| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Warm While It's Cold Outside
00:02:25
|
|
| It's the murderous meeting hall. | |
| more. | |
| An emergency meeting in a long time. | |
| Control and retain! | |
| Control and retain! | |
| They call for a check round. | |
| Control and retain! | |
| Our life is good. | |
| It is good. Why? | |
| Right now, we are in a jacuzzi. | |
| Warm, while it's cold outside. | |
| And just look, the snow looks nice in a giant mansion. | |
| Our life is good. | |
| It is actually good. Why do we always talk about killing ourselves? | |
| I don't know. Maybe we need more time in the jacuzzi and more snow. | |
| Alright guys, we got whiskey. | |
| I'm depressed. Nah, we could just kill ourselves. | |
| Luke says life's good and he wants to drink loads of whiskey. | |
| Yeah. I never said that. | |
| Luke said, I want to drink as much whiskey as I can. | |
| I was wrong. Life's not good. | |
| He did say that. I was wrong. | |
| I was wrong. Take off and enjoy. | |
| I was wrong. It was good. | |
| It was. How long inside of the pool do you think it would take for me to die? | |
| 15 minutes. You think only 15? | |
| It is kind of frozen over. | |
| It's cold for you. It is cold for you. | |
| I can do, like, put an actual frozen on the top ice, though. | |
| I don't know. 15 minutes. | |
| It depends. It becomes like you get used to it, doesn't it? | |
| There's literally ice on the pool. | |
| I know. The pool's literally frozen over like an ice lake. | |
| I know. And Tristan keeps saying, a vulnerable snowman something. | |
| The snowman? Who are you? | |
| Well, booze keeps you warm. | |
| Booze doesn't keep you warm. | |
| It does. That's not real. | |
| I've had a lot of booze, haven't I? You can't drink loads of booze and jump in frozen pools. | |
| That's not safe. What's wrong with it? | |
| Don't get in there. | |
| Why? It's minus five outside. | |
| I know. You can see it. | |
| You can see the shark. | |
|
Imagine This Man
00:05:20
|
|
| And my dick is going to look so small on camera. | |
| Do ice pool Aikido. | |
| It's bigger than this, I swear. | |
| Ice kolakido. Never been done before. | |
| It's usually very big. It's never been done before. | |
| I promise. Invented. | |
| Just a bit of an ice cold after this. | |
| I've had quite a few messages today from people who are depressed. | |
| So I decided to make them feel better by highlighting my fantastic life in my mansion with my million dollars worth of cars, smoking my cojito and the capris. | |
| So let me make something clear to you. | |
| I don't believe in depression. | |
| Don't message me about depression because I don't believe in it. | |
| If you're asleep in your bed in the middle of the night and you hear a noise and you believe in ghosts, now you're afraid. | |
| But if you don't believe in ghosts, ah, it's the wind and you go back to sleep. | |
| You give the ghosts power by believing in them. | |
| Your house is only haunted if you believe in ghosts. | |
| Belief is a powerful thing. | |
| If I were to stand in front of you, and I were to tell you that I could punch you as hard as I can in your sternum, and I could fracture it and send a splinter into your heart, would you allow me to try? | |
| You wouldn't because you know I believe I can. | |
| I believe I can hurt any man on the planet. | |
| And that's why people are afraid of me. | |
| And you believe depression is a crippling disease. | |
| And that's why you're afraid of it. | |
| I don't believe in depression. | |
| I cannot be depressed. | |
| That's why everything you're messaging me is bullshit. | |
| Imagine a man who owns a casino. | |
| So obviously you're going to be a bit intimidated by the man who owns a casino. | |
| What kind of friends does he have to own a casino? | |
| Now imagine a man who owns 15 casinos. | |
| And imagine said man was a retired four-time kickboxing world champion. | |
| Good shot there from Tate! | |
| I told you this kid is dangerous! | |
| He bought in the ring last month after smoking cigars kicked the fuck out of someone's fun. | |
| Imagine said man had 10 million dollars worth of cars, 16 supercars. | |
| Imagine this man living in Romania. | |
| A mafia-infested country, he just rolls up, he's respected by everyone, he goes where he wants, does what he wants, fuck what he wants, no one fucking talks to him. | |
| No one touches him. | |
| Big G. Imagine this man is gonna teach you how the world works. | |
| Are you ignorant enough to sit there and think that this individual Doesn't know something about life that you don't know? | |
| Imagine this man was a certified pimp. | |
| Had over 75 women make him 10 million dollars online. | |
| Imagine you knew a man with beautiful women in the webcam game. | |
| Bitcoins on the blockchain. | |
| And imagine this man said, look, I know something about the world you don't know. | |
| Are you stupid enough to not listen to said individual? | |
| If when I was broke, I met a casino-owning, pimp, world champion kickboxer who's affiliated up to the highest possible levels. | |
| I'm talking about 10 passports. | |
| Political friends. | |
| Political. Fuck the mafia shit. | |
| Because the real mafia are the politics anyway. | |
| And he said, I'm gonna teach you about life. | |
| I'm gonna allow you to join my network. | |
| I'm gonna give you the blueprint to absolute freedom. | |
| You know what I would do? I'd fucking listen. | |
| If Mike Tyson tries to teach you how to throw a punch, you pay attention. | |
| Do not DM me any more stupid fucking questions. | |
| If you're serious about your life and you're serious about learning from me, you just DM me, I want to learn. | |
| That's it. Are you made of booze? | |
| Everything is water, including water. | |
| I think he is made of boobs. | |
| Nice Puaikido. | |
| That must be horrible. | |
| How cold? From a scale of 1 to 10? | |
| Tristan, what the fuck is this? | |
| What the fuck is this? | |
| This is bullshit, Tristan. | |
| Why did we put this? What is this for? | |
|
Emergency Meeting Alarm
00:04:29
|
|
| I think I know of it. It's an emergency meeting alarm. | |
| An emergency meeting alarm. | |
| I had it installed. Why? | |
| So when we meet emergency meetings, there's an alarm throughout the whole house. | |
| No more sleeping. No more always in bed. | |
| No. The alarm goes off. | |
| And you have to attend the emergency meeting. | |
| All times. Day or night. | |
| Personally, I like it. | |
| I think it's a great emergency. No, it's loud and annoying. | |
| It's an emergency. It is an emergency. | |
| What's the emergency? How is it an emergency if you're just having a nice massage? | |
| Listen. I'm having a massage and a smoke. | |
| How's that emergency? That's an emergency. | |
| We are running low on cigarillos. | |
| We're running low on cigars. | |
| We need to go to the cigar store. | |
| I've also decided to cover my Hublot in diamonds. | |
| That was an emergency. See? | |
| Okay. So, we've got things to discuss. | |
| It's a real-life emergency. Real-life emergency. | |
| The fastest car in the world, the Bugatti Chiron, is on the way, but then the fastest car ever from a quarter mile, the 765LT, is on the way, and my Hublots get covered in diamonds, and I'm having a massage, and I'm smoking my premium Cuban tobacco inside of my cigar lounge in my house. | |
| It's an emergency. | |
| And crypto keeps going up, and no matter how much money I spend, I keep getting richer. | |
| I looked at the price of covering my watch in diamonds, and I was like... | |
| That was my actual reply. | |
| I was in the jeweler saying, I would like to completely cover my Hublot, my extremely extensive watch in diamonds. | |
| And they were like, and they went away and they came back and they kind of showed me the price. | |
| And I was like, that was my exact one. | |
| I was like, you can do it. | |
| Take them off and do it again. | |
| I'll pay double. What the fuck is it? | |
| Tristan, money's no longer real. | |
| Numbers no longer make, numbers don't mean anything. | |
| 1,000, 10,000, 50,000. | |
| Nothing matters anymore. | |
| The numbers don't matter, do they? We're trillionaires! | |
| We are trillionaires. | |
| Robe trillionaires. Official of the world's first trillionaires. | |
| That's what we are trillionaires. We're trillionaires. | |
| Robe trillionaires. That's a real thing. | |
| Robe trillionaires. I need my robe. | |
| When I get my robe, then it's official. | |
| Road trillionaires. So we're trillionaires. | |
| It's real. Money isn't real anymore. | |
| I'm covering my watch in diamonds. | |
| It's an emergency. We now have an emergency meeting alarm. | |
| I've also decided I want to change the entire house and make it look more like a gothic castle. | |
| Wait, what? I'm down. | |
| Gothic castle? I said that. | |
| We need to do that. That needs to happen. | |
| Yeah. I've also decided we should go to Las Vegas. | |
| Alright, let's go. This all happened just now. | |
| So we have an emergency meeting button and a bunch of things have all changed. | |
| Yeah, there were emergencies. Wanting to go to Las Vegas to gamble. | |
| That's an emergency if you're gambling. Las Vegas, I'm taking $200,000. | |
| I'm gonna become richer than ever. | |
| A double trillionaire. | |
| Nice. So where am I navigating to? | |
| Where am I going? Well, I decided to make our house look more like a castle. | |
| Okay. And I got the quote for it, which was ridiculous. | |
| Okay. I'm still gonna do it. | |
| But then I thought, if I have this kind of money, why don't I just buy a castle? | |
| So I found a house that's kind of castle-y. | |
| I don't want to buy a house. A castle-y house? | |
| Yeah, I don't want to buy a house. In Bucharest? | |
| Tristan, you don't understand. | |
| What don't I understand? I'm rich-rich. | |
| I buy houses at a whim. | |
| I know we're rich. No, no. | |
| You don't know. I'm about to teach you. | |
| Bro, I saw the Bears dance. | |
| I'm convinced. Yep. | |
| You didn't see the Bears dance? The Bears danced. | |
| So we're going to go buy a house. | |
| Maybe. I don't know. We're going to look at it. | |
| Maybe it's worth three million or whatever. | |
| One million, three million, two million, one million. | |
| What's three million to a motherfucker like me? | |
| Yeah, one trash coin. | |
| Quite a bit. Fiat. Fiat's not even real money. | |
| Yeah. They don't even want Bitcoin. They only print it. | |
| Like a good percentage of your money. | |
| Well, like what? Well, like 1%. | |
| I'm a trillionaire. | |
| I am. | |
| He is a rogue trillionaire. You might not notice because he doesn't have the robe on right now. | |
| But I'm still a rogue trillionaire. He's still a rogue trillionaire. | |
| Just seems to have forgotten This is actually a castle No, this is a very nice house. Castle House. | |
| If you put the Bugatti Shiro on here, you've got the ultimate house. | |
| Do you know what this is? I do. | |
| I thought something I've been developing. It's Castle House Aikido. | |