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Sept. 23, 2025 - Tate Speech - Andrew Tate
17:15
The World’s Best Shisha | Tate Confidential Ep 322
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Time Text
Canyon of Poo-Poo 00:06:28
You thought you were a mountain of conquest.
You're actually a canyon of poo-poo.
He swore to God, he swore his life.
Who knows?
And now that I think about it, I think I always envisioned him as black.
You think you're a mountain of conquest, but you're actually a canyon of poo-poo.
Fair.
What good man says poo-poo is that?
I'm just saying, listen.
I don't like what you are.
Nobody likes what you are.
I'm just pointing it out.
Yeah.
You're a canyon of poo-poo, and you're never gonna beat me at Smash Bros.
Yeah, fair.
You think you're a mountain of conquest?
What are you gonna do?
I just pick up the controller, bro.
What do you want me to do?
I can't help but think you fucking suck.
Don't shoot the message, Marcel.
There's no other group of men boarding a jet, calling things poo-poo.
This just isn't.
A mountain of poo-poo isn't a thing.
A canyon of poo-poo.
You thought you were a mountain of conquest, but you're actually a canyon of poo-poo.
Why am I here?
You'll never recover, financially.
Seven, nine, I'll turn left, any zero, six, zero?
Yeah, we need contact, what are we doing?
Where are we going?
Andrew decided to ask for the air conditioning to be turned off.
This is now the hottest plane in Turkey.
Yeah, it's pretty hot.
It's pretty.
Excuse me.
My brother's very stupid.
Can you put the air conditioning back on?
Whoa.
We out-voted him.
You think you're a mountain of conquest, but you're actually a canyon of poo-poo.
Poo-poo.
You're poo-poo canyon.
Thank you.
I hope it's cold in Pooh Canyon.
Why are we on a plane?
Going to Turkey.
Why?
See if you arrested him.
What's in Turkey?
Well, long story.
Turkish people.
Ice cream.
Okay, okay.
No shit.
Well, you are American, so I thought you didn't know.
Why are we going to Turkey?
Well, I might be building a boat, and then I want to go check on it.
We're building a super yacht, so we have to go check out the map.
We might be building a super yacht.
Allegedly.
Allegedly on house arrest, Tristan convinced me for us to build a super yacht.
Allegedly.
So we're going to allegedly go look at it.
Because you have to break a champagne bottle over the hull.
Otherwise, it's bad luck.
At the beginning, and we need it.
Yeah.
Fuck you.
We need luck.
So I'll risk getting arrested on land to have luck at sea.
That's fine.
100%.
What is the name of the guy?
I was thinking of calling it.
Hear me out.
It's going to be very dark in color, and it's shaped like this.
So it looks kind of like a knife.
I'm thinking of calling it the Marcel Mummies.
The Never Lost.
Real bad yacht.
Yarding.
Yarn.
Yarn.
Worry about it.
This is for you.
No, it's for you, friend.
Sure.
Yeah, don't worry about it, yeah.
Marcel, what do you think of the jet?
It's a bit small.
I'm gonna be honest.
I'm used to bigger and better things.
It's a little bit small.
In his defense, Andrew.
We float on really big jets, but we float on loads of smaller ones.
Marcel's only really flown on big jets.
So, why are you downgrading his lifestyle this way?
I'm just saying, my jets are usually bigger, but hey, you know what happens on the big jets?
Uno comes out, people lose.
I've never lost.
Some people lose.
I'm getting you.
I have never lost Uno.
You have never lost Uno.
Lost on the chest.
So you didn't want one with a big table.
Sexual.
You will never beat me, Uno.
Uno.
No.
Pussio!
On my jet!
April 23rd, you lost.
On my jet!
My jet!
April 23rd, you lost to me!
Never.
Uno.
On it.
I've never lost a game of Uno in my entire life.
I've never gone.
I swear on my best friend Marcel's good fortune.
I have never lost a game of food, though, ever.
I'm Finding You In Another World 00:07:17
This love lasts forever.
Just get lost in night.
I insert the sun on the light.
It's going shining.
Does the violent shadow you in another world in another world?
I'm finding you in another world.
In another world.
A planet and all being dark in diamond space.
I'd love you forever.
I'll let you walk away.
Can we take photos?
Please.
Really quick.
Please.
Last one.
You want my idea?
Alright, guys.
Please, thank you.
Thank you.
That's it, guys.
That's it.
Cheers.
Thank you.
So, Luke, you're wearing the same things you were wearing in the buy?
Yeah.
Since Dubai, you've made at least $15 million.
America, too.
These are my clothes.
You know what sells trousers?
Pronunciate.
Let me buy you a new outfit.
No, I'm good.
Rolex?
Nope.
Sure, you don't have a watch on them.
I don't need a watch.
Hublow over there.
No, these are my favorite jeans.
Would you like a diamond AP?
By a diamond.
No, thanks.
Buy a different hat or t-shirt.
No, thanks.
New shoes?
Nope.
Favorite shoes.
Luke, you got paid at least 15 to 20 million last three months.
These are my favorite things.
Bailey, why would I need more things?
New pouch?
No, I like this pouch.
This is my favorite pouch.
Well, in fact, it's a little bit broken, but I've decided because I keep breaking them, so I have to keep buying new ones.
I decided just to adapt.
in the pouch i think ah the world can never know that That's classified information.
My pouch only has limited amount of space.
One like a yeska.
No.
Daddy?
No.
Nothing.
I don't drive anymore.
I retired on driving.
We already knew this.
We were established.
It's like a big fat diamond shank.
No.
Let's get Luke a boat the same size as ours.
No, I don't need a boat.
And call it...
The...
I can't even say it.
The Denin.
That's a good name.
It's a good name.
Good name.
Paint Blue.
Okay, okay.
But no thanks.
Should we buy Luke a brand new outfit?
No, Luke.
What do you want us to buy you?
Nothing.
You have anything.
I don't need anything.
When I was your age, it was my dream to come here and be able to get anything out of it.
Yeah.
I don't need anything.
You can do that.
Anything you want in the world.
Nothing.
If I want it, I'd have it.
I don't need it.
So you're going to wear the same t-shirt and same jeans you've been wearing since the beginning of the day.
Maybe a new hat.
Maybe.
I'd look a new hat.
In fact, I'm realizing every single time I travel, I need less and less.
I have to think.
Wait, what did I used to put in my bags?
I don't need this, don't need that.
I'm taking it to the hat shop.
Yeah, but I want like a touristy hat.
You know, like those tourist hats.
That have a little logo of exactly where we are now.
We need to get a bottle.
No, a fancy hat.
It can't be fancy.
That's the 10 Euro max.
Hey, you said hat.
Yeah.
Most expensive hat in Balkan.
Most expensive hat in the bottom.
Best in the world.
The best in the world.
Surprise me.
Bring me three different flavors.
Surprise me.
Do you want something fresh or sweet?
Surprise him.
Okay.
And answer it.
Do you want a classic one?
Finally, the special one.
That's the special one.
The special one is like, we have a flavor in the middle.
Special one.
Okay.
Thank you.
How much is 15,000 Turkish?
What does that have?
What do you think is that?
It is $400 or less.
That's a shisha.
Let's try it.
Best in the world.
Best in the world.
So if it's the best in the world, I actually have really high hopes because...
It's a super bold claim.
That is a big deal.
It's a tells of the guy who's been everywhere, smoking shisha everywhere.
It's a very bold claim to say, wait, this shisha is the best in the world.
I mean, he basically put his life on the line.
Yeah.
Because someone has to pay for deception.
Obviously, you've got to do it.
I've been there before.
Say again?
I've been there before.
True.
You did do this.
You're not being your camera before.
You can't lie.
Guys, you can't lie.
So now we have to decide on waiting.
We said we're going to give him exactly two years and 286 days for the sign.
He's not the best cameraman in the world, is he?
We should kill him.
Wait, what?
Bailey gave us a video.
Bailey's original video.
I'm the best cameraman in the world.
Drive me out.
Lovely.
Didn't us three agree that tonight was the night where we decided?
No, tonight was the night we decided if you're actually Luke's cousin.
And if I'm not.
Or if you're a liar.
Personally, I think he's been lying.
I'm an Italian cum man who's wormed his way into your family.
What's your name?
Emilio Largo.
Emilio Largo's here.
I'm Darko Korean.
I'm Felix.
You are.
Felix Lyter.
No, you're Eugene Carmichael.
Isn't Felix Lighter black?
Blue.
No?
In the movies.
In the books, he's a Texan.
He's American, an American Texan.
Yeah, they did make him black.
They blacked him.
Cowboy hat.
Yeah, I remember him as black.
The movies got me.
They DEI'd him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The disappointment on Tristan's.
Tristan, I'm disappointed now.
I've listened to a lot of those books with Tristan.
Cardinal Sid.
And now that I think about it, I think I always envisioned him as black.
Spying would have been so cool in the 50s.
Having a cigarette, being in the hotel lobby, the only good hotel in the city, seeing the other important people, hearing things, having a nice car, fucking the women, da-da-da.
Now it's single.
Now spying is being a fucking autistic retard sitting at MI6HQ.
You're a diversity hire because you speak Hindi and you're sitting there as a little Indian tapping into white people's accounts, seeing if they're mad that they lost their country.
You're going, I got the spaying the party and he does nothing like the curry and he claimed spying for 35,000 pounds a year.
There's no James Button spy, even spying is becoming king.
There's nothing cool left at all.
It's not James Bond, it's just James, think of something Indian that rhymes with Bond, damn it.
Make a fucking joke.
You are shit.
Why are you even in this shop?
Fucking useless.
Remember when Tristan thought there'd be no cats here in Turkey?
Spies and Curry 00:03:18
Oh yeah.
We didn't even feel overtake home in Neil.
Tristan was swore to God.
He swore his life.
There'd be no cats in Turkey.
None.
I was there.
I was there.
That's how you remember it going down.
And now every single time I see a cat, I have to point it out just to show to him how wrong he was.
That is true.
I swore on my life and every male member of my family's life that there were no cats in Turkey.
I did do that.
Bailey, all I said was, you know, I think there might be some cats in Turkey.
That's all I said.
I don't know where that's for you, Shit.
Yes, that's what I said.
That's what started it.
And then he started talking about how there's no cats in Turkey at all.
That's what happened there.
I was there.
It means it's the best sushi in the world.
It means it's the best sushi.
You promised, right?
Just suspicious shit.
He's confident.
All right, he's confident.
He's confident.
I'm so excited about you.
Ah, bro.
Me too.
I've been had shisha in two days and then we had to go back to jail.
It's stressful.
Even I'm excited.
I'm excited.
It does smell pretty good.
It does.
It does, that was it.
Put this shit over there in the corner.
It's for him, yeah.
It's pretty good.
I wouldn't say it's the best in the world yet.
But it is pretty good.
But he's alive.
I can't murder him in his face.
I wouldn't say it's the best in the world.
He's in the picture.
It's nine out of the best.
Nine out of the best.
Oh now that's a cloud.
I'll tell you when it's done.
9.5. 82 seconds.
Not Smart Dankak 00:00:11
This is not smart.
Dankak.
Purotulumus Silak Delamiri.
It is not smart.
You want Poseidon on your side on a bow, bro.
Yeah, we're black guy in the cage.
Girls are like, what's that?
What's that?
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