"Covid Operations: Phase I" kicks off with a darkly comedic AI-generated spoof of co-host Liz trapped in a surreal bunker, only for the digital Liz to dismiss COVID-19 as a mild cough—until the host pivots to viral footage of packed National Mall crowds, warning of impending lockdowns worse than Italy’s but not Wuhan-level. The episode blends satire with grim predictions, contrasting early pandemic compliance with today’s reckless gatherings while missing their usual underground studio setup. [Automatically generated summary]
So I don't really know how to tell our fans this right now, but Liz is in jail The other day, that's a recording I have of her laughter to make me feel better that I play.
I usually fall asleep to it, but I'm wide awake right now.
Liz had her, she was staying in the Chuanon Ultra bunker 500 feet below the Oakland Hills, surrounded by oiled and mustly catamites.
Well, not catamites, they're eunuchs technically, but they're younger, which also makes them kind of catamites.
With Pikemen as well.
And unfortunately, there were no match.
The California National Guard, Silicon Valley Division, burst through the steel door of the bunker, a full hazmat suit, while Liz was in the lotus position doing a four-hour yoga workout she does every day.
And unfortunately, they cuffed her and she's in jail.
This is fake news.
It's not true.
Well, so you hear her voice right now.
That's actually an AI facsimile of my dear co-host that I have spent the last year perfecting.
So AI Liz, how are you doing?
I'm fine.
I'm not in jail.
Okay.
We could break the bit.
It was very cute, though.
You just wanted an excuse to say catamites.
Yes.
I like saying that word.
I'm okay.
How are you doing?
I'm all right.
I'll tell you what.
I got bored yesterday for the first time since this started.
Yeah.
I am not feeling so great today, actually.
Physically?
Yeah.
I'm like a little, but then I don't know like what I'm like, is in my noodle brain playing up or what is like serious, but I think I'm okay.
Well, you went to the grocery store recently, right?
I did.
And now I'm like, I have regretsies.
Yeah, but I mean, that wasn't that long ago, I feel like.
So I'm not so sure that those symptoms would be.
I know, I know, I know.
I just, you know, you get in your head and then you kind of like start spinning out.
It's like, I feel like 18 times since this started, I've convinced myself that I'm sick.
You're not.
It's funny.
I developed like a dry cough.
And then I just realized it's because I smoke constantly, probably.
Or I have Corona.
I don't know, but I don't think I do.
I don't think you do.
Yeah.
Well, it's funny.
I walked to, as I'm sure our tin-eared listeners can hear by the crystalline quality of my voice, I am at our producer's basement apartment right now.
Also 500 feet underground.
I miss it over there.
It's nice.
You know, I'm looking at the spot where you usually sit and there's like a little divot, you know?
And I'm like, oh my God, that's where she, when she was alive, she sat there.
Alive girl.
Alive girl.
She was a live girl.
She said that, but I walked here today and it seems like for a lot of people that they because I walked around yesterday and the day before too.
Like very, I walked, went to, to very deserted places.
I didn't go like the main thoroughfares, but I walked by a main thoroughfare and the other day there was basically no one on it.
And then today, as I walked here, it's about an hour walk, there was just a shit ton of people out.
I think a lot of people just stopped caring.
Yeah.
Oh, that's not good.
That's a lot of people are saying that like across the country.
Like you've seen, there's like some, you know, viral posts on social media.
So I don't know why I sound like I'm 85 whenever I take it.
There's some viral posts on social media.
But it's like showing crowds.
There's like all the people at the National Mall or, you know, like walking around New York City or you hear like stories about kids just like drinking in the park.
And it's like, no, you guys, you can't do any of this.
Like, it's, and it's only just going to lead to cities having to take like more drastic measures.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, that's coming.
I think, I think that's coming everywhere.
I think they're trying out this like bullshit, like fake lockdown right now.
And then once this like obviously doesn't work, because just like a third of the people don't do it at all.
And then like another third kind of like half does it.
I think that it's going to get more into like Italy or Wuhan territory.