Theo talks about his mom coming to visit him, delivers some motivation to a caller who just got a girl's number for the first time, and much more. Plus, Theo surprises two single mom's with an early Mother's Day present.
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You know, this doesn't have to be perfect, you know?
That's what I'm thinking about right now.
This doesn't have to be perfect.
And isn't that a nice thing to say?
This doesn't have to be perfect.
I got to remember that.
What it is, what it ain't, does the baby need a spank?
That used to be a little limerick.
And a limerick is basically a little Irish poem or something, a little Irish.
It's basically the Irish.
You can't really, a lot of time you can't even understand them.
So people were so happy when they finally heard something out of the Irish that they could understood, they gave it a dang name, Limerick.
And anyway, that's old Irish limerick.
What it is, what it ain't.
Does the baby need a spank?
Have me a couple of Advil right now.
Ah, with that liquid death.
I don't know if you've ever had Advil or not, but I haven't.
You know, I Advil to everything I do, man.
Hell, I wish I made a damn suppository.
You know, when I was young, there was a thing called Vajippin.
And I hate to get crude and be a naughty boy out here early, but when I was young, they had a thing called Vajippin.
And that was traveling through the South right around the time that, you know, what was it called?
Jink'em.
And Jinkum was an old deal where they would put, you know, man, this is, sorry, it's a little profane, but they put animal fessies and stuff like that, booty, you know, animal, you know, booty work into a jug and they would let it roast in the sun and they would put a balloon on the top of the bottle.
And human fessies as well in urine.
Or urine, they call it.
Up in Michigan, up in the UP.
But they would put that in a jug, like a two-liter bottle.
Get you a 7-up D or a Diet Dr. Pepper Big Daddy.
You know, one of them two liters.
And you put a balloon on top and they would let the waste in there fester.
And the gas from it, put it in the yard, somebody's yard.
Could be your yard.
It was embarrassing to put it in your yard.
So people put it in somebody's yard.
You know, maybe an old person who's not going to see it.
A lot of time you do that kind of shit.
You know, if you got something messed up, you put it in the old person's yard for a little while.
Let people think they're doing it.
You know, or something.
And the sun would hit it.
It would fill the balloon with gas.
And that gas was made out of fester and urine and fesses.
And then you would take that gas, you know, and you would huff it.
And people would hit that jinkum, it was called.
What was it nicknamed?
Let me see.
for Jinkum.
Let me see right here.
Jinkum.
Okay, Jinkum, a highly hallucinogenic drug which results from huffing the fumes.
Woo-hoo!
They get naughty out here on the inner webs, baby.
A highly hallucinogenic, that means top of the line.
We're talking big daddy.
We're talking really, if you, this is like damn setting your dick on a frog's back, you know, for an hour kind of thing.
Highly hallucinogenic drug, which results from huffing the fumes of your own fermented feckle matter.
Users claim.
Users claim.
It gives an incredible rush.
That's what they call it right there.
Jinkum right there.
And here's an alternate title.
Getting a bottle and taping a balloon to the top and letting your piece and turd ferment.
Man, we getting naughty out here.
Then removing the shit.
Man, this stuff here's alternate definition.
Getting a sorry man, getting a bottle and taping a balloon to the top.
Letting your pee, pee pee and turd ferment for a few days.
And I'm sorry, he's getting a little graphic.
For a few days, weeks even.
Then removing the balloon and inhaling that gas, baby, getting that, getting that huff, baby, getting that puff, puff, you know?
And they say it creates an awesome high.
It's an African drug.
In Africa, they could not afford drugs.
It says, so they invented Jankum.
Woo-woo!
And that's that chartonnay, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
You wait a couple of weeks.
Man, you wait a couple of weeks.
That's that Chardonnay, bro.
It's heavy on the shart.
Anyway, what I'm saying is I had some Advil.
And I have them a lot.
And if they made a suppository, I would have one.
You know, I'd put a damn thousand milligrams.
I'd hide it in that back jaw early in the morning, man.
So if anybody's out there doing jankum or doing whatever, man, I hope that you're not riding it too hard today.
A hallucinogenic drug made out of the collected fumes of fermented festivals and urine.
Leave it in the sun for a few days.
That Huff McGruff.
That pooter juice is a nickname.
And another nickname for some reason is Terrence and Philip.
So I don't know what that means.
Maybe that could have been some gay men that was doing being wild outdoors.
So I'm not sure.
Not sure about that.
Not sure what God wants on that.
Welcome to the episode.
Let's get into it.
Come on.
I'm just sitting on your front porch wondering how could I be so far from my home And my mind is somewhere else But when I find it I'll patch up where it's been Now I'm just on the breeze And I feel like these bees I'm much beaten
For me to set that parking brake And let myself unwind Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my stories Shine on me And I will find a song I will sing it
just before you And there you go and that's shined by Bishop Gunn and that's that ordinary connection piece right there for us That's that mild tightrope between souls people have heard it before they hear it again And that is familiarity You know I like I like I like
uh familiarity familiarity It sounds familiarity It sounds like a drug for a baby You know this baby he honestly man we caught him smoking You know we caught him looking at other babies kids.
You know we caught so we had to put him on a couple doses of familiarity and he's hopefully he'll be better.
We don't know you know his brother ended up in jail so who knows but familiarity.
I like familiarity.
I like being in places that make me feel comfortable.
I like you know sometimes I remember when I was young I would get in the Christmas boxes, you know And if somebody got a gift second they got it out I'd be in that bastard Somebody got a little toaster,
you know Somebody got a little toaster I'd be in that bitch You know somebody got a little Capital Gray skull or something set toy box thing I'd be you'd see me in there like a cat And I liked that I just liked being in a tight little closed space kind of I'm that womb hunter,
you know I'm always looking to skirt back I'm always looking for an umbilical cord just hanging anywhere.
I'll climb right back up that back.
I don't care who's running womb, baby.
I don't care how far Zan.
I gotta climb, baby.
Oh, I will swing into that bastard.
I like that attic.
I always like that closed space.
I like that tightness, that little domicile, they call it.
I like being in a little capsule.
Hell, I'll probably enjoy being dead, honestly.
You know, I'll miss you guys, but I will be, I will enjoy it because I want in that coffin, baby, I'm getting that bitch tight.
Sometimes you see people with these big bodies, you know, sometimes you'll see a brother or something be buried with that bit in that big body.
Not me.
I want that coffin.
I want that thing to be damn a foot and a half wide, baby, 18 inches, you know.
I want that thing right at six feet, man.
And honestly, man, they could bend my legs a little, make that bitch at five and a half feet.
I want that tight.
I want that easy.
I want something that could, you know, you could mistake it for a damn bunch of roses on, you know, delivered by somebody, by a company.
Like, damn, is that somebody burying a box of roses?
That's what I want that, because I like the tightness.
I like that close-knit.
I like that.
And I don't wear too big of a shirt.
I don't wear too much of a large shirt either.
You'll see me in, you know, in a semi-large, really, which I wish there was a size that they made.
I like that lean large, you know.
Man, there was something I was going to tell you that I forgot about.
Oh.
So for a while, man, I was doing drugs, and I used to live with this man named Kenny.
And they call him Two Cat Kenny because he had two cats.
And I would do drugs and shit.
And one night he came and knocked on my door.
I was living in his apartment.
He lived there and I moved in.
And so I had my own room and I was excited, man.
I had me a little couch in there.
You know, it was a big room.
It was kind of, I could be in my bed or be in my couch.
Bitch, I'm all over.
You know, I had that kind of atmosphere in there.
And got me a little ice chest in the corner.
I put a couple little beverages in that bastard, you know.
I put me a couple waters, a couple fucking maybe, you know, maybe diet sprites in that bitch, you know, live it up.
I was doing it all.
And anyway, so sometimes one night, Kenny come in my room.
The first time he did it, he came in.
He said, hey, hey, come out here.
And he would get high out there in the living room, I think, or he was on something.
And if you've ever had a roommate that's on something, when they knock on your door, on your room door, you know it's anything could be behind, anything could be going on.
They could need help.
They could be bleeding.
They could be missing.
You know, with some roommates, if they're on some drugs, they'll knock and go missing by the time you get to the damn door.
Like, damn, this is some real, this is some real shit right here.
This person, they really, they just can't even find themselves right now.
So anyway, I came in the door and Kenny been out in the living room.
He stacked a bunch of boxes out there, a big pyramid of boxes.
You know, that Egyptian shape.
And he'd put that thing.
We had a high-ceiling living room.
High-ceiling living room.
And he'd invited this lady over from next door.
This lady Martha was her name.
And she always got stoned.
And she look, I mean, she was, she wasn't shit, honestly.
And I hate to say that.
And I hope she's better now.
But at the time, she was just, she wasn't really shit, man.
You know?
She wasn't.
She just wasn't, man, I just, I shouldn't say that.
She was shit.
She was awesome.
She was awesome, but I didn't see that side of her.
And anyway, so him and Martha's out there huffing, doing something.
I don't know if they're huffing paint, doing keyboard clean or some kind of shit.
But they got the cats on these boxes, on these pyramid of boxes.
And Kenny's like, man, you'll never guess what's in the top, man.
And he had his little cat up there, Buckeye was his name.
You know, because he had a real, he had like kind of gold hair around his ass.
Oh, honestly, butthole, B-hole.
Sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Beehole.
In case any moms are driving their kids to school right now, bada B-hole.
And they call him Buckeye.
And he had no tail on him.
I mean, his tail had been trimmed all the way straight to the spine.
So you saw just, you was getting full hole on that cat.
You know, you was getting ultimate hole.
You know, that's you hole.
Because there's B-hole and there's U-hole, bro.
And that's when you just, God, you just hope for better, you know?
But anyway, so what happened was Buckeye had gotten somehow into the box on the top of the damn thing, bro, top of that pyramid.
And they're out there on that keyboard cleaner, you know, and they've been huffing that and doing a little, you know, doing a little bit of weed or uppers or downers or something, side splitters.
I don't know what they were on, but they were bent out.
And I knew when I opened that door, he's sitting there, Martha's there, and they're just fucking watching that cat up there in that big box in that pyramid, man.
I knew I had to get out of there.
That's what I knew at that time, baby.
Amen.
And I want to let you guys know about the tour, actually.
Pre-sale tickets are available now through Thursday, May 6th at 10 p.m.
Now through then, go to theovon.com slash tour, T-O-U-R, and enter the code weekend.
And that's before they'll be available to everyone else.
They're available to the listeners of this podcast.
And thank you for being a part of my life.
And that's the code.
And some of the cities we're coming to.
St. Louis, Cincinnati.
These are in September.
These dates are a little ways out.
St. Louis, Cincinnati, Charlotte, Carolina, Durham, North Carolina.
Sorry, at the Carolina Theater.
The Tavoli Theater over there in Chattanooga, Tennessee.
And I'll be happy to be over there.
My mother used to live over there with a man.
Knoxville, Tennessee at the Tennessee Theater.
Wilmington, Delaware at the Grand Opera House.
And Wilkes Bar at the FM Kirby Center.
So that'll be the first leg of that tour.
And oh, also Minneapolis, Charleston, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Albany, New York at the Egg, Buffalo, New York, and Columbus, Ohio at the Davidson Theater.
So a lot of great places, man.
I'm excited to do that.
And that tour will figure out the name.
But that'll be coming to you.
And so be ready for it.
What else is happening, man?
What's going on in your lives?
I want to know some of that and we'll figure some of that out.
I'm trying to think of what's going on with me.
Oh, I want to update you on the ketamine therapy.
So if people know or don't know, some of you know I got the ketamine therapy going and I have two more treatments.
And man, you know, and I've been going to my regular meetings and stuff like that, my regular recovery stuff at the same time.
But man, I'd never done anything like this.
So you're in there and they give you an IV and they put the drugs in the thing and you have the therapist there.
And at first you're in the room and then, dude, it got dicey, man.
I mean, I'm talking Las Vegas dicey.
I'm not talking damn Reno.
I'm talking Vegas dicey.
You know, I'm talking fucking out back of the Venetian, a couple brothers gambling.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm saying it got dicey.
I'm talking about the weights that the cook staff out there gambling in the alley.
It's just like, it's almost like somebody takes part of you, your soul, I'll say.
And you Ever been to a dry cleaner's and you go in there and you look and you see they got all the equipment and you're like, oh man, they got a lot of equipment in here.
And they got the thing when they press the button, it kind of like and other people's shirts go by and you're like, damn, that guy's got nice shit, man.
And you sometimes you bet you'll, if it's a smallest town, you'll see somebody something go by and you're like, oh man, I bet that's Miss Irma's, you know?
Oh, that looks like Randall's shit.
You know, it looked like Randall's little boots, you know.
Oh, damn, that's his stuff, too.
He's about to come out the closet.
You know what I'm saying?
You start to get that vibe when things go by.
But it's like somebody took your head, your spirit, and put it onto that and pressed the maximum button they could and let that bitch go.
Like I remember at one point yelling out that I was a cryptocurrency.
So that's how you start to feel, man.
Things get, you go into the matrix.
You go into the, I mean, you're in the, you're on the Mayflower in the Matrix, eating flour, performing tricks.
You're doing, there's a lot, a lot of levels going on, man.
It feels like Elon Musk just climbs straight in the ass and comes out of your brain.
Like, it's a lot of, it's like this part.
And I know this sounds crazy.
It's not like being high on weed.
It's not like being high on cocaine.
It wasn't like the DMT.
It was a little bit like the DMT, but not visual.
It's like this.
I remember at one point, all the furniture in the world moved across the globe into one little half bathroom on the edge of Zaire.
That's what I, I just remember that happened in a matter of a couple seconds.
It's like you're on a, and then at certain moments, it's like you're on a wheelchair, but also you're like on a roller coaster.
You're on a roller coaster, but you're also in a wheelchair at the same time.
Like it's...
I mean, you're...
But some interesting stuff happened.
I got to see myself as a child.
I got to.
I got to...
I got to just kind of...
If that makes any sense.
I felt like it kind of made me realize some things.
I just had to grow up a little.
Shit, you know, I got to at least hit 10 emotionally or 11. So, so anyway, I think it's really interesting, though.
Like, I'm monitoring how I feel if my mood feels better.
I'm hoping to be able to quit antidepressants with the help of a doctor.
And so that's some of the things that I'm hopeful for in it.
But I wanted to update you guys on it.
For me, it's a lot about just feeling okay.
Like, am I okay?
Am I okay?
So that's a kind of a lot of thing that I talk about when I'm in there under the influence.
Because there's some moments where I'm like, is this really helpful or am I just doing drugs in a strip mall somewhere?
You know what I'm saying?
Like, am I just doing drugs by this damn five guys?
You know what I'm saying?
What's really going on here?
And that's the crazy part.
The place I go, you're wall to wall with a damn five guys, dude.
And four of those guys smell like fucking burgers, bro.
I'll tell you that.
I don't know who the fifth dude is, but four of those MFers smell like burgers, bro.
So it's hard because you're getting, you know, they got you on the grill, you know, mentally on the spiritual grill in there.
And at the same time, if you almost put your ear up, I swear to God, I could hear somebody finishing off a double in there.
And God, that really will, that'll make you want to get well right there when there's a burger in the next room.
It's kind of crazy the power of that.
So I want to also, dude, I want to say this.
I'm upstairs.
I want to say this.
I love, dude, that's one thing I wish about my house now.
I have a house.
And it's crazy to say that.
I'm almost getting shamed to say it in a sad way.
I know that's weird to say, but sometimes I feel like I'm embarrassed, I guess.
To like have stuff.
I don't know.
I think I just relate so much with not having anything and with being, I don't know about poor, but with that struggle, with that like chip on my shoulder that it's scary to now be in a place where I feel like, you know, I have a dang living room, you know, where you can live, you know?
Like, if my house burns down, like, they're going to call me.
Like, that's crazy.
Like, I'm used to kind of being in the place where if the place burns down, you call somebody else who's going to be pissed off.
They're going to be pissed unless they burned it, which happened to us once over there off of Lee Road.
Dude, the dude burned the damn place down to get money.
And I mean, let us know by letter, first of all.
Idiot.
And second of all, call us, bro.
If you're going to burn the place down, call us.
Hey, feel that heat?
So don't let us know by damn letter where you can get busted and where we don't even get the letter till after, you know?
So just that kind of shit, Man, but anyway, so I knew what I was talking about.
Yeah, that's it.
Oh, my mom came to visit.
I'll tell you about that in just a second.
I want to let you know first, though, we got to do the ads, and I got to let you know about the podcast and things that are going on.
So, I appreciate your support.
I appreciate your support, man.
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And look, you don't have to have a hole and get you a little half.
Get you a little nibble.
You're on a date that's going okay.
Nibble off a little chunk.
That's how I am.
I save money like that, baby.
And then keep your little Ziploc in the car, you know.
Couple of half, you know, couple of halved out DPs or make it in a dust.
That's what I do too.
Make that, you know, put it in a little, you know, put some water in a spoon.
You know, I'm joking.
That's a joke.
Just so you don't want anybody cooking themselves down.
What else, man?
Let's hear.
We got a call that came in right here.
We got some single moms.
You know, it's Mother's Day week.
I spent some time.
My mother was in town.
And, you know, we had a nice time, man.
We had a nice time.
I'll get to that in just a second.
First, I want to get to this fella's call.
Here we go.
Big fan of Schroeder's calling in.
Rather not give my name for personal reasons, but.
Okay.
And that's probably child support, I'm guessing.
Yes, sir.
Go ahead.
Been going through a big transitional time in my life with therapy and stuff like that.
And just listened to your new episode, and you talked about doing the ketamine therapy.
And I actually just finished my sixth session of doing that.
And it was just really nice to hear that someone I look up to, you know, has taken the same route of trying to get some self-help like I am because I kind of felt alone in it, like no one else really understood what it was or anything.
And I kind of took a dive and went for it.
And I got to tell you, I was cracking up when you were talking about the crying in the first session because when I did my first session, it felt like there was a fucking tear tractor beam in front of my face pulling everything I had out of me.
Yep, that tear tractor, baby.
And somebody's using a skill saw nearby if you can hear a sound.
Onward.
It felt good, but like you said, it's real emotionally draining.
But yeah, I just wanted to say stick with it, man, because I finished mine and it's helped me be much more emotionally expressive to people around me and really strengthen my relationships with people that I have in my life.
And also, thanks for doing the show.
He's got me through some hard times.
I think that, you know, you put a smile on people's face a lot more than you might think you do and help them get through some rough times just from you talking and shooting shit on your show.
So thanks again, man.
Gang, gang.
Gang, brother.
Thank you.
I appreciate, you know, that's sweet of you to say that, man.
Thank you.
Thank you for calling.
Yeah, you know, I was scared to do it.
I was scared to talk about it, honestly.
You know, but I also, you know, I just, I want to be proactive in trying to feel good.
You know?
And yeah, that for and I'll try anything.
You know, here's the thing, I've tried dr like street drugs.
So to try something that's, you know, that at least even if it's a street drug, it's being used in a positive way or, you know, a way that's like directionally decent, then that, shoot, I'm, you know, I'm a sucker for that, I guess, then.
But, yeah, thanks, man.
I'm glad I did it.
You know, I'm glad I'm doing it.
And it's interesting.
It's really interesting.
I'm curious to see kind of some of the effects, some of the long-term effects, if there are any.
I'm just curious.
And, you know, I wonder if years from now there will be cures for some of this stuff.
Sometimes I still think it's just a spiritual malady that I have and that it has nothing to do with anything else.
But, you know, I want to exhaust every option.
So that's what I'm going to do.
Or I don't know if that's what I'm going to do, but we'll see what I'm going to do.
I don't even know what I'm going to do.
Damn.
But thanks, man.
I'm glad you checked it out, man.
And thanks for the good words.
You know, I had an Epiphany just or just an idea.
I don't know what it was.
I mean, Epiphany is just a damn idea in a skirt.
You know that, bruh.
It's just an idea that showed up to Happy Hour with lipstick and a condom in a sock.
You know what I'm saying?
Epiphany.
Oh, you know, Epiphany.
She likes to get it right.
You feel me?
So.
What else, man?
Let's take another call that came in here.
Here we go.
What's up, Theo?
It's Aaron from Oklahoma City.
What's up, Aaron?
Oklahoma City, man.
Y'all did that bombing, bro.
And what else, man?
Oh, yeah.
Kevin Durant also, baby.
Let's go, gang.
I know you say you used to be a busboy.
I'm a busboy as well.
I was wondering if you had any crazy busboy stories, like weird conversations you overheard or something.
Damn.
Was your daddy a typewriter, dog?
Because you definitely, you know, you got that kind of that stenographer's vibe, man.
Any good bus boy stories?
Well, Alfonso Rivieros came in one time when I was busboying.
Kevin Costner came in, and he ate three muffins.
I remember that.
He liked them.
Yeah, he did like them.
What else happened?
Oh, dude.
So my boy Dennis, we used to do drugs, and the first time we ever did some cocaine, he took me over to somebody's house, and the guy only had one eye.
You know, he had that buck shot, baby, or whatever.
You know, he had that, you know, he honestly just kind of, his face was kind of fucking brave.
It's like, hey, I'll do it with one.
You know, check ball.
You know what I'm saying, bruh?
And he just checked that other one at the door, baby.
His face said, look, fam, we going one rock.
So I respect that, man.
The guy, I don't remember his name.
But I walk in and the guy's coming up from doing a line of cocaine and there's a thing of fresh oranges on the table.
And he looked up at me and only had one eye.
And I thought I was already fucked up.
I thought that the guy had kind of sucked so hard with his nostril, he took one of his eyes back into his head.
You know, and at that point, I'm thinking he's just seeing snot, you know, seeing the inside of his capabilities.
But what else, man?
Yeah, I mean, some other stuff happened.
I remember I found an Abbey Road tape.
And it's a cassette tape, and some people don't believe in them, but I believed in them.
And I found that on the side of the road, and I used that for a while listening to that album.
That was my introduction to the Beatles, really.
And I would time it just perfectly when I left work, when I put on that one song.
What is this?
Imagine, I don't know what it is.
But it was a good song, man.
I would time it just perfectly.
When I left work, I had me a little Doral or a Lil Winston.
And I would cut that bitch on with a lighter.
And I'd fire up that 1984 Ford Escort.
Let's go.
I'm upstairs.
And I would drive that thing right to home.
And I would get to my mom's place.
This is out in Tucson, Arizona out there.
And it was a lot of like, a lot of Mexican scare, a lot of scare.
There's a lot of just Mexicans fighting at school.
They called it school, but it was basically Mexican people fighting.
And then there was some book, like occasionally someone would read a book report.
And I would just get to my mother's house in that last touch of that last huff of that Dorale, baby.
And I really loved that.
I missed that time.
But thank you for reminding me, Aaron, of that.
And good luck out there in OKC, man.
And if anybody is in Oklahoma City and they see a bus boy, see if he's Aaron.
That could be him.
We got a call that came in here.
This fella right here, beautiful fella.
Here we go.
It could be beautiful.
This is just audio.
Hey, what's going on, Theo?
This is Matt.
I'm out here in Washington State.
I just was curious.
What's up, Washington State?
Out there, Tacoma, man.
And you guys, unfortunately, Gonzaga went out.
And people don't know, they're based out of Spokane.
And I spent some time up in near Snoqualmie out there.
And I had some girl, met a girl out there I made love to out there one time.
She worked in, I don't want to say arts and crafts surplus, but yarn sales.
I remember she had a little subaru hatchback full of yarn, multicolored yarn, baby.
Beautiful little lady.
Let's hear more, Brother Onward.
Got any advice for me, or if maybe any listeners had some advice for me?
I've been in the military for about five years now, and I joined right out of high school.
I'm about to get out.
Coming up here in August.
I'm just seeing if anybody had any advice, you know, it's pretty nerve-wracking.
I haven't known anything else my whole life.
I've only been in the military.
So working on getting jobs lined up, a house for me and my wife, whatnot like that.
So if you or any of the listeners had any advice for me, I appreciate it.
You know, gang, gang.
Thanks, Maddie.
And yeah, you know, that's a great question.
I've never been military.
You know, and there were some kids in our school that was in ROTC, and they were, you know, some of them honestly were inbreeding or doing inbreeding, and they were, they used to run around after school with wooden guns and pretend people was attacking the damn philosophy center or whatever, you know.
You know, they'd be defending the library.
You'd see six of them out there.
You know, one of them knocked up out there with a wooden gun and they're all defending the damn book drop off at the damn night drop off at the damn library.
Just, you know, I respect them.
I'm not saying I don't respect them, but they were, the training bus was bleak.
You know, I remember that.
The training bus was bleak.
Damn, what was I talking about?
Oh.
Well, you know, that's a great question, Matt.
And I think that is a good question to put out to people.
You know, I'm sure we have a lot of listeners that are military, and thank you very much for your service.
You know, I'm sorry a lot of these days, the media probably doesn't support you as much as you feel like it should.
You know, military does so much to keep us safe.
Do you know that in America, there's always like we're only eight hours away from, we could be wheels up.
You could have a SEAL Team 6 or one of those airborne groups or Army Ranger.
I don't know exactly what I'm talking about.
So I'm going to shut up.
But we're always only eight hours away from having just full bore.
And that's crazy.
You know what I'm saying?
You couldn't.
It takes a family of four damn four days to plan a fucking, to pack a van to go to Destin.
So when you're thinking about or pack a van to go to the damn Lake of the Ozarks, which is in Missouri, and I didn't know it for years.
And also, did you know this?
The what is it called?
It's in Pennsylvania.
The Poconos is in Pennsylvania.
Had no idea, man.
For years, I had no idea.
I thought it was islands.
I thought it was off of Aruba or somewhere.
But the Poconose is in damn Pennsylvania.
So a lot of stuff being learned by everybody.
But yeah, if you have suggestions, what's a good suggestion for somebody if they're getting out of the military?
What do you think?
You know?
What do you think?
Somebody's getting out of the military.
If you've been in the military, hit the hotline, 985-664-9503, and we'll put together some ideas for you, Matt, and just kind of survey the crowd there.
What else?
Yeah, man, that's pretty fascinating that we have that capability to keep us safe, you know.
We've gotten so used to being safe here in America.
In a way, it's almost like the people you have to be safe from now are in America.
That's the crazy part.
Like it's companies and it's, you know, big tech and just things that can limit your ability to be free.
It's wild, man.
It's just interesting to see once you don't have the enemies outside or they're, you know, because our previous generations had that.
They were fighting for territory and for our borders and a secure place.
And then once you don't have, once that scare isn't there for a while, damn.
The enemies is in the damn Wi-Fi, man.
It's crazy.
I mean, also, I don't know what I'm talking about.
Let's hear something here, man.
We got some other nice calls that came in, some really good ones.
And let's ask, let's hit this one right here.
What's up, Dio?
It's Luke out of Birmingham, Alabama.
Luke out of Beham, baby.
And they call it Beham.
And I went to a concert over there near Pelham, Alabama one time.
And I was a child, man.
I was a damn middle-aged child.
And we was bent out on ecstasy or something.
I don't know.
I ate something out of somebody's hand.
I remember fucking eating it right out of their hand.
I didn't know what it was.
And I ate it, and I was drugged out, and I smoked me half a pack of Newports in a row outside of a day's inn, which was a semi-decent.
It was fine during the day.
You know what?
They advertise well.
During the day, it's fine.
Dude, come about 6.15 p.m.
Bro, it's for days only, dog.
It got real dicey out there.
I'm upstairs.
Dude, I was upstairs, baby.
I wasn't out on the streets around there.
Shout out Days In, baby, D.I. Gang.
Sorry, let's hear more, Luke.
This is about you, man.
And so I just got my first number from a girl.
Let's go!
That's what I'm talking about.
That's what we do here.
Let's get some wins on the board, baby.
Let's go, Lukey.
I heard the first time I asked the girl for her.
Come upstairs!
Her number.
Sorry, I interrupted you.
Let's go back.
The girl for her number.
Sorry.
I just got my first number from a girl.
Or the first time I asked the girl for her number.
And, you know, I was just going to get a smoothie and my lunch break because that's what I do when I get stressed out.
Oh, yeah.
That's how I ended up on DMT over there in Maui.
Homeward.
sitting apart.
But anyways, I don't do...
And I'm going to stop you right there.
Lookie, Lukey, Lookie, Lookie here, Papa.
Numeros.
Man, there's nothing when you that first moment.
I don't know if it's like this for women.
And a lady, please, if you're a lady, bro, if you're running that little wallet, bro, and you're doing that for God and all of that, and you can have children, hit the hotline, 985-664-9503.
And let me know if it's like this for women.
Because a guy, when you see the girl, when you see that little dime roll out the bank, baby, or roll out the Starbuck, you know, or the damn DW shoes or whatever.
The little, you know, the Long John's.
Not the pant shop, the Long John's fish store.
Long John's Silver.
Is he Jewish?
Is Long John Silver Jewish?
I don't know, man.
But yeah, when you see, whenever that first glimpse, just like, damn, damn, bro.
It's like that kind of that stick.
You know that crisp sting that come from Listerine?
It's kind of like that, bro, but in your in your damn vulva or whatever.
Like in your, because your penis starts at your brain.
You know that, right?
That's where it starts.
It's all activated out of the brain.
So anyway, yeah, man, there's nothing like that first moment, man.
There's nothing like that first moment, bro.
Let's hear more.
And bruh, she texted me, and I don't know where do I go from here.
I just got out of a relation, a bad breakup.
It's been a year now.
I'm just getting over her.
I don't know where to start, man.
I know you got your girl troubles, too.
And even though you a sexy-looking motherfucker, just give me some advice on what I should do with that number or how I should go about it.
I probably already fucked it up.
Yeah, that's true.
I'm sure you have, bro.
If you're like any dude I know, they texted too early, bro.
Onward.
But yeah, man.
I went to my first AA meeting last night, too.
I was drunk, but I looked up, and that's acceptable AA meeting, so I turned my ass around because it felt my heart.
But it went good.
All right, I'll let you go, brother.
Gang, gang.
Gang, baby.
Man, I'm proud of you for just being brave, man, for just doing shit, you know?
For just staying busy, man.
You're staying busy.
You're staying in the flow of life.
You know, what I start to realize, and this has happened for me recently, I start to isolate.
Oh, I need to keep myself from this and keep myself from this.
And how can I stay out of this deal, this situation?
You know, I don't want to be.
I don't know.
And the more I do that, the more I isolate and the more I get alone and feeling alone.
And for me, that's a lot of my alcoholism.
A lot of whatever the ism is inside of me, whatever the thing, whatever that dirty baby that crawls inside of me, that's what it's a lot of it is that.
It's just that thing that wants to keep me separate.
Keep me alone.
Keep me in that womb, you know, wherever that womb is.
You know, I want to be on that.
I want to be that cat in the top box while everybody else is getting dosed out in fucking Martha.
I want to be that cat in the top box.
But that doesn't suit me, though, because then I'm alone.
It just, it's a trickery.
And it's a trickery, man.
And that's devil.
That's devil working.
And that is devil working, brother.
Praise God, man.
But I'm happy for you, man.
Let's get some wins on the board.
If you had a win, hit us up at the hotline, 985-664-9503.
Let me know your wins.
We need some wins in the books.
Yeah.
Let me know your wins.
If you tried something, something happened, you know.
And congrats on the meeting, man.
It doesn't matter.
There's no right way to do anything.
There's just your life.
There's just your path.
And yeah, look, it's neat to check out.
You know, I've been in them before.
I don't know if I've ever been in one drunk before.
But I've been in one the night after drinking many of times, man.
And it doesn't matter, man.
But good for you just staying in the flow of things as much as I don't want to sometimes.
Everything inside of me says, no, don't go.
Say you can't.
But then when I go, then I'm in, I realize that I'm okay.
And that's one thing there's a lot of society right now, there's this thing of this separation.
How can we close everybody off and just make them it feels like anyway, and this is just to me, I'm not saying this to everybody, but it feels like there's a lot of society trying to just close us off to be alone, which then creates suffering so then we can buy something to make us feel better.
And then they want you in that little rose box coffin, baby.
Five feet by 18 inches, daddy.
They want you playing small ball.
But Lukey is out here smoothied out, boo-boo.
I'm upstairs.
Lukey's out here smoothied up because he's dealing with some dub-ass fucking work stress.
And he's logging digits at the park, baby.
That's what we do.
Play ball.
I don't care if you're in the game.
I don't care if he's a third bait coach.
I don't care if he's a streaker.
Get in the field.
Get in the field.
And there's that skill saw.
You hear that?
And apparently when I get too fired up, that thing goes off.
Thank you, Luke.
Thank you for that call, man.
Man, you made my day.
You made my day, man.
You know, and that's all you can make at the day's end, bro, because 6.15 comes around.
Pop, pop.
Veldrons out there freaking, woo-woo.
Dude, there'll be somebody out there cooking a can of beans with a fucking 15 cow, baby.
Somebody losing it.
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Also, I want to let you know we have the Podcast Ville 2019 art that was done by Papio Toon.
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You can get it.
It can be framed or unframed.
It can be on a mug.
It can be, I mean, it's really, really beautiful.
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Man, I'm excited to hit up these single miles.
We got Mother's Day coming up.
You know, my mom came in town.
You know, I was definitely excited.
You know, I saved some things at home for us to do together, like just to go shopping for the small things.
And not even saved them.
I think I just hadn't done them.
So, you know, it was nice to spend time together.
I thought about having her as a guest on the podcast, but we don't really have it set up right now to do two people.
So we're going to have to wait maybe another time.
You know, there were sometimes it was a little stressful and we kind of just went to our mutual corners and that was okay, you know.
you know, it was kind of nice in a lot of ways, man.
It was nice, just like I think I kind of come to some realizations that, like, you know, my relationship with my mother doesn't, it doesn't have to be some perfect thing.
You know, I think always in my head that it needs to land in some perfect place where it all has to be figured out.
And it's okay.
It can kind of be, that's that skill saw.
It can kind of be, you know, it can just be kind of fluid.
And so there was nice, there was some niceness about that.
You know, there was some niceness just to have some times also where I was like, you know, I just need some space to myself.
And I'm an adult now, so I could do that.
I could take that space.
Where when I was a child, I didn't really have that ability.
If I needed, you know, if, you know, you're, you're kind of in your parents, you know, you're in their domain.
So, so it was good, man.
We went and picked out some different stuff and got some different things, got some soap, got a shower caddy in my shower because everything was just sitting on the bottom.
You know, when you're kind of, you know, just two-stepping around the toothpaste and all of that and just trying to kick stuff away from the drain.
If you've ever done that in your shower, you just like don't set anything up.
So it's just in the bottom.
You just keep kicking it away from the drain.
But got a shower caddy.
Forgot silverware.
So still doing, you know, still washing the plastics off in the sink.
But it was nice.
We didn't have really any heart-to-heart convos or anything like that.
You know, and that's okay.
I'm glad that we both made the time to spend time together, though.
You know, we both made a commitment to spend time together.
And it was nice, man.
We went out one night.
Mom had a margarita, her second one she's ever had.
So that was cool.
So I had to put, I had to ask her some, you know, ask her some questions about that, about her first marriage after that.
And so, you know, I got into that a little.
But yeah, we had a nice time, man.
I know that she loves me.
And, you know, and I'm hard to love sometimes, you know, I'm particular as an adult.
And I think those were safety mechanisms that I used as a kid.
And now they sometimes keep me too safe in some ways.
You know, they can sometimes keep me so safe that I'm separate.
But that's okay.
I'm not complaining.
People sometimes are like, man, you're whining.
I'm not having self-pity.
I'm just, sometimes I like to share what I'm thinking or feeling.
And it's not complaining.
It's not, I'm just sharing it.
You know, I just, I just, I'm just sharing it.
And so that's okay.
You know, it's Mother's Day coming up.
And we're going to get to that in just a second.
And first I want to get into maybe one or two more.
Oh, this happened, bro.
A couple of Italians threw a flat screen off a damn thing.
Yo, we're on the 47th floor here.
Oh, my God.
And I don't know if you can see this literally.
It's two white dudes, one of them in a straight-up Geta jersey.
Okay.
So Italian.
Could be Jewish, this kid, but it looks Italian.
But definitely has a television.
Obviously, it's probably from the hotel, 42nd floor.
These two dudes are yaked up, baby, on some of that Italian yak, baby, that giddy up, bruh.
That freaking brain father, dog.
You know what I'm talking about, baby.
That freaking genealogy dust, baby.
You snort your way back to your grandfather on some of that strong shit, baby, gang.
and they just threw a television off the 42nd floor in what looks like i'm gonna say this is las vegas it's pretty funny
I love how as soon as it hits, the guy runs into the hotel room.
Like at that, like at that point.
Oh, man, that shit is good, dude.
Oh, that was good.
So right there, that's full Italian, man.
And that is, I mean, it's just, you know what makes me mad?
The quality of product.
And that's product quality, they call it.
But that makes me mad, man.
A long time ago, dude, television, you threw that bitch off.
You needed two people to throw that bitch, okay?
And when that thing hit, dude, I mean, Timothy McVay probably, you know, his spine got a little straighter.
You know, that thing really, those things, it was glass on the front and it was a damn, there was a bulb in there and there was some real weight and girth to it.
That thing, that thing would get to the 42 floors in five seconds.
This thing took five to eight seconds.
That thing landed like a damn dove down there.
That thing landed like a dove, baby.
Damn.
So we need to just heavy these bitches up, man.
But that's a ballsy move, man.
Throwing that thing 42 floors, throwing the TV off, man.
Praise God.
That's Italian, Daddy.
Let's go.
Got another video right here of a Giants fan.
Reacting to the Eagles stealing their player.
Are you kidding me?
Are you oh, get the fuck upstairs now?
Get the fuck up the stairs now!
Are you kidding me?
I fucking put a hole in the floor!
And the guy punched two holes into the wall.
The guy couldn't handle the pick, the draft pick, the Giants, the Eagles stole the draft pick.
And the guy put two holes into the wall.
Here's what I'm saying, ladies.
You want the holes in the wall?
You want the holes in the wife.
Sometimes the exertion has to get out.
So I think that this man did the right thing.
I think his wife also did the right thing by telling him to get the fuck out.
If suddenly he thinks he's a dang general contractor when he's hopped up on fucking Heineken Somerale at 4 p.m.
in the afternoon to be a damn Giants fan.
Come on, bro.
Y'all got Evan Ingram.
Y'all should have him throw and catch the ball, dude.
But look, man, that's the kind of stuff that's going on out there in God's world, man.
And so that's what happens when you watch the NFL draft.
Dude, go to flag football.
Watch flag football.
It's better.
Some of it's co-ed.
There's hot chicks, bro.
Live it up.
Amen, man.
Man, we've had a good time so far.
I've had a good time anyway.
Thank you guys for being here.
And speaking of sports, man, there's one last sport I want to check in on.
and this is an underwater sport right here I don't know if you've seen this.
If you can see the video on YouTube, that the men is men underwater.
And I'm not going to say this is a, you know, this is definitely an all-male type of sport.
This is definitely a lot of men that's homeowners, if you know what I'm talking about, brother.
You know what I'm saying?
Full men on men.
Just tickling each other on the water, trying to get a little look like a damn little sausage from each other.
Like a little sausage bun, one of those eight inchers.
And then they.
Oh, that big boy is pushing him.
Oh, God, he threw that.
Oh.
Who is that?
That man's wearing a thong.
But this is definitely...
So you could just say really obviously, that's what this is.
I hope these men are all safe.
And this could be a prison thing also.
Because it seems real touch and go.
All right.
Let's get on.
Thank you for whoever sent that in.
Thank you for everybody who made calls into the episode today.
All right.
With Mother's Day coming up, you know, it's an exciting time for us to do something for some single moms out there.
And I want to thank everybody who's a part of our Patreon and just a listener of this podcast.
You know, I always feel everybody's support in this realm.
And so, you know, it's nice for me to just be the liaison of us offering a little bit of assistance here and there.
And just a moment to recognize.
So we got a submission that came in today.
Let me play this video right here.
Yo, what's up, Theo?
It's Chico from Berkeley, California.
Out here doing some urban farming.
That little chicken back there.
Dang, Chico got that freaking yard bird, son.
That freaking backyard dinner section, daddy.
Let's go.
Thank you for calling, Chico.
Let's hear more.
Back there.
I wanted to nominate my homegirl, Alicia, for the single mothers thing.
She had a son while she was in high school, young mom, and put herself through community college, put herself through her bachelor's program in nursing, all while holding a job.
Now she's actually in a master's program for nursing at the University of San Francisco, paying for that herself.
And all, you know, she's got a new job while she's doing that.
So girl's been working hard, taking care of her son.
She cooks meals for him every night.
They always sit down for dinner and takes him out on bike rides every day.
So she's working really hard and she deserves everything she can get.
I'm really proud of her.
Love to see what she's doing.
Appreciate what you guys do over there this past weekend.
Peace.
Yang, baby.
Thanks, man.
That's a nice message, man.
That's nice that you recognize those things and see those things and just care to share them with us, man.
So thank you for doing that, Chico.
Yeah, let's hit up this young lady right here, Alicia.
Alasha.
Now, that's a name right there, Alicia.
Sound like a piece of ice.
Hey, Alicia, can you hear me?
Yes.
Are you mad at me?
I don't know what this is.
Well, I'm not a bad guy.
I mean, I'm not a great guy.
I'm semi-decent, I think.
But I just work on a podcast, so that's what I do.
And I was raised by a single mom, and so sometimes on our podcast, we have listeners that call in and nominate single moms for us to do something nice for.
So you have a friend named Chico is his name.
And he seemed like a real decent man.
And anyway, he called in and nominated you.
And so we just wanted to send you $750 to do something nice for your kiddo one day.
So that's really all this is, really.
Is this real?
Yeah, unfortunately, yeah.
I know we're bothering you today, and I am sorry about that.
But yeah, he really did.
He just called and left a message and just said, hey, I know this girl, and she is a hard worker, and she spends a lot of nice time with her son and makes him meals, and they go on bike rides.
And, you know, I just really admire her.
And so I wanted to nominate her.
And so now we're just doing our part of the responsibility is just to call you and let you know.
So you know Chico or not?
I do.
And tell me about him.
Be honest about it.
Oh, my gosh.
This is so awkward.
Yeah, life's kind of awkward, you know?
He's a cool guy.
Is he?
He's a good guy, too.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, I don't think he's doing it to be weird or anything.
I think he just thought it would be a nice gesture, you know?
Yeah.
What's your kiddo like?
You got a little son, huh?
Yeah, I have a son.
What's he like?
Pretty he is?
Yeah, he's very polite.
Oh, that's nice.
That's my favorite thing is when somebody says nice, polite, polite things, you know?
Yeah.
Is it fun raising him?
Yeah, it's like I learn about myself while I'm raising him, too, and we pretty much have been growing together.
Oh, that's pretty cool.
Yeah, I think I got to get me a child one of these days.
I'm about ready to hatch something.
You know what I'm saying?
Sure.
Okay.
Well, that's it.
So I'll just have, we have a producer from our podcast who will just reach out, and then we'll just, you know, just send you just a little gift, and then you can just be something fun you can do.
What, you know, summertime's kind of coming.
Maybe you guys could go do something fun together if you want.
Sounds good.
Thank you.
Okay, you're very welcome.
And thank Chico.
And I hope you have a nice day.
Thank you.
You too.
Okay, bye-bye.
Bye.
And maybe people skeptical.
You know, some people is skeptical.
And that's okay.
Maybe she's not skeptical.
Fuck.
She don't know me.
You know what I'm saying?
If I saw some man called from a damn mortuary, obviously, you've seen this place and dressed in a damn way-matic shirt.
What is it?
You know?
You know, and wearing these pants, then I would definitely be skeptical as well.
But that's okay.
That's a good mom being skeptical.
That's a good mom, you know.
Skeptical first.
That's my motto, baby.
You know that.
So let's try.
We got one more nomination that came in.
Let's check that out right now.
Hey, Theo.
My name's Jeremy.
I heard about what you're doing with the single mothers.
Much respect to you.
I think that's a beautiful thing.
I was raised by a single mother myself.
And any chance we can to highlight single mothers and how strong they really are, I'm on board.
I'd like to nominate Desiree.
I've known her since she was a young girl.
I've watched her growing from a young woman to a grown woman to a mother.
And watching her raise her children or her child after the loss of the father of the child, it's just a beautiful thing.
And if I can do anything to help her, I would.
Well, thank you, brother.
I appreciate you putting her on our radar.
And let's see if we can't give her a buzz right now, actually.
Hey, Desiree.
Hello.
Where you at?
You at school still?
Huh?
Where you at?
Man, it's hot.
Yeah, it's hot everywhere.
It is, it is.
What the kids doing?
They just went back to class.
I have to, I don't get off until two.
I have like 15 minutes.
You got 15 minutes?
Yes.
Oh, we only need a couple minutes, girl.
You know what I'm saying?
That's the kind of guy I am.
You know what I'm saying?
So I work on a podcast.
My name's Theo, and I work on a podcast, and we have a section of our podcast where our listeners will nominate single moms, and we'll reach out to them, and they'll just send in a video.
And a man named Jeremy sent in a video saying some really nice things about you and how proud he is to know you and that you're a single mother.
And so we just wanted to reach out and offer you just a gift because I was raised by a single mom, so we just want to send you $750 to go do something nice with the kiddo this summer.
What?
Oh, my God.
So that's it.
That's it.
If you still got the kiddo, you still a single mom or not?
Yeah.
Yeah, you know, you can't live without them and you can't live with them.
Yes, my son is seven and he's in first grade.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Does he go to your school or no?
Yes, he's here to my school because it's convenient.
So we get off at the same time and we go home, do homework, and spend time.
Today he has a baseball game, so we're going to head to his baseball game after this.
Oh, nice.
What position is he playing yet?
He does pitcher and he loves first base and he's a catcher right now.
Oh, yeah.
Well, they got him in some good position.
They used to put me out in the field out there eating grass with them kids.
Right?
Twirling around and stuff.
Oh, they used to put me out there.
One kid got lost out there.
I don't know where he's at.
Yeah, it was a different time back then.
So your kid, he's seven years old?
Yeah, seven years old.
Yes.
Oh, that's nice.
What does he like to do?
So he likes to play baseball.
He must be pretty active, huh?
Keep him active.
He likes to play baseball, basketball, and oh, wow.
Dang.
And where do you teach at?
You're a teacher?
Yeah, I'm a teacher.
Listen, I'm in school.
I'm a teacher, so I'm a full-time teacher.
And I do school part-time, and then, you know, mother full-time and all types of hats.
Dang, you got all the hats on, huh?
Yes.
Well, Jeremy thinks the world of you, and we do too.
And we just wanted to let you know that, you know, that even though sometimes probably being a single mom might not seem like people are thinking of you, we just wanted to let you know that people are thinking of you.
Man, it's bringing me to almost bringing me the tears.
No, thank you.
This is really, this means a lot.
So thank you so much.
Thank you.
Oh, you're welcome.
You're welcome.
We just want to let you know we out there grinding with you.
You doing all the work, but we got your back.
That's all we say, you know.
Hey, you know, and that's that's right.
Thank you guys so much.
And it's who's cheering back, like you just said.
So thank you so much.
Well, we certainly are.
And happy Early Mother's Day to you.
And you guys have fun at the baseball game.
And I'll have my producer reach out and you guys go do something fun this summer.
Okay, No, thank you so much, Theo.
Thank you.
And nice meeting you.
Yeah, nice to meet you, too.
It's a pleasure.
You look lovely today, and I hope you have a good rest of the day.
Okay, thank you, sweetheart.
Bye.
Bye-bye.
Man, and that's beautiful to see.
You know, it's nice to see just a smiling face.
You know, it's nice to see a mom smiling.
You know, that makes me feel good.
You know, I don't think, you know, my mother was under a lot of stress growing up.
Yeah, just nice to see a mom just having some joy.
You know, and that's what this is all about, man.
It's just those moments of connection.
You know, and that's really what life is about, I think.
As much as I want to isolate sometimes and I want to get in my own space and I want and I think that that's the answer.
You know, I think if I can just get this other little rest or this other little separation or this other time to myself, then I'll be.
You know, the opportunity, even just the opportunity to listen for 30 seconds for a minute about a mom who likes going to play, see her son play, pitcher, first base, catcher, all some of the skill positions.
When I was out there in damn left field, and people's eating mushrooms, eating psychedelic mushrooms on accident out there.
Praise God.
But yeah, there's just something warm about it, man.
There's something...
There's something warm about it.
There's something that's relieving about it.
Just listening to having a conversation with a, connecting with a, with a, with a, with a young lady.
And hearing her just talk about how she cares about her son and just how they have a nice little time together.
You know.
For both those ladies.
You know, I thought it was really sweet.
Alicia said her son is polite.
That's a, man, that's a nicest, a little polite kid, man, that's the nicest little thing, you know.
Because then, man, it just offers so many other bridges to be built there when you already have politeness out of the gate.
So much opportunity for connection, man.
When one person is saying, hey.
What else, man?
That's all I got.
You know, that's all I got.
Happy early Mother's Day to you guys.
And Father's Day.
I know there's a lot of single dads out there, too, that are grinding and getting it done.
And look, we'll switch it over to you guys one of these days and run it up for the pops out there.
But I'm excited to see some of y'all on tour.
And I'm just excited to be a part of this podcast, man.
You know, I'm staying busy and I'm working.
I'm just not giving up.
I'm not giving up on myself.
Another week, I'm not giving up on myself.
And I might give up in certain moments.
I might not win every moment, but I'm going to do my best to win the day if I can.
And if I don't win every day, I'm going to do my best to win the week.
And you can too.
And I know that most of you are.
And for those of you who aren't, who are struggling, man, just hang in there.
That's all.
You just got to hang in there.
That's the thing.
You know, life is a dog, man, but it's every part of a dog.
You know, and some parts will scratch you, some parts will bite you, but some parts is warm.
Some parts will wag.
Hell, some parts you get a little bit of milk out of them.
You know what I'm saying, bro?
That's a different, I mean, that's certain times, but whatever.
You know what I'm saying?
Praise God, baby.
You guys be good to yourself, man.
You guys deserve it.
And on the way out today, we're going to listen to Josh Kelly, Hold Me, My Lord.
And man, this is Josh Kelly featuring all voices in this one, man.
It really, really, now, it really does it for me.
You guys be good, baby gang.
Sing down the sun.
There we go, baby.
Shine down your song so bad in mind.
Got me bad.
Breaking news tonight: millions of Americans ordered a shelter in place.
Turmoil at the CDC.
Controversy at the end of the day.
Come on, Josh Kelly.
So that we might not lose our way.
So holy, holy, holy Lord, holy my heart.
Down on my knees asking you to hold me.
Hold me, hold me with your loving arms.
All that I need is you to hold me.
Hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, my Lord.
You know I've been unkind.
The government says there could be up to 10,000 people in the country.
The times even proved I lost all my dreams.
Until I found you.
Until I found you.
Blessed the hands.
That forgave this full heart.
Buried the sins.
To make way for a brand new star.
Yes, you did.
Holy, holy, holy Lord, holy.
Holding my heart Down on my knees asking you to hold me You're loving me to hold me Holy,
holy holy Lord holding my heart come on Josh Kelly down on my knees asking you to hold me hold me hold me with your loving arms All that I need is you to hold me Hold me my love Come on I need you to hold
me Hold me my love Come on hold it Hold me my Lord Man,
he knows how to put it on the grill he sure does He do he sure does know how to put it on the grill That's Josh Kelly Hold Me My Lord featuring all voices gang ladies and gentlemen I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events stand-up stories and seven ways to pleasure your partner The answer may shock you sometimes I'll interview my friends sometimes I won't and
as always I'll be joined by the voices in my head A lot of people are talking about guide club I've been talking about guide club for so long longer than anybody else anyone who doesn't listen to colour is a dirty bloody like anyway
