| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Why No Thanksgiving?
00:01:39
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|
| So we're actually having a Thanksgiving dinner. | |
| It looks so, eh? I know you did this whole thing for me because I'm American, so I just want to say thank you. | |
| Who's he? Hey, hey, hey. | |
| Oh, sorry. Yeah, to be fair, it wasn't for either of you. | |
| We hate you both. It was for Marcel. | |
| That's true. Aw, | |
| poor Alex. That's a big turkey. | |
| T, we're in Romania. Why aren't we having a Thanksgiving dinner? | |
| Most of these people don't even know what Thanksgiving is. | |
| But you know, baby. I do. | |
| Did you do this all for me? | |
| Well, the thing is, I want to remind you of the typical American tradition for Thanksgiving. | |
| Because if I have my way, you'll never see your family again. | |
| Thanks, Steve. You're welcome. | |
| What's your go-to Thanksgiving dish, I should say? | |
| What letter does fish begin with? | |
| F. So fuck off. | |
|
Why It's A Dangerous Drink
00:05:42
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|
| Okay. Andrew, I have a serious question. | |
| It's Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? | |
| I really enjoy to eat my meal in peace. | |
| I'll be left alone. I'll be hostile when I'm trying to eat with some camera. | |
| That was his only Thanksgiving wish, and you spoiled it. | |
| What are you thankful for, T? My mediocre cameraman. | |
| Thanks, I'm thankful for you as well. | |
| Just what I have here. | |
| Espresso Martinis, yeah? | |
| Espresso Martinis? No, Espresso Martinis. | |
| It's a classic. Perfect, classic Martinis. | |
| Thank you very much. I'm also thankful for this drink. | |
| I'll take two of those. Alright! | |
| And then about two for him, two for him, two for him. | |
| And one for the lady. | |
| Is that cranberry sauce? Yep. | |
| I've actually never enjoyed cranberry sauce. | |
| Who the fuck asked you your opinion on cranberry sauce? | |
| Since when does the modern world, the world at large, ever wake up and think, I really want to know what Bailey Bolton thinks about cranberry sauce? | |
| I don't think that conversation's ever been had. | |
| I don't think anybody gives a solitary fuck whether you enjoy cranberry sauce or not. | |
| Just don't put on your meal. Yes, I invented a new drink, and I told the barman to do his best. | |
| It's called a palenka colada. | |
| The idea of creamy, milky stuff and palenka makes me want to hear. | |
| Look, I don't know what it tastes like. I made a joke about palenka coladas, and then I said to the barman, good luck. | |
| There are only two men that are going to drink it anyway, so... | |
| Yeah, I'm going to be... Right... | |
| I'm not touching this shit. Take a shot off by the light. | |
| You're out all this great. You know what? | |
| If Bailey's out, I'm in. | |
| If Bailey's out, I'm in. I'm in, always. | |
| Alright, well then I'm out. Tate, how am I grasping at straws when there's one drink on the entire table and it's sitting in front of none other than Tristan Tate? | |
| Yeah, you're accusing him of being one short. | |
| That's terrible. Sorry, how many drinks on the table? | |
| One. Are you sure? | |
| Two? Alright, now there's two. | |
| Where's yours? Now there's three. | |
| Let me move this. Four. | |
| Put them all right here, bro. All of them. | |
| Five. Six. | |
| All right, I might have messed up. | |
| You just sealed your own fucking death warrant in wax. | |
| You, my friend, are finished. | |
| And I have more coming. | |
| You have more coming. Yes, I do. | |
| The Polygon Kalamazoo. | |
| Marshall thinks you can't tell the difference between whiskeys. | |
| I don't know if he's double buffed me or not, but I've actually mixed him up to the point where I don't know. | |
| He doesn't know, because I mixed him up, so he doesn't know. | |
| Yep. | |
| you Then I'm pretty sure I can tell the difference. | |
| One I can tell the difference a million percent immediately because keep in mind I'm a I'm a whiskey expert I'm a cigar expert I'm an expert of this and I know which one is which so now that I know which one is which and I know I mixed them up so you can't tell but I know you'd know Marcel believes that all whiskeys taste the same okay so what you're gonna do is Marcel you're gonna take a sip Of one glass, a bit of water, then the other glass. | |
| Then you're gonna wait and take a sip of the other glass, a bit of water, and the other glass. | |
| Do you understand? Yeah, and I have to say if I think it's different. | |
| You have to tell which one is the more, the better whiskey. | |
| Okay, cool. | |
| Different, right? | |
| Yeah, I feel like that's much better. | |
| Okay. | |
| Number one, number two, which one's which? | |
| What do you think, Marcel? | |
| One and two. One, two. | |
| What is number one? Sorry to interrupt, but you have your palinka colada. | |
| I'm going to bathe. | |
| Who needs water? | |
| Blue label, red label. | |
| Easy. So, two is the best, one is the worst, yes? | |
| Easy. So, yes, you agreed, you agreed, and I can confirm as a whiskey drinker that you're completely correct. | |
| Blue Label and Red Label are different. So, well done, gentlemen. | |
| But here's the thing, Marcel, they're not all the same. | |
| And there we go, the co-arms. | |
| Signature of Mr. Tape, yeah? | |
| Yes, and... | |
| If it's good, we put it in the menu. | |
| Here's what we're going to do. | |
| Is this the barman? | |
| No, he's my colleague. | |
| Your colleague is included in the service tip I gave you. | |
| Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to have 250 lates to the barman as a tip before I try it. | |
| And if it's good, I'm gonna give him another 250. | |
| Alright. If it's average, I'm not gonna tip him anything. | |
| And if it's really, really shit, I'll tip him 250. | |
| Alright. For trying. Alright, let's see. | |
| Palenka Colada. So what do I think of it? | |
| Looks interesting. I'm not joking. | |
| It's actually kind of good. Is it actually good? | |
| Honestly, Palenka's may be the only drink. | |
| With pineapple and shit, it somehow works. | |
| That's not bad. Is it not? | |
| Do you know what? It's Marcelle's, it's not bad. | |
| Alright, here. I'm actually encouraged. | |
| Let's go. Cheers. I'll tell you why it's a dangerous drink. | |
| Because it actually is kind of nice and it will get you fucked up. | |
| That's incredible. I'm not having another one. | |
|
Furious Fit Fiasco
00:03:27
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|
| Oh my gosh. You won't have another one. | |
| I'll have another one. Marvin, what would I have to do for you to add Palenka Colada to the menu? | |
| You just have to sign the menu so they know it's your signature. | |
| I'm ready to do that. I will happily put my name behind the pickup. | |
| Palenka Colada, designed by Tristan Tate. | |
| Yeah. Oh, yeah? That's the real thing. | |
| Yeah, she did it. I've had two. | |
| You've had one. What did you say? | |
| I've had one. Wait, wait, wait. | |
| I've had what, three? I'll let you keep the championship. | |
| Sorry, how many have you had again, baby? Tristan, what do you get the man who has it all? | |
| No way! No way. | |
| Those better be dress suits for suits. | |
| Yes. What the fuck is that? | |
| These are for you, Frank. | |
| For me? Yeah. I've got Marcel a pair. | |
| I think these are Marcel's size. I've got a pair for Marcel. | |
| Oh my god. How much you left out? | |
| I decided to get you a pair. | |
| Tristan, you're not going to win this war. | |
| So you may as well just give in and admit that it is the future of footwear. | |
| Tristan, you've been beaten. | |
| Tristan, put them on. Tristan, no. | |
| Put them on. No, D. No. | |
| Not the Crocs. | |
| I'll get you. Don't worry, I'll order another foot. | |
| We'll get him eventually. That's the other day of Crocs. | |
| Never. Never ever. | |
| Can't do it. Tristan wanted to try them on, so I turned the camera on. | |
| He immediately retracts his statement. | |
| I want them in the trash. | |
| Why don't you take them in the trash? Shit. | |
| That's where they belong. Also, Marcel. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Guess what? | |
| What? | |
| They got you some props. | |
| Now Marcel, now is a very important moment in your life. | |
| Where you have to decide between being white or being black. | |
| Being a man or being a loser who wears a props. | |
| So what you need to do, Marcel, is take those, like I did, and throw them in the trash. | |
| Don't do it, Marcel. My parents, I threw them in the trash. | |
| The person got them out. | |
| Marcel, put them on. | |
| And be a hero. And be a hero. | |
| Don't do it. Marcel, you can't. | |
| Put them on. Think how, listen. | |
| Don't think I annoy Diane. | |
| No. Yeah, exactly. If you don't wear them, I won't care that much. | |
| But if you do wear them, Tristan won't care a lot. | |
| Marcel, you can't- The people that does more annoy- You can't bring the unbalance to the household. | |
| Right now, it's two losers against three or four not-losers. | |
| You can't fuck it up. | |
| But you would be pissed. | |
| I'd be furious. Marcel, I'm not even going to lie. | |
| I will be furious if you put this on your feet. | |
| I swear to God, I will never forgive you. | |
| Yes! Marcel! | |
| No, no, no, don't do it. | |
|
Give the Gift That Keeps on Giving
00:02:37
|
|
| This is crazy. | |
| See? Tristan, it's a whole new experience. | |
| The takeover continues. | |
| Tristan. You're all retarded. | |
| Wait, wait. Seriously, look how cool they are. | |
| Shit. Marcel. | |
| My man. You look super cool, bro. | |
| You will never financially recover. | |
| Tristan, this is crazy. | |
| You have to get there. | |
| 10 out of 10 experience, right? | |
| 20 out of 10. Easy. | |
| Tactical. I'm not used to that. | |
| But they're actually comfortable now. | |
| You've got to break them in. | |
| Look how fast that is. | |
| Look, look. Dang! | |
| You definitely need some now. | |
| He's like Sonic. | |
| Basically Sonic. | |
| Do you know a young man who is wasting his potential? | |
| Smart, but plays too many video games? | |
| Uninterested in school? | |
| Hanging with the wrong crowd? | |
| Give the gift that keeps on giving. | |
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