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Dec. 3, 2017 - Roosh V - Daryush Valizadeh
13:34
Don't follow a girl's lead
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Damn, my beard's getting so white.
I'm turning into Santa Claus.
Anyway, today I want to talk about frame.
Now, frame is something that underlies every single human interaction that you have.
For example, let's look at the frame between a teacher and a student.
When you're a student and you go in a classroom, the underlying frame is that you know less than the teacher.
He is imparting knowledge upon you, and you have to essentially follow some instructions or guidance from the teacher.
You know, that's just the assumed frame, and you fit into that frame.
You mold into it without even really thinking about it.
Now, the frame between men and women are different.
It's the man is hunting for a woman, and during this hunt, he shows his value, his peacock.
He tries to impress her in direct and indirect ways so that she chooses him for a sexual relationship.
Now, there's nothing wrong with that frame.
It's a healthy frame in the sense that it abides by your masculine polarity and her feminine polarity.
The problem is, I see many guys give that frame up, give the frame ball to the woman, and now she is dictating what the interaction is doing.
And instead of you being the man that hunts her, that either gets her or not, that gets a yes or a no, you instead become like her bitch ass puppy dog waiting and waiting for some kind of answer, waiting for her to give some kind of signal.
When really, it's you escalating, you showing value, and she's coming along for the ride or not.
Because if she doesn't want to come along for the ride, then she can fuck off.
There's many other girls, right?
You don't wait.
You don't wait.
You don't let a woman dictate the terms of how this interaction is going.
Even though when you do hunt, she, of course, has the right to say no, right?
I mean, you can't do anything she doesn't want without her consent.
But at the same time, you only you can allow her to waste your time, to hurt you, to do things that you don't want.
So let's go over an example because I actually went out with a friend of mine.
We went to a bar on a weekend and we met two Belarusian girls.
And if you know these former Soviet Union girls, they're always slower than the Western European or the American girls.
I mean, they take more time.
I'm not saying they're good, good girls, but in terms of sex, they take longer.
So that said, when I met them, even though they were very attractive, mine was only staying in town for about a week.
You know, I don't see many possibilities there besides doing something the same night, going all the way.
I'm not going to go on three dates, four dates in a week just for the possibility of fornicating.
So what happened?
I was talking to my girl and it was going well.
She didn't speak English, but that's okay because I remember a lot of the Russian I learned when I lived in Ukraine.
And my friend was doing well with hers, with her friend as well.
Things were going pretty good.
Now the next step is to escalate it.
And how do you escalate it in a bar?
You take it to a dance floor.
Why?
Because 15 minutes on a dance floor will allow you to progress as much as three hours talking.
I don't know why, but you put a girl on the dance floor.
She lets you do anything almost.
It's amazing what they let you do.
You can grope her ass.
I mean, put your hands up her shirt.
She's grinding on your boner.
You can't do that sitting across from her in a bar.
You can touch her leg.
But you get a girl on a dance floor, man.
It really speeds things up.
And I know I'm too old for the nightclub.
But in terms of advancing in interaction really fast, clubs are pretty damn good.
I mean, nothing speeds it up faster.
So that said, my plan was to get them, get this whole group into the nightclub, which was a door down.
We go into the dance floor and let's see what is going to happen.
But there was a major problem.
My friend's girl, she wanted to finish her drink that she was nursing for so long that there were no ice cubes in that drink.
So the friend said, yeah, we'll go after this drink is done.
And the drink was basically full.
And it's 1 a.m.
And my girl seems down.
And my friend, you know, I guess he's not as hard as me.
So he was willing to wait.
Now, what do you do if you're me?
Well, you have three options.
The first option is to wait.
Now, what does waiting do?
I think you know.
It gives the frame to her.
We're now all her puppy dogs waiting for the princess to finish her warm drink that tastes like shit because all the ice is melted.
It looked like mud, honestly.
I don't know what that was.
The second option is to say, bitch, hurry up and finish your drink.
It's Saturday night.
I want to go dance and bang your friend.
The third option is to get up and fuck off.
Just leave.
So what did I do?
I said, all right, well, you still got a lot left to drink.
Hurry up and finish it.
And she gave me this face like, hurry up.
And I said, come on, drink it.
She was not happy.
I could see it.
And I didn't care because I'm not going to wait one hour for the princess to finish.
So I looked at my girl and told her, Look, you are nice, but I'm not going to stay here all night.
I'm ready to party and to dance.
And then she said, 10 minutes.
Just give her 10 minutes and then we will go.
And I knew it.
It's not going to take 10 minutes.
She was taking sips that were so small that when she takes a sip, the liquid level in her drink didn't even go down.
So I said, hold on.
I'm going to finish the drink that I got.
So I had like a little drink and I gulped that down within three minutes.
And then I got my coat.
I put it on.
I looked to my girl and I said, I'm going to the nightclub.
I'm not waiting for your friend.
You can come or not.
I told my friend, I said, I mean, he is a good guy.
I like him.
He's a younger guy.
I said, bro, I ain't going to wait for this bitch to finish.
I'm going to the nightclub now.
And he said, okay, cool.
I'm going to wait and then I'm going to come.
So I went alone.
Now this was the interaction with my girl was going well.
I was touching.
You know, we were, I was really, I mean, I basically had my hand permanently on her arm or side of her body.
It was going well.
But I didn't want to risk losing the frame because if she sees me so willing to wait for a girl I don't care about, her value, judgment of me goes down.
I'm no longer the dominant masculine man that she thinks that I am based on the way I came up to her and started the conversation.
So I fucked off.
I went to the nightclub alone.
I checked my coat.
I got a drink.
I checked out the local talent.
And I have to say, the club was trash.
Total garbage, people.
I mean, why do I go?
Maybe I'm garbage too, but Saturday night, nothing else to really do when you're a single man.
I'm looking at all the garbage here.
And I'm thinking, well, I forgot about my friend, the Bella Russian girls.
It's dead to me.
Once you walk away, that's it.
It's dead.
There's no, I hope.
There's no, I hope she comes back.
There's no, you know, because I think a woman can feel that kind of energy in a way that a man can't.
She can feel when a man hopes to see her again.
So I forgot about her.
I'm lining up eye contact with this slut, that slut.
Which one do I want to try and take home?
And then after half an hour, I see my friend come in and then he says, bro, your girl is asking about you.
She wants to know where you are.
And I thought, I'm not surprised.
Because once a girl sees that you are not willing to lose the frame, even if it entails a shot at losing the girl, the pussy gets wet.
It just does.
But five times out of 10, maybe more, you lose it.
That willingness to walk away has to be real, has to be genuine.
Okay?
You can't fake it.
You can't like, let me get your number and then I'm going to go to this club alone.
You have to terminate the interaction.
Terminate it.
Be ready.
Because that mindset, think of all the other men she has dealt with.
And I see it so often.
I see a guy talking to a cute girl in a club and he can't stop smiling.
It's like you can feel how happy he is to be talking to this girl right now.
Okay.
A woman can feel that.
She'll keep talking to you because now she is comfortable having the frame.
You are the servant, the bitch ass puppy dog, begging for that little treat so that you can get the pat on the head from this good-looking girl.
But girls won't fuck guys that do that.
They'll talk to them.
They'll recruit you for their beta orbiter orbit.
And then that's it.
So to make a long story short, the girl did come back.
A lot of excitement.
She was smiling.
It's so great when a girl is excited to see you.
It feels good, you know, because women get that all the time.
But us men, men are dirt, right?
We're so disposable.
Women, easy come, easy go.
So it does, I'll admit, it does feel good when a girl shows enthusiasm.
You don't get that now.
So the interaction was able to continue for an indeterminable amount of time.
And the point, though, is not what happened after that.
The point is this, too, is that one, either you have the frame in the interaction or she does.
And if she has the frame, the interaction will go for a long time as you entertain her, as she pats you on the back.
It can go for a long, long time, but it doesn't mean you'll get anything after that.
And the second thing is, when you give the indication that you're willing to walk away, a girl senses value.
She senses that your value is high because only a man who's getting bitches can walk away.
A man who's a virgin desperate, say on the other end of the spectrum, is he going to walk away?
He's going to hold on tight.
You know, he's not going to let go of her.
And you see that I have my, I have a friend, the same guy, he refers to these guys as a girl's keychain.
You know, they're just attached.
So that's all I wanted to say.
I just wanted to say to maintain frame.
You know, don't be afraid to walk away.
Most of the time, she won't come back, but that's okay because having that frame will pay off in the future interactions that you have with other girls.
So I hope you enjoyed that story and lesson.
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