Roosh V - Daryush Valizadeh - Don't follow a girl's lead
Aired: 2017-12-03
Duration: 13:34

[00:00:01]  Damn, my beard's getting so white.
[00:00:03]  I'm turning into Santa Claus.
[00:00:05]  Anyway, today I want to talk about frame.
[00:00:09]  Now, frame is something that underlies every single human interaction that you have.
[00:00:15]  For example, let's look at the frame between a teacher and a student.
[00:00:20]  When you're a student and you go in a classroom, the underlying frame is that you know less than the teacher.
[00:00:28]  He is imparting knowledge upon you, and you have to essentially follow some instructions or guidance from the teacher.
[00:00:37]  You know, that's just the assumed frame, and you fit into that frame.
[00:00:41]  You mold into it without even really thinking about it.
[00:00:44]  Now, the frame between men and women are different.
[00:00:47]  It's the man is hunting for a woman, and during this hunt, he shows his value, his peacock.
[00:00:56]  He tries to impress her in direct and indirect ways so that she chooses him for a sexual relationship.
[00:01:05]  Now, there's nothing wrong with that frame.
[00:01:08]  It's a healthy frame in the sense that it abides by your masculine polarity and her feminine polarity.
[00:01:16]  The problem is, I see many guys give that frame up, give the frame ball to the woman, and now she is dictating what the interaction is doing.
[00:01:31]  And instead of you being the man that hunts her, that either gets her or not, that gets a yes or a no, you instead become like her bitch ass puppy dog waiting and waiting for some kind of answer, waiting for her to give some kind of signal.
[00:01:50]  When really, it's you escalating, you showing value, and she's coming along for the ride or not.
[00:01:56]  Because if she doesn't want to come along for the ride, then she can fuck off.
[00:02:01]  There's many other girls, right?
[00:02:03]  You don't wait.
[00:02:04]  You don't wait.
[00:02:05]  You don't let a woman dictate the terms of how this interaction is going.
[00:02:10]  Even though when you do hunt, she, of course, has the right to say no, right?
[00:02:15]  I mean, you can't do anything she doesn't want without her consent.
[00:02:20]  But at the same time, you only you can allow her to waste your time, to hurt you, to do things that you don't want.
[00:02:29]  So let's go over an example because I actually went out with a friend of mine.
[00:02:34]  We went to a bar on a weekend and we met two Belarusian girls.
[00:02:40]  And if you know these former Soviet Union girls, they're always slower than the Western European or the American girls.
[00:02:47]  I mean, they take more time.
[00:02:50]  I'm not saying they're good, good girls, but in terms of sex, they take longer.
[00:02:57]  So that said, when I met them, even though they were very attractive, mine was only staying in town for about a week.
[00:03:05]  You know, I don't see many possibilities there besides doing something the same night, going all the way.
[00:03:13]  I'm not going to go on three dates, four dates in a week just for the possibility of fornicating.
[00:03:23]  So what happened?
[00:03:24]  I was talking to my girl and it was going well.
[00:03:27]  She didn't speak English, but that's okay because I remember a lot of the Russian I learned when I lived in Ukraine.
[00:03:34]  And my friend was doing well with hers, with her friend as well.
[00:03:38]  Things were going pretty good.
[00:03:39]  Now the next step is to escalate it.
[00:03:42]  And how do you escalate it in a bar?
[00:03:45]  You take it to a dance floor.
[00:03:47]  Why?
[00:03:48]  Because 15 minutes on a dance floor will allow you to progress as much as three hours talking.
[00:03:56]  I don't know why, but you put a girl on the dance floor.
[00:03:59]  She lets you do anything almost.
[00:04:01]  It's amazing what they let you do.
[00:04:04]  You can grope her ass.
[00:04:06]  I mean, put your hands up her shirt.
[00:04:08]  She's grinding on your boner.
[00:04:11]  You can't do that sitting across from her in a bar.
[00:04:14]  You can touch her leg.
[00:04:15]  But you get a girl on a dance floor, man.
[00:04:18]  It really speeds things up.
[00:04:20]  And I know I'm too old for the nightclub.
[00:04:23]  But in terms of advancing in interaction really fast, clubs are pretty damn good.
[00:04:31]  I mean, nothing speeds it up faster.
[00:04:34]  So that said, my plan was to get them, get this whole group into the nightclub, which was a door down.
[00:04:42]  We go into the dance floor and let's see what is going to happen.
[00:04:49]  But there was a major problem.
[00:04:54]  My friend's girl, she wanted to finish her drink that she was nursing for so long that there were no ice cubes in that drink.
[00:05:08]  So the friend said, yeah, we'll go after this drink is done.
[00:05:13]  And the drink was basically full.
[00:05:16]  And it's 1 a.m.
[00:05:18]  And my girl seems down.
[00:05:21]  And my friend, you know, I guess he's not as hard as me.
[00:05:26]  So he was willing to wait.
[00:05:28]  Now, what do you do if you're me?
[00:05:31]  Well, you have three options.
[00:05:34]  The first option is to wait.
[00:05:38]  Now, what does waiting do?
[00:05:40]  I think you know.
[00:05:40]  It gives the frame to her.
[00:05:43]  We're now all her puppy dogs waiting for the princess to finish her warm drink that tastes like shit because all the ice is melted.
[00:05:53]  It looked like mud, honestly.
[00:05:55]  I don't know what that was.
[00:05:57]  The second option is to say, bitch, hurry up and finish your drink.
[00:06:03]  It's Saturday night.
[00:06:05]  I want to go dance and bang your friend.
[00:06:09]  The third option is to get up and fuck off.
[00:06:12]  Just leave.
[00:06:14]  So what did I do?
[00:06:17]  I said, all right, well, you still got a lot left to drink.
[00:06:22]  Hurry up and finish it.
[00:06:25]  And she gave me this face like, hurry up.
[00:06:29]  And I said, come on, drink it.
[00:06:33]  She was not happy.
[00:06:34]  I could see it.
[00:06:36]  And I didn't care because I'm not going to wait one hour for the princess to finish.
[00:06:44]  So I looked at my girl and told her, Look, you are nice, but I'm not going to stay here all night.
[00:06:51]  I'm ready to party and to dance.
[00:06:54]  And then she said, 10 minutes.
[00:06:56]  Just give her 10 minutes and then we will go.
[00:07:01]  And I knew it.
[00:07:02]  It's not going to take 10 minutes.
[00:07:04]  She was taking sips that were so small that when she takes a sip, the liquid level in her drink didn't even go down.
[00:07:14]  So I said, hold on.
[00:07:15]  I'm going to finish the drink that I got.
[00:07:17]  So I had like a little drink and I gulped that down within three minutes.
[00:07:25]  And then I got my coat.
[00:07:28]  I put it on.
[00:07:30]  I looked to my girl and I said, I'm going to the nightclub.
[00:07:36]  I'm not waiting for your friend.
[00:07:39]  You can come or not.
[00:07:43]  I told my friend, I said, I mean, he is a good guy.
[00:07:47]  I like him.
[00:07:48]  He's a younger guy.
[00:07:50]  I said, bro, I ain't going to wait for this bitch to finish.
[00:07:54]  I'm going to the nightclub now.
[00:07:55]  And he said, okay, cool.
[00:07:56]  I'm going to wait and then I'm going to come.
[00:07:58]  So I went alone.
[00:08:01]  Now this was the interaction with my girl was going well.
[00:08:05]  I was touching.
[00:08:06]  You know, we were, I was really, I mean, I basically had my hand permanently on her arm or side of her body.
[00:08:15]  It was going well.
[00:08:16]  But I didn't want to risk losing the frame because if she sees me so willing to wait for a girl I don't care about, her value, judgment of me goes down.
[00:08:30]  I'm no longer the dominant masculine man that she thinks that I am based on the way I came up to her and started the conversation.
[00:08:38]  So I fucked off.
[00:08:40]  I went to the nightclub alone.
[00:08:45]  I checked my coat.
[00:08:47]  I got a drink.
[00:08:48]  I checked out the local talent.
[00:08:50]  And I have to say, the club was trash.
[00:08:53]  Total garbage, people.
[00:08:56]  I mean, why do I go?
[00:08:57]  Maybe I'm garbage too, but Saturday night, nothing else to really do when you're a single man.
[00:09:03]  I'm looking at all the garbage here.
[00:09:08]  And I'm thinking, well, I forgot about my friend, the Bella Russian girls.
[00:09:14]  It's dead to me.
[00:09:16]  Once you walk away, that's it.
[00:09:17]  It's dead.
[00:09:18]  There's no, I hope.
[00:09:19]  There's no, I hope she comes back.
[00:09:21]  There's no, you know, because I think a woman can feel that kind of energy in a way that a man can't.
[00:09:28]  She can feel when a man hopes to see her again.
[00:09:34]  So I forgot about her.
[00:09:35]  I'm lining up eye contact with this slut, that slut.
[00:09:40]  Which one do I want to try and take home?
[00:09:44]  And then after half an hour, I see my friend come in and then he says, bro, your girl is asking about you.
[00:09:56]  She wants to know where you are.
[00:09:59]  And I thought, I'm not surprised.
[00:10:03]  Because once a girl sees that you are not willing to lose the frame, even if it entails a shot at losing the girl, the pussy gets wet.
[00:10:16]  It just does.
[00:10:17]  But five times out of 10, maybe more, you lose it.
[00:10:21]  That willingness to walk away has to be real, has to be genuine.
[00:10:26]  Okay?
[00:10:26]  You can't fake it.
[00:10:28]  You can't like, let me get your number and then I'm going to go to this club alone.
[00:10:32]  You have to terminate the interaction.
[00:10:34]  Terminate it.
[00:10:35]  Be ready.
[00:10:36]  Because that mindset, think of all the other men she has dealt with.
[00:10:41]  And I see it so often.
[00:10:43]  I see a guy talking to a cute girl in a club and he can't stop smiling.
[00:10:48]  It's like you can feel how happy he is to be talking to this girl right now.
[00:10:54]  Okay.
[00:10:55]  A woman can feel that.
[00:10:56]  She'll keep talking to you because now she is comfortable having the frame.
[00:11:01]  You are the servant, the bitch ass puppy dog, begging for that little treat so that you can get the pat on the head from this good-looking girl.
[00:11:12]  But girls won't fuck guys that do that.
[00:11:15]  They'll talk to them.
[00:11:17]  They'll recruit you for their beta orbiter orbit.
[00:11:24]  And then that's it.
[00:11:26]  So to make a long story short, the girl did come back.
[00:11:29]  A lot of excitement.
[00:11:30]  She was smiling.
[00:11:33]  It's so great when a girl is excited to see you.
[00:11:37]  It feels good, you know, because women get that all the time.
[00:11:41]  But us men, men are dirt, right?
[00:11:43]  We're so disposable.
[00:11:45]  Women, easy come, easy go.
[00:11:48]  So it does, I'll admit, it does feel good when a girl shows enthusiasm.
[00:11:53]  You don't get that now.
[00:11:56]  So the interaction was able to continue for an indeterminable amount of time.
[00:12:03]  And the point, though, is not what happened after that.
[00:12:07]  The point is this, too, is that one, either you have the frame in the interaction or she does.
[00:12:14]  And if she has the frame, the interaction will go for a long time as you entertain her, as she pats you on the back.
[00:12:23]  It can go for a long, long time, but it doesn't mean you'll get anything after that.
[00:12:28]  And the second thing is, when you give the indication that you're willing to walk away, a girl senses value.
[00:12:39]  She senses that your value is high because only a man who's getting bitches can walk away.
[00:12:46]  A man who's a virgin desperate, say on the other end of the spectrum, is he going to walk away?
[00:12:52]  He's going to hold on tight.
[00:12:55]  You know, he's not going to let go of her.
[00:12:57]  And you see that I have my, I have a friend, the same guy, he refers to these guys as a girl's keychain.
[00:13:06]  You know, they're just attached.
[00:13:10]  So that's all I wanted to say.
[00:13:12]  I just wanted to say to maintain frame.
[00:13:15]  You know, don't be afraid to walk away.
[00:13:19]  Most of the time, she won't come back, but that's okay because having that frame will pay off in the future interactions that you have with other girls.
[00:13:30]  So I hope you enjoyed that story and lesson.