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Aug. 13, 2025 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
03:30
Rules for Thee, but Not for Me...
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That will never work.
That will only breed resentment.
And I think that's why you have a fundamental hesitation about getting the ring because you both have to do the right thing.
And you know that as Catholics, right?
That there's no asterisk for males or females.
And your concern is that she's giving herself a permission for bad behavior that she would absolutely deny in you.
And the reason you're cautious about that is you can fight back.
Your kids won't be able to.
In other words, if your Russian girlfriend ends up with this moodiness and this aggression and this rules for thee, but not for me, how's that going to affect her capacity to be a good mother?
Yeah.
Yeah, no, I think you're completely right.
Because your kids don't care how hot she is.
They care what a good mother she is.
Right, right.
Right.
And that is another thing that's kind of been a fear of mine is how would that look like for my kids?
Because I'm committed to peaceful parenting and, you know, I wouldn't want to bring a kid into the world under a situation where, you know, I don't know, there was instability as far as the mother's emotions and how that would affect their upbringing.
Yeah, does she get to yell at the kids when she's PMSing and cause them to have a difficult week?
Well, I would say not.
So look, she's 23 years old.
So I assume, at least I feel this way, that it's important to have some patience because we're all raised.
Most of us are raised badly, and the schools are terrible at explaining this stuff and all of that.
So I hope that you would have some patience.
I'm sure you would.
And just sit down with her and say, okay, so we're having these conflicts.
How are we going to resolve them?
By what principles are we going to resolve them?
And they have to be rational and objective principles.
Like you can't deal with religious conflict, you know, the Protestants versus the Zwinglians versus the Calvinists versus the Lutherans versus the Catholics, because there's no objective, rational metric in particular, if you don't accept the authority of the Pope.
Of course, as Protestants wouldn't.
So the way that we resolve disputes about the physical universe is not through religion, but through science.
Because science is more rational and objective in that way.
And this is nothing negative towards religion.
Of course, it provides great spiritual comfort to many people.
But with regards to these things, we have to look for facts.
In an adjudication of a criminal case or a civil case, we look for facts.
There's discovery, there's evidence, there's cross-examining witnesses, there's no hearsay, there's chain of custody, all kinds of funky stuff to try and get to the truth as objectively and universally as possible.
So if she's crabby and she says, well, you know, you've got to buy me presents because it's the only way I feel loved.
It's like, okay, so do we get to have the other person do what we want if we feel bad if they don't?
Like if I really want to have sex and you don't want to have sex, what should happen?
Well, we shouldn't have sex.
And that's totally true.
If the woman doesn't want to have sex or the man doesn't want to have sex, you shouldn't have sex because otherwise just building resentment.
So, okay, so there's a principle, right?
And the principle is like, if I don't feel like going to work, let's say you're home with the kids and I'm paying all the bills and I don't feel like going to work, do I have to go to work?
Well, yeah, you can't just not go to work if you don't feel like it.
So you have to go to work because you have responsibilities.
Like, okay, so there are some things that I have to do, even if I don't want to do them.
Hormones are not an excuse, but we shouldn't bully the other person to do what we like at their expense, right?
Well, you should want to buy me a gift.
And it's like, but the should means that I don't want to.
Like, if I, if I'm, you know, we're married and I'm saying, well, you should want to have sex with me.
Does that make you all kinds of turned on?
Well, no, it doesn't.
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