All Episodes
Previous Next
April 15, 2020 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
34:51
STEFAN MOLYNEUX vs DEMON HORDES! DOOM ETERNAL PART 12!
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Alright, are we here?
Yes, I believe we are.
How are you guys doing, my good, good friends?
We are coming alive.
As never before, I am totally playing hooky.
There's a lot that I need to do for my show.
Am I doing it? Well, not exactly.
Alright, let's see if we are chugging along here.
Yes, we are.
Welcome, welcome. Hope you guys are doing well.
I've got just a little bit of time.
I'm chatting with a bunch of university students tonight on a faraway land.
And, you know, theoretically, I really should have been...
Theoretically, I really should be working on a short version of the case against China.
But I'm not. I'm just going to play hooky because I kind of feel like it, you know, when you've got things to do.
And you just don't feel like doing them?
I've got a couple hours of doing a lecture to university students tonight.
Steph, what should we do about Corona?
Stop subsidizing communists in your own societies.
Alright. Hello, welcome my friends.
Rip and tear until it is done.
What are you playing Doom on, Steph?
This is actually an Etch-A-Sketch, which is kind of cool.
I don't know if you guys know about those, but they are quite famous.
The best case against China is China.
Yeah, no kidding, eh? Now, I'm doomed here, right?
I'm starting with a cozy...
40 health, right?
What have I got here? So I'm just going through my own lower intestine at nine cozy health points.
We will get a bit more health here from these dudes.
Oh. Oh my gosh!
Let me get my concentration on.
You know, I just have a little bit of warm-up here.
A little bit of warm-up. Now, a more sensible person would probably be much more likely to go back and try and get some health and ammo.
Am I that more sensible person?
I'm telling you, I'm not sure that I am.
Alright. Alright, let's see if we can get through here.
We will get this soup thing.
Oh, that helps a lot. Ooh, we'll get a little health there.
We'll go up here. And now we are in...
Oh, we are basically in the effluent from...
I should go back and play Doom 3.
Oh, my gosh, sorry. Here I am, all chatting away.
Oh. And now we have a certain amount of difficulty going on here because...
Oh, there's my ammo. Things do not go well if you do not have the ammo.
and I am...
Oh my gosh.
This is some fine quality playing we got going on here.
Okay, I'm sorry. My mouse settings are insane.
It's like... My mouse settings have like triple espressos going on here.
So hang on a sec. I'm going to take the mouse sensitivity down.
I'm getting whiplash just thinking about it.
All right. Let's see.
How's that? A little better? Yeah, that's a little better.
All right. Hey, that reminds me of the old Billy Joel song.
In the river of the...
River of the dream.
River of dreams. Alright.
River of lava. Dreams.
Nightmare. Death. Alright.
Okay. So we've got jumping puzzles here, I assume.
Yeah. So we've got to go here.
And we're going back in here.
Hey, we've been here before, right?
Oh. Chain gun.
What should we do? Set fire to them.
Oh! Bad sing.
Don't take up singing as a new career, please.
Don't worry, it's not going to happen.
Alright. Alright.
Get ourselves some ammo.
Get some health from this dude.
There we go. Alright.
We're getting warmed up a little here, right?
How is the video, by the way, looking?
Is it alright? What did you have for dinner?
I had a little bit of chicken and some lovely salad.
thank you very much all rights all right so we got things going in here What the? Hey, stop with your warping.
That's totally like cheating. Alright.
Oh, we got lots of dudes going on here.
Oh.
Alright, so here is where you get to see my delightful running away aspect of the game.
Which is never to be underestimated.
Alright, looks like we're going to be running away again.
Is there any place to run to?
Yes, we will run to the place where we get ourselves some health and whatever this thing is.
Blue Skull of Doom. Oh.
Oh, I really should have got some health from that dude, right?
Not the ammo. Alright, so now we'll hide here.
here.
Ooh.
Now we won't hide here, I guess.
Oh, and we'll take that health.
Take that ammo.
Could have used a little more health, but we'll survive.
We will run away from there.
And we will toss our bombs and run, much like the U.S. Army when facing a superior foe.
All right. I shouldn't say the U.S. Army.
I mean, who wouldn't want to do that now?
Okay.
Whoa.
All right.
Plunky plunk.
And now insufficient fuel.
Alright, I'll just take the health then.
Fast travel unlocked.
Use the auto map.
Yes, we could. Health?
What's that? Oh, the top thing is my suit now, okay.
If it's near ambush, you charge.
All right. I will take that under advisement.
All right. Have we got everything in here?
I think we have, right? You would never have expected me to stream games like Doom.
So, you know, I mean, I am a man of different interests.
Here's the thing. Like, I was going to play this anyway.
And I thought, why not, since I know that you guys like to game, a lot of you, and I like to game, although I haven't really done much of it since I've become a dad, but I do like to game.
And I thought, why not share it with the community?
Do you live in a conservative writing?
I live in Canada, so I think the answer to that would be pretty much no.
All right, so now I've got some new thing to get.
Uh... That is, I'm telling you guys, this is like dystopian art of the first degree.
Oh man, look at that.
That's the average...
That's the average...
Should I say the joke?
I should probably not. Should I? The average SD test for your average post-millennial?
Alright. Now, where am I supposed to go?
Follow the green, people say.
They always remind me to follow the green.
Which I thought was just money, but no.
Where am I supposed to go from here?
Down? No, can't go down.
How about across? This looks all too familiar.
All right. We'll find something new.
Jump! Yeah, thanks, brother.
Super helpful. Millennial loins, yeah.
Mummy? You guys want to hear a poem I wrote about my mother once?
I fell out of the hole that was my mother, and then I fell into the hole that was my mother.
Because, you know, she lacks a personality.
Alright, so what have we got here?
Ooh. Now it did that already.
I'm just wandering around stuff I already did, right?
Isn't it nice to see that the Who might be defunded?
And I'm not just talking...
See, China defunded the Who a long time ago by pirating their CDs.
Boom! That's what I call some quality Roger Dalfrey humor.
Where am I supposed to go in here?
Usually there's a...
Didn't something open?
Well, no, not really. Oh, am I supposed to go in here?
I don't think so. No, I can't go in here yet.
There's something else that I have to do, right?
Have I got all three of these?
No, see, I'm missing...
I do have this one. Jeez, I thought there was going to be another one.
Is this the Clinton basement?
No, because we're armed.
This air shaft will provide access to the generator's control terminal.
Ah! Alright.
I'm not nervous. This game is not making me nervous.
No, so you end up in the Clinton Podesta basements when you're like a 13-year-old girl and you're not armed.
The idea that they would let someone in who's well-armed?
Well, it's not much point being evil.
Because it ain't so much fun when the rabbit's got a gun, right?
All right. 80% of China's factories are closed because nobody is buying their goods.
Yeah, well, you know how communism ends?
Communism ends when you run out of money.
It's very rarely overthrown because they are absolutely brutal on human beings, right?
You can now use the main console to destroy the heart.
I don't want to destroy the heart.
They're a pretty good AT's female rock band.
Alright, what have we got here? Oh yeah, let's go this way.
That is, uh...
That is a close-up of a coronavirus heart if ever I've seen one, man.
Alright. How did you end up being born in Athlone?
Well, uh, proximity to my mother's vagina.
Uh, right. Serious as a heart attack, man.
And Sirius is a heart attack.
Ugh.
Uh, excellent.
Okay. Where's my exit portal?
Oh, great. Now I've got to run away to get out, right?
Uh, oh.
That I would love to do.
I would truly be appreciative of doing that.
Uh... Sorry, no time to get health.
Wait, do I have time to get health?
Oh, no, I went the wrong way, didn't I? I'm never getting out of here alive, am I? Oh, locked.
Locked! What are you giving me locked stuff for?
Alright, I guess it is this way.
Is it? Uh, down here?
No. Somewhere along here?
No. Somewhere up here?
No. Yeah, oh, there it is.
Uh, okay, how do I get up there?
Ah! Alright, so, excellent.
Uh, that's super great.
Um... Yeah, I'm doomed, right?
Wait, I've got 36 minutes.
What are you getting me for here? Now I'm in a Depeche Mode song.
Should we just die? Yeah, so I've got to get out, but at the same time...
So you're out of bubblegum?
I'm out of bubblegum, and as you can see, perfectly out of arguments.
Where was the exit portal here?
There? Then what?
Over here? Alright, so it's somewhere up here, right?
Now, this is what I don't know.
Oh, there we go. Geez. Always forgetting with the climbing walls, right?
Uh, now what? Uh...
Here?
This way? This is gonna drive everyone completely batty, right?
Nah, wrong way.
Wrong way! Wrong way! Uh, oh yeah, okay, I gotta go to the climbing wall.
But I'm a little doomed here, right?
There we go. Ooh, don't worry, I'm sure this dude will help me out probably, no problem.
Uh, yes, I agree it will.
Yeah, bye bye. Unfortunately I have dudes who do not want me to leave, right?
Yeah, can't see. Go forward, that always helps.
You guys are beyond helpful.
You are far beyond helpful.
Actually, you've gone right around the other way to being not helpful at all.
Alright. Now we got it.
I should be able to do this blindfolded.
You guys want to hear some completely irrelevant trivia around this stuff?
There was a game long ago called Descent.
And Descent was like a three-dimensional game.
And in it...
Oh. And I had an exit once in that game that I simply could not get a hold of.
And I never played it again.
Because that's just the kind of guy I am.
Okay, should we get this? Why not?
And now we go down and this way.
Uh-huh.
Down here. Up here?
Where now? Maybe it's down here.
Can I get off? Can I get off?
No. I gotta imagine this is not the way to go, right?
No. Up and wait.
Up here? No. Dead again.
Excellent. Anything else?
No? A little tough. Is there a game we can give you games to try?
I can tell you, that's very kind.
Let's just blow myself up here. No?
Let me blow up? Alright. I appreciate that, but I do not think I will have much time to play other games.
This is like my one treat, which is I've liked the Doom games from the very beginning.
So I appreciate that, but I do not think that I will have other games to play.
Okay, is this...
Sorry my friend, much though I would love to go there.
Up here. Why not?
Let's get this dude just in case it's helpful later.
And then drop down here and...
No.
That probably took a little bit too long, don't you think?
They say, should we make China pick up or tap?
I do not think you can.
Is there another wall here?
Oh. Out here?
Now what? Probably here, right?
Ah, we made it. Yay!
Tackles guitar hero.
I don't think so. Is the new Half-Life any good?
I played the old Half-Life way back in the day, but I have not played anything like that since.
Oh, it's down like an old man's erection when thinking of Margaret Thatcher in a bikini.
All right. Combat.
Ooh. I got 50%, 66%, and just under...
Well, just over 50%.
All right. That's all right.
Is Chris Cuomo breaking his conditioning or is he just exhausted?
So Chris Cuomo trashed CNN recently and my guess is that he's looking to get into office and he needs to become less partisan.
So that's probably something like that.
Alright, where are we now?
It's so cool that you guys think I care about the story.
All right.
How is the streaming, by the way?
Great.
Hayden? Is that a tribute to Hayden Pantieri?
Pantilissi? Wait, down here?
No, I think we've got to go up, right?
It's so weird going around corners without shooting stuff.
All right. Wait.
We shall go where we started.
All right. Streaming's good.
All right. Machinery at work.
That's it? That's it?
All right. Whee!
Chris will walk back his statements in less than a week.
You know, it's amazing, too. Like, I mean, CNN's guy gets greedy for all of his stuff, but...
Holy crap, there's no way that if...
I mean, can you imagine if someone worked for me and trashed my show in that kind of way?
They'd be out in their ass before the last syllable hit the airwaves.
Oh no, the resistance.
I always think of Barbra Streisand wobbling away.
Look at that, she's got boobs, and that's why you listen to her.
All right.
I must walk away from the HR propaganda of this game.
Whoa. Clear the room.
Clear the room. Chris Cuomo.
He's an anchor for CNN. Brother of Andrew Cuomo, New York Governor.
This area is no longer secure.
- Evacuation protocol is infected. - Oh, cool. cool.
I haven't tried this one yet.
I couldn't figure out that you needed to have something pointed at this thing.
That's cool, because now I don't need to worry about aiming.
Oh, that's cool. It also makes him stop his thing, right?
As in movement. Alright.
I guess I don't really need the health, but I'll shoot it up anyway.
Shocking!
Well, that was highly not so good.
I'm sorry.
Alright, let's get this guy's health, because embarrassingly we need it.
That's what they call embarrassing overkill.
Anything around the corner here?
Alright, now I've gone strategic, they've all gone away.
I've played a little Minecraft.
I've got to tell you, it's not really my thing.
It's just too blocky.
I cannot for the life of me figure out.
Wow.
Yeah, Mr. Thumpy Headbanger.
There we go.
Never say not really in need of health in this game.
Yeah, no kidding, eh? All right.
And this is...
You know what? This is fantastic.
The reason why I want to play this game at the moment is because...
Hey, I didn't kick any chairs there.
Why are the chairs all exploding?
I just kicked things for the hell of a bit, right?
All right. No, it's because...
Listen, man. You're going to need to...
Oh. Ah! Oh, I like that toy, actually.
Wish we had it. Um...
Yeah, the graphics are terrible at Minecraft.
It's a completely bizarre thing as to why Minecraft has become the most popular game on the planet of all time when it really looks like it's put together with Commodore 64 graphics from like 20 years ago.
No, that's more than 20 years ago, right?
Ooh, that was not bad.
As far as shootiness goes, right?
I would not want to be one of these expendable demons, you know?
All the demons are male, because they always want to reinforce the expendable male stereotype, right?
You can build amazing things, but it's basically bad Lego, right?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You know, a more dedicated gamer would figure out exactly which weapons work against which monsters.
That dedicated gamer is not me.
If I can make it stop with whatever mechanism I have in my power, I'm willing to do that and make it stop.
Dope nuts? Bakey cakey crumbs?
Fair enough. You know, there's a little bit of art back in here.
Okasushi. Sushi-flavored candy?
You know, for those of us who are parents...
Um...
You can actually get sushi...
You make sushi out of candy and stuff for kids.
They love that stuff. Not...
Super great.
Fighting, but...
Oh lord, one of these dudes.
Alright, the railgun.
Oops, an old favorite.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I'm at 125 health now, as a minimum.
Oh, that's all right. All right, I have a feeling that we're going to need a little ammo soon.
I could be right. All right.
Everybody who bothered me when I was young.
All right. What's down here?
All right. I like my Amy gun.
Do I have anything left in the Amy gun?
No. All right.
So that means...
It means ammo time.
Christmas lights of doom.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, these Slithery died dudes, right?
Oh, yeah.
They got me trapped now, haven't they?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, bad. Bad, bad, bad.
Pat, whoa, more?
Whoa.
Oh, I'll take this dude, and...
Needle health. A little more health.
This is just stocking up here, right?
All right. I don't use the environment as well as I should.
I'm sure there's great ways to use...
Like, you can push these barrels and have all this kind of stuff going.
Oh, yeah. Boy, look at that.
These are all what it looks like a gym membership up-signed places now, right?
Because everyone's sick and tired of not getting any of their gym membership.
Alright. Whoa. Things are moving.
They must be shot. Wait.
Breath. Breath. Breathing.
Alright. Might have been a smidge overkill there.
Giblets! Alright.
By the way, you guys should really check out my presentation on China.
The truth about China. Sorry.
The case against China. And I've got a great guest coming up.
Thursday and Friday I've got great guests coming up on the show.
I should check that out. Guess the people have been requesting that I talked to for quite a long time.
Alright, anything back here?
The improbable lights going on?
Ooh. Yeah, yeah, they'll never fight each other out.
Okay.
There is no them, for they are us, and we are they.
Oh, wrong weapon, wrong weapon.
I need... Oh, I'll get some help from this dude.
Sorry, I have to reboot my chatty side.
I'm back. I'm back.
I was thinking about other things, and I have returned.
There's a hole in my demon sky, dear Liza, dear Liza.
Alright, here we go.
More holes! Fire in the hole!
And it doesn't just burn when I pee.
Alright, here we go. Let's get this stuff...
Oh, yeah, and I was reading about the history of Taiwan today, and, boy, it's really tragic, of course.
You think of how the world could have been if China had not been taken over by communists, right?
It's just heartbreaking if there had been more Taiwan and more Hong Kong.
Headshot.
Headshot.
Don't throw your disco balls at me.
man. Actually, I have a feeling you will whether I ask you to or not.
Because, you know, much though I would like to negotiate, this is like trying to give a speech in New Zealand.
Oh, bad scene. Alright, let's just do another couple of minutes.
This is the Young Turks headquarters.
Yeah, they're getting unionized, aren't they?
Any advice on home workouts?
Oh, man, you got to do it, right?
It's easy to get sluggish in a quarantine, right?
So the goal, of course, is what you have to do is just really will yourself to do it, man.
I just did a long workout yesterday, another workout today, and try and find some way for it to be fun for you, right?
right?
Because it's pretty rough otherwise.
Oh, I'll take that.
Thank you very much.
Wait, I thought there was a guy still around.
Isn't there a guy still around? Oh, is he down here?
Alright, that gibletted him nicely.
So let's not go down just yet, because there was a little bit of fun stuff back here, right?
Yeah. Yeah, there's stuff you can do at home.
I haven't had a gym membership for quite some time, but there's lots of stuff that you can do at home.
Push-ups, sit-ups, if you've got a set of stairs nearby, you can do all that kind of stuff.
But yeah, you've got to keep it going, man, because it's pretty easy to get sluggish, right?
So, let's go. let's go.
I don't know what happens with that meat hook, man, but it's pretty wild.
Ooh, I'll take that health. Oh, no, I won't!
All right. Yeah, I knew exactly what happened there.
It wasn't digitally confusing at all.
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
Okay, anything in here? Yeah, we will take those prophylaptics, and I got just another couple minutes.
I might not make it to the end of this particular section, because I got me a lecture to get to.
All right. There we go.
Run away, run away.
Alright. I believe this was, you know what, this is the kind of floor imprint that I would leave in my younger disco-going days.
Alright. Low ammo?
I thought I just picked up a bunch of these dudes.
No? Okay, it's nothing back here, right?
No. Oh.
Save myself some ammo.
I light up your butt.
Oh.
More health! More health!
Yeah, but you know what's funny? So if you haven't worked out in a particular way for a while, what you want to make sure is that you don't pull something or do something weird.
That's probably more of an advice.
Oh, yeah.
Not going to go well, right?
Oh.
Oh.
Alright, should we go explore?
Yes, we shall.
I don't know why everything went slow there.
Whoa, that did not survive that, right?
Alright, let's get away if we can because we need to run.
One health, yeah. Can we get this guy?
Oh, that's sad. That should not have...
I should not have survived that.
Alright. Let's get away.
Is there any health back here?
Sometimes there are. There we go.
And can we get our rocket launcher?
Do we have it? No, we don't have much of anything, right?
I don't know why I keep slowing down I'm a little doomed here, right?
Oh, no, we're still alive.
I'm not saying we deserve to be, I'm just saying that we are.
Oh, and I really need some...
Oh, you go in the sticky stuff, it slows you down, right?
Did I get him? Doom level up, level 6.
Alright, alright.
I gotta go, my friends.
I'm going to have to stop here.
It's just a short thing tonight.
I just wanted to get this part done.
So drop by. Stay tuned.
We will continue. And thanks a lot for all of your time and attention.
I'd love to come back to New Zealand, but not as yet.
Okay, we'll talk to you guys soon. Lots of love.
▲
Export Selection