| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Back to London
00:04:19
|
|
| Good shot, Manfred T! Good shot, Manfred T! | |
| I think we're gonna take that. | |
| We're finally back. Home sweet home, eh? | |
| What do you think Tristan? Glad to be home? | |
| Let me just go back to London personally. | |
| Mix it up a little bit. It's been anxious to swoop into London. | |
| We late just got back. London was the worst disaster. | |
| I will never financially recover from London. | |
| Why? What do you mean? | |
| London was great. Remember the salt? | |
| It was hell on earth. | |
| It wasn't hell on earth. | |
| We have one more plate. London was hell on earth, and I'm never leaving Romania again. | |
| Why was London hell on earth, and why would you never leave Romania again? | |
| Because Romania is the promised land where I'm happy. | |
| Why can't you just let me be happy? | |
| It is quite nice. Okay. | |
| What if 13 degrees in sun, I've got a bunch of supercars, a massive mansion, and 21 girlfriends? | |
| I don't know. What if I can show you a card trick? | |
| And I guarantee you... | |
| I'm not talking to you. No, no, no, no. | |
| Wait, wait, wait. I'm interested. | |
| I absolutely guarantee you that I'm going to show you a card trick and I guarantee by the end of the card trick that you're happy to believe in Romania. | |
| They don't have any fucking cards. | |
| Do you agree that if I show you a card trick that you're going to act within your instinct and at the end of the card trick, if you feel like being Romania, that you'll be on a plane? | |
| Do you agree with that? Because I am a magician. | |
| Do you agree? Sure. | |
| The femme-centric systems Enslaved man. | |
| I saw some dude the other day, some guy on Twitter. | |
| He's a big Bitcoin guy. It's him and his fucking wife and he's had a kid. | |
| Yay, my kid. I've got a kid. | |
| In days of old, any dude with money, he'd spread his genetic seed everywhere. | |
| He'd have 50 kids with fucking 30 chicks. | |
| But now he's going to have a couple kids with one chick. | |
| Why? Not because that's what he truly wants. | |
| Because the woman will get mad if he doesn't. | |
| The female controls them, the female inheritance. | |
| Well, my wife won't leave me and cry her eyes out if I get my pee-pee wet. | |
| You got a fucking chick telling me what to do with your own dick? | |
| You got women controlling your body parts? | |
| Minafi, listen to them. | |
| So, what me and Tristan do is very, very important by attempting to rebalance the universe with our Aikido. | |
| Please understand, there is no female on the planet. | |
| Who would not be a loving, loyal, subservient girlfriend to men of our calendar. | |
| Of course, there's nowhere else to fucking go. | |
| But I refuse to allow that to happen. | |
| You can either buy yourself a nice, reliable Toyota, or you can buy yourself a McLaren and all its problems. | |
| Because when you have the best of the best, problems come with it. | |
| I refuse to allow some bitch to get a reliable McLaren in me. | |
| In fact, I'm so offended, fuck being loyal. | |
| I'm offended if a bitch thinks I'm loyal. | |
| Well, you think I have no hoes? | |
| Do I look like a fucking punk to you? | |
| So, for that reason, to re-establish balance in the universe because of this bitch shit I just saw on Twitter, some dude who's not gonna have 20 sons, he's afraid of his fucking wife, like a loser. | |
| What I'm gonna do is invite all of my girlfriends, some of them I've already met, some of them don't know the others, All of them to the house today. | |
|
Offended By Loyalty
00:11:12
|
|
| And when I say all of them, I mean all of them. | |
| Bring me everyone. Everyone. | |
| So they can all sit there and go, who's this girl? | |
| Listen, you little fucking cunt. | |
| If you think a man like me has to be loyal to some stupid whoopie like you, you're out of your fucking mind. | |
| You ain't been through a fraction of the shit I've been through to become the man I am. | |
| You're nothing. You're a little fucking whoopie. | |
| What are you? Who the fuck doesn't? | |
| I don't care. I'm bringing all of them. | |
| And this is a test of loyalty. | |
| Because if you will not remain loyal to me while I cheat on you with eight girls in front of your face, then I don't need you. | |
| So, to combat against the femcentric systems of Earth, Tristan, we have to invite every single girl that we are currently dating to the house at once. | |
| And if they want to cry about it, there's enough room. | |
| We're going to see. If they want to cry about it, I'm a fair man. | |
| So because I'm fair, if they want to cry and they want to get upset, I will offer any single one of them, fair, guys, don't jump in, one-on-one combat. | |
| Don't jump in. That's fair. | |
| One-on-one. If you're really that upset and you want to scream in my face, that's fine. | |
| We can have one-on-one combat outside. | |
| If you win, I'll get rid of the other girls. | |
| But if you lose, you can take your busted-up eye and get the fuck out of my house! | |
| You'll drop me, and you really won't. | |
| ["Bad Boyz"] | |
| Let me burn, yeah. | |
| Do that, let me burn, let me burn. | |
| Let me burn. | |
| Big and funky, glow, never low, no. | |
| We are fire, with the shots in my shoulder. | |
| I'm a show like you made from the bottom of my lung. | |
| Make a choice, I'm your jail, I'm a swindler. | |
| Big up, I'm the money, more than that. | |
| Hold my hand like a drug in a dream. | |
| Baby, I'm gonna do it, I'm a boss, like a cookie. | |
| I'm a show like you made from the bottom of my lung. | |
| I'm dressed in my evening's finest and I tend to go down with the ship like a gentleman. | |
| Guggenheim, this is for you, Mr. | |
| Guggenheim. Well, thank you. We are dressed in our best and are prepared to go down as gentlemen. | |
| But we would like a brandy. | |
| What am I doing? | |
| Why? I don't know. | |
| Absorbing the stare of death. | |
| From the living. | |
| All serious. | |
| And in making your way. | |
| Safely talking. | |
| Hey. | |
| What are you doing? | |
| We can learn. We can learn. | |
| Set this place on fire. | |
| Oh, it's hot. Oh, it's hot. | |
| Damn, it's hot. | |
| I'm a baby. | |
| What are we doing? | |
| What is this? | |
| I'm going to generate yoga fire. | |
| Yoga fire is not real. | |
| Alright, it is real. | |
| If I bust out yoga fire, what the fuck are you doing? | |
| These rubies come at me and I, you know, yoga fire. | |
| Yoga fire. Boom. | |
| Boom, boom. I actually think you can take all of them. | |
| You could. I actually believe that. | |
| I can take all of them. Genuinely. Alright. | |
| Take all the interviewers. Genuinely. | |
| Who do you think would win in a fight? | |
| All of them. Or Andrew? | |
| That's not real. That doesn't make you invisible. | |
| The booze was amazing, you can't hear me. | |
| 🎵 | |
| I don't know if you all know this, but all- It's really important. He's been trying to hide it. | |
| It's Luke's birthday. It's Luke's birthday. | |
| He's, uh, 16 today. | |
| If you want to give a round of applause, we'll give a clap for Luke. | |
| We made it to 16. | |
| Congratulations. You're like your first drink. | |
| So who hasn't got shot? I got one. | |
| Everyone needs at least a shot. | |
| That's better than you want. Don't trust your maintenance. | |
| And this is big happy birthday to my favorite cousin, and it's Luke's birthday too. | |
| Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. | |
| Happy birthday. Alright, put that vanilla back on. | |
| Okay guys, sorry to interrupt. | |
| I don't know if anyone knows this, but it's Alex's birthday today. | |
| Happy birthday, Alex! | |
| Happy birthday! Happy birthday, Alex. | |
| I was going to stab him today, but I decided not to. | |
| Better present. We all threw a shot for Alex. | |
| Alex is 14 today. | |
| Girls, shots. Come, come, come. | |
| Come here, everybody. | |
| Bring your glasses. | |
| Happy birthday, Alex. | |
| Happy birthday, Alex. | |
| Alex, I hope this birthday will be your last. | |
| Iris, we hope this is your last ever birthday. | |
| So we want to make it good. We hope you don't make a few next ones. | |
| Take vaccine and have a heart attack along with everybody else. | |
| Take two. Booster. | |
| every six months I'm happy birthday. Happy birthday. Wait, wait, the truth is, girls, right? No, they can't. They can't hear you. When | |
| we do this, you can't hear you. Oh, Sorry, I'm meditating, I can't hear you. | |
| They're meditating, don't interrupt them. | |
| Listen, go upstairs. Go upstairs and tell her that the flame is just in the air. | |
| That's important. | |
| Smoke on Aikido! Never done before! | |
| We're going to get you in custody and burn you because you believe in the fire. He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| He's down for sick! | |
| Go down higher. | |
| Sitting downstairs. | |
| It's not real. | |
| What you bitch? | |
| That's not real Go God higher That's real What am I doing an impression of? | |
| Luke. Yeah, Luke. Wait, what? | |