They don't know that you poisoned yourself and almost died by drinking raw milk after I specifically told you not to and you argued with me for about 20 minutes about how great it was.
From Desert Cows.
You wanted the diamond watch or this watch?
Diamond watch.
That's the wrong diamond watch, though.
I didn't see another one.
Bro, don't put your watches in saunas and blues anyway.
Don't tell me what to fucking do, bro.
Alright, do it.
I encourage you.
Don't tell me what to do.
No, no, bring it.
Listen.
Yeah, bro.
No diamonds allowed in the sauna.
It'll shine too bright.
However, I refuse to turn on you when we should be making fun of Dairy Queen.
I'm instantly going to pivot back to the fact that Bailey nearly died from milk that he shouldn't have been drinking.
Ooh, raw milk.
You know what's weird about health?
Men will do anything it takes to avoid fighting.
I say to men, eat loads of steak and go fight.
I'm into raw milk and ice baths.
You'll do anything it takes to avoid getting punched in the face.
Be a man and go fight.
Be a man and go fight.
No, I don't want to fight, but I do ice baths and raw milk.
Any kind of coke bullshit, go fight.
Everything else is gay.
Everything else is gay.
So a doctor came to this house because you were completely immobilized.
And I'm not going to show his face because I told him I wouldn't, but let me play the doctor's voice now.
Here's the video I made with the doctor.
And you're a qualified doctor here in this house, here to treat Bailey.
What do you think caused this problem?
So, the most common cause of bacterial infection causing gastroenteritis, bacterial gastroenteritis is...
The larger meta point here is why is anyone doing anything besides just beating the fuck out?
The fighting's all that matters.
Everything else is gay.
Eat some steak and go boxing.
Eat some steak and go fight.
This is why at 38 I look like fucking Hercules.
All I do is smoke.
Alright, I'm officially anti-raw anything.
No more sushi.
Sushi's gay.
You gotta hit bitches raw.
Yeah.
Right?
Raw dogging only.
Let's go.
I'm gonna take a professional line dance.
When you least expect it, you're going to get served.
No, when you least expect it, I'm going to line dance at you, and it's going to get you.
Watch this space.
I'm looking for a photo.
And he goes, can you carry a pillow?
I said, yes.
So why are you carrying a pillow?
Because I bought it.
And he's like, oh, can I have a photo?
What did he expect, the answer?
I bought a pillow.
I can't buy a pillow.
What am I not allowed?
Why are you carrying a pillow?
It's a fucking bullet, nigger!
What do you want?
A pussy ass?
This is like the old days.
We're in the Escalade.
Bailey, this is back in the old days.
This is back in the old days.
I remember.
Yeah, back in the old days.
Tristan, we're back.
Back to the old days.
These are the olden days where Bailey was filming.
I'm filming Bailey film.
We're in the back of the Escalade.
This is the olden days.
No, the olden days.
Back in the day.
Way back then.
Way back when.
Where's Andrew?
That's all we need.
And then we can get our...
I'm sorry.
Luke's dropping.
Drop the phone.
But that's okay.
Luke, there's a reason.
Move forward.
Andrew, admit this is a throwback.
It is a bit.
There's no suicide hotline, unfortunately.
Is there none?
No, we don't have internet.
Ah.
Ha ha.
So that's the one shame.
So I guess I'll just have to kill myself.
Yeah.
Well, you might have to.
Tristan, don't you want to stop him?
All milk?
That will do the trick.
Can't go down that way.
Can't go down that way.
It's true.
It's true.
That'd be a very embarrassing way to go down.
In fact, if raw milk were to hurt you, that'd be very, very gay, wouldn't it?
Especially if your name were like Bulletproof something.
Yeah, if that was your nickname, your nickname started with Bulletproof, you'd think that raw milk wouldn't get you.
You'd think that you'd be fine.
Yeah, of course.
You're Bulletproof!
Yeah, I know.
Bullets can't hurt you.
Yeah, if bullets can't hurt you, how could something like raw milk that baby cows drink get you?
True.
How could that happen?
Where's La Villa back?
So we're lost.
What's the place called?
It's called Poopoo.
It's called Poopoo.
I knew you were going to get him here.
What do you mean?
Lamborghini, yeah?
Bugatti?
So I'm in the back.
You're not allowed back here.
Of all the things I want to do, sitting next to you is last on my list.
It's not.
That's why you chose this spot.
Please take us to Poo Poo.
It's not called Poo Poo.
Then I bet we get there.
Bailey, if we get there, I'll admit it, that it might be called poo poo.
Top G and a Bugatti, me and stuff is not a party, a lot of times they say she want me, Slicker than average, so she'll have to look for me.
Young and bit saucy.
Close your eyes.
I will push you off when you're not looking because I don't like you at all.
Close your eyes.
Here we go.
Poo poo.
Thanks man.
Villa Banya.
Nice!
Hello!
Search for...
Search for what?
Search for, yeah.
Okay.
Ailey, what is this?
I don't know.
This is actually the last thing I expected.
Dance, dammit.
So what do we have here?
Explain things to me.
I'm confused.
Yes.
Nice.
What's this place called?
That's what I call it.
That's what I'm doing.
The best view in Dubai.
Wait, I'm seeing that this place lives up to its name.
It's the main view of the airport.
It's Timo.
It's Timo.
Okay, what are we doing?
Never done.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
Really?
No.
Yeah?
None of us drink.
The only way to stop being Dairy Queen is for you to down all those.
You don't want to be Dairy Queen in your whole life, do you?
How many shots would I have to down to not be Dairy Queen?
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. I feel like that's actually light work.
Yeah, exactly, light work.
I think you underestimate this horse strategy.
Two more people are coming.
Am I dreaming?
Am I still under some, like, raw milk coma?
Mikey.
There's this weird Russian music playing.
Take this antidote.
I will admit that this looks better.
I did not expect this owl.
Bailey, I was sold a spa.
That's what I was sold.
See, that's what I was sold.
I was sold a spa, and I imagine, like, okay, a super luxurious spa.
Like, I was sold something about grass, and they'll use grass somehow.
I wasn't sold something different.
I was sold spa.
My life isn't complete until I learn all the lyrics to the song.
You're never gonna learn the lyrics to the song.
Ever.
Shazam this.
No.
Don't shazam it.
No one's gonna shazam it.
To make sure your life can never be complete.
And now it's done.
You're really committed to that walk.
You can't just change your commitments.
Bailey, would you like some antidote?
If you dry-scoop Fireblood and then drink all of these, you'll be better for him.
I don't think that's how that works.
That sounds horrible.
If you dry-scoop Fireblood and drink six shots of random Russian alcohol, I promise we'll stop calling you Dairy Queen.
That's your Dairy Queen.
You'd have to stop then.
Listen, Dairy Queen, there's a way out.
Don't live with that forever.
You'd get a cooler name like the Bear Man.
I don't know.
Something cooler.
Wait, guys.
He worked it out.
He's in a dream.
This is Inception.
You're in a dream, and I'm the one here who's trying to wake you up back into the real world.
I'm next to your hospital bed.
I've been sent into your dream to tell you the only way to get out is to dry scoop fire blood and drink these six shots of alcohol.
Then you'll wake up in hospital and you'll be okay.
If not, you're going to stay in this coma fever dream forever.
I've been in a coma for five days.
Exactly.
And now, all of a sudden, I'm in a Russian.
That house.
Yes, we're trying to help.
We're your friends.
We wouldn't lie to you for no reason.
You're wearing adult diapers in this bed.
Bailey, I wouldn't come down here into your subconscious to tell you this if I didn't care about you.
You should do it.
That's why it's called poo-poo, because you're in a hospital bed pooing yourself.
Yeah, you see?
It all makes sense.
The subliminal messaging is trickling in.
Where's wardrobe?
Here.
We have shorts, hats, robes, slippers, everything.
Hats?
Yeah.
You'll take three men and one girl for Dairy Queen.
Bailey, the Dairy Queen thing might stick.
It might stick.
No, it might stick.
You brought this upon me.
Yeah, but you're Dairy Queen.
That's why it happened to you.
Yeah, fair.
It happened to me.
No, that is super funny because, Luke, you are responsible for this.
But he's taking all the flack.
You were like, Bailey, I got the best raw milk ever.
Yeah, I did.
I gave him the hookup.
And you pasteurized it.
Yeah, I did pasteurize it.
And you didn't tell me.
No, I did.
I told you I pasteurized it.
But you did drink it super raw.
And it turns out raw milk.
Can actually get you sick.
It turns out.
I mean, I guess for Dairy Queen.
For me, I'm fine.
I'm built different.
I'm bulletproof.
Bulletproof Luke.
You came full of drinking a glass of milk without crying.
So I need a hat and a rope.
That's what I need.
It looks like this is what I need.
And the chains look cool with it.
Oh, Bailey, there's loads.
Remember when Tristan said, don't bring the chain, don't bring the watch?
Tristan's like, oh, no, no, it's going to heat up and the diamonds are going to fall off.
That is exactly what you said.
I will cut back to that clip.
Don't be your watches and saunas and booze anyway.
So Bailey's interested in these watches down from heat.
You're doing the wrong dance.
The correct dancers actually.
I like your outfits, guys.
No, I came here dressed like this.
Oh, okay.
Me too.
You guys like the environment, the area?
Yeah.
You're the one who showed us the Russian karaoke bar.
I think it's a great way to celebrate having fun.
It's the only place that's open until 6 a.m.
That's the real reason.
It's fun singing.
Andrew had a great voice.
You remember that one time we did a little duet together?
Guys, I hope this is a nice, chill evening.
That's what we're here for right now.
Rob, until you put a hat on, I don't listen to anything you say.
Same.
With no hat, you have no opinion.
Imagine listening to the no hat man.
We have a hat.
Imagine Bailey.
Bailey has a hat.
That's the only reason I listen to him.
Even I have the hat.
Clearly, people come to these places to get healthy.
So if you want to take your health seriously, first thing you need is a scoop of fire blood.
Okay.
So I'm going to drink fire blood.
It's going to taste like pain.
It tastes like pure pain.
People don't realize that.
It tastes horrible.
Nice marble red.
Cowboy killer.
Fire blood?
Fuck that.
You need it, bro.
Make it stronger.
Mmm.
It's not good.
It's not a good thing.
When the repowering is complete, second cigarette.
If you disagree with my health protocol...
You can fight me anytime you want.
No.
You want to fight?
I will admit he can beat me up.
So it's very hard to argue with the logic when someone can beat you up.
It's very, very hard.
What's health other than being able to beat someone else up?
I'm the bastion and pinnacle of health.
You're right.
I put on gloves 10 years retired and I beat up a bunch of active fighters.
This is why.
Marlboro Reds.
Cowboy killers.
a man of taste and distinction.
That was from "Mohammed".
I don't do the time.
I don't do the time.
This is where you normally drink loads.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
is made up of days.
One year, one month, one decade.
The biggest buildings were built one brick at a time.
You need to stop getting lost.
You need to hold yourself accountable every step of the way.
That's why, in the real world, we've created an in-platform feature exactly for this.
With the daily checklist, you now have the ability to conquer your tasks with automatic organization seamlessly integrated into your student dashboard.
You can create tasks, add descriptions, complete them, and increase your power level as a result.
Stop trying to remember what you need to do You know, I like saying I told you so, but to no one as much as you, baby.
Dairy one.
You guys can go on that side.
Ah, this is the hot side.
So this is a side.
No, the whole side's hot, I'll be real.
Everything's hot.
This one looks good, I'm gonna have a heyday.
So this is one of those situations where I invite you to something and I don't expect you to actually do it and then it actually happens and then he gets a bit pee.
How are you?
Good man, how are you?
I'm good.
Dah.
Yeah, dah.
Hello.
Thank you.
I'm right, David.
What was that?
I said, how do you feel good?
I said, everything will be revealed with time.
That's what I said, yes?
I don't understand.
No, no.
He doesn't speak English.
Everything will be revealed with tongue.
Everything will be revealed with tongue.
How do you know that phrase?
In what world would you need that phrase?
For this exact moment.
I knew he was going to ask.
That's the kind of thing Russians say as an answer, though.
Like, are you going to kill me?
Everything will be revealed with tongue.
It's a very scary answer.
If someone told you that...
If a big guy like Tristan told me that, I'd be like, "Okay, am I kidnapped?
Are my organs gone?" This is the woman.
Smell it.
I'm fine.
*Sigh* *Sigh*
Only Cyrus my Goonik You're gonna thank me so much after this feels good so far actually like it I really need me to translate anything to the Russian guy tell me I My dog doesn't eat eggs.
That's not the same.
I just told him, my dog does not eat eggs.
I mean, he's in mine.
He's in mine.
Yeah.
I have a suspicion he's in mine.
I don't know.
you Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Anything else?
I took six washing lessons, bro.
I've spent the past 24 hours trying to recover from critical dehydration.
Now I'm in the sauna, sweating my balls off.
Bailey, what if I told you this is all part of the plan?
Everything will be revealed in time.
Guys, we did $5,000 worth of IV treatment to get me...
Back to normal.
The reason you think you're sweating is like a dream.
You are sweating in your dream because you're sweating in real life because you're still on the hospital bed.
You're poo-poo boy in the hospital bed.
You just need to take the six shots.
Just drink it.
It's the only way out.
Oh, yeah.
Ah, nice.
Now's the ice part.
No, not for me.
I don't want it.
Yes, do it for him.
Do it for him, please.
No, no, no, no.
No, I don't want it.
Nah, no cold.
It's so good.
It's actually not cold.
It's fine.
I highly doubt it.
It's not good.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's not good.
The heat was better.
Did you just break the heat?
I'm big.
What do you want?
I'm big.
I'm sure Russians are big too.
I'll get in.
All right, you're tall.
Yeah, I can't go all the way down.
You can't go all the way down?
I can't get my head on the wrong control.
Ah, so Bailey, admit that the GoPro died.
Say again?
Admit the GoPro died.
The GoPro died.
Yeah, it overheated.
I'm on my main cam.
The GoPro that's meant to go to the volcanoes is dead.
It did die.
So we're stronger than volcanoes.
Yes.
It seems like it.
Evidence is here.
I mean, you can bring the GoPro back if you want, and we can try again.
Thank you.
It'll quit before we do.
I'm willing to beat you.
You outlasted the GoPro.
Real niggers.
Yeah.
How is it?
You look like you're roasting in hell.
It is roasting, but it's not as bad as it was.
Because the door's open.
I know.
I know why.
I know the reason, Mr. Science Point.
I know why.
Are these hard things good for us?
Struggle brings you closer to God.
If you imagine a man who truly believes in God and finds strength from God, he suffers.
And if you imagine a man who's born with a perfect life, perfect parents, endless money, no adversity, no struggle, nothing ever goes wrong.
Doesn't need to train.
He's skinny.
Nobody ever attacks him.
That man is an evil hedonist.
He's petty.
The kind of person who will hurt those weaker than him.
Try and use his influence and power for nefarious purposes.
People who only have pleasures in their life do not experience connection with God, friend.
But all of the suffering, you see.
Suffering is what reminds you that the light is light and the dark is dark.
This is why God gives us suffering in the first place.
So many people pray for their suffering to end, not understanding that.
The suffering is the reason they're praying in the first place, so.
Is this good for us?
Well, it's been a while since you've appreciated fresh air, isn't it, friend?
It has.
It has.
I appreciate fresh air.
I would argue it is good for us.
I would argue all suffering is good for us, and God wants us to suffer to show.
That we deserve his blessings.
That's why, if you're lazy, you're never lucky.
And if you work hard and you suffer, somehow, you'll always lose.
Up!
Jump in the water.
Into the ice place, into the ice place.
Jump in the water.
Go on.
Nice, put your back.
Take out of Bailey.
Get in?
Head off.
Head off?
Yeah, dunk it.
Jump in.
Jump in the water.
Nice.
Nice work.
One butch left.
One butch left.
Lay down, lay down.
I'll go back in that torture chamber before I get back in that water.
I tried to film it, but it was unfilmable.
Tell them what happened.
Come on, Luke.
What's next?
You want to sit on the balcony and watch the sunset, faggot?
You're going to find out, nigger.
Kick you in your fucking goofy head.
Marcel, I cannot wait for you to drown in the men's room.