Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux - STEFAN MOLYNEUX OWNED IN MINECRAFT BY ISABELLA! Part 2
Aired: 2019-04-06
Duration: 38:51


=== Glitch in the Waterfall (14:37) ===

[00:00:00]  Alright, so we're back.
[00:00:01]  Yeah, we're back.
[00:00:01]  We're back, and we are doing part two.
[00:00:02]  By the way, I just... sorry for interrupting.
[00:00:05]  Wait, did I even get three seconds into the combo before we get the interrupting butt?
[00:00:09]  No, but Dad, you started when you said, hey Izzy, you can do the intro.
[00:00:12]  You interrupted.
[00:00:14]  See?
[00:00:15]  It's only fair, isn't it?
[00:00:16]  Isn't it?
[00:00:17]  I officially withdraw my support for arguments, rationality, objectivity, and UPB.
[00:00:20]  Alright.
[00:00:21]  Alright, I give up on life.
[00:00:22]  I'm just gonna run out the door and drown.
[00:00:25]  Not an argument.
[00:00:26]  Oh wait, now I just gave up on arguments.
[00:00:27]  Wait, they're back.
[00:00:28]  Alright.
[00:00:28]  What?
[00:00:29]  I'm so confused.
[00:00:29]  So now... By the way, I just want to show this video.
[00:00:31]  Dad, get out of the way of the door.
[00:00:32]  I can't open it.
[00:00:33]  Yeah.
[00:00:33]  And you don't even have your pickaxe.
[00:00:34]  Oh, you do.
[00:00:34]  Okay.
[00:00:35]  So... I'm holding a death door of my memory.
[00:00:37]  Guys, I just wanted to show you.
[00:00:38]  Come in.
[00:00:38]  Come in.
[00:00:38]  Oh, come in?
[00:00:39]  Okay.
[00:00:39]  Then you see my video.
[00:00:40]  So there's this little thing.
[00:00:42]  Just look at me.
[00:00:42]  Yeah.
[00:00:44]  Is he now bouncing on the bed?
[00:00:46]  No, this is a thing in Minecraft.
[00:00:47]  I noticed it.
[00:00:48]  It's kind of like a glitch, I think.
[00:00:49]  Yeah.
[00:00:49]  Where when you jump on the bed, you just kind of stick up at the ceiling.
[00:00:53]  See?
[00:00:53]  And now watch, watch.
[00:00:55]  When I jump here, look.
[00:00:58]  See?
[00:00:58]  But you have an extra square to jump.
[00:01:00]  Like on the bed, it's only two squares.
[00:01:01]  No, but you stick up at the ceiling.
[00:01:03]  Ah, okay.
[00:01:03]  See?
[00:01:03]  Watch.
[00:01:05]  Okay, you are.
[00:01:06]  And your cube head goes into the ceiling.
[00:01:08]  Dad, see the chest?
[00:01:08]  Open it.
[00:01:10]  Open that chest!
[00:01:11]  It's right... No, that's the crafting table.
[00:01:13]  I'm sorry.
[00:01:15]  Uh, there, yeah.
[00:01:17]  Put all your, like, your ores and stuff.
[00:01:19]  You can just put everything you don't need.
[00:01:20]  Cobblestone?
[00:01:21]  Yeah, put it in the show.
[00:01:22]  Oakwood planks?
[00:01:23]  Yep.
[00:01:24]  Cobblestone.
[00:01:24]  Okay, so, listen, while I'm doing all this dull stuff, what are our plans for the amazing adventures you have planned for Daddy to keep his interest?
[00:01:33]  I'm scared now.
[00:01:35]  Alright, so we have built the house.
[00:01:37]  We have seen no monsters.
[00:01:38]  There have been precious little fighting.
[00:01:41]  Yeah, okay, so guys, listen.
[00:01:44]  So with this, I still like the left wing sign.
[00:01:48]  So right now we're basically going to try and build, get the obsidian.
[00:01:53]  We're probably going to cut that part out because it takes like two billion years.
[00:01:57]  Are you trying to hit me?
[00:01:58]  No, I'm just breaking.
[00:01:59]  Oh, I'm hungry.
[00:02:01]  Oh, I have food.
[00:02:01]  I can give you a bit of food.
[00:02:02]  Okay.
[00:02:03]  Now, what level of difficulty are we on?
[00:02:05]  We are, I think we're on easy.
[00:02:06]  Yeah.
[00:02:08]  It feels too easy.
[00:02:10]  It feels too easy.
[00:02:11]  Can you just change it without us changing?
[00:02:13]  Normal.
[00:02:14]  Closest I've ever been.
[00:02:15]  Oh!
[00:02:17]  Self-bird!
[00:02:19]  Self-immolation.
[00:02:21]  Dad!
[00:02:24]  You can't mine with an axe.
[00:02:26]  No, I know.
[00:02:27]  I'm keeping this for animals.
[00:02:28]  For attacks.
[00:02:30]  Sheep.
[00:02:32]  Why is my health down?
[00:02:33]  You didn't eat it, Dad.
[00:02:35]  It's right there.
[00:02:38]  I gotta go here.
[00:02:39]  No, sorry.
[00:02:40]  I gotta go to an inventory, right?
[00:02:42]  No, I just gave you the food.
[00:02:43]  It's right there.
[00:02:44]  Right beside your axe.
[00:02:45]  Oh!
[00:02:46]  How did you get it?
[00:02:47]  Okay.
[00:02:47]  I threw it at you.
[00:02:48]  And then I just eat it, right?
[00:02:49]  I threw it at you.
[00:02:51]  Okay, that does it.
[00:02:52]  You're not full, so your health will go up totally, but it doesn't matter.
[00:02:54]  Alright, that's fine.
[00:02:55]  So, if you see me, we're going to head over to that... my gosh.
[00:02:58]  So the next plan is to mine more stuff, but is there any fighting we can do that has a sense of purpose?
[00:03:02]  They will probably find monsters in the cave, now that's not normal.
[00:03:05]  Now this is the death drop, right?
[00:03:06]  Oh my goodness!
[00:03:06]  Oh my gosh!
[00:03:07]  Monsters spawn!
[00:03:08]  Let's go!
[00:03:08]  Where?
[00:03:09]  Monsters spawn.
[00:03:10]  Oh, you jump into the waterfall, and then you go down from there, right?
[00:03:14]  I'm taking the enchanted apple!
[00:03:17]  That is the bad beginning to just about every fairy tale I've ever read.
[00:03:20]  What?
[00:03:21]  Enchanted apples.
[00:03:23]  What do you mean by that?
[00:03:23]  Pretty much how iPads work, I think.
[00:03:25]  Woah, dude!
[00:03:25]  I just got hit by a skeleton!
[00:03:26]  Oh my god!
[00:03:28]  Where's the skeleton?
[00:03:29]  The skeleton's trapped in the waterfall!
[00:03:30]  It's trying to murder me!
[00:03:32]  I'm done!
[00:03:34]  Do we have keep your stuff?
[00:03:36]  If we die?
[00:03:36]  I'm going to double check.
[00:03:37]  Yeah, because I don't want to chicken out on that.
[00:03:39]  I really, really want to chicken out on that.
[00:03:40]  Yeah, okay.
[00:03:41]  All right.
[00:03:41]  Sorry.
[00:03:42]  Jake, can you please get out of the way?
[00:03:43]  Okay.
[00:03:44]  So, good.
[00:03:45]  Wait, I need to get- We had some adventure.
[00:03:47]  Some excitement.
[00:03:48]  I just killed- Can I pick up the arrow?
[00:03:49]  No.
[00:03:51]  No, I don't think so.
[00:03:51]  Let's check.
[00:03:52]  Lots of arrows around, right?
[00:03:53]  Okay.
[00:03:54]  I'm pretty sure it is.
[00:03:55]  Keep inventory, yeah.
[00:03:56]  Dude!
[00:03:56]  What?
[00:03:57]  There's a guy on fire here.
[00:03:58]  It's because there's a monster spawner.
[00:03:59]  Oh my goodness.
[00:04:00]  Can we destroy that?
[00:04:01]  Yeah, I'm going to have to.
[00:04:03]  E.
[00:04:04]  All right.
[00:04:08]  It's...
[00:04:09]  Sorry, when we see a monster spawner, I keep expecting Chelsea Clinton to come out.
[00:04:13]  Oh!
[00:04:14]  Oh!
[00:04:14]  Hillary Clinton burn, always viable.
[00:04:16]  Dad, come here.
[00:04:16]  See me?
[00:04:17]  Yes.
[00:04:17]  You have to... Oh, oh!
[00:04:20]  I'm coming.
[00:04:20]  They burn in daylight.
[00:04:21]  Get out of the water.
[00:04:22]  Okay.
[00:04:23]  Well, that was depressing life for him.
[00:04:24]  Now, did we get experience for killing the monsters?
[00:04:26]  Yeah.
[00:04:26]  All right.
[00:04:27]  Broke it!
[00:04:28]  I broke it!
[00:04:29]  I broke it!
[00:04:30]  Okay, good.
[00:04:31]  Good.
[00:04:31]  All right, so now what?
[00:04:32]  I'm just taking everything from the chest.
[00:04:33]  Oh, there's a chest.
[00:04:36]  Iron horse armor.
[00:04:37]  Yeah, that makes sense.
[00:04:38]  The bucket just vanished.
[00:04:40]  I just stole it.
[00:04:40]  It went invisible.
[00:04:42]  Dad, I took it!
[00:04:43]  Okay, fine.
[00:04:44]  Are we recording?
[00:04:45]  I'm just telling you guys, RIP headphone users.
[00:04:48]  You know what it is?
[00:04:49]  It's like, occasionally, some people will say, oh, Steph, I find your voice so soothing that I go to sleep to it.
[00:04:54]  This is not the show to go to sleep in.
[00:04:56]  Okay, dad, now swim up the waterfall.
[00:04:58]  All right.
[00:04:59]  I just died, so.
[00:04:59]  Yoggle goggle boggle, up the waterfall.
[00:05:03]  I am an itsy bitsy spider.
[00:05:04]  All right, here we go.
[00:05:07]  I keep doing that.
[00:05:08]  Okay, got it, got it.
[00:05:09]  So I'm up the waterfall.
[00:05:11]  Now what?
[00:05:12]  I'm almost up.
[00:05:13]  Now, just basically, oh, oh, oh.
[00:05:16]  Sorry, we still have a ways up.
[00:05:17]  And I just need to get my bucket so we can do that same little thing.
[00:05:20]  Because I got the bucket from the chest because it was very dumb of me to forget to bring one.
[00:05:24]  Crab Bucket.
[00:05:24]  You used to like that song when you were little.
[00:05:26]  What?
[00:05:27]  Crab Bucket it was called.
[00:05:28]  So you're going to have to jump to the waterfall.
[00:05:31]  Jump into it.
[00:05:32]  No time to get down because I'm moving up.
[00:05:34]  I'm going up the waterfall.
[00:05:35]  More?
[00:05:36]  Oh, Dad, you're going... Good, good, good.
[00:05:39]  Now what?
[00:05:40]  Oh, are we out?
[00:05:41]  Wait, I gotta get out!
[00:05:42]  I'm stuck!
[00:05:44]  Well, I'm out, I'm out, I'm out.
[00:05:45]  Okay, I'm blocked.
[00:05:46]  Wait, get out of my way.
[00:05:47]  Get it?
[00:05:48]  I'm blocked because it's Minecraft?
[00:05:49]  I don't know.
[00:05:51]  Dad jokes, oh my goodness.
[00:05:52]  Dad jokes, that's right.
[00:05:53]  There's nothing better than Dad Minecraft jokes.
[00:05:55]  No, they're really... yeah, there are a lot.
[00:05:56]  Okay, so we're out?
[00:05:57]  Yeah, let's head to that cave.
[00:05:59]  The other one, right?
[00:06:00]  Now, what did we get out of this other than the satisfaction of killing skeletons?
[00:06:03]  We got a lot of ore.
[00:06:04]  Like, at least, sorry, not ore.
[00:06:06]  Either ore?
[00:06:06]  Oh, that's a fine philosophy joke.
[00:06:09]  No, what?
[00:06:10]  Because the word ore has two meanings.
[00:06:13]  Yes, I get it!
[00:06:14]  No, it's very subtle.
[00:06:15]  No, it's not!
[00:06:16]  Alright.
[00:06:17]  Why are there so many sheep in this forest?
[00:06:19]  This is the place we went in before, right?
[00:06:21]  There are like 50 buildings.
[00:06:22]  I think it is, yeah.
[00:06:23]  Right here!
[00:06:24]  I found it!
[00:06:24]  Yeah.
[00:06:25]  I was just going to teleport you to me.
[00:06:26]  No, no, I'm here, I'm here.
[00:06:27]  No, you're in the wrong one, I think.
[00:06:28]  I'm right here.
[00:06:30]  Don't teleport me, that's cheating.
[00:06:31]  I just did it.
[00:06:33]  Okay.
[00:06:34]  Alright.
[00:06:35]  Now, I'm afraid I can't see because I've got the ring light going in my eyeballs.
[00:06:38]  It makes everyone think I'm possessed.
[00:06:40]  At least, I'm just going to get some of these.
[00:06:42]  There's your gift.
[00:06:43]  What?
[00:06:43]  Alright, nothing.
[00:06:44]  Alright.
[00:06:44]  And I'm just going to go get some torches from later on.
[00:06:47]  Yep.
[00:06:47]  Just because they're like right here.
[00:06:48]  Ooh.
[00:06:50]  It's okay, Dad.
[00:06:51]  Just getting a few torches.
[00:06:52]  Oh.
[00:06:53]  What?
[00:06:54]  It's getting dark.
[00:06:55]  Yes, Dad.
[00:06:56]  You're going to have to live with that.
[00:06:57]  My goodness.
[00:06:57]  You stole my torch!
[00:06:59]  Did I?
[00:07:00]  Yeah, you did.
[00:07:01]  I believe my color is different today.
[00:07:03]  I thought I checked the white balance, but... Something in the West is having quite a bit of trouble.
[00:07:08]  Uh-oh!
[00:07:09]  Skeleton!
[00:07:10]  Where?
[00:07:10]  Where?
[00:07:11]  Where are you?
[00:07:11]  Are you down below?
[00:07:12]  It's scary.
[00:07:13]  No, I'm not.
[00:07:14]  It's in the waters.
[00:07:15]  It's just trying to murder me over here.
[00:07:17]  Because, you know, that's healthy.
[00:07:19]  Fish bone.
[00:07:19]  Oh, look, I just got a bow and arrow.
[00:07:21]  A bow.
[00:07:22]  Oh, I want a bow and arrow.
[00:07:23]  I love bows and arrows in Skyrim.
[00:07:24]  Except, Dad, I'm just gonna be honest that it's almost used because apparently... Oh, I see something down here.
[00:07:29]  Oh, that's the spider from last time.
[00:07:30]  That is one patient spider that is very hungry.
[00:07:34]  Well, I'm gonna play some- Come up the water spout!
[00:07:36]  It's a bit- Okay, I'm gonna go.
[00:07:38]  No!
[00:07:38]  Wait, there's two things down here.
[00:07:40]  Creeper!
[00:07:40]  Creeper!
[00:07:41]  Is that bad?
[00:07:42]  Dad, it just exploded.
[00:07:44]  I'm down to, like, half health.
[00:07:45]  Alright.
[00:07:46]  Wait, there's lava!
[00:07:47]  That's why it's light!
[00:07:49]  Okay.
[00:07:49]  I bet you- Obsidian!
[00:07:52]  And redstone.
[00:07:53]  But forget the redstone.
[00:07:57]  Here, we got a lot of obsidian here.
[00:07:59]  Should I get the redstone since you're doing that?
[00:08:00]  Forget the redstone, Dad.
[00:08:01]  We both need to get our obsidian.
[00:08:03]  We're going to cut this off.
[00:08:03]  Oh, this is the obsidian?
[00:08:04]  We're going to cut this off the video.
[00:08:05]  Oh, come on.
[00:08:06]  Is this slow or what?
[00:08:07]  It's slow.
[00:08:07]  Is it breaking?
[00:08:08]  Yes, it's breaking.
[00:08:09]  But I have diamond.
[00:08:10]  Dad, you're using your axe.
[00:08:11]  Oh.
[00:08:12]  No, wait, you're not.
[00:08:12]  You're using... No, I'm using my diamond pickaxe.
[00:08:14]  That's what I want.
[00:08:14]  Yeah, it does break.
[00:08:15]  It does break, Dad.
[00:08:16]  I am mining straight down.
[00:08:17]  Just be patient this time.
[00:08:19]  Patient?
[00:08:20]  We need... I think we need 16.
[00:08:22]  So, Izzy, when someone... when a plague first starts, the first person who gets the plague is called patient zero.
[00:08:28]  Oh, right.
[00:08:28]  Yeah, now, patient zero is also the level of my patience in general.
[00:08:33]  Probably.
[00:08:33]  Just so you know.
[00:08:34]  Patience is to me a kind of disease that must be cured with hyper-stimulation.
[00:08:39]  What?
[00:08:39]  But at least I'm the only person in the family like that.
[00:08:41]  Totally.
[00:08:42]  Alright, hang on.
[00:08:43]  I feel bad that I named all our accounts Jenna Dragons.
[00:08:46]  That's alright.
[00:08:47]  Whenever I play, I'm like, Jenna Dragons.
[00:08:49]  And I'm like, now I want my name to be Apocalypse.
[00:08:50]  Because, you know, that's just peaceful.
[00:08:53]  Ah, okay, so I'm getting some obsidian.
[00:08:55]  What do we do with the obsidian?
[00:08:56]  We use it to build another portal.
[00:08:57]  I have six pieces of it.
[00:08:59]  I have... Oh!
[00:09:01]  I got a bow and arrow!
[00:09:02]  Yeah, because you killed a skeleton.
[00:09:03]  Can I repair the bow and arrow at all?
[00:09:05]  I think you can using an anvil, but I have no clue how to craft it, so don't ask me.
[00:09:09]  How to craft an anvil?
[00:09:10]  I'm sure you can.
[00:09:11]  I actually, yeah, I can kind of figure out how.
[00:09:13]  Stay away from my arm.
[00:09:15]  Stay away from my arm.
[00:09:16]  Izzy, should we tell anyone about the obsidian dragons in our roleplaying?
[00:09:19]  Oh yeah, you go ahead.
[00:09:21]  So we have these dragons in our roleplaying, which is kind of like a storytelling thing.
[00:09:25]  You've told roleplaying on a show, right?
[00:09:26]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:09:26]  So roleplaying is just a kind of verbal storytelling that we do.
[00:09:30]  And we have obsidian dragons, and they are the laziest dragons known to man.
[00:09:34]  Dad, sorry, I just placed lava on you.
[00:09:36]  I'm so sorry.
[00:09:36]  I didn't mean to.
[00:09:40]  I believe there's been some kind of glitch.
[00:09:43]  I believe that something has gone terribly, terribly wrong.
[00:09:46]  There, you're back.
[00:09:47]  I died?!
[00:09:48]  I was just looking at Respawn main menu.
[00:09:50]  Just click Respawn.
[00:09:51]  Wait, now technically that's not accurate.
[00:09:53]  Dad, I... No, no, no, hang on.
[00:09:55]  Daddy's making a long story.
[00:09:56]  No, no, no, he went back.
[00:09:57]  No, just please go to Respawn, Dad.
[00:09:58]  So, technically, I don't think it's true that I died.
[00:10:00]  Technically, I think it's true that I was killed.
[00:10:02]  No, I meant... Yeah, but you were in... Murdered by lava.
[00:10:05]  Alright, may I respawn?
[00:10:06]  Yeah.
[00:10:07]  Oh my goodness.
[00:10:09]  There.
[00:10:09]  Jenna Dragons tried to swim in lava.
[00:10:11]  I do not believe that that is actually accurate.
[00:10:13]  It's the way they say it.
[00:10:14]  We're pushed in lava.
[00:10:16]  All right.
[00:10:17]  Whoa.
[00:10:17]  Spiky lava dude.
[00:10:18]  So the obsidian dragons are lazy.
[00:10:20]  They follow other dragons and they pick up their kill, right?
[00:10:23]  So the dragons kill something.
[00:10:25]  They'll bury it or something.
[00:10:26]  They will hide it to get it later.
[00:10:29]  And the obsidians will follow them and just pick them up.
[00:10:31]  Except on the other side of the world, everything's opposite.
[00:10:33]  The obsidian dragons are obsessive.
[00:10:35]  About tidiness.
[00:10:36]  And hyper regimented.
[00:10:37]  Like they really are.
[00:10:38]  Everything has to be perfect.
[00:10:40]  They're very proactive.
[00:10:41]  And so on the other side of the world, everything's opposite.
[00:10:43]  How much obsidian do you have?
[00:10:45]  Oh, good question.
[00:10:46]  Let's see here.
[00:10:47]  I have one.
[00:10:48]  Oh, come on.
[00:10:49]  I thought I broke more than one.
[00:10:50]  Are you kidding me, Dad?
[00:10:50]  Maybe there's stuff that's still floating down there.
[00:10:53]  Sorry, I just needed to do something.
[00:10:54]  Yeah.
[00:10:57]  I got a piece of... Orange man bad.
[00:10:58]  What?
[00:10:59]  Oh, just my skin looks kind of orange.
[00:11:00]  I know.
[00:11:01]  Alright.
[00:11:01]  I'm just getting a bit more obsidian.
[00:11:03]  Alright.
[00:11:04]  We can fix it in post-production.
[00:11:05]  What?
[00:11:06]  Never mind.
[00:11:06]  I have eleven pieces, now twelve.
[00:11:08]  Alright, so how many do we need for this nether?
[00:11:09]  I think sixteen.
[00:11:11]  All right.
[00:11:13]  Should I just get more redstone, because I might as well do something?
[00:11:15]  Yeah, might as well.
[00:11:19]  Oh, nice.
[00:11:21]  Yeah, I can see these diamond pickaxes.
[00:11:22]  It's like a knife through butter, as they used to say when I was a kid.
[00:11:26]  All right.
[00:11:28]  Now it would be a rocket launcher through a noob.
[00:11:31]  A noob?
[00:11:31]  Yeah, Unreal Tournament 3 is out and it's, well it's been out for a while, but it's kind of disappointing.
[00:11:36]  Alright.
[00:11:36]  Oh it is?
[00:11:37]  Why is that?
[00:11:37]  Well, I don't know, it just doesn't seem to have quite the polish and excitement and of course nobody's playing it.
[00:11:41]  Unreal Tournament was like my big shooty game when I was younger.
[00:11:45]  It was the first real network game that I got into.
[00:11:47]  Doom was okay, but Unreal Tournament was fantastic.
[00:11:50]  Here, I'm just getting another two pieces.
[00:11:53]  Alright, so we're heading back up?
[00:11:54]  I'm sorry about this, we're going to cut this out of the video.
[00:11:56]  No, no, it's fine, it's fine, we're chatting.
[00:11:59]  We're ambling, we're chatting.
[00:12:01]  Alright.
[00:12:03]  Somehow I ate more.
[00:12:04]  No!
[00:12:04]  What?
[00:12:05]  Maybe I feasted on a skeleton.
[00:12:06]  One second.
[00:12:06]  So I need to try and figure out how to make an anvil, right?
[00:12:09]  I'm just going to do something.
[00:12:11]  Nature.
[00:12:11]  Items.
[00:12:12]  Equipment.
[00:12:13]  Construction.
[00:12:13]  Oh, you normally do it at a crafting table, Dad.
[00:12:15]  Oh yeah?
[00:12:15]  Okay.
[00:12:16]  So I should first make a crafting table.
[00:12:18]  Should I put up some jack-o-lanterns here?
[00:12:19]  Just give me a second.
[00:12:21]  Alright.
[00:12:22]  Patient zero has arrived.
[00:12:24]  Patients of zero.
[00:12:30]  Okay, I got the obsidian.
[00:12:31]  Alright.
[00:12:32]  Oh!
[00:12:32]  Uh, no, I need a weapon, right?
[00:12:34]  Uh, that is a diamond axe.
[00:12:37]  Uh, you can use diamond axe as a weapon.
[00:12:39]  Please don't get blown up.
[00:12:40]  And do not eat the rotten food.
[00:12:42]  The rotten flesh.
[00:12:43]  Oh, you just called it a zombie?
[00:12:44]  I thought it was a creeper.
[00:12:45]  No, it was a zombie.
[00:12:46]  Oh, that's fat.
[00:12:47]  I like zombies.
[00:12:48]  They're funny.
[00:12:48]  He's an NPC.
[00:12:50]  Which philosophers regularly slay intellectuals?
[00:12:52]  One second.
[00:12:52]  That's just for light.
[00:12:54]  Oh, I thought it was another murder weapon.
[00:12:56]  I died.
[00:12:57]  Can I make a suggestion?
[00:12:58]  Go into it dad, quickly, so we can spawn together.
[00:13:01]  Oh, okay.
[00:13:02]  Whoa, something's hitting me.
[00:13:06]  See, now this is the kind of combat that gets daddy's excitement going.
[00:13:10]  There you go, you're safe now.
[00:13:11]  Alright.
[00:13:12]  And now?
[00:13:13]  See me?
[00:13:13]  I'm big, over here.
[00:13:15]  Yeah, now where do we go?
[00:13:16]  So we have the obsidian, do we have enough?
[00:13:18]  Yeah, I've got... I've got, do you want me to give you yours?
[00:13:20]  I have 17 pieces.
[00:13:20]  Do you want me to give you mine?
[00:13:22]  Yeah, I have some keys.
[00:13:22]  Okay, I'm gonna give you mine.
[00:13:23]  I just threw it out here.
[00:13:24]  Okay, thanks.
[00:13:25]  Actually, no, pick it up.
[00:13:26]  Alright.
[00:13:27]  Sorry.
[00:13:28]  Here, swim up our waterfall.
[00:13:30]  It's the easiest way to get up to our house.
[00:13:31]  Oh, cool.
[00:13:36]  There's only one thing I think that is missing from Minecraft so far.
[00:13:38]  Not that I'm complaining, it's just a mild suggestion.
[00:13:41]  What?
[00:13:41]  That there's no way to do slow motion goat calls.
[00:13:44]  Oh yeah!
[00:13:44]  Goat simulator!
[00:13:45]  Oh guys, I'm just telling you, any listeners who haven't played that need to because it is absolutely- You need to play the Capture the Flag mode in Goat Simulator.
[00:13:52]  It is quite hysterical.
[00:13:53]  Oh my goodness, we are so hysterical.
[00:13:54]  It's insane.
[00:13:55]  It's like- No!
[00:13:57]  The music when you win, it's- Wait, what's your imitation of it?
[00:14:05]  It's the saddest dying horn.
[00:14:07]  Dad, can you please move out of the way?
[00:14:08]  I'm going to build my portal here.
[00:14:10]  Okay, where do you want me to go?
[00:14:11]  Anywhere, just do something.
[00:14:13]  Go kill some animals.
[00:14:14]  Alright.
[00:14:15]  Sounds healthy.
[00:14:17]  Can I go plant some pretty flowers?
[00:14:20]  Yes, that would be lovely.
[00:14:21]  Oh no.
[00:14:22]  Oh, I should go and see if I can make a repair.
[00:14:26]  My bow and arrow, right?
[00:14:28]  It's somewhere in the crafting table.
[00:14:30]  I can make what?
[00:14:32]  Not much apparently.
[00:14:34]  What?
[00:14:35]  Arrow of Leaping.
[00:14:36]  You don't have anything, that's why.

=== Damage to Mushrooms (09:26) ===

[00:14:37]  I got nothing.
[00:14:38]  You need cobblestone, I think.
[00:14:40]  Clothing?
[00:14:41]  What?
[00:14:43]  So, you don't know how to repair stuff, because I have a bow, but it's almost toasted, right?
[00:14:47]  Okay, I sure hope I built the right shape.
[00:14:48]  I mean, I didn't exactly, because, you know, reasons, but... See, we talked about this before.
[00:14:51]  I thought that the portal was going to take forever.
[00:14:54]  Like we're going to have to cut everything out, it's going to be hours and hours.
[00:14:56]  Well no, it's so lucky that we found that obsidian.
[00:14:59]  I just saw Lala and I saw a light, so I'm like, I bet you... Did me having the flesh melting from my bones, did that have anything to do with us finding stuff?
[00:15:05]  No.
[00:15:06]  No.
[00:15:06]  Actually, it probably did.
[00:15:08]  It was just general footnotes.
[00:15:09]  Just say it did, so the sacrifice feels worth it.
[00:15:11]  Okay.
[00:15:11]  Okay, I'm jumping through the portal to a tree.
[00:15:13]  Oh my god!
[00:15:13]  That, it's not, it doesn't even have flint and steel.
[00:15:15]  I made a mistake in building it, so I just need to break the obsidian again.
[00:15:21]  I'm awake!
[00:15:22]  I'm awake!
[00:15:23]  Not peaceful childing.
[00:15:24]  That does not apply in this family.
[00:15:25]  It's peaceful parenting.
[00:15:27]  Not necessarily peaceful childing.
[00:15:29]  Although, we did actually have some hopes that this might be the case, but we're seeing.
[00:15:34]  That is one small portal.
[00:15:35]  I can see the trees on the other side though.
[00:15:36]  Is that the nether?
[00:15:38]  Just kidding.
[00:15:38]  Just kidding.
[00:15:40]  NETHER DOESN'T HAVE TREES!
[00:15:42]  It doesn't have trees?
[00:15:43]  No.
[00:15:43]  The nether is... What?
[00:15:46]  Is it hell?
[00:15:46]  Basically.
[00:15:47]  Alright.
[00:15:49]  All right, so you're taking me back to my childhood.
[00:15:53]  Oh!
[00:15:53]  Family burn!
[00:15:54]  Family virgin burn!
[00:15:54]  No, what?
[00:15:55]  Virgin?
[00:15:55]  What?
[00:15:56]  All right, what do we got here?
[00:15:58]  Give me one second.
[00:15:59]  I need some blocks.
[00:16:00]  Iron ore and coal?
[00:16:01]  What does that make me?
[00:16:03]  Let's find out.
[00:16:03]  I just need some blocks.
[00:16:04]  I'm going to grab them from the chest.
[00:16:05]  Ah, the progress bar.
[00:16:07]  What?
[00:16:08]  Even that is pretty conservative.
[00:16:09]  Dad, why didn't you put the... Why didn't you put the... Iron ingot!
[00:16:12]  Yay.
[00:16:12]  Now, what if I make redstone and coal?
[00:16:14]  What does that get me?
[00:16:16]  What is it, Steve?
[00:16:17]  Nothing.
[00:16:18]  Nothing is happening.
[00:16:19]  I don't know.
[00:16:19]  Alright, what about Iron Horse Armor and Cold?
[00:16:22]  Does that get me a robot horse?
[00:16:23]  I hope so!
[00:16:24]  I need a robot horse that breathes fire and flies.
[00:16:26]  Dad!
[00:16:28]  It's not my game, of course, but that's what it would be if it was.
[00:16:31]  Thank goodness it isn't.
[00:16:33]  Oh, I got an Iron Nugget.
[00:16:34]  Oh, good for you, Dad.
[00:16:36]  Now, you know what would be cool?
[00:16:37]  What's bad for your teeth is Iron Nougat.
[00:16:39]  That would be...
[00:16:40]  That would be very dumb.
[00:16:41]  Okay, what is a stick?
[00:16:43]  This is just experimentation.
[00:16:44]  Stick and coal.
[00:16:45]  Should get fire.
[00:16:46]  No, nothing.
[00:16:47]  Okay, what do I get here if I put in obsidian and coal?
[00:16:52]  Nothing.
[00:16:53]  Alright.
[00:16:55]  And I think that's it.
[00:16:55]  Rotten flesh and coal.
[00:16:59]  Something with a vindaloo in it.
[00:17:00]  Oh, we have flint.
[00:17:01]  I've just got to go into my crafting table.
[00:17:03]  Alright.
[00:17:04]  So now what?
[00:17:05]  I'm just making the flint and steel.
[00:17:07]  Oh, for the portal?
[00:17:09]  Yeah.
[00:17:13]  I'm just telling you that if we're not somewhere new, I'm going to start singing songs in no rush, no pressure.
[00:17:19]  It's just the way things are.
[00:17:21]  I'll give you like 60 seconds and then I'm going to sing.
[00:17:24]  I got it!
[00:17:24]  In a very high falsetto.
[00:17:25]  I got it!
[00:17:26]  I got it!
[00:17:26]  No Dad, don't say it!
[00:17:27]  There's motivation for you.
[00:17:28]  Don't say it!
[00:17:28]  There's motivation for you.
[00:17:29]  No, I beg you!
[00:17:30]  I beg you!
[00:17:30]  Wait, wait, wait.
[00:17:31]  Can we go through?
[00:17:32]  Yeah, go through.
[00:17:32]  Get in.
[00:17:33]  Get in!
[00:17:33]  This is the dreamy stuff that I dropped in on the first one, right?
[00:17:36]  Yeah.
[00:17:36]  Alright.
[00:17:37]  Sure, I hope we got a good terrain.
[00:17:38]  Building terrain.
[00:17:40]  Alright.
[00:17:41]  Can I see anything?
[00:17:42]  I just fell into my desk!
[00:17:43]  Wait, which way do I go?
[00:17:44]  I don't know, Dad!
[00:17:47]  I am not a big fan.
[00:17:48]  I got murdered.
[00:17:49]  This is very post-modern.
[00:17:50]  Just move.
[00:17:51]  Alright, but I don't want to get... Oh!
[00:17:53]  Oh, I'm out.
[00:17:55]  Oh, ew.
[00:17:55]  Wait, floaty things.
[00:17:57]  What are these?
[00:17:57]  Those are ghasts.
[00:17:58]  Run!
[00:17:59]  Ghasts?
[00:17:59]  Are they friendies?
[00:18:01]  Do they look like friendies?
[00:18:02]  No, they're giant floaty octopuses.
[00:18:04]  Octopi.
[00:18:06]  Oh wow, that's trippy.
[00:18:07]  What?
[00:18:08]  Trippy?
[00:18:08]  Trippy.
[00:18:09]  Sorry, it just means like it's, uh... Whoa.
[00:18:12]  Oh, there's... Oh, there's friendlies marching down there.
[00:18:15]  Let's go hug them.
[00:18:15]  What?
[00:18:16]  Friendlies.
[00:18:16]  See?
[00:18:18]  Ah!
[00:18:19]  Am I burning?
[00:18:19]  Yeah, you are.
[00:18:20]  Why am I burning?
[00:18:20]  I think you got hit by a ghast.
[00:18:22]  Oops.
[00:18:23]  I don't want to do any... Come on.
[00:18:24]  You're at one health!
[00:18:25]  Oh, I feel so bad!
[00:18:27]  Okay, I'm gonna go hide on the other side of the portal and I'm gonna eat some food, right?
[00:18:30]  Doesn't that get me, uh... Ghasties!
[00:18:34]  Did you fall again?
[00:18:35]  Oh dear, oh dear.
[00:18:36]  I don't have any food!
[00:18:38]  What happened to my porkchops?
[00:18:40]  You ate them.
[00:18:40]  No, I think there was still some left.
[00:18:42]  Do you have any food?
[00:18:42]  I'm just talking- Dead end dragons discovered floor was lava.
[00:18:47]  Now when you come back, do you come back in the nether or somewhere else?
[00:18:51]  Um, somewhere else.
[00:18:55]  Whoa, hello.
[00:18:56]  Can you get me a food?
[00:19:00]  Now, can we attack these guys?
[00:19:02]  Sorry, my microphone just fell off.
[00:19:04]  Sorry, microphone.
[00:19:05]  Alright, let me hold your tablet.
[00:19:06]  There.
[00:19:11]  Alright.
[00:19:12]  Hello, microphone again.
[00:19:13]  So...
[00:19:15]  So now, we can edit that.
[00:19:17]  That's at 20 minutes.
[00:19:20]  Okay, so now we're in the nether.
[00:19:22]  And what do we do?
[00:19:23]  I thought the nether was going to be more complicated.
[00:19:24]  Oh, isn't there an ender dragon I've heard of, right?
[00:19:26]  Yeah.
[00:19:26]  Oh, something's following you.
[00:19:28]  Now, can we kill a ghast?
[00:19:30]  Uh, yeah.
[00:19:30]  You need to shoot back its fireballs using a stone sword, which I currently completely forgot about.
[00:19:35]  You shoot back its fireballs?
[00:19:37]  Yeah.
[00:19:38]  Hello, ghast!
[00:19:39]  Get over here!
[00:19:39]  What?
[00:19:40]  Can I just not hit it?
[00:19:40]  Oh, do you have a bow and arrow?
[00:19:41]  You can do that, right?
[00:19:44]  Now, do we find a way down?
[00:19:46]  Is that the plan?
[00:19:47]  I'm going to go down and explore.
[00:19:50]  I killed it in one hit!
[00:19:51]  Oh, that's good, right?
[00:19:53]  I need to go get a... Sorry, I'm okay.
[00:19:55]  I'm okay!
[00:19:56]  Can I collect these mushrooms?
[00:19:58]  Sure, if you want.
[00:20:00]  Do I have to break them, right?
[00:20:01]  And then I can pick them up?
[00:20:02]  Yeah.
[00:20:03]  Alright, fair enough.
[00:20:04]  Oh look, I have a bucket of lava in the middle.
[00:20:06]  I'm okay.
[00:20:08]  These random gasps are very exciting.
[00:20:10]  Alright, so can I... No, I don't think I can find any way down from here.
[00:20:14]  Oh, how did you get down there?
[00:20:15]  I jumped.
[00:20:16]  Doesn't that hurt?
[00:20:17]  Sure does.
[00:20:19]  Just don't jump with a spoon.
[00:20:20]  All right, I'm jumping.
[00:20:21]  I'm sure I'll be fine.
[00:20:22]  Oh, just a little bit of damage.
[00:20:23]  All right.
[00:20:24]  Now, do I hack these guys?
[00:20:26]  I'm gonna... No, don't!
[00:20:27]  If you attack one, then all the others in the surrounding area... Oh, so they're non-aggression, right?
[00:20:31]  So they are the non-aggression principle.
[00:20:33]  So if you don't initiate force against them, then they won't initiate force against you, right?
[00:20:38]  I'm just mining the ore.
[00:20:39]  Hang on, there's something here.
[00:20:40]  What's this?
[00:20:42]  It's nether quartz.
[00:20:43]  Do I want that?
[00:20:44]  Sure.
[00:20:45]  I think you do.
[00:20:45]  I'm not exactly sure.
[00:20:46]  I feel I do.
[00:20:47]  I totally should have watched a video for this.
[00:20:49]  It's okay, I like it.
[00:20:50]  No, no, no, because that would have been Daddy's suggestion to watch a video.
[00:20:52]  Yes, it would have been.
[00:20:54]  So that can't be right.
[00:20:55]  Now I'm afraid to go down here.
[00:20:56]  Oh no, I should be able to find my way back up, right?
[00:20:57]  Can I see, Dad?
[00:20:59]  I'll be good.
[00:21:01]  Yeah, I think I may have, oops, I think I may have at some point suggested that we watch a video to know what's coming next.
[00:21:05]  No, dad, dad.
[00:21:06]  You said, good heavens no, that's madness.
[00:21:07]  No, dad, I do think, the reason, one reason why I said that was because I think it would have been hilarious.
[00:21:15]  If we don't know what we're doing?
[00:21:16]  If we have no clue what the heck we're supposed to do.
[00:21:18]  Uh, can I tell you something?
[00:21:19]  What?
[00:21:19]  I don't have a clue what the heck I'm supposed to be doing.
[00:21:21]  Then good.
[00:21:21]  So what are we doing down here?
[00:21:22]  Can I smack you?
[00:21:24]  What are we doing down here, peaceful child?
[00:21:26]  I wanna go kill these guys!
[00:21:28]  The guys you just told me not to attack?
[00:21:30]  Uh, yeah, you can attack him now because we're friends.
[00:21:32]  Oh, he has an enchanted gold sword!
[00:21:34]  I need a diamond axe, right?
[00:21:36]  Gold swords are absolute- Now if we both die, can we come back?
[00:21:40]  No, they won't.
[00:21:41]  They don't do much damage if you know how to hit them.
[00:21:42]  See?
[00:21:44]  You just died!
[00:21:45]  What the heck?
[00:21:46]  They don't do much damage if you die!
[00:21:48]  If you know how to hit them!
[00:21:50]  Oh my- Woah, gosh!
[00:21:52]  Wait, oh, I just come through here on the nether.
[00:21:53]  Okay, so we- okay, so- Hi.
[00:21:56]  Let's go find some more zombie pigmen to kill.
[00:21:59]  Oh dad, this is your pickaxe.
[00:22:00]  It kind of went flying.
[00:22:01]  Okay, now, question.
[00:22:02]  You said that they don't do much damage if you know how to hit them.
[00:22:06]  And you just kind of have to back off and smack them.
[00:22:09]  Okay, sounds like a parenting magic.
[00:22:12]  Look at all the red mushrooms!
[00:22:13]  Look at all the red mushrooms on my screen.
[00:22:15]  Wait, where are you?
[00:22:15]  I'm right here.
[00:22:16]  Oh yeah, there you go.
[00:22:16]  Okay.
[00:22:17]  Do you see all the red mushrooms?
[00:22:18]  Uh, yes.
[00:22:18]  Mushrooms?
[00:22:19]  Dad?
[00:22:19]  Now where do we go?
[00:22:20]  Um, well, I think we should try and find a stronghold, but I don't know if... Can we build a home here?
[00:22:25]  Oh goodness, no.
[00:22:26]  Dad, you try and sleep and your bed explodes.
[00:22:29]  What?
[00:22:29]  Yeah.
[00:22:31]  What an insomniac nightmare.
[00:22:33]  Insomnia is when you can't sleep.
[00:22:35]  You know, like you until like midnight.
[00:22:37]  2 a.m.
[00:22:37]  in the morning.
[00:22:38]  Now, what have we got here?
[00:22:39]  I wanna go try something, Dad.
[00:22:41]  I'm gonna mine us a passage.
[00:22:43]  Yeah.
[00:22:43]  Um, basically... Now, do you know a passage?
[00:22:49]  How many different... How many different... I really don't care.
[00:22:51]  Hang on.
[00:22:52]  So exciting.
[00:22:53]  Like the passage in the book, kind of?
[00:22:55]  Yeah, yeah, passage in a book and a passage through.
[00:22:57]  Yeah.
[00:22:58]  Um... I'm gonna smack this ugly thing.
[00:23:01]  Okay.
[00:23:02]  Hey, ugly thing, you wanna be... Oh, I just pushed him into the lava, okay.
[00:23:06]  Ah, well, it's a good thing you got to practice that on me.
[00:23:08]  Peaceful parenting.
[00:23:10]  Peaceful Minecrafting.
[00:23:11]  There we go.
[00:23:12]  Actually, we're doing pretty well, because we are not actually... I mean, we're not doing too much.
[00:23:16]  I think we're killing fewer things now than we did on the last game.
[00:23:19]  Killing fewer things?
[00:23:20]  Or maybe being dying less?
[00:23:24]  No, I think we've been dying... Yeah, we've been dying more on this one.
[00:23:27]  Yeah, probably.
[00:23:27]  Mostly not by monsters.
[00:23:29]  For me, monsters and fire.
[00:23:30]  Me.
[00:23:31]  Yeah, and you.
[00:23:31]  Which makes you a monster.
[00:23:32]  Logically.
[00:23:33]  Alright.
[00:23:33]  What?
[00:23:34]  Now what?
[00:23:34]  What are we doing?
[00:23:35]  What are we doing?
[00:23:35]  Oh my goodness, dad!
[00:23:37]  Oh, leader!
[00:23:38]  What is our purpose?
[00:23:39]  Um, to kill zombie pigmen because they're fat.
[00:23:41]  Uh, are they fat?
[00:23:43]  You know, can I tell you something?
[00:23:45]  I really haven't complained much about the pixels, have I?
[00:23:47]  I just got an enchanted gold sword.
[00:23:50]  Smite number one, four points of damage.
[00:23:52]  How do I know how much damage my diamond pickaxe, or my diamond whatever it is does?
[00:23:56]  It tells you.
[00:23:56]  Uh, five diamond.
[00:23:58]  Attack, damage, bleh.
[00:23:59]  Whatever.
[00:24:00]  Oh, plus six attack damage.
[00:24:01]  Alright.
[00:24:01]  Oh, it was close.
[00:24:02]  Still didn't stop me from getting killed.
[00:24:03]  Alright, now what?

=== Tell Me If This Seems Familiar (02:19) ===

[00:24:04]  Here, wait!
[00:24:04]  I wanna head down here!
[00:24:05]  Alright, can I mine this stuff?
[00:24:06]  What is it?
[00:24:07]  What?
[00:24:08]  Oh, that is some slow mo- Oh no, it's because of the wrong thing.
[00:24:10]  Okay.
[00:24:11]  That's better.
[00:24:12]  It's falling into lava, Dad!
[00:24:13]  Run back!
[00:24:14]  Move back!
[00:24:14]  Alright, alright.
[00:24:16]  Follow me!
[00:24:17]  Where are you?
[00:24:17]  Because I'm Biggs.
[00:24:19]  Biggie Smalls.
[00:24:20]  Oh yeah, that's still funny.
[00:24:22]  Go.
[00:24:23]  Okay, so we're back in the house.
[00:24:24]  We're back in the house.
[00:24:25]  We died.
[00:24:26]  No, you died, and then you teleported me to you rather than you to me.
[00:24:29]  As an accident.
[00:24:30]  Okay, so we're back, but exciting developments have occurred.
[00:24:33]  We need one thing to do before we head back into the Nether.
[00:24:35]  Okay.
[00:24:36]  We need something to do.
[00:24:37]  So what we need to do is we need to get food because we are out of food currently.
[00:24:43]  Now, can we grow food?
[00:24:44]  Can we do high-tech agriculture?
[00:24:46]  Oh yeah, let's do a farm!
[00:24:48]  Let's do a farm.
[00:24:48]  I didn't think of that.
[00:24:49]  That would be super fun.
[00:24:51]  Wait, did I actually contribute something in Minecraft?
[00:24:53]  You came up with the idea!
[00:24:54]  You finally!
[00:24:55]  I believe that the Earth has now tilted on its axis and the end times have approached.
[00:24:59]  I think so.
[00:25:00]  What?
[00:25:02]  That may be a bit of a slight exaggeration.
[00:25:04]  I think so.
[00:25:04]  Probably not.
[00:25:04]  Just a little bit though.
[00:25:07]  Alright, I look like a basically just rubbed orange peel all over my face before the recording.
[00:25:11]  I just want to let you know.
[00:25:13]  From my angles?
[00:25:14]  Wait, wait, wait.
[00:25:15]  Okay, Izzy, quick question.
[00:25:16]  So look at the screen here.
[00:25:18]  Tell me if this seems at all familiar.
[00:25:21]  Wait, hang on.
[00:25:22]  Hey, Apple!
[00:25:25]  I just wanted to tell you something.
[00:25:27]  So from my angle, since I'm sitting down super low, you know when you look at a screen from a weird angle and it kind of looks gray?
[00:25:32]  Yeah.
[00:25:32]  So you literally look like fire right now.
[00:25:35]  Hey, Apple!
[00:25:35]  Because I'm sitting like two feet below the screen and kind of far away.
[00:25:38]  Annoying orange reference, which we watched a couple of years ago.
[00:25:41]  Hey, Apple!
[00:25:41]  Yeah, you showed me like a few of those clips.
[00:25:43]  It was hilarious.
[00:25:43]  Yeah, they were funny.
[00:25:45]  I think people have a new ringtone.
[00:25:46]  Hey, Apple!
[00:25:50]  I want to go to a shareholder meeting for Apple.
[00:25:52]  Hey, Apple!
[00:25:53]  Throw!
[00:25:54]  I should stop that.
[00:25:56]  It's going to hurt my voice, people's ears, and everyone's patience.
[00:25:58]  Probably.
[00:25:59]  Alright.
[00:26:00]  I mean, yeah.
[00:26:01]  Yeah, probably.
[00:26:02]  So, let's... Dad, grab the sticks from inside the chest.
[00:26:12]  Oh, stone pickaxe, iron pickaxe, sticks, torch.
[00:26:15]  Can I take some torches?
[00:26:16]  Yeah, I'll take those.
[00:26:18]  I have two sticks already.
[00:26:18]  Take a little bit of iron.
[00:26:19]  There's no sticks in here.
[00:26:22]  In the large chest?

=== Ground Already Sticks Flat (06:28) ===

[00:26:23]  Yeah, you just took them, didn't you?
[00:26:24]  No, I just took torches.
[00:26:26]  I have two sticks.
[00:26:26]  Does that help?
[00:26:27]  Yep, you have enough sticks.
[00:26:28]  Oh, I have what?
[00:26:29]  Nether what?
[00:26:30]  Oh, soul sand.
[00:26:31]  Okay, I can't read that.
[00:26:32]  Nether something or other.
[00:26:32]  Okay.
[00:26:33]  I need you to take...
[00:26:35]  Uh, two iron from the chest.
[00:26:36]  You see it?
[00:26:37]  Uh, ingots, right?
[00:26:38]  Yeah, iron.
[00:26:38]  I have three in total, if that helps.
[00:26:40]  Okay, that's good.
[00:26:41]  Alright.
[00:26:41]  So, head in there.
[00:26:42]  And now?
[00:26:43]  You see iron hoe?
[00:26:45]  Go into the chest.
[00:26:46]  Sorry, crafting table, sorry.
[00:26:48]  Uh, crafting table, alright.
[00:26:49]  Um, so I need to make an iron hoe, right?
[00:26:52]  Iron hoe, yeah.
[00:26:53]  Got it.
[00:26:53]  Made.
[00:26:53]  Uh, let's put that where the bones are.
[00:26:56]  Assume we don't grow skeletons or anything like that.
[00:26:59]  No, I don't think so.
[00:27:02]  And now, let's head out, and now we need to find a grassy area, like a flat area where we can put our farm.
[00:27:07]  Alright.
[00:27:08]  Help me find one.
[00:27:09]  I'll give you a flat note on singing.
[00:27:12]  Do you remember that contest we did when we were driving up to the flat note thing when we were driving?
[00:27:18]  It was like, who could sing the worst on Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?
[00:27:22]  That's right.
[00:27:22]  And I remember, you sung it like really well, and then you were just like, at the end, twinkle twinkle little star.
[00:27:28]  It was like, you just slowly got worse from there.
[00:27:31]  Yeah, if you give good singing and then you give bad singing, the bad singing is even more like... It was just like the last Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and I sang it like basically it was that, and it was like hilarious.
[00:27:42]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:27:42]  Because you lure people in.
[00:27:45]  Alright, so now?
[00:27:46]  Okay.
[00:27:47]  So I think this is kind of a good flat area.
[00:27:50]  So we clear the trees?
[00:27:51]  Oh yeah, no, we don't need to clear the trees.
[00:27:54]  Okay.
[00:27:56]  So, let's just get a base out the area.
[00:27:58]  How do you do that?
[00:27:59]  Oh, you've got the hoe, right?
[00:28:00]  It's gonna get wet because we don't have any water yet.
[00:28:03]  Water bases.
[00:28:05]  Does the hoe... How are you doing that so quickly?
[00:28:07]  You just click it.
[00:28:08]  Click the ground.
[00:28:11]  No, that breaks it.
[00:28:11]  Oh no, no.
[00:28:12]  Touch the ground.
[00:28:12]  Just touch it.
[00:28:14]  See?
[00:28:16]  Oh, right click.
[00:28:16]  Sorry, sorry.
[00:28:17]  Okay.
[00:28:17]  It's okay.
[00:28:18]  No problem.
[00:28:18]  Oh, that's cool.
[00:28:20]  Oh, you have to break the grass.
[00:28:21]  Okay.
[00:28:21]  I'm just gonna do something super quick.
[00:28:22]  I need to go grab our bucket.
[00:28:23]  I completely forgot it.
[00:28:25]  Right.
[00:28:27]  All right.
[00:28:30]  Let's do one more here.
[00:28:32]  One more row here.
[00:28:32]  So this is our farming.
[00:28:34]  Okay, so this is like the sandboxy stuff, right?
[00:28:36]  Sandbox?
[00:28:37]  So sandbox means that you can play, like you know how in a sandbox you can build anything you want out of the sand?
[00:28:42]  Oh yeah.
[00:28:42]  So people talk about Minecraft like a sandbox, like you can do anything you want.
[00:28:46]  So here's where the farming comes in.
[00:28:47]  Now I'm going to get rid of a tree here because it's kind of in the way of our farming.
[00:28:53]  Yeah.
[00:28:53]  Wait, it's not a pickaxe?
[00:28:54]  What am I supposed to do here?
[00:28:55]  Pickaxe for trees?
[00:28:56]  Oh no.
[00:28:57]  X. Yeah.
[00:28:58]  Sorry.
[00:28:59]  There we go.
[00:29:00]  Oh yeah, that's like fast forward from the beginning, right?
[00:29:02]  Oh goodness, yeah.
[00:29:03]  Alright.
[00:29:03]  So, sorry.
[00:29:04]  Are you planting stuff, right?
[00:29:06]  No, what I'm doing is I'm breaking the ground and then I'm going to put in some... And you're breaking the ground with the... The water.
[00:29:11]  I'm putting in water.
[00:29:15]  Wait, I'm sorry.
[00:29:18]  There's different colored textures on here.
[00:29:21]  Oh yeah, some of them is just earth where it dried up.
[00:29:24]  Okay, so it dries, alright.
[00:29:27]  You know, I thought night time came and we had to hide, but this is like, it's the endless day, this is like Game of Thrones day.
[00:29:33]  No, I bet you when we went back to the nether, it became night time.
[00:29:36]  Oh, this is called irrigation, right?
[00:29:38]  So this is when you... The water.
[00:29:39]  The water, okay.
[00:29:41]  That's interesting, alright.
[00:29:43]  Yeah, dude, day cycle is on.
[00:29:44]  Yeah.
[00:29:47]  Endless summer.
[00:29:49]  Alright, so now do we need seeds?
[00:29:51]  I have a sapling seed, but I don't think that does any good.
[00:29:53]  Oh, there's a wolf!
[00:29:55]  Cool.
[00:29:58]  You can tame those, it's like fun, but... One of the first jokes I ever heard, boo.
[00:30:01]  What?
[00:30:02]  I used to be a werewolf but I'm alright now!
[00:30:07]  That's kind of a dad joke.
[00:30:08]  Did a dad tell you?
[00:30:09]  It was in fact the dad.
[00:30:11]  Knew it!
[00:30:12]  Passing on the wisdom of the dad jokes.
[00:30:16]  Here, I'm just putting everything back.
[00:30:18]  So dad, you see the grass?
[00:30:19]  This is a little bit boring right here.
[00:30:23]  Oh, do we want to clear the grass?
[00:30:25]  Just break the grass and after a little while you'll get seeds.
[00:30:29]  Oh, I just got one.
[00:30:30]  But we don't want to plant grass, do we?
[00:30:31]  No, seeds give you wheat when they grow.
[00:30:34]  Oh.
[00:30:35]  So just break the grass.
[00:30:36]  It takes a little while.
[00:30:37]  I think it's like, I don't know, whatever, but... Do you think that this is teaching children patience?
[00:30:43]  No.
[00:30:44]  No?
[00:30:45]  No.
[00:30:45]  Oh, found a seed.
[00:30:46]  Oh, I just got... No, because kids, you know, notoriously, like especially with tablets and all that, they're kind of considered to be kind of hyper and they're lacking attention.
[00:30:54]  But if this game is kind of patient, like it does teach you kind of patience, right?
[00:30:59]  Yeah, but it's always exciting during the game.
[00:31:01]  Because you can't, like in some games, right, like Dragonvale and stuff.
[00:31:05]  Oh my gosh, you have to wait like three days.
[00:31:07]  You have to be patient.
[00:31:08]  Well, but there's a way to bypass that, right?
[00:31:10]  Yeah, but you have to also be patient to earn the resources to bypass that.
[00:31:14]  Yeah, yeah, but no, so with gems you can speed things up, but there's no speeding things up in Minecraft, right?
[00:31:18]  No.
[00:31:19]  Like there's no way to say, I spend a gem and therefore I'm gonna get, like I've only got one set of seeds here, right?
[00:31:25]  Oh, really?
[00:31:25]  I got seven.
[00:31:26]  Try mining it under trees.
[00:31:28]  Really?
[00:31:29]  Under trees you get the most seeds, I think.
[00:31:31]  Like, I mean, breaking the seeds that are beside the trees and stuff.
[00:31:34]  Oh, yeah, there's one.
[00:31:35]  See?
[00:31:35]  Can't reach it.
[00:31:36]  Must destroy tree.
[00:31:39]  It's a massive error in the game.
[00:31:40]  Yeah, can't reach under trees.
[00:31:43]  Okay, I have ten seeds.
[00:31:45]  Alright, so that's going to be enough to grow wheat, and then... When we break the wheat, we get wheat, and then we get extra seeds.
[00:31:50]  Are you ready for your Japanese proverb test?
[00:31:54]  No.
[00:31:55]  Nobody is ever ready for the Japanese proverb test.
[00:31:58]  Okay.
[00:31:58]  Japanese proverb test.
[00:32:00]  Excuse me?
[00:32:02]  Japanese proverb test.
[00:32:03]  Does that mean like the farming thing for like rice?
[00:32:06]  I don't know.
[00:32:06]  No.
[00:32:07]  So Japanese proverb test is this.
[00:32:11]  There's no point digging for water when you're already thirsty.
[00:32:15]  What does it mean?
[00:32:17]  I don't know!
[00:32:18]  What does it mean?
[00:32:19]  I'm not sure, Dad.
[00:32:20]  There's no point digging for water when you're already thirsty.
[00:32:24]  Or it's too late to dig for water when you're already thirsty.
[00:32:27]  What does it mean?
[00:32:29]  I'm not sure actually, to be honest.
[00:32:30]  This is like a complicated one.
[00:32:32]  I'm often pretty good at this, okay listeners?
[00:32:34]  Alright, so if you're already thirsty, how quickly do you need to drink?
[00:32:37]  Fast.
[00:32:38]  Right.
[00:32:39]  If you start digging for water, how long is it going to take you to get water?
[00:32:42]  A while.
[00:32:42]  Right, so it means don't wait for an emergency to plan ahead.
[00:32:45]  Yeah.
[00:32:46]  Right, so there's no point, or there's not much use digging for water when you're already thirsty.

=== No Point Digging (04:19) ===

[00:32:52]  So in total I've gotten 16 seeds.
[00:32:54]  Sorry for interrupting.
[00:32:55]  Okay, so I'm adding more seeds.
[00:32:56]  Oh, good!
[00:32:57]  Perfect, Dad.
[00:32:57]  Oh, they're already starting to grow.
[00:32:58]  This is like, okay, this is a little satisfying, I'm afraid.
[00:33:01]  I don't get satisfaction.
[00:33:02]  It's weird.
[00:33:03]  It's weird.
[00:33:04]  Okay, guys.
[00:33:04]  Okay, so I'm out of seeds.
[00:33:06]  So am I. So now what do we do?
[00:33:08]  Okay, we'll wait for these to grow and then we'll stop because then we'll have food, right?
[00:33:11]  And we'll plan for next time.
[00:33:12]  Yeah.
[00:33:13]  And by that I do mean plan.
[00:33:16]  So, let's do something.
[00:33:18]  So you see me?
[00:33:19]  Let's head back to our house.
[00:33:21]  Yep.
[00:33:21]  Right?
[00:33:22]  How long will these take to grow?
[00:33:23]  Um, they'll take maybe, like, a day-night cycle, not even.
[00:33:26]  Really?
[00:33:26]  Yeah, pretty quick.
[00:33:27]  Wow.
[00:33:28]  Well, I mean, only if the soil's watered, which it is, because I put water there.
[00:33:32]  Sorry, I just messed up.
[00:33:33]  I'm trying to climb.
[00:33:34]  I cannot climb.
[00:33:35]  Alright, so we're back home.
[00:33:37]  Where's the sun?
[00:33:37]  The sun's still pretty high, right?
[00:33:39]  Sun's still... Oh, I can see it moving down.
[00:33:44]  Yeah.
[00:33:44]  Not very real.
[00:33:45]  Except, my goodness, Dad.
[00:33:48]  Sorry.
[00:33:49]  That will take a while.
[00:33:50]  Alright.
[00:33:51]  I'm just making some bone meal.
[00:33:53]  So we got... Now I'm not hungry anymore.
[00:33:55]  Okay.
[00:33:56]  So you see me... Dad, where the heck are you?
[00:33:58]  Wait, where are you?
[00:33:58]  Meet me in the front of the house.
[00:33:59]  I'm in the front.
[00:34:00]  Okay.
[00:34:01]  I have bone meal.
[00:34:02]  See?
[00:34:02]  And then maybe we can... I just broke... Oops.
[00:34:05]  I used a piece of bone meal.
[00:34:07]  I gave you seeds.
[00:34:08]  And now I'm obsessed with getting all the grass I can.
[00:34:10]  Yeah.
[00:34:10]  Just so you know.
[00:34:11]  Dad, if you hold seeds, there's a chicken currently staring at you.
[00:34:13]  Just hold the seeds.
[00:34:14]  Hold seeds.
[00:34:15]  Really?
[00:34:16]  They attract chickens.
[00:34:17]  Is it going to attack?
[00:34:18]  Can I feed it?
[00:34:19]  Yeah.
[00:34:20]  How do I do that?
[00:34:20]  Just click it.
[00:34:21]  Which, left or right?
[00:34:22]  I don't know, Dad.
[00:34:23]  I don't play on keyboard.
[00:34:23]  Ooh!
[00:34:26]  The chicken loves me?
[00:34:27]  No, it's if you get another... No, I've got a heart!
[00:34:28]  No, Dad, if you get another one with hearts, it'll mate.
[00:34:33]  Whoa.
[00:34:34]  Cute.
[00:34:35]  We've got a whole ecosystem going on here.
[00:34:37]  What?
[00:34:37]  Oh my God, it's a chicken egg!
[00:34:38]  Okay, sorry.
[00:34:40]  Cool, all right.
[00:34:41]  I thought the chicken loved me, but it only loves another chicken.
[00:34:43]  Yep.
[00:34:44]  So, with the bone meal, you can automatically kind of fast grow.
[00:34:51]  Oh, so it's kind of like a fertilizer.
[00:34:54]  Basically.
[00:34:54]  All right.
[00:34:57]  Oh, wow.
[00:34:57]  Nice, right?
[00:34:59]  So now we kind of speed.
[00:35:01]  Okay, let's go to the other place.
[00:35:03]  I'm gonna give you some bones, okay, Dad?
[00:35:07]  I sure hope this is enough.
[00:35:08]  What about all them chicken bones?
[00:35:11]  We're gonna try and tame wolves.
[00:35:12]  What?
[00:35:13]  This seems too hazardous for me.
[00:35:16]  Go to the other side.
[00:35:16]  Can't we just buy a tame wolf?
[00:35:18]  Let's be civilized about this.
[00:35:20]  Let's be civilized!
[00:35:21]  Do you remember that meme where the dog is saying, you know, oh, there's some friendly humans who want to feed me, what could go wrong, right?
[00:35:26]  And then like 10,000 years later it's in like a... Oh, there's a rabbit!
[00:35:29]  There's a rabbit!
[00:35:29]  Oh my god, it's running away.
[00:35:30]  It's in a funny tucky outfit.
[00:35:31]  Dad, there's a black rabbit and it just currently fell into a cave.
[00:35:34]  What?
[00:35:34]  Can we save it?
[00:35:35]  No.
[00:35:36]  They run away from you.
[00:35:37]  I think that's one, Dad!
[00:35:38]  What if I have a carrot?
[00:35:39]  I think I just found one!
[00:35:40]  What?
[00:35:40]  Where?
[00:35:41]  Found a what?
[00:35:42]  Oh, it's a chicken, nevermind.
[00:35:43]  Oh!
[00:35:44]  Chicken!
[00:35:44]  Seeds!
[00:35:45]  Feed!
[00:35:46]  Oh wait, oak sapling.
[00:35:47]  Oh!
[00:35:47]  Wait, no, I get seeds.
[00:35:48]  I gotta get seeds.
[00:35:50]  Pickaxe?
[00:35:50]  Iron bucket.
[00:35:51]  Here, I'm just breaking all this stuff so we get seeds.
[00:35:53]  I have two- I have three seeds.
[00:35:55]  Can you give me one?
[00:35:56]  I need to make friends with the chicken.
[00:35:57]  There's a wolf nearby!
[00:35:57]  I'm now obsessed with chicken love.
[00:35:58]  I see the wolf!
[00:36:00]  I'm gonna tame it!
[00:36:01]  Alright, alright.
[00:36:02]  I'm gonna be here in case it doesn't work.
[00:36:04]  Which- oh, it's getting dark!
[00:36:05]  It's tame!
[00:36:06]  Ooh, it's- what the?
[00:36:07]  No, but dad, it will fight for you.
[00:36:09]  Yeah, there's another one dad for here for you here.
[00:36:11]  I don't have it.
[00:36:12]  What do I need it?
[00:36:12]  You have three bones, okay?
[00:36:15]  Okay, put that where the arrows are should I teleport you to me?
[00:36:17]  I'm gonna do that.
[00:36:18]  No.
[00:36:18]  No I got it I got it.
[00:36:19]  Let me do it for real.
[00:36:20]  Okay, so how do I feed this thing?
[00:36:21]  No come over here.
[00:36:22]  That's my wolf.
[00:36:23]  I thought okay dad follow me.
[00:36:24]  Do you see me right here?
[00:36:26]  This is the wolf, okay?
[00:36:28]  Oh, you tamed it!
[00:36:30]  One click wolf love!
[00:36:31]  That was lucky.
[00:36:32]  Wow.
[00:36:33]  Let's head back to our base.
[00:36:34]  It will follow us.
[00:36:35]  Now, it's getting dark, right?
[00:36:37]  Yeah, so we better run.
[00:36:38]  Okay, because the freaks come out at night, right?
[00:36:41]  This is bad stuff at the end, right?
[00:36:43]  Yeah, Dad, just stay still for a second.
[00:36:44]  I want to do something.
[00:36:45]  I'm gonna throw an egg at you.
[00:36:47]  What?
[00:36:47]  Oh, I missed both.
[00:36:49]  Okay.
[00:36:51]  So now, night is coming, we're about to die, but you're busy throwing eggs at me.
[00:36:55]  Because priorities.
[00:36:56]  Yes, because priorities.
[00:36:58]  Here, you see me?
[00:36:59]  Yeah, I'm following you.
[00:37:01]  Do the wolves stay outside and guard?
[00:37:03]  No, they will come into your house with you.
[00:37:06]  Yep, alright, seems fine.
[00:37:08]  So I'm super low on food.
[00:37:10]  I have three foods, so I can't go fast.

=== Night Falls, Eggs Fly (01:38) ===

[00:37:12]  All right.
[00:37:12]  But that's okay.
[00:37:12]  Can I push you?
[00:37:14]  Oh, that's rude!
[00:37:15]  Well, that would help, wouldn't it?
[00:37:16]  No, you can't push in Minecraft.
[00:37:17]  Oh.
[00:37:19]  Whoa.
[00:37:19]  What?
[00:37:20]  He licked me.
[00:37:21]  What?
[00:37:21]  I don't know.
[00:37:22]  I thought he did.
[00:37:22]  All right.
[00:37:22]  I'm so confused.
[00:37:24]  All right.
[00:37:24]  Oh, where... Oh, there's... Okay.
[00:37:25]  Can we... We can't get this stuff yet, right?
[00:37:27]  What stuff?
[00:37:28]  The food?
[00:37:29]  Is it too early?
[00:37:30]  Uh-oh, zombie!
[00:37:31]  What?
[00:37:31]  Where?
[00:37:31]  Oh.
[00:37:32]  What?
[00:37:32]  Your wolf... My wolf killed it.
[00:37:34]  Killed it.
[00:37:35]  Oh, wow.
[00:37:36]  That is handy.
[00:37:39]  All right.
[00:37:39]  Okay, let's get to the house, it's dark!
[00:37:41]  This reminds me of working up north and getting lost the last day before the airplane came.
[00:37:47]  Oh, seriously?
[00:37:48]  Oh yeah, we got lost, my friend and I, and unfortunately the guys we were working with hung a lantern outside of the tent, otherwise we would probably still be frozen there.
[00:37:56]  All right, so we're going in.
[00:37:58]  I'm taking the bed because I'm selfish.
[00:37:59]  We're both going to take the bed.
[00:38:01]  There are two beds.
[00:38:01]  Wait, do doggies come in?
[00:38:02]  Yeah, dad sleeps.
[00:38:03]  So cool.
[00:38:04]  3, 2, 1, click.
[00:38:05]  Okay, so this is, wait, this is the end of the show, right?
[00:38:06]  So we'll look forward to your feedback and let us know what you think and hopefully this makes sense to you and we'll see you next time.
[00:38:13]  Yeah, this was really fun.
[00:38:14]  Well, thank you so much for enjoying this latest free domain show on philosophy.
[00:38:26]  And I'm going to be frank and ask you for your help, your support, your encouragement, and your resources.
[00:38:32]  Please like, subscribe, and share, and all of that good stuff to get philosophy out into the world.
[00:38:38]  And also, equally importantly, go to freedomain.com forward slash donate.
[00:38:43]  To help out the show, to give me the resources that I need to bring more and better philosophy to an increasingly desperate world.