ROLLS ROYCE SUPER SPREADERS | Tate Confidential Ep. 119
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Good song and routine!
Bark! Don't tempt us.
We're that crazy. Andrew, you need a second one.
You're starting to sell me a second one.
If you had one of those, and I know that you don't, if you had one of those, you may well sell me a lot of them.
We don't need two of these.
Nah, we're drunk enough.
We actually lost him the last six days.
Every night.
We were in pain.
We throw a lot of things, you know.
How do you want your vegetables?
Do you want your vegetables in dust?
Yeah, that's fine.
You just saw him make a say, that's fine.
The...
...
And there's Rolls-Royce pens as well.
We'll get them next time. When we go for lunch next time, we'll take the pens.
Oh, these are spare umbrellas for our door.
You've got umbrellas in the car.
Yes, these are just for the trunk, yeah?
I'm making weapons, bro.
I'm making weapons. I'm getting swords.
I know. It wasn't already.
What are you guys doing? Oh, you've never seen this before?
No. Men like you, anyone else have seen this?
Oh, so like a ritual.
Yeah, you know, I'm familiar with the dance, obviously.
How many Rolls-Roycees have you bought? How many?
None. When they teach you guys.
Okay. The new Rolls-Royce dance.
Exactly. Four years ago.
You get to be the first one to drive on your Rolls Royce, because I am drinking champagne with my friend Steven.
That's fair. You do the driving, I'll do the drinking.
I can always do the drink driving, but brand new Rolls Royce, London, I scratch a wheel.
No, thank you.
Complimentary champagne on Rolls Royce.
Yeah, but it's only for people who buy Rolls Royce.
I think that's Rolls Royce champagne.
True, true. You need to know the dance moves.
Yeah, you don't know dance. Yeah, that way, now you can't have any champagne.
Yeah. But, I'll have to drink some.
I've actually lost my voice from talking too loud in my closet.
Where in Spain?
We drove through from top to bottom.
We started in Santander and drove all the way through, all the way down to my bed, out of the canteen.
The copy's done. So we drink that.
Rolls-Royce beers. Yeah, Rolls-Royce beers.
I'll do the congestion charge for today and tomorrow.
Appreciate that. Thank you very much.
You have to stay here.
Oh, it is beautiful here.
I'm going to go ahead and get my camera.
I'm going to play a short video.
It's a beautiful day.
There's... To be fair, the back seats are a bit small.
Listen, I think you two should get an Uber.
That's a brand new Rolls Royce.
Get an Uber. Stop talking to me.
You should both get an Uber. Ah.
Ah-ha. Touche.
You're lucky, or you'd be in an Uber.
As for you, you cunt. Fuck!
What's your leverage? If I'm walking...
Should've worn your walking shoes.
Some light rain with my morning coffee.
Storm is coming. And this light rain is the exact situation we're in right now.
I don't know if many of you people understand.
But if you do not instantly buy the lies, if you do not instantly agree with the narrative which they purport, you are their enemy.
They hate you. They don't just dislike you.
They actively despise you.
The more you think and question their narrative, the less powerful their narrative is.
I don't even have to say what I'm talking about.
I don't want to get banned, right? But it can be about anything.
Imagine you're in charge of the world.
Imagine the ego you have as you're in charge of the world.
You own all the media outlets.
You control all the money. And you say, this is true.
The sky is green.
And somebody goes, but I've used my own eyes and it's blue.
That hurts your ego.
Who are you to question me?
They don't like you as a person.
They actively despise you as an individual and they're aiming to crush you.
The only limit on authoritarianism is the will of the police to enforce it.
Look at Australia. If the police are stupid enough to completely enforce absolute tyranny, this is what the people in charge of the world want.
In countries like Romania, they can't get away with it because the police won't do it to their fellow man.
But that's changing in real time.
The only way you can combat things like this That is, in my experience, a strong network of individuals.
Maybe you think you're so tough and you're a lone wolf and you can do it all by yourself and you can just hide in your computer or you can fucking go Rambo.
Maybe. But me as an individual, I believe I need more powerful friends.
I think the more powerful friends I have, the better I'm going to be in the future.
So every morning I wake up and I'm sitting there thinking, If I need passports, who do I call?
If I need paperwork, who do I call?
If I get arrested, who do I call?
If I need banking, who do I call?
If I need crypto, who do I call? I'm trying to find out what is missing in my network to make sure I always have a guy to call.
If you think this impending tyranny and slavery is something you can negotiate by yourself, if you're Rambo, go do it.
But if you're like me and smart enough to know you're gonna need a little bit help You're welcome.
Don't worry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Are you rich? I feel a bit rich now.
Let's shake hands to being rich. Nah, we're poor.
You look poor. We're poor.
What do you mean? You guys aren't poor?
We hang around with some kid who wears New Balance trainers.
Yeah, fuck, we must look poor.
I mean, because I'm in a tailored suit.
You're in a, what, $2,000 tracksuit from Giorgio Aramont.
Do not insult the price of my tracksuit again.
How much? $4,000? About that.
Well, we hang around with a kid who will not stop wearing...
New Balance trainers. $40 New Balance trainers.
They're not $40, they're $100. Don't make fun of the price of my New Balance trainers.
How long have you had them for? Because they look like shit.
Maybe a year. Why won't you just dress better?
What do you mean? They're good shoes.
So tell me you don't notice my New Balance trainers.
So we can have the rolls. I'm in a tailored suit.
Yeah. You're in one of the world's most expensive track suits that could possibly exist.
And this kid's wearing New Balance trainers.
Yeah, we might be poor, Andrew. No group of rich men would roll like that.
That's right. We might be poor.
Poor on us all looks full. I retract my handshake.
We're a poor group of men.
We're not poor. We are poor.
Buy some new trainers. This was literally bought, basically for fun.
It didn't, it was not a planned out purchase.
It was, we're walking by to get coffee.
Yeah? Huh. I thought I wanted it.
That's a good car. Yeah.
Let's go look at it. Let's buy it.
So? That's not a poor person thing.
But if you walk out with the car in New Balance trainers.
Then you're poor. Then you're poor. Our group of friends is poor.
Me and Andrew are at least mid-level income because we have an impoverished man on our team.
I think there's only ten shirts in the world.
Ten, okay. Hear me out. I'm wearing one.
You're wearing one. He's one. That's three.
Okay. Four, five, six...
Wait. Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven.
Where's the rest? That's eleven, bro.
No one else could possibly have a shirt on.
Man, this does feel good.
Take off of Nashville doesn't know.
That felt good. Smooth.
So we're cruising through England.
Yeah. And I never knew about the hedges.
Yeah. They put hedges on the side of every road and it's the widest car in the world.
We're about one centimeter from the hedges on either side.
Yeah. The mirrors brush them.
Lightly brushed mirrors.
Nice. Scratch that new paint.
Scratch that new paint. Nice.
D-value of the car we just paid half a million dollars for.
Nice. Nice. Wonderful attitude.
Wonderful fucking attitude. I did not know England was like this.
Listen guys, it's worth it.
We're out of afternoon tea. Nice.
Don't start that shit. Nice.
Afternoon tea. What do you mean?
We're in a Rolls in England.
We're not going to have afternoon tea. Exactly.
That doesn't make sense.
You're too good for that, you cunt.
Okay, well, I know where we're going.
It's probably the best place to have afternoon tea.
Don't tell anyone where it is, though.
Don't show any of the signs. Cool.
Keep it hidden.
We're working on it.
Stay in the car.
We're going to the airport.
This is really nice.
I'm glad you wore proper shoes.
Yeah, I have new shoes again.
He likes to come to nice places.
Why do I have to make you more nice shoes?
Might have been more comfortable to walk around with some New Balance.
Good evening. English people are so much nicer than Americans.
Yeah, we dress better, though. Yeah, this isn't...
To the American viewers, they do this.
There's just people. If there was an American here, without instruction from his cousins, he'd be wearing New Balance sneakers and sweatpants.
I would. They probably wouldn't let him in here.
This is very nice.
I know.
No, it's super English.
You put your £50,000 worth of shopping in the boot.
Yeah, London shopping.
And then you come for afternoon tea.
So why were you working at your hotel?
I don't know. I could have just done this the whole time?
Yeah, basically, yeah. Why don't people just do this the whole time?
That's the thing, people watching. I know you think we're joking.
While you're doing your 9 to 5 a bus, you could just be doing this.
They really could. They could.
You can join Hobson University and you can do it.
And I said to them, look, it's Hobson University.
It's $49 a month.
I teach you how to make money. Even if you hate me, I obviously know how to make money.
And they sit there and they go, hmm...
Nah. That's what I don't get.
How stupid are they?
They're stupid, bro. Anyone who's not, anyone with a brain is in Hustlin University.
Anyone who watches this episode and doesn't join is literally a moron.
I'm literally a moron.
We put that screenshot up there on Twitter.
I know. 500 to 30,000.
I know. And all he did was just follow our instructions.
That's literally what happened.
Buy this, do this, boom, 30 grand.
That's literally what happened. People deserve slavery.
They super do. They want to be slaves.
They super do. So why weren't you doing this?
Well, it didn't exist when I was working at Chipotle, to be fair.
I know.
Yep. Man, they have no idea about speed.
Literally zero. Literally.
They're going to watch this.
They're going to think, hmm, that's a good idea.
And then they're going to continue watching.
Yeah. Take their time.
And then they'll forget.
They'll remember again in like two weeks.
Be like, oh, oh yeah, I was right about to do that.
Just... Literally slay people.
But we did need them to bring the tea and the food.
So... Because this is very, very nice.
And I don't know how to make one of these.
Have you ever had a scone? No.
This is English. Have you ever had a scone?
No, you're a piece of shit. Are they hard or soft?
How come you've never had a scone?
It's kind of like a biscuit. Like Grandma's biscuits.
They're sweet. Here.
This is a scone. I've made you a scone.
Is this the way?
This is the scone way.
This is how to be English. This is how to be English.
This is what English people do.
They can't see my face, but English people have it right.
Sounds good. Now, Bones and tea.
So you ungrateful colonials tipped our tea in the ocean and started dressing like crap.
Yeah, I don't know why we did that, to be honest.
To be fair, why do we do that to the tea?
Tea is really good. We should have just kept wearing nice clothes and doing English things.
Instead, you decided to wage war on us and never bet baseball.
Traitors. I'm English now.
What was it called?
No, I mean the people who decided to stay with England.
A loyalist? I'm a loyalist.
Although you are half-friend, so you're a mortal enemy for life.
Fuck. I tricked you.
Morning. So the emergency meeting's on?
Oh yeah, emergency meeting. Guys, it's 4am.
What's that? 4am Aikido in the Rolls.
It's actually 4am Stately Home Aikido.
In a Rolls Royce.
In a Rolls Royce. 4am Stately Home Rolls Royce Aikido.
You ever seen that before, Luke? I have not.
I don't think anyone's seen that before.
Well, that's why we're here. I don't think it's ever been filmed and live.
First time in history.
Okay, some dickhead in Luton on a roundabout.
I'm not sure how you do that crash.
By being drunk or high?
Would it be a straight on? Yeah, straight on.
You don't see the roundabout. Let me try my night vision so we can analyze his crash.
Okay, night vision. My Rolls Royce night vision.
Nice. Why is that guy yellow?
In the night vision. Guys, we may have just discovered vampires.
Probably high. Oh no, they're definitely fucked.
They're definitely high. No, that's a vampire.
He's yellow on the night vision camera.
He's a different... Literally look at his car.
In the bush. On the night vision.
There! See, he's yellow!
He's fucking yellow! I'm telling you, something special about that one.
How the fuck did they do that?
I don't know. Let's try to ask him. Ask him.
We don't have to ask him. Yeah, we do.
We're from the...
Oh, that's how. So we're going to France.
Your dream. My home country.
dream mask or no mask mask mask mask mask mask mask mask fucking losers French are fucking losers.
If you're watching this and you're French, you're a fucking loser.
Losers. All of them.
Yeah, Luke. Luke.
No, I'm just doing that. France is gay.
They're fucking losers, man.
Le Covid deforme.
Fuck off. Fuck off.
Why don't they just let us in?
Shmovid? Dude, what?
They don't know anything about Shmovid, do they?
I don't know anything about Shmovid. Look at my Shmovid form.
Dude. I'm this guy.
I'm 54. I've worked hard my entire life.
I can afford a Ford fucking whatever it is.
And I have a bike.
I put my bike on my car and I, two or three times a year, I go to...
Can you stop coughing COVID all over me?
I'm trying to take confidential.
I take my bike to France and I ride around on my bike.
Three or four times a year.
And if you sit and talk to me, I tell you, oh, Expedition Princess, yeah, went for a nice ride.
Yeah, you take the bike on the tunnel, you put it on the car.
You're the least interesting.
What a fucking loser.
People's lives are shit.
No millions, no buying supercars at random, no being a kickboxing world champion, nothing.
Just working your entire life to buy a Ford, whatever.
I literally don't know what car that is.
He even put the GB sticker on his car.
Because the French are like, we must know you are from England.
The number plate's yellow, bro.
There's no other country in the world with that.
You know we're from England. The wheel's on the other side.
You know we're from England. You just want us to have the sticker.
We don't have the sticker, they fine us 40 euro.
Instead of being a man and telling them to fuck themselves, give me the fine.
He puts the sticker. There's no sticker on my rolls.
Look at this dork.
Now do the guy in front.
Oh, a Mr. fucking camper van.
Jerking off. Can't afford to stay in hotels.
Fucking satellite hookup to Pornhub.
And what about this guy letting him on the fucking train?
Alright, mate. Yeah, I'm in charge of this train.
Yeah. Put the car on the train.
Alright, next. Yeah. Hello, mate.
Yeah. You're going on the train, yeah?
Yeah, yeah. Just go on the train.
Yeah, thanks. Alright, next.
Yeah. Yeah. What's that?
Everyone's life is shit!
50 years later, he dies.
50 years later, he can afford a fucking car with his bike on it and goes for a little ride.
He might get discounts on the train.
Train discounts. We pay full price.
I can discount this fucking Pornhub subscription.
Pornhub, yeah? Yeah.
Thought so.
Told ya.
Confirmed.
Case closed.
This is very nice.
Both of you keep coughing.
I'm not in a car with two.
You both have COVID. It's the COVID car.
Smovid, get over there.
You got COVID on the trip.
Who's the one who preaches not being afraid of COVID all day on a swirl?
I'm literally not afraid of it, but literally this is the COVID car.
There's a new variant in this car.
Yeah, there is. You know, I've been holding it back for super long.
Is this the Rolls Royce variant of COVID? Yeah.
Rolls variant. No one's ready for the fucking Rolls variant.
Literally no one. They're really not.
Kills poor people. So you're fine.
Makes the rich stronger. Makes the rich stronger.
It's the Czech Republic nice. It's actually super nice.
Maybe we should move here. Become the king.
Become the king of Czech Republic.
Ah, I know what we do. Rolls variant.
Spread it all around. Kill all the people.
All easy takeover. Boom, done.
All right, I'll open the window.
All right, see you losers.
They're riding bikes, they're definitely.
So it's been unleashed on the world.
Unleashed! Tristan, you've literally not stopped boozing.
I went to my room, so I couldn't record it for all day confidential, but Tristan went out after a 17-hour drive.