Tim Dillon and Logan Paul | This Past Weekend #228
Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/ThisPastWeekend_ Theo sits down with Logan Paul fresh off the heels of his superfight rematch announcement and rising comedic star Tim Dillon to talk about Tim Dillon Podcast: The Tim Dillon Show https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4woSp8ITBoYDmjkukhEhxg Logan Paul Podcast: Impaulsive https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGeBogGDZ9W3dsGx-mWQGJA ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This episode is brought to you by… My Bookie Use promo code PAST for up to $1000 first deposit bonus at https://mybookie.ag Honey Visit https://JoinHoney.com/Theo to try for free Uncommon Apothecary Use promo code THEO15 for 15% at https://ua-cbd.com ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Find Theo Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Music “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gunt Squad www.patreon.com/theovon Name Aaron Rasche Adam White Alaskan Rock Vodka Alex Hitchins Alex Person Alex Petralia Alex Wang Alexa harvey Andrew Valish Angelo Raygun Annmarie Reilly Anthony Holcombe Ashley Konicki Audrey Hodge Ayako Akiyama Bad Boi Benny Ben Deignan Ben in thar.. Benjamin Herron Benjamin Streit Bobby Hogan Brandon Carla Huffman CharCheezy Christina Peters Christopher Becking Claire Tinkler Cody Cummings Cody Kenyon Cody Marsh Crystal Dakota Montano Dan Draper Dan Perdue Danielle Fitzgerald Danny Crook David Christopher David Smith David Witkowski Dentist the menace Diana Morton Dionne Enoch Doug C Dusty Baker Em Jay Fast Eddie Faye Dvorchak Felicity Black Gillian Neale Ginger Levesque Grant Stonex Greg Salazar Gunt Squad Gary J Garcia Jamaica Taylor James Briscoe James Hunter Jameson Flood Jeffrey Lusero Jenna Sunde Jeremy Siddens Jeremy Weiner Jim Floyd Joaquin Rodriguez Joe Dunn Joel Henson Joey Piemonte John Kutch Johnathan Jensen Jon Blowers Jon Ross Jordan R Josh Cowger Josh Nemeyer Joy Hammonds Justin Doerr Justin L justin marcoux Kennedy Kenton call Kevin Best Kirk Cahill kristen rogers Kyle Baker Lacey Ann Laszlo Csekey Lawrence Abinosa Leighton Fields Luke Bennett Madeline Garland Madeline Matthews Mandy Picke'l Mariah Marisa Bruno Matt Nichols Matthew David Meaghan Lewis Mike Mikocic Mike Nucci Mike Poe Mona McCune Nick Roma Nikolas Koob Noah Bissell OK Qie Jenkins Ranger Rick Robyn Tatu Ruben Prado Ryan Hawkins Ryan Walsh Sagar Jha Sarah Anderson Sean Scott Secka Kauz Shane Pacheco Shannon potts Shona MacArthur Stephen Trottier Suzanne O'Reilly Theo Wren Thomas Adair Tim Greener Timothy Eyerman Todd Ekkebus Tom Cook Tom Kostya Tugzy Mills Tyler Harrington (TJ) Vanessa Amaya Victor Montano Vince Gonsalves William Reid Peters Yvonne Zeke HarrisSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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No, me and my friends played with dead people, alive people, people who were in the middle and we just did what we couldn't get.
Why did you just get any, we couldn't monetize it.
We're from the generation that can't monetize the sociopathy.
Bye.
Shine that light on me I I'll spit and tell you my story.
Shine that light on me.
I'll spit and tell you my story.
Are you training man?
Yeah, man, I am.
Honestly, man, your face looks leaner than the last time I saw you.
I lost five pounds, dude.
I got a sinus infection, though.
Not a good five-pound loss, though.
I got a sign.
Can you hear my nose?
I'm like congested.
A sinus infection will make you lose five pounds?
Yeah, because I've been sick for weeks.
Literally nothing.
You've been sick?
Well, no, I've said I've been, I've had sinus infections.
I've never lost any weight.
I have no appetite.
Wow.
You don't look 100% well, honestly.
Well, it's a keto.
You know, I'm transforming into something else.
Yeah.
Takes a while.
What are you transforming into?
The next person I'll be.
I don't know.
That remains to be seen.
I hope it's a cop.
I don't know.
It could be.
Somebody who sells insurance.
I hope his name is Garrett.
Yeah.
I hope so, too.
I hope so, too.
Garrett, bro.
Dude, first of all, honestly, number one name that I cannot, it's just built into my system somehow.
I can't react well with it.
People name Terry.
Yeah.
And especially if it's a man.
I was going to say, I can get away with the female Terrys.
Guy Terries, I don't know, not so much.
Yes, just like.
It's a name you give a kid when you want them to have a hard life.
Yeah.
Terry, little Terry.
Ooh, yeah.
We had a little guy named Terry by us, this little black fella, and he would always drink milk at the park, dude, and you had no idea how he got it, and he was always there, dude.
How's he doing now?
I'd never seen him on this life.
It's a great question.
That's something to be said about that.
Yeah, this is 26 years ago, dude.
And we're always like, where are your parents?
And he didn't even know.
No.
It's almost like he was just born in a birdbath or something.
New Orleans legend.
What are you training for?
So are you actually training for this fight?
I know you, you just did a fight, Logan.
Yeah, I had a fight last year, August 25th.
And then, yeah, another one this year, November 9th.
Same kid.
It's the rematch.
Okay.
On two.
So professional fight, no headgear, staples center.
It's going to be sick, man.
And you guys think you'll sell it out?
I think so.
Wow.
I think so.
That's crazy.
It's a big fight.
The whole undercard is professional fights.
Yeah, it's like your first professional fight.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I'm undefeated.
I'm undefeated so far.
I'm 00-1, bro.
And you probably beat your brother's ass for years, too, didn't you?
We stopped because we both got...
Yeah, I met him.
He's big, dude.
He's a thick little Oreo.
Yeah, yeah.
So we had to stop fighting because we destroy everything.
Yeah.
You know, in the house, when both the brothers get so big that they'll destroy everything in the house.
Yeah, chairs, tables, glass.
So we stopped.
So it's been a minute since I was.
And he's got a little bit of flintstone in him, too, a little more.
He really does, man.
You know, he's got that, I noticed.
And I couldn't tell if he was like 19 or like 38. You know what I mean?
He could go either way.
The hair doesn't give it away?
Well, I mean, it's just kind of like.
Just like the high and tight for years.
But I think he, I don't know what it was.
He just has, he reminds me of every guy who owns like a nice boat in Florida.
That's what he reminded me of.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wasn't there a thing where he was going to fight someone too?
You were going to do it.
And then wasn't your dad going to fight somebody?
So we.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, dude.
Dude, the whole family was going to fight.
Dude, I hope your dad fights that older black guy.
He's like a politician, but he's like from, he can't even talk.
And everybody's like, he's the best.
And he's like, that's exactly who his dad was going to fight.
It's a good guess.
I want my dad to fight Jussie Smollett.
I think that'd be a good fight.
That would be great.
You know what I'm saying?
That would be great.
Me and GP and Jussie Smollett just phenomenal.
Your dad would probably take care of that man.
He would be.
I mean, dude, who knows?
Go on his Instagram.
You'll see all this man does is chop wood and tie tomahawks to his motorcycle.
Yeah.
Jesus Smollett?
No, not Jesse Smollett.
Not my dad.
He flips tires, he chops wood, and he ties tomahawks to his beat.
Here's the thing, though.
If Jussie Smollett beat your dad, you'd have to kill your father.
You couldn't ever look at your father.
No, I know that.
It couldn't, you know, there's no Christmas is over.
Everything's if Jussie wins.
Yeah, that's wild.
It's that Jussie Smollett.
I can't believe if he fought your dad.
Yeah, I think.
Well, like, historically, he's not so good at defending himself, right?
Right, that's true.
Right.
Oh, yeah, your dad.
I think you're, honestly, dude, I have no idea what your dad even looked like.
And I think he would beat him.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
Yeah.
But a lot of...
I don't know his dad, but I'm afraid.
Most people are.
I'm afraid.
A guy that would raise you and your brother, I think, has got to be insane.
That's a good point.
Who will kill someone?
And I appreciate that.
It's definitely a property owner.
Yeah, that's a real deal guy.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
You know?
That's a real deal guy.
That's not a guy.
That's not a music teacher that didn't bring up these two boys.
You know what I mean?
This is a guy that, like, smacked you around a little bit.
Yeah.
Made you go out and light the world on fire.
Yeah, this ain't a guy that owns a bunch of cologne.
No, no, this guy's not.
There was, no.
He didn't read poetry before dinner, you know?
This is a guy that got into it, you know?
Yeah, this guy who...
No, mom's a sweetheart.
Oh, mom's sweet.
Mom's the exact opposite.
So mom goes the other way.
She's like a sweet.
Okay.
If you even look at his mom, you hear an oven door opening.
Oh, yeah.
Because that guy also could have been raised by like a Long Island mom.
I could also see that, like a tough Long Island bitch.
Sweetheart.
Sweetheart.
Oh, yeah.
And you guys are from where, Ohio?
Ohio.
Yeah.
Ohio.
Were you friends with Roman Atwood?
I was.
I am.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, I still am.
Yeah.
Roman still, have you met him?
Yeah.
Roman's awesome.
Yeah, super cool guy down to earth.
He's a special dude, man.
He's really cool.
Dude, actually, speaking of fight, they had a thing when I was young called, and this is, you know, fag fist fights was a thing.
And it would come to colleges when I was in college.
And it would be two gay men and this lesbian lady, and you'd go watch them, and they would fist fight.
See, college used to be so much fun.
Yeah.
You can't.
You know, before now, all this PC shit now, everything's soft.
Yeah.
That used to be great.
Imagine trying to do that now.
It's called fag fighting.
And we have two gay guys, and it's to first blood.
So the First, AIDS blood splatter, we're done.
Then we're done with the fight.
That would be rough now to get away with.
Yo, yo, I'm going to get canceled just from being on this.
Yeah, yeah, you will be canceled.
That's what we're trying to do.
Watch me say no words.
I'm the one above my bad.
You can't be canceled.
You're above cancellation.
So apparently it doesn't exist.
Cancellation doesn't exist.
It's over.
Yeah, it's over.
Well, here's the thing, though.
That's the thing though.
They've been trying to cancel Trump.
Yeah.
He's about to get picked up for four more years.
Four more seasons.
But isn't it crazy when you think, like, the president was a reality?
I mean, also, he was a businessman, right?
And a shady businessman, I think.
Like, I'm not anti-Trump like a lot of crazy people are.
Like, I don't give a fuck.
You know, I live my life.
The government doesn't determine everything.
Everybody, right?
But he's a reality star.
Cardi B was a reality star.
Cardi B. President.
And she's like the biggest pop sensation.
It's just, it's all starting to kind of blend together.
Yeah, I think a Kardashian will be the governor of California.
I'm not even kidding, though.
I mean, I think you see what Kim is doing right now with the prison reform and stuff.
I think it's going in that direction.
And I got to be honest with you, I'm not mad at it.
I'm ready for the new world.
You know who'd be a sick governor is Chris.
Chris Jenner?
Yeah.
Is she a bad bitch?
Oh, that's funny.
He's got 50 years left on the planet.
Why not have fun?
Yeah.
Why not have both?
Oh, wait, hold up.
50?
That's it?
Probably.
It's going to get rough after 50. Yeah, it's going to get hot.
We're saying literally Chris Jenner as a good option, and I agree with you.
It's going to get rough.
For Christmas, people are going to be getting shields.
Yeah, it's going to be tough.
I mean, there's a lot of tense.
There's a lot of tense.
There's a lot of tense, yeah.
But also, I think in California, like you go to the rest of America, everybody's really kind of just enjoying, you know, things are going pretty cool.
I feel like out here, there's this spider web, like everything's falling apart.
Like, yeah, you do a fist fighting like that, a gay fist fighting at bars.
Dude, where I'm from, people would go see it, have a blast.
Yahoo would make an article about it, but nobody really fucking, I don't think, is watching that shit anymore.
Certainly not Yahoo.
Or reading it.
But I don't think anybody's even reading these websites.
Do you feel like...
The mainstream stuff.
Nobody cared about Chappelle.
Whether there's three people mad at Chappelle's and then everybody's debating it.
It's like, no, nobody cared.
No, it's the, yeah, the minority becomes the majority.
Somehow.
Yeah.
Somehow because of like the amplification of social media.
Yeah, it sucks.
But I don't think it's, do you feel like it's that effect?
I feel like it, it really kind of falls on deaf ears.
It's like, I think it's the worst thing now is if people aren't mad at you.
Right.
Like the worst thing now is if people, if you're not controversial, it's almost like you're done.
The opposite of love is not hate.
It's indifference.
Yeah, which is it?
That's a great quote.
Apathy.
Apathy, dude.
Like, yo, imagine like truly no one gave a fuck about you.
100%.
At least you make them feel something.
Right.
I try to get attention all the time.
I tweet everything.
I just tweet out.
Are you that?
Well, I mean, I try to tweet out things hoping to, you know, to get something and no one cares.
He's like, yeah, that's okay.
You ever rile anyone up?
Sometimes people get bigger.
People are caring more now, though.
I think people are.
The care is getting bigger.
It's been better now.
Last six months.
You know, I had to really turn it up.
You know, say Megan McCain fucked her dad.
I had to take it to the next level.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
And then people were like, oh, okay.
We'll listen.
Incest will get people to move.
Yeah, I had to say she had sex with her father's corpse, and then people were like, oh, okay.
But here's the thing about incest, dude.
Everybody's like, oh, no, no, right?
Yeah.
But what I'm thinking about is, dude, back in the day, you didn't have, the only people that lived around you were kind of family or somebody that was, you know, close.
And you didn't have, everyone didn't have a bicycle or, like, if you had a bicycle, then yeah, maybe you'd fuck somebody that wasn't distantly related to you.
Yeah.
But if you didn't, you could only have sex as far as you could walk or as far as you could.
Yeah.
So you would, people would have sex more locally.
Yeah, you didn't have a choice.
I think that still goes on.
I think that's still probably happening.
Oh, yeah.
There's some areas and stuff you go and you're like, oh, it's like kind of.
I think people are using that exact rationale too when they're in court.
They're like, listen, I have sex as far as I walk.
And then there's a judge going, okay.
Sounds great.
Yeah, bet.
Yeah.
I only have one bike.
Yeah.
I can't get anywhere.
Like, I don't have Uber.
Yeah.
I got a skateboard.
I got a skateboard.
But I just think back in the day, and then at a certain point, they're like, look, you got to get some exercise.
You're going to have to.
You have to walk.
Well, not because of Uber, because of birds.
Like, I don't want to hear any excuses about you not being able to travel five plus miles.
I got birds in lime skitters lying around every corner.
You should be able to fuck not your siblings.
Yeah.
Or not, like.
Unless you want to.
I feel like that's a whole nother problem.
That's a whole nother problem.
But it shouldn't be transportation.
I would never want to, man.
I thought maybe my sister was cute for like a six months, you know, but it's a lot of fun.
A lot of both children.
Yeah.
It's a decent amount of children.
Like, what age were you?
We were kids.
Yeah.
No.
She was like nine and I think I was like 13 or something.
But I didn't think she was like hot or such.
Oh, that's a cute kid that lives at our house, you know?
Right.
Right.
Which is good.
But anyway, what about the so the fight?
So this is going to be a real, so will this fight go into some like W like sanctioned card or what does that mean?
Yeah.
It's legit, man.
Eddie Hearn's promoting it.
He's the, he's the, he's one of the biggest boxing promoters in the world, if not the biggest.
It's going to be on the Dazone app.
D-A-Z-N, right?
Yeah.
Shameless plug, Dazone app.
But yeah, bro, it's going to be fucking crazy.
Throw a little one-two, one-two action.
What'll be different about this fight than the first one that you did?
And I didn't see the first one.
I know it was like, it had a million streams.
I know that.
A million streams.
Two million pirated, by the way.
Crazy.
Like, lost $20 million in one night.
$20 million plus in one night.
Isn't that crazy?
Fucking sucks, dude.
Sucks.
And were you getting paid on buys and stuff?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We were getting paid on buys with no flat fee because we did it through YouTube.
And now Dazone bought the fight.
They bought the rights to the fight.
The difference this time is like, yo, last time I went in as a YouTuber who had to learn how to box in like three or four months.
Boxing is hard.
Boxing is not a sport you can just walk into and rely on your athleticism to make you do well, which I did.
And I did okay.
But for the whole past year, I've been training like pretty rigorously.
And so this time I'm actually like, I would consider myself a fully vetted boxer.
Well, yeah, because your energy even felt different.
Even when you came in here and when I went on impulsive, it just seemed like you had, I was like, oh, wow, this guy looks a little bit leaner, a little more.
You just seemed a little bit like more of an athlete, I think, in a way.
Oh, really?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, For real?
Honestly, somebody had a serious energy.
You weren't goofy.
I thought you'd be goofier.
Yes.
I thought you walked in with like a goofy energy.
Yo, life is a wild energy.
For sure.
So you went in and like looked down like Rocky, like you're ready.
I mean, I'm focused right now.
Also, boys, I'm fucking sick.
I am on the cusp of death.
Okay, no, like, I'm ill.
He looks fine, though.
You sure?
Because my face feels red in my, like, but also, yeah, he's dangerous.
I've been on the real corpses, but he looks good.
He seems fine.
You wouldn't think he's sick.
I mean, I think I would, I've seen, you know, people, I think you don't look sick.
Yeah.
I think you look like a guy who maybe, you know, I think if you didn't sleep for a couple, maybe a night or two, you'd look like a guy who was probably doing a lot of drugs, bro.
What's the training regimen?
Like, what are you doing every day?
I want to get inspired.
I want to get a training regimen that I can.
Are you working out, by the way, or just well, it depends.
You tell me what working out is.
You tell me what working out is, and then I'll tell you what I'm doing.
You mean using a CPAP machine?
Yeah.
What do you mean by working out?
You mean going to the doctor?
Yes, but no.
So what do you do?
What's your regimen?
And I'll tell you my regimen.
We train twice a day.
Okay.
So already I'm not doing that.
I don't do that.
I don't believe in twice a day.
But that's the way you want to do it.
It's fine.
It's a bit above average.
Yeah, twice a day to me is a little mush.
So yeah, you just took the lead.
Yeah, you just took the lead.
But what about you?
I see you got.
Yeah, I'm going to some training this morning.
I just see a trainer now.
So three days a week, and I just hired a yoga trainer as well.
Oh, you fuck with yoga?
So I'm going to do that, yeah.
A yoga trainer?
What is that?
Somebody who motivates you to do yoga?
Basically like a sculptor, basically.
That's insane.
You get into a bad position and they just sculpt you into a better position.
So just a middle-aged, lonely woman who's like, Theo.
It's time.
I hope so.
It's time.
Oh, you haven't trained with a yoga trainer yet?
No, no, no.
She's going to come next week.
They're normally yoga instructors.
Yeah, I've never heard of the yoga trainer, like a hype woman, to get you really into it.
Well, dude, if I flip my dog well, she gives me like a little bacon or something.
So I think that's a thing.
Just make sure you roll out of bed excited.
But no, I go, but I just don't do it as much as I used to.
But I know that when I do, I feel better.
So I'm trying to get it more into my life.
Do you meditate?
Yeah.
People.
I got to start doing that.
Hey, where are you from again?
I'm from Louisiana.
What do your parents think about the meditation?
My mother really believes in it.
And my father's deceased.
So he probably tries to contact me through it, I guess.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
Or he still thinks it's gay.
He probably still could, you know?
He's like, I still don't support this.
Dude, when I was young, a lot of stuff was pretty gay, bro.
Even Jingle Bay.
He's like, what is it?
Are you sitting on a dick, Theo?
He's just upset somewhere in heaven.
He wouldn't think all of that, dude.
So what is the regimen?
I want to hear this.
You wake up.
Yeah, we wake up.
We run.
We box.
How long do you?
Hold on a second.
Hold on.
Tim.
Who is we?
Me and my bro.
Oh, your brother's.
So your brother's right there with you the whole time?
Sometimes.
He wasn't today, but most of the time, yeah.
And is that just a commitment you guys made?
I think he's going to fight on the undercard.
I think he's going to fight on the undercard.
And he enjoys boxing just like me.
Like, you hired a yoga trainer and a personal trainer.
Right.
To me, boxing is just as effective workout-wise, and it's a practical skill.
Like, I don't like picking up weights.
I haven't picked up a weight in two, three years.
Yeah, you look good.
You sculpt yourself.
You feel good.
But boxing, not only does all that happen, but like, you know, like, but also it's a good skill because you can beat someone's eyes.
You might have to attack someone.
I mean, who knows?
Somebody might say something you don't like.
You might have to attack them.
A club or a restaurant.
I'll never attack.
I'll never attack.
I'll antagonize.
Hey, hey, listen.
You know, who knows?
Whatever happens, happens.
I'm just saying.
You might have to do it.
It's a good skill to have.
You might get into traffic.
Do you have a trainer too or not?
I do, yeah.
Okay.
So, yeah.
His name's Milton.
Okay.
Yeah.
And so you guys go out with him and you guys are doing.
And then you guys hit the ring.
Are you hitting the ring?
I need you to have a boxing ring at home.
Boxing ring in my backyard.
Yeah.
You see it?
I saw that.
Seen it?
So you're hitting that every day.
Every day.
Wow.
So five mile run?
We out here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We do about three, three, four right now, but we'll get up to the five mile.
We're two months out, you know.
So if you peak now, we're fucked.
Yeah.
You know?
You got to train it and get the spurts of exerting yourself.
And are you guys blowing a lot of gas at each other?
Y'all talking a lot of shit, you and the other guy?
It just got announced.
Dude, it just got announced yesterday.
Oh, wow.
So we haven't really had a chance to do it, man.
I wish I could use your wit.
I'm going to actually channel you, Theo, because I feel like I'd be able to hurl a lot of good insults.
Oh, dude.
Do you guys not like each other?
Is it like one of those things?
Nah, I hate the kid.
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
And he's a black kid from England.
That's not why I hate him.
No, no, no, I know.
I'm not.
No, I see what you're doing.
Yeah.
So you're fighting for the white rights.
It's tricky.
I'm a follow for this.
Okay.
But what's his date?
He's like the biggest YouTube guy in England, right?
Yeah.
Oh, he is?
Yeah, he's.
Yeah, I think so.
Oh, okay.
I didn't know.
I'd never seen him.
I know his name's KR1.
That's right.
Yeah, no one, no, I mean, I'm going to be honest.
If you're in America, like, you don't know who the kid is.
We don't.
Well, here's the thing.
First of all, if we wanted to be in Britain so bad, we'd have stayed over there, dude.
Our ancestors made a point.
Here's how bad it was going.
We got into a boat, left there.
People are like, where are you going?
We're like, we don't even fucking know, bro.
But we're leaving.
We're out.
Imagine it being that bad.
We're out.
It's gone.
You don't have enough gas to get there.
And you'd be like, yeah, well, fuck it.
Yeah, we'll see what the board wants.
We'll figure it out.
We got this barrel of pepper.
That's what we need.
We got some spices and we're good to go.
Man, this pilgrims are nutty, huh?
So this is, was the first bout here in the U.S. as well?
No, it was in Manchester.
Oh, now L.A., State Center, home to our band.
You got it, dude.
That's what I'm saying.
Do you feel like the first one, it was a draw?
It was a draw.
It was a tie, man.
Yeah, it sucked.
Do you feel like it was a tie?
Nah, I feel like I won.
He looks like a tough dude.
He looks like a guy.
He looks a formidable opponent.
Is it his picture behind me?
Yes.
I think so, yeah.
Unless that's just another guy.
What the fuck?
I mean, bruh.
Cast one.
Look at his face.
How are you going to take that serious?
Yeah.
If I saw him in an alley, I would take it seriously.
You know what I mean?
And that's just because if I saw him in an alley, I would be somewhat threatened.
But how many men have you met in alleys?
A lot, but it's usually a text first, you know?
So they're just from out of nowhere, if I just saw those dreadlocks, it looks like a tarantula.
Dude, I think it does.
It does.
Those locks don't have that much dread in them.
I think this is the tough that this guy looks.
It does kind of look like white girl dreadlocks.
It does to me.
To me, this is what that picture.
The photographer was like, okay, now scrunt your face and look tough.
And that's what happened.
I've seen tougher black women at a bus stop in Baltimore.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
That's your next fight.
You just fight black women at a bus stop in Baltimore.
Dude, I saw this lady one time.
Sponsored by Popeye's new chicken sandwich.
I saw this lady drinking a whole six-pack of baby formula at a bus stop.
No.
Yeah.
There's got to be some sort of nutritional benefits that we don't know about.
But where are the baby dogs?
I don't know, man.
That's crazy.
But by the way, that makes me think, how good is formula?
That's what I'm saying.
That's the other thing.
Is that just nice?
Is that like Nestle Quick?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Potential in the formula.
So that's the guy right there, KX1, man.
And so do you feel like he's going to be training as hard as you?
Do you feel like he's taking it seriously?
Oh, yeah.
You do.
Oh, yeah.
This is a huge thing.
I'm not going to lie.
Man's a dog.
Man's a dog.
Give it to him.
Yeah, man's got heart.
He works hard.
It's sick.
It's sick.
I want to fight somebody now.
Do you, though?
Because this shit is rigorous, man.
And it's violent.
You know how many times, like, how many times you get hit in the head before you realize, oh, shit, this is going to have some long-term repercussions.
Oh, wow.
So you're saying you even noticed that just from that fight?
I spell two sometimes.
Yeah.
Like, oh, you two?
I spell it something.
T-O-O.
T-W-O.
How did you spell it before you got hit?
Correctly.
T-O-O.
U-2.
Right.
Like two people.
Like, I noticed that.
My text sometimes, I misspell the word and I'm like, fuck, it's got to be boxing.
Damn.
I'm 24, bro.
I'm going to come back here in six years.
Yeah.
I'm going to be in a wheelchair.
Do you be wheelchair racing?
It's called punch drunk.
I'll be punch drunk.
Yeah.
I don't want to be in a wheelchair.
And they do have that, man.
Yeah.
Sometimes, sometimes you see some of these guys and they're not all there a little bit.
Of course.
So you're saying you really noticed that just from that bout?
I don't know what else it could be from, man.
I was in the spelling B. Like, why am I misspelling simple words?
How far did you get in the spelling?
I was limited the first round.
Okay.
So hold on.
Hold on.
So technically, we were all in the spelling.
But wait.
We had to do it.
You know what this word I misspelled?
It was kettle.
Oh.
Give it a shot.
K-E-T-T-L-E.
Fuck you, bro.
Yeah.
I say.
I sell E-E-L.
Oh, that's crazy.
Well, there's this kid in my life.
It was this kid in my grandmother.
I would still rather have your life, but I did spell Kettle.
You know what I mean?
I'd still rather leave as you.
That means anything.
Shout out to this girl, bro, named Big Helena, dude.
We had this girl, fifth grade spelling bee.
I lost to a girl named Big Helena, who honestly, I'm not joking, Tim.
I think you're handsome, but she looked just like you, bro.
First of all, she was pregnant.
Good for her.
Whoa, in fifth grade.
No, no.
At 10?
100% pregnant.
Dude, you grew up in the best.
They checked as much as possible, 100% pregnant.
Wow.
And I lost on the word inconvenience, and she won the fucking spelling B. Yeah, because she knows all about an inconvenience.
And she knows all about that.
And quit school the year after.
Yeah.
When you give birth to your uncle's baby in sixth grade in Huffington, wherever, Louisiana, it's an inconvenience.
Yeah, she definitely, so she had insider trading, I think, when it came to it.
Yeah, but that's not fair.
But that's crazy, though, that she beat me.
I remember losing.
And this shit hurt me a little bit, but I was a good speller, too, man.
Yeah.
Yeah, you said you like words on our podcast.
Yeah.
So you love words.
Yeah.
How often you find yourself just reading the good old dictionary.
I got actually a really cool rhyming dictionary.
A friend of mine gave me.
He died, but he gave it to me.
Like a dictionary that one word will rhyme with the other word?
Yeah, it's like every word that'll rhyme like that, you know.
But it was written about maybe 20 years ago, so they don't have like a lot of new words in there.
But you're not doing hip-hop.
No, it's not for hip-hop.
Just like making your brain think like where you could connect stuff, you know, that you might not know.
That's interesting, yeah.
Is there something different you'll do for this second fight?
I'm really curious about this because it's...
I just can't imagine getting to a beef space in – I would love to see it, though, where it's like – Are there real?
I know there are beefs behind the scenes, but do we have are there like public beefs that ever get to the level of?
I think Maniscalco and Andrew Dice Clay.
Yeah, that was getting wild.
Yeah, Dice was tall.
Oh, that'd be cool.
Yeah.
That'd be cool.
It'd be great to see that fight.
I'm trying to think.
I think more celebrities should fight.
Yeah.
Like, how cool is that?
But I think it's all starting to merge, man.
It's all starting to come together.
Like, you know, it's like reality stars are presidents.
Reality stars are the number one pop star in America, in the world.
She was on hip-hop, yeah.
Loving hip-hop.
And no disrespect to her at all, but I'm just saying it's like it's all merging into that one very somewhat scary thing.
Yeah.
So it's like you could be fighting Vladimir Putin in four years.
I heard that man's a dog, dude.
Yo, you know he rides bears.
He does cold plunges.
He does a lot of cold plunges.
He's the biggest guy on YouTube in Russia.
Vladimir Putin.
Number one.
That's unbelievable.
Number one YouTube guy.
So yeah, so if it makes sense that you guys went at it.
Yeah.
Who knows?
You know what?
Maybe you should fight the top YouTube store in every country.
Like you go to Pakistan, whoever it is, you fuck them up.
Just whip their use.
That's what I'm saying.
There's probably some chance to smack her, move on, fight the next person.
I want to fight McGregor, dude.
Do you?
I want to get my face fucked by McGregor.
I bet in two years you could beat him.
He's only getting older and his whiskey's only getting shittier.
Yeah.
And I'm young and spry.
And he also, I think, it seemed like he might be on a little bit of that dust.
You feel me?
Yeah, that's why he's punching old men.
You see that?
Yeah.
Just punching old men in the night.
Everybody wants to fucking hit an old man.
Everybody wants to hit an elderly person.
I've always said that.
That's an Irish hello, dude.
Walking into a pub, punching a senior citizen.
Because they're wise because they think they're not going to get hit.
Elderly people are always popping off, saying shit, because you can't hit them.
Taking their teeth out and setting them on the counter, bro.
They know what they're doing.
If that ain't a sign of disrespect, I'm going to take part of my body off and set it in front of you.
Put it on the table while you're having a sandwich.
That's a rule.
It's disgusting.
They're asking for it.
I just fear their egos are maybe too big.
Like, their egos are like what it was at 20. Yeah.
You know, and then they never escaped it.
And then their body doesn't move as fast.
Right.
And they think you're getting hit in the head by an MMA.
You're just getting attacked.
But yeah, I wonder if in a couple years you'll have like, if it's all just starting to merge Together, like, yeah, you'll be fighting whoever.
I love the idea of having you two stars from around the globe fight each other.
I think so, too.
Like a death match.
Yeah.
Well, dude, if Trump and Biden are the nominee, like, obviously, Trump is, but if Biden's the nominee, they have talked so much shit about fighting each other.
And they're going to be like, oh, I did see that.
Yeah.
So you wonder, they're going to be standing at podiums debating.
Could this be the first fucking presidential throwdown?
Did y'all see?
Did y'all see the Bernie Sanders and Joe Rogan?
Did you guys see that?
Yeah, I did.
I did.
I did.
Yeah.
Dude, how it was like the greatest.
I mean, it's just like you learn so much about Bernie in a heartbeat.
Yeah.
I think it really changed the whole landscape of what podcasts can be now.
That one interview for me, I was like, holy shit.
Joe does that a lot, though.
Yeah.
But I just never, I don't know if for some reason that one really landed for me.
Yeah.
I was like, what?
Well, yeah, because Bernie's a guy that you got to listen to for a while.
Right.
Yeah.
And everybody usually is.
Unless they're just like some flapjack that's out there just slinging dope little one-liners.
Yeah.
His Tulsi interview was good, too.
Who Tulsi Gabbard?
Yeah, Tulsa.
Tulsi Gabbard.
Tulsa came on.
Tulsi Gabbard from Hawaii.
She was good.
You didn't like it?
Not for you?
Dude, look, man.
She's from Hawaii, so I don't think she should be the president.
Yeah, I say, look, man.
Nobody's because Hawaii is a barbecue pit, and we're not going to elect somebody who knows nothing about the world.
Wait, but hold up.
Hold up.
The Rock.
The Rock.
The Rock is from Hawaii.
And he talks about being the president.
That's true, but if you're living in Hawaii, you're escaping.
You don't know what to do with Detroit.
You're living in Hawaii, you're watching surfers all day.
Yeah, that's you don't know what the hell's going on in Chicago.
You don't have a clean look.
Let's get a question came in here right now from someone.
Let's get this hitter.
It's Kyrie from Rhode Island, and my question is for Theo.
And it's after having both Chris Dahlia and Logan Paul on the pod.
I know there's some beef between the two.
Who do you think takes it in a fist fight?
Kang Gang.
I think there's beef.
I think there's probably, you know, Soy Chorizo.
No, I think you would beat him.
I think if it's fist fighting, I think that Logan would win.
I think if it's tickling somebody from far away with their feet, then Chris would win.
Yeah.
He's lengthy.
Both worthwhile things.
Bro, he can literally, no joke, from right here, fucking put his foot out, bro.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I wouldn't give it to Chris.
I wouldn't give it to Chris right away.
No endangered species on the table, bro.
Put that hitter down.
No, no.
Fuck.
Two bears, a mother and a father.
Him and Jake strangled them both to death and made those shoes.
Don't come after me.
Go after Gucci, Chris.
Go after Gucci.
Gucci's fault.
It's unbelievable the animals that they must be.
Are you and Chris cool now?
Yeah, we are.
Yeah, we are.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That whole period of my life was just like, just pure fuckery.
Like, I've watched some footage of myself at that time.
Do you remember the tweet when I tweeted at Chris?
And I was like, now I know why your comedy career is dying.
And he said, at least when my career dies, you can film it.
I'll put it on YouTube.
Like, grand slam, bro.
He's good at that.
He's great.
He's great.
He's really.
I walked into it.
I'm a moron.
But that whole life, like, man, I hated myself.
Did you, though?
I hated myself.
Wow.
I hated myself that, like, looking back now.
Looking back now.
Yeah.
At the time, I was like, this is dope.
Yeah.
I'm a YouTube star.
Yeah.
And now I'm just like, fuck, just acting out.
Yeah, I think so.
I think I was just lashing.
I was pissed that everyone hated me.
I was like, everyone was pissed at me.
Yeah, you're doing the crazy prank.
Yeah.
Have you ever done one of those where you regretted it?
Like a crazy prank?
Well, obviously the one that we all know about.
You get the one in the forest.
Yeah, right.
That one, which I didn't even think was offensive.
I was like, whatever.
I didn't either.
You don't strike me as a person who found it offensive.
No, me and my friends played with dead people, alive people, people who were in the middle.
We couldn't get, you know.
Why did you?
We just couldn't get any.
We couldn't monetize it.
We're from the generation that can't monetize the sociopathy.
But I wish we...
But have you ever done something where you're like, oh, I shouldn't.
Yeah.
I poured gasoline on my brother.
I tried to pour gasoline on my brother.
He ran away and I slipped in and almost broke my shoulder.
Yeah, see that?
Dude, my boy Todd one time at Halloween drank a fucking half gallon of gasoline, dude.
And no joke, we never fucking saw him again.
Yeah.
And guess what?
Never fucking.
He's probably fine.
Oh, I think he's fine, but I think he's never going to be fully fine.
Right.
You know?
Interesting.
Like, I think he can get a job, but I don't think he can get like promoted.
Yeah.
He's not going to get to the manager of Perkins.
Let's say this, dude.
He's going to be.
He ain't going out on Halloween anymore.
I don't think.
He's staying at home and passing out candy, bro.
So, dude, was he dared to do it or was he one of those guys?
We've been doing some mushrooms, dude, and we fucking hit the gas station.
If you're on mushrooms and there's nowhere to go, do you go to a gas station, bro, and that place is fucking like, And they had a bunch of roaches, a whole fucking swarm of roaches that just hit our area.
And so there was like probably 600 roaches at this gas station.
I love how in your area you take mushrooms, but you realize life is worse.
You don't have that enlightened experience.
Like, let's go to the gas station where we're all going to work in three years.
It's like, what a nightmare.
Hey, let's go to the beach and realize we're all one consciousness.
No, let's go to the mobile and see where exactly we're headed.
Let's see how many soothe rolls we can put in our mouths.
What a nightmare.
It was amazing, man.
It was amazing.
But he didn't seem like the kind of guy who was going to do super great overall anyway.
So in this podcast so far, you've mentioned three friends that have kind of just disappeared.
Why is that a thing in Louisiana?
Like, where are your friends going?
It's an easy place.
I mean, it's a place there's a lot of, you know.
Not Goldman Sachs.
It's not where they're going.
Bro, they're going into the ether, man.
They're part of the mystery.
Yeah, they're falling off the face of the earth.
It's a flat earth.
It is a place that has just a lot of mystery in it.
They all become Netflix documentaries.
Yeah.
Dude, what do you think?
What did you ask him a second ago?
There was something I wanted to talk more about that.
It was a good question.
I forgot.
We were talking about Chris de Leah Beef.
Oh, yeah, Chris D'Elia beef.
Do you, uh...
But Chris DeLee, I think, is more of an online beef person than he is a real human in-life beef person.
He's a nice guy, sweet guy, yeah.
I feel like I'd like to believe that most people are.
I mean, I don't know how many people I got real beef with other than that one kid, right?
You know, the British guy, yeah, the British guy.
Yeah, I mean, where does that come from?
That beef is that just talking shit.
You guys are both online, yeah.
So it was, it started off cool, and then it during the press conferences and shit, it just, it just, he crossed the line, I crossed the line, and it just got super toxic and unhealthy.
And now here we are, we want to fucking rip each other's heads off, and it's dope, it's great, and some of it's kind of healthy, man.
You know, like one of my friends is fighting this weekend in the UFC Poirier against Khabib, the Eagle.
Oh, shit.
Your boy might get rocked, dude.
Yeah, but he's a diamond, bro.
So, you know, he already is, I think, legally a rock.
But yeah, I mean, anybody could win.
You know, they got to fight, right?
I mean, Khabib is a rare specimen.
No, he's not even a human.
It's really crazy watching him.
It's almost like watching one of those things that they put into a scary movie that just goes up the wall.
Yeah.
And his arms go behind like this.
It's very bad.
Bro, he fucking can put both of it.
He can take his arms off, dude, and swallow him and fucking armor.
He's terrifying.
Yeah, he's a terrifying dude.
He's, but anyway, but yeah, you see these guys like, yeah, I want to beat the fuck out of that guy.
And it's like, it's playful, but it's also like, this is what we're doing now.
Do you feel like this is, so this is something you're doing now?
As far as like fighting people?
I think so, man.
I mean, yeah.
Do you think you're going to continue this?
I think so.
Wow.
Like a legitimate?
Nah, I'm going to do MMA.
I wrestled in high school and I was good.
I placed a fifth in Ohio.
So like I see, so a lot of that is there.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
Boxing is a little limiting for me.
Any of the other YouTube guys or social media guys doing stuff like this?
No, and I'll tell you why.
Well, they're bitches.
No, nope.
They're 100 times smarter than me.
Yo, think about it.
I mean, fuck.
Combat sports are dangerous.
They are.
This is not healthy.
Getting hit in the head over and over again.
Right.
What am I some kind of more on?
The answer is yes.
Like, I'd like to believe that everyone else is, it's a combination of they're smarter and it's not worth it.
And they probably don't want to work that hard because it is hard work.
Right.
Right.
You know, I got like something's, some screws are missing.
It's a legit sport.
It's not just beating somebody up.
It's a legit sport.
Yeah.
We have to train.
And you're going to lose, like, do you feel like you're going to kind of create a new fan base with some of this too?
Oh, for sure.
Oh, for sure.
That's why some stuff will change.
Yeah, that's why I do.
I noticed in the last fight, the last fight, after we did it, I was instantly elevated from YouTube star to like whatever the level right below like traditional celebrity and YouTube star.
Like whatever's in between that.
You're a bold face name.
People know who you are.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because you walk in somewhere, it's not like, oh, that's the guy that makes YouTube.
You're just like, oh, shit, this motherfucker knows how to fight.
And it's a different level of respect.
And the fight game is huge.
I love fighting.
I've been watching UFC forever.
It's huge and it's growing.
I mean, it's huge.
And it's growing.
And it's like, what's going to be next?
And this could be it.
You know, seeing people actually get to, you know, talk shit, but also back it up if they want to in the ring.
Maybe, man.
Because the online shit talking is, there's never really been a place for it to culminate.
Yeah, nobody goes and organizes a fight between Rosewell and the Washington Post with blue hats and George Chappelle.
They should be fighting each other in the ring.
That's big business.
Someone's got to do it.
100%.
When you say, like, looking back on yourself, like, and you can watch videos when you're younger, it's kind of crazy that most people don't have that experience, though.
It's like you're one of the few people that can have that experience because so much of you is documented.
So much of who I was was pretending to be at the time.
But we all were.
It's like that's just a phase a lot of us go through in life.
But did you, did you, like when you look back at footage from like five years ago, do you feel like you were a lesser version of yourself?
Oh, yeah, and I loved it, dude.
Okay.
I love being a lesser version of myself.
I've had to be like more, you know, you got to do stuff.
You got to call Nick.
You know, you got to do all kinds of stuff now.
It's more responsibility.
I feel you.
So I liked the lesser version when I didn't have to do that much.
But that's also me a little bit older.
Like if I'm looking back on my teen years and stuff, dude, who the fuck knows what would be on there, bro?
Crazy shit.
Crazy shit.
Yeah, bro.
Anything involving fire?
That you can legally discuss.
Dude, we used to do this thing vagiping where girls would put in an LSD in their vagina, dude.
Yeah.
How'd that work out?
This was a fun school to go.
This is a fun high school.
This high school, people are pregnant at 15. This is a real interesting crop of kids.
You got no heart.
People are drinking gasoline, acid in the vagina.
You got no heart.
These are like problems I didn't even know could be problems.
I'm like, I didn't even know these things could happen.
This is Americana, bro.
You have Vajipin.
It was an old school thing, but I think it's coming back.
Bring it back.
Bring it back.
Do you get fucked up faster?
Yeah.
You get fucked up almost before you can even open your mouth and close it back.
Interesting.
That's quick.
That's way good.
about that.
You put it in and then wow.
That's quick, bro.
Vajippin.
Who named it Vajip?
That's fast acting.
Vagina tripping.
Yeah, a couple of these broads that went hard.
Let's go Vajip.
And then what was that?
Fag boxing?
What do you call it?
Fag fighting?
First of all, it was some of your people who brought the business to town.
People got to make money.
I agree.
People got to make money.
If you're gay in Louisiana, in rural Louisiana, you're going to have to beat the shit out of another gay guy.
You're not designing houses.
You're not an interior designer.
You're going to have to fight.
And you hope that some fans come in who are Vijipping.
Some fan gags that are all Vijipping who think it's great.
I fucking bet $100 on this dude Enrique one time.
He's a very small fucking guy.
I love that.
It's amazing.
Beautiful small guy.
Did Enrique lose or do you think?
He fucking lost, bro.
But it was all kind of set up, and I didn't realize it.
I was at the age where it was all a show.
I didn't realize.
Oh, this was like professional wrestling.
This was all choreographed.
Yes, it was all choreographed.
This is poor gay dudes who couldn't become dancers who had to just beat the shit out of each other in Louisiana.
I mean, it was kind of like, I mean, it was like you could probably promote it one day.
Yeah.
There should be a movie about that.
I want to see the movie about that.
Yeah, bro.
A gay traveling circuit.
Bro, they had these two dudes.
You should be able to wrestle with a bear at a bar.
You used to be able to do that everywhere.
That had bears.
Yeah, you can't do that now.
You can't do that now.
It's dangerous.
Yeah.
Yeah, but it was just like people were more.
You could just go into a bar and wrestle a bear.
You got to give me a million.
He had to pay $10.
And then you could just wrestle a bear.
You could wrestle him for a little bit.
In New York City, there was a really rich guy in the late 1800s.
He kept a bear chained to a stake in his lawn because that was a way to show everyone he was really rich.
I like that.
Because he had a bear.
That's gangster.
He had a big bear chain to a stake.
The thing would hang out on the lawn and people would be like, that guy's no joke.
There's not a better way to flex, you think?
There's not a better way to flex than just having a bear like that.
Yeah, I'm trying to get it.
I still think that's something you should consider.
You've been at all.
Have the nice car.
The house gives a shit.
Crushed the bear, too.
Get a bear.
Get a grizzly and just hang out.
A grizzly?
I have a mastiff, Tibetan mastiff.
Those are great.
Do you have a Tibetan mastiff?
She's biting people, though.
Well, they're vicious animals.
Yeah, I didn't know.
Yeah, I mean, they're vicious.
I think it's sexy when a dog bites somebody.
I like to watch someone get bit, too.
A little bit.
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And now back to your program.
But yeah, it's just crazy that you can look back on your life.
Like nobody else says that same thing where they have to look back because then you're just more likely to judge yourself.
Dude, if 22-year-old me showed up right now, bruh, what would I think?
I'd be like, damn, dude, tighten up, dude.
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, well, you think you're too loose now?
I just don't know.
I just don't know what I would think.
I don't know what I would think.
What did you guys think about the Justin Bieber post?
You see his post about the...
Tom Cruise?
He wants to fight.
Well, he wanted to fight Tom Cruise.
He was talking about the mental health one?
Well, yeah, but first let's talk about Tom Cruise then.
That would be a good fight on that same card.
That would be a good fight.
Cruz Bieber.
I mean, I think Bieber would wipe the floor with them, if I'm being honest, man.
I think so, too.
Tommy's just too old, dude.
Too old and too.
But if you get that old man's strength, though.
And science, bro, if you got Scientology, dude, you could do anything you want.
You could do magic almost.
Yeah, I don't know about that.
Their whole thing's based on magic.
I gotta be.
The whole thing's based on blackmailing gay dudes.
I think that's what it's really based on.
It's going, here's a picture of you kissing a dude.
What's that cost?
$25,000 a month for the rest of your life.
You go, okay, cool.
Whatever.
I'm back now, or whatever it is.
I think that's what it is.
I don't think it's magic.
I think it's cameras.
I feel like Logan gets nervous every time Tim brings up gay people, but he is gay, so he's allowed to say all of them.
Yeah, I'm allowed to say everything I want.
I can say the N-word.
I'm kidding.
I can't say the N-word.
I can say.
I'm dropping.
I can say, look at this, gay.
Hey, are you gay?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, really?
So I can say gay.
Yeah, Logan's very nervous.
No, I mean, look, I've had some controversy.
What'd you do?
Man, this.
Fuck you.
Fuck those bitches.
Don't worry about it.
Well, we are fucking them, and it's not going that well.
Because they always go to the, they always find something homophobic.
You didn't hear this?
I don't not.
I didn't hear it.
Yeah, man.
What happened?
He's like, I killed three gay guys.
He's like, I hate to bring it up.
He's like, I hate to bring it up right now.
In Ohio, me and Jacob, it was funny to tie up three gay guys and light them on fire.
Sorry.
He's like, you didn't hear this?
There was a guy named Matthew Shepard, and it was the first viral video.
No, no, dude.
I said we were going to hook up with dudes in March.
Mail-only March.
You got it?
And I used the verbiage, I said we were going to go gay, right?
Okay, that's funny.
On our podcast, it's the verbiage I use.
And instead of saying, Yo, we're gonna hook up with dudes for March, male-only March.
It was a joke.
We did Sober Vegan January, Fatal February.
The joke was we're gonna do male-only March.
And it was just an out-of-touch joke.
People got mad.
Yeah, people got mad.
Online people did.
Online people, I mean, nobody in the real world cares.
And that's the truth.
That's the thing.
It's an online thing, and there's a real world thing.
Did it affect, you think, the long-term way that people are interacting with you?
Me?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, it didn't affect me.
Like, nobody at 7-Eleven turned around to me and were like, you hear about that fucking mail-only march?
They're going to go gay?
That's ridiculous.
Yeah.
Nobody.
Nobody's cares.
That's the crazy thing.
People are just trying to get their kids medicine.
That's really the real world.
I know we're all in LA.
Nobody cares.
People just want to give their kids medicine when they're sick.
That's literally what people are worried about.
Dude, I don't know if I'd go gay for a whole month, bro.
Dude, I'd do a week first.
You guys seem brave.
A month is a lot.
It's heavy.
Would you do straight for a month, do you think?
Yeah, absolutely.
I would do straight for a decent-sized starter house for the rest of my life.
Like not even like a mill-to little Mediterranean style on a busy corner.
Doesn't even have to be.
No backyard, partially rented out.
Yeah.
Oh, my God, bro.
I mean, listen.
You sound like an easy gift.
I would try it for months.
I mean, I've tried it before.
I tried it a bunch.
It didn't work.
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because, you know, I remember one time I thought I was maybe gay for a little while, but I was just really lonely, I think, and I'd just been masturbating too much.
Yeah.
You're attracted to yourself, essentially.
Is that what you're saying?
I don't know what was going on, dude, but it was just like, I don't know, dude.
Oh, I wasn't meeting any girls, and I was like, oh, fuck, man.
If I'm not meeting any girls, maybe I'm gay and I just don't know what's going on.
Never shut it off.
Like, who knows?
Oh, I'll make it.
When I'm 70 or 80, dude, for sure.
Dude, I'll fuck anybody in here, bro.
For sure.
I'll fuck any of you creeps.
Let's all hope.
That's that Richard Dixon right there, bro.
But yeah, who knows, dude?
I mean, who knows?
But yo, also, like, I'll just say it.
Like, I've kissed dudes before.
I mean, it was an acting class.
You know, not like it was a recreational.
Yeah.
But, like, it was nothing against me.
Do you remember the guy's name or not?
Sean?
I feel like it was Tyler.
Oh, yeah.
That's crazy.
Or is it by the beach, dude?
I would never kiss a guy.
That is Tyler Finland.
He's an acting class.
Are you talking about Tyler from AMAW, the big guy?
I know exactly who you're talking about.
What is Tyler?
He's a famous actor.
No, he's not.
Oh, he's not?
I know another Tyler that's like a guy.
What's Tyler in?
Is he in power?
Did you go there?
Yeah.
I used to be in Tony's class for like.
So that's what I'm saying.
You do scenes.
Oh, yeah.
Sometimes you get handed a guy on guy scene, and you're like, let's be honest, I'm not a fucking pussy.
Relax with this game.
I know you got excited when I said I'd be in the middle of the past.
I'm going to kiss this fucking guy when his arms fall off.
When can I join the class?
Because I want to be.
I want to be in.
Your whole life.
I want to be in power.
Can I be in power?
Will we fuck if I'm in power?
How does it work?
Can I be a prison guard?
I don't even know what power's about.
It's about prison, right?
No?
All right.
Sorry.
Is Tyler just milling around these classes waiting for this scene?
He did it to Gianni.
No, no, no, he has a girlfriend too.
Yeah, no.
I mean, everybody has a girlfriend.
And in any acting or movie, like, I've kissed, dudes, in movies I've done too.
Like, yo.
Dude, the way it is worked, the way Holly was.
Oh, some dude kissed, some dude actually ejaculated on my arm when I was at.
What class was that?
No, it wasn't a class.
I was in a movie theater.
So what happened then?
His girlfriend gave him a hand job and I was too close to him.
You know?
Louisiana.
I was going to say, was this in Louisiana too?
That's wild.
Yeah.
I mean, it's kind of by the interstate a little bit.
Yeah.
Louis theater by the interstate?
Yeah.
That's one of the good stuff.
You wild that out.
Dude, 200 yards off the fucking interstate and you're in a film, bro.
You remember the movie?
Can you name a better town?
Did you remember the movie?
Huh?
Yeah, I remember it.
It was called Pumpkinhead.
It was a scary movie.
Those are the best movies to get handjobs in, though.
Bro, I wasn't getting it, dude.
I was a fucking victim.
No, I know, but the guy, he clearly, he knew something.
Oh, yeah, dude.
It was second hand, bro.
Second hand.
Like, second hand.
What do you do after you just got cummed on in the movie?
I didn't know what was going on, dude.
I thought I was gay for about two months.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Because you have to at that age.
Somebody comes on you in the theater, bro.
It makes you think.
Well, it just makes you scared, I thought.
You're like, was I chosen?
Is this the way it happens?
Is this the way they retreat people?
Do I have a choice?
Can I even look at a woman now?
I have to explain to her what happened.
Oh, it was a tough fucking job.
That shit affected me, bro.
Do you ever, how often do you go back to your hometown now?
I go back a lot, man.
Yeah.
I go back a lot.
I was just on the coast.
I was just in Biloxi this weekend doing a show.
Yeah.
And everybody came to the bottom.
I did that stardome that I saw you were at.
Yeah, pretty cool.
Yeah, it was wild.
It was wild.
Did you ever do a tour?
Did you ever tour again?
No, I want to.
Is it crazy?
Yeah, it's crazy.
I mean, with stand-up, it's like, I feel like it'd be tougher for you, for guys that are, you know, kind of YouTube stars.
I don't know what the best term is, but with boxing, I mean, you could go and sell, and you could fight.
But I'm just saying with YouTube, I think it's different.
At least I have a thing to do.
I was going to say, what the fuck do I do?
You do Q ⁇ A. Yeah, suck my dick.
No.
Did you ever watch the thing Chasing Cameron on Netflix where they like wouldn't?
He didn't watch that.
Nobody watched that.
All those Vine stars would go out and throw water bottles at the crowd.
That's what they did.
I did see that, actually.
Yeah, they jumped around.
They lip synced to songs.
They throw water in the crowd.
So me personally probably would rather die than do that.
Yeah.
Looks good.
I'm on like a cash grab, kind of.
What about the Bieber post?
What do you think about that?
Talking about the mental health one?
Yeah.
I thought it was dope, man.
Anytime a celebrity opens up about vulnerable shit, it's cool.
Yeah.
Pretty cool, I thought.
Yeah, it's cool.
A lot of people relate to it.
And so when an icon can be open, you know, and truthful about himself, it's cool.
Yeah.
100%.
Pretty wild to think.
Yeah, I just couldn't imagine.
Because, you know, it shows people you could have all this stuff.
You could have all the money.
You could have all the fame.
You could be very talented.
You could still not be happy.
You could still have a lot of those problems.
Yeah.
You know, it helps me perspective.
Like, whenever I'm having just a shit day and I'm like one of the worst, you know, sued for like hundreds of thousands of dollars, like hurt myself in boxing in the morning and like sick.
And I'm just like, fuck, nothing's going right.
I'm always like someone, someone somewhere has it so much worse.
Yeah.
You know, lots of people, lots of people.
You know, so like I have it.
Continents have it work.
All of them has it except for it.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm right here.
So entire hemispheres have it worked.
I love how you're like, someone, like, he wakes up wherever he is at Beverly Hills.
He's like, there's got to be someone out there who's having a bad day today, like I'm having a bad day.
There's got to be some other person out here.
Let's go to a guy right here.
We got a guy right here who has a guy's having a worse day.
He's driving a prison bus.
He is, actually.
Let's go to Michael.
Guys, hey, just wondering, you know, with the level of success that you guys have, is it easy to kind of smell the roses sometimes and be actually proud of what you've done and, you know, be really grateful and happy with where you're at?
Or do you think it's always going to be a constant battle of wanting the next best thing and not really taking the time to really think about how cool it is to be in the position you're at?
Feels like sometimes a constant battle of always wanting the next thing.
But yeah, would love to know, guys.
Thanks.
Gang, gang.
Gang gang, bro.
That's a great question, man.
That's a great question.
You always want to do more stuff.
Right?
Well, I think that that is something that happens to people.
I think there are certain types of people that you there's a drive to, I don't know if it's success or achievement or conquering the next thing where it's just a thing in your brain that turns over or it's like, okay, what next do I try and accomplish?
Right.
And it's never changed.
You happen to accomplish things along the way.
Right.
But it's what am I going to do next?
Yeah.
What gets you excited?
That's what I feel.
It's like whatever excites you, like you're excited by this fight.
Yeah.
You want to do this.
This is what you're into right now.
Whatever you're into, it might not be what you're into in six months or a year, but then you got to go find that thing.
Yeah.
And then keep getting excited.
But your brain also, I think some people's brain, some people's, the way they are, is going to find that no matter what.
It's like, it's just in you to find whatever that thing is.
It's the same reason why you found whatever the first thing was that kind of got you going.
It's the fear that keeps you from that, right?
I think a lot of people want to do things.
They don't do them.
They're afraid of doing them or their circumstances prevent them from doing them.
But I think if you get rid of the fear of like, maybe I'll fail at that or maybe that's not going to be what I think it's going to be.
If you get rid of that fear, then you're just open to what is the next thing?
What is the next thing?
Yeah.
It is hard to look back, I think.
It's definitely hard to like stop and kind of smell the roses kind of.
I make myself sometimes.
Like I'll force myself to go on vacation or like I take Sundays off now no matter what.
Wow.
Because otherwise it's just you get caught up in this cycle of just trying to go, go, go, go, go.
And then you fuck yourself.
You shoot yourself in the foot.
Oh, yeah.
Both my feet are fucking full.
That's what I'm saying.
Full of legs.
You're working real hard, Theo.
Too much yoga.
Yeah.
You got to chill.
You got to chill.
That's what I'm saying.
But no, you're a yoga trainer.
It can burn.
I feel like definitely burnout is a real thing.
But a lot of successful people that I know weren't chasing the thing that they have.
Now they loved what they did, and then they get the win.
And that's where their dopamine spike comes in.
And that's what makes them happy.
That's what excites them.
And then, you know, it gets old on to the next.
What else can I do?
What else can I conquer?
So I think it's just you got to find that thing that makes you happy.
And then it's like a compound effect.
If you keep going and going and going, next thing you know, you have all this success.
But this success didn't come overnight.
I've been doing this shit for 15 fucking years.
Yeah.
All of us have.
And there's a price for him.
I mean, his success is real.
You're starting to get more popular.
Yeah.
Tim, would you say that?
Yeah, a little bit.
Yeah, yeah.
Over the last year, it's been good.
It's been a good year.
I've been doing comedy like eight and a half, nine years.
Last year has been really good.
And what do you kind of attribute that to?
I think just having opportunity, more people knowing about you, coming out here more.
I was in New York and I love New York, but coming out here, meeting more people, you know, getting the chance to go and do different things, and then just being funny.
So getting a chance and being funny, getting funny, and then going and getting a chance to be funny in front of people.
Like Bert Kreischer is like, if you just build houses in a neighborhood and nobody sees them, but then you get a chance to build a house in a neighborhood and people are looking at it and they're like, oh, I like that.
I want to build my house.
So I think that's what it is.
It's just sticking with something and then until it matters.
Yeah, once people see that you can do, yeah, sometimes it comes too early for people too.
It's like you haven't really, you don't really have your art down and then you get an opportunity and then everybody sees your art as not.
I mean, we know a ton of dudes that auditioned for SNL when they were 19 or they had a huge opportunity when they're super young and or they got an opportunity and it just didn't work.
They were on a hot show for a year or whatever and now those people live in their cars and they're suicidal and it's all over for them.
Bro, a lot of people.
You know, but they're good to call and be like, God, I'm not them, huh?
You know, that's important to keep them alive.
Someone somewhere.
Yeah, someone somewhere.
That's what I'm saying.
You got to keep them in your phone and be like, for God, you're around.
You're still alive.
All right.
Well, when I first moved here, me and my buddy Paul, we didn't have an apartment yet, so we slept in the ball pit on the McDonald's ball pit over off in the bush.
Yeah, we jumped in there at night.
You're lying.
No, we jump in there at night.
No.
Get in the ball pit because it was safe.
That was the biggest thing.
We tried to stay in a park.
Was it though?
Was it though?
That was like the lowest level of Jeffrey Epstein's Island, sleeping in a McDonald's ballpit.
It's like the poorest pedophile move.
You just sleep in the ball pit.
You know, we take a public bus there.
The third night, bro, me and my buddy Paul are in there just laying.
You would get like under the balls.
The worst part was there's like a lot of hair and loose chains.
You're dead serious, right?
I'm dead serious.
This is amazing.
And the third night we're in there, we're talking just like we have been the past few nights.
Some Asian guy is sleeping on the slide.
Oh my God.
Yo, that's what I'm saying.
He's like, when you buy it down.
Let me ask you a question.
Was there no superhero?
Pure German Asian.
Did no one in the McDonald's care?
It was shut down.
How did you get in?
This one closed early.
You just jumped right over the fence and you're in the ballpit.
And you're in the play area.
Oh, outdoor ballpit.
Indoors, you fucking.
Oh, dude, I never saw an outdoor ballpit in my life.
Yeah.
And also, how the fuck is that safe?
You couple of Rothschilds, huh?
Indoors.
I've never seen animals.
Because, first of all, you're in a place.
No one's going in there.
At what point did you say to yourself, this is not a sustainable course of action?
Oh, dude.
Like, at what point when you're under the balls and you're sleeping in some hair or whatever, you keep your head out of the balls.
That's A real moment.
That's a real moment in your life.
Like one of those moments for me, I was Santa Claus in like Harlem, and I was getting shit on all day by like four-year-old kids.
And you can say black kids.
Yeah, they were.
Well, some of them were Dominican, but they were just roasting me, just shamelessly be none of them were happy to see Santa.
These are hardened little kids.
You're like, fuck you, you fat fuck.
I'm like, I'm Santa, you know?
And I would jingle the bell, and then every now and then, some drunk would like dance with me.
And I was like, this is a rough, I hope comedy works out.
You know?
So that had to be the ball pit moment when your head's out of the balls.
You're like, God, I hope this works out.
I just hated the fact that we were, I just didn't like, there was a traffic.
It was right on Wilshire.
So it was like a lot of traffic.
That was the biggest problem was the traffic.
I was still, I was younger, so I could handle the pressure of it, but it just wasn't my favorite thing.
But fuck, what were we talking about, dude?
Everything since you slept in a ball pit has been erased from my mind.
Oh, speaking of Asians, bro, we got a fucking Asian right here.
Let's hear this beautiful Viet.
Hey, what's up, guys?
So my question is for both you guys.
So if you guys had the chance to have an interview or a podcast with anyone, dead or alive, who would that be?
Fuck, man.
That question always sucks, I feel like.
No offense, man.
Sorry.
I shouldn't have said it.
It's a basic bitch question.
It's just, yeah.
It's a very basic bitch question.
Abraham Lincoln.
You know, Wesley Snipes.
Yeah.
You know, somebody else.
I would say either both of them, either Christopher Hitchens or Patrice O'Neill.
I would say Prince or fucking, I would say actually probably Michael Jackson or Michael Landon.
What would you talk to Michael about?
I would go in on him real hard about just seeing, you know, what, you know, what his sexual preferences were, probably trying to really just chat about it.
And what about Michael Landon?
That's where I'm more perplexed about that.
I love Michael Landon, man.
Okay, interesting.
I did Nikola Tesla.
Oh, wow.
I mean, dude.
He said he could pay.
Do you know?
Because I don't even...
Do you know enough to even interview a guy like that?
I wouldn't even...
He's very tough.
How much do I know about Tesla coils?
Are you going to bring Nikola Tesla back?
You'd be like, dude, the cars?
Dope.
I would be like, hey, I wouldn't know what to say to him.
Hey, why don't you fight Elon Musk on the undercar?
Yeah.
Oh, that's a night.
Oh, you know what?
They said he died a virgin.
I think I'd probably just ask him straight up if he needed some things.
But virgin power is so strong, bro.
Is this virgin?
Oh, dude.
That's crazy.
Somebody parked a Volkswagen rabbit on this guy's leg one time outside of our schoolhouse, and I saw a virgin fucking lift it right off his leg.
Wild.
Yo, wow.
And this was in fucking, who knows when it was.
Every scene is from the movie Powder.
Every scene is amazing.
What are you talking about?
Every scene of your life.
Stories like that?
I've never seen a virgin pick up a car.
Yeah.
They pick up AK-47s now.
That's the problem, bro.
Virgins now are picking up AR-15s.
Hopefully they start picking up cars again.
That would be nice.
They need to start passing out some pussy then, bro.
I agree with you.
Because they're shutting down all the pussy, bro.
That's who's doing it.
That's right.
We got a virgin right here.
Let's hear this, young woman.
This is the furthest thing from a basic bitch question.
What's up, Theo?
This question's for all three of you guys.
You can't leave the room until you form a human centipede.
What's the order going to be?
Oh my God.
Shit.
What are you so common?
What website are you on, man?
These are our fans.
Yeah.
These are people coming in from 8chan to discuss.
It's 4chan now, dude.
Right.
They took 4 away.
You're eating cleanest, so I would probably say you up top.
Yeah, Tai.
Tai.
You're up front.
I got to go in the back because I have the least amount of going on in my career.
That's three of the caboose, dude.
Yeah, I have the least amount going on.
My manager would be like, you're lucky to be there.
Who's ever asked?
They tell you to eat.
Don't start any problems.
You don't eat in the ass, bro.
You're just being there as a receptacle.
That's a human centipede, right?
Yeah, but don't get sexual.
We're there to fucking survive.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm trying to get out of the room.
It's like an escape room.
This guy works at the mall.
This guy works at the mall.
Where do you think he even come up with a question?
She's sitting at the mall all day smelling churros, thinking about what to ask.
The middle person dies quick, though, Theo, I think.
But I'll sacrifice myself just to get out of the fucking situation.
Did you see that movie?
I never saw that movie.
Oh, because why?
Oh, wait, one of them dies quick.
Just like, you know, like biology.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah, you get UTITITY.
YouTube infected.
Yeah, you get a lot of UTIs.
By the way, I saw the movie.
Did you?
I didn't see the movie.
Ah, damn.
Is it brutal?
Great flick.
I want to watch it now.
I might watch it.
Not now, but like tonight or something.
Go to our own respective places.
Back to our neutral corners.
I'm not saying let's just watch a movie for two hours, right?
Back to our neutral corners.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's crazy, man.
Hey, guys, this is The Last Interruption, I promise.
But I got to sweeten the deal for you.
And I'm talking about honey.
Nine times out of 10, shopping online beats going to the store.
It's true.
You go to the store, who knows what could happen.
You might fall down.
Oh, what's happening here?
The lettuce is bad.
Where are all the televisions I want?
So online, you know what you want.
You get it.
They bring it to you.
You at home, you were already ready to enjoy it.
Nine out of ten times, though, you're overpaying online for whatever you're buying.
That's why you need honey.
Honey is a free browser extension that saves you money everywhere you shop online.
That's right.
You just download honey on your computer.
It's there.
Right before you're buying something, honey lets you know if there's a better place and a better rate to get the same item.
Honey finds coupon codes and other discounts across the web and applies them automatically.
I don't know how it works, but honey saves me money where I already shop.
Places I've been shopping forever, suddenly I'm saving money.
Now what I bought using honey, I'll tell you exactly what I bought, a set of skis.
So that's good.
It's a lot.
It's a lot.
It's a great question.
It's a great question from a smart guy.
You called him a woman before.
Yeah, one of you did.
He looks, he looks, that guy has that look.
People don't want to be a man.
Yeah, some people.
Actually, dude, a lot of guys just want to be men.
They're trying their best, man.
So, what is a man?
Like, what's a man?
I think a man is a guy that's trying to just look nice when he leaves the house and do hand sanitizers to him.
Do his best.
He can.
He can if he has it in his truck.
And if he doesn't have a truck, he's not a man.
Gotta have a truck.
I'm not saying that, dude, but I think it helps.
You can't be on a fucking bird scooter for 500 months out of the year.
100%.
Yeah, I agree with you.
You gotta have a cool job.
You can't be like a teacher or something dumb.
No, you could have a man teacher, but you gotta fucking dress still like a man and wear cologne.
I agree with you.
Okay.
If you wear cologne around children, dude, you're a fucking man.
You're the guy.
If you walk through that hallway and it just suffocates people, you're cologne.
You're fucking the Spanish teacher and everybody knows it.
Yeah, I agree.
I agree.
Did you guys ever have any teachers hit on you?
Even after you were out of school?
Especially probably with your success.
Did you have any teachers that kind of reached out?
I hit on the teachers.
That was risky, though.
Because were you successful and in high school at the same time?
No, no.
I was like a good football player.
So I kind of semi-got the pass where I could say some things like, oh, like, you look, I like your hair today.
Yeah.
And she'd be like, yeah, take your seat.
And I'd be like, all right.
All right.
But we know what's up.
Yeah, we know what's happening.
But yo, I mean, who doesn't have that weird fetish where it's like, man, I would love to hook up with one of my teachers.
Like, my biology teacher smoke show.
Yeah.
She was bad.
I did cocaine with a substitute, and that's all.
That's as far as I got.
How old were you?
I was maybe 18, maybe like the year I graduated high school.
We were doing Coke with one of our substitutes.
And was he a homosexual or she?
No, it was a chat.
She was a woman.
Yeah, she was just subs of the inn, dude.
What class?
She was an English sub, so she was an idiot.
Yeah.
So she wasn't smart.
She was probably trying to go out and sniff some Coke and, you know, fuck her way into the lower middle class.
She was fuck her way into a little Levitt house in Long Island.
Good woman.
Good woman.
Oh my God, bro.
You got to play Santa more often, dude.
I would love to watch the small black kids attack.
They just roasted me.
They were brutal.
And here's the other thing.
I wasn't just Santa.
I was selling Obamacare because the thing was that you was a healthcare truck.
Oh, Santa's got a fucking gift.
And you would have to get them with the, they'd be like, oh, there's Santa.
And then you get the kids in.
Then you grab their parents and be like, that's called a bait and switch.
It's a bait and switch big time.
Then you grab their parents and be like, listen, you're going to have a high deductible, but it doesn't matter.
Just declare bankruptcy.
You don't have to give them a fake name anymore.
You know, and you'd have to explain to the kids, you know, like this is a present that you're not going to realize the importance of now.
So it was a dark time.
I had fun with it, though.
You had fun with it.
I was younger.
I was doing comedy.
I was like, my life.
Shitty, your life's been a real piece of shit.
It's been something.
You know, I never slept in a ball pit, but I'm not against it.
Like, I'm not opposed to sleeping in a ball pit.
But still, man.
They were brutal little kids.
Yeah.
Oh, I could see that.
I was in Vietnam one time, and I let a couple of kids cut my hair, right?
I thought it'd be like a fun thing to do, something different for them.
Yeah.
And this one asshole fucking kid, bro, instead of trying to make it look nice, just fucking cut a ball pit.
They're demon little kids.
Yeah.
So that hit me hard.
Nick, let's throw a topic out there.
You got a couple topics, man, and we'll get through this.
Yeah, let's see.
Prince Harry responded to criticism.
He took a private plane four times in 11 days with his family, and people took umbrage with it because he's considered an ambassador for climate change awareness.
He responded back, said, I came here by commercial.
I spent 99% of my life traveling the world by commercial.
Occasionally, there needs to be an opportunity based on a unique circumstance to ensure my family are safe.
And it's genuinely as simple as that.
I mean, I think you're Prince Harry, man.
You could do whatever you want, I think, while you're still the Prince.
Ambassador for climate change awareness even mean.
I don't know what that means.
Somebody that's hoping it's actually real.
What do you show up?
Something about somewhere and you're like, by the way, we gotta, you know, we gotta get these glaciers back in order.
And then you get out of there.
What are you even doing?
To be honest, the article said ambassador for climate change, which sounds like you're trying to make climate change happen.
So I added the.
This is a thing that people, elites have to do now that they have no interest in.
Like if somebody goes to him and goes, you got to get out.
Dude, the planet is falling apart.
You're the ambassador for climate change.
Look at these six seagulls I got on my phone.
Yeah, that's go over there and take a few pictures in Greenland and let everybody know we're doing the right thing.
That's crazy.
Tell the poor people to.
Plus Michigan, they're hoping for a little climate change.
You're telling me we get eight extra degrees in the winter, bro.
Fucking sign me up, dude.
Fuck a penguin, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
Fuck a polar bear.
Who cares?
Yeah, I want to be able to go outside in the yard on Christmas.
Like, that's the thing.
Climate change is going to, it's definitely going to really hurt probably millions.
Right.
But it's also going to.
It's going to help the 48,000 people that live in Michigan.
It's going to restructure the value of real estate.
Around the Great Lakes.
So suddenly the people that have all the inland real estate, they're people like, oh, you live in a shithole, man.
Everything's going to move in because Manhattan and Miami are underwater.
Yeah, frozen or underwater.
You're fucked.
Now who's fucked, bro?
Yeah, Kansas.
Look how rich you are.
Yeah, you can't swim.
They're buying Montana.
A lot of wealthy people are buying stuff in Montana right now.
Yeah.
Huge.
So I'm just saying what goes around comes around, dude.
You can't win them all.
So it's like, you know, you get iced, sometimes you don't.
That's probably our official policy on climate change now with Trump.
I think Trump would be like, sometimes you get iced, sometimes you don't.
Next question.
But first of all, then you have shit like the ice age.
Those fucking little animals are having a blast.
Dude, you see that?
They made a second one.
It's a fun as hell.
They made a second one.
Yeah, everyone's fine.
How fucking bad was it?
How bad could it be?
Yeah, it's a big snow day for a whole age.
Yeah.
Giving Dennis Leary a job.
Yeah, no money.
No shit, huh?
Climate change is keeping a lot of fucking people in business.
I'm with you, dude.
Or non-climate change.
I don't even know which is which anymore.
What else we got, man?
Over the weekend, The Boston Straight Pride Parade actually happened.
About 200 people marched and 600 protesters showed up.
Three dozen people were arrested on various charges, including disorderly conduct.
This is just fun.
People need something to do.
People need stuff to do.
People get mad at these skirmishes in Portland and stuff.
People need to dress up and beat each other up with batons and shields.
This is what it is.
Not everybody's going to build a business or have a family.
Agreed.
Some people need to just let it out.
Let it out.
I love it.
It is what it is.
I'm not even, I mean, just have fun.
Televise it.
Yeah, just write.
Right.
Oh, that'd be like a sick pay-per-view.
Yeah.
And by the way, this is what I would be doing.
Like, I'd be fighting people in the streets.
Yeah.
Like LARPing.
Like, like real LARPing.
That's what they're doing.
That's what I'd be doing if I wasn't doing this.
Right.
There's nothing to do in Ohio.
There's nothing to do.
Oh, you got to do it.
Well, there's more to do than LARP and fight people in the street, I'm sure.
Not that I remember.
Not that I remember.
There's a few businesses.
You can sell cars.
You can have a car dealership in Columbus, Ohio.
Alcoholics Anonymous was started in Akron, dude.
That's huge.
There's a shit to do.
There's the Rock on the Range music festival where all those families go vape together and watch Machine Gun Kelly.
You know, Yellow Wolf.
There's a lot going on.
I saw MGK at your house.
That's true.
Yeah, we love MGK.
We can watch them at MGK.
Yeah, it was great.
I watched, I did comedy there.
No one wanted that.
Really?
They didn't want that.
It's well, I mean, nobody's there for that.
I mean, we were in a tent.
We were in like the comedy tent.
And then MGK and those guys were in the other thing.
We didn't even want to do our.
We're like, can we just go watch the show?
And obviously we had to, we were a tent for people that were like coming, like they would go vomit in the port-a-potty and then come back to our tent to just get their bearings.
Okay.
And then go back.
You were like an ancillary thing.
Yeah, to get back to the main show.
So it wasn't my best.
Like a bathroom.
You guys were almost like a bathroom.
We were absolutely a bathroom.
Yeah.
And I would do it this year.
But it was a fun.
The concert was great.
Yeah.
Straight prop parade.
I don't know if I really.
Why are there straight people marching?
Well, I definitely think that straight men feel kind of attacked.
I think there's a lot of men that feel really attacked, probably, especially by the news and stuff like that.
If you're a straight white, if you're a straight white Christian man, you're definitely a complete piece of shit.
You have no value anymore.
You ruined the world.
I think there's a lot of that kind of just loose energy kind of milling around.
But it's not like an oppressed group.
So politely, fucking suck a dick and go home.
It's not an oppressed group, but I think it's still...
So most people aren't doing it.
That's why only 200 people showed up.
And 600 protesters, by the way.
Yeah, oh, yeah.
And the protesters are the ones that make the whole event.
Like, if they didn't show up, no one would care.
Literally, no one would care.
They have these big marches where four Nazis show up and then 30,000 protesters show up and they're like, we're defending civilization from these four.
And it's just like four fat guys with helmets they taped onto their head with like, you know, like weird white supremacist signs.
And they're being guarded by like 20 police officers to protect their free speech.
And they're like, they just have the signs up.
And then there's like 30,000 lesbians with green hair just throwing rocks at these four guys.
But also trying to steal their outfit.
Yeah, right.
And it's just like, oh, this is civilization.
And they're throwing milkshakes at each other.
Yo, I heard they fill those milkshakes with quick-dry cement.
What is the fuck?
Yeah, they look like milkshakes, and they're really just like hard little cylindrical cement rocks.
The milkshake brings all the boys to the country.
What a fat country that we're having a dessert-themed revolution.
People chucking brownies at each other.
My cousin fucking took a creme brulee to the fucking sternum the other day.
Really?
What happened?
This shit got out of hand.
Yeah.
It's fucking great, though.
Bro, it's definitely.
The creme brulee are so good.
Bro, it's entertaining.
Now, who got them?
Can you say?
It's entertaining, huh?
Can you say it?
A black woman?
Interesting.
Great.
That's what I was picturing before you vocalized it.
I wanted to make sure I wasn't racist.
No, you're not right.
Bro, it's not racist.
If a black person's involved in something, it's not racist.
I agree with you.
Otherwise, the whole NFL would be racist, or the whole everything would be.
I agree.
Why did he say he just popped off?
Shit popped off, dude.
There was two restaurants near each other.
It was a really good addition.
That's the thing.
A little ramekin.
See, that hurts.
Took a ramekin to the sternum.
The sternum, bro.
And that hurts.
You ever been hitting the sternum?
Yeah.
Real hard?
It fucking hurts.
It reminds you of fucking who your parents are suddenly.
Yeah, it's true.
Both of my parents flash before my eyes every time I get fucking punched.
You ever forget in general?
Who your parents are?
Yeah, my dad's been dead a long time.
The other day, people was like, oh, what's up with your dad?
And I was like, where's my dad been?
And then I was like, oh, he deceased.
Where is he?
So sometimes, yeah, I'll miss a frame or two.
What else we got, Nick?
Well, I think we'd be remiss if we let Tim get out of here without letting us know what really happened with Jeffrey Epstein.
You seem to be encyclopedic.
Yeah, I mean, you know.
And you're rich enough where you could get involved in this shit.
Yeah, let's hear what's going on.
We'll never know.
I mean, that's that.
I mean, he was clearly either murdered or allowed to kill himself.
I mean, you have narcoleptic prison guards.
You have malfunctioning cameras.
You have him making a will the day before he died.
You have him being taken off suicide watch 48 hours before he died.
I mean, if you don't believe there's something going on, you're in on it.
Yeah.
That's the way I feel.
Like if you don't believe him buying a sorry I'm dead shirt on Amazon a few days before.
Yeah.
I mean him having dinner last night in West Hollywood.
That was a little suspicious.
Having a dinner party called Welcome Jeffrey to the hood.
That was odd.
His new job at the Disney Channel?
Questionable.
Questionable.
But that's what happened.
You'll never know what happened.
Football season's coming.
No one cares.
People want to watch The Bachelor.
They don't care.
Politicians are having sex with kids on islands.
That's a fact.
And now no one cares.
It's like, doesn't matter anymore.
You talk to somebody in the supermarket.
They're like, that was last week.
I'm like, yo, so politicians are like banging kids on an island.
They're like, get out of it.
It was last week.
I'm over that.
It's just a spectrum, man.
It's just a spectrum, dude.
It is what it is, man.
These people aren't getting so rich so that they can just keep eating steaks.
They want to get involved and shit.
It is true.
They're starting to, you know, they want to fight people from other countries.
Yeah.
You know, that's right.
That's how it starts and it escalates, man.
It's crazy.
I'm just, I'm just, to me, it makes me happy thinking of Bill and Hillary Clinton sitting in their home the day he was killed, whether they knew.
Are you pro-choice or pro-life when it comes to young children having to have sex with rich people?
Here's the thing: I don't think young children should have to have sex with rich people, but I don't want any more comics.
You know what I mean?
So those kids got to do something.
I think you bring back the workhouses.
I think what China's doing right now is very positive with the kids, getting them into working young, teaching the value of the kids.
Oh, and do the balancing on each other?
Yeah, I like all that.
Get the kids in gymnastics.
No, they shouldn't have to fuck Bill Clinton and Alan Dair Schwartz.
Yeah.
Well, you fucking ruined it.
You ruined the episode.
I may feel differently when I get successful, though.
That might be one of those things where when I get really successful, I'm like, what was I thinking?
I was such a loser.
Who knows?
Who would be in the undercard of your ballots?
I want him on now.
Who would he fight, though?
I don't know.
That's a good question.
Let's have it be a woman.
Let's start small.
It needs to be another gay man because we can bring back the gay boxing.
What about a woman who's now a man?
Can I fight a woman who's now identifies as a man?
I think you guys can if you wear matching.
Let me tell you, and I will do that.
Please speak to your people.
I will do that.
Everyone's good with it.
I'm in.
My Asian will be so excited.
They'll be like, how was that podcast?
I'm like, you're never going to believe it.
I'm fighting a trans person at the Staple Center.
You're like, my Asian will be like, thank God.
You're like, me and.
Thank God.
This is a good year.
This is a good year.
Me and Chelsea Handler are about to fucking go to the bottom.
Dude, I would love to hit Chelsea Handler.
She's two arguments away from dropping a set of nuts.
Dude, I saw her on a plane the other day and she just, she looks mean.
Oh, yeah.
She looks so mean.
But why do some rich people get so mean?
I don't know, but she looks super mean, dude.
She looks like somebody would kick a service dog.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's got that energy.
People get lonely and mean, man.
That's what happens, dude.
Money doesn't make everything.
It really just doesn't make everything great, you know?
No, it doesn't.
It helps sometimes.
It helps things, yeah.
What they say, somebody said it helped me make you warm in the winter and cool in the summer.
That's what somebody said.
Right.
That's a poor person saying that.
That's a homeless person's idea of what money is.
You get cool and warm.
It's like, no, there's many other things you got.
That's an insane.
That's like the lowest level of what money can do.
Do you think you get water when you're thirsty and food when you're hungry?
Oh, money.
Oh, man.
You get millions in December.
What about fame?
Let's talk for a minute about fame and then we'll get out of here.
Popularity.
What do you think about it, Logan?
Man, it's deep.
Do you worry about it?
Are there things you see where it could get out of hand?
For sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, we've all seen it.
Like, fame gets to your head, and then all of a sudden, like, these young child actors are doing drugs and partying way too early, and they grow up way too fast, and then they don't know who they are when they're like 22, 23, when you're supposed to be discovering yourself.
So, yeah, I mean, it depends on the person.
Obviously, it's all circumstantial.
But is there a difference between what you do working in an environment where it's a little bit more people get an idea of who you are than just an idea of just a worshiping of an image of someone?
I feel like.
Does that make any sense?
Yeah, yeah.
So my shit's like relatable.
I'm approachable.
What you see on the screen is pretty much what you get in real life.
So people, oh, yo, Logan, what's good?
Like that, I'm up.
I say, what's up?
We joke about whatever.
And that's the new fame.
Like, the old fame is almost creepy.
Like, the old actors who you don't know anything about.
It's kind of creepy, right?
Because it's like, you're so used to like guys like him or you or anybody that is a platform being very open in public.
So when those, like when you have actors that aren't like that, it's kind of strange.
Like that type of like.
You remember seeing everyone's had this experience in LA where you know this actor who's got the most, the bubbliest personality on screen.
Yeah.
And then you say hi to him in real life and they suck.
Yeah, the kid from Sheldon sucks the life out of you.
Yeah, you don't kill them.
They're pieces of shit.
Literal piece of shit.
And I hated Scots.
I was like, yo, what up, Sheldon?
You just stared at me.
And I was like, I'll kick you in the neck.
You know what I mean?
Can you kick people in the neck?
I could try.
I would have to get a training.
A gay guy, you can do a lot more stuff.
And I'm not just saying you're a gay guy.
I know you're a lot of different stuff, but you can, as a gay man, you can kick somebody in the fucking neck and you're kind of okay with it.
I don't think a straight man or, you know, I'm not the type of gay guy to get away with that.
Like, if the Justice Millette hate crime people happened to me, people would be like, oh, good.
Like, if they showed my face, they'd be like, two guys hit him.
They'd be like, good.
No news story.
Well, good.
I'm glad he got hit.
And next.
So it's like, certain gay guys get away with it.
Certain gay guys are like, yeah, go good.
You know?
We need more gay bank robbers and stuff.
Why aren't you?
I always wanted more gay gang leaders.
Yeah.
Like, that's what I wanted.
Gay criminals, gay gangsters.
That's real equality.
Dude, that's what I'm saying, man.
A lot of gay guys are just kind of milling around the outskirts of like real estate and fucking.
I know they're trying to live these like posh lives.
I'm like, get in the games.
Yeah, wear these real motherfuckers.
I don't want a gay dude fucking milking the animals.
No, I don't want putting a Glock in someone's mouth.
I'm just making money.
It's going to happen.
It's going to come.
Good.
Yeah.
I think they're already there, man.
Yeah, they're already there.
We probably just don't know.
Yeah, you don't know.
Oh, that's true.
That's true.
We just don't know there.
There's a lot of dudes in the closet.
Those are a lot of closeted guys.
Yeah, well, Tim, you shit on power.
The lead of the Mexican cartel is gay in the show.
I didn't say, I don't shit on it.
I said it's for people with 75 IQs.
And that is a fact.
It's for a simpler group of people.
It is not for people that demand a lot from entertainment.
It's from people that are like, ooh, that's a gangster, and that's a gangster, and then the gangsters fight.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
But it's a show for retarded people.
It's too dumb.
A lot of adults that drink juice box.
It's a very dumb show.
It's very dumb, and the people who write it are.
It's very simple.
Yeah, I'm a gangster.
We're going to build the empire.
Okay.
Black History Month.
Here we go.
What is it about?
What's it even about, literally?
It's just about these two kids who grew up together.
It's just about, immediately.
It's just about.
You're lowering our expectations.
We already have none.
It's actually about two guys who grew up together and they sell drugs.
Oh my God.
No!
I had no idea.
But the guy who he grew up with, the girl that he was in love with when he was younger, she works for the FBI and they start dating again.
So it's like Homelands.
Civilians and Homeland and everything.
Yeah, but before they did it, this was like 2011 when it started.
Sounds good.
I'll start watching that.
I'll start watching that in the break room with Arby's with the rest of the crew.
Bro, I want to say this, man.
One of the...
Who is it, though?
It's my manager.
I think he heard that fighting a trans person.
He's very excited.
Dude, if he knows it's your manager, he doesn't even have the number saved, by the way.
No, he's just in New York City.
I'm going to fire him soon.
He's not getting his numbers in.
Dude, if you're manager, he does nothing.
If he has time to call you during the day, dude, he's obviously fucking not that busy.
No, he does nothing.
He'll call me.
Oh, it's crazy, man.
He'll call me from vacation and start talking about his vacation.
I'm like, can you get me a fucking job, please?
Yeah.
He just goes, it's great.
That's all he goes.
He goes, great.
It's great.
I'll talk to him.
I go, it's great.
I go, well, what does it like Common Sedge will think?
He goes, they don't want anything to do with it.
But he goes, it's great.
I think it's great.
It's like, all right, thanks.
Why is he talking like he playing hide and go seek?
He's the last manager from the 90s.
He wears like white pants.
He has like me, Colin Quinn.
He has good people.
He's just out of it.
Like, he has no idea.
He didn't know Rogan was like a popular podcast.
He's like, he's like, out of it.
Check it out.
Do you think going back to like the fame and the Hollywood fame and about popularity from YouTube?
It's almost like they're two different things a little bit.
For sure.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, YouTube is weird because the drug that you get from getting views and likes and subscribers and followers is it reaffirms everything that you're doing.
And so, you know, whether you're on the right path or not, you're going to keep doing the same shit as long as people are following.
Whereas Hollywood, technically, you're employed, you know?
So take Tom Holland, for example.
Before he became Spider-Man, there was a team around him watching everything he did, monitoring every move that he'd made just to make sure he didn't have any missteps.
Because now he's in the Marvel universe and you cannot fuck up.
Right.
You have to be, yeah, you have to be pristine.
You can't, at that point, probably have opinions.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
You can't have any opinions.
Your opinions have to be very bland.
They have to be like, climate change is bad.
And then they'd shove you in a limo.
Ham and cheese.
Yeah.
Peanut butter.
Kids should be able to breathe.
Good night.
And you're like, okay, this guy is great.
But that kind of stuff feels like it's gotten so cornered that it's just like, it can't survive anymore.
I feel like people want, there's some people that still watch it.
Trump ruined that because Trump came out and he said whatever the hell he wanted.
And there was something paradigm shifting about that.
It was intoxicating.
You were watching him and you're like, here's a guy saying whatever he wants on the national stage in front of everybody.
How can we go back to scripted fake crap?
How can you go back to an interview show where a host is like, so what are you doing?
And the celebrity is like, well, I'm the host is like, tell us about that time when you were in a school play and you fell down.
It's like, no, talk about something real.
Yeah.
Because the president is going off the dome.
So you need to do that too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It almost has challenged entertainment in a way.
And I think entertainment hasn't really responded, like mainstream entertainment hasn't really responded that well because they just seem to keep playing some of the same old fucking like, I don't know.
Yeah, they're doubling down.
They're remaking old shows.
Comedy Central is like, we're remaking Bonanza.
It's like, this is not the move, guys.
It's not the move, you know?
Yeah, it's hard because he can do something in his house that gets more views and more attention and more engagement than things that they're putting millions and millions of dollars into.
It's weird to see.
It must terrify them, dude.
It's got to be terrifying.
To them.
Yeah, to them.
But then also, but yeah, there's a relatability.
Like, I like the fact that people that come out to my shows and stuff, I feel like they're the type of people that I would like to meet anyway, probably be okay with meeting because they tune in for some reason because they are into the same kind of stuff I'm in or think so.
It's a much better connection, man.
Yeah.
You have a much deeper connection with your fan than a movie star does.
Except for that black guy from Britain, dude.
What's that guy's name?
K.R.1?
Fuck.
KR-1.
Yeah, fuck it.
Fuck this fucking guy.
Jesus Christ.
That's going to be a crazy.
So, Staple Center, what date?
November 9th.
Can you jump off the ropes or it's only punching?
I can do whatever I want.
Yeah.
I can do whatever I want.
He hit me after the bell last time.
Did he?
Oh, I'm going to get fucking dirty.
Oh, get a louder bell, too.
A louder bell.
Get a louder bell too.
So everybody's.
Yeah, because he might have been confused.
He was probably watching power.
He got confused.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
Yeah, yeah.
Nick, you got anything?
That's it for me.
Yeah.
Check out Tim's podcast.
Yeah.
Tim Dylan Show.
Thanks.
So funny, Tim.
Thanks for joining us.
Yeah, thanks for having me, dude.
Yeah, I appreciate it.
Good to have you.
Thank you, buddy.
Thank you, guys.
I know you were sick, man.
And, dude, I'll fight somebody sometime.
Maybe not on this undercar, but a future one.
Yeah, you could do it.
Yeah, I want to train and fight someone now.
I feel like we all need to fight people.
I really believe that's the only way to really...
I love it.
I think it's a good idea.
Who should I fight, you think?
Chris.
Chris Dalia?
Yeah.
Maybe Chris.
I could be Crystalia if I'm allowed to jump up and also punch at the same time.
Yeah, you'll be allowed, dude.
Oh, yeah.
Do MMA.
I'll do some MAMP.
You got it.
You're allowed, dude.
And you could fight somebody too.
Dorothy, I know this lady.
I'll fuck her up.
I don't know, dude.
I'll take some pictures of her as soon as we get off.
I'll fight that guy.
Who's the guy?
Frederick Douglass.
Crip Daddy.
He's in the wheelchair on Twitter.
I'll fight him.
I like him.
He's very fun.
Is he?
Yeah, he's great.
I'll fight him.
All right.
Here you go.
All right.
Now I'm just floating on the breeze.
And I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
I must be cornerstone.
Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mind I found I can feel it in my bones.
But it's gonna take a little time for me to set that parking break and let myself all mine shine that light on me.
I'll sit and tell you my stories shine on me.
And I will find a song I will stay here just for me too fast on the runaway train with a heavy load of my hands Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
The answer may shock you.
Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
Sometimes I won't.
And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
You have three new voice messages.
A lot of people are talking about kite club.
I've been talking about kite club for so long, longer than anybody else.
So great.
Hi, Suiar.
Is it there?
Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
Jamain.
I'll take a quarter powder with cheese and a McFlurry.
Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.
Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
Second rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube, yeah?
