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Aug. 26, 2025 - Tate Speech - Andrew Tate
02:47:06
CIGAR NIGHT Q&A WITH TRISTAN TATE | EP.18
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Time Text
Maybe you can never turn the road.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I will never turn the road.
I will never turn the road.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
That's the way it is, never to be a new one, never to be a new one, never to be a new one,
never to be a new one, never to be a new one, never to be a new one, never to be a new one,
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Maybe you can never turn back.
Never mind.
I know what the right world will do.
Never mind.
Thank you.
I know what you will do.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And we are live, I think.
I'm going to wait 30 seconds for my screen to catch up.
And I'm going to start writing down some of your questions that you've been asking me in the chat.
Because I haven't done one of these in a very long time.
So there's lots of questions that people are asking me about recent events that they'd like me to chime in on.
So I'm going to wait a few seconds.
Light my cigar.
I'm not going to talk about my cigar today.
People don't actually come here for the cigar reviews, do they?
They come to listen to me talk.
And I have a very important subject to talk about today.
And yes, I know with everything going on, the very important topic which is going to blow your mind is the topic of the British television show MasterChef.
I need to speak about MasterChef for about five minutes.
Give it a good long run because what's going on with the hosts of MasterChef is very telling and very destructive to our society.
and I wish to address that.
No label.
No fancy plug.
You know, I plug all these cigars and they talk about how good these various cigars are as I smoke them.
These niggas should be paying me.
They really should be paying me something.
But they're not.
So it's fine.
I'm going to keep it simple from now on.
Thank you.
So what I'm going to do first of all, while you're thinking of what to ask me about and what to talk to me about, I'm going to run through some questions I got on X. And give you some very brief answers so you know where I stand on them.
Because it's tricky, living my life.
No matter what happens, whether it be some drama on one of the streaming platforms or a major political incident, everyone spams me.
Tristan, what do you think about this?
Tristan, what do you think about this?
And I feel like this is the best way to address all the questions because as and when I address these things, the clips end up being reposted and shared everywhere and everybody knows where I stand.
But I don't understand what it is about Andrew and I. that people care so much when we weigh in on situations that aren't necessarily to do with us or aren't necessarily to do with our areas of expertise.
And I think it's interesting because a lot of people in the world, and I'd advise you against this, they outsource their opinions to other people.
They like Andrew and myself.
You like Andrew and myself.
I assume you do because you're watching my podcast.
And what you do is when you have something come up that makes you think you want to know what I think first.
I would advise you against that.
I would form my own opinions first.
I would look at the situation as objectively as I can and try to come to conclusions within my own mind.
And then and only then.
then would I challenge my own opinions by listening to people I respect and people I admire talk about the exact same situations.
So, first and foremost, I want to not apologize, I never apologize.
I want to clarify something I put on X the other day because I've had lots of questions about this.
And one of them actually came from a 45-year-old mother living in the United Kingdom, saying, are you sure this is a good thing to post?
You know, my sons watch you.
And it was a simple post.
I said something along the lines of, I have a bad credit rating.
I've got a bad credit.
I burned it when I was younger.
I'm a real nigger.
Fuck the system.
So that was not, I'll clarify, financial advice.
I have used and needed my credit rating at some points in my life to get mobile phone contracts, which I obviously didn't pay, hence my credit being burned.
no it wasn't financial advice what i was trying to get across young men if you think you're going to ruin your credit rating and send me a screenshot to try to impress me don't do that what i was trying to get across is that i've moved so far past the need for a credit rating now that i find it kind of funny and just have it as a badge of honor.
If I ever run a credit checker myself, I wouldn't be able to borrow 50 bucks from any bank in the world.
I wouldn't be able to get a cell phone contract.
I would not be able to buy a car on finance payments.
That would all be impossible.
And it's only because I've moved so far beyond it, I can just buy things outright and I have cash, I guess.
If you want to call it cash, whatever form it is, I'm not going to specify too hard on this podcast.
Because I have cash, I can buy whatever I like.
So yeah, that isn't financial advice, and I don't expect fans of mine to burn your credit ratings and be like, fuck the system.
You may need that in the future.
You know, I'm glad this mother sent me this message because the problem is a lot of people will read jokes, which that was, that was a joke, and take it as some sort of gospel.
And you should avoid doing that with absolutely everybody because everybody's life circumstances are very different.
And if I make a joke, that does not mean that you have to emulate me in everything I do, including having bad credit.
Plus, I'm black, so the thing is, I don't want to lose my black card, and I already dressed too white.
I speak too white.
I hang around with Nigel, who is the arbiter of black cards.
He's older than me.
I respect him a lot.
He's blacker than me.
And he could take my black card away at any moment.
So I don't want a good credit rating because it might wipe me up a bit too much.
Not Marcel.
Chat, don't say Marcel.
I'm not sure Marcel even has his own black card himself.
Just saying.
I mean, he's a black man, right?
But he doesn't eat chicken wings or chicken legs or chicken thighs.
He will only eat chicken breast.
Now, I like.
to call him La Dida Marcel because he picks the tomatoes out of his burgers.
Oh no wait I only eat chicken breast I don't want any chicken legs and and and wings and and thighs.
What kind of black man does that?
I'm not even sure Marcel has a black card.
Don't type Marcel in the chat.
I'm not sure he holds his own black card and he's younger than me.
He's my little mixed race brother.
He's mixed race at best.
Hot chocolate.
He drinks hot chocolate.
So no, he's not in control of who gets the black card.
Nigel has the vote.
So I like my bad credit rating.
Because along with my jail sentence, you know, the baby mamas, I am quite black.
So I don't need good credit fucking this game up for me.
Which leads me to another question I got.
I'm going to try and make them all roll into each other today.
Someone asked me the very stupid question of, where is it?
Do I like being black or do I wish I were white?
Now, for all intents and purposes, I am white.
I mean, objectively.
I can look at myself and say I am white.
I know to the hardcore racists out there, I'm not white enough.
I'm always a nigger because whatever, it is what it is but i don't really like answering hypothetical questions no matter what they're about and i also wouldn't change anything about myself i would not change my genetics in any way i would not change my skin tone in any way and i certainly wouldn't change the fact that i have african-american ancestry and heritage in any way the reason i
would not do that is because I feel like it's given me a very unique perspective.
I feel like I can sympathize for the struggles of the white man in modern times without being called a Nazi.
And I can condemn niggerism wherever I see it without being called a racist.
So it's quite a good position to be in.
And I feel like a lot of people are too stupid.
A lot of racists certainly are too stupid to understand not to bite the hand that feeds them.
I'll give you an example.
Our friend friend Nick Fuentes is a white Christian nationalist who doesn't like brown people and Muslims and makes that pretty clear.
But nobody has spoken up more for Palestine and against the actions of Israel than Nick Fuentes.
Isn't that weird?
White nationalist Christian standing up for a bunch of brown Muslim people.
You see, when he does that, I feel like the people are smart enough to be like, okay, well, this voice, even though we don't agree with everything he says, is clearly in support of us.
So it's good that he's acknowledging what is happening in that part of the world.
It doesn't work that way with white issues.
Because the hardcore racists, when I say, you guys are not having enough kids, the system is rigged against you, and I name all the problems that the white man is facing, your countries are being taken over, your home countries are being replaced with other ethnicities.
Fuck you, nigger, you don't speak for us.
You know what?
Fine.
Maybe one day I will stop speaking for you.
But you have no prominent voices and no prominent white voices in Europe speaking out the way I do, so biting the hand that feeds you is very fucking stupid.
Yeah, I am definitely happy to be mixed race and I'm happy that I can see things from the different perspectives that I have been given in life.
I have black family, white family.
Yeah, I'm pretty happy with the way that I am and I wouldn't change it for the world.
The BBC released a new series.
Did you see it?
Oh, no, the BBC released a new series.
In fact, let's get the picture up here.
Can you put a picture up here for me?
A series on the Battle of Hastings.
You know where this is going.
And for once, I'm not mad at the BBC.
I'm mad at the actor.
Can you please load this picture up?
I want to attack this man and publicly shame him for his actions, for insulting the heritage of the UK.
I sent it on WhatsApp.
Is that fine?
So let me give you a brief rundown of British history and whether or not blacks participated in British history.
American history, they've been, I mean, since the foundation of what we call America.
Native Americans weren't Americans.
Native Americans were something else.
America was made by the Europeans who went there.
But black people have played some part.
in the entire story because from the very beginning they were brought over there as slaves they weren't rulers they weren't legislators but they did play some part in the foundation of the United States that can all be agreed by everybody.
But the UK and most European nations don't have a history which includes a bunch of people of different colors and different ethnicities and different races.
And I was very upset as a man who knows British history very well to see an actor playing in a recreation of the Battle of Hastings.
Now I don't know which team he's supposed to be on.
He's either on Harold Godwinson's army or William the Bastard's army.
Not William the Conqueror.
He was William the Bastard until he won this battle, then he was William the Conqueror.
man is as black as Nigel's uncle's feet.
And I'm very upset by this.
I'm very upset.
Everyone knows how sensitive I am about black people playing Vikings, black people playing James Bond.
But to put someone in the Battle of Hastings as black as this guy is a hate crime.
That's what it is.
It is a hate crime against native British people.
And that's coming from a half black man.
There is no excuse to have this African who?
Can someone come and get your uncle and tell him to stop taking extra work from the BBC.
Please.
For the love of God.
This is the guy.
So I know if you don't understand history very well, you might think, oh, maybe there were some black people.
I'm going to explain why there was none.
I'm going to run off the top of my head.
Because I know British history inside out from the inception of the country all the way to modern times.
By inception of the country, I mean Alfred the Great.
But here's why there were no black people.
People say stupid things about, well, the Romans were in England, some of them were black.
Yeah, maybe, maybe, okay, great, right?
Now, when Paulinus was outnumbered at the Battle of Watling Street, he had ten thousand Romans left in the country, ten thousand Romans on the British Isles, which had a population in the millions at the time, and there were ten thousand Romans and they fought against the Iceni tribe in the Battle of Watling Street, one of the most famous battles in British history, and they won, and the Roman occupation then continued from there for another two hundred something years.
Fine.
Is there a possibility?
Is there that some of the Roman soldiers were black men?
The answer you'll be surprised to hear is yes.
At the time that Rome invaded Britain, the Romans had territories in Numibia, modern-day Ethiopia, and soldiers were drawn from all across the empire, and anyone could get sent to Britain.
There is a possibility that a black man fought the Battle of Watling Street.
Could have happened.
We don't know for sure that happened, but it could have happened.
There could have been Arabic-looking people, black-looking people fighting in the Roman legions at the time.
of the Iceni uprising.
Now, that was about 800 years before this battle was supposed to have taken place, the Battle of Hastings, that was 1066, 800 years.
Let me explain something to you about genetics.
Let's say all 10,000 of Paulinus' legion were black.
They were all black, right?
For the sake of argument, every single person who fought at the Battle of Watling Street, every Roman soldier was black, and they all stayed, and they all mated with the natives, right?
My grandfather is as black as this African brother playing in this play.
I am two generations down from a man that black and this is what I look like.
The average generation is 25 years.
You're telling me, well, the Romans left in about 420 AD.
you're telling me over over 600 years later there are people this black in england no the first black man ever to live in london actually was 1593 his name was cornelius and he was probably as black as this guy and he was a fucking celebrity because he was the only black guy hey i am cornelius Hey, it's good to be in London.
I don't know what he was doing there, but there was a black guy in London.
There were no black people in 1066.
Zero.
England didn't have an empire that didn't start.
to the reign of Elizabeth I. They had never been to Africa.
They had never discovered the Americas.
The slave trade hadn't begun.
There were zero black people.
It was an island in Europe isolated from the rest of the world besides some minor outside trade.
There is no way that even if a black man found himself somehow in 1066 in the UK, that Harold Godwinson was conscripting him into the army of Huskarls to face off against the Norman invasion.
That did not happen.
And this actor is at fault.
Listen, fool me once, shame on me.
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
We've seen the BBC do this with their Pakistani Isaac Newton that looks more like my guy Yusuf here than Isaac Newton actually looked.
The BBC have been doing this for a very long time.
So this is my message to black and brown actors out there.
Stop playing their fucking games.
The BBC should have said, hello, Ojigwe.
We have a part for you.
Would you like to play a huskar on the army of Harold Goodwinson?
And he should have said, eh, you know what?
I just live in England.
It is a good place.
It is a good home for me.
I do not wish to insult the people of Britain by pretending that the soldiers in 1066 look like me.
They did not.
And Ojibwe should have turned down the part.
The BBC are chicanerous.
They're up to no good and they're butchering history.
It is now down to you, black actors, to turn this shit down.
Who is that bitch who played who played uh?
Henry the Eighth's wife, Anne Boleyn.
She also played LeBron movie.
She's like a famous Nigerian actress.
They should have said, he No, I do not wish to be Anne Boleyn.
She doesn't sound like that.
She does for the sake of this.
I do not wish to play Anne Boleyn.
We have paintings of her.
She was white.
Her daughter was a ginger.
Elizabeth I was a ginger.
You ever seen a black woman give birth to a ginger woman?
And she should have said, No, and then none of this would be happening.
But it now keeps happening and it's being allowed to happen and permitted by the black actors who are agreeing to this bullshit.
It is not forward thinking.
It is not cool.
It is not inclusive.
I tell you what, I'm going to use my own money and I'm going to finance a documentary about Shaka Zulu.
Shaka Zulu, I'm casting Daniel Craig.
I am Shaka Zulu.
Let's do it.
Fucking ridiculous.
Ridiculous.
And I'm offended and furious.
No, Harold Godwinson did not have black soldiers.
It is impossible.
Even if all the Romans 600 years before that were all black, they would have been washed out and diluted by the native British population by then.
Absolutely disgraceful.
Which brings me to today's most pressing topic.
And of course I'm talking about a topic no one cares about, the drama going down between the hosts of MasterChef UK.
Now, no one cares.
I think actually I'm the only person online who cares about this issue.
But seeing a few thousand of you are watching me right now and millions are going to see this video, I'm going to break down exactly what happens.
What happened to the hosts of MasterChef and why Greg Wallace deserves your support.
What do I care about Greg Wallace for?
Because this is an issue that affects and attacks all men.
What is that quote?
Can you get it out for me?
First, they came for the whatever.
I was not a whatever.
And then the whatever.
You know which one?
And then when they came for me, there was no one left left to come up to stand up.
What was it?
I didn't stand up because I was not thinking.
Find that quote.
Here's the problem with the modern day UK.
There is a man, please look them up, who hosted MasterChef UK for many years.
Now MasterChef, believe it or not, was Andrew Tate's favorite TV show.
Andrew Tate grew up watching MasterChef all the fucking time, and I, by extension, also watched MasterChef.
There were two hosts, Greg Wallace and John Tarod.
Now, I don't know who Greg Wallace upset over at the BBC, the Batty Boy Club, the pedophile run insane asylum where they touch and molest children and get away with it.
I don't know who Greg Wallace u upset, but Greg Wallace, yeah, send that to all my WhatsApp.
But Greg Wallace was mass canceled, mass harassed by the media, called a sexual pervert, called a dangerous person to work with.
No criminal charges were launched against this man.
No civil charges were launched against this man.
He had obviously pissed someone off and they ran his name through the media.
Now, I'm going to break down, before we get into this, exactly what it is allegedly that Greg Wallace did.
Greg Wallace allegedly used to work with a girl on the MasterChef set.
And a few women reported him.
He's a typical old English sproke.
For saying things like, oh, you all right, love?
You got nice tits.
Yeah, you all right, love?
You got nice legs.
Like, you know, everyone in England used to do all the time up until the world got so fucking woke around 2010.
So, of course, he did that.
But he didn't touch anyone.
He didn't do any crime.
Now, allegedly, he was on a date.
A date.
The girl agreed to go on a date with him.
With a girl who had once interned or worked at the BBC or whatever it was.
And on his date, they were sitting at a restaurant.
Eating, I guess, MasterChef.
He probably took her to a very nice restaurant.
Having drinks.
And he said something obscene to her.
He said something along the lines of, You know, I'd really like it if you sucked my dick and licked my asshole.
Right.
Hear me out.
I'm not into that gay shit.
That's not my vibe.
But what Greg Wallace did on that date was not a crime.
He made an honest pop, an honest attempt at...
at picking up this chick is his does he need to work on his game absolutely And I'm not saying he doesn't.
What I'm saying is if two consenting people are on a date, I've been on dates where I've said to women, you know, we should go, we should get in the my car and you should suck my dick or we should go home and you should suck my dick.
And they say, yes, okay.
And then they come and suck my dick.
That's called making a pickup attempt.
That is not called sexual harassment dangerous to work with.
Don't go on dates with men if you don't want them to try to escalate it to something sexual.
So Greg Wallace, bit of a weird request, not my cup of tea, needs to work on his game, but for all intents and purposes, did nothing wrong.
Greg Wallace did nothing wrong.
He was fired and slandered in the media, called a dangerous person.
He probably found his BBC boss's child porn collection and threatened to go to the police.
He probably upset someone powerful.
But all in all, he didn't do anything wrong or anything criminal.
So anyway, his co-host, his boy, because like Andrew and Tristan Tate made their fame together, Greg Wallace's right-hand man on the show MasterChef was John Tarod.
And John Tarod is a snake.
and a loser and John Tarod cannot be trusted because what happened throughout Greg Wallace being slandered in this way, I was following them both and watching the media very closely.
John Tarod said nothing.
That's your boy.
The way Myron Gaines sticks up for Fresh, the way I stick up for Andrew, John Taro didn't say a single fucking word in support of Greg Wallace.
Not one fucking word because he was afraid of the cancel mob.
And karma came around a year and a half later and got John Taro.
Did you know, Andrew?
Did you know, Andrew?
Let me sit in podcast with Andrew.
Did you know, people watching at home?
That John Taro at university was once filmed singing a karaoke song with the N word in it.
And he sang the word that was in the song.
Beep boop.
He got cancelled.
Everyone started coming for John to road and I'm like, you know what?
It reminds me of that famous quote.
First they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the socialists.
I did not speak out because I was not a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists.
I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak up for me.
Yeah.
It's a very famous quote.
First they came for the men who asked to get their dick sucked on dates.
John Toroad did not stand up because he does not ask women to suck his dick when he goes on dates.
You know, you see where I'm going here?
Then they came for the men who mimed the N-word in karaoke when they were in university.
There was no one left to stand up.
Let this be a lesson, John Tarod.
When you see culture eroding and weapons being used, the law weaponized in the media to destroy the lives and reputations of men, speak up because you are a coward, sir.
You are a coward, and Greg Wallace deserves a better friend.
Greg Wallace is the bald guy.
The guy with the hair is John Tarod.
I am making an offer right now to the BBC and to Greg Wallace.
I will leave Andrew and this whole empire I have built and I will come and be the host of a new series of MasterChef alongside Greg Wallace anytime you like.
The offer is there on the table, can't cook, know nothing about food, but I'll sure as hell make it entertaining.
I want to be the new host of MasterChef.
And this rant isn't about MasterChef.
It's not about Greg Wallace.
It's about integrity.
It's about having your boys back.
It's about not trusting the media when they slander people for no reason.
What I would like all of my friends and fans to do, I'm going to repost this video with a link to Greg Wallace's X page, because Greg Wallace is now making internet content.
Hey, I'm Greg Wallace.
I'm making banana chocolate pudding today.
Here's how you make it.
And he needs to do some work.
If you need a consultant on how to go viral online, Greg, holler at your boy.
But I'm going to encourage everyone to follow you on Instagram, to follow you on X. And hope you take your career to heights that far surpass the infantile beginnings of MasterChef standing alongside that snake, John.
Now I know that's what you all came here for today.
You wanted to hear my opinions on MasterChef.
Can you turn the air conditioner back on?
I'm melting here.
But isn't it kind of cool that John Terode got canceled for saying the N-word?
I might file a police claim against him for racial hatred.
You see, that's why I like being black.
John Terode discriminated against me.
He's a racist.
BBC, please fire him.
Snake.
What do you mean you're not following that clown?
Kick this guy out of my chat.
You will follow Greg Wallace.
I'm kicking you out.
mute user You've been muted from my stream, sir, for calling Greg Wallace a clown.
You have been muted indefinitely.
That's what you get.
All right.
Hey, Tristan.
What do you think about that little Scottish girl who was brandishing a machete and an axe in her small town in England?
Because if I say, yeah, let your daughters carry around knives because they're rapists everywhere, the British government and the newspapers are going to say, Tristan Tate encourages people to carry knives, which I don't.
I never encourage anybody to break the law.
I would just like to say that it is a very sad state of affairs.
When we get to the point where 14-year-old girls feel so unsafe in their hometowns and cities in the UK that they feel that they need to carry axes and knives around to protect themselves.
This is a very an extremely sad state of affairs.
I could go around the entire country of Romania and search the pockets of every 14-year-old girl and I would find zero knives, zero axes.
There's no need for that here yet, yet, but there's currently no need for that here.
It is an incredibly sad state of affairs where men, English men, if they were to patrol around parks and make sure that nothing bad goes on there would be arrested by the police and thrown in jail as racists.
It's a very sad state of affairs when any of your local hotels that have been cornerstones of your local community for many years can at any point be taken over and filled with mystery men from God knows where around your daughters, your wives, your kids.
It is scary and heartbreaking that that 14-year-old girl before leaving her house that day because knife crime statistics show girls are not doing knife crime.
Girls are not taking knives, going out, challenging their rivals, stabbing each other.
That is young men predominantly in the UK now, young black men and black men get your shit together.
Seriously, it is you.
But little white girls aren't doing it.
The reason she decided to arm herself to the teeth before leaving her house is because at fourteen years of age, she is being harassed and propositioned by men from God knows where.
And it is heartbreaking as a father who does have a little girl to even think that this thought crossed her mind before leaving her house to go outside and play as she should be safe to do.
It is heartbreaking.
And the fact that our politicians do nothing but talk and arrest those who highlight the problem adds further sadness to an already sad situation.
If you are a father in a low income area of England and I've lived in a low income area of England and you are in an area where rape gangs have operated before, where groomers are around, where people on the internet are trying to lure your children into sexual compromise, what I would advise you to do is look at what is legal in your city and do arm your girls.
I don't know what the laws are in Engl England nowadays.
I really don't know.
Pepper spray, batons, tasers, those little safety pens that you can stab people with.
I don't know what's legal in England because it's been a very long time since I've been in a situation where I've had to consider self defense in the UK.
But do not break the law because they will put you in jail.
If you send your daughter out with something that's illegal, let's say tasers are illegal, to defend herself, you as the father will end up doing five years in jail.
Oh, he's racist.
He sent his daughter out to tase ethnic people who stay in migrant hotels.
If they're close enough to her to get tased, they are in the wrong sir either way do whatever is legal and take care of your kids because it's a really scary situation hi tristan did you really have sex with a female prison guard when you were in rumanian prison An investigation was conducted by the internal police force of Romania
investigating police misconduct.
That report came to the conclusion that they had no proof or evidence to punish the officer that I had an inappropriate sexual relationship with her.
You know?
Because all my haters out there, you know, who hate on me for this accusation, the Romanian police are great, aren't they?
All my haters out there, the Romanian police are great.
They're just doing their jobs.
It's justice.
You can lock people up for three years in their house and put them in prison and then there's no trial and just fuck with people's lives.
It's all good.
It's part of the process.
If you love the Romanian police so much, then the Romanian police came to the government.
conclusion that they couldn't prove I had sex with her.
So, that's your answer.
Why would I, a man, a tall, handsome man, in prison, with no women around, try to have sex with one of the female attractive, oh, Anyway, there's no proof.
No proof.
Leave me alone.
No comment.
None of your business.
Could I have gotten trouble for it?
No.
If I did have sex with her, she could have lost her job.
It wasn't actually a criminal offence by me in any way if it happened, which I'm not saying it did.
Hi, Tristan.
Questions about history always get me.
I always answer them.
If you could change one thing about history, what would it be?
Ahaha.
What answers are you expecting from me, my friends, that the great city of Constantinople didn't fall to Mechmed II in fourteen fifty eight?
What answers are you expecting?
The answer, surprisingly, is nothing.
I would change nothing at all.
all but I would change one aspect of it I wish all history had been recorded accurately now this is going to give me a lot of trouble if I start going down this rabbit hole but I'm ready for trouble I'm built different that leads me on to my next question the funny thing is is history is never really written retrospectively People don't sit around and be like, you know what?
I'm going to figure out what happened 200 years ago and write history.
What happens is news is written.
Current affairs are written, orders are given, papers are filed, tablets are carved, monuments are built, and we make sense of them many years later.
But the people who win write their own version, the people involved in the struggles write their own version, there are so many versions of everything.
I wish an alien with time travel invisibility powers could come to Earth and completely non objectively record all of Earth's history in a massive series of books that I could read, which was just true.
Because I wish all history was true.
Because knowing it doesn't mean much if it's not true.
And I know it.
So it's very sad sometimes when I was a man in my early 30s and there were certain historical events.
And I looked at them and I thought, why did they tell me this?
Why did I believe it so much and I was taught it in schools?
I thought I could trust my teachers and, you know, documentaries.
Why is this clearly not true.
And I was sad.
I was really sad.
I was like, well, why did I learn any of this?
And now we're in this horrible situation stuck in the middle where you don't know what was true and what wasn't, and there are differing opinions on either side.
You know what would fix almost every political problem in the world if history was true?
If history was all true, And everyone knew it.
You could say, okay, communism is bad.
Fascism is bad or good.
This is bad or good.
This is right or wrong.
This is what happens when this kind of leader takes over this kind of country.
And if it was all true, people today could come to some kind of consensus and be like, you know what?
Okay, we know history.
So let's make smart political decisions.
But the problem is, history, as taught in documentaries and modern books, is very much written by the matrix.
They write what they want you to believe to be true about social certain people being good or bad or evil or wicked and us always being the good guys for some reason, you know?
Yeah, I'm American.
How many movies have I watched about how our poor soldiers suffered in Vietnam?
What the fuck were we doing in Vietnam?
You know how fucking far Vietnam is from the United States?
What were we doing there?
We obviously weren't the good guys.
Vietnamese people were trying to do fucking Chinese shit and we turned up and dropped fucking napalm on their kids and then we made movies about how sad our soldiers got.
What?
So it's very heartbreaking when you realize that the country you love hasn't necessarily always been the good guy, you know?
And it's happening today when Hillary Clinton was bragging about, yeah, we killed Gaddafi.
Yeah, he died.
Gaddafi wasn't a bad guy.
What the fuck are we doing?
Have you ever read the Wikipedia articles on COVID?
If you read the Wikipedia articles on COVID, you would think the people who went through that lived through the fucking black death 3.0.
Read it.
Go to Wikipedia.
Read what happened during COVID.
Mass deaths.
Fucking graveyards filling up.
Incinerating bodies in mass numbers.
Everyone was getting sick.
No one could leave their houses.
Airborne virus.
Killing millions.
I was like, you niggers are lying.
And that's going to be history.
In a hundred years' time, people will be like, man, how the fuck did those guys around in 2021 live through that fucking plague?
I was drinking vodka in Swedish nightclubs, fucking bitches.
That's how.
They lie.
So I wouldn't change anything about history.
I would change how it's recorded and I would make all of it real.
I don't care what I like and what I don't like.
If I had to read a book that said Napole the people I like weren't actually good, I'd be like, okay, fine, at least it's true.
I would like history to be true.
Hey Tristan, you are a free speech absolutist.
What do you think about the one year punishment for burning the American flag?
So this is funny, actually.
I like Uno reverse cards, you know?
I'm an Uno guy and the reverse card will always be funny to me.
Am I a free speech absolutist?
Yes.
If I were in charge of a country, would it be legal to burn my country's flag in my country if I was in charge of the laws?
Yes, it would be.
However, I have had to watch for fucking 15 years as good family men in America who love their kids and love their country go to fucking prison for hate crimes,
for leaving skid marks on rainbow sidewalks, for burning the pride flag, and they're all going to fucking jail for hate crimes, and no one seems to stand up for them besides me and about 10 other people on the twitter and i've had to watch this for years and it's made me extremely sad so yes i'm a free speech absolutist but also trump doing a uno reverse ha ha do it to the american flag you're going to jail is very funny it's
very funny and i am not the president of the united states trump is and i like trump and i support trump and i think it's funny ha ha ha don't burn the flag or you'll go to jail ha ha that's my answer I'm gonna end this conversation by ignoring many of your stupid questions.
One sec, let me read this.
You all ask the same questions.
This is a stupid question.
You asked me this on Twitter as well, and you're here in the super chats.
What can we take away from the great Gatsby.
Is that a serious question?
Now, I know you know I'm a nerd who's read all the classics so i know you know i've read this book and i think the lesson to take away from the great gatsby because it's actually a really well-written book is don't be a sniveling ass punk ass cry baby pussy ass bitch that's the lesson if you are in life Especially if you're good at everything else.
You made billions of dollars.
You got a castle.
You're rich.
You're popular.
Everyone wants to know your name.
And you want to fuck some bit of dried up old pussy that you knew when you were a teenager.
Go over to her and say, hey, bitch.
Look at my cat.
I'm the great Gatsby.
If my name was the great Tristan, I'd introduce myself as that all the time.
Come over here and fucking chat out on these nuts, you know?
What you don't do is throw epic parties all the time across the lake from her house.
hoping one day she turns up and sees, ah, that guy I knew 20 years ago knows how to throw a party.
Maybe I'll leave my husband.
She's across the lake in her bedroom getting her pussy and or butthole plowed by Sunday.
by some dude who's not you and you are spending millions on parties in your house.
Well, maybe she'll come by this week.
You, sir, are gay.
You are gay.
That is the takeaway from the Great Gatsby.
Do not be a sniveling ass, punk ass, crybaby, pussy ass little bitch.
If you want something in life, do a Greg Wallace.
You know?
Hey, I think you're very attractive.
You want to come and suck this dick?
The worst she can say is no.
And did you get slandered by the daily Mail.
But what Greg Wallace did is a thousand times more admirable than what the fucking great Gatsby did.
This woman aged 15 years right in front of his face across the lake from himself.
And he's throwing fucking parties, hoping she turns up.
The great Gatsby is gay.
Be like Greg, the great creator.
It's a new technique of just telling women what you want.
You're very attractive.
Would you like to sleep with me?
She might say no, she might say yes.
It's not a fucking crime.
At some point, your dad tried to get your mom to sleep with him and she did.
It's human nature.
Your grandfather one day saw your young grandmother, mother walking with her fucking long ass legs up and down fucking Pennsylvania Avenue or where the fuck your family's from, and thought, I want to fuck that bitch.
And he may have married her, he may have not.
He may have bought her flowers and candy, may have taken her for a ride in his car, but he was trying to fucking get over this shit.
In England, you now have female cops running around who are mid, by the way, at best, waiting for builders to, hey, you're right, love, you look good.
So they can arrest them.
You know what's funny about England and English culture?
I guarantee, thousands upon thousands of relationships.
families, children, before the year 2000, probably before the internet, were started by a woman walking down the street and some guy going.
I go, you're right, love?
Yeah, you got a real nice ass.
Hey, hey, hey, you're so cheeky.
Oh, no, why don't you give me a mobile number?
I'll text you later.
And then they got into a relationship.
Families are created that way.
I know it's not convenient when a guy's ugly who comes and tries to talk to you, but let me tell you, ladies, a secret.
Oh, it's harassment.
It's harassment.
I'm so attractive.
Fucking guys who I don't want to have sex with talk to me all the time.
One, get over it.
Two, I'm a fucking six foot four famous billionaire.
You think I don't have ugly ass bitches trying to get with me?
The guy sitting to my left can fucking confirm I have women who follow me Around the city, when I go into restaurants and they find out I'm there, they show up and sit there and look at me.
I get it.
But you know what?
Maybe one of these days in a hypothetical universe, if someone attractive enough came into the thing, ah, she's into me.
You know what?
I'm going to fuck her.
And then she gets what she wants.
It's called having an honest pop.
So we should all take some lessons from Greg Wallace today and move forward with our lives.
Appreciateating that you don't get what you don't ask for.
And I think I'll leave it at that.
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