with Amish.
Sorry.
All my siblings are married.
And so that's like 10 people already.
That's yuck.
So not only are you bringing your sisters, some of which you don't like, you also are bringing their deadbeat husbands.
Yeah, that's who never listened to Taylor Swift.
That's crazy.
I bet those guys don't even know about Taylor Swift and you bring him and you're not bringing us.
Well, we'll see where the list lands.
Okay.
Will you remember me?
Yeah, there he goes.
Is that a Taylor Swift's?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Wildest dreams.
I need to get myself.
Jason likes Taylor Swift.
I have no opinion.
Damn it.
He was also not the fellow on my team.
I don't follow artists.
I just like songs.
What do you do?
Yeah, Mr. Joe's.
Don't think.
Close your eyes.
Spit out the first thing that comes to your head.
We're talking about it.
Go now.
Apple was the first thing that came to my head.
Apple.
Like the product or the product?
Like the food.
Oh.
Okay.
You eat apples.
Okay, my family owns.
You work out.
You work out.
My family owns an orchard.
I'm an apple guy.
Okay, now you're just flexing.
I own an orchard.
That's my dream.
That is my dream.
My dream is to retire and open up an apple orchard.
I feel like you could do that without retiring.
Oh, no.
I think you could get one now if you wanted.
I guess I'm not sure.
I think he used to operate the orchard, though.
I get inside this fan's mind because he had the whole world of opportunities.
He went with something as humble.
I love apple picking and apple orchards, and I love bees and I love nature.
And I like, I love humanity.
You love bees.
I would like to be a family as a honeypot.
Where's my family?
I fucking hate it.
Would you like to come to our hive house?
Sure.
So my retirement dream goal is a big old farm, get some goats, apple orchard, that whole thing.
I'm a pretty, pretty simple person.
I like that.
That's cool.
I'm not a city person.
Sorry.
No, I'm not either.
I love city.
So you just, you want the simple life.
I'm a pretty simple guy.
Yeah.
Do you do any, do you have a green thumb?
Huge green thumb.
Huge green thumb.
What are you growing right now?
What am I growing right now?
Right now it's just a little maple tree.
A little maple tree.
I'm trying to grow that.
So, I mean, not the greenest.
No, I don't have a house.
I don't have a garden yet.
I have an apartment.
Why don't you get a hard time?
You got to get one of those walls that you can grow off of.
I don't have a house yet because my life is still up in the air.
My life changes so fast year to year.
Sure.
So I don't know where I'm going to be, you know?
Okay.
I rent because I want to keep things open.
Right.
Okay.
Like, I don't want to.
You're not taking advantage of that openness.
Well, also, it's a really bad time to buy a house because of mortgage rates and everything.
That's true.
Are you a pot smoker?
I yeah.
Yeah.
Strike me as a pot smoker.
Yeah, I'm definitely not an alcohol guy.
Right.
I'm definitely a weak guy, but I don't make a habit of it.
You just hit the Pennington every once in a while?
No, I don't own any.
Like sometimes I'll see friends and stuff.
And you're like, let me go to Blinker City.
Yeah, you know, friends will be like, you know, come on over.
I'm like, okay, cool.
Let's have some fun.
Have you ever watched Damien Luck, aka Fulcrum?
Don't think so.
Yodi Land?
Yodi Gang?
No?
No.
I don't really watch content.
Faded in a hoe, faded in a hoe, faded in a hoe, faded in a hoe.
How is that possible?
How do you source your videos?
I find I scroll through my entire day is like four to five hours worth of scrolling through TikTok, Instagram.
Oh my gosh.
Twitter.
I spend almost all my time on social media.
I don't really watch TV shows or anything because I just put my head down and grind.
And then when you see stuff, you message people and you ask if you can use it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
I don't really watch too much content.
It's really rare.
All right.
I'm going to ask you a hard-hitting question.
Sure, go for it.
You keep saying that.
None of them have hit hard.
These are hard-hitting.
He's like, I have a hard-hitting question for you.
How do you like to spend your Monday mornings?
Yeah.
No.
Ready?
I'm ready.
You are arguably the internet's finest curator.
Sure.
Thank you.
What is your favorite internet video of all time?
That is a hard-hitting question.
Never mind.
Oh my God.
He did it.
I'm freaking out.
But the thing is that the problem with that is that there's so many videos I see in them.
It's like they kind of blend together.
I'm not letting you off the hook.
I need highlights.
I need like, there's got to be ones that stand out in your head that you're like, damn.
There aren't really that stand in my head because.
They all just blur together.
They blur together after a while.
It's like, what's it called?
Doom scrolling or something?
There's a term.
Yeah, does it hurt your brain?
It does.
Because I get off TikTok after 15 minutes and I'm like, oh.
That's crazy.
Only 15 minutes?
I feel drugs.
Well, here's the thing.
I actually was really worried because when TikTok first started to emerge, it was like distorting my brain inversion of reality.
Cause like I would, I actually had to get help for this.
So I got therapist help for this.
Because it was that, because I was spending so much time scrolling through TikTok.
It was my full-time job.
It was distorting my view of reality and distorting my view of perception.
He's like, daily dose of misogyny.
Well, I didn't, I don't want to get into deep.
Wrong side of TikTok.
Yeah, yeah.
But it kind of messed me up a little bit, but I'm good now.
But yeah, so I actually had to get help for that.
That's crazy.
Fascinating.
That's how bad TikTok is.
No wonder you want to own a farm.
You kind of resent technology.
I am totally fine with just disconnecting from the internet forever.
Wow.
I think, you know what it is?
It's because he turned his passion into a job.
Well, it's something that's supposed to be fun.
Like, I don't enjoy social media like everyone else does.
Yeah.
Because I have it created for me.
I have it.
Like, all my algorithms are not made for me.
All my algorithms are made for daily dose of the internet curations.
They're made for everyone else.
I know exactly what you mean by that.
That's kind of why I rarely ever spend time on TikTok because my TikTok algorithm is curated specifically for the types of like weird right-wing.
We scrolled your algorithm one time.
Yeah, like weird right-wing content creators that I, or like random right-wing people that are like, I'm going to go take a gun out and shoot IRS agents.
Like I'm looking for that all the time.
So I think my, and then I also like scroll for personal pleasure as well sometimes.
So it's just like this weird combination of like those two worlds and TikTok doesn't do a good job of like delivering the sauce for me.
No.
I think we have a thread of something faster.
Sure, go for it.
You would unplug from the internet.
I'd like to unplug from the internet, but it's my job.
Do you have a break-even point?
Do you have a goal where you're like, I'm fucking nuking this and I'm gone and you'll never see me?
Probably two to three years.
Whoa.
Unless something changes.
So it's not money, it's the time thing.
It's a time thing because my goal is just be done with YouTube by 32 and then just travel the world, see friends.
So I've you know you could do that right now.
I'm doing that right now.
Yeah.
Would you ever sell your business and just lend them your voice?
Like once a day you wake up on your orchard and you go, whoa.
And you do the give me give me the yeah.
Hello, everyone.
This is your daily dose internet.
And then it's someone else who's cut it and put it together.
Yeah, I've talked to a few people.
I've had a lot of offers for a lot of money.
And so that might be the goal eventually.
Wow.
Yeah, that's really cool to think about.
Like they could just send you lines and you just say them and then it's like.
Maybe I could do that.
I'm beginning to realize we're on the exact opposite end of like content creation in the sense that like there's no like like you never want to stop.
I can't stop hands.
I would never want to stop.
I love what I do and also it's impossible.
Like who the fuck?
I mean, I think you could just record top of the hour ad breaks.
Yeah, that's my content.
And then someone could stall.
Yeah.
And that would be, it wouldn't be the same, but it'd be pretty much.
That's my content.
Well, it's also because people are there for you.
They're not there for me.
They're there for the content.
That's a different thing.
Yeah, you almost did it right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You did it correct.
I guess we sold our souls.
Exactly.
That was our mistake.
Do you prefer that, though?
Do you, do you like that?
Or do you, is there a part of you that sometimes wishes like, I wish it wasn't just like the daily dose of the internet, but I wish it was more me.
And also that like people knew me for me.
And like I got to see that because you're surrounded by people, surrounded by content creators who you know that put their face out there and have like adoring fans and whatnot.
Do you ever feel, you know?
That's kind of what I'm doing right now.
I'm kind of like, I like to dip in and dip out.
And I realize this is my personality.
I like to socialize, but only on my own terms.
Oh, that's interesting.
Like if people just like show up to my place unannounced, which would never happen, but if it did, I'd be furious.
Like, what are you doing here?
Has anyone ever recognized you by your voice?
By my voice, a ton of times.
Like maybe like a dozen times, maybe.
I feel like if you were a pharmacist, it'd be every day.
Yeah, but I don't really think so.
But the thing is that I've only gotten recognized by my face like three times.
Like it's super rare.
It was funny, though, because I was at my gym and some girl came up to me like, are you Daily Dose?
And I'm like, yeah, I am.
I've never seen her before.
She took a picture of me and then I never saw her ever again.
So I think maybe she got like embarrassed or like.
Oh, interesting.
I'm like, I was affecting this.
I was expecting her to keep coming back to the gym to the gym because, like, oh, that's where Daily Dose is.
But maybe she felt like it was weird.
You did your...
How long ago did you do your face reveal?
It was pretty recent, wasn't it?
I don't know.
I've never done a big reveal.
I've always just...
You just kind of posted your face.
Yeah, and I never did a.
For some reason, I thought you like, I thought people were like, oh, this is, this is, this is what he looks like.
I mean, it was a face reveal for us for the first time when we saw it.
Yeah.
Technically, for us, it seemed like a face reveal.
He's been doing it.
I'm curious if when you did a face reveal, if you got like a bunch of sliders.
The thing is that I think it's always been out there.
No one really put the two together.
I think there was a couple viral clips at Winbrow that were like me saying it with my voice.
Oh, you know what?
It was pretty much the streamer awards.
That was like my face revealed.
I did it.
I ruined this man's life.
I'm so sorry.
I'm good.
You didn't get any sliders?
Sliders.
People that slide into your DMs and try to make it comes along.
Really?
Really?
Wow.
That surprised me.
I'm good.
So, question for you.
You have friends that are content creators.
You've mentioned some of them.
But would you say that the overwhelming amount of your group of friends are just Normans, civilians?
Pretty much.
Well, you know, I have a lot to thank is the reason why I'm here right now is because my friend Alan Walker, he's actually going to be down the road there performing tonight or tomorrow.
Oh, cool.
Yeah, yeah.
And you guys are all invited.
He's not down the road from my house.
He's not saying that.
He's just saying like down the road with respect to Los Angeles to where he's coming from.
Yeah, yeah.
So yeah, like, I don't know, up there.
But yeah, he's like responsible for me like getting out here because he reached out to me.
He's like, hey, Daily Dose, I love your videos.
Come to my, you know, come to my concerts.
Come on Twitter.
Oh my gosh.
I'm like, okay.
So he's like the first time I ever stepped out of my comfort zone.
And now I'm like addicted to hanging out with content creators and things like that.
So I have all to thank for him.
We're very addictive.
No, I mean, I think you're, I have, we have a lot in common, him and I.
Yeah.
We have a lot of anxieties.
Yeah, we are very weird.
Our DMs consist of...
You're afraid of that too?
Yeah, we both have high anxiety issues.
What are you afraid of the most?
Afraid of the most is dying before doing the things I wanted to do.
High Anxiety And Video Games00:06:49
Oh, that's crazy.
Like, so if I, if I died, I'd be pissed.
Like, I'd be mad.
What's your number one bucket list item that you haven't done?
Get it?
Well, come closer to the microphone, by the way.
A little closer.
Have a deep, meaningful connection with a significant other.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, that is.
But you know, like, I've had a few relationships and everything.
I've had a few relationships and everything, but like, I'm a people person, and like, that would be...
I've had a few glimpses of it and it's beautiful.
Dang.
Okay.
Mine are so much more superficial.
But like material things don't make me happy, you know?
Yeah.
Well, it's like, I want to five some on top of the Eiffel Tower.
Yeah, he's like, he wants to buy a boat.
I actually had that conversation with Austin show last night and he couldn't name anything that wasn't sex.
Yeah, he has a problem.
That's the least surprising thing I've ever heard.
He's like, he's a monster.
He came to the realization he wanted to have like a coached orgy.
Oh my God.
He wanted an orgy, but with like airplane traffic controller.
I love how he somehow made this like vain process even more.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Vain.
He is a unique bug, that one.
Yeah.
He also has a lot of anxieties, much like you.
I haven't met him yet.
He seems like a funny guy.
He is really funny.
He is like, a lot of people don't realize how funny he is.
He's great in doses.
No, he's great, Alex.
I like a daily dose.
Yeah, I like a daily dose of Austin.
You can get a little bit much.
He's a diva.
He's like, shows up to a place before saying hello.
It's like, is the air conditioner on?
So you've been unlucky in love thus far.
I don't know about unlucky.
It's more like I've got my own things I'm kind of battling right now.
So therapy is great.
Okay, what's the second thing on your bucket list that does not involve a significant amount of, I don't know, just trying to make friends and meet new people.
God damn it.
Give me something new.
No, like, that's literally what I'm addicted to right now.
Fuck.
You're too goddamn.
No, here's a situation.
He wants to murder someone with her bare hands.
I want to open an orphanage.
Yeah.
No, like, because like growing up, I was like, I never talked, I didn't have any friends in high school.
Like, I was like, I was, I was sitting at the weird kid table in high school.
Like, I never had friends.
Like, to give you an example, how where I was in high school, it would be me and three other people.
One was this Asian woman who did not speak English.
Another one was a heroin addict who taught us how to inject heroin.
Kind of cool to learn, though.
He said, you have to inject it in your toes because that way no one knows.
Yeah, no marks.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then he's, and then some other chubby guy that would produce milk from his nipples.
Wait, that's crazy.
So those are my three.
So you had free milk and free heroin and maybe even learned Mandarin?
That's awesome.
Those were my three friends in high school.
Do you think that that upbringing gave you unique insight into the internet and helped develop your early product?
Yeah, maybe, but I didn't have full access to the internet until I was 18.
Oh my God.
Because I was on parental controls, you know, at a pretty strict level.
I don't help me or heal me.
But not you, son.
We're filming.
What are you doing right now?
Just open the door.
Hi, bud.
See you later.
Yes, please.
Bye-bye, buddy.
Include that.
That was good.
Dude, living.
Oh, my God.
Hey, listeners, what you just missed is Marsh just cut out.
No, you can keep it.
That is insane.
So you had strict parental.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I guess I did, but I can't.
Yeah, me too, by the way.
Really?
The man that you just saw peek in here to be like, hey, someone's at the door.
Instead of just opening the door.
Yeah, they wouldn't let me play any video games.
Really?
Well, they wouldn't let me play any video games on the internet.
So I had to play Dolta secretly.
Oh, yeah.
So my dad didn't let me play video games.
Like, well, like bloody video games like Call of Duty.
He hated me playing Call of Duty.
He's like, you're going to turn into one of those school shooters or something, you know?
It's always local news.
No, it's always, you know what?
That's interesting that you say that because it's literally local news.
Like they wouldn't let me play.
They wouldn't let me play online games because they thought like a pedophile would like groom me if I played online video games because they probably saw like news coverage.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And then and then that stuck with them.
Same with like, oh, video games cause mass shootings.
So you were deprived of the internet till 18.
Did you binge when you were out of the home?
Did you just gorge yourself on internet?
I don't know, but I...
He made it his life.
What do you mean?
Yeah, it is his life.
Yeah, so I definitely, I think that sheltering made me like a little more wholesome.
So I'm less, I don't know.
I feel like I'm more wholesome than most people.
So we'll never get a daily dose compilation.
Whoa.
These are hard-hitting questions.
Sorry for that hard-hitting question.
That was hard.
These are hard-hitting questions.
I don't know.
I'm not going to respond to that.
My co-worker here is a little.
Kitty, have you ever watched a compilation?
I, you know, admittedly, I shouldn't have watched this.
Well, I got it.
I got clickbaited.
It was like, you got clickbait?
No.
Stop.
Let her cook.
Yeah.
I know what she's about to say.
Go on.
Pokemon standing up compilation.
I was like, horniness.
I was like, what could this consist of?
And I watched it.
It's just her walking away from her desk a hundred times.
And I was like, wow.
Someone is making money.
She watched all 100 times.
I loved it.
You didn't turn it up.
It was so good.
Was he good?
Yeah.
Was she standing up well?
She stood up.
She got sturdy with it.
A few times.
Yeah.
Cool.
But I get clickbaited into those all the time.
Actually, Mia Malkova the other day tweeted.
She was like, this is my, this is my better Twitter account.
And I was like, okay.
And then I was like, oh, okay.
Oh, yeah.
I get clickbaited a lot.
That is, that is one thing that I've noticed is I have a lot of friends who make risque content.
And when I'm on an airplane, right, trying to get Jets updates.
Oh, you have to mute.
Sometimes I'll be like, ah!
Yeah.
No, you have to mute them.
Really showed up.
I'm mostly muted.
I scroll Twitter all the time as a part of my stream.
And I learned very early on: if you have a sex worker friend, you have to mute them.
Because if you don't, they will show up on your timeline.
And Soda Poppin.
You know, the only time I almost ever got banned is because I was like, I went to Soda Poppin's Twitter and I clicked on his replies.
Because I was like, Soda's unhinged on Twitter is what I'm telling on my stream.
And I click on his replies and he's just replying to titty pics.
And I was like, Soda!
Yeah.
Yeah, he's out of this world.
So I think, but this is something Ludwig talks about.
He talks about horny gap, where like a lot of guys fail in like their career or their relationships because they get too horny and they like quit or they like get distracted.
And that's what, like, Ned from Try Guys, perfect example.
Horny gap.
He lost everything.
Penis Enlargement Talk00:09:12
Yeah.
You can't be wife guy and then cheat.
I think it stems from a place of a lack of experience.
Ah, dude, the internet's so horny.
Anybody?
No, no.
Like, bro, but you're on the internet.
I'm on the internet.
Like, sometimes horny.
Devastatingly horny.
Okay, that's fair.
But I, I, but I'm open about my.
But when you're, I think, like, like, I've been in relationships while being on the internet and my eyes have never wandered, but also because, like, you know, I, I take a long ass time to get to that position.
And when I'm single, I'm just, you know.
Well, when it's right, when it's right, when the person that you're with just blocks out everyone else.
It's really cool.
Yeah.
I don't, I don't have like well, then you haven't gotten horny gapped.
I think it's because like, I think it's because like when I think when I'm single, I just do whatever I want.
That's it.
You know what I mean?
Oh, so you're saying you work it out of your system.
Yeah.
So you don't have to worry about it.
That's what you're supposed to do.
I think when you're single, you're supposed to just like work it out of your, work it out of your system.
Bro, I nut once a day.
Like, I'm just letting you know.
Propecia lowered my libido to a degree where I have like a normal male's libido now.
What's that?
It's what we take to maintain our hairline.
You don't have that problem, do you?
No, It's weird, though, because aren't you supposed to lose your hair if your mother's grandpa on your mom's side?
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay.
Very bald.
My grandpa is very bald and I'm not balding.
But you're also just turning 30.
Yeah, but when does it happen?
He might have hit one of those nice recessive alleles.
You know what I mean?
I don't know.
If it does happen, I'm just going to shave it off.
But also, we have technology nowadays.
You can just put it back.
No, that's the one thing that technology is not like definitely fixed.
Because if that was the case, Jeff Bezos would not be bald.
Elon Musk's hair plugs would not be leaving his hair regularly.
That is the one instance where they haven't hit that sweet spot.
That and like penis enlargement, I would say is like that last episode.
The tooth is like yeah, you missed it.
She had some foreknas good ideas.
You know what's interesting about penis enlargement?
If it existed, everyone would enlarge this.
That would be the most common because even dudes, listen, I don't care if you have a 12-inch every person's cervix would be suffering.
It's like there's always a bigger fish.
I know guys with hogs and they're like, I wish I could punch it up a little bit.
Because where would you stop?
I'm very fond of it.
Where would you stop?
I'm very fond of my penis.
I would definitely get it.
It would be an annual thing for me.
I'd be like, I'm at 15 solid, but I could always go bigger.
You know, it's like with breast implants, they just always went bigger.
Yeah, you know what it is.
They always went bigger.
No, that's literally what.
Okay, you just cracked the code.
Yeah.
Because like women have the capacity to stop.
Yes.
And plenty do.
Sometimes like some ladies will get like, you know, they'll go for a C-cup.
If they're like an A-cup.
Yeah.
And he's like, nice round B. You know, a little bit of retrosé, right?
Retroce.
And then they'll stop.
Men have no capacity.
Like, if it was as easy to get penis enlargement as it is for like, you know, a titty enlargement, you're right.
People will be walking around.
You'd have like CEOs shaking hands and their penises are falling out of their fucking packies.
He would tuck the tip of his cock into his crock.
No, I could see Ludwig not getting penis enlargement for like the quirkiness of not getting it, you know?
Ludwig's, we're all getting it.
We'd all get it.
It's just so large.
He doesn't need it.
The cat.
Everybody's getting penis enlargement.
Billy Rave Brains is getting penis.
I don't know if Daily Dose would get a penis enlargement.
You're too wholesome.
He's got it.
I'm happy.
He's happy.
You got a monster.
I have no complaints.
I have no complaints.
I'm very happy.
I mean, I'm happy too.
Confidence and it only comes from a man who has an absolute sea monster.
I think you can always...
No, I think you can always go bigger.
I'm telling you, I'd be out here with a 15-inch.
It could be funny, though.
Yeah, like a funny.
I'd just test it, you know?
I think it'd be funny.
You could wear it as a scarf.
Yeah.
Just a flesh scarf.
Oh, God.
It's going to be a weird time for humanity with a penis enlargement.
Yeah.
Do you think that there are men out there who would use a cadaver's penis?
You were literally doing the thing that she was talking about last Patreon episode.
Patreon episode, Patreon.com slash fear and yeah, she brought that up.
Like she was just saying that.
Do you think that they haven't done that because they're worried that organ donors would there would be a significant drop-off because men wouldn't want their hog harvested?
No, my idea was that you could sell it like free trade.
Yeah.
What's the full thing you're talking about?
Well, imagine this.
Okay, go for it.
Patreon.com slash fear and that's what you have to imagine.
We'll dive into it a little more, but essentially, you chop it off and you say.
She said homeless people should be able to give their fat hogs to like rich people so they can get it.
Joe has a seven-incher.
He doesn't care for it.
That is the logical limit of capitalism.
I know.
We need to make a movie.
No, but we're that critique.
She called it a utopia.
And I was like, in your utopian society, there's still homeless people.
Not out of their selling it.
Who needs to sell their cops?
Sell their penis.
They don't, they're not homeless.
They don't care about, they don't want it.
They don't care about it.
I don't know about that.
I think most men would rather be homeless than lose their dick.
Really?
Well, no, they trade it.
No, Yeah, they trade it down.
They wake up with a stranger's small penis.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's wild.
But we'll continue to get more wild on the Patreon proportion.
Yeah, you were a little late.
So we started.
It's not my fault.
I live four hours away.
No, I know.
Well, that is your, that is literally your fault.
Before we get into the paid portion, I would just like to thank the Daily Dose of the Internet.
Thank you.
I think you, in a very humble way, undervalue your product.
I think a lot of people set their watch by it.
It's a calming presence.
Makes something tremendous.
And it was great to have your perspective on that.
Thank you so much, Will.
I really appreciate it.
Where can people find you, Daily Dose?
YouTube.com/slash Daily Dose Internet.
All right.
We're here.
I know.
What are you singing at the Christmas concert?
You were tricking him out.
Wait, you do want to sing?
I'll sing.
Why would I not want to sing?
Or, or he reads the night before Christmas.
All right, Argo, yeah.
I don't.
In the Daily Dose voice that everyone loves, shut it down, shut it down.
Wait, that was genius.
Whatever you want me to do, I'm fine.
I am.
You are tricking him out.
No, no, no.
There's something about you that I see in myself, and that's why I invite you to so many things.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't really like.
I need someone to drag me along to do things.
I don't really.
I'm a dragger.
Yes.
Thank you for dragging me to places.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, she's a dragger.
All right.
She's a dragger.
You do not know what you just unlocked.
Okay.
Yeah, well.
She will also publicly shame you.
You would be screwed.
Go for it.
Yeah.
She will publicly shame you and like will tweet out messages.
I saw you telling him to be a no one.
Listen, I already told Will that you were his understudy in case you don't show up.
Yeah.
But there's just no one would be a better Scrooge because then people will be like really mad.
You know, you'll get canceled.
It'll help the concert.
There's not a better Scrooge.
Probably the most overqualified understudy in the world.
You are.
Will would be a better actor in Scrooge, but you are just better.
Why?
Can we mention one thing before?
Oh, he's a great.
No, Before we go, did you cast him as Scrooge because he's Muslim?
Be honest.
It is giving Islamophobia, cutie.
Everyone is thinking it.
Yeah.
Everyone is thinking it.
I didn't know that was a thing.
Yeah.
Do you hate Christmas?
I did it because people hate you for being rich.
Oh, and you're clouded.
That's funny.
Yeah.
Anyway, we'll talk more about cutie's Islamophobia behind the payball at patreon.com slash fear and see you on the other side.
What do you mean?
You could just have a gun in the classroom.
Yeah, they will let you do that in Florida.
Yeah, I guess you could.
But like being like a substitute teacher would be cool.
That would be cool.
You don't want to be a substitute teacher.
Like, oh, yeah, Mr. King is here.
Hell yeah.
Plus, then the roulette is kind of on your side.
You know, what's the chances that that's the day?
But everyone loves their substitute teacher.
Like, everyone remembers that cool substitute teacher they had in school.