| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Emergency Meeting About Work
00:05:47
|
|
| Good shot there from Tate! | |
| A lot of people say girls love money and that's not entirely true. | |
| But I'm not a girl. | |
| I'm a girl. | |
| How many of you have seen the movie? | |
| you It's an emergency. It's not an emergency. | |
| It's an emergency meeting. | |
| We're having an emergency meeting about work. | |
| The business is on work. | |
| I have a deep spot. It's probably a celebration. | |
| This doesn't make sense. | |
| Wasn't it? Why are we sparkling sparklers? | |
| That one's already out for me. | |
| No one cares what you think, Luke. | |
| Give me champagne glass. I'm not thinking I ain't fancy. | |
| Does this look like champagne? | |
| Do I look fancy? Drinking beer out of champagne glass. | |
| Sparklers for no reason. | |
| The business is over. And we're in lockdown. | |
| I was burning the chess pieces earlier. | |
| Burn the chess pieces. It's fun. | |
| Pretend you're shooting cannon at them. | |
| See? It's very intense. | |
| That's how you win chess. That's how you win. | |
| You couldn't beat me. The greatest Grandmaster could beat me by sparkled his arms. | |
| He might. | |
| He might. Would you like a beer? | |
| Would you like a champagne? No, thank you. | |
| Would you like a champagne again? | |
| Champagne again? Yeah, champagne again. | |
| It's a new drink. It's when you try and look sexy and fancy, but really you're a scumbag who drinks cans of beer. | |
| So, how is this in a meeting? | |
| It's an emergency meeting to discuss the problems that we face in our lives. | |
| Problem number one. We need to find Luke. | |
| We need to send Luke back to America. | |
| Problem number one is we need to get rid of Luke. | |
| Alright. Urgently. | |
| Tired of him. Problem number two? | |
| Get rid of Rory. Shit. | |
| Then problem number three, you get rid of me and I'll get rid of you. | |
| Who's problem number three? There's no one left. | |
| Yeah. We'll get rid of each other. | |
| Business can finally function without us slowing it down. | |
| How stupid of me to use the drink and smoke cigars. | |
| Yeah, I mean, cutting directors a wreath. | |
| Doesn't make any sense. | |
| Thanks. | |
| Champagne again? No. | |
| Alright, well I've got to get back to work. | |
| Would you like some legit champagne? You're not allowed to. | |
| Are we done with the emergency meeting? | |
| No, this is work now. This is your job. | |
| Would you like a Cuban cigar? | |
| I will actually have a Cuban cigar. | |
| Only if you drink some champagne again. | |
| Terms and conditions, my friend. | |
| Champagne again. It doesn't even look good. | |
| It actually tastes like... | |
| weird. It tastes like cold beer in a glass. | |
| Crazy, innit? It's an elaborate drink. | |
| If you want to fight, you can't. | |
| Put the gloves on right now, I will fight. | |
| Do you want to, yes or no? | |
| I do not want to. Why? | |
| Because you're good. | |
| I'm very good. I'm trying to put this glove on. | |
| Because the tire burn. | |
| Sent flaming rubber everywhere. | |
| Okay. Landed on my hands. | |
| And you can see when I try to remove the burning rubber, I lose the skin on my hands. | |
| It may fight more painful than it needs to be. | |
| It's been fucking I Put you on it put my gloves on I Don't know Mess around with her advice I Go | |
| I | |
| Thirty seconds We interrupt this program for a special news bulletin Oh Oh Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. | |
| You know what? Everyone's going to ask us. | |
| I'm going to say it now in advance. | |
| You know what messages I'm getting? Everyone's messaging me already saying, how are you guys so rich? | |
|
How We Make Money Online
00:07:29
|
|
| How do you travel the world? | |
| How do you have such a fucking amazing life? | |
| How are your arms so big and chiseled? | |
| And the answer is the same. | |
| We make a lot of money. We make it online. | |
| I'll teach you how. I'll teach you how. | |
| I'll put a link in the description. | |
| Stop fucking asking me that question. | |
| Stop inboxing me. How do you make money? | |
| It's in the description. That's how we make money. | |
| We can go to the A. | |
| We don't. | |
| Look, A. Atlanta. | |
| The A. We'll talk about how much fun it is. | |
| Luke keeps talking about Atlanta and how much he wants to go. | |
| I'm not going to Atlanta. | |
| If you were really in Atlanta, what fun things could you do? | |
| You can't drive supercars the way we drive them because you get arrested in a jail. | |
| You can't go to the club because you're shot by Dwayne. | |
| Yep. You can't. | |
| All the girls are ugly with that. | |
| It's true. You can't even show off too much when you're in a mobile world. | |
| So what would you do if you were in Atlanta? | |
| No, I don't want to go. | |
| You guys bring it up and tell me I bring it up. | |
| You can't wait to go to Atlanta. | |
| Why? I don't want... | |
| No. I 0% want to go to Atlanta. | |
| Don't ask me to go. It's getting annoying. | |
| I've never asked ever. | |
| Where does Ryan Stoke Helbing come from? | |
| you Rise of the Cowboys is one of my favorite songs. | |
| My granddad used to sing it. | |
| Your granddaddy? Yeah. | |
| The drunken wife abuser. | |
| He used to sing Rhinestone Cowboy. | |
| He used to go in the pub, spend all the money, and walk home singing this, and neighbors used to tell him to shut up. | |
| I do get that. I do get that. | |
| Didn't know him very well, but... | |
| Can you just imagine being drunk in this song making you really happy walking home from the pub? | |
| Only... Like a Rhinestone Cowboy There's no way he knows what he's doing. | |
| Luke has no idea. | |
| He's a loser. | |
| Luke hasn't got a clue. | |
| Luke, I stacked them up so high they crashed down on me. | |
| It's not even tall. | |
| Close the door! | |
| Close the door! | |
| Fuck you. You're a loser. | |
| I'll get you. So listen. | |
| He might know what I'm doing by now. | |
| Now he's fully aware of the game. | |
| The crash broke him up. | |
| Well, fuck him. | |
| So you know what's happening. | |
| No, you don't. | |
| You do not know the full extent of your demise, you fucking... | |
| loser. | |
| You... Are done for. | |
| In the words of Ned Slanders, you're done diddly young for. | |
| I will defeat you by the power of repeating the same mistake. | |
| You can fuck off. | |
| I'll beat you forever. | |
| I am the king. | |
| Give me more beers. | |
| Give me more beers. Here we go. | |
| Nice, cold, Heineken. | |
| Closing up your door. | |
| Your tomb. | |
| Sealing you in like an Egyptian pharaoh. | |
| But a pharaoh without the cash. | |
| Pharaohs had money. | |
| If you sealed me in my tomb, I'd have my money. | |
| My bitcoin, my dollars, my euros. | |
| I'd have cash. Who are you? | |
| You're a fucking... | |
| Egyptian dork. | |
| Get this. | |
| Egyptian loser. | |
| You're the Egyptian guy who sold goats to the man who fucked them for money. | |
| You're a dork. Is this going to... | |
| Sorry. | |
| Is this going to impede his movements tomorrow morning? | |
| He can't move. He opens the door, it falls in on him. | |
| You win. Are these two heinekens gonna impede our movement? | |
| Absolutely. Absolutely. | |
| There's nothing left. Look. Everything's done. | |
| So... That sure can. | |
| Can we drink a nice cold beer between us friends? | |
| We can. So Luke! | |
| Emergency meeting! | |
| Emergency meeting in the war room. | |
| Let's go! A setup! | |
| It's an emergency meeting in the war room. | |
| Who do you think I am? Emergency meeting. | |
| Let's go! Emergency meeting, Luke! | |
| Let's go! You know that every time anyone says emergency meeting, we have to be in the war room. | |
| Let's go. | |
| Luke! | |
| You're on your way. | |
| Cool. | |
| Keep filming. Why? | |
| There's still beer! | |
| There's a beer all over the ground! | |
| Ah, emergency meeting! | |
| Why is he listening? | |
| I think it's okay to steal people's identity, you cunt. | |
| Who am I, Andrew? Who am I? | |
| But doesn't it make you nervous? | |
| I think it's okay to steal people's identity, you cunt. | |
| Who am I, Andrew Hook? | |
| Who am I? Is that a black eye? | |
| Yeah, because I can't block punches. | |