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July 12, 2025 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
04:43
Do You Have Good Rules for Conflict in Your Marriage?
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Now, do you guys have good rules or reasonable rules for conflict?
Like no yelling, no race, no intimidation, no name-calling?
Do you have those kind of rules of engagement?
Look at me getting all military in my language here.
Do you have those basic Geneva Convention rules of engagement in your marriage?
Yeah, we don't yell at each other, and we can have debates, and he hears me out, and I feel respected in those debates, but ultimately he does get the final say if it comes down to disagreement that lasts a bit long in the conversation.
And I assume you guys are Christians, is that where that's coming from?
Yes.
Okay.
All right.
So I'm not obviously going to try and dislodge any of that.
That's the core of your marriage, the core of your faith, and the foundation of your relationship.
I'm not going to poke at anything to do with that.
So it sounds to me, this is where I get all female and intuitive.
So forgive me if I get things completely biased backwards.
I could be talking out of my armpit and going entirely in the wrong direction.
So forgive me if I do and put me straight if I do that.
But it sounds to me like Bro is kind of pissed that the house is a mess.
And he views that as you failing at your job and he's punishing you by sending you back to work.
And what he really wants is a clean and well-run household.
But because he's not getting that, he's kind of angry.
He doesn't know how to get it.
So he's going to be like, fine, well, you just have to go back to work then.
It's almost like a going to the brick or, you know, some sort of punishment.
You're being put on potato peeling duty because you talked back or something like that, or you didn't make your bed so tight that you could bounce a quarter off it.
So it sounds like he's sort of maybe a little rigid, maybe a little focused on appearance.
And because you're not doing a good job at the home, he's firing you by kicking you upstairs into a job.
And I think that that's a bit of a power play.
And I think that comes from his anger, which is then going to generate your anger at feeling bullied.
Does that make any?
This is obviously completely intuitive.
So I could be totally wrong.
Yeah, that could be a big part of it.
I'd say that might be 80%.
And then there's, I mean, I guess to make a case for both of us, which isn't going to be a good one, and just, but let me.
Make it away.
If I don't do this job, they're probably going to hire a worse woman for it.
And no, no, no, no, no.
I'm sorry.
I just felt parts, a significant portion of my brain liquefy in my skull.
I know.
Are you saying that if you don't do the job for the government, they're going to hire someone worse to do it?
Well, it's half a joke.
I'm so sorry to keep interrupting you.
I just, I have to deliquefy this part of my brain or I'm just going to slosh around like a bag of tomato soup for the rest of the day.
So the principle is you can't quit on a job because they're going to have somebody worse do it.
Well, how about the job called motherhood?
You're quitting on that job and having somebody worse do it, which is a daycare worker.
Isn't that a slightly more important job than whatever email nonsense you're doing for the government?
Yes.
So that principle makes no sense at all.
Well, I have to have you dump her kid in daycare because we can't have other people doing a worse job.
I mean, I have to exhaust all the silly things.
If he listens to this, he has, you know, all of the things have to be knocked down.
And he's welcome to call, of course, as well.
I'd be happy to chat with him, but go ahead.
I mean, I don't know what other silly things I could knock down.
I am qualified to do this job.
I'm good for the position.
Probably not the best, but the likelihood that they'll find someone else who's better at this specific thing is not very high.
And I don't know if it's worth the cost.
You know, when the government gets more efficient, people's liberties tend to diminish, right?
The inefficient government is often the only chance we have for freedom.
So the fact that they might replace you with somebody less competent in a government job, it seems a big plus to me.
But anyway, go ahead.
Yeah.
All right.
Okay, so that's your 80% is he just is firing you for being a bad housekeeper and kicking you into a job.
Maybe 10% is this, well, we can't have a worse person doing your job, ignoring the whole daycare situation.
What else have we got?
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