Tate Speech - Andrew Tate - The World’s Best Shisha | Tate Confidential Ep 322
Aired: 2025-09-23
Duration: 17:15


=== Canyon of Poo-Poo (06:28) ===

[00:00:00]  You thought you were a mountain of conquest.
[00:00:02]  You're actually a canyon of poo-poo.
[00:00:03]  He swore to God, he swore his life.
[00:00:06]  Who knows?
[00:00:07]  And now that I think about it, I think I always envisioned him as black.
[00:00:17]  You think you're a mountain of conquest, but you're actually a canyon of poo-poo.
[00:00:23]  Fair.
[00:00:25]  What good man says poo-poo is that?
[00:00:27]  I'm just saying, listen.
[00:00:29]  I don't like what you are.
[00:00:31]  Nobody likes what you are.
[00:00:32]  I'm just pointing it out.
[00:00:34]  Yeah.
[00:00:34]  You're a canyon of poo-poo, and you're never gonna beat me at Smash Bros.
[00:00:38]  Yeah, fair.
[00:00:39]  You think you're a mountain of conquest?
[00:00:40]  What are you gonna do?
[00:00:42]  I just pick up the controller, bro.
[00:00:43]  What do you want me to do?
[00:00:44]  I can't help but think you fucking suck.
[00:00:46]  Don't shoot the message, Marcel.
[00:00:47]  There's no other group of men boarding a jet, calling things poo-poo.
[00:00:54]  This just isn't.
[00:00:56]  A mountain of poo-poo isn't a thing.
[00:00:59]  A canyon of poo-poo.
[00:01:01]  You thought you were a mountain of conquest, but you're actually a canyon of poo-poo.
[00:01:07]  Why am I here?
[00:01:09]  You'll never recover, financially.
[00:01:30]  Seven, nine, I'll turn left, any zero, six, zero?
[00:01:36]  Yeah, we need contact, what are we doing?
[00:01:38]  Where are we going?
[00:01:40]  Andrew decided to ask for the air conditioning to be turned off.
[00:01:44]  This is now the hottest plane in Turkey.
[00:01:46]  Yeah, it's pretty hot.
[00:01:47]  It's pretty.
[00:01:48]  Excuse me.
[00:01:49]  My brother's very stupid.
[00:01:50]  Can you put the air conditioning back on?
[00:01:52]  Whoa.
[00:01:53]  We out-voted him.
[00:01:57]  You think you're a mountain of conquest, but you're actually a canyon of poo-poo.
[00:02:03]  Poo-poo.
[00:02:04]  You're poo-poo canyon.
[00:02:07]  Thank you.
[00:02:07]  I hope it's cold in Pooh Canyon.
[00:02:11]  Why are we on a plane?
[00:02:13]  Going to Turkey.
[00:02:14]  Why?
[00:02:15]  See if you arrested him.
[00:02:18]  What's in Turkey?
[00:02:22]  Well, long story.
[00:02:25]  Turkish people.
[00:02:26]  Ice cream.
[00:02:27]  Okay, okay.
[00:02:31]  No shit.
[00:02:32]  Well, you are American, so I thought you didn't know.
[00:02:35]  Why are we going to Turkey?
[00:02:37]  Well, I might be building a boat, and then I want to go check on it.
[00:02:42]  We're building a super yacht, so we have to go check out the map.
[00:02:44]  We might be building a super yacht.
[00:02:46]  Allegedly.
[00:02:47]  Allegedly on house arrest, Tristan convinced me for us to build a super yacht.
[00:02:52]  Allegedly.
[00:02:53]  So we're going to allegedly go look at it.
[00:02:56]  Because you have to break a champagne bottle over the hull.
[00:02:59]  Otherwise, it's bad luck.
[00:03:00]  At the beginning, and we need it.
[00:03:02]  Yeah.
[00:03:02]  Fuck you.
[00:03:03]  We need luck.
[00:03:04]  So I'll risk getting arrested on land to have luck at sea.
[00:03:07]  That's fine.
[00:03:08]  100%.
[00:03:09]  What is the name of the guy?
[00:03:12]  I was thinking of calling it.
[00:03:14]  Hear me out.
[00:03:14]  It's going to be very dark in color, and it's shaped like this.
[00:03:17]  So it looks kind of like a knife.
[00:03:19]  I'm thinking of calling it the Marcel Mummies.
[00:03:25]  The Never Lost.
[00:03:29]  Real bad yacht.
[00:03:33]  Yarding.
[00:03:34]  Yarn.
[00:03:35]  Yarn.
[00:03:37]  Worry about it.
[00:03:38]  This is for you.
[00:03:39]  No, it's for you, friend.
[00:03:41]  Sure.
[00:03:42]  Yeah, don't worry about it, yeah.
[00:03:44]  Marcel, what do you think of the jet?
[00:03:45]  It's a bit small.
[00:03:47]  I'm gonna be honest.
[00:03:49]  I'm used to bigger and better things.
[00:03:51]  It's a little bit small.
[00:03:54]  In his defense, Andrew.
[00:03:55]  We float on really big jets, but we float on loads of smaller ones.
[00:03:59]  Marcel's only really flown on big jets.
[00:04:02]  So, why are you downgrading his lifestyle this way?
[00:04:07]  I'm just saying, my jets are usually bigger, but hey, you know what happens on the big jets?
[00:04:12]  Uno comes out, people lose.
[00:04:15]  I've never lost.
[00:04:16]  Some people lose.
[00:04:17]  I'm getting you.
[00:04:19]  I have never lost Uno.
[00:04:21]  You have never lost Uno.
[00:04:23]  Lost on the chest.
[00:04:24]  So you didn't want one with a big table.
[00:04:26]  Sexual.
[00:04:26]  You will never beat me, Uno.
[00:04:30]  Uno.
[00:04:32]  No.
[00:04:34]  Pussio!
[00:04:35]  On my jet!
[00:04:36]  April 23rd, you lost.
[00:04:39]  On my jet!
[00:04:40]  My jet!
[00:04:42]  April 23rd, you lost to me!
[00:04:46]  Never.
[00:04:51]  Uno.
[00:04:53]  On it.
[00:04:54]  I've never lost a game of Uno in my entire life.
[00:04:59]  I've never gone.
[00:04:59]  I swear on my best friend Marcel's good fortune.
[00:05:03]  I have never lost a game of food, though, ever.

=== I'm Finding You In Another World (07:17) ===

[00:06:28]  This love lasts forever.
[00:06:32]  Just get lost in night.
[00:06:36]  I insert the sun on the light.
[00:06:41]  It's going shining.
[00:06:44]  Does the violent shadow you in another world in another world?
[00:07:07]  I'm finding you in another world.
[00:07:18]  In another world.
[00:07:40]  A planet and all being dark in diamond space.
[00:07:48]  I'd love you forever.
[00:07:52]  I'll let you walk away.
[00:07:58]  Can we take photos?
[00:07:59]  Please.
[00:07:59]  Really quick.
[00:08:00]  Please.
[00:08:00]  Last one.
[00:08:02]  You want my idea?
[00:08:05]  Alright, guys.
[00:08:06]  Please, thank you.
[00:08:07]  Thank you.
[00:08:09]  That's it, guys.
[00:08:10]  That's it.
[00:08:10]  Cheers.
[00:08:11]  Thank you.
[00:08:13]  So, Luke, you're wearing the same things you were wearing in the buy?
[00:08:16]  Yeah.
[00:08:16]  Since Dubai, you've made at least $15 million.
[00:08:19]  America, too.
[00:08:20]  These are my clothes.
[00:08:21]  You know what sells trousers?
[00:08:22]  Pronunciate.
[00:08:23]  Let me buy you a new outfit.
[00:08:24]  No, I'm good.
[00:08:25]  Rolex?
[00:08:26]  Nope.
[00:08:27]  Sure, you don't have a watch on them.
[00:08:29]  I don't need a watch.
[00:08:29]  Hublow over there.
[00:08:30]  No, these are my favorite jeans.
[00:08:31]  Would you like a diamond AP?
[00:08:32]  By a diamond.
[00:08:33]  No, thanks.
[00:08:33]  Buy a different hat or t-shirt.
[00:08:35]  No, thanks.
[00:08:36]  New shoes?
[00:08:36]  Nope.
[00:08:37]  Favorite shoes.
[00:08:38]  Luke, you got paid at least 15 to 20 million last three months.
[00:08:42]  These are my favorite things.
[00:08:44]  Bailey, why would I need more things?
[00:08:46]  New pouch?
[00:08:47]  No, I like this pouch.
[00:08:48]  This is my favorite pouch.
[00:08:49]  Well, in fact, it's a little bit broken, but I've decided because I keep breaking them, so I have to keep buying new ones.
[00:08:53]  I decided just to adapt.
[00:08:54]  in the pouch i think ah the world can never know that That's classified information.
[00:09:00]  My pouch only has limited amount of space.
[00:09:01]  One like a yeska.
[00:09:02]  No.
[00:09:03]  Daddy?
[00:09:03]  No.
[00:09:04]  Nothing.
[00:09:04]  I don't drive anymore.
[00:09:06]  I retired on driving.
[00:09:07]  We already knew this.
[00:09:08]  We were established.
[00:09:09]  It's like a big fat diamond shank.
[00:09:10]  No.
[00:09:12]  Let's get Luke a boat the same size as ours.
[00:09:15]  No, I don't need a boat.
[00:09:16]  And call it...
[00:09:17]  The...
[00:09:17]  I can't even say it.
[00:09:19]  The Denin.
[00:09:20]  That's a good name.
[00:09:22]  It's a good name.
[00:09:24]  Good name.
[00:09:24]  Paint Blue.
[00:09:25]  Okay, okay.
[00:09:26]  But no thanks.
[00:09:26]  Should we buy Luke a brand new outfit?
[00:09:28]  No, Luke.
[00:09:28]  What do you want us to buy you?
[00:09:30]  Nothing.
[00:09:30]  You have anything.
[00:09:32]  I don't need anything.
[00:09:33]  When I was your age, it was my dream to come here and be able to get anything out of it.
[00:09:35]  Yeah.
[00:09:35]  I don't need anything.
[00:09:36]  You can do that.
[00:09:37]  Anything you want in the world.
[00:09:38]  Nothing.
[00:09:39]  If I want it, I'd have it.
[00:09:41]  I don't need it.
[00:09:42]  So you're going to wear the same t-shirt and same jeans you've been wearing since the beginning of the day.
[00:09:45]  Maybe a new hat.
[00:09:48]  Maybe.
[00:09:49]  I'd look a new hat.
[00:09:52]  In fact, I'm realizing every single time I travel, I need less and less.
[00:10:07]  I have to think.
[00:10:08]  Wait, what did I used to put in my bags?
[00:10:11]  I don't need this, don't need that.
[00:10:14]  I'm taking it to the hat shop.
[00:10:18]  Yeah, but I want like a touristy hat.
[00:10:20]  You know, like those tourist hats.
[00:10:21]  That have a little logo of exactly where we are now.
[00:10:25]  We need to get a bottle.
[00:10:26]  No, a fancy hat.
[00:10:27]  It can't be fancy.
[00:10:29]  That's the 10 Euro max.
[00:10:30]  Hey, you said hat.
[00:10:32]  Yeah.
[00:10:33]  Most expensive hat in Balkan.
[00:10:37]  Most expensive hat in the bottom.
[00:10:48]  Best in the world.
[00:10:49]  The best in the world.
[00:10:50]  Surprise me.
[00:10:50]  Bring me three different flavors.
[00:10:53]  Surprise me.
[00:10:54]  Do you want something fresh or sweet?
[00:10:56]  Surprise him.
[00:10:57]  Okay.
[00:10:58]  And answer it.
[00:10:59]  Do you want a classic one?
[00:11:00]  Finally, the special one.
[00:11:02]  That's the special one.
[00:11:03]  The special one is like, we have a flavor in the middle.
[00:11:05]  Special one.
[00:11:06]  Okay.
[00:11:06]  Thank you.
[00:11:08]  How much is 15,000 Turkish?
[00:11:09]  What does that have?
[00:11:10]  What do you think is that?
[00:11:11]  It is $400 or less.
[00:11:14]  That's a shisha.
[00:11:15]  Let's try it.
[00:11:16]  Best in the world.
[00:11:17]  Best in the world.
[00:11:17]  So if it's the best in the world, I actually have really high hopes because...
[00:11:20]  It's a super bold claim.
[00:11:22]  That is a big deal.
[00:11:22]  It's a tells of the guy who's been everywhere, smoking shisha everywhere.
[00:11:25]  It's a very bold claim to say, wait, this shisha is the best in the world.
[00:11:28]  I mean, he basically put his life on the line.
[00:11:30]  Yeah.
[00:11:31]  Because someone has to pay for deception.
[00:11:33]  Obviously, you've got to do it.
[00:11:33]  I've been there before.
[00:11:34]  Say again?
[00:11:35]  I've been there before.
[00:11:36]  True.
[00:11:36]  You did do this.
[00:11:37]  You're not being your camera before.
[00:11:38]  You can't lie.
[00:11:39]  Guys, you can't lie.
[00:11:40]  So now we have to decide on waiting.
[00:11:42]  We said we're going to give him exactly two years and 286 days for the sign.
[00:11:46]  He's not the best cameraman in the world, is he?
[00:11:48]  We should kill him.
[00:11:50]  Wait, what?
[00:11:51]  Bailey gave us a video.
[00:11:52]  Bailey's original video.
[00:11:53]  I'm the best cameraman in the world.
[00:11:55]  Drive me out.
[00:11:55]  Lovely.
[00:11:56]  Didn't us three agree that tonight was the night where we decided?
[00:11:59]  No, tonight was the night we decided if you're actually Luke's cousin.
[00:12:03]  And if I'm not.
[00:12:04]  Or if you're a liar.
[00:12:07]  Personally, I think he's been lying.
[00:12:08]  I'm an Italian cum man who's wormed his way into your family.
[00:12:11]  What's your name?
[00:12:12]  Emilio Largo.
[00:12:15]  Emilio Largo's here.
[00:12:16]  I'm Darko Korean.
[00:12:20]  I'm Felix.
[00:12:22]  You are.
[00:12:23]  Felix Lyter.
[00:12:24]  No, you're Eugene Carmichael.
[00:12:25]  Isn't Felix Lighter black?
[00:12:27]  Blue.
[00:12:27]  No?
[00:12:28]  In the movies.
[00:12:30]  In the books, he's a Texan.
[00:12:31]  He's American, an American Texan.
[00:12:33]  Yeah, they did make him black.
[00:12:34]  They blacked him.
[00:12:35]  Cowboy hat.
[00:12:36]  Yeah, I remember him as black.
[00:12:38]  The movies got me.
[00:12:39]  They DEI'd him.
[00:12:40]  Yeah.
[00:12:42]  Yeah.
[00:12:42]  The disappointment on Tristan's.
[00:12:44]  Tristan, I'm disappointed now.
[00:12:45]  I've listened to a lot of those books with Tristan.
[00:12:47]  Cardinal Sid.
[00:12:48]  And now that I think about it, I think I always envisioned him as black.
[00:12:51]  Spying would have been so cool in the 50s.
[00:12:53]  Having a cigarette, being in the hotel lobby, the only good hotel in the city, seeing the other important people, hearing things, having a nice car, fucking the women, da-da-da.
[00:13:00]  Now it's single.
[00:13:01]  Now spying is being a fucking autistic retard sitting at MI6HQ.
[00:13:06]  You're a diversity hire because you speak Hindi and you're sitting there as a little Indian tapping into white people's accounts, seeing if they're mad that they lost their country.
[00:13:15]  You're going, I got the spaying the party and he does nothing like the curry and he claimed spying for 35,000 pounds a year.
[00:13:22]  There's no James Button spy, even spying is becoming king.
[00:13:25]  There's nothing cool left at all.
[00:13:28]  It's not James Bond, it's just James, think of something Indian that rhymes with Bond, damn it.
[00:13:37]  Make a fucking joke.
[00:13:38]  You are shit.
[00:13:39]  Why are you even in this shop?
[00:13:40]  Fucking useless.
[00:13:43]  Remember when Tristan thought there'd be no cats here in Turkey?

=== Spies and Curry (03:18) ===

[00:13:45]  Oh yeah.
[00:13:46]  We didn't even feel overtake home in Neil.
[00:13:48]  Tristan was swore to God.
[00:13:49]  He swore his life.
[00:13:50]  There'd be no cats in Turkey.
[00:13:52]  None.
[00:13:53]  I was there.
[00:13:55]  I was there.
[00:13:55]  That's how you remember it going down.
[00:13:58]  And now every single time I see a cat, I have to point it out just to show to him how wrong he was.
[00:14:05]  That is true.
[00:14:07]  I swore on my life and every male member of my family's life that there were no cats in Turkey.
[00:14:13]  I did do that.
[00:14:14]  Bailey, all I said was, you know, I think there might be some cats in Turkey.
[00:14:17]  That's all I said.
[00:14:18]  I don't know where that's for you, Shit.
[00:14:20]  Yes, that's what I said.
[00:14:21]  That's what started it.
[00:14:23]  And then he started talking about how there's no cats in Turkey at all.
[00:14:27]  That's what happened there.
[00:14:29]  I was there.
[00:14:29]  It means it's the best sushi in the world.
[00:14:43]  It means it's the best sushi.
[00:14:44]  You promised, right?
[00:14:45]  Just suspicious shit.
[00:14:46]  He's confident.
[00:14:46]  All right, he's confident.
[00:14:47]  He's confident.
[00:14:52]  I'm so excited about you.
[00:14:53]  Ah, bro.
[00:14:55]  Me too.
[00:14:56]  I've been had shisha in two days and then we had to go back to jail.
[00:15:01]  It's stressful.
[00:15:04]  Even I'm excited.
[00:15:05]  I'm excited.
[00:15:06]  It does smell pretty good.
[00:15:08]  It does.
[00:15:08]  It does, that was it.
[00:15:18]  Put this shit over there in the corner.
[00:15:20]  It's for him, yeah.
[00:15:39]  It's pretty good.
[00:15:40]  I wouldn't say it's the best in the world yet.
[00:15:42]  But it is pretty good.
[00:15:44]  But he's alive.
[00:15:45]  I can't murder him in his face.
[00:15:48]  I wouldn't say it's the best in the world.
[00:15:51]  He's in the picture.
[00:15:52]  It's nine out of the best.
[00:15:54]  Nine out of the best.
[00:16:11]  Oh now that's a cloud.
[00:16:18]  I'll tell you when it's done.
[00:16:20]  9.5. 82 seconds.

=== Not Smart Dankak (00:11) ===

[00:17:03]  This is not smart.
[00:17:04]  Dankak.
[00:17:05]  Purotulumus Silak Delamiri.
[00:17:08]  It is not smart.
[00:17:10]  You want Poseidon on your side on a bow, bro.
[00:17:12]  Yeah, we're black guy in the cage.
[00:17:14]  Girls are like, what's that?
[00:17:15]  What's that?