I'm getting older now, so I do get hangovers and shit.
I'm thinking, what the fuck am I drinking for?
It's stupid.
But you just end up drinking, don't you?
My brother has a saying.
He goes, we'll drink some G&Ts and bang some threes.
Sometimes they're fours, but whatever.
But you always end up drinking alcohol.
And you meet people who don't drink.
When you drink often enough, you meet people who don't drink.
And I have nothing against people who don't drink.
If you had like a drinking problem in the past or you don't want a fun life, then fair enough, don't drink.
But if you're going to not drink and pretend to me your life is as fun as when you did drink, then you're dishonest.
You can say, my life is less fun, but I still don't drink alcohol.
That's fine.
I accept that.
But to sit there and say, oh, I don't need to drink.
I have fun without drinking.
Then you're a fucking liar.
Every time I meet one of these people who has fun without drinking, I think, fucking hell, I need to hang around with this person.
This person has fun without drinking.
They're permanently drunk.
They're like, they must be hyper in their minds.
They must be supercharged and they're permanently ready to do some fucking crazy adventure and wake up the next day in another country with no clothes on.
This person must be amazing.
But instead of being amazing, they're actually the complete opposite and they're just boring fucks who don't know what fun is.
Of course you have fun without drinking if your idea of fun is shit.
You have a shit life and you don't know what fun is.
Every single time I've had fun while drinking, the kind of shit that went down is not the kind of shit I can put on YouTube.
You guys who follow me on Twitter before they banned me again will remember my little rant of what happened in London when I ended up with crackheads and cocaine and girls fighting and that drug dealer hitting the guy with a stick.
That was because I was drunk out of my fucking mind.
I got drunk and I started hanging around these random people and shit went crazy.
That doesn't happen when you're sober.
It simply doesn't happen.
Every single cool story I'm told begins with, I was drunk.
I was high as fuck at the strip club.
And then.
It doesn't start with, oh, I was enjoying my vegan smoothie, and then.
Your life is just mundane, and you do mundane things, and you have no spontaneity, and nothing bad happens.
You just have a normal, mundane, boring life.
And because you still go to the club, along with the drunk people, you pretend you can have fun without drinking.
You don't know what fun is.
I know what fun is.
Let me tell you something.
It requires booze.
I did, if you're watching this and you don't understand about what happened with the London rant, I did a little video summing it up before I got banned from Twitter.
I tried to put it on YouTube and they removed it because it's not safe for YouTube because of the huge levels of cocaine.
I don't do cocaine, but this dude I was with, he did fucking cocaine.
So it's on the website, so check out tehshinkai.net.
It'll be on there somewhere and you'll see my London adventure, my vodka-fueled London adventure video.
And you can see what real fun is.
And I challenge anyone who doesn't drink, who has fun, to come along with some kind of story like that.
Take shinkai.net.
The products on there, every single one of them is absolutely top quality.
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My fitness program, I don't go to the gym.
I stay in perfect condition with 30 minutes of exercise a day from home.
The fitness program allows you to stay in shape, without messing around, without driving to the gym, in the comfort of your own home for 30 minutes a day.
The chess program, you need to understand why chess must be mastered.
And if you don't understand, watch the chess video.
As for the t-shirts, mugs, everything else, there's nothing better than walking around with a Tate t-shirt on and one knows you're not a bitch.