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April 6, 2019 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
38:51
STEFAN MOLYNEUX OWNED IN MINECRAFT BY ISABELLA! Part 2
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Time Text
Glitch in the Waterfall 00:14:37
Alright, so we're back.
Yeah, we're back.
We're back, and we are doing part two.
By the way, I just... sorry for interrupting.
Wait, did I even get three seconds into the combo before we get the interrupting butt?
No, but Dad, you started when you said, hey Izzy, you can do the intro.
You interrupted.
See?
It's only fair, isn't it?
Isn't it?
I officially withdraw my support for arguments, rationality, objectivity, and UPB.
Alright.
Alright, I give up on life.
I'm just gonna run out the door and drown.
Not an argument.
Oh wait, now I just gave up on arguments.
Wait, they're back.
Alright.
What?
I'm so confused.
So now... By the way, I just want to show this video.
Dad, get out of the way of the door.
I can't open it.
Yeah.
And you don't even have your pickaxe.
Oh, you do.
Okay.
So... I'm holding a death door of my memory.
Guys, I just wanted to show you.
Come in.
Come in.
Oh, come in?
Okay.
Then you see my video.
So there's this little thing.
Just look at me.
Yeah.
Is he now bouncing on the bed?
No, this is a thing in Minecraft.
I noticed it.
It's kind of like a glitch, I think.
Yeah.
Where when you jump on the bed, you just kind of stick up at the ceiling.
See?
And now watch, watch.
When I jump here, look.
See?
But you have an extra square to jump.
Like on the bed, it's only two squares.
No, but you stick up at the ceiling.
Ah, okay.
See?
Watch.
Okay, you are.
And your cube head goes into the ceiling.
Dad, see the chest?
Open it.
Open that chest!
It's right... No, that's the crafting table.
I'm sorry.
Uh, there, yeah.
Put all your, like, your ores and stuff.
You can just put everything you don't need.
Cobblestone?
Yeah, put it in the show.
Oakwood planks?
Yep.
Cobblestone.
Okay, so, listen, while I'm doing all this dull stuff, what are our plans for the amazing adventures you have planned for Daddy to keep his interest?
I'm scared now.
Alright, so we have built the house.
We have seen no monsters.
There have been precious little fighting.
Yeah, okay, so guys, listen.
So with this, I still like the left wing sign.
So right now we're basically going to try and build, get the obsidian.
We're probably going to cut that part out because it takes like two billion years.
Are you trying to hit me?
No, I'm just breaking.
Oh, I'm hungry.
Oh, I have food.
I can give you a bit of food.
Okay.
Now, what level of difficulty are we on?
We are, I think we're on easy.
Yeah.
It feels too easy.
It feels too easy.
Can you just change it without us changing?
Normal.
Closest I've ever been.
Oh!
Self-bird!
Self-immolation.
Dad!
You can't mine with an axe.
No, I know.
I'm keeping this for animals.
For attacks.
Sheep.
Why is my health down?
You didn't eat it, Dad.
It's right there.
I gotta go here.
No, sorry.
I gotta go to an inventory, right?
No, I just gave you the food.
It's right there.
Right beside your axe.
Oh!
How did you get it?
Okay.
I threw it at you.
And then I just eat it, right?
I threw it at you.
Okay, that does it.
You're not full, so your health will go up totally, but it doesn't matter.
Alright, that's fine.
So, if you see me, we're going to head over to that... my gosh.
So the next plan is to mine more stuff, but is there any fighting we can do that has a sense of purpose?
They will probably find monsters in the cave, now that's not normal.
Now this is the death drop, right?
Oh my goodness!
Oh my gosh!
Monsters spawn!
Let's go!
Where?
Monsters spawn.
Oh, you jump into the waterfall, and then you go down from there, right?
I'm taking the enchanted apple!
That is the bad beginning to just about every fairy tale I've ever read.
What?
Enchanted apples.
What do you mean by that?
Pretty much how iPads work, I think.
Woah, dude!
I just got hit by a skeleton!
Oh my god!
Where's the skeleton?
The skeleton's trapped in the waterfall!
It's trying to murder me!
I'm done!
Do we have keep your stuff?
If we die?
I'm going to double check.
Yeah, because I don't want to chicken out on that.
I really, really want to chicken out on that.
Yeah, okay.
All right.
Sorry.
Jake, can you please get out of the way?
Okay.
So, good.
Wait, I need to get- We had some adventure.
Some excitement.
I just killed- Can I pick up the arrow?
No.
No, I don't think so.
Let's check.
Lots of arrows around, right?
Okay.
I'm pretty sure it is.
Keep inventory, yeah.
Dude!
What?
There's a guy on fire here.
It's because there's a monster spawner.
Oh my goodness.
Can we destroy that?
Yeah, I'm going to have to.
E.
All right.
It's...
Sorry, when we see a monster spawner, I keep expecting Chelsea Clinton to come out.
Oh!
Oh!
Hillary Clinton burn, always viable.
Dad, come here.
See me?
Yes.
You have to... Oh, oh!
I'm coming.
They burn in daylight.
Get out of the water.
Okay.
Well, that was depressing life for him.
Now, did we get experience for killing the monsters?
Yeah.
All right.
Broke it!
I broke it!
I broke it!
Okay, good.
Good.
All right, so now what?
I'm just taking everything from the chest.
Oh, there's a chest.
Iron horse armor.
Yeah, that makes sense.
The bucket just vanished.
I just stole it.
It went invisible.
Dad, I took it!
Okay, fine.
Are we recording?
I'm just telling you guys, RIP headphone users.
You know what it is?
It's like, occasionally, some people will say, oh, Steph, I find your voice so soothing that I go to sleep to it.
This is not the show to go to sleep in.
Okay, dad, now swim up the waterfall.
All right.
I just died, so.
Yoggle goggle boggle, up the waterfall.
I am an itsy bitsy spider.
All right, here we go.
I keep doing that.
Okay, got it, got it.
So I'm up the waterfall.
Now what?
I'm almost up.
Now, just basically, oh, oh, oh.
Sorry, we still have a ways up.
And I just need to get my bucket so we can do that same little thing.
Because I got the bucket from the chest because it was very dumb of me to forget to bring one.
Crab Bucket.
You used to like that song when you were little.
What?
Crab Bucket it was called.
So you're going to have to jump to the waterfall.
Jump into it.
No time to get down because I'm moving up.
I'm going up the waterfall.
More?
Oh, Dad, you're going... Good, good, good.
Now what?
Oh, are we out?
Wait, I gotta get out!
I'm stuck!
Well, I'm out, I'm out, I'm out.
Okay, I'm blocked.
Wait, get out of my way.
Get it?
I'm blocked because it's Minecraft?
I don't know.
Dad jokes, oh my goodness.
Dad jokes, that's right.
There's nothing better than Dad Minecraft jokes.
No, they're really... yeah, there are a lot.
Okay, so we're out?
Yeah, let's head to that cave.
The other one, right?
Now, what did we get out of this other than the satisfaction of killing skeletons?
We got a lot of ore.
Like, at least, sorry, not ore.
Either ore?
Oh, that's a fine philosophy joke.
No, what?
Because the word ore has two meanings.
Yes, I get it!
No, it's very subtle.
No, it's not!
Alright.
Why are there so many sheep in this forest?
This is the place we went in before, right?
There are like 50 buildings.
I think it is, yeah.
Right here!
I found it!
Yeah.
I was just going to teleport you to me.
No, no, I'm here, I'm here.
No, you're in the wrong one, I think.
I'm right here.
Don't teleport me, that's cheating.
I just did it.
Okay.
Alright.
Now, I'm afraid I can't see because I've got the ring light going in my eyeballs.
It makes everyone think I'm possessed.
At least, I'm just going to get some of these.
There's your gift.
What?
Alright, nothing.
Alright.
And I'm just going to go get some torches from later on.
Yep.
Just because they're like right here.
Ooh.
It's okay, Dad.
Just getting a few torches.
Oh.
What?
It's getting dark.
Yes, Dad.
You're going to have to live with that.
My goodness.
You stole my torch!
Did I?
Yeah, you did.
I believe my color is different today.
I thought I checked the white balance, but... Something in the West is having quite a bit of trouble.
Uh-oh!
Skeleton!
Where?
Where?
Where are you?
Are you down below?
It's scary.
No, I'm not.
It's in the waters.
It's just trying to murder me over here.
Because, you know, that's healthy.
Fish bone.
Oh, look, I just got a bow and arrow.
A bow.
Oh, I want a bow and arrow.
I love bows and arrows in Skyrim.
Except, Dad, I'm just gonna be honest that it's almost used because apparently... Oh, I see something down here.
Oh, that's the spider from last time.
That is one patient spider that is very hungry.
Well, I'm gonna play some- Come up the water spout!
It's a bit- Okay, I'm gonna go.
No!
Wait, there's two things down here.
Creeper!
Creeper!
Is that bad?
Dad, it just exploded.
I'm down to, like, half health.
Alright.
Wait, there's lava!
That's why it's light!
Okay.
I bet you- Obsidian!
And redstone.
But forget the redstone.
Here, we got a lot of obsidian here.
Should I get the redstone since you're doing that?
Forget the redstone, Dad.
We both need to get our obsidian.
We're going to cut this off.
Oh, this is the obsidian?
We're going to cut this off the video.
Oh, come on.
Is this slow or what?
It's slow.
Is it breaking?
Yes, it's breaking.
But I have diamond.
Dad, you're using your axe.
Oh.
No, wait, you're not.
You're using... No, I'm using my diamond pickaxe.
That's what I want.
Yeah, it does break.
It does break, Dad.
I am mining straight down.
Just be patient this time.
Patient?
We need... I think we need 16.
So, Izzy, when someone... when a plague first starts, the first person who gets the plague is called patient zero.
Oh, right.
Yeah, now, patient zero is also the level of my patience in general.
Probably.
Just so you know.
Patience is to me a kind of disease that must be cured with hyper-stimulation.
What?
But at least I'm the only person in the family like that.
Totally.
Alright, hang on.
I feel bad that I named all our accounts Jenna Dragons.
That's alright.
Whenever I play, I'm like, Jenna Dragons.
And I'm like, now I want my name to be Apocalypse.
Because, you know, that's just peaceful.
Ah, okay, so I'm getting some obsidian.
What do we do with the obsidian?
We use it to build another portal.
I have six pieces of it.
I have... Oh!
I got a bow and arrow!
Yeah, because you killed a skeleton.
Can I repair the bow and arrow at all?
I think you can using an anvil, but I have no clue how to craft it, so don't ask me.
How to craft an anvil?
I'm sure you can.
I actually, yeah, I can kind of figure out how.
Stay away from my arm.
Stay away from my arm.
Izzy, should we tell anyone about the obsidian dragons in our roleplaying?
Oh yeah, you go ahead.
So we have these dragons in our roleplaying, which is kind of like a storytelling thing.
You've told roleplaying on a show, right?
Yeah, yeah.
So roleplaying is just a kind of verbal storytelling that we do.
And we have obsidian dragons, and they are the laziest dragons known to man.
Dad, sorry, I just placed lava on you.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to.
I believe there's been some kind of glitch.
I believe that something has gone terribly, terribly wrong.
There, you're back.
I died?!
I was just looking at Respawn main menu.
Just click Respawn.
Wait, now technically that's not accurate.
Dad, I... No, no, no, hang on.
Daddy's making a long story.
No, no, no, he went back.
No, just please go to Respawn, Dad.
So, technically, I don't think it's true that I died.
Technically, I think it's true that I was killed.
No, I meant... Yeah, but you were in... Murdered by lava.
Alright, may I respawn?
Yeah.
Oh my goodness.
There.
Jenna Dragons tried to swim in lava.
I do not believe that that is actually accurate.
It's the way they say it.
We're pushed in lava.
All right.
Whoa.
Spiky lava dude.
So the obsidian dragons are lazy.
They follow other dragons and they pick up their kill, right?
So the dragons kill something.
They'll bury it or something.
They will hide it to get it later.
And the obsidians will follow them and just pick them up.
Except on the other side of the world, everything's opposite.
The obsidian dragons are obsessive.
About tidiness.
And hyper regimented.
Like they really are.
Everything has to be perfect.
They're very proactive.
And so on the other side of the world, everything's opposite.
How much obsidian do you have?
Oh, good question.
Let's see here.
I have one.
Oh, come on.
I thought I broke more than one.
Are you kidding me, Dad?
Maybe there's stuff that's still floating down there.
Sorry, I just needed to do something.
Yeah.
I got a piece of... Orange man bad.
What?
Oh, just my skin looks kind of orange.
I know.
Alright.
I'm just getting a bit more obsidian.
Alright.
We can fix it in post-production.
What?
Never mind.
I have eleven pieces, now twelve.
Alright, so how many do we need for this nether?
I think sixteen.
All right.
Should I just get more redstone, because I might as well do something?
Yeah, might as well.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, I can see these diamond pickaxes.
It's like a knife through butter, as they used to say when I was a kid.
All right.
Now it would be a rocket launcher through a noob.
A noob?
Yeah, Unreal Tournament 3 is out and it's, well it's been out for a while, but it's kind of disappointing.
Alright.
Oh it is?
Why is that?
Well, I don't know, it just doesn't seem to have quite the polish and excitement and of course nobody's playing it.
Unreal Tournament was like my big shooty game when I was younger.
It was the first real network game that I got into.
Doom was okay, but Unreal Tournament was fantastic.
Here, I'm just getting another two pieces.
Alright, so we're heading back up?
I'm sorry about this, we're going to cut this out of the video.
No, no, it's fine, it's fine, we're chatting.
We're ambling, we're chatting.
Alright.
Somehow I ate more.
No!
What?
Maybe I feasted on a skeleton.
One second.
So I need to try and figure out how to make an anvil, right?
I'm just going to do something.
Nature.
Items.
Equipment.
Construction.
Oh, you normally do it at a crafting table, Dad.
Oh yeah?
Okay.
So I should first make a crafting table.
Should I put up some jack-o-lanterns here?
Just give me a second.
Alright.
Patient zero has arrived.
Patients of zero.
Okay, I got the obsidian.
Alright.
Oh!
Uh, no, I need a weapon, right?
Uh, that is a diamond axe.
Uh, you can use diamond axe as a weapon.
Please don't get blown up.
And do not eat the rotten food.
The rotten flesh.
Oh, you just called it a zombie?
I thought it was a creeper.
No, it was a zombie.
Oh, that's fat.
I like zombies.
They're funny.
He's an NPC.
Which philosophers regularly slay intellectuals?
One second.
That's just for light.
Oh, I thought it was another murder weapon.
I died.
Can I make a suggestion?
Go into it dad, quickly, so we can spawn together.
Oh, okay.
Whoa, something's hitting me.
See, now this is the kind of combat that gets daddy's excitement going.
There you go, you're safe now.
Alright.
And now?
See me?
I'm big, over here.
Yeah, now where do we go?
So we have the obsidian, do we have enough?
Yeah, I've got... I've got, do you want me to give you yours?
I have 17 pieces.
Do you want me to give you mine?
Yeah, I have some keys.
Okay, I'm gonna give you mine.
I just threw it out here.
Okay, thanks.
Actually, no, pick it up.
Alright.
Sorry.
Here, swim up our waterfall.
It's the easiest way to get up to our house.
Oh, cool.
There's only one thing I think that is missing from Minecraft so far.
Not that I'm complaining, it's just a mild suggestion.
What?
That there's no way to do slow motion goat calls.
Oh yeah!
Goat simulator!
Oh guys, I'm just telling you, any listeners who haven't played that need to because it is absolutely- You need to play the Capture the Flag mode in Goat Simulator.
It is quite hysterical.
Oh my goodness, we are so hysterical.
It's insane.
It's like- No!
The music when you win, it's- Wait, what's your imitation of it?
It's the saddest dying horn.
Dad, can you please move out of the way?
I'm going to build my portal here.
Okay, where do you want me to go?
Anywhere, just do something.
Go kill some animals.
Alright.
Sounds healthy.
Can I go plant some pretty flowers?
Yes, that would be lovely.
Oh no.
Oh, I should go and see if I can make a repair.
My bow and arrow, right?
It's somewhere in the crafting table.
I can make what?
Not much apparently.
What?
Arrow of Leaping.
You don't have anything, that's why.
Damage to Mushrooms 00:09:26
I got nothing.
You need cobblestone, I think.
Clothing?
What?
So, you don't know how to repair stuff, because I have a bow, but it's almost toasted, right?
Okay, I sure hope I built the right shape.
I mean, I didn't exactly, because, you know, reasons, but... See, we talked about this before.
I thought that the portal was going to take forever.
Like we're going to have to cut everything out, it's going to be hours and hours.
Well no, it's so lucky that we found that obsidian.
I just saw Lala and I saw a light, so I'm like, I bet you... Did me having the flesh melting from my bones, did that have anything to do with us finding stuff?
No.
No.
Actually, it probably did.
It was just general footnotes.
Just say it did, so the sacrifice feels worth it.
Okay.
Okay, I'm jumping through the portal to a tree.
Oh my god!
That, it's not, it doesn't even have flint and steel.
I made a mistake in building it, so I just need to break the obsidian again.
I'm awake!
I'm awake!
Not peaceful childing.
That does not apply in this family.
It's peaceful parenting.
Not necessarily peaceful childing.
Although, we did actually have some hopes that this might be the case, but we're seeing.
That is one small portal.
I can see the trees on the other side though.
Is that the nether?
Just kidding.
Just kidding.
NETHER DOESN'T HAVE TREES!
It doesn't have trees?
No.
The nether is... What?
Is it hell?
Basically.
Alright.
All right, so you're taking me back to my childhood.
Oh!
Family burn!
Family virgin burn!
No, what?
Virgin?
What?
All right, what do we got here?
Give me one second.
I need some blocks.
Iron ore and coal?
What does that make me?
Let's find out.
I just need some blocks.
I'm going to grab them from the chest.
Ah, the progress bar.
What?
Even that is pretty conservative.
Dad, why didn't you put the... Why didn't you put the... Iron ingot!
Yay.
Now, what if I make redstone and coal?
What does that get me?
What is it, Steve?
Nothing.
Nothing is happening.
I don't know.
Alright, what about Iron Horse Armor and Cold?
Does that get me a robot horse?
I hope so!
I need a robot horse that breathes fire and flies.
Dad!
It's not my game, of course, but that's what it would be if it was.
Thank goodness it isn't.
Oh, I got an Iron Nugget.
Oh, good for you, Dad.
Now, you know what would be cool?
What's bad for your teeth is Iron Nougat.
That would be...
That would be very dumb.
Okay, what is a stick?
This is just experimentation.
Stick and coal.
Should get fire.
No, nothing.
Okay, what do I get here if I put in obsidian and coal?
Nothing.
Alright.
And I think that's it.
Rotten flesh and coal.
Something with a vindaloo in it.
Oh, we have flint.
I've just got to go into my crafting table.
Alright.
So now what?
I'm just making the flint and steel.
Oh, for the portal?
Yeah.
I'm just telling you that if we're not somewhere new, I'm going to start singing songs in no rush, no pressure.
It's just the way things are.
I'll give you like 60 seconds and then I'm going to sing.
I got it!
In a very high falsetto.
I got it!
I got it!
No Dad, don't say it!
There's motivation for you.
Don't say it!
There's motivation for you.
No, I beg you!
I beg you!
Wait, wait, wait.
Can we go through?
Yeah, go through.
Get in.
Get in!
This is the dreamy stuff that I dropped in on the first one, right?
Yeah.
Alright.
Sure, I hope we got a good terrain.
Building terrain.
Alright.
Can I see anything?
I just fell into my desk!
Wait, which way do I go?
I don't know, Dad!
I am not a big fan.
I got murdered.
This is very post-modern.
Just move.
Alright, but I don't want to get... Oh!
Oh, I'm out.
Oh, ew.
Wait, floaty things.
What are these?
Those are ghasts.
Run!
Ghasts?
Are they friendies?
Do they look like friendies?
No, they're giant floaty octopuses.
Octopi.
Oh wow, that's trippy.
What?
Trippy?
Trippy.
Sorry, it just means like it's, uh... Whoa.
Oh, there's... Oh, there's friendlies marching down there.
Let's go hug them.
What?
Friendlies.
See?
Ah!
Am I burning?
Yeah, you are.
Why am I burning?
I think you got hit by a ghast.
Oops.
I don't want to do any... Come on.
You're at one health!
Oh, I feel so bad!
Okay, I'm gonna go hide on the other side of the portal and I'm gonna eat some food, right?
Doesn't that get me, uh... Ghasties!
Did you fall again?
Oh dear, oh dear.
I don't have any food!
What happened to my porkchops?
You ate them.
No, I think there was still some left.
Do you have any food?
I'm just talking- Dead end dragons discovered floor was lava.
Now when you come back, do you come back in the nether or somewhere else?
Um, somewhere else.
Whoa, hello.
Can you get me a food?
Now, can we attack these guys?
Sorry, my microphone just fell off.
Sorry, microphone.
Alright, let me hold your tablet.
There.
Alright.
Hello, microphone again.
So...
So now, we can edit that.
That's at 20 minutes.
Okay, so now we're in the nether.
And what do we do?
I thought the nether was going to be more complicated.
Oh, isn't there an ender dragon I've heard of, right?
Yeah.
Oh, something's following you.
Now, can we kill a ghast?
Uh, yeah.
You need to shoot back its fireballs using a stone sword, which I currently completely forgot about.
You shoot back its fireballs?
Yeah.
Hello, ghast!
Get over here!
What?
Can I just not hit it?
Oh, do you have a bow and arrow?
You can do that, right?
Now, do we find a way down?
Is that the plan?
I'm going to go down and explore.
I killed it in one hit!
Oh, that's good, right?
I need to go get a... Sorry, I'm okay.
I'm okay!
Can I collect these mushrooms?
Sure, if you want.
Do I have to break them, right?
And then I can pick them up?
Yeah.
Alright, fair enough.
Oh look, I have a bucket of lava in the middle.
I'm okay.
These random gasps are very exciting.
Alright, so can I... No, I don't think I can find any way down from here.
Oh, how did you get down there?
I jumped.
Doesn't that hurt?
Sure does.
Just don't jump with a spoon.
All right, I'm jumping.
I'm sure I'll be fine.
Oh, just a little bit of damage.
All right.
Now, do I hack these guys?
I'm gonna... No, don't!
If you attack one, then all the others in the surrounding area... Oh, so they're non-aggression, right?
So they are the non-aggression principle.
So if you don't initiate force against them, then they won't initiate force against you, right?
I'm just mining the ore.
Hang on, there's something here.
What's this?
It's nether quartz.
Do I want that?
Sure.
I think you do.
I'm not exactly sure.
I feel I do.
I totally should have watched a video for this.
It's okay, I like it.
No, no, no, because that would have been Daddy's suggestion to watch a video.
Yes, it would have been.
So that can't be right.
Now I'm afraid to go down here.
Oh no, I should be able to find my way back up, right?
Can I see, Dad?
I'll be good.
Yeah, I think I may have, oops, I think I may have at some point suggested that we watch a video to know what's coming next.
No, dad, dad.
You said, good heavens no, that's madness.
No, dad, I do think, the reason, one reason why I said that was because I think it would have been hilarious.
If we don't know what we're doing?
If we have no clue what the heck we're supposed to do.
Uh, can I tell you something?
What?
I don't have a clue what the heck I'm supposed to be doing.
Then good.
So what are we doing down here?
Can I smack you?
What are we doing down here, peaceful child?
I wanna go kill these guys!
The guys you just told me not to attack?
Uh, yeah, you can attack him now because we're friends.
Oh, he has an enchanted gold sword!
I need a diamond axe, right?
Gold swords are absolute- Now if we both die, can we come back?
No, they won't.
They don't do much damage if you know how to hit them.
See?
You just died!
What the heck?
They don't do much damage if you die!
If you know how to hit them!
Oh my- Woah, gosh!
Wait, oh, I just come through here on the nether.
Okay, so we- okay, so- Hi.
Let's go find some more zombie pigmen to kill.
Oh dad, this is your pickaxe.
It kind of went flying.
Okay, now, question.
You said that they don't do much damage if you know how to hit them.
And you just kind of have to back off and smack them.
Okay, sounds like a parenting magic.
Look at all the red mushrooms!
Look at all the red mushrooms on my screen.
Wait, where are you?
I'm right here.
Oh yeah, there you go.
Okay.
Do you see all the red mushrooms?
Uh, yes.
Mushrooms?
Dad?
Now where do we go?
Um, well, I think we should try and find a stronghold, but I don't know if... Can we build a home here?
Oh goodness, no.
Dad, you try and sleep and your bed explodes.
What?
Yeah.
What an insomniac nightmare.
Insomnia is when you can't sleep.
You know, like you until like midnight.
2 a.m.
in the morning.
Now, what have we got here?
I wanna go try something, Dad.
I'm gonna mine us a passage.
Yeah.
Um, basically... Now, do you know a passage?
How many different... How many different... I really don't care.
Hang on.
So exciting.
Like the passage in the book, kind of?
Yeah, yeah, passage in a book and a passage through.
Yeah.
Um... I'm gonna smack this ugly thing.
Okay.
Hey, ugly thing, you wanna be... Oh, I just pushed him into the lava, okay.
Ah, well, it's a good thing you got to practice that on me.
Peaceful parenting.
Peaceful Minecrafting.
There we go.
Actually, we're doing pretty well, because we are not actually... I mean, we're not doing too much.
I think we're killing fewer things now than we did on the last game.
Killing fewer things?
Or maybe being dying less?
No, I think we've been dying... Yeah, we've been dying more on this one.
Yeah, probably.
Mostly not by monsters.
For me, monsters and fire.
Me.
Yeah, and you.
Which makes you a monster.
Logically.
Alright.
What?
Now what?
What are we doing?
What are we doing?
Oh my goodness, dad!
Oh, leader!
What is our purpose?
Um, to kill zombie pigmen because they're fat.
Uh, are they fat?
You know, can I tell you something?
I really haven't complained much about the pixels, have I?
I just got an enchanted gold sword.
Smite number one, four points of damage.
How do I know how much damage my diamond pickaxe, or my diamond whatever it is does?
It tells you.
Uh, five diamond.
Attack, damage, bleh.
Whatever.
Oh, plus six attack damage.
Alright.
Oh, it was close.
Still didn't stop me from getting killed.
Alright, now what?
Tell Me If This Seems Familiar 00:02:19
Here, wait!
I wanna head down here!
Alright, can I mine this stuff?
What is it?
What?
Oh, that is some slow mo- Oh no, it's because of the wrong thing.
Okay.
That's better.
It's falling into lava, Dad!
Run back!
Move back!
Alright, alright.
Follow me!
Where are you?
Because I'm Biggs.
Biggie Smalls.
Oh yeah, that's still funny.
Go.
Okay, so we're back in the house.
We're back in the house.
We died.
No, you died, and then you teleported me to you rather than you to me.
As an accident.
Okay, so we're back, but exciting developments have occurred.
We need one thing to do before we head back into the Nether.
Okay.
We need something to do.
So what we need to do is we need to get food because we are out of food currently.
Now, can we grow food?
Can we do high-tech agriculture?
Oh yeah, let's do a farm!
Let's do a farm.
I didn't think of that.
That would be super fun.
Wait, did I actually contribute something in Minecraft?
You came up with the idea!
You finally!
I believe that the Earth has now tilted on its axis and the end times have approached.
I think so.
What?
That may be a bit of a slight exaggeration.
I think so.
Probably not.
Just a little bit though.
Alright, I look like a basically just rubbed orange peel all over my face before the recording.
I just want to let you know.
From my angles?
Wait, wait, wait.
Okay, Izzy, quick question.
So look at the screen here.
Tell me if this seems at all familiar.
Wait, hang on.
Hey, Apple!
I just wanted to tell you something.
So from my angle, since I'm sitting down super low, you know when you look at a screen from a weird angle and it kind of looks gray?
Yeah.
So you literally look like fire right now.
Hey, Apple!
Because I'm sitting like two feet below the screen and kind of far away.
Annoying orange reference, which we watched a couple of years ago.
Hey, Apple!
Yeah, you showed me like a few of those clips.
It was hilarious.
Yeah, they were funny.
I think people have a new ringtone.
Hey, Apple!
I want to go to a shareholder meeting for Apple.
Hey, Apple!
Throw!
I should stop that.
It's going to hurt my voice, people's ears, and everyone's patience.
Probably.
Alright.
I mean, yeah.
Yeah, probably.
So, let's... Dad, grab the sticks from inside the chest.
Oh, stone pickaxe, iron pickaxe, sticks, torch.
Can I take some torches?
Yeah, I'll take those.
I have two sticks already.
Take a little bit of iron.
There's no sticks in here.
In the large chest?
Ground Already Sticks Flat 00:06:28
Yeah, you just took them, didn't you?
No, I just took torches.
I have two sticks.
Does that help?
Yep, you have enough sticks.
Oh, I have what?
Nether what?
Oh, soul sand.
Okay, I can't read that.
Nether something or other.
Okay.
I need you to take...
Uh, two iron from the chest.
You see it?
Uh, ingots, right?
Yeah, iron.
I have three in total, if that helps.
Okay, that's good.
Alright.
So, head in there.
And now?
You see iron hoe?
Go into the chest.
Sorry, crafting table, sorry.
Uh, crafting table, alright.
Um, so I need to make an iron hoe, right?
Iron hoe, yeah.
Got it.
Made.
Uh, let's put that where the bones are.
Assume we don't grow skeletons or anything like that.
No, I don't think so.
And now, let's head out, and now we need to find a grassy area, like a flat area where we can put our farm.
Alright.
Help me find one.
I'll give you a flat note on singing.
Do you remember that contest we did when we were driving up to the flat note thing when we were driving?
It was like, who could sing the worst on Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?
That's right.
And I remember, you sung it like really well, and then you were just like, at the end, twinkle twinkle little star.
It was like, you just slowly got worse from there.
Yeah, if you give good singing and then you give bad singing, the bad singing is even more like... It was just like the last Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and I sang it like basically it was that, and it was like hilarious.
Yeah, yeah.
Because you lure people in.
Alright, so now?
Okay.
So I think this is kind of a good flat area.
So we clear the trees?
Oh yeah, no, we don't need to clear the trees.
Okay.
So, let's just get a base out the area.
How do you do that?
Oh, you've got the hoe, right?
It's gonna get wet because we don't have any water yet.
Water bases.
Does the hoe... How are you doing that so quickly?
You just click it.
Click the ground.
No, that breaks it.
Oh no, no.
Touch the ground.
Just touch it.
See?
Oh, right click.
Sorry, sorry.
Okay.
It's okay.
No problem.
Oh, that's cool.
Oh, you have to break the grass.
Okay.
I'm just gonna do something super quick.
I need to go grab our bucket.
I completely forgot it.
Right.
All right.
Let's do one more here.
One more row here.
So this is our farming.
Okay, so this is like the sandboxy stuff, right?
Sandbox?
So sandbox means that you can play, like you know how in a sandbox you can build anything you want out of the sand?
Oh yeah.
So people talk about Minecraft like a sandbox, like you can do anything you want.
So here's where the farming comes in.
Now I'm going to get rid of a tree here because it's kind of in the way of our farming.
Yeah.
Wait, it's not a pickaxe?
What am I supposed to do here?
Pickaxe for trees?
Oh no.
X. Yeah.
Sorry.
There we go.
Oh yeah, that's like fast forward from the beginning, right?
Oh goodness, yeah.
Alright.
So, sorry.
Are you planting stuff, right?
No, what I'm doing is I'm breaking the ground and then I'm going to put in some... And you're breaking the ground with the... The water.
I'm putting in water.
Wait, I'm sorry.
There's different colored textures on here.
Oh yeah, some of them is just earth where it dried up.
Okay, so it dries, alright.
You know, I thought night time came and we had to hide, but this is like, it's the endless day, this is like Game of Thrones day.
No, I bet you when we went back to the nether, it became night time.
Oh, this is called irrigation, right?
So this is when you... The water.
The water, okay.
That's interesting, alright.
Yeah, dude, day cycle is on.
Yeah.
Endless summer.
Alright, so now do we need seeds?
I have a sapling seed, but I don't think that does any good.
Oh, there's a wolf!
Cool.
You can tame those, it's like fun, but... One of the first jokes I ever heard, boo.
What?
I used to be a werewolf but I'm alright now!
That's kind of a dad joke.
Did a dad tell you?
It was in fact the dad.
Knew it!
Passing on the wisdom of the dad jokes.
Here, I'm just putting everything back.
So dad, you see the grass?
This is a little bit boring right here.
Oh, do we want to clear the grass?
Just break the grass and after a little while you'll get seeds.
Oh, I just got one.
But we don't want to plant grass, do we?
No, seeds give you wheat when they grow.
Oh.
So just break the grass.
It takes a little while.
I think it's like, I don't know, whatever, but... Do you think that this is teaching children patience?
No.
No?
No.
Oh, found a seed.
Oh, I just got... No, because kids, you know, notoriously, like especially with tablets and all that, they're kind of considered to be kind of hyper and they're lacking attention.
But if this game is kind of patient, like it does teach you kind of patience, right?
Yeah, but it's always exciting during the game.
Because you can't, like in some games, right, like Dragonvale and stuff.
Oh my gosh, you have to wait like three days.
You have to be patient.
Well, but there's a way to bypass that, right?
Yeah, but you have to also be patient to earn the resources to bypass that.
Yeah, yeah, but no, so with gems you can speed things up, but there's no speeding things up in Minecraft, right?
No.
Like there's no way to say, I spend a gem and therefore I'm gonna get, like I've only got one set of seeds here, right?
Oh, really?
I got seven.
Try mining it under trees.
Really?
Under trees you get the most seeds, I think.
Like, I mean, breaking the seeds that are beside the trees and stuff.
Oh, yeah, there's one.
See?
Can't reach it.
Must destroy tree.
It's a massive error in the game.
Yeah, can't reach under trees.
Okay, I have ten seeds.
Alright, so that's going to be enough to grow wheat, and then... When we break the wheat, we get wheat, and then we get extra seeds.
Are you ready for your Japanese proverb test?
No.
Nobody is ever ready for the Japanese proverb test.
Okay.
Japanese proverb test.
Excuse me?
Japanese proverb test.
Does that mean like the farming thing for like rice?
I don't know.
No.
So Japanese proverb test is this.
There's no point digging for water when you're already thirsty.
What does it mean?
I don't know!
What does it mean?
I'm not sure, Dad.
There's no point digging for water when you're already thirsty.
Or it's too late to dig for water when you're already thirsty.
What does it mean?
I'm not sure actually, to be honest.
This is like a complicated one.
I'm often pretty good at this, okay listeners?
Alright, so if you're already thirsty, how quickly do you need to drink?
Fast.
Right.
If you start digging for water, how long is it going to take you to get water?
A while.
Right, so it means don't wait for an emergency to plan ahead.
Yeah.
Right, so there's no point, or there's not much use digging for water when you're already thirsty.
No Point Digging 00:04:19
So in total I've gotten 16 seeds.
Sorry for interrupting.
Okay, so I'm adding more seeds.
Oh, good!
Perfect, Dad.
Oh, they're already starting to grow.
This is like, okay, this is a little satisfying, I'm afraid.
I don't get satisfaction.
It's weird.
It's weird.
Okay, guys.
Okay, so I'm out of seeds.
So am I. So now what do we do?
Okay, we'll wait for these to grow and then we'll stop because then we'll have food, right?
And we'll plan for next time.
Yeah.
And by that I do mean plan.
So, let's do something.
So you see me?
Let's head back to our house.
Yep.
Right?
How long will these take to grow?
Um, they'll take maybe, like, a day-night cycle, not even.
Really?
Yeah, pretty quick.
Wow.
Well, I mean, only if the soil's watered, which it is, because I put water there.
Sorry, I just messed up.
I'm trying to climb.
I cannot climb.
Alright, so we're back home.
Where's the sun?
The sun's still pretty high, right?
Sun's still... Oh, I can see it moving down.
Yeah.
Not very real.
Except, my goodness, Dad.
Sorry.
That will take a while.
Alright.
I'm just making some bone meal.
So we got... Now I'm not hungry anymore.
Okay.
So you see me... Dad, where the heck are you?
Wait, where are you?
Meet me in the front of the house.
I'm in the front.
Okay.
I have bone meal.
See?
And then maybe we can... I just broke... Oops.
I used a piece of bone meal.
I gave you seeds.
And now I'm obsessed with getting all the grass I can.
Yeah.
Just so you know.
Dad, if you hold seeds, there's a chicken currently staring at you.
Just hold the seeds.
Hold seeds.
Really?
They attract chickens.
Is it going to attack?
Can I feed it?
Yeah.
How do I do that?
Just click it.
Which, left or right?
I don't know, Dad.
I don't play on keyboard.
Ooh!
The chicken loves me?
No, it's if you get another... No, I've got a heart!
No, Dad, if you get another one with hearts, it'll mate.
Whoa.
Cute.
We've got a whole ecosystem going on here.
What?
Oh my God, it's a chicken egg!
Okay, sorry.
Cool, all right.
I thought the chicken loved me, but it only loves another chicken.
Yep.
So, with the bone meal, you can automatically kind of fast grow.
Oh, so it's kind of like a fertilizer.
Basically.
All right.
Oh, wow.
Nice, right?
So now we kind of speed.
Okay, let's go to the other place.
I'm gonna give you some bones, okay, Dad?
I sure hope this is enough.
What about all them chicken bones?
We're gonna try and tame wolves.
What?
This seems too hazardous for me.
Go to the other side.
Can't we just buy a tame wolf?
Let's be civilized about this.
Let's be civilized!
Do you remember that meme where the dog is saying, you know, oh, there's some friendly humans who want to feed me, what could go wrong, right?
And then like 10,000 years later it's in like a... Oh, there's a rabbit!
There's a rabbit!
Oh my god, it's running away.
It's in a funny tucky outfit.
Dad, there's a black rabbit and it just currently fell into a cave.
What?
Can we save it?
No.
They run away from you.
I think that's one, Dad!
What if I have a carrot?
I think I just found one!
What?
Where?
Found a what?
Oh, it's a chicken, nevermind.
Oh!
Chicken!
Seeds!
Feed!
Oh wait, oak sapling.
Oh!
Wait, no, I get seeds.
I gotta get seeds.
Pickaxe?
Iron bucket.
Here, I'm just breaking all this stuff so we get seeds.
I have two- I have three seeds.
Can you give me one?
I need to make friends with the chicken.
There's a wolf nearby!
I'm now obsessed with chicken love.
I see the wolf!
I'm gonna tame it!
Alright, alright.
I'm gonna be here in case it doesn't work.
Which- oh, it's getting dark!
It's tame!
Ooh, it's- what the?
No, but dad, it will fight for you.
Yeah, there's another one dad for here for you here.
I don't have it.
What do I need it?
You have three bones, okay?
Okay, put that where the arrows are should I teleport you to me?
I'm gonna do that.
No.
No I got it I got it.
Let me do it for real.
Okay, so how do I feed this thing?
No come over here.
That's my wolf.
I thought okay dad follow me.
Do you see me right here?
This is the wolf, okay?
Oh, you tamed it!
One click wolf love!
That was lucky.
Wow.
Let's head back to our base.
It will follow us.
Now, it's getting dark, right?
Yeah, so we better run.
Okay, because the freaks come out at night, right?
This is bad stuff at the end, right?
Yeah, Dad, just stay still for a second.
I want to do something.
I'm gonna throw an egg at you.
What?
Oh, I missed both.
Okay.
So now, night is coming, we're about to die, but you're busy throwing eggs at me.
Because priorities.
Yes, because priorities.
Here, you see me?
Yeah, I'm following you.
Do the wolves stay outside and guard?
No, they will come into your house with you.
Yep, alright, seems fine.
So I'm super low on food.
I have three foods, so I can't go fast.
Night Falls, Eggs Fly 00:01:38
All right.
But that's okay.
Can I push you?
Oh, that's rude!
Well, that would help, wouldn't it?
No, you can't push in Minecraft.
Oh.
Whoa.
What?
He licked me.
What?
I don't know.
I thought he did.
All right.
I'm so confused.
All right.
Oh, where... Oh, there's... Okay.
Can we... We can't get this stuff yet, right?
What stuff?
The food?
Is it too early?
Uh-oh, zombie!
What?
Where?
Oh.
What?
Your wolf... My wolf killed it.
Killed it.
Oh, wow.
That is handy.
All right.
Okay, let's get to the house, it's dark!
This reminds me of working up north and getting lost the last day before the airplane came.
Oh, seriously?
Oh yeah, we got lost, my friend and I, and unfortunately the guys we were working with hung a lantern outside of the tent, otherwise we would probably still be frozen there.
All right, so we're going in.
I'm taking the bed because I'm selfish.
We're both going to take the bed.
There are two beds.
Wait, do doggies come in?
Yeah, dad sleeps.
So cool.
3, 2, 1, click.
Okay, so this is, wait, this is the end of the show, right?
So we'll look forward to your feedback and let us know what you think and hopefully this makes sense to you and we'll see you next time.
Yeah, this was really fun.
Well, thank you so much for enjoying this latest free domain show on philosophy.
And I'm going to be frank and ask you for your help, your support, your encouragement, and your resources.
Please like, subscribe, and share, and all of that good stuff to get philosophy out into the world.
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