| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Keep It Simple
00:07:41
|
|
| So if you spend enough time here, I think we can completely improve this place. | |
| Wait a minute! | |
| Wait a minute! | |
| Good showman retain! | |
| Good showman retain! | |
| Take cover! Take cover! | |
| Take cover! Take cover! | |
| This is not what we're never coming back. | |
| So this is us when the business is over. | |
| Correct. It's very rare to still see people... | |
| So there's a pig's hoop for the palinka. | |
| Now here in Romania, in my country, the first shot we do when we're killing a pig is always out of the hook. | |
| And drink How was it? | |
| Is this our new It's our emergency meeting for today. | |
| Got the clinker, don't worry. | |
| Soldier Ferrari. So now I'm at one horsepower. | |
| I miss our old spot. | |
| It was warm. Oh, we had a bar. | |
| And you guys only allowed me to have one glove on. | |
| I had to inverse it so I could use my right hand. | |
| Tristan has the good glove. | |
| Yeah, sir. One glove. | |
| Are you going to even explain to take off a natural why you're only allowed to wear one glove? | |
| No, you're only allowed to wear one. | |
| That's it. I'm not explaining myself. | |
| Just the one. It is true. Just the one. They probably heard that before. | |
| I got the booze. The air with booze. | |
| It's never just the one. | |
| It is just the one. It never is. | |
| It might be. Sometimes it is, but other times it's not. | |
| It's just the one with the things that you want two of, like gloves. | |
| And it's always multiple with the things you want just the one of, like... | |
| Like boobs. Nice. | |
| Luke, listen. So what's the emergency? | |
| You are in a time-space-hyperloop paradox. | |
| I've escaped the first one. | |
| No, you didn't. I did. | |
| No, you're about to wake up in the chair in about an hour. | |
| Oh, fuck. Unless you finish a significant amount of booze. | |
| So this is the way out. | |
| It's the only way out. It's the only way out. | |
| It's an escape. Look at Vlad. | |
| There's space here. Surpresa? | |
| Surpresa. What's your name? | |
| Keep tea. Keep tea. | |
| Keep tea. Keep tea. | |
| Keep tea. | |
| Of course, man. These are not too cupped, so I'm not going to fill them all over. | |
| No, no, that's fine, that's fine. So Tristan is becoming a village, man. | |
| Yeah. I'll make sure our driver's nice and drunk. | |
| Safe. Nice. For people at home who do not know, this is pure gasoline. | |
| Imagine going to your car. | |
| Instead of putting gasoline in the pump, you put it in a nice cup. | |
| and then you've taken a second to sit with it. | |
| All right. | |
| I'll just shake it again. | |
| Beautiful. | |
| This is good. Yeah, please. | |
| Natural sparkling water. | |
| Natural sparkling water. So, it's not a big famose. | |
| I thought they put air in all of it. | |
| That's because you're American. I didn't know this existed as a thing. | |
| You didn't know the mineral water is natural and sparkling? | |
| No. I didn't know that either. | |
| Why would it be? I didn't know that. | |
| I've done that for like 12 years. | |
| But why? Because Blase tried to tell me that you could sell it in England. | |
| Explain me some science. | |
| Tristan, I need some science. Because there's carbon dioxide in it. | |
| Why? Because there is. | |
| Why is there zinc in it? Why is there magnesium in it? | |
| Because it's around metals. You can stop by the side of the road and get natural sparkling water from the square. | |
| Yeah, if you have a horse camera. | |
| I don't think a Rambo would go up here. | |
| It wouldn't. But also, ATVs would. | |
| Would if I drove. It's true. | |
| It probably would if Andrew drove. | |
| That's just not fair. It's all sick. | |
| Andrew, where are we? Why are we here? | |
| We're stuck in a time warp. | |
| Is booze the only way out? | |
| I'm not sure what the way out is. | |
| For 3,000 years we've lived the same day on repeat. | |
| I don't even wake up and do the exact same thing. | |
| I've been trying the booze. | |
| Has it worked? Hasn't worked yet. | |
| We're stuck in a time warp. Maybe anymore. | |
| I don't know. There are worse places to be time warp in though. | |
| There are. That would be ass. | |
| Super ass. What gasses is it? | |
| Do we have lighter? Yeah, but the gasses, it's really good. | |
| What gases is it? | |
| So someone saw this bubbling and has built a little house on top of me. | |
| So there's mainly sulfur as you can sense now. | |
| Yeah, yeah. There's a couple other minerals in it. | |
| This is weird. | |
| I just want to... | |
| I don't want to... | |
| I don't want to stay in the light. | |
| So you feel it's a little bit warmer. | |
| It's gas from the earth, so it's warmer. | |
| It's carbon dioxide, sulfur, a couple other minerals that once you inhale them, they're good for your body. | |
| You can't get dizzy if you're too low to it. | |
| And the feeling is, they say if you spend enough time here, a tingling feeling through the testimony. | |
| Wait a minute! Wait a minute! | |
| First of all, you're not going to speed past that like you didn't just say what you just said. | |
| If you spend enough time here, a tingling feeling through the testimony. | |
| If you want, you can stay as long as you want until you get that feeling. | |
| There's other ways to achieve that. | |
| Many ways. Yep, there it goes. | |
| No, I'm telling you, I put my face low. | |
| Put your face low. See? | |
|
French Fries Done Better
00:02:27
|
|
| It hits hard. It hits hard. | |
| It hits hard, bro. It hits very hard. | |
| I'm telling you, I didn't just filming, just thinking, oh, you made it. | |
| No, it hits hard like crack. | |
| I told you. It hits super hard at that level. | |
| You can scoop it up. Carbon dioxide. | |
| Yes, you can! Yes, you can! | |
| That was actually me. | |
| Sorry. Ah! | |
| It hits my eyes! | |
| That's some poison! | |
| This is where I eat Cheetos! | |
| This is where you eat- This is where I eat Cheetos useful! | |
| This is where I eat Cheetos useful! | |
| Okay, now we lock you guys out. | |
| This is where I eat it! | |
| Hey, you survived. Where are we? | |
| Nothing makes sense. | |
| Come. | |
| That's it. No more. | |
| Seamless. | |
| Soldier, these are better french fries. | |
| Oh, you knew about them. | |
| I knew about them. | |
| They're french fries a little better. | |
| Yeah, big pleasure. Everyone, you should have this. | |
| You, you're in America. | |
| You've never had this before, I guarantee you. | |
| This is French fries, done better. | |
| This can't be, this can't be that big. | |
| Epic. | |
| This. It's too good. | |
| He didn't. He didn't at all. | |
| But shit. Yeah, I'd kill him too. | |
| Stabby stab. Some dude, I don't know, some heavy guy. | |
| Their opponent pulled out and they want me to go fight. | |
| So, I'm going to fight tomorrow. | |