| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
I'm Richer Than You
00:07:30
|
|
| I'm a mastermind genius with near unlimited finance. | |
| Okay. I thought I'd flex on my YouTube series. | |
| I thought I'd flex on it. So what do you want to do? | |
| I want to tell them. I'm richer than you probably. | |
| Definitely kick your ass. But I'm not. | |
| For the broke boys. So I was sitting in the flower garden and fucking picking things. | |
| That is not flexing. | |
| That is flexing. It's not. | |
| We got ribbons, jelly beans. | |
| Oh, jelly beans. Shit. Ice creams. | |
| Bye, broke boys. Is Sambuca tequila and Tabasco hot sauce. | |
| That's what's in this. | |
| I got one especially in your uncle. | |
| Because yesterday, you wanted to be king of ordering stuff and order so much food and so much cheesecake that you almost bankrupted me. | |
| I'm the king of ordering shit today. | |
| So we're smoking and we're drinking these. | |
| Oh my god. That is absolutely horrible. | |
| Enjoy, bro. I'm gonna tell you about the best business man I've ever met in my life. | |
| The best business man I've ever met in my life was a homeless man who lives in South Korea. | |
| Because business is all about the safe. | |
| So it's about the pitch and the close. | |
| So it's all about the what? So I'd say, you know, would you like a cigar? | |
| The cigar is beautiful. It's handmade. | |
| It's wonderful. Then the clothes is, it costs this much, but it's cheaper if you buy now. | |
| The picture in the clothes is how you do business. | |
| Now, this Korean homeless guy had the art of business. | |
| Forget Donald Trump. Forget Donald Trump. | |
| This guy was the business mastermind of the world. | |
| He would see you from about 50 meters away and start waving. | |
| Smiling, you give me thumbs up. | |
| So what do you do? I mean, he's not intimidating. | |
| You smile, give him a thumbs up, you wave back. | |
| He smiles more, he waves, he approaches you, he gets closer and closer. | |
| He comes over to you and you're like, who the fuck is this? | |
| Yeah. So then the guy's over and he's within, like, touching distance of you. | |
| You're smiling, you give him one final wave and smile. | |
| He then works out a sign from behind himself that says, please, some cash. | |
| And goes like this. Now... | |
| The pitch has been done. He's your boy now. | |
| You've been smiling at him. You've been talking to him for five minutes. | |
| He's your friend now. He's your friend. | |
| Because he may be approached from, oh, you're already waving and smiling. | |
| He's coming out going, hey, thumbs up and all this shit. | |
| Now he's your buddy. And then the clothes come to the police and cash stuff. | |
| What are you going to do? Give him some cash. | |
| I gave him cash every time I saw him, for the whole new Cubs in South Korea, which was about five times. | |
| I even took a picture with him. | |
| Our waiter looks like the Indian version of the Whelm Stone Raider. | |
| That you want some guy. | |
| Everyone knows him. You've got no friends! | |
| You've got no drowned! | |
| They're fucking ultra-pain, though. | |
| I'm telling you. What do you want some? Huh? | |
| Do you want some? What do you want some or what? | |
| If you want some, I'll give it you up. | |
| This is what? Which one is this? | |
| Sapphire. Good. | |
| You want some? Yeah. | |
| You want some? No you don't? | |
| If you want some I'll give it. | |
| No you don't want some? | |
| No I don't. That's cool. | |
| These hordes are playing well | |
| I | |
| I'm jumping in. | |
| Hell no. | |
| I'm falling. | |
| I have a saying, oceans are just swimming pools for poor people. | |
| You're the third world country, you're four people scratching around the ocean. | |
| Look, I like my luxury, clear-ass swimming pool. | |
| No sharks, no jellyfish, no one shits in it. | |
| It's wonderful. It's comfortable as shit. | |
| I can see why they wear it. | |
| I feel rich. Yeah, but we are a bit rich. | |
| They might smell richer. I do feel richer. | |
| What shall we buy? You want to go to the mall dress like this? | |
| Buy things. I'm down if you are. | |
| Damn man, you've been taller than I am. | |
| Big mother fucker. Ain't no need for that. | |
| Not in this heat. Hell no. | |
| It's full speed yeah? | |
| I like this. | |
| You got the power. | |
|
Nine Hours to Stuttgart
00:02:33
|
|
| It's like the Corvette. | |
| Fucking hell. | |
| It is like the Corvette. | |
| So yeah, I'm Bolton McLaren. | |
| Everything was fine. One day I'm driving it. | |
| It says suspension control downgraded. | |
| I don't know what that means. So I ignored it. | |
| Next day, turn it on. It's fine again. | |
| Turn it on again. Fucking EBS system fault. | |
| Mode change fault. | |
| All these faults are going off. None of it made sense. | |
| So I was like, all right, this car's got to go to McLaren. | |
| Booker S says every supercar garage in the world except McLaren. | |
| And Romania have Europe-wide assist, so they'll collect your car from anywhere in Europe except Romania. | |
| McLaren have Europe-wide assist. | |
| McLaren will have Europe-wide assist. | |
| They'll collect your car from anywhere in Europe if it breaks down except Romania. | |
| So, I spoke to Stuttgart, Germany, which is like three countries away. | |
| You've got to go through Romania, through Hungary, through Austria, and then into the top of Germany. | |
| It's long. But they said they'd collect it from the Hungarian border. | |
| So I drove nine hours to the border of Hungary from Romania, went to this small town where obviously I had to go fuck because I don't go fuck every town in Romania. | |
| So I was like, fine, I'll just drop the car off, stay with her until the car comes back. | |
| When I got to the border of Romania-Hungary, I fucking forgot my passport like a dickhead. | |
| So I'm all the way there and I forgot my passport. | |
| So I call up the delivery truck guy and I said, bro, you need to come into Romania like 20 meters. | |
| There's a gas station either side of the burner. | |
| I'm at the gas station on the side. There's a Hungarian guy goes, no, I don't like Romanians. | |
| I was like, what? Bro, just 20 meters. | |
| I'm not Romanian. I'm American. No, fuck Romanians. | |
| And hung up with me. So I was like, what's the story? | |
| We could see the truck, by the way. | |
| We were in a gas station, and about half a kilometer away, we could see the other gas station with the truck. | |
| We saw him. So I start calling him, calling him. | |
| He's ignoring me, ignoring me. | |
| Eventually, I call McLaren back, and they're like, oh yeah, you canceled. | |
| I was like, what? Your delivery truck one guy goes, no, the delivery truck guy called and said that you didn't want to put your car on the truck. | |
| Some fucking Hungarian guy. | |
| I've never had a guy this weird in my life. | |
| Complete bullshit. So that delayed me by a day. | |
| Went and slammed my ballerina. | |
| Came back the next day. And they sent a German guy who wasn't a fucking retard. | |
| Picked the car up and took it. | |
| And then, to be fair to McLaren, they got it all the way to Stuttgart. | |
| Took a day. One day they repaired it. | |
| And one day back. So for two days I chilled in this town. | |
| Got my car back. Didn't pay anything. | |
| And it's been fine ever since. | |
| They upgraded the software. | |
| Supposedly it was a software issue. But they're saying there's nothing actually wrong with the car. | |
| It's just the car sensors are saying there's things wrong with the car, wrong parameters, etc. | |
| So yeah, warning lights are a thing with McLaren. | |
| But in a straight line, that car is fucking crazy. | |
| Even though it doesn't go in a straight line. | |
| Yeah, even though it doesn't grip. | |
| That's the thing with it, though. It's like, it's 50-50. | |
| Sometimes you put your foot down as a rocket ship. | |
| Sometimes you put your foot down, you don't go anywhere. | |
| It's kind of luck. Do you grip or not? | |