| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Two Liters of Water
00:13:57
|
|
| Alright, so you just got up. | |
| We're all getting around. | |
| I'm low-key terrified. | |
| Because you said that today's the day. | |
| Where's your coffee? | |
| I'm on number one. We don't need cigars first thing in the morning. | |
| No other way! Vitamin C! Everyone knows the importance of vitamin C. What does cigar begin with? | |
| C. That's right. | |
| Coffee, cigars. Now, unfortunately, two of my females are asleep and my waiter is not here yet. | |
| He doesn't start for 45 minutes, so we're just gonna have some more water. | |
| I've not even finished my two liters. | |
| I know it's Pride Month, but you're gonna have to up your game, okay? | |
| Come out of the closet, drink your water, have your latency. | |
| It's good for you. You're going to feel great today. | |
| You're never going to have felt this energized in your life. | |
| It's going to be amazing. | |
| After we have two or three coffees, we can have our fire blood. | |
| Alex, we're going to die. | |
| We're actually going to die. | |
| I do this every day. I know you do. | |
| This is how I eat every day. | |
| It's not special. Everyone makes fun of me. | |
| I eat every day. But when we fight, how come I win? | |
| I have no rebuttal to that. | |
| You've had two liters of water. | |
| Now we're about to have... | |
| How much is in these? | |
| I don't even know. Six of these make two liters. | |
| Three of these make a liter. 330 milliliters. | |
| And you have 30 a day. | |
| At least. You're going to overdose on water. | |
| I'm not gay. I don't die from water. | |
| Sorry. | |
| And that's Pride Month, Bailey. | |
| Can you stop being gay and smoke a cigar? | |
| Come on, buddy. | |
| Nice. Well done. | |
| I'm going to throw up. You know what? | |
| Nothing seems better to me right now than washing down my water with some fresh water. | |
| Tell me about it. Now you're talking. | |
| Let's go. I'll swallow your smoke. | |
| Makes you strong. Alex, your turn. | |
| Alex, that two liters is full. | |
| Full, Alex. I'm going to drink two liters. | |
| Alex! Alex, I just did it. | |
| You do it. I will do it half and half. | |
| Alex, there's no... No, you're going to drink it. | |
| My mind's been done. | |
| The first five minutes. Bam! | |
| Okay, five minutes. There's no half measures. | |
| Full measures are going to be... | |
| Alex, f*** off. | |
| I just did it in 30 seconds. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| I'm gonna do it. | |
| I'm gonna do it. | |
| of war. | |
| I'm not going to lie. | |
| Five meters more. I need five meters more. | |
| Why? It's hard. | |
| I'm not trained to drink like this water. | |
| For me neither! | |
| Alright, he's one can down, two liters down. | |
| He's literally gonna need to film me, film everyone else. | |
| Well, I trust the consumption chance. | |
| Tristan can live my diet, no problem. | |
| I know he can, but I'm documenting it. | |
| I finished my water. | |
| Whose water is still full? Alex. | |
| I'm smoking. I'm not complaining. | |
| Alex, that's how a hero does it. | |
| Two liters down. | |
| 15 seconds. | |
| Let's go, T. Let's go! | |
| Alex, quit being a little bitch. | |
| Drink your water. Alex, finish your water. | |
| Keeping score. | |
| And I... Now I have a can down, two liters down, one coffee down. | |
| Let's do this. Alex has not finished his water. | |
| No, Alex has not finished his water. | |
| Bullion. Almost done. Tristan, I've got a tally system going. | |
| What have you had today? These cigars are very, very good, so we have to finish all of it. | |
| Yeah. What have I had today? I actually woke up at 6.30, so I actually had two coffees that made me. | |
| We're ready for me. For two coffees. | |
| And some water from, like, this much of a bottle. | |
| But now you see why that's not a possible thing. | |
| Tristan, you pounded two liters in a matter of seconds. | |
| My man, that a boy, that a boy. | |
| Also known to eat from plates and other plates. | |
| Top of the morning to ya. | |
| Top of the morning. Mmm! | |
| That's all. Right. | |
| Now it's time to start. | |
| Caffeine with nicotine. | |
| Equals protein. Coffee one, done. | |
| Don't worry. Coffee's coming for everybody. | |
| Can't warn them too Nice | |
| Oh Oh | |
| I'm falling down. | |
| Oh my god. Thank you very much. | |
| All coffees, yeah. Look. | |
| That's fine. Just leave them like that. | |
| Just leave the tray. I'm gonna wait 15 minutes till it's cold and neck it in one. | |
| Alex, you are super behind. | |
| What do you mean? You're one coffee behind. | |
| You're one can of water behind. Ah, it's true. | |
| It's true. But then it's not a problem. | |
| The hardest part was to drink these two liters. | |
| Not gonna lie, that was kind of hard. | |
| My diet is designed to make me as irritable as possible. | |
| Maximum stress. | |
| So lots of caffeine, lots of nicotine, hunger, but hydrated. | |
| But very irritable. | |
| On edge. You know? | |
| Because that's how you get things done. | |
| It's how you fight the best. It's how you lift the most weights. | |
| It's how you do the most work. Everyone's so busy going through life trying to find this peace and happiness bullshit. | |
| If I eat a nice meal, have a nice breakfast, then I can sit and relax and enjoy the sunshine. | |
| Like a fucking faggot. | |
| No. I'm hungry. | |
| I'm full of caffeine. | |
| I'm full of nicotine. I've got problems to fix. | |
| I'm smoking my cigar. I need more caffeine and more nicotine. | |
| I need to be jittery. You know? | |
| For the fast twitch. | |
| Do you understand? I have engineered my diet to make me as pissed off as possible. | |
| My testosterone level is off the charts. | |
| I'm sure my blood's full of cortisol and it feels great. | |
| Fire blood. My diet is the reason why my testosterone level on that stupid chart, which I don't even understand, between 7 and 29 for the normal range, is 34 or whatever it is. | |
| Because of my diet. Of course it is. | |
| Because my diet is designed to make me want to kill. | |
| And I do want to kill him. | |
| All of the time. That's how you get ahead, Bailey. | |
| That's how you get ahead. You can't be bound by your morals. | |
| You white people don't get this. | |
| Us brown people understand. | |
| You're all sitting around in morality. | |
| Fuck that crap off. | |
| You could fix your border crisis with a little bit of... | |
| You could! It has nothing to do with diet. | |
| You start talking about diet. What's this rant? | |
| If the white man was on my diet, they'd fix their border crisis with bullets. | |
| Two or three snipers, done. | |
| Instead, you're sitting around going, we can't just shoot them. | |
| Had a nice breakfast this morning. | |
| Let's use the water cannons. | |
| And then they sit and say, oh, you're all barbaric, you people. | |
| We use water cannons. | |
| We're nice, moral, good people who had our sunny-side-up eggs. | |
| But we're invading you. We're going to take over. | |
| You understand? The people who are coming to your border are hungry. | |
| Pissed off. You're sitting around with full bellies. | |
| Can't win. Not in the long run. | |
| No, sir. So you keep fucking having your porridge oats, you little fag. | |
| And my people are gonna stay hungry and stay motivated to conquer your shit. | |
| You built the entire modern world, you white Europeans. | |
| Gave it to us. Thanks! | |
| Didn't build nothing. Thanks. | |
| Turned up yet. Where's the welfare? | |
| Where's the house? Good morning. | |
| Morning. What's the play? | |
| You have to catch up, bro. How far behind am I? This is just a normal day for me. | |
| We're not being crazy. I'm not Tristan. | |
| This is just my normal diet. | |
| Your two cans or three cans of water. | |
| Two liter bottle. I'll... | |
| I'm the judge here. Okay. | |
| So first of all, you need a two liter bottle of water. | |
| You have to drink it as fast as possible. | |
| Start your day. It's Andrew's diet day. | |
| It's Andrew's diet day. So you need a two liter bottle of water. | |
| You need cans of water. You need a cigar. | |
| You need about two or three coffees. If you want to catch up, I have to catch up. | |
| Right now. Two liters of water. | |
| One can of water. | |
| And one coffee. | |
| And you have to start a cigar. So one coffee. | |
| Nice. One can of what? | |
| Water. Yeah, you gotta start with the two liters before you do anything before anything good man Coffee number three I'm not gonna lie my stomach kind of hurts It does. | |
| I feel physically ill. | |
| It's Andrew's cameraman. Yeah. | |
| I don't know you. I don't know. | |
| Who are you? Never heard of her. | |
| Stranger. Like, all the way. | |
| Bro, we all did it. What the fuck? | |
| I did mine in about, what do you think, 12, 13 seconds? | |
| 15 seconds max. It takes me three or four minutes. | |
| I don't do it quick. It's all a race, guys. | |
| We're not in a race. | |
| It's just my diet. | |
| You don't have to race it, but you do have to do it. | |
| Am I allowed to have additional things, like gonsters? | |
| So I have to stick to your diet? | |
| I can't do your diet and also have shots of tequila. | |
| Just checking. Oh my god. | |
| You did that in 10 seconds? | |
| Yeah. Yes, I might. The fuck? | |
| Scared of war. I'm ready for war! | |
| American government's coming for me. | |
| Come! Come! | |
| Coffee, cigar? Come! | |
| Puppy tail! | |
| Give a fuck. | |
| Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! | |
| Never lost a game. | |
| I feel like shit. | |
| Bro, war is good for you. | |
| No, no, you took pass. After you start the coffee and the smoke, it's good. | |
| You know this is my second one, Marcel. | |
| No, Marcel finished. Is it? | |
| Is it? Let me see. | |
| Yeah. | |
| It's 50-50. | |
| Ah, all right. | |
| Not bad. | |
| My redemption, kids. | |
| Alright, so there's a gallon of water down. | |
| Are you? Are you? | |
| That doesn't make sense, what the fuck? | |
| Life is made up of days. | |
| One year, one month, one decade. | |
| The biggest buildings were built one brick at a time. | |
| You need to stop getting lost. | |
|
Daily Checklist Feature
00:00:32
|
|
| You need to hold yourself accountable every step of the way. | |
| That's why, in the real world, we've created an in-platform feature exactly for this. | |
| With the daily checklist, you now have the ability to conquer your tasks with automatic organization seamlessly integrated into your student dashboards. | |
| You can create tasks, add descriptions, complete them, and increase your power level as a result. | |
| Stop trying to remember what you need to do next. | |
| Open up the Real World app, watch your checklist load right up in front of you, and get to work. | |
| That is speed. That is how you build faster than everyone else. | |
| Just one of the many systems built only inside of the real world. | |