| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Reasonable Rules Engagement
00:04:43
|
|
| Now, do you guys have good rules or reasonable rules for conflict? | |
| Like no yelling, no race, no intimidation, no name-calling? | |
| Do you have those kind of rules of engagement? | |
| Look at me getting all military in my language here. | |
| Do you have those basic Geneva Convention rules of engagement in your marriage? | |
| Yeah, we don't yell at each other, and we can have debates, and he hears me out, and I feel respected in those debates, but ultimately he does get the final say if it comes down to disagreement that lasts a bit long in the conversation. | |
| And I assume you guys are Christians, is that where that's coming from? | |
| Yes. | |
| Okay. | |
| All right. | |
| So I'm not obviously going to try and dislodge any of that. | |
| That's the core of your marriage, the core of your faith, and the foundation of your relationship. | |
| I'm not going to poke at anything to do with that. | |
| So it sounds to me, this is where I get all female and intuitive. | |
| So forgive me if I get things completely biased backwards. | |
| I could be talking out of my armpit and going entirely in the wrong direction. | |
| So forgive me if I do and put me straight if I do that. | |
| But it sounds to me like Bro is kind of pissed that the house is a mess. | |
| And he views that as you failing at your job and he's punishing you by sending you back to work. | |
| And what he really wants is a clean and well-run household. | |
| But because he's not getting that, he's kind of angry. | |
| He doesn't know how to get it. | |
| So he's going to be like, fine, well, you just have to go back to work then. | |
| It's almost like a going to the brick or, you know, some sort of punishment. | |
| You're being put on potato peeling duty because you talked back or something like that, or you didn't make your bed so tight that you could bounce a quarter off it. | |
| So it sounds like he's sort of maybe a little rigid, maybe a little focused on appearance. | |
| And because you're not doing a good job at the home, he's firing you by kicking you upstairs into a job. | |
| And I think that that's a bit of a power play. | |
| And I think that comes from his anger, which is then going to generate your anger at feeling bullied. | |
| Does that make any? | |
| This is obviously completely intuitive. | |
| So I could be totally wrong. | |
| Yeah, that could be a big part of it. | |
| I'd say that might be 80%. | |
| And then there's, I mean, I guess to make a case for both of us, which isn't going to be a good one, and just, but let me. | |
| Make it away. | |
| If I don't do this job, they're probably going to hire a worse woman for it. | |
| And no, no, no, no, no. | |
| I'm sorry. | |
| I just felt parts, a significant portion of my brain liquefy in my skull. | |
| I know. | |
| Are you saying that if you don't do the job for the government, they're going to hire someone worse to do it? | |
| Well, it's half a joke. | |
| I'm so sorry to keep interrupting you. | |
| I just, I have to deliquefy this part of my brain or I'm just going to slosh around like a bag of tomato soup for the rest of the day. | |
| So the principle is you can't quit on a job because they're going to have somebody worse do it. | |
| Well, how about the job called motherhood? | |
| You're quitting on that job and having somebody worse do it, which is a daycare worker. | |
| Isn't that a slightly more important job than whatever email nonsense you're doing for the government? | |
| Yes. | |
| So that principle makes no sense at all. | |
| Well, I have to have you dump her kid in daycare because we can't have other people doing a worse job. | |
| I mean, I have to exhaust all the silly things. | |
| If he listens to this, he has, you know, all of the things have to be knocked down. | |
| And he's welcome to call, of course, as well. | |
| I'd be happy to chat with him, but go ahead. | |
| I mean, I don't know what other silly things I could knock down. | |
| I am qualified to do this job. | |
| I'm good for the position. | |
| Probably not the best, but the likelihood that they'll find someone else who's better at this specific thing is not very high. | |
| And I don't know if it's worth the cost. | |
| You know, when the government gets more efficient, people's liberties tend to diminish, right? | |
| The inefficient government is often the only chance we have for freedom. | |
| So the fact that they might replace you with somebody less competent in a government job, it seems a big plus to me. | |
| But anyway, go ahead. | |
| Yeah. | |
| All right. | |
| Okay, so that's your 80% is he just is firing you for being a bad housekeeper and kicking you into a job. | |
| Maybe 10% is this, well, we can't have a worse person doing your job, ignoring the whole daycare situation. | |
| What else have we got? | |