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Feb. 15, 2013 - No Agenda

03:01:36

487: Red Bag of Poop

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Time	Text
	So much more than a podcast.
	I like it.
	Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	It's Thursday, February 14, 2013.
	Time for Gitmo Nation Media Assassination Episode 487.
	This is No Agenda.
	It's Valentine's Day and all I got was a rubbing from the TSA on my way back to the capital of the Drone Star State in Austin, Tejas.
	In the morning, everybody, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where we're wondering if that rubbing ended up with a happy ending, I'm John C. DeVore.
	Let me tell you, I almost didn't get the rubbing, actually.
	Huh.
	Yeah, so for those of you not listening to this live, which is most of you, we are several hours late on our February 14th Thursday show.
	I was supposed to return from Los Angeles last night.
	I hadn't discussed this with anyone.
	I don't like to tell anyone when I'm flying these days anymore.
	They know anyway.
	No, it just makes me feel better.
	Who else is on their Delta flight?
	They can't kill them.
	My daughter was in Los Angeles.
	She's there for a week.
	She's packing up her stuff because she's moving to the Netherlands for an unforeseen amount of time.
	And so I wanted to see her before she flew back.
	And actually, the Mevio people wanted to see me too.
	So I kind of combined that, i.e., guess who paid for the trip?
	Oh, good idea.
	So how does that studio look?
	It must be finished by now.
	It's supposed to be done in November.
	Yeah, right.
	No, that's almost not done.
	But they would, of course, love to have me work for them again.
	I'm like, well, let me see how donations go.
	I'll mull it over.
	And, um, but you know, so this is Los Angeles and I had forgotten how much I hate that place.
	It's pretty douchey.
	Oh my, but the traffic, John, the traffic.
	The traffic is a nightmare.
	So we wound up missing our flight.
	Oh, what were you thinking?
	No, no.
	We have a guy who drives us.
	He was late.
	And then the traffic was the worst I've ever seen.
	We show up.
	It's like, yeah, well, you could go, but your bag can't because you're less than 45 minutes till check-in.
	And it's like, well, then we can just carry it on.
	No, the TSA won't allow that.
	I'm like, well, could you put it on another flight?
	No, the TSA won't allow that.
	Whatever.
	I want the TSA allowed.
	You have carry-on privilege.
	No, it was too big.
	It was too big.
	I won't say anything.
	Go ahead and say it.
	I refuse to have my toiletry in a baggie and take it out for some a-hole to look at.
	And there's two of us.
	Mickey has dinner with my daughter.
	I want to dress nice.
	So this is not just an overnight bag thing.
	And by the way, it pisses me off.
	It should just be normal travel where you can take a freaking bag.
	All of a sudden we have this whole thing where everyone has to travel with these huge backpacks and stuff them in the overhead.
	I don't want to be doing that.
	I just want to have my little laptop bag and my headphones and opt out and just have a nice little valet service.
	And, you know, so this is like, this is really, really annoying.
	So we wind up staying at the Marriott at the airport with a room that had been Febreze to death.
	And, of course, you know, I'm really happy I brought my laptop because I almost considered not bringing it.
	I'm like, oh, you know, I'll have done everything on my phone.
	I want you to do clips.
	Well, luckily, so then I get to sit on the iBond, I-Bond, who came up with that name for an internet company in hotels?
	How about Poop Bond would be better?
	And you pay the extra $16 or whatever?
	You'd have super speed if you pay the upgrade.
	And it's the same crap.
	Right, you get nothing.
	So I'm struggling.
	Hey, another dummy over here.
	Just put it in the pot for that phony speed-up.
	What an idiot.
	What was his name?
	We've got to put him on the list.
	Yeah, well, a mailing list.
	And then I'm working until midnight and we have to get up at 4 to make the flight.
	And at this point, I'm just so done with everything.
	We're at security and I'm like, screw it, I'm going to the slave scanner.
	I'm going to kill somebody.
	I don't think I can deal with it.
	And then Mickey's like, okay, you know, calm down, calm down.
	Which of the slave scanners did you go through?
	Was it a RAPA scan?
	Well, hold on.
	So we're at the, you know, we're putting our stuff onto the table to go through the x-ray.
	And then Mickey's ahead of me.
	She says, I'm opting out.
	I'm like, oh man, she's so awesome.
	She's forcing my hand.
	I'm like, well, dude, we're opting out.
	We're going.
	But now I got the lecture guy.
	Oh, not the lecture guy.
	Not the lecture guy.
	The lecture guy is the one that, hey, you know, these are not the x-ray machines.
	Like, yeah, right.
	Remember those were so safe?
	And so this is an ex-Marine, right?
	And he's like, well, you know, I just want you to know that, you know, these are, you know, backscatter, blah, blah, blah.
	I said, yeah, I know.
	They're not backscatter if it's a millimeter wave.
	Whatever he said.
	I'm just like, it's the principle.
	And then he looks at me like, principle?
	What?
	I don't understand.
	What principle are you talking about?
	Us keeping you safe?
	I'm like, yeah.
	Is that what he said?
	Really?
	I fought for this country for 24 years, keeping you safe.
	I'm like, okay, I've got the crazy ex-Marine.
	I'm like, yeah, well, so did my entire family, dude.
	He said, everyone's on your side, and I really appreciate what you've done, but as long as I can opt out, it's my right to.
	That's your right.
	He said, but really?
	Really?
	And I'm just like, okay, I'm just going to stop now, because I know this is not going to end well.
	It's just not going to end well.
	So he rubbed me down.
	He had to be pulled aside and questioned.
	You will be pulled aside and questioned.
	You will be questioned.
	So we got a nice little rub down and everything.
	So, sorry everybody.
	Was it the Marine who rubbed you down?
	Yeah, he rubbed me down.
	Really?
	As he did it, did you say, I hope you're getting off on this dude?
	Yeah.
	Funny, how did you know that?
	That's exactly what I said.
	A little to the left, please.
	That's all I need.
	So there's my wife, everybody.
	She's awesome.
	When I was at my weakest moment, they had almost broken me.
	They had almost turned me into a slave.
	She's like, no, no, I'm not going to let you do it.
	And she just said, screw it.
	Next thing you know, they'll steal your bicycle.
	And this is like 5 in the morning.
	Who needs any of this crap?
	And then I'm racing home, and then my Twitter is hacked.
	Now, this is bad, because what has happened...
	Didn't this happen on the last show?
	No, but what has happened...
	Remember, Twitter got hacked, and then they sent me an email, and I had to reset my password and everything.
	Yeah, I know you did that.
	But this is coming through one of the authorized apps.
	So I had to go in and turn off everything.
	And the weirdest things are authorized, by the way, which, of course, I never gave any authorization to.
	And so my account is sending out stuff like, you know, lose body fat in two weeks guaranteed.
	Yeah, that's the classics.
	You know what the worst is?
	People will tweet me saying, unfollowing at Adam Curry because his account got hacked.
	What?
	Why?
	Because my account is spamming.
	What a douchebag.
	Have you ever said something like that?
	Yeah.
	And then I'm like, oh, blocking douchebags.
	If you're unfollowing him because I think he's a douchebag, that would be different.
	But unfollowing because you're an account?
	God, heck, that's sympathetic.
	But people think that I'm stupid now.
	That for some reason I'm letting my password roam around.
	So we talked about this on the Twitch show.
	Yeah.
	Did you hear it?
	On the Twitch show.
	No, I didn't listen to that because I knew that you were only, I was only going to get mad because you weren't supposed to be on that show and they were going to talk about other things, but you went on the show just so you could win the bet.
	No, that's bull crap.
	I had nothing to do with what you were asserting, but let me tell you what they said about the hacks because Leo got hacked.
	Uh-huh.
	And I guess one of the other guys there got hacked.
	And they traced it to, they believe it happened to early accounts.
	And I said, well, that can't be true.
	I was on Twitter right off.
	It turns out I wasn't.
	And I know I was on Twitter long before Curry.
	And so I guess there's some database that Leo looked it up and I was wrong on all counts.
	You were on Twitter way before me, around the time that Leo was on, and all the other guys who got hacked.
	I got in just after the hacked line took place.
	I guess I didn't get hacked.
	The only thing is that when you got on Twitter, you became a whore.
	And you were just whoring on that Twitch show every single week, and that's why you have like 100,000 followers, and I only have 30,000.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, well, that's annoying.
	It's annoying.
	I'm always annoyed by the fact that the success rate, if I was a great whore, I would have got that thing that took place with people like Veronica.
	And you're verified, too.
	Are you verified?
	Oh, yeah.
	See, I'm not even verified.
	I don't even exist.
	I find that odd.
	You know what's even worse?
	So then I get all these tweets.
	Hey, man!
	Kevin Smith talked about you on the Smodcast!
	I listen to that.
	And I listen to that, and I'm like, he didn't even know who I am.
	He's making fun of me.
	Yep.
	Making fun of my name.
	Right.
	Just riffing on your name.
	Yeah, which was not that funny, by the way.
	Mary Curry.
	Mary Curry.
	Larry Curley and Moe.
	Every kind of joke you can come up with.
	Whereas he would have no career if it wasn't for me.
	You should get down on your knees and suck me, Kevin Smith.
	Do you think there'll be enough controversy so he'll say something?
	We can get some of his audience?
	He won't say shit.
	He won't even say anything to him.
	Curry blasts you on his show.
	Who?
	That's the guy we talked about.
	Whatever.
	Screw him.
	Whoever.
	Wasn't he like a VJ? Cooties.
	Exactly.
	Well, there's a lot of stuff that happened.
	At least I have more than one shirt.
	And I believed that you went to LA to get into the milieu of Of it all.
	And so what did you discover?
	We're talking about Dorner here, by the way.
	Yes.
	So we arrived at the airport on Tuesday.
	Did you wear a shirt that says, I am not Dorner, do not shoot me?
	I wore my donor.
	Because apparently they were just shooting anyone they felt like.
	Yeah, oh yeah.
	An old lady they shot thinking it was Dorner.
	I know.
	Don't you love it?
	No, I was very happy we went because we walk out of the terminal.
	And we're waiting for our guy to pick us up, who pretty much is fired now for getting us late.
	And I'm like, wow, it is so quiet.
	How can this be?
	And Mickey's like, wow, it's Tuesday.
	I've never seen LAX as quiet.
	And then, you know, where's the guy?
	And Mickey's calling him and he's like, oh, well, they wouldn't let me in to the airport.
	We had to wait because they've got Dorner in the cabin and they were afraid that people might start rioting at the airport.
	I'm like, oh, this is going to be great.
	I'm like, turn on the radio.
	I've got to hear this bogative story because I was all ready to talk about today.
	Wait a minute.
	Hold on.
	Stop.
	They thought, what?
	Yeah, I'm not kidding.
	What is wrong with these people?
	No, but this is what they want.
	I am now convinced that this guy didn't even exist.
	This guy wasn't even real.
	Where are all the family members?
	Where's all the people we should be seeing to interview?
	Where's the interviews with his girlfriend?
	Where's the interviews?
	Exactly.
	Where's the interview with his next door neighbor?
	How about his mom?
	How about his mom?
	Well, so speaking of that, I have nothing but actors in this whole thing.
	And I was actually, I was in the car, I'm saying to Mickey, I said...
	Oh my God, you know, actually in the plane, before we got in the car, I said, they need to change this script pretty soon.
	We need some hostages or something.
	This has got to change because it's not scary enough, and people are starting to like the guy.
	And this is not what, the whole point is to have everyone intimidated and afraid, and there was a Lowe's, they had to evacuate the Lowe's because someone thought they spotted him.
	I mean, that's the fear that they want to instill.
	And now, this thing is so full of holes.
	Okay, give me your theory.
	Well, let me give you my little quick theory, because you've been down there digging around.
	My thing was that I believe this could have been an entirely scripted operation designed to perhaps initiate drone use in the U.S. or whatever.
	Because it turned south, they aborted the script.
	By burning down some old lady's house who was, by the way, in contact with the media, this old woman that owned that place.
	Alright, I got clips.
	Let me take over from here, okay?
	Because I've got this thing covered.
	So first of all, this thing is one big bogot of lie.
	The LAPD are so bad, they can't, I mean, they have the guy looking like Tom Selleck and everything, but they don't know how to act.
	They're so dumb.
	So here's just one of the many, many holes.
	I don't have to go through the whole story.
	Most people know what happened here.
	The guys hold up in the cabin.
	They burn it down.
	The massive manhunt for suspected cop killer Christopher Dorner might be over tonight, but then again, it might not.
	San Bernardino investigators have called off the search and reopened the local roads, but so far the medical examiner has not yet made a positive identification of the charred human remains found in this burned-out cabin in Big Bear Lake, California.
	The L.A. Times reports agents found Christopher Dorner's driver's license and wallet among the ashes.
	Okay, so first of all, I'd like to say that I'm going to start a new clothing line that is made of Saudi Arabian passports and California driver's licenses.
	Because these things can withstand anything.
	They can withstand burning jet fuel.
	They can withstand burning buildings.
	All you have to do is just cover yourself in driver's licenses and Saudi Arabian passports and you're good to go.
	But more particular because his license keeps getting found.
	Let's go back three days ago.
	But it does have some interesting developments in it.
	In it, a marshal's inspector says Dorner might be south of the border because earlier, of course, he tried to escape by stealing a boat to go to Mexico.
	That attempt failed when a rope got caught in the propeller.
	And also because Dorner's wallet and ID were found near the border.
	They keep finding his wallet.
	This is amazing.
	It's the amazing...
	That's a good catch.
	And it's the LA Times, by the way, that keeps reporting this.
	So now we have our professionals that we need to bring in.
	So first we get...
	Now, this guy was fantastic.
	So they have him holed up in the cabin.
	They bring this guy out.
	You've got to see the video.
	He's got the wraparound black shades.
	He's like a huge guy with a sweatshirt.
	It's like...
	He's a cop.
	He's clearly a cop.
	And you know when you listen to him, that he's giving evidence here.
	You know, he's talking to Anderson Pooper, who loves getting the so-called real witnesses to the scene.
	And this guy's an agent.
	Now to the man who lost his truck to Christopher Dorner, but is alive to tell the story.
	I spoke with Rick Heltebrek a short time ago.
	Take them through what happened.
	You were coming up a side road on the highway, and you saw some law enforcement in the area.
	What happened?
	I saw something moving in the trees, and I could see that it was somebody with a gun.
	Okay, right.
	That's an interesting observation.
	There's been a lot of people up around here with guns, searching buildings and things like that.
	So I'm not unused to seeing them, but this was an odd area for that to be.
	And by the time that thought process ended, I realized it was...
	By the time that process ended.
	This is how people talk up there.
	And I saw...
	A vehicle crashed in the snow behind me.
	Yes, a vehicle.
	This is exactly how people talk.
	Yes, a vehicle.
	You mean a car?
	A car?
	Is that what you're talking about, or are you an agent?
	...and he came up to the window of my truck, my driver window, with his gun pointed at me, and he said, I don't want to hurt you.
	Just get out, start walking, and take your dog.
	How did he look to you?
	He looked calm, kind of more like...
	This is a professional trying to act like someone else.
	And then as this clip goes on, which I'm not going to play, he's like, oh, I called up my buddy who happens to be a trooper.
	So the guy is obviously in on the game.
	But then they have, and this is my favorite, all of a sudden there's a press conference.
	This morning.
	And, you know, you would expect if this was your cabin and a guy, you know, there was a big, huge shootout and, you know, we have audio of the cops saying, burn it, burn it, and there's all kinds of, you know, they're trying to backpedal, but we've got the scanner audio.
	And, you know, and by the way, when you are breaking all the windows, that's not to keep the tear gas in, okay?
	That is to create a draft so you can actually burn it.
	And then you throw hot tear gas in there.
	This was all intentional.
	But then something went wrong, and I think I know what it is.
	And then these witnesses come out without any...
	No one is accompanying them.
	Shouldn't they be being debriefed?
	Shouldn't they be downtown somewhere at the station?
	No, they're just up there just talking to the press.
	Here they are, two idiots, by the way, with a script, holding a script in their hand.
	We would like to make a statement regarding the incident.
	They are introducing themselves, John.
	Does this sound like the way witnesses to something are introduced to the press?
	No, witnesses to something like this, especially in this case, it wasn't a kidnapping, it was a hostage situation, would definitely be downtown talking to the police for probably a couple of days before they're allowed to talk to the public.
	So why were they allowed to talk to the public?
	Because they've got to set something straight.
	Heard here yesterday afternoon.
	First of all, I'd like to introduce ourselves.
	This is my husband, Jim Reynolds.
	Now remember, these people are supposedly, they were tied up by him.
	They were held hostage at gunpoint and somehow escaped before they, you know, burned down their house.
	Listen to how she's speaking, her demeanor.
	Well, wait a minute.
	This was not the place that was burned down.
	Listen to what she's saying.
	And I am Karen Reynolds.
	And, um...
	Sorry.
	She's looking at the script.
	She has two pieces of paper in her hand.
	We are the owners of Mountain District Resort.
	The first thing that we would like to clarify is that we were the victims that were in with him yesterday.
	And our housekeepers were not involved at all.
	He never saw them.
	They never saw him.
	Now, this is very interesting.
	This is where I'm like, and I saw this on the plane.
	This is where I'm doing this prep.
	I'm like, wait a minute.
	The first thing out of their mouths, the reason we're here is to let you know we're the owners and our housekeepers had nothing to do with this.
	They didn't see anything, even though the same LA Times is reporting that a friend of these two women, mother and daughter, Some housekeepers had called into KLA-TV to report exactly what these two are now denying.
	And why are they denying that?
	Who gives a crap about them?
	The unit that he was in was a unit that we have been using for over three years as a long-term rental.
	And it has been unoccupied since January 29th.
	And since that period of time, we have been trying to refurbish it.
	Now, remember, this is the woman who was tied up at gunpoint, and now she's talking about refurbishing the cabin.
	And cleaning it up.
	Yeah, cleaning it.
	Working on and off and on between the busy winter season.
	Yeah, busy.
	So the last day that we were actually in there working was February 6th.
	So she's just going on with all these details to set the stage.
	And then here comes the real story.
	And by the way, it says here, family member Jay Hilton, H-Y-L-T-O-N, told KABC-TV, the pair...
	The mother-daughter housekeepers, who were actually held at gunpoint, that they were unharmed and they were okay, they broke free, and the daughter actually was the one that called 9-11.
	And we have, this is all on tape, so they're lying!
	And he came in, like, with a cord and tied it.
	He had a couple of extension cords.
	Tied it around.
	Put a pillowcase over our head first.
	I had to.
	Listen to how he's like handling her.
	He's jumping in.
	He's telling her what's going on.
	Oh yeah, that's right.
	And he put killer cases over our head.
	Why are you telling us all this now?
	What's the motivation?
	What's your motivation?
	A lot of misinformation out there.
	Yeah, a lot of misconception.
	We have people, you know, we have guests who think our place has burned down because the cabin that he has died in has, well, we think it's him, but has, you know, has burned down.
	All the things about it being our housekeepers, They were here and working, but they were not involved at all with him.
	I'm thinking either we're going to have two housekeepers who are missing, or maybe there's two charred bodies in this building because there's something happening.
	Let's straighten out a couple of things.
	One, their place was not burned down.
	No, they're the owners of the resort.
	No, no, no.
	They're not the owner of the place that was burned down, which is somewheres down the road.
	Because the owner of that place was on the CNN. She's an old woman, and that's the place that she goes to in the winter, I guess, or the summer.
	So there's now three people?
	The old woman was just identifying the place that got burned down.
	These two people are trying to get the million dollars.
	And so they're trying to push these other guys out of the picture with this bullcrap.
	No, no, no, no.
	Hold on a second.
	Not true.
	And I'll tell you why.
	This whole thing is made up because the million dollars was not wanted dead or alive.
	The million dollars specifically is what leads to the arrest.
	But they didn't know at the time...
	The arrest of...
	They still don't know that he's dead.
	Whatever the case is, you've got to get this part straight.
	This is not the place that was burnt down.
	They are the owners.
	They say they are the owners.
	No, they never said that.
	Yes, they did, John.
	They said that at the beginning.
	In this clip, they just said that.
	No, what they said, you misunderstood what they said.
	I heard what they said.
	They're talking about their own place not being burned down.
	They never said they own the other place.
	Yes, they did.
	They said they are the owners of the resort.
	They are the owners of the resort of all of these cabins.
	The resort that they own, which is where he was originally, and then he scooted out of there, and then he ran into these guys, I guess the sheriff, or whatever.
	We're talking about the same old lady.
	This is the same old lady.
	We're talking about the same lady.
	No, this woman is supposed to be 86.
	She reminded me of you, actually, so she can't be 86.
	She's not 86.
	This is the woman married to this guy.
	Unless you can document it, because the coverage was terrible.
	Let's face reality.
	And when they burnt the place down, the first thing they did was they got all the helicopters to get out of the way.
	To get out of the way.
	Yeah.
	Nobody could take a movie of anything going on down there.
	But here's where it gets better.
	CNN immediately has to start calling everybody an idiot conspiracy theorist.
	So they're going to cover all the bases.
	This is my favorite part.
	Screw whoever did it.
	Screw this guy whether he was alive or not.
	We all know that went horribly wrong.
	And I think actually that this guy was invented.
	They had to hit somebody else.
	They took one of these people who was killed.
	I think they took a corpse and threw it in there.
	Here's what I think they did.
	If you were going to do it, if I was writing this, I put a corpse down in the basement, dead, scattered, take that wallet that you found by the border and throw it in there, and then put a couple bullets, one or two bullets, just let them sit there on top of the table, because they're going to go off when the place catches on fire and he's up.
	Yeah.
	And so, because they said, oh, a bullet, they heard a bullet, you know, a gunshot.
	Yeah, he killed himself.
	Now, has anybody reported him holding a gun?
	Yes!
	The corpse having a gun in its hand?
	Yes!
	Yes!
	And it burnt with him.
	But his wallet is still there.
	This is what's so amazing about California DMV. They've got material that no one in the world has.
	So here's CNN to debunk everything that I love.
	Fast News Helicopters to back off.
	Back off!
	And as the cabin went up in flames, social media also lit up, with users like this one crying conspiracy.
	So U.S. authorities have apparently burnt someone to death in a cabin and let it burn through the basement so no body is left.
	Another user referring to reports that Dorner's ID was found.
	Come on, people.
	How in the world is Dorner's body burned beyond recognition?
	But they found his license.
	He just so happened to be carrying.
	Another pervasive theory...
	I think Dorner probably killed someone and left their body in that fire while he escaped.
	Others blasted the police.
	Blaming them for the cabin fire.
	LAPD was prosecutor, judge, jury, and executioner yesterday.
	They burned him alive.
	Apparently burning people alive is now considered appropriate behavior for the police.
	So this is just showing tweets over and over again.
	This is nuts!
	How can they think like this?
	This is completely crazy.
	You can get any number of cadavers from the...
	The coroner?
	Chuck one in there.
	They didn't burn anyone alive.
	I mean, if the guy was in there alive, he'd be screaming his head off.
	What am I doing here?
	But just all of this stuff is so...
	I mean, you have the wallet that keeps getting found.
	That, to me, was enough.
	The wallet's a problem for me.
	You can't do that over and over again.
	And then it's found in the ashes.
	I think that either they intended to kill a number of LAPD officers.
	People got killed, and this guy was getting blamed for it, or this persona, or this character.
	Right, we already know from our last show, and I was in the process of actually deconstructing the manifesto to prove that it was written by a committee.
	Well, we know it was written by...
	The version that I saw was written by more than one person.
	That's the version that keeps cropping up.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And that one section is not written by the same person.
	I believe that the whole thing is probably...
	I think they did a number of rewrites.
	They wrote it, and it really sounded pretty good.
	They're trying to get rid of some people, I guess, in an apartment.
	Yes, that's what I'm saying.
	Defaming them.
	They were trying to get rid of some actual dudes, and they killed some people.
	And I think there was still a person they had to kill, but then it got out of hand.
	It got out of hand.
	They lost control of the script.
	They lost control of all kinds.
	It just got completely out of control.
	And they ended it.
	Whether they actually ended it with a dead body or not, we'll never know.
	We'll just never know.
	Other than we found this wallet.
	I mean, that's so funny.
	I just can't believe that they keep pulling that one.
	And everyone goes, okay.
	They found this wallet.
	It's got to be true.
	The wallet.
	The wallet.
	Yeah.
	They found this wallet again.
	This reminds me of the George Clooney movie, what the hell's the name of it, where he plays the fixer, and they try to kill him, and so they blow it, but he got out of the car just before it blows up, and so then he takes his wallet, and he takes his watch, and he throws it in the burning mess.
	Right.
	And he's not, you know, he's never, the body's never found, but there's a wallet, just the wallet apparently was found, along with the watch.
	Right.
	Wow.
	So anyway, I think we've kind of deconstructed whatever we can here.
	For me, the wallet thing is like, okay, that's enough.
	I'm done with it.
	When LA Times is reporting they found the wallet twice, three days apart, then you know it's just full of crap.
	But then I come home And I'm going to turn to the...
	For the past hour and a half, the news, the only news, has been about this.
	And then there's the sewage problem.
	There are fewer than two dozen working public toilets, according to Carnival.
	Passengers say a foul odor has seeped into every corner, sickening some, as desperate people take drastic measures.
	Donna Gutsman describes it from her cabins.
	The worst part is the bathrooms.
	There's no water.
	You can't really flush.
	So everyone's going in little plastic baggies and putting it outside their rooms.
	This is the fourth day without power.
	As tugboats tow the stricken ship towards Mobile, Carnival called the conditions challenging.
	And for the first time since Sunday's fire, Carnival's president came out and apologized.
	So, on...
	Over the side!
	Hold on a second.
	I'm pulling up my phone right now, and on February 12th, I get a text message.
	Three of our friends are on this ship.
	And so, John, I get a text message from him.
	February 11th, I'm sorry.
	FYI, our ship caught fire.
	Stranded at sea adrift.
	Seaman adrift.
	By the way, these three guys are gay.
	It's very funny.
	Home by Thursday.
	Love you, mean it.
	Send helicopter.
	And then I'm like, what?
	Are you going to be rescued by strong Marines?
	And he says, Coast Guard is on the way.
	Better be fucking some hotties.
	It's super funny slash tragic.
	They are now going to tow us to Mexico, and then I lose contact with them.
	Oh, no.
	Actually, I say, hey, when do I get to say I told you so?
	That was the last message I sent.
	I'm such a friend.
	I told them this whole cruise was a bad idea.
	And so, you know, so they're out of contact.
	Yeah, I'm a total douche.
	So I'm out of contact.
	And then as we land, he says, hey, I just got service.
	This is crazy.
	By the way, it's not as bad as they're saying.
	It truly does suck.
	So my answer to that is, did you have to poop in a bag?
	Because I'd seen this clip.
	And he says, and I said, oh, I need to know, please.
	I need to debunk this.
	He says, yes.
	We had to poop in the bag.
	But there were some toilets working.
	And I'm like, tell me about the bags.
	He says, it's actually interesting.
	The ship carries special red poop bags, specifically for this type of emergency.
	Did you know that?
	No, I do now.
	Because you get the visual from this woman, like we had to poop in baggies, like a sandwich bag or something.
	But these apparently are specially made red poop bags, like in a glad bag.
	And yellow, and as long as it turns green, you know it's sealed.
	Then you know it's fresh.
	You know the freshness is on the inside.
	Anyway, so he's like, Ed, this really isn't as bad as they were saying it was on the news.
	And these are kind of...
	These guys can be drama queens if they want to be.
	So if they're saying that it wasn't all that bad, then it wasn't all that bad.
	So there's a lot of...
	It certainly isn't worth...
	How many hours of bullcrap time is CNN just spending on this?
	I'm sorry.
	It's aborted.
	Abort.
	Abort anything about, I don't know, the executive order that the press promised not to release for five hours until after the State of the Union.
	I'm not talking about mainstream media.
	I'm talking about your favorite websites, people.
	The cybersecurity executive order, which I have the total deconstruction for you, was held back by your favorite alternative media websites who were given the executive order in writing under embargo.
	They were not allowed to publish it until after the State of the Union, so it would be snowed under.
	Shame on all of them.
	I'm looking at you, Verge.
	The Verge.
	The Verge of being honest.
	Yeah, horrible.
	Well, you know, before we go to that, which I think would lead into some clips from the...
	Maybe we can do that first, because I didn't see the speech.
	Well, I wanted to do a little interruption, because there's one topic that we promised we were going to talk about.
	As we closed the show, I just got to only the one thing, just to give people one taste of it.
	I only have one clip, one taste.
	It was the Grammys.
	Oh, watch the Grammys.
	I don't want to watch the Grammys.
	No, you've got to watch the Grammys!
	So the Grammy's totally blown.
	It's terrible.
	It sucked.
	And the giveaway is that they were so afraid of their audience not ever wanting to watch the show again that I have the clip of the opening of the show and the ridiculous number of people that they had performing and how they announced them all.
	And now...
	The biggest musical stars in the world.
	Come together on one stage for one night.
	The Grammy Awards, hosted by LL Cool J. I just choked.
	LL Cool J, the safest black man in the freaking universe and the most boring host of the world.
	Your performers and presenters include...
	Taylor Swift.
	Johnny Depp.
	Tim McGraw.
	Dave Grohl.
	Jay-Z. Frank Ocean.
	Justin Timberlake in a world premiere.
	The Lumineers.
	Beyonce.
	Katy Perry.
	J-Lo.
	Kat Dennings.
	Faith Hill.
	Kelly Clarkson.
	Adele.
	Fun.
	Neil Patrick Harris.
	Ellen DeGeneres.
	Juanes.
	Kaylee Cuoco.
	Jack White.
	Carly Rae.
	I love how they put Ellen DeGeneres and Neil Patrick Harris, the two out gay people, next to each other, with inflection in the voice, even.
	Like, and for you gays, we've got Neil Patrick Harris, and we've got Ellen DeGeneres.
	Yes, for you gays and lesbians.
	Kat Dennings, Faith Hill, Kelly Clarkson, Adele, Fun, Neil Patrick Harris, Ellen DeGeneres.
	Kelly Cuoco, Jack White, Carly Rae, Neo, Hunter Hayes, Prince, Carrie Underwood, Ryan Seacrest, Pitbull, Keith Urban, Pauly Perrette, Elton John and Ed Sheeran.
	The Black Keys with Dr. John and the Preservation Hall Jazz Band.
	An amazing tribute featuring Rihanna, Bruno Mars, Sting and Ziggy and Damien Marley.
	Plus a touching tribute to Levon Helm with Mumford and Sons, Zach Brown and Brittany Howard.
	Angina, Chanel, Morgan McMichaels, Tammy Brown, Nina Flowers, Andorra Box, Jujubee and Raven.
	There was Jimmy and Tommy and me and there was Anthony Stabile.
	How you doing?
	Frankie Carbone.
	What is this?
	What are you doing to me?
	Endless.
	You know, and the sad thing is...
	28.5 million people watched this drivel.
	A record.
	A record for the Grammys.
	A record.
	And Ken Ehrlich needs to be taken out back and shot.
	Ehrlich, you've been doing this show too long.
	It's boring.
	It's boring.
	It's overproduced.
	It's just, it's crap.
	Unwatchable.
	Unwatchable.
	Really.
	The direction was crap.
	The only, you know, Justin Timberlake I kind of like, but then you put him on a stage, you can't see what he's doing.
	You can't see.
	And it's just shit.
	And it's just, and it's like, ugh.
	Ugh.
	Anyway.
	But that's the sad thing.
	Just so many people watch it.
	So many people watching it.
	My God, people.
	You're useless.
	You're the one that said it was going to be good.
	No, I said watch out for the satanic crap.
	Which was right at the beginning.
	Yeah, with Taylor Swift, right off the bat.
	Yeah, that was creepy.
	Yeah, well.
	And then they keep cutting to her singing and freaking out and singing along with everybody.
	And by the way, she lip-synced that whole thing.
	Yeah, she needs to be rolled in the mud.
	She's not even good at it.
	Yeah.
	Anyway, I found...
	By the way, now the big news is she's got false breasts now.
	What?
	Yeah.
	How do you know this?
	Breaking news this morning.
	What?
	Yeah, she's now, she's loaded up.
	What?
	So she's not only, you know, I need to Google this.
	But she's also, you know, now she's got big breasts to bitch about in one of her songs.
	Wait a minute.
	Taylor Swift implants?
	My tits are too big.
	This is not true.
	I can't love you enough with them.
	This is, there's no, there's rumors, John.
	You're just, you're just rumoring.
	Did she show off a breast implant scar?
	Not only that, she doesn't have bad breast implants.
	Ah, anyway.
	So, yeah, onward, because there is some actual stuff to discuss here.
	You want me to do some Obama clips?
	No, before we do that, let us thank...
	Do we have producers?
	Do we have someone to thank?
	Please say yes, because I'll be very upset if I went through all of this work.
	What?
	What show number is this?
	487.
	That was my personal finances.
	Here it is.
	In the morning.
	Very good.
	Oh, okay.
	So only because it's Valentine's Day do we eek by.
	All right, I get it.
	We got a bunch of Valentine's well-wishers, which I'll relate as we go.
	And it turns out that we have a bunch of 214s, but we don't have anything else, essentially.
	So to pick the executive producer, which is always – we're going to – this will always be a fallback.
	Stephen Baron von Pelsmacher came in with $214, and he will be the executive producer, and everyone else will be an associate.
	And he wants to wish a happy Valentine's Day to the future Baroness of Belgium and France.
	And all the best to us both, as well as the ones who donated for this particular show, 487.
	David Foley wishes...
	Oh, Jesus Christ, no.
	No.
	What?
	You can't hear me?
	My computer's frozen.
	Oh, but I can still hear you.
	Yeah, yeah, but my mouse is frozen.
	Oh.
	Yeah, but that means no jingles, no nothing.
	Hold on, this is crap.
	Okay, you have to reboot.
	Can you cut this out?
	I can't even...
	Hold on a second.
	You can't reboot.
	Why can't you cut this out?
	What are you producing me?
	Be quiet, you.
	Hold on a second.
	Oh, Jesus.
	Slap it.
	That's what I was doing the whole time.
	I was slapping it.
	I was wondering what all that noise was.
	Hold on, let me try this.
	Hold on, let me try.
	Come on, baby.
	Yeah, well, let's just...
	Okay, okay.
	Did it work?
	Got the mouse working?
	Shh, shh, shh.
	Okay, I'm there.
	I did it.
	I did it.
	I've got it.
	You did it without rebooting?
	Shh.
	Don't tell it.
	It's going to find out anyway.
	Shh.
	Alright, onward.
	Another Valentine's Day call-out from David Foley.
	But don't we have to do the call-outs here?
	He wants the LGY karma.
	Did he not ask for that?
	Do I not have to give the karma to Baron Stephen Von Pelsmacher?
	Oh, I didn't say the LGY karma, please.
	Yay!
	You've got karma.
	Yeah.
	By the way, you pimp me out.
	You promised people I would do Valentine's in my Luther Vandross voice?
	Well, what up with that?
	You could have edited it out.
	You get to approve these things.
	Excuse me?
	You said this will be great.
	There will be millions of people wanting this.
	Los Gatos, California, David Foley, who gets mentioned more than anybody else on the show, apparently.
	And he wants to say, well, you're supposed to be reading this.
	You're right.
	Lisa Foley is the best damn wife in the universe.
	And you can cut, yeah, well, you should do the barren one, too.
	No, but this is only if it's giving it to other people.
	He's giving it to the Baroness of Belgium.
	To the future Baroness of Belgium and France.
	And all the best to you both.
	Oh, that's us.
	And all the ones who donated for the show.
	Yeah, baby.
	Not as expected.
	Michael Reardon in San Diego, California.
	Yeah.
	That's your cue.
	Well, he has no note.
	Oh, the note.
	Oh, yeah.
	The note is, to the love of my life, Monica.
	How come I don't have that here on my spreadsheet?
	Because it came in...
	To the love of my life, Monica.
	Say it again.
	To the love of my life, Monica.
	It's not quite the Luther Vandross I was expecting.
	Well, I'll try it on the next one.
	You had a better voice when you were a school.
	I'll try it.
	Oh, thanks.
	That's not a nice thing to say.
	Okay, Sarah Weaver from Boca Raton, Florida.
	Tyler, you are the love of my life and my best friend.
	These past nine years have been more than amazing and I don't know what I would do without you.
	I will always love you, Sarah.
	That was better, wasn't it?
	Yeah, that was actually quite good.
	You can take the rest of these.
	Metal Dog Machines, i.e.
	Sir Kelly, says, Sir Kelly wishes happy Valentine's Day to my wife, Dame Andrea, and also happy 17th birthday to my son, Sir Dallas.
	All three of us have been listening for 485 episodes, give or take.
	Mark Zaccari from Fairport, New York, also $214, says, Adam, save money on glasses.
	Use the Control Plus to increase your font size.
	I'd like a MILF and some Karma for my wife on this Valentine's Day show, please.
	MILF? That's one, mother.
	I'd like to.
	You've got Karma.
	Then we have Sir Thomas of the Apocalypse from Fresno, California.
	And he says, Greetings from Sir Thomas of the Apocalypse.
	In the morning, Biff and Jean-Claude Van de Borac.
	I'd like to give a Valentine's Day call out to my smoking hot fiancé, Dame Chantel.
	Also, I was wondering if it might be possible to ship out her night rings before our wedding on March 9th, because I'm trying to convince her the night ring would make a perfect wedding band.
	Ha ha!
	I've got the sizing info to JCD in January right after the last batch went out and he told me the next batch wouldn't ship for another 230 days.
	Perhaps you can make an exception for a night in need.
	Dame Chantel is dragging me to a Bikram yoga class Thursday morning so unfortunately I won't be able to listen live.
	But please, give me some...
	Jesus Christ, why did I agree to do anything you asked on Valentine's Day karma?
	And then a mac and cheese karma for all the hungry knights, dames, and barons out there who make the best podcast in the universe.
	You've got karma.
	You slaves can get used to mac and cheese.
	Mac and cheese.
	And that is all our Valentine's Day donations.
	Yeah, we're going to use you as a guest announcer more often.
	I'm stunned that you can't get voiceover work.
	Yeah, okay.
	So we have two more, but they're not Valentine's, so you get to do them.
	Yeah, David Zinn in Chicago, 20114, which is kind of like in there.
	Heil Andreas and Justice.
	I'm making this my first donation in recognition of the real value I get from the program.
	Also, I wanted to use this as an opportunity to recognize the tremendous value and appreciation I have for my wonderful girlfriend of two years, Deshaun Gilbert, who I do declare as a MILF, as well as my closest friend.
	Since we started Community Together, oh yeah, we have Sheridan the No Agenda Experience, which is greatly entertaining for the both of us.
	She thinks John is hilarious.
	A wise woman, especially when she says, what are you talking about?
	Which should almost be his own clip, as should a slave that commutes.
	Yeah, you should get your own show, maybe.
	Why don't you do that?
	That would be great.
	It's all I do is just one-liners.
	It's not much of a show.
	If it's not too out of the ordinary, I'd also like to get you to help me to ask Sean to marry me.
	Oh.
	Hey, Sean, will you marry him?
	Yeah, would you do that already?
	Get down to business, making our own human resource.
	I was going to spend money towards the ring for this purpose.
	However, I feel a better choice can be made if I involve Sean in the process.
	And as we are together so often, a secret shopping trip is nearly impossible.
	Please send some ring-buying karma so they can avoid getting ripped off.
	Proceeded by a Bush send your cash and one hot milf.
	Okay.
	We just need cash.
	I know a lot of people want to send blankets or water.
	Just send your cash.
	Hey.
	Hey.
	That's one hot milf, baby.
	There we go.
	That's what I was waiting for.
	You've got karma.
	Sorry.
	Angela Barkhouse in Smith Falls, Ontario.
	So can I just say something?
	So if someone wants to do a proposal on the show...
	I can do that for you.
	Hey, baby, would you like to get down with the best podcast in the universe and take me as your lawful wedded husband for the rest of your life, baby?
	I could do that.
	Yeah, that's a good idea.
	200 bucks.
	Hello, I'm not a cheap whore, Dvorak.
	I cost more.
	200 bucks would probably seem...
	200?
	Wait, wait, 400.
	Reasonable price.
	For 500 bucks, he also sends you a DVD. Right?
	And a signed t-shirt.
	It's a t-shirt.
	Angela Barkhouse in Smith Falls, Ontario, $200.
	The donation is for my husband, Rick Barkhouse, for his birthday this Sunday the 17th.
	In addition to a birthday shout-out, I was hoping he could get a big fat shot of karma as well as a de-douching for his wife, me, who has been kind of listening for a long time and should have ponied up the dough before now.
	Keep up the good work and thanks for keeping it real.
	Happy birthday, Rick.
	Yeah, that's very nice.
	Here you go.
	You've been de-douched.
	You've got karma.
	And finally, Chad Spalick without comment in San Jose, California, $200.
	We want to thank them and all the other producers to come for helping us out, especially on the show 487.
	And we remind you to go to Dvorak.org slash NA to help us out for the Sunday show, which is always coming up short, and hopefully it won't this Sunday.
	And then...
	Backup sites include ChannelOfARAC.com slash NA, and you can also click on the buttons on the No Agenda Nation site and NoAgendaShow.com.
	And thank you to Nick the Rat for the album art on episode 486, and Paul Couture has fixed the No Agenda art generator, so you can sign up again.
	I reached out to him and he moved servers or something.
	So anyway, it's all taken care of.
	We highly appreciate that.
	Lots of great art coming in.
	Make sure it's original people or at least it's a real mash-up and not some funny image that you've taken from somewhere and repurposed.
	We do try to...
	Use originality.
	And from a PR standpoint, we would like to thank Kiwi Cameron for forwarding curryanddvorakconsulting.com and curryanddvorakconsultinggroup.com to our official website.
	So I guess we can have our business cards made up now, John.
	So we can get down to business and maybe help the LAPD. I think we're going to have to do this.
	I've been watching some stuff.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	Before you do that...
	Because you're launching into something already.
	Well, I might.
	No, you can't.
	No, you can't.
	Because I have to do some mind control.
	And I have to remind everybody, it can always help us by going out and propagating the formula.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	And I'd like to say in the morning to you, John C. Dvorak.
	Well, in the morning to you, Adam Curry, and in the morning to all ships at sea, boots on the ground, feet in the air, subs in the water, and everything in between, including the dames and knights out there.
	And, of course, our human resources in the chat room, noagendastream.com, noagendachat.net.
	And thank you to Mr.
	Oil, Sir Gitmo Slave, Sir 19 Inches, everybody who's helping out on the back end, keeping all of our stuff running.
	It's highly appreciated.
	Alright, so you were going to tell us something extremely important.
	I was going to say that Russia today still needs our help.
	Oh, jeez.
	Are they still screwing up?
	Well, they've got a couple of attractive women that they're throwing on a lot of shows, but unfortunately they're grim.
	And they're not Russian!
	I don't know about that.
	There's one new woman who's, you know, they got that one that's, I think she came from Oakland, the tall brunette.
	She's not Russian?
	No, she's not Russian, but there's another one there that looks as fresh as a daisy, American, and I'm convinced she's KGB. But you need, they need to be.
	I know, you want the hot Russian.
	Yes, hello, how hard, it's not that hard.
	The ones that are gorgeous, and then they hit like 29 and boom, gone.
	And they can't read.
	They can't read.
	The girls that have now can't read.
	Which makes it even more fun.
	The girl from Oakland you're talking about has a show called Breaking the Set or whatever.
	Yeah, she also does anchoring.
	She also can't walk.
	They make her walk in the high heels.
	Right.
	She's obviously some Oakland chick.
	Yeah, she's used to like sandals or whatever.
	She's totally used to Birkenstocks.
	Yeah, and they strap these high heels on her and she's like trying to strut and it's not working people.
	It's not working.
	It's idiotic that they put...
	Yeah, I know.
	It's sad, actually.
	But there are women that can go with their whole lives without walking around in high heels, and she's already tall.
	And I would like to remind people that we are only discussing this purely as television professionals.
	We know what works.
	This is the kind of meeting that you would have if you were running a studio.
	Only we're kind of softening the blow.
	Yeah.
	We're kind.
	We're not like those guys.
	That's what they talk about in Behind Closed Doors.
	And everyone that works in the broadcasting industry knows this is going on.
	They're lying to you constantly, and then they screw you and fire you for no good reason because somebody else came along.
	And you've got no recourse.
	You're done.
	It's a terrible business.
	I hate it.
	Yeah.
	But we could do it.
	We could easily become one of those guys.
	Well, we'd do it.
	I mean, this is what they...
	I'm in Mevio.
	I found myself giving advice free.
	I'm like, what am I doing?
	Don't give free advice.
	I'm like, this is stupid.
	Sydney, I can't do this.
	I can't do this.
	Oh, you should come back and work for it.
	I said, well, you know, we'll see.
	We'll see how Sunday goes.
	Let's put it that way.
	People, I'm moving here.
	We've got expenses.
	We've got a show.
	It costs a lot to do this work all the time.
	All the time.
	We do all kinds of interesting things that nobody else does.
	I want to remind people.
	I was going over some old clips.
	Looking for something specific.
	And I ran into this classic, and then I had to date it because I didn't realize how old this was.
	This clip is almost...
	I mean, it's from 2009.
	And nobody ever calls these people out on the crap that they promote to the public.
	This is the Feinstein...
	Yeah, I got it.
	Yeah, play this.
	Remember, when you listen to this, this was in 2009, another attempt to frighten the public.
	What is the likelihood of another terrorist attempted attack on the U.S. homeland in the next three to six months?
	High or low?
	Director Blair?
	An attempted attack, the priority is certain, I would say.
	Mr.
	Bonetta?
	I would agree with that.
	Mr.
	Mueller?
	Agree.
	General Burgess?
	Yes, ma'am.
	Agree.
	Mr.
	Dinger?
	Yes.
	That's right, and it's probably going to be some long-haired fag coming through, and we've got to tell him, oh, oh, he's going to opt out, he's going to try and sneak it through with his medical devices implanted.
	It's going to be one of them.
	Six months.
	This was done, I think, in October of 2009, maybe earlier.
	And it was like, what's going to happen in the next six months?
	We're going to be attacked in the next six months.
	For sure.
	2013.
	Yep.
	It's happening.
	Yeah.
	That's right.
	That's right, baby.
	As far as I'm concerned, this is gold.
	Oh, well, whatever, I forgot all about that.
	That was that long ago they did that, and everybody was wrong?
	The head of the Central Intelligence Agency, the head of the military, the head of whatever that service is that's supposed to be a head of all the intelligence groups, CIA, they're all dead wrong in a congressional hearing, and you're telling me this is acceptable?
	Yeah.
	Well, this is kind of what I was trying to tell the TSA agent when he was like, you know, these aren't the x-ray machines.
	I'm like, yeah, but remember they told us those were okay?
	You know, why should I believe it now that this is all safe?
	This is not going to shred my DNA? By the way, it looks like yours is kind of shredding, dude.
	Didn't say that.
	I think a big game.
	And you still have babies.
	Okay, so the State of the Union...
	I did not watch, and this was only because I was having dinner with my daughter, and it was LA time, so it was all kind of weird.
	You, of course, were watching, which is why it's great that it's two of us, and all I did was, I'm like, okay, I'm going to leave State of the Union to John, and we don't have to have this meeting, I don't have to say anything, I know he's going to do it, and you know what I did.
	You know that I'm all over the executive order.
	I actually knew you were going to hit that thing.
	Of course, but it was so disgusting to me that it was given to the entire press corps and blogs under embargo.
	Please, oh, you can't publish it until after the State of the Union so that it will snow over the real important news.
	This is a huge problem.
	The State of the Union is always a distraction, but this is SOPA, PIPA, SISPA, everything all rolled into one, and I'm going to break it down for you.
	But first, I am extremely excited to hear your deconstruction of the State of the Union.
	Well, there's a lot of weird stuff in this.
	I only have short clips because most of the stuff is really like, wow, what the, what?
	I saw the secret drone handshake, like the exploding handshake he did with some dude there when he came in.
	Which reminds me, yeah, I know.
	What's up with that?
	That was creepy.
	By the way, black guys aren't supposed to do that.
	That's a white guy thing.
	That's a white douchebag thing.
	Now, here's the funny thing.
	When he shook hands, both times he shook hands with Boehner, it's worth going back and watching the whole thing at the end to watch how Boehner shakes hands with him.
	Boehner essentially tries, I think Boehner knows he's either a robot or something's wrong with him, because Boehner literally tries to pull his arm out of his socket.
	And he does it every time.
	So Obama is always fearful when he's holding his hand out to Boehner.
	Hey man, don't rip off the instruments, man.
	It's expensive, man.
	I'm dead serious.
	I've watched this a couple of times.
	Obama puts his hand out and then he grimaces and then Boehner grabs his hand and then pulls.
	Pulls right towards his stomach as hard as he can to try to dislocate the shoulder.
	Try and pull that thing off.
	Look, there's wires.
	I told you.
	It's the other one.
	It's the other Obama.
	He has not been able to accomplish this feat, but he sure makes a good shot at it.
	He pulls and then he...
	And this is like a handshake of some sort.
	And then he lets him go.
	And then Obama goes, oh God, this guy.
	So everyone should keep a lookout for that when you see Boehner and Obama.
	But is this only with Obama or does he shake everyone's hand like this?
	No, I didn't notice that he does.
	I think it's just Obama.
	He's just trying to...
	I don't know what he's trying to do.
	But...
	The top clip to me, after re-clipping all these from the full speech, was this one because it's either...
	When you hear it, see if you get the same impact from it that I got.
	I'm completely clean.
	I have not heard this.
	This is the clip of the speech.
	I read through some of the transcript and I saw some highlights, basically GIFs that people have made, which are kind of funny, of this exploding handshake.
	I'm fresh and I'll give you my impression.
	You see, America must remain a beacon to all who seek freedom during this period of historic change.
	I saw the power of hope last year in Rangoon, in Burma, when Aung San Suu Kyi welcomed an American president into the home where she had been imprisoned for years.
	When thousands of Burmese lined the streets waving American flags, including a man who said, there is justice and law in the United States.
	I want our country to be like that.
	Oh, which country is that?
	Well, that's the way, when I first heard it, he says, he's quoting this guy, and then Obama says, I'd like our country to be like that.
	Yeah, like what country?
	Well, it sounds like he's saying the U.S. Yeah, I know.
	And I think that is the way he read it.
	It was obviously written, the thing should have been written.
	Then he said...
	I want our country to be like that.
	But he didn't do it that way.
	He read it wrong.
	This is what he was hoping for.
	This is a poor read, is what we call this.
	It's a very poor read, but I think it was an interpretive read.
	I think he didn't read it because that's what he thought it meant.
	This is how he thinks.
	Like, yeah, it's like my country, Kenya.
	So if you remember, we did a clip some time ago where he went on with this crazy notion about the way the medical system could save a lot of money, the way it should operate.
	Instead of going from one doctor, you go to a doctor, and then he sends you to a specialist, and you go to him, and he sends you to somebody else.
	He says, what we should do is have all these guys in the same room.
	I just had a doctor's appointment the other day.
	It took me a month and a half to get the appointment.
	So Obama thinks that you just put everybody in the same room.
	You can't get these guys in the same room in a million years.
	So I thought that was wacky and stupid until I got this one, which is the Obama medical care nuttiness.
	Our medical bills shouldn't be based on the number of tests ordered or days spent in the hospital.
	It should be based on the quality of care that our seniors receive.
	Seniors?
	What?
	Seniors?
	No, besides seniors, he doesn't believe that any of these charges should be based on medicine or how much you have to take or how long you're in the hospital.
	It should be based only on quality of care.
	So you go in the hospital and you say, you know what, you really suck, so I'm just not going to pay you.
	You're just getting less.
	Thanks for the month's stay.
	I'm not going to pay you.
	We have one of our friends in our social circle here in Austin, Eva.
	Dave, her boyfriend, has a brand new sound stage.
	He's really trying something new.
	He literally has not opened it yet.
	I think Nikki's going to be the first client.
	She's doing a shoot for Austin Monthly Magazine.
	And Eva, his girlfriend who's from Australia, I'm sorry, New Zealand, shoot, that's a bad mistake to make.
	She's from somewhere down under.
	She's a burlesque dancer and she got strep pneumonia.
	And, boom, in the hospital.
	She's been in the hospital for almost a month now.
	Oh, my goodness.
	But in ICU for three weeks.
	There's a version of strep going around recently.
	But it's real.
	I mean, she was almost dead.
	And this is a young, vibrant woman, a dancer.
	And she's just like, boom.
	And she's 30 maybe or whatever.
	She's maybe 33, 34.
	And, of course, zero insurance.
	Four weeks in the hospital, three in ICU. But here's what's so beautiful.
	Immediately, and this is certainly awesome, I don't know if it's everywhere else, but people set up a website, boom, ten grand.
	People are just helping out, just making it happen.
	Which is how it used to be.
	Unfortunately, that's a lot of money, it's all going to bull crap.
	Or a lot of it, thanks for the stay.
	Because how much is a day in the hospital?
	It's like a thousand bucks at least.
	ICU maybe two.
	Well, if it was up to Obama, it would be all based on quality.
	Right.
	Anyway, I just threw that out there.
	It's just horrible.
	Anyway.
	Anyway, so I only want to play about three more of these things.
	They're all short.
	Play the Obama new version of Guess What?
	Okay, new version of guess what.
	Here we go.
	Tonight, I propose a fix-it-first program to put people to work as soon as possible on our most urgent repairs, like the nearly 70,000 structurally deficient bridges across the country.
	Again?
	Shovel ready, baby!
	Shovel ready!
	Or drone!
	He sounded like a game show guy at the beginning of that clip.
	Yeah, you know, he does throughout the speech.
	I was really ready for him to go.
	But isn't this shovel ready from four years ago?
	It's the same thing.
	It's the same thing.
	I thought he already stood in front of the bridge and said, we're going to fix this.
	It's the same thing.
	So he can't give up.
	So this is just, the whole thing is like this.
	It's bull crap.
	Place Obama science.
	You actually, you texted me this one.
	No single event makes a trend.
	But the fact is, the 12 hottest years on record have all come in the last 50.
	Heat waves, droughts, wildfires, floods, all are now more frequent and more intense.
	We can choose to believe that Superstorm Sandy and the most severe drought in decades and the worst wildfires some states have ever seen were all just a freak coincidence.
	Or we can choose to believe in the overwhelming judgment of science.
	Stop already!
	Science!
	Don't be a denier!
	The science is in!
	Science!
	Science!
	The science is in!
	Got it.
	Got it.
	I got it.
	Science is in.
	Science is in.
	Obama...
	Try this one.
	This is another one that's just like...
	These are all eye rollers, by the way.
	Obama states with the best idea.
	Is it a contest?
	Those states with the best ideas to create jobs and lower energy bills by constructing more efficient buildings will receive federal support to help make that happen.
	America's energy sector is just one part of an aging infrastructure badly in need of repair.
	Ask any CEO where they'd rather locate and hire.
	A country with deteriorating roads and bridges?
	Or one with high-speed rail and internet?
	High-tech schools?
	Self-healing power grids?
	Whoa!
	Whoa!
	A self-healing power grid.
	I want that.
	I heard this and I went, what?
	That's great.
	Yeah, I want that.
	The CEO of Siemens America, a company that...
	Oh, that screwed Greece.
	That's the company, yeah.
	Brought hundreds of new jobs to North Carolina.
	Said that if we upgrade our infrastructure...
	For that stupid train.
	That's what the hundreds of jobs are.
	They're selling the damn high-speed rail train.
	They'll bring even more jobs.
	And that's the attitude of a lot of companies all around the world.
	Hundreds of jobs.
	Let's stop the presses and let seamen take over the place.
	Saved or created?
	No.
	Okay.
	One other little shorty here is this one.
	Can I ask you?
	I didn't realize.
	Wait a minute, John.
	Where's the clip about closing Guantanamo?
	Oh, you know, I listened to this thing a couple of times and I couldn't find it.
	Where is that clip?
	I don't know.
	I mean, you know, I did fall asleep and missed maybe a few minutes on it.
	That must have been just coincidentally a moment when we talked about closing Guantanamo.
	You didn't see the enhanced...
	Did you take that to the bank?
	Didn't you?
	Yeah, I think I kind of remember something like that.
	Did you not watch the...
	You can take that to the bank.
	The enhanced YouTube stream of the State of the Union?
	You missed something.
	To be honest about it, I did scan around different versions of this, and I had to go back to C-SPAN 2 because C-SPAN 2 had kibitzing on Twitter from all the congressional offices and the congressmen on the floor, twittering on their phones while the speech was being given.
	I love it.
	Well, I've seen some screenshots.
	They had an enhanced version.
	When he started talking about jobs, they showed a Pac-Man screen.
	And there's the little Pac-Man up at the top and the cheese down at the bottom with the maze.
	And then, you know, and I should actually, I should, I can probably do a redirect on this real quick so you can see it.
	But then he has like, you know, there's the new job and then the maze opens up and the little Pac-Man goes waka waka waka waka down a straight line down to the bottom where the cheese is like a little briefcase that says new job.
	This is, it was really.
	That was good.
	Yeah, I mean.
	Waka waka waka waka.
	Maybe if you just Google it.
	If you just Google Obama Pac-Man.
	Let's see.
	Maybe that works.
	Obama Pac-Man.
	And it looks like a real screenshot.
	Apparently there's a lot of Pac-Man games.
	Yeah, the Obama Pac-Man, a free game at FUPA games.
	Maybe if you do State of the Union, S-O-T-U. Hmm.
	No, well.
	Anyway, I got it in the show notes so you can see that there.
	But it was just like, wow, crazy.
	Alright, last two.
	Just a short one.
	I didn't realize how...
	Well, I'm not even going to play that one because it's just stupid.
	But here you should play the Obama best military and he just got the biggest round of applause for this.
	You know, just again proving we're a militarized state and that's fine.
	You know, it works.
	As long as I'm Commander-in-Chief, we will do whatever we must to protect those who serve their country abroad and we will maintain the best military the world has ever known.
	Hell yeah.
	That's right.
	That's right.
	Kick your ass!
	And don't forget it.
	Don't forget it.
	Remember.
	Remember, we can kick your ass.
	Kick it.
	We can kick your ass so hard.
	You Korean.
	You China.
	You Japanese.
	We can kick your ass.
	Look, you got yellow skin and slanty eyes.
	So the big news, I don't have any clips of anybody talking about it, but, you know, apparently North Korea set off some little micro bomb or something under the ground somewhere.
	Everybody's all, what are we going to do?
	They're going to put it on a missile and they're going to send this one bomb headed our way.
	And I said, this sounds awfully familiar.
	So I got onto the Wayback Machine and went back to 2009 to play North Korea's Script 1.
	If you remember 2009, July the 4th weekend...
	Wait a minute.
	We need to do that differently.
	You need to alert me to these things.
	Don't we have a harp?
	Don't we have like a time machine thing?
	No, we need a time machine.
	I thought I had like a harp.
	Oh, crap.
	Oh, yeah, here it is.
	All right.
	Set it up again.
	Set it up again.
	Okay.
	So they're talking about the North Koreans getting this bomb, and there's a third bomb they've blowed up, and now they're going to put it on a missile, because they're doing missile technology.
	They're going to send this one bomb, for no apparent reason, by the way, over to hit the United States, and that'll do it.
	That'll teach us a lesson, not as though they wouldn't get annihilated overnight.
	But I remember that 2009, this is just a weird, same thing, and here it is.
	2009.
	Also tonight, American warships are tracking a North Korean vessel off the coast of China that may be carrying illegal weapons.
	Meantime, the Pentagon is beefing up our missile defense system to protect Hawaii from a North Korean missile attack.
	A Japanese newspaper reports the North may be planning to test fire another missile.
	This one aimed at Hawaii on the 4th of July.
	Yeah, I do remember that.
	Do you remember that?
	Hold on, hold on.
	Let's come back.
	That was 2009, and now here we are.
	Welcome back, everybody.
	Is that unbelievable?
	And nobody ever gets reminded of these little historical...
	It's not even that old.
	This is like three years old.
	Oh, that's a long time, man.
	That's a long time.
	We had Brad Pitt.
	It was Ocean's 9 back then.
	Yeah.
	And it's like, yeah, because the FBI is pulling this stunt every six months, as you've noticed, and nobody points this out either.
	Every six weeks.
	Six weeks.
	Six weeks.
	Yeah, they've got it down to six weeks.
	We can buffalo the public.
	You know, I was reading some things.
	Don't worry about it, Adam.
	It'll be forgotten in six weeks.
	Y'all know what I'll know.
	You know what happened?
	So the last time they did this, remember they sent the missile up?
	I mean, here's what I think is going on.
	They shot a rocket, and we shot it down.
	We nuked it, essentially.
	Remember it failed, like the rocket didn't deploy or whatever?
	Yeah, it was a dud.
	I think we, I think, no, I think we nuked it.
	I think we had...
	We just, you know, we lasered it out of the sky or whatever.
	And this is, you know, we're in so many skirmishes that is just not being reported on.
	You know, weather stuff and space wars.
	It's going on all the time.
	And this is just another, you know, the president came out with a little speech like, don't do that.
	That's against, oh, we're going to do sanctions.
	We're going to do sanctions on you.
	We're going to cut you off.
	Ugh.
	It's boring.
	It's so boring at this point.
	Yeah, it is.
	It's because it's repetitive and nobody's noticing this simple fact.
	So I do have one clip that'll lead into your deconstruction of the document because this is Obama, during the speech, pre-discussing it.
	Obama cybersecurity.
	Ooh, okay.
	Let's rock and roll.
	America must also face the rapidly growing threat from cyber attacks.
	Now...
	We know hackers steal people's identities and infiltrate private emails.
	We know foreign countries and companies swipe our corporate secrets.
	By the way, let me just point out that he says this is all so beautifully set up.
	We know that they read their private emails.
	That would be the Bushes whose email got hacked.
	This is exactly why this is all planned out.
	Now our enemies are also seeking the ability to sabotage our power grid.
	Which I thought was self-healing!
	Our financial institutions.
	Our air traffic control systems.
	I hacked in and all of a sudden I'm telling the pilot what to do.
	Oh yeah!
	No, that'll happen with your stupid next-gen system.
	That's exactly what's going to happen.
	When you have the computer controlling the planes and it's no longer professionals who are talking to each other and know what the heck is going on.
	Yeah, you're going to see that for sure.
	We cannot look back years from now and wonder why we did nothing in the face of real threats to our security and our economy.
	And that's why earlier today, I signed a new executive order that will strengthen our cyber defenses by increasing information sharing and developing standards to protect our national security.
	Why did you fade that out?
	That's kind of weird.
	I didn't.
	Yeah, the whole thing is fading out.
	It's fading out and it's gone.
	It started fading out.
	It doesn't matter.
	Okay.
	So, and I will repeat one more time.
	And who did I get this from?
	I got this from BuzzFeed.
	Shortly before 4.20 p.m.
	Tuesday, the White House emailed reporters that President Obama had signed a highly anticipated executive order aimed at protecting cyber security.
	Which is a misnomer.
	That's not even correct, BuzzFeed.
	You're not protecting cybersecurity, but okay.
	The order setting up new programs aimed at stopping online espionage and terrorism, this is great reporting, by the way, was already law of the land signed by the president.
	But it was also secret.
	The document was embargoed until the delivery of the President's State of the Union address, despite the fact that it had already been signed.
	And even BuzzFeed says they abided by the embargo.
	Okay, so the alternative media, you suck.
	You suck shit.
	That is so disappointing.
	I'm sorry if someone has to edit that for whatever we're doing.
	It's just like, that makes me so angry that you are part of the system, okay?
	You can no longer be trusted.
	None of them can be trusted.
	And the president set it up beautifully.
	Did you hear what he was saying at the beginning of that clip?
	Actually, I just want to...
	Because this whole executive order is about one thing and one thing only.
	And I'm going to read through it very briefly with you here.
	And what's interesting is this is very similar to the...
	Remember the kind of the trial balloons that we saw floated around, John?
	Which are purposely being leaked.
	Right.
	Of potentially executive order.
	It is almost identical, but they've done some very tricky things.
	And this is where most of the work went in for me.
	And they've referenced other documents that have been out for a number of years.
	So the executive order is called Improving Critical Infrastructure Cybersecurity.
	And all of this is highlighted in the show notes.
	Just a couple of brief things I think are very important to go through the actual executive order instead of giving you some kind of like, you know, stupid synopsis, which is just useless, I think, when it comes down to words that matter.
	It is the policy of the United States to enhance the security and resilience of the nation's critical infrastructure and to maintain a cyber environment that encourages efficiency, innovation and economic prosperity while promoting safety, security, business confidentiality, innovation and economic prosperity while promoting safety, security, business confidentiality, privacy and civil liberties.
	We can achieve these goals through a partnership with the owners and operators of critical infrastructure to improve cybersecurity information sharing and collaboratively develop and implement risk based standards.
	So whenever the government wants to share some information and work with you, it's essentially fascism is the definition of when they do this with business.
	Am I mistaken, John?
	No, it's corporatism, yeah, very common practice in fascist states.
	It was part of the fascist model.
	Critical infrastructure, as used in this order, the term critical infrastructure means systems and assets, whether physical or virtual, this is very interesting, a virtual asset, so vital to the United States that the incapacity or destruction of such systems and assets would have a debilitating impact on security,
	National economic security, national public health or safety or any combination of those matters.
	That is really broad.
	The public health Or just public safety, economic safety.
	So this is a very, very broad order.
	It is called Cybersecurity Information Sharing.
	That is what the order is mainly about.
	And who is going to be in charge of this?
	Well, here's some very interesting people who will be in charge of the sharing programs.
	The Secretary of Homeland Security...
	So your cyberness is going to be in the hands of a department that has only been around for 10 years and employs the same people who rub your crotch.
	And who now can confiscate your devices within 100 miles of the border.
	This is the same outfit run by Janet Lucy Napolitano.
	The Secretary, as the Executive Agent for the Classified National Security Information Program...
	And by the way...
	Not to interrupt.
	Janet Napolitano does not use email and, as far as we can tell, doesn't even know how to use a computer.
	That's correct.
	By her own admission.
	And she's the boss of this.
	She is the boss.
	So now the secretary, as an executive agent, so not like she's an executive of the company, but an executive agent, as in she is the executor.
	She is going to execute...
	The Classified National Security Information Program, which was created under Executive Order 13549, August 18, 2010, shall expedite the processing of security clearances to appropriate personnel employed by critical infrastructure owners and operators.
	In other words, they are going to be deputizing people.
	Okay?
	And what is a critical information provider?
	Google.
	I'd say Google is extremely critical.
	Comcast.
	Comcast.
	Thank you.
	They'll be deputizing and giving them security clearance.
	They will now become spies.
	Spies.
	Section 5, privacy and civil liberties protections.
	This is kind of where it gets a little interesting to me.
	Agencies shall coordinate their activities under this order with their senior agency officials for privacy and civil liberties and ensure that privacy and civil liberty protections are incorporated into such activities.
	Such protections shall be based on, and here it is, the Fair Information Practice Principles And other privacy and civil liberties policies, principles, and frameworks as they apply to each agency's activities.
	So I'm like, wow!
	What is this Fair Information Practice Principles, known as FIPS, F-I-P-P-S? Well...
	This all comes under Section 5D. Information submitted voluntarily by your spies by private entities under this order shall be protected from disclosure to the fullest extent permitted by law.
	So these deputized spies will be protected under this FIPS framework From prosecution for giving your private information to the government.
	And so I looked up this FIPS thing, and this actually falls under the FTC, Fair Information Practice, and is based on the same privacy standards that is used by the European Union.
	So here is the homogenization, the harmonization of privacy laws across all of these borders.
	It's no coincidence, of course, that we're also now in some kind of free trade agreement talks with Europe at the exact same time.
	And so if you look at the fact sheet here, I'm going to bring this up.
	The fact sheet for Presidential Policy Directive on Critical Infrastructure Security and Resilience.
	To complement the cybersecurity executive order, the administration is also issuing a PPD, a Presidential Policy Directive on Critical Infrastructure Security and Resilience, that updates the national approach from Homeland Security Presidential Directive 7 from 2003.
	This is Bush years to adjust new risk environment.
	Now, let's look at how your privacy is going to be handled by the following two people.
	And these two people are the Officer for Civil Rights and Civil Liberties from Homeland Security.
	That is the acting officer is Tamara Kessler.
	And Mary Ellen Callahan is the Chief Privacy and Freedom of Information Act Officer at the Department of Homeland Security.
	Please, John, Google Mary Ellen Callahan just so you can see who is in charge of your privacy at the Department of Homeland Security.
	Mary Ellen Callahan.
	C-A-L-L-A-H-A-N. And then I will read the rules of...
	Holy mackerel!
	Is she not a Napolitano protege?
	Yeah, no, she's a very large woman with something of a smile on her face.
	Yeah.
	And...
	She's probably, every time I see someone, not to be generalizing, but wasn't there some issue with a bunch of the executives in the Homeland Security harassing, doing sexual harassment against the men that work there?
	Harassing men.
	She looks like a biker dyke.
	I'm sorry, I'm just going to say it, and she looks frightening to me.
	Yeah, she's pretty frightening.
	Here's Phipps, Fair Information Practice Principles.
	There are a number of principles.
	And again, the privacy laws, this is the same convention used for protection of individuals with regard to automatic processing of personal data in Europe and the European Union and the OECD. This has all been set up...
	Years in advance.
	Five principles.
	So here's how your information is going to be handled by your government.
	Number one is notice and awareness.
	Consumers, so now you're a consumer.
	You're not even a citizen.
	You're not an individual.
	You are a consumer right off the bat, according to the White House administration with their rules.
	Consumers should be given notice of an entity's information practices before any personal information is collected from them.
	This will consist of the following.
	Identification of the entity, collecting the data, uses which the data will be put.
	This is all the fine print you're going to see everywhere.
	Identification of any potential recipients of the data, the nature of the data, blah, blah, blah.
	Choice and consent is number two.
	Choice and consent means giving consumers options to control how their data is used.
	Well, you're not going to have a lot of options.
	It'll be opt-in or opt-out.
	Opt-out means you get no service.
	No service for you if you opt-out.
	Opt-in, you get service.
	Problems with choice and consent, access, participation, integrity, security, and enforcement redress.
	Which we already know is not really applicable because every company that shares your information because they think you might be a terrorist or up to no good or a tax dodger, they will be indemnified from any prosecution.
	Now, I'm going to go back to the president of cybersecurity.
	Thank you for the clip, John.
	I'm going to tell you what this is all coming down to.
	It's one thing that is very clear in this order.
	America must also face the rapidly growing threat from cyberattacks.
	Now, we know hackers steal people's identities.
	This is it.
	It is known as the identity ecosystem.
	There's only one thing the government really wants from you, and that is that you on the internet are you.
	You cannot be anonymous.
	This is what it's all about.
	This is what the entire presidential policy directive is about.
	It's all based on the national strategy for trusted identities in cyberspace.
	This was written two years ago.
	The Obama administration released this.
	Google is already doing it.
	Facebook, of course, is doing this.
	Twitter is going to do it.
	Every single service you want to use, On the internet, you will have to be yourself.
	You will have to be identified as you.
	You'll be certified as you because that's what the government really wants.
	That is the only thing.
	It's the identity ecosystem.
	It's right here in the document.
	Everything else is bullcrap because once they know who you are and what you do when you're going somewhere, then you are completely controlled.
	The identity ecosystem is what this is all about.
	I hope it gets us more listeners.
	I think you're right.
	In fact, I think everybody's in lockstep on this idea because they just hate these anonymous people.
	Oh, but you'll see that anonymous is, of course, set up for this very reason.
	If not set up, it's propagated.
	Oh, these anonymous, oh, they're doing that.
	Anonymous does that.
	Can you make it any more clear what the CIA is doing when they propagate an entity in the FBI called anonymous?
	Well, we can't have anonymous.
	What is the exact opposite of anonymous?
	It's the identity ecosystem.
	The only thing that they want is to be able to know who you are on the internet.
	And I am astounded.
	Where is the Wikipedia...
	What's the douchebag's name who runs the Wikimedia?
	What's his name?
	Yeah, Wales.
	Wales.
	Where's the protest?
	Am I missing something?
	Where's Anonymous, for that matter?
	Where is everybody today?
	Did I miss something?
	Am I missing some huge protest going on?
	The slippery slope had begun probably in the late 90s.
	And people are so slow to react to these incremental downslope movements.
	That, you know, okay.
	Yeah, it's going to be good.
	What's the name of this executive order?
	Protection?
	There's always protection or something like that.
	No, it's the...
	Hold on a second.
	The executive...
	Well, there's a number of things.
	It's the...
	Executive Order on Improving Critical Infrastructure Cybersecurity, but what it refers to is the National Strategy for Trusted Identities in Cyberspace.
	Now, this is not happening overnight.
	It's about 200 days where all these reports and everything has to be set up.
	And guess who is in charge of a lot of the programs for setting up the real rules and the way it's going to work?
	NIST. Who?
	NIST, the National Institute for Science and Technology.
	Oh, NIST, science already.
	The same guys who have written in reports that airplanes of the 737-727 can fly 500 miles an hour at 2,000 feet.
	I mean, these guys are full of crap.
	This is in the 9-11 report.
	From NIST. Now, I mean, you can debate whether, you know, how jet fuel works with steel and how buildings...
	I'm not a...
	You know, I don't know anything about architecture and building, and I'm not a structural engineer.
	I am a pilot, and I know what the NIST says, that these 9-11 aircraft were flown at 500 miles an hour at several thousand feet.
	No way.
	This is just not...
	This is not possible.
	That is science.
	That is science.
	The wings would be ripping off that thing.
	Can't even go that fast.
	These guys are not going to be in charge of it?
	Please.
	You're screwed.
	And good on GX2, our resident techno dude.
	He was on the Google Plus, and then Google started harassing him about he has to use his real name.
	He just signed off.
	He said, screw it.
	I'm out.
	Good on you.
	Noagendanewsnetwork.com.
	Drop in your RSS feed.
	You can call yourself whatever you want.
	But all this other stuff, this is truly the beginning of the end.
	If you continue to use the centralized systems.
	You have little choice.
	There's only a few lone wolves out there who go outside the system.
	That's bullcrap.
	Everyone has choice.
	You don't have to be on Facebook.
	You don't stop existing.
	You're talking to the wrong people here.
	Really?
	Half our audience is on Google, on Google +, going, whee, it's so great!
	When are you talking to the wrong people?
	These are the only people I need to talk to.
	No, you're talking to me.
	I'm just saying.
	You're telling me that you don't have to be on Facebook.
	Yeah.
	You are the wrong guy.
	Everybody's on Facebook.
	They have to be.
	For some reason, they have to be on Facebook.
	I'm not on Facebook.
	Everybody is on Facebook but me.
	Are you on Facebook?
	I have not looked at Facebook for two weeks.
	You're on Facebook.
	You're having a Facebook account.
	Does Mickey have a Facebook account?
	She is on Facebook.
	Do I have a Facebook account?
	No.
	Now, can I just say that Dave Jones and I, although he's done all the programming work, have completed the, it's called, I'll just call it, we call it the river thingy, but it's cartillary, and it is now installable.
	You can install it right onto any Unix box.
	It is a complete open source social network based on RSS, OPML, the thing kicks ass.
	I've been using it for a year myself.
	We're just writing up some documentation.
	It can all connect together.
	You can run your own.
	You can have 100 people on your server.
	And it is going to be the only truly free, as in real free stuff, open source alternative to any of this crap.
	And you're going to get on it too, John.
	You're going to love this.
	You're going to love it.
	And you can be whatever you want to be.
	You can be whoever you want to be.
	You can be completely anonymous.
	And it just works.
	And already the entire No Agenda news network and the whole family and everything is all tied into it.
	You don't need to be on Facebook.
	You don't need to be on Google+.
	It's not necessary.
	For what?
	To show how great your life is?
	My life doesn't suck.
	Look at my food.
	That's what it is.
	People.
	Look at my food.
	And what is Google Plus right now?
	It's just links.
	What is Twitter?
	It's just links.
	You don't need the audience, okay?
	You don't need the audience.
	You don't need to be a little reality star.
	This is not necessary.
	That's all you are, and you're falling for it.
	You're all little Kimmy Kardashians.
	Only not as hot.
	Probably not with such a big butt either.
	No.
	So...
	I don't know.
	I haven't seen your butt recently.
	It's not as big...
	Nobody's as big as hers that I can tell.
	Now, I saw...
	By the way...
	Yeah, go on.
	Well, I was going to play some...
	I was going to totally shift gears here for a second.
	Well, I wanted to stick with...
	I got two more Obama things I want to discuss before you do that.
	Okay, sure.
	It plays right into it.
	Great.
	One of them is, by the way, they had Michelle.
	Steve Cook was supposed to be at the event.
	Who was that?
	The Apple guy?
	Yeah, he was supposed to be at the event sitting next to Michelle up in the booth, and he didn't show up.
	But it was in the speech already that Apple would get this plug and they were going to throw the camera on him.
	Oh, really?
	Obama said, oh, and Apple's going to bring their manufacturing back to the U.S. camera to Tim Cook.
	He wasn't there.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	Tell me they had Taylor Swift there.
	No.
	Michelle had, next to her was some old grandmotherly black woman, and there was also a 105-year-old black woman in the place, which she could barely stand.
	And then on Michelle's left, and people can go back and check this again, apparently it was Mao Zedong.
	That was sitting next to her.
	Or at least a woman that looked like Mao Zedong.
	And she also clapped like him.
	If you can imagine this sort of clapping constantly.
	You take your hands and hold them about, let's say, 15 inches in front of your chest and make them, you know, point away from you about, I don't know, just point away from you.
	And then stretch your fingers out so your whole hand is stretched way out and big.
	And then clap like this.
	It sounds like this.
	You can't get any noise.
	And you do it slowly.
	That's what this woman kept doing, like she was something wrong with her.
	By the way, I hope that you wrote a column about the absence of Steve Cook, because that'll go over very well with the Tim.
	I don't know.
	Did I say Steve Cook?
	Yes.
	Oh, Tim Cook, yeah.
	Steve Cook.
	From now on, Steve Cook is done.
	Yeah, no, he's Steve Cook from now on.
	Steve Cook.
	That's it.
	Sorry, Steve Cook.
	Wow.
	You know what?
	People must do that all the time.
	Hey, Steve.
	Oh, crap.
	I mean, Tim, he must get that all the time.
	That must be so horrible.
	All right.
	After the Obama speech, you want to get this in and we're done.
	After the Obama speech, poor...
	What's his name, from Florida, the super guy, the next president of the United States, or at least hopes to be, what's his name, the guy in Florida?
	Rubio.
	Rubio.
	Rubio is there giving a speech.
	This is what you missed that was funny.
	He was giving a speech, and I don't know if you've ever done this, but sometimes, it doesn't happen that often to me, but it has happened, and it's annoying.
	You're talking yourself out, and at some point or other, your saliva goes away.
	Yeah, you just, cotton mouth.
	You go cottonmouth.
	So he had the dual thing.
	He was in some little hot room apparently because he was sweating like Nixon or like the guy in the network show.
	By the way, John, everyone knows what happened.
	This is almost like real news.
	This is not like an unknown.
	Okay, well anyway, I don't know if anyone knows he was sweating while drying out and then he had to grab a thing of water, which was kind of pathetic.
	But right after him then came Rand Paul, who was going to do this speech for the Tea Party.
	Right.
	And nobody would cover this Rand Paul speech.
	Zero.
	One network of all people, which was the Blaze, which is Rand Beck's network.
	Yeah.
	Played it.
	And, you know, I thought it was actually pretty good, but then they went back to this little panel that they have on this Wilco show, including this...
	Yeah, and they were just laughing about Rubio's water drink fiasco.
	They were talking about how bad the speech was from Rand Paul, and it went on and on.
	And this one little attractive mulatto girl was...
	She decided to...
	She was just raving about the Obama speech, and she got kind of a...
	She discussed what she thought of how great the speech was, and then they brought in the senator from Utah, Mike Lee, who set her straight.
	And what was interesting to me was that he set her straight.
	I mean, it's obvious to me that the Glenn Beck group, they're just borderline liberals.
	Senator Lee, you were in the chamber listening to the President's State of the Union address tonight.
	I was struck by how conciliatory it was, surprisingly so, opening...
	Did she just say conservatory?
	Conciliatory.
	Oh, thank you.
	...with JFK quoting that we are not rivals for power, we're sharing power.
	Was that your reaction, and what was the mood of the chamber?
	No, I wonder whether we were watching the same speech.
	I mean, I don't think I heard more than about two conciliatory syllables in the entire speech.
	Look, this was a rant that made the president's inauguration speech look very tame by comparison.
	Wow, was that shared by your colleagues sitting with you?
	Yeah, I think so.
	I mean, I saw a number of my Republican colleagues who were not standing or clapping a lot.
	Look, the President went right for the jugular at one moment where he came out and said, if Congress isn't going to act on climate change, I will.
	I'll do it without them.
	This is the same sort of in-your-face, go-it-alone approach that we've been seeing from this President, and he brought it out yet again tonight.
	It's offensive.
	It's counterproductive.
	It runs contrary to the rule of law.
	And I don't think we as Americans should have to put up with that.
	We do have an elected legislative branch in this country.
	And the president needs to acknowledge that.
	You know, so this could have been MSNBC. I mean, it's exactly the same kind of talk.
	You know what's interesting?
	This whole Glenn Beck operation.
	I know one of the head writers there, and I didn't find out until like a year ago.
	His name is Mike Opelka.
	Coach Mike, we used to call him.
	You know how I know Coach Mike?
	You know what he used to do for like 10 years?
	He produced the morning zoo for Z100. This is the kind of people who are over there.
	And he's a complete Obama bot.
	He's just writing differently now for whatever gig.
	Now, Beck is, it's mainstream.
	Those guys are all mainstream.
	Compromised.
	Selling gold.
	Selling gold.
	With this little exchange.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That was like, I didn't realize Beck's operation was actually, it's a phony operation.
	It's like, you know, he's just another guy selling gold.
	So, I had heard about this Prayer breakfast speech by a certain guy called Dr.
	Carson.
	Have you heard about this?
	Yeah, this is the big hero of the day.
	I haven't seen this speech.
	I haven't even seen this guy.
	You must have done something with him.
	I did.
	And it actually, you know, people, I'd seen this around, like, oh, this is great, this is fantastic.
	I'm like, well, you know, maybe.
	And then I saw him on some...
	Is his first name again?
	Carson.
	Then I saw him on some...
	You have a first name, is his last name?
	Just Dr.
	Carson.
	I don't know.
	And then I see him on some news show, and he says the following.
	You know, I'm very focused on education and getting the populace back to where it used to be, like back in 1831, when Alexis de Tocqueville came here and was so impressed.
	And so he's saying, This is on CNN or something.
	No one knows who the hell that guy is from 1831.
	Now we know, because we've discussed it on the show, when the French guy went to go check out Our Republic and wrote about it.
	It's a very famous document.
	Like, okay, this guy's talking in riddles.
	He's clearly not scripted.
	Because an uneducated populist will fall for anything.
	And if you go and you talk to most people, they mean well, but they don't have much of a breadth of...
	Of education, of knowledge, of understanding what the real issues are.
	And therefore, they listen to pundits on television who tell them what they're supposed to think, and they keep repeating that, and pretty soon they say, oh, well, that must be true.
	I'm like, okay!
	This guy is interesting.
	I think I will watch his prayer breakfast.
	I have a couple of clips from this, and this is an unbelievable...
	I'm just going to play you a couple of clips.
	You must watch this thing in its entirety.
	It's about half an hour.
	He was a guest speaker at this fellowship prayer breakfast meeting.
	The president's there.
	The first lady is there.
	O'Biden is there.
	And this guy, and he's a neurosurgeon.
	He's about to retire, actually.
	He's a neurosurgeon.
	He's black.
	I'm sorry, African-American.
	And he is a favored speaker.
	I think he's certainly done this before.
	And he gets up, and the president is sitting five feet away from him.
	And I'm telling you, every single time you hear the audience laugh or clap, the president is looking there pissed, pissed off.
	He is so angry.
	And he's texting on it.
	You can't see it behind the table.
	He's on his Blackberry texting to someone like, how did you get me?
	Somehow he was set up either by his own people or God.
	I don't know.
	But there's a God angle to this.
	But just listen to a few of the things that this Carson said.
	So here's his kind of setup on political correctness.
	And this is where the president's still kind of laughing and kind of having a good time with this guy at this point.
	Which I think is a horrible thing, by the way.
	I'm very, very compassionate, and I'm not ever out to offend anyone.
	But PC is dangerous.
	Because you see, this country, one of the founding principles was freedom of thought and freedom of expression.
	And it muffles people.
	It puts a muzzle on them.
	And at the same time, Keeps people from discussing important issues while the fabric of their society is being changed.
	And we cannot fall for that trick.
	This is the point where Obama's face goes, hold on a second, he's telling him it's a trick.
	Shut up, man!
	And what we need to do is start talking about things.
	Talking about things that are important.
	Things that were important in the development of our nation.
	Okay, so at this point the president's like, hold on a second, what is this guy doing?
	Now, and so this is an educated, a little bit older than our president, educated black man laying the smack down on him.
	This is a guy who, by the way, no teleprompter.
	This guy is talking.
	He's just doing it off the top of his head.
	He's looking right at people.
	There's no little glass plates for him to be looking at to read this.
	And the president is going, oh, holy crap.
	This guy is the real deal.
	So, let's see.
	This guy is a neurosurgeon, but he thought it would be kind of funny to talk about our president, because our president is a lawyer.
	Some people say, eh, you're overblowing it.
	Things aren't that bad.
	And you're a doctor, a neurosurgeon.
	Why are you concerned about these things?
	I've got news for you.
	Five doctors signed the Declaration of Independence.
	Doctors were involved in the frame of the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, a whole bunch of things.
	It's only been in recent decades that we've extracted ourselves, which I think is a big mistake.
	We need doctors and we need scientists, engineers, we need all those people involved in government.
	Not just lawyers.
	I don't have anything against lawyers.
	But, you know, here's the thing about lawyers.
	I'm sorry, but I've got to be truthful.
	Obama is frowning.
	He's looking like...
	Everyone's laughing.
	What do lawyers learn in law school to win?
	By hook or by crook, you've got to win.
	So you've got all these Democrat lawyers, and you've got all these Republican lawyers, and their side wants to win.
	We need to get rid of that.
	What we need to start thinking about is how do we solve problems?
	President, not clapping, not laughing.
	And now before I get shot, let me finish here.
	Right, right, right.
	So I'm like, oh my God.
	Now, now the guy is going to, he's going to, he's taking out his knife and he's going to stick it right into the number one thing this president is proud of.
	Health care.
	We need to have good health care for everybody.
	It's the most important thing that a person can have.
	Money means nothing.
	Titles means nothing when you don't have your health.
	But we've got to figure out efficient ways to do it.
	We spend a lot of money on healthcare, twice as much per capita as anybody else in the world, and yet not very efficient.
	What can we do?
	Here's my solution.
	Okay, what do you think he's going to roll out?
	So we've just had this whole Obamacare thing.
	The whole medical world has been turned upside down.
	We've got insurance companies.
	It's a bonanza.
	This guy's standing five feet from the hero of Obamacare.
	What is he going to suggest we do?
	Obviously get rid of Obamacare.
	When a person is born, give them a birth certificate, an electronic medical record, and a health savings account, to which money can be contributed pre-tax from the time you're born to the time you die.
	When you die, you can pass it on to your family members so that when you're 85 years old and you've got six diseases, you're not trying to spin up everything.
	You're happy to pass it on and there's nobody talking about death panels.
	That's number one.
	And also, you know, for the people who are indigent who don't have any money, We can make contributions to their HSA each month because we already have this huge pot of money.
	Instead of sending it to some bureaucracy, let's put it in their HSAs.
	Now they have some control over their own healthcare.
	And what do you think they're going to do?
	They're going to learn very quickly how to be responsible.
	When Mr.
	Jones gets that diabetic foot ulcer, he's not going to the emergency room and blowing a big chunk of it.
	He's going to go to the clinic.
	He learns that very quickly.
	Gets the same treatment in the emergency room.
	They send him out in the clinic.
	They say, now let's get your diabetes under control so you're not back here in three weeks with another problem.
	That's how we begin to solve these kinds of problems.
	It's much more complex than that, and I don't have time to go into it all.
	But we can do all of these things because we're smart people.
	So, and now the president's on his blackberry.
	He's like, what the fuck?
	And he's not even looking at the guy anymore.
	He's so angry.
	And he's on the dais.
	And this is C-SPAN. So you can see this is a single-camera shot.
	It's the most unbelievable thing.
	This guy's laying the smackdown.
	He's well-educated.
	He's smart.
	We know his credentials.
	He's a neurosurgeon.
	He's African-American.
	The guy's funny.
	I mean, I don't have half of the jokes he was cracking.
	And then, all right, let's just totally screw the president right here and right now.
	That's right.
	And like I said, I'm not politically correct, so I'm sorry.
	But, you know, our deficit is a big problem.
	Think about it.
	And our national debt, $16.5 trillion.
	You think that's not a lot of money?
	Tell you what.
	Count one number per second, which you can't even do, because once you get to $1,000, it'll take you longer than a second.
	But one number per second.
	You know how long it would take you to count the $16 trillion?
	507,000 years.
	More than a half a million years.
	And Paul was like, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
	People aren't supposed to be thinking.
	Don't say think about it.
	Don't let them think this is my good.
	Slaves be thinking for themselves now.
	Shut up!
	...to get there.
	We have to deal with this.
	Here's the parable.
	A family falls on hard times.
	Dad loses his job or is demoted.
	Gets part-time work.
	He has five children.
	He comes to the five children.
	He says, we're going to have to reduce your allowance.
	Well, they're not happy about it, but...
	He said, except for John and Susan.
	They're special.
	They get to keep their allowance.
	In fact, we may give them more.
	How do you think that's going to go down?
	Not too well.
	Same thing happens.
	Enough said.
	What about our taxation system?
	So complex...
	There is no one who can possibly comply with every jot and tittle of our tax and tax.
	If I wanted to get you or you, I could get you on a tax issue.
	Now, this is where he made a mistake, and you should never have given the president this idea, because you're going down on the tax, my friend.
	That doesn't make any sense.
	What we need to do is come up with something that's simple.
	And when I pick up my Bible, you know what I see?
	I see the fairest individual in the universe, God, and he's given us a system.
	It's called tithe.
	Now, we don't necessarily have to do it 10%, but it's principle.
	He didn't say, if your crops fail, don't give me any tithes.
	He didn't say, if you have a bumper crop, give me triple tithes.
	So there must be something inherently fair about proportionality.
	You make $10 billion, you put in a billion.
	You make $10, you put in one.
	Of course, you've got to get rid of the loopholes.
	Now, some people say...
	They say, well that's not fair, because it doesn't hurt the guy who made ten billion dollars as much as the guy who made ten...
	Where does it say you have to hurt the guy?
	He just put a billion dollars in the pot.
	You know, we don't need to hurt him.
	It's that kind of thinking that has resulted in 602 banks in the Cayman Islands.
	That money needs to be back here, building our infrastructure and creating jobs.
	And we're smart enough We're smart enough to figure out how to do that.
	We've already started down the path of solving one of the other big problems.
	And that's where he gets into healthcare, so I play it out of order.
	How awesome is that?
	I mean, he played the God card.
	Like God said, this is how Jesus did it, man.
	What do you want to say, Barack?
	And then when he's done, the president, everyone gets up.
	The president doesn't even get up.
	He doesn't look at him.
	He doesn't clap.
	He doesn't get up.
	He acts like such a spoiled baby that this was a very, for the first time, really displayed in public how childish and just really sad, really, really sad when you get someone who's really...
	Making sense and saying some intelligence thing.
	You can have arguments, but wow, I was just blown away.
	And I passed over this clip at least five times in the past week.
	Like, yeah, yeah, whatever.
	And so I thought it was so important just to play some of this, because I was blown away by this.
	And this, of course, gets zero play.
	Zero.
	You got a lot of play on the Rush Limbaugh show.
	Oh, really?
	Okay.
	Well, there you go.
	I'm a Republican.
	I don't know about that.
	I don't think Rush Limbaugh is a Republican.
	Did he play any of this stuff?
	Did he play these clips?
	I didn't hear that.
	I only heard in passing because I was...
	There's no way because he's got commercials.
	I don't know.
	I didn't hear the show.
	It was just a rundown of the show and he went on and on about how important this guy was and his speech was great.
	But I did run into something that was kind of a healthcare-related.
	They're starting to break down the Obamacare thing just before it goes into full position in 2014.
	And now it turns out it's only going to help about 9 million people out of all these 40 that they tried to help.
	Especially these small companies with over 50 people.
	Do you know what the dollar amount of money that has to be contributed to this system by the employers, the companies that have the 50 people or whatever?
	Per hour?
	What do you mean per hour?
	On top of their regular salary?
	You've got to ask me the question again because I'm not quite sure I'm understanding what you're saying here.
	If I have a company and I'm paying everybody $10 an hour, what edition do I have to pay to cover the Obamacare nut so everyone's covered and everything is legal?
	What in addition?
	Wow.
	$0.50?
	$7.50.
	$0.50.
	Wait a minute.
	You're paying everyone $10 an hour, and in order to help everybody else out, you can now pay $17.50?
	$7.50 goes to the system, to the government, to the health care, to Obamacare.
	Obamacare gets $7.50 an hour per employee.
	And that number looks legitimate to me.
	And where did you come up with this?
	Rush Limbaugh show?
	No, Rush Limbaugh.
	I was just talking about stuff like that.
	I was going to say, I was so happy with these clips and then you just slapped me down like, Rush Limbaugh played it all.
	I'm like, wow, I feel like a dick now.
	Why?
	Just because this is what you always do.
	You're always assuming that there's no value in anything anybody else does.
	I mean, I can kind of understand.
	Correct.
	Correct.
	But these other guys do pick up on these things.
	And if it's Obama bashing, you can be absolutely sure that Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh will be all over it.
	And in fact, I believe that according to the Wikipedia page, this guy has been on the Hannity program.
	Oh, really?
	Not unknown.
	So how come a guy like this is not...
	Well, I can tell you why.
	So this guy is not...
	He didn't just arrive on the scene.
	No, in fact, he got the Presidential Medal of Freedom, which is not easy to come by, at the White House on June 20, 2008.
	He's been around.
	He's just been ignored.
	Right, but this just shows you how parties are run.
	They run some douchebag Bain CEO, Romney.
	They run him as candidate.
	This is a leader.
	He talks like a leader.
	He conducts himself like a leader.
	He brings in what Americans love.
	A little bit of God talk in there.
	We love that.
	We love our Bible stuff.
	It doesn't matter where you're from.
	We love it.
	We just love it.
	That makes a lot of sense.
	My understanding of what this guy said and that whole thing, I will watch it because I didn't know that the Obama grimace thing was so obvious.
	Oh, it's hilarious.
	Which is one of the...
	You'll love it.
	I'll watch it.
	I'll see what this guy has to say.
	But the most important thing, and this is what I really...
	You listen to his tithe thing, and what is he saying there?
	Value for value.
	That's what he's saying.
	He's talking about, you know, you don't have to screw people.
	You can do just a piece, consistent, whatever it is, but you have to do it.
	Yeah.
	Otherwise you go to hell, by the way.
	Right, and I think if people don't get a subscription to the No Agenda show, this could happen to them.
	Yes, they will go to hell, exactly.
	I'm going to show my support by donating to No Agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh, yeah, that'd be fab.
	Yeah, on Noah Jones.
	In the morning.
	We do have some contributors to the show 487, including William...
	Do you think that'll work if we do...
	Donate or go to hell.
	You sound a little like the devil.
	I am Dvorak.
	I own your ass.
	William Ashby in Mobile, Alabama.
	Mobile.
	Mobile.
	130.
	Give everyone some Mayan long count karma, which is 13.0.0.0.0.
	Hopefully it isn't bad karma.
	Also, there used to be a 33 jingle with a woman over the loudspeaker followed by some Dvorak Obey.
	Please play that one if you can find it.
	I missed the 33 jingle.
	How old was Dorner?
	33!
	33!
	Which, of course, is the giveaway.
	Now, he says there was something...
	I don't know what he's talking about.
	A 33 jingle with a woman?
	33 is the magic number.
	No, he's talking about something else.
	He's talking about a woman over the loudspeaker followed by...
	I think he was talking about you on the loudspeaker.
	Maybe.
	Well, I'll do this.
	33!
	Advertise.
	That's a magic number.
	33!
	You will obey.
	I don't know how I became one of these things.
	Sir Oscar Nadal in Tecate, California, 10101.
	Juan in Alberto, can I get some divorce karma?
	Yikes.
	Suggest appropriate jingle for it, please.
	Oh, and also, fuck Valentine's Day.
	Actually, I think I have a jingle for him here.
	Let's see.
	Maybe I don't.
	We'll just give you some divorce karma, I guess.
	You've got karma.
	Heather Aronson, but he just needs the karma.
	In San Francisco, $100.
	So who's organizing the No Agenda DMT meetup?
	Can I say something?
	I got a number of people email me about our discussion about DMT. And I listened to this segment again.
	It sounds like you're saying that you never used it, tried it, but that you made it.
	And a lot of people are saying, wait a minute, were you a chemistry major?
	I was a chemist, actually, for a while.
	But I was a chemist, not a chemist.
	I think people were right.
	I think you were making the stuff.
	You were baking.
	I passed my ham technician's test, and I'm waiting.
	My call sign says Heather.
	Right!
	All right, Heather.
	Also, I'm approaching my damehood.
	I'd really like to see a no-agenda knight's pin that resembles a freshman lapel pin.
	Or a Freemason lapel pin, sorry.
	Freemason.
	Quite a mistake to make there, my friend.
	Yeah, Freemason.
	Let's do it.
	Thanks again for all you do, Heather.
	All right, Heather.
	Well, first of all, we'll give you a little bit of ham there.
	Congratulations.
	And when you get your ham sign, I hope to work you.
	Ashley Hurst in Seattle, Washington, 1999.
	While struggling to get through Obama's State of the Union, I have come to realize he's a pasta-farian pushing the noodles agenda.
	Playing me out.
	That's a good one.
	Pasta-farian.
	I like that.
	Very good.
	That's good, pasta-farian.
	Yeah, noodles agenda.
	The noodles kid.
	Playing me out with the Parliament mumble, two to the head, LGY.
	Happy fucking Valentine's Day, says Ashley.
	Wow!
	You've got carbon.
	And I might as well give you a...
	And as for that, Janie Cochran in Wichita, Kansas has a $99.99.
	Donation is for the love of my life, Matthew.
	I'm honored and humbled to be your valentine.
	Thank you for punching me in the mouth.
	It certainly has strengthened our marital bond.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	Hello.
	I think she's dead on.
	The No Agenda Show.
	It keeps families together.
	Absolutely.
	We're better than Disneyland.
	And thank you, Adam and John, for all that you do, XOXO. Send pictures.
	999 she needs.
	Does she need that?
	Well, she's got it.
	999!
	Sir Scott in Herndon, Virginia, 99.99.
	Please keep my last name off the air.
	I think we managed that, luckily.
	The last few shows have kicked ass.
	I've been traveling around Gitmo Nation for a few weeks, and you guys have made my journeys most entertaining.
	I traveled via Amtrak last week, and that clip you played was dead on.
	The Viper team subjected me to buggery.
	But it's okay, because it made me in America safer.
	We feel much safer, actually.
	The high-speed rail was pretty cool, but still screw Atlas shrugged.
	I've been remiss in sending cash.
	Helmet Kathy fucked the karma cancer.
	Due to my negligence, she needs a potent dose of it.
	I'm going to do an experiment to see if the mixture of jingles helps her get better.
	Please send her a combo of the mac and cheese song and the karma jingle.
	You slaves can get used to mac and cheese.
	Mac and cheese.
	Mac and cheese.
	Cheese macaroni and cheese cheddar melted together.
	Mac and cheese.
	You've got karma.
	Mr.
	Peabody, without...
	I forgot his character's other name.
	Anyway, Sherman.
	Nacotochus.
	Nacotochus.
	I don't know.
	Someplace in Louisiana.
	Mr.
	Peabody here in the other ham donation.
	Can't quite go for the hugs and kisses to Abercrombie and Ebenezer, so 73s for your last shows.
	Don't be so surprised about the presentism in Lincoln.
	Thought they'd have even more references to how he had to command in the crisis.
	They missed the chance to line up suspending habeas corpus with droning.
	Can I have a pot calls kettle Dr.
	Kiki Karma for both my hot girlfriend running in the Austin Marathon this weekend and a little extra job karma for myself, 73s.
	73 is to you.
	And I would like to point out that Steven Spielberg has announced that he is sending a DVD of Lincoln to every single middle school in America because it's great for their education.
	It's true.
	It's true.
	He's making a big deal about this.
	What hubris.
	Yeah, and you know that even there's a huge factual error, there's a number of them, but that the Democratic senators voted against where they voted for, and it's like all kinds of things are wrong with this, but he is sending it so all the little slavelets will all believe that Lincoln, the entire thing, was all about freeing the slaves, and that's all that it's about.
	Nothing.
	The whole Civil War was solved.
	Everything was done.
	Nothing about taxation or secession or anything.
	Please don't learn any of that, kids.
	Let's not do that.
	Because Steven Spielberg said it's good.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	A known Democrat operative.
	Shut up already!
	Science!
	You've got karma.
	Yeah, but I mean, the fact that schools are going to do that, going to allow that drivel to be displayed in classrooms.
	I think, yeah.
	Sports of education will put a stop to it.
	But this just proves how these movies, you know, what's going to be next?
	Like, you won't get a history book, you just get a Netflix account.
	Hey, it's time for history class, everybody.
	Let's open up our iPads to Netflix and let's watch Zero Dark Thirty so we can learn about the truth about how we got Bin Laden.
	Okay, we're on a new segment.
	Hit it.
	69!
	69, dudes!
	Starting with Glenn Pogue, San Francisco.
	I made a 6969 donation.
	Can I get the following V-Day call out to my expecting wife, Lisa?
	Lisa, I love you and can't wait to meet Tucker.
	It turns out the last 17 years were just our first act.
	Now things get interesting.
	Lisa would love this jingle.
	You've got karma.
	Shut up at science.
	Two to the head, LGY. Thank you, bangers and mash, for all the great content.
	Okay, so it's karma, but then it's a chaser of shut up, two to the head, LGY. All right.
	You've got karma.
	Shut up already!
	Science!
	Yay!
	All right.
	Matthew Polakowski, Lakewood, Ohio.
	Polakowski.
	Greetings, gentlemen.
	The purpose of this donation is to add to the ever-growing list of proof that no-agenda job karma works.
	Works, I tell you.
	My lovely wife has been unhappy with her current job as an administrator for a non-profit agency and has been trying to figure out what direction to take her life.
	I've made a vow to the universe that if a good job karma smiled on her, I would make a 6969 donation to the best podcast in the universe.
	A day after I made that vow, a former boss of hers called.
	And said he would like her to apply for a position at the place he now works.
	Today, she got the job.
	So I do not wish to be a douchebag in the eyes of the universe.
	I'm keeping my word.
	Can I please get a Pelosi jobs, jobs, jobs, little Gloria and Karma.
	Thank you both for the great work you do.
	And then he mentions that Kevin Smith is ridiculous.
	Yeah, like the non-mention.
	Like the, hey, screw you.
	Whatever.
	But people like that.
	That's what's interesting.
	People think it was really positive.
	Am I just a negative kind of guy?
	Are you rubbing off on me?
	Is that what's happening here?
	No, not at all.
	I think you're in the business.
	We're kind of entertainers in a lot of ways, and we know the importance of a plug.
	And this douchebag wouldn't even give us a simple plug.
	Now, the general public doesn't appreciate that kind of thinking, but that's exactly what's going on here.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Instead of saying, you know, like, noagendashow.com, or even, I would have even settled for a daily source code.
	Anything.
	Anything.
	It says, like, Ricky Gervais and talking to all their comedy friends.
	Yeah.
	All right, anyways.
	I'm sorry.
	I get off on this.
	It's not good.
	All right, here we go.
	Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs.
	Let's vote for jobs!
	Yeah!
	You've got karma.
	Yeah.
	People are going to think I'm sour or something, but no, that's just the business.
	No, no, no.
	It's annoying.
	It's the business, man.
	That's not how it's supposed to work.
	Somebody uses your technology and they thank you without really thanking or giving you the...
	What is so hard?
	We, on this show, we plug anything anybody wants us to plug.
	We constantly do it.
	Yeah.
	You know, a guy's got a little website.
	You know, throw him a crumb, for God's sake.
	Yes, a pittance.
	Anything.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Anyway, Alex Thomas comes in from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, 69, 690.
	He did send a note in which I'll read some pieces of.
	Dear Jono, Aza, and Molly, I was introduced to the Curry and Dvorak News recasting service about three months ago, so I need some de-douching.
	I want to send respect and get some karma for you guys for being so vocal for the rest of us.
	I also just wanted to quickly say one thing regarding Adam's take on the Alex Jones-Pierce Morgan interview.
	I agree with the assumption that the event was staged by Pierce.
	But I think Alex did the right thing.
	Well, whatever.
	So he goes on with some other issues.
	And he said, want any karma here?
	I noted these laws.
	He talks about that.
	He talks about it.
	It's interesting.
	I live in Australia and we civilians have no semi-autos, no pump actions, no pistols of any kind.
	Pretty much just bolt actions and cowboy rifles unless you are either law enforcement or go through the personal identification equivalent of a rectal exam.
	You cannot even have a pepper spray canister with the exception of one state.
	This is all largely due to the Port Arthur shooting which took place in a period of where gun violence was low and still decreasing statistically for years prior.
	So they just did this, you know, created a situation and then took the guns.
	Yes.
	Duh!
	That's how we roll.
	That's how we roll.
	I don't see a request for karma, but send him a karma anyway.
	That's how we roll.
	At least we give people a karma.
	You've got karma.
	You know, little pins.
	Instead of making fun of your name all the time, although I have to say we are the kings of making fun of people's names.
	Steve.
	Really.
	Steve Cook.
	Really.
	Steve Cook.
	That's an all-time low for you, John.
	You know, the problem is we have, since we do this with everybody's name, You know, like Chip Gregory on the end of that show.
	Lucy Napolitano.
	And it's generally done by subconscious references to what the person kind of reminds of what their name really should be.
	Correct.
	And we don't mean it in a harmful way.
	No.
	Not at all.
	Playful.
	It's a playful one.
	Richard Harriman in Lisbon, Maine.
	I could not find an email from him to explain this.
	Kyle Smith in Berlin, Wisconsin.
	Kyle Smith from Fondlesac, Wisconsin.
	In the morning, Juan and Adam.
	First-time donor, long-time boner.
	Would love a de-douching and some job karma.
	Graduated in May with my BS in political science, but still no luck.
	Anyway, after a much-needed de-douching, is there any way I could get Adam to tell the chatroom to go fuck themselves?
	Followed by a parliament grumble.
	Back to you, bro.
	Wow.
	This is a tall order.
	Yeah, I think I can do that.
	I'll do the de-douching and all of that all in one go.
	Here we go.
	You've been de-douched.
	Hey, chat room!
	Go fuck yourselves!
	Dr.
	Fauci, thanks so much as always for joining us.
	Good to be here, bro.
	You've got karma.
	Bro, something's so funny about that.
	Anyway, that's the end of this segment, so hit it.
	Oh, uh...
	Bing!
	69!
	69, dude!
	Back to you, bro.
	Back to you, bro.
	Melody Vaughn in Parts Unknown.
	Double niggles on a dime.
	She sent a note in Dear Crack Pipe and Buzzsaw.
	As a right-wing Christian conservative homeschooling nutjob, we considered our sacred duty as parents to hit our children in the mouth.
	So you can imagine how pleased and gratified we were to unexpectedly hear our youngest son donate to the best podcast in the universe until we realized it was in the swazzle nuffs category.
	Ben, the 69 references relates to a number of years I have to be dead before you acknowledge that you even know what that means.
	As you know, your parents never had sex, but we've heard about it.
	So call if you have any questions.
	Melody, man.
	Melody, hey, lovely Melody, that's very funny.
	You made my day with that one.
	That's a good one.
	Jonas Olson and Eslov.
	Gentlemen, 5217.
	Thank you for your great work.
	I'm donating 50 buckaroos plus Sunday's date in hopes it will bring me luck on my first date with a girl I met at an internet dating site.
	Okay, you're doing this all wrong.
	Please have some happy first date karma.
	Here's to hoping, he says.
	This is what Swazilov is for.
	That's what you mean?
	But this is first date karma?
	What is that?
	You hope you're going to get a number?
	Okay, well here it comes.
	As requested.
	Good first date.
	You've got karma.
	Daniel Torellio in Charleston, South Carolina.
	Here's a few bucks on my favorite conspiracy theorists, beggars Elijah, Fred, and Ethel.
	I've been a douchebag and a boner since October 28th when my first born human resource came into existence and charged or changed up my routine.
	Now that Uncle Sam has given back the excess of my fair share and I... I had to pass on it.
	By the way, on the last episode, you differentiated between NA listeners and producers.
	I was hurt because even though I never donated enough to become a producer, on one side episode, I'm definitely not a low-life listener who doesn't recognize the value of the programming.
	Anyways, karma for Fred and Ethel on the upcoming move.
	I hope the carpet doesn't rip.
	Regards, Daniel T. $50.01.
	I'm not quite sure what the carpet reference is.
	I don't know.
	Okay.
	Well, thank you very much.
	Did he want a dedouching?
	Matt, did it match the drapes?
	I think he wanted to know.
	Did he want a dedouching?
	It was just a karma is what it was.
	There we go.
	You've got karma.
	Bob and Hawk in Anna, Illinois, 50.
	Happy Valentine's Day to Raleigh, my wonderful husband of 12 years and a faithful NA listener.
	Sweet.
	Jason Green in Douglasville, Georgia.
	Here's another small donation to underwrite the show on behalf of protectorsystems.com.
	You might remember that we are a startup building manual-powered raw water treatment systems for villages in developing regions.
	Wow.
	When I last underwrote the show before Christmas, I pledged to donate again if Protector Systems reached 225 likes on Facebook.
	Thank you so much to the 50-plus producers who did just that.
	It is heartwarming to be a part of the No Agenda family, although we didn't reach the target.
	I'm going to give it another shot.
	If we reach 300 likes on Facebook.com slash Protector Systems, by next Thursday's show, I'll donate again and I'll tell you about our system that will soon be heading to Haiti.
	Thank you, JCD and AC, for creating something that is so much more than a podcast.
	Oh, that's a good tagline, too.
	So much more than a podcast.
	I like it.
	Yeah, I'm digging that.
	Well, first of all, I know I looked at it last time, but now that it's going to Haiti, that's kind of cool.
	You can bet they didn't get any of that Bill Clinton money.
	Nobody did.
	Yeah, Bill Clinton got some of that Bill Clinton money.
	By the way, we talked in the last show about how Hillary is going to take some time off.
	Yes.
	Finish the face job.
	Yeah, duh.
	Well, we didn't mention that.
	I think we should mention it.
	I think we did.
	I got a shot.
	This is going to be good.
	I never saw this before, and I've saved it in a file.
	A beautiful shot of Hillary and some other people doing something.
	Somebody's giving me somebody an award or trophy.
	And this is a fantastic profile shot of Hillary.
	So you see, you have a good shot of...
	Of this hanging skin.
	Hanging skin.
	Hanging skin.
	And across from her, by the way, is Nancy Pelosi, who's, I think, 71 now.
	And Pelosi looks like she's 30 years younger than Hillary.
	She's hanging boobs.
	I bet even money that Hillary's going to go to Pelosi's plastic surgeon.
	Well, Pelosi has amazing knockers.
	I mean, they're watermelons.
	Yeah.
	I just threw up in my mouth just thinking of it.
	That's really bad.
	I can't believe we've been talking about this.
	It's like old man talk.
	Hold on a second.
	Don't we have to do a karma here?
	A karma?
	He didn't want a karma.
	He didn't want a karma.
	Okay.
	But I do like the...
	No agenda so much more than a podcast.
	I like it.
	Jeremy Falk in Yucatan.
	Hola, Carlos and Pinofilo.
	They've got some crazy characters.
	I can't see them on here.
	Greetings from the Yucatan.
	Today is my 10-year wedding anniversary, and I feel guilty about a weekend, so here is 50 bucks.
	Please give me a de-douching and some work karma from my HaciendaXXM.com.
	HaciendaXXM.com.
	What is that?
	I don't know.
	Check it out or you de-douche him.
	Okay.
	You've been de-douched.
	You've got karma.
	Hacienda.
	What is it?
	XIXIM.com.
	This is not a very snappy thing to rattle off to people.
	Oh, wow!
	You've got to check this out.
	Hacienda XIXIM is a magnificently restored 16th century hacienda located in the jungles of the Yucatan Peninsula and is the plantation home of Yucatan Bamboo, Inc.
	John!
	This is a vacation pad.
	Is this guy the owner of it?
	Yes!
	Yeah, this is beautiful.
	Vacationing in the Yucatan paradise.
	We'll have to send him an email asking if the internet connection is any good and we can each go down there for a couple of shows.
	He's got like the Inca things there.
	What does it cost?
	He's got rates here.
	Hold on a second.
	Let's see what it costs.
	Is that his wife?
	Cool.
	I'm sure we can negotiate a deal.
	Yeah, he's got like cool looking food there.
	He's like little windows.
	Here it is.
	Pool view room.
	The dungeon room, 120 per night, based on double occupancy.
	The dungeon room, 120 per night.
	Ruben's room.
	There's the cistern room A, the cistern room B, the casita suite.
	We could have a night meeting down there.
	Oh my god, how awesome would that be?
	I want the dungeon room.
	Yeah, I'm sure you do.
	Anyway.
	It has two king beds and two twin beds with a private bath.
	Yeah, do they have the pine kefs already provided?
	What?
	What?
	Mike Westerfield, $50.
	And David Kroll finishes off today from Hamilton, Ohio.
	Sir Mike Westerfield, by the way, and David Kroll.
	I want to thank everybody who gave us some help on this show.
	And remember...
	Sunday's coming up.
	I would like to guilt everybody, if you don't mind, for a minute.
	Yeah, we had the 214s, but that's just people doing special shout-outs.
	Where's your value for value?
	Excuse me, what are you paying?
	I do this exercise with Ms.
	Mickey all the time, and particularly in L.A. You walk around L.A., and then at the end of the day, you say, what did I spend on junk?
	Just crap, like a coffee or a water, and it's $20, $30.
	So please, just take some of that and support us.
	If we're not entertaining you for five to six hours a week, then go away and don't think about supporting us at all.
	But if we are, and you enjoy it, then support us.
	It's a very simple system.
	We're not going to sell you gold.
	We can talk openly.
	We don't have to hit the top of the hour for the network news.
	We don't have to employ writers.
	You know, this is what we need.
	We need some support from you.
	And it has been light.
	It's been really, really light.
	I know that it's the beginning of the year, but look at what you're spending.
	My God, we're going through this move.
	We're changing address.
	I'm like, oh my God, I'm going to cut this out.
	What are we paying for it?
	Do you know how many things, if you just look at your bank account statement, little $5 subscription thingies that you signed up for that you can't get rid of?
	Have you ever looked at that, John?
	Yeah, there's all kinds of weird crap on a statement.
	I mean, there's like, you know, ifstockphoto.com, and then there's, you know, there's a little subscription for this, a little subscription for that.
	And before you know it, at the end of the month, that's $20.
	So just tell me if you're getting value from all these little subscriptions you've got, or if you'd like to help us out.
	Here's how you do it.
	That's where you do it.
	Where else can they go, John?
	Then go to ChannelDivorek.com slash NA, also the No Agenda Nation website, and No Agenda Show has got a button you can push on.
	That's a very good idea.
	It's your birthday, birthday!
	I'm No Agenda!
	Tom Kilbry congratulates his girlfriend, Nancy, who is one hot smoking babe turned 70 on the We're good to go.
	No nights, I know.
	No nights.
	No nights.
	However...
	You're a fuck!
	Do you like that new jingle we've got here?
	What did he say?
	Oh, you didn't hear it?
	No, listen again.
	Europe's fucked!
	Europe's fucked?
	Yeah.
	There goes our editor.
	That's Ryan Sprinkle from amspictures.com.
	He's making a couple of funny...
	He actually made one for you, too.
	Here's one.
	It hasn't come up, but he has...
	Bond Apocalypse!
	It's the Bond Apocalypse.
	Oh, the Bond Apocalypse.
	Bond Apocalypse.
	All right, so under his Europe category, we have a nice little ditty here from our buddy Nigel Farage, who was talking about a new phenomenon.
	As you know, the European Parliament, the elections are coming up, and they have decided, as is possible according to their treaties, because they don't really have a constitution, According to the treaties that everyone's been forced to sign on to, if a two-thirds majority of Euro Parliament wants to hold the vote for the Starfleet Command in secret, they can decide to do so.
	And they have decided just that.
	That's astonishing to me!
	Your next Euro president will be chosen by secret ballot.
	You will not know what your so-called chosen representatives have voted.
	You're not allowed to know.
	It's a secret ballot.
	And just to make sure that you know exactly what's going on and that no one has any mis- or disinformation out there, we have the official troll patrol.
	Well, I mean, it's serious.
	I mean, the Bureau of the Parliament, which is the organisation of the European Parliament, which decides how resources are spent, you know, they decided that they're going to train in-house staff in the run-up to the European elections of 2014 to train those people to go online, to look at Facebook, Twitter, other social media sites, and to correct, that's their word, not mine, to correct any misapprehensions that may exist about the European Union.
	Mr.
	Curry, we need to correct you on something you said about the European Union.
	This is what the Soybean Council does.
	The European Soybean Council.
	No, the Soybean Council.
	If you write some nasty thing about soybean oil, which people do, like it's an estrogen analog, and all of a sudden you have breasts.
	And your brain will shrink.
	You get boobs and your brain shrinks, yes.
	Yeah, those two things.
	And they come knocking.
	Same thing exactly.
	And do they pay you when you change stuff?
	And can we make any money this way?
	No, they usually talk to the publication and then they tell them, we'd like to run a rebuttal, and then they maybe pay them.
	Have you ever dealt with the Soy Foundation?
	No, but Mimi actually tracked down, this is a couple years ago, she tracked down all the representations on the internet of why soy oil is so great, and found essentially word-for-word paragraphs in all these original quote-unquote articles showing this is all planted bullcrap.
	Yeah.
	This is a very common thing.
	This is what good publicity is supposed to do.
	So there's a Red Book thing, which I think we already crossed off, but people need to be reminded.
	You've reminded people several times of some things that we've discussed in the past and clips that we've played.
	Headline, IBM's Watson providing superior cancer treatment plans and will accelerate the adoption of new cancer research.
	This is, as we predicted, and it's in the Red Book.
	We actually predicted this when they were on the show on the Jeopardy program.
	We predicted it at that point, that this was a scam.
	Yeah, and I should have pulled the clip, but literally said that IBM's Watson would be recommending your treatment for healthcare.
	And so here's the article.
	Tweet the IBM Watson system.
	The IBM Watson system gained fame by beating human contestants on the television quiz show Jeopardy!
	almost two years ago.
	Since that time, Watson has evolved from a first-of-a-kind status to a commercial cognitive computing system.
	And by the way, as we pointed out, when they beat the humans, the humans, the humans, It's only because they had a quicker trigger.
	It wasn't that they knew anymore.
	They could push the button faster because they essentially could read the question before a human could read it because it was all machine.
	They'd get the machine version, so it was just a bunch of data, a bunch of ASCII text, and they could get through it instantly and then hit the button if they knew the answer.
	And so it's a scam.
	It's a bullcrap.
	It was a bullcrap thing.
	The whole thing was ridiculous.
	So there's a new disorder, which is, I think, being considered for DSM-5, which I found to be interesting.
	And there may be something to it, and I don't know if they can drug this out of you, although I'm sure they can.
	It is sensory processing disorder.
	Have you heard of this, John?
	Sounds like dyslexia.
	Sensory processing disorder, or SPD, is a neurological disorder causing difficulties with taking in, processing, and responding to sensory information about the environment and from within one's own body.
	For those identified as having SPD, sensory information may be sensed and perceived in a way that is different from most other people.
	What this is, is you know how kids would be like, these socks are itchy?
	That's SPD. Yeah, my daughter can't wear a wool sweater because she says it's itchy.
	Well, totally.
	SPD. Drug that kid.
	We've been trying, but she keeps running away.
	What, you took her off the leash?
	Are you nuts?
	Oh, by the way, we're talking about that.
	People, if you have kids, can I just make one suggestion?
	And I've had a kid, and my kid is now big.
	It is not cute when you teach your kid to high-five people.
	Okay?
	It's embarrassing.
	Oh, God.
	Give him a high five, honey.
	No, that's not cute at all.
	It is so lame.
	He must have seen that a lot in LA. I saw it on the plane.
	Oh, look my little two-year-old.
	High five, high five.
	High five, high five.
	And the kid's like, doesn't do anything.
	And then the parent keeps going, come on, do it.
	You can do it.
	Give a high five.
	It is like, that is the worst thing you could.
	Stop it.
	Just stop it.
	That is not okay.
	It's not the same as putting your kid on a leash, but still it's really, really, really not okay.
	So you're kind of glossed over the European news.
	You kind of missed the horse meat scandal.
	No, the horse meat is a huge distraction.
	I know, but there was one piece of kind of interesting information in this particular report that I had to mention because it kind of chides the Brits about the contents of their hamburgers.
	...writing in The Guardian this week said, you may be reassured to know that EU regulations insist that if it's called meat, it has to be, quote, skeletal muscle with naturally included or adherent fat and connective tissue...
	And that our own Food Standards Agency insists that economy beef burgers must contain a heartening 47% of the same stuff sourced from cows.
	As ever, modern capitalism spoils us, eh?
	So if I read this correctly, Dean Best, if 47% of those economy beef burgers have to be beef, then they're not even breaking the law if they put horse meat in there.
	Or cat meat, or rats.
	We got an email from producer Andrew in the UK, and he says, listen, this is the hugest distraction, this horse meat scandal.
	This has been going on for a week now, but has gained ridiculous coverage in the past few days.
	He says this is a cover-up.
	He says, I propose this is a huge scale distraction created by the government.
	At this time they're trying to pass the Justice and Security Bill, which has had its second reading in the Commons this week.
	This bill is a bill that would allow the UK government to make anything secret in the interest of national security.
	A phrase that is well overused in the USA, but not so much here.
	Well, you're learning quickly.
	The media have not reported on this one bit, and I did see a commentator on the BBC try to bring it up, but he was taken off camera quickly and told they were out of time.
	Back to the horse meat scandal.
	So, wow, they can make anything they want secret.
	Like, that you're eating horse meat.
	And then the other...
	This is nuts.
	Yeah, no, go ahead, go ahead.
	The other kind of interesting story, which is slowly developing in Italy...
	It's this comic who's like trying to take...
	Yeah!
	They're running a comedian, literally.
	He runs a party and he's trying to get like 100 people into the...
	I've talked with Willow a lot about this guy.
	He's kind of like Andrew Dice Clay.
	He's been around for a long time.
	At this point, the Italians are so desperate that they'll take him.
	They'll take him.
	They'll take him because he seems to be the one that's advocating renegotiating the debt because the Italians, of all the people, where the Medicis came from, where the original bankers were born before anyplace else, they know that they're going to get totally hosed by the EU if they can't get out of the scam that was pulled on them.
	Bloomberg Television, it is quarter past six o'clock here in London.
	Now, Italy's election season is in full swing.
	One unusual candidate is gaining ground.
	Comedian Beppe Grillo is head of the country's five-star movement.
	He's disrupting the political scene.
	His message is that Italy's debt must be renegotiated if the country is to escape a decade of stagnation.
	Our European editor David Tweed is with us.
	He's ruffling a few feathers, isn't he?
	He has been.
	He's been ruffling feathers.
	Feathers for quite some time.
	But the interesting thing is what he's actually aiming to do in this election.
	You can see him here.
	He's been campaigning.
	He's been crossing all over Italy.
	He's got this little camper van that he's going around in.
	What he wants to do is he wants to be a spoiler in this election.
	And so he's aiming to get 100 seats out of 945 seats in the upper house and the lower And he eventually wants to bring down whatever government is formed.
	He's given himself six to eight months.
	But as he said, he's also positioning himself as an absolute populist.
	And he's really going after the whole issue a lot of Italians are very worried about.
	And that is the debt.
	All right.
	Prediction.
	Write it down.
	Unfortunate accident.
	For real.
	That's not much of a prediction on this show.
	Well, no, but this unfortunate accident, I'm going to say road accident.
	Yeah, he's driving around in a camper.
	Car overturns.
	It says Hot Puckets tour on the site, weirdly enough.
	Oh, really?
	Is that what it says?
	Hmm.
	Yeah, if only I could find it quickly enough.
	Oh, there you go.
	Hot Puckets.
	All right, while we're there, we might as well roll it out.
	I can intrigue.
	Is there more to Pope Benedict's sudden decision to step down?
	Although there's no evidence to suggest a motive other than old age, the Pope's unusual departure has left some wondering.
	Could be deeper.
	More than what we've been told at the moment.
	Italians say his age and the weight of scandals, especially revelations of sexual abuse by priests, may have gotten to the scholarly pontiff.
	Nah, I'm not thinking that.
	This, of course, is something that everybody would like to talk about, is what is going on with the Pope, so...
	Now entering second half of show.
	I have a number of possibilities.
	I'll bet you do.
	I have a couple of favorites, actually.
	So I'm just going to lay them out.
	I have not decided which track I'm going to go with yet.
	First of all, we have the Prophecy of Popes.
	This is something that you can look up for yourself.
	The Prophecy of Popes is a list of 112 short phrases in Latin to describe each of the Roman Catholic Popes.
	And we are now up to, if this next pope, there will be another pope, names himself Peter the Roman, which is according to the prophecies, that will be the end of Rome.
	That he will be the last pope ever, and the Antichrist will show, and it's all over.
	This is the prophecy.
	This has been around since 1590.
	Although some say the original prophecy of the Popes goes back to 1139.
	So that is one.
	That is one.
	Now, I thought this was actually quite good.
	Because, of course, this guy, who, by the way, he's Austrian.
	All right?
	Ratsheeder.
	Sometimes he's German, straight up.
	I thought he was Austrian.
	Whatever.
	It's okay.
	Yeah!
	There is a theory out there that he quit and said, look, I can't deal with it because he refuses to be the person to tell the world about the aliens.
	Now, we know that...
	Oh, no!
	Yes, we know that...
	Yeah, well, we know that the Russians, you know...
	Look, how many times have we had this pop up?
	Where Medvedev has said, look, it's just a matter of time.
	Putin has said to Obama, look, if you don't tell people, I'm going to tell people.
	And the Pope wants no part of it.
	He said, I can't deal with this.
	I cannot be a part of this whole exposure of the aliens, which is coming.
	Okay.
	And then, I think, this is probably the one, is we have to follow the money.
	There's a couple of things that happen that are not...
	I'm amazed the media doesn't even bring this up.
	Remember the butler who exposed the memos?
	Oh yeah, they fired the guy from the Vatican Bank.
	It's called the IOR, the Institute of Religious Works.
	There is so much corruption with this money that the European Parliament actually seized like 300 million euros of assets from the bank.
	This Pope had to get out because he was mismanaging everything.
	And they've had to bring in new accountants.
	Because the whole thing is banking.
	You may love the Pope.
	You may be religious.
	But this is all about the Vatican Bank.
	And I think he just screwed up.
	This is actually the first banker to go to jail.
	And that's their version of it.
	You get kicked out.
	Well, you know, any one of these could be possible.
	I really hope it's the aliens.
	Yeah, that would be you.
	I really hope it's the end.
	That would be so nice.
	That would be better.
	It would be more entertaining.
	And we didn't even talk about this.
	Happy Year of the Snake, John.
	Yeah, Happy Year of the Snake to you.
	Happy Year to all these snakes out there who are working in the Hollywood region.
	It's a concern that some of the most notorious events in recent history have happened during the Year of the Snake.
	The terrorist attacks of 9-11, the Chinese government crackdown at Tiananmen Square, the start of the Great Depression, all happened during the years of the snake.
	The year of the snake is not that great.
	This feng shui master, whose advice was sought by the builders of Richmond's Olympic Oval, suggests there's something to the cultural superstition.
	Yeah, there you go, year of the snake.
	It sucks.
	Everything's a cycle.
	That's what I've been saying all along.
	It's the year of the snake, so it fits perfectly with your cycle.
	Now it fits right in with these United States and EU free trade talks.
	Why do we even need a free trade agreement with Europe?
	Is this just New World Order stuff, or what is it?
	I have no idea what the deal is.
	It doesn't make sense to me either.
	Aren't we all a member of the World Trade Organization?
	That's the point of it.
	It's just a drinking, you know, they've got to go out and have more drinks.
	I have no idea.
	To the Congress of the United States message, Section 202D of the National Emergencies Act provides for the automatic termination of a national emergency unless, within 90 days prior to the anniversary date of his declaration, the President publishes in the Federal Register and transmits to Congress a notice stating that the emergency is to continue in effect beyond the anniversary date in accordance with his provision.
	Please publish in the Federal Register the enclosed notice.
	What country are we talking about, John?
	National emergency, frightening because it's dangerous to our national security here in the United States.
	We're not talking about ourselves?
	No.
	No.
	I don't think we've had an executive order.
	Well, then who is it?
	Libya.
	Libya?
	Yes, it's very dangerous.
	Colonel Muammar Gaddafi, his government and close associates took extreme majors against the people of Libya.
	We're in the process of winding down the sanctions.
	But still, in the meantime, it is the United States we need to protect against the threat and the diversion of assets or other abuse by certain members of Qaddafi's family and other former regime officials.
	Therefore, I've determined it is necessary to continue the national emergency with respect to Libya.
	What a bunch of hogwash.
	Hogwash.
	That should be a requested clip.
	You saying hogwash.
	Hogwash.
	So when I was in Los Angeles, I did have contact with my handler.
	Agent Afe.
	My handler.
	My Jewish anti-jihadist handler.
	Remember her?
	Oh, yeah.
	And she sets you straight every so often.
	Yes, and she set me straight again.
	And she told me something.
	I'm like, this sounds like a Fox News thing.
	This is bullshit.
	And she says, look, you know, you can believe whatever you want.
	And we actually got into a whole thing about the cultural jihad.
	And with that, she has all these books.
	You know the book Milestones?
	This is the book, or basically a watered-down translation of what you're supposed to do as a jihadist.
	And whenever some guy blows himself up, there's always a copy of Milestones.
	So she's got a copy of this.
	And then she shows me that she's got these huge books of Sharia law translation with the original text next to it.
	It's amazing.
	Pretty crazy stuff when you're reading it.
	And, you know, I was talking about the Muslim area.
	Remember?
	In London and I think it was Norway and a couple other European countries.
	We had that clip the other day.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Where it'd be like, it's Muslim area.
	Go away, you fag.
	You fag.
	You're gay.
	You fag.
	Get out of here.
	Like, ah, Muslim area, you can't wear that dress.
	Go away, whore.
	And Muslim area, you can't be drinking here.
	And she opens the milestone.
	She says, here it is.
	Muslim areas.
	This is it.
	Muslim patrol, Muslim areas.
	I'm like, oh, that's kind of interesting.
	And she's like, Adam, you have to understand that there are people now within the FBI, the CIA, within all these three-letter agencies who are very confused that the Muslim Brotherhood It's bringing in all these consultants and the people, the very people they were told to keep out of the agency are being led in the front door and that all of this, you know, this is where the...
	I'm repeating some of what I've said before.
	And all of this, you know, you can't be an Islamophobe, etc., Islamophobia, that this is the cultural jihad that they've been working on for 60, 70 years and slowly...
	All these consultants, all these advisors are all over our government and administration and Department of Homeland Security, and they are literally changing the way we speak about Islam.
	She keeps hammering the Muslim Brotherhood is extremely hell-bent on eventually introducing Sharia and Sharia.
	This is what they do.
	This is the long-term approach.
	And that our politicians, and I'll just look at Hillary Clinton, they're taking advantage of what they think is a great deal.
	It's like, hey, if we just work with these people, they want to come in, they want to be an advisor or whatever.
	Then we get all the mineral rights, and we get all the drilling rights, and the pipeline rights, and we make all these deals with them.
	And they're all focused on the short term making a couple billion dollars with some pipeline stuff.
	Meanwhile, specifically the Muslim Brotherhood is slowly taking over.
	And you see this happening in Egypt.
	Muslim Brotherhood comes in and then Bill Gates is investing in there.
	Everyone's a huge bonanza.
	We've got McCain leading entire delegations over there.
	This is huge.
	But once again, there's the Muslim Brotherhood.
	And whenever we have senators or congressmen sending a note saying, hey, we've got a couple of questions about some of these advisors you've got at the Homeland Security, then it's like, oh, you're a bunch of kooks.
	You're a bunch of nutball.
	You can't ask these questions.
	You're nuts.
	And then she says to me, John Brennan.
	I said, what about John Brennan?
	She said, he converted to Islam, and no one is talking about this.
	I'm like, really?
	So I'm looking around.
	I'm like, okay.
	And I see that this is kind of a meme that's been around very recently.
	This has started.
	And she said, look, you can believe me all you want, but I have this from people that I really trust.
	And then I find this video of Brennan Apparently, he's been in the Arab world since 75.
	He went to school there and everything, and she said it was not long ago that he converted to Islam.
	And then I hear this clip, which was kind of funny.
	But for more than three decades, I have also had the tremendous fortune to travel the world.
	And by the way, John Brennan is about to be confirmed as the director of the CIA of the United States, the drone guy.
	And as part of that experience, to learn about the goodness and beauty of Islam.
	As a college student in the 1970s, I spent a summer traveling through Indonesia, taking in the wonderful landscape, culture, and people of Java and Bali.
	Despite my long hair, my earring, and my obvious American appearance, I was welcomed throughout that country in a way that is a reflection of the tremendous warmth of Islamic cultures and societies.
	Like the President during his childhood years in Jakarta, I came to see Islam, not how it is often misrepresented, But for what it is.
	How it is practiced every day by well over a billion Muslims worldwide.
	A faith of peace and tolerance and great diversity.
	And if you permit me, or I should say, ismahli, bad Indonesia, safarat ila misr.
	Wa hunak, daraast arabiya fi jamna amlikiya fi kahirah.
	Now wait for the punchline.
	I was a Talib and a Shabab when I studied Arabic, but now I've forgotten the title of the language.
	Lissan Kislan.
	Mut'asif, mut'asif. Lakin mumkin, inshaAllah.
	Here it comes.
	Sofa adros arabiya maritani, inshaAllah.
	Now, don't tell the folks who don't speak Arabic what I said, okay?
	Yeah, exactly.
	We have to get somebody to translate that.
	I'm sure someone will do that for us.
	Yes, I'm sure it will be for the next show.
	So I want to say that on this program, the best podcast in the universe, there's only place pretty much you can have the conversation about Islam and really the difference between Islam and Sharia.
	So Islam, I don't know if I have a problem with that.
	I mean, I have just as much problem with any religion or lack of problem with religion.
	But I have been reading this Sharia law stuff and that shit's not okay.
	Okay, that's just not okay.
	It's just crap.
	I mean, I should read a piece of Sharia every day on the show.
	You know, it's like, if you get your clothes dirty and you can't find the spot, you should then wash your entire clothing.
	It's like, okay, I mean, great, but do we have to be micromanaged at this level?
	Is that what this is all about?
	Yeah, that's what it's all about.
	And this is the cultural jihad is what they talk about.
	And it is very possible that it is true and that it's coming.
	And I think that we need to at least have the conversation, which no one else, I guess, can have because, you know, the sponsors are involved.
	Sponsors, yeah, the sponsors will pull out and, you know, you're labeled something and your career is over.
	Guess what?
	We got no sponsors and my career's been over for years.
	Yeah.
	Fact.
	So I have one clip just to kind of augment what you just said about sponsors.
	I ran into, apparently, the show The Insider has fallen apart.
	They've redesigned it using OMG off of Yahoo is their name.
	OMG Insider.
	And on this one episode, they showed the future of advertising.
	And they not only showed how it works...
	The future of advertising.
	You know, it's the same thing.
	Everyone sells out.
	But they shoved it in your face by actually running an ad.
	In other words, they embedded an ad into the show.
	Hold on.
	Once again.
	I'm confused.
	This is an entertainment product, this OMG thing?
	Yeah.
	It's an entertainment show.
	It used to be The Insider.
	Okay, I got it.
	Now I'm straight.
	And it's on Yahoo.
	It's also on television?
	Yeah.
	Yahoo keeps the website going and the television show is...
	They've done a joint venture of some sort.
	I don't know if Yahoo's making money on this idea because they're generally cheap when it comes to television, so they probably aren't.
	This is actually what most people consider news is what you're saying.
	A lot of people do.
	I do.
	I mean, obviously none of our listeners do.
	But you can consider that they are experimental enough, especially with Yahoo, to embed an ad as bullshit and then run the product ad itself afterwards.
	It's ridiculously shameless.
	That blew me away on the red carpet.
	I literally chased after her.
	Florence Walsh from Florence and the Machine.
	We talked about her beauty and she revealed her must-have for her makeup bag.
	What's the last thing that you touch on your face before you leave for the red carpet?
	My penis!
	Lipstick.
	Lipstick.
	Yeah, lipstick.
	My beauty obsession is whatever makes mama's face look flawless on the red carpet.
	So I understand that there's a new trend in beauty cream, the CC cream.
	What is that?
	It's an anti-aging and beauty balm in one, but it also has instant coverage.
	It's called Olay Total Effects Tone Correcting CC Cream.
	It's the first of its kind in the U.S. And the good news is, everyone, you don't have to pay a fortune for it.
	I like that.
	You can get it at Target.
	It is going to be the next huge thing.
	What is the anti-aging power of Olay Total Effects plus the perfecting color of a BB cream equal?
	Introducing the newest beauty trend, Total Effects CC Cream.
	C for color, C for correction.
	Five, seven signs of aging flawlessly.
	CC what's possible.
	Yeah, awesome.
	Do you think that they would be a sponsor on our show after I talked about them that way?
	We still want to hang in.
	Probably.
	I'm sure that's the deal now.
	First you've got to tell us how great we are, and then we'll run an ad.
	This is unbelievable.
	We're going to be seeing this on anything on television.
	This is beyond selling out.
	They have people who watch the show.
	Do they trust these phonies?
	I guess.
	Stupid slaves.
	Everyone's asleep, man.
	It doesn't matter.
	The only people who are going to survive this whole thing, this whole cycle, is the people who listen to the show.
	And the people they love, they'll probably drag them along.
	Although I would think some of them would be like, I never liked you anyway as a brother.
	Screw you.
	There's a few problems.
	I've heard those guys' shows.
	They're nuts.
	You should send a note to Representative Peter DeFazio of Oregon.
	Democrat.
	Has introduced a bill into the House.
	H.R. 630, to recalculate and restore retirement annuity obligations of the United States Postal Service, eliminate the requirement for the pre-funding of decades of retirement funds.
	This is House Resolution 630, introduced.
	Someone who actually understands what's going on.
	Hmm.
	What you've been harping about for months.
	I harp.
	Interesting.
	Okay.
	It's pretty good, right?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I get all these new bills and I read every single one of them, except these are so new that they only give you the synopsis.
	And there's like, this bill has no summaries available.
	Text not yet available.
	Like, they enter it in, but you can't get it out for some reason.
	This kind of sucks.
	Yeah.
	Uh, right.
	Unless you've got something.
	think, oh yeah, of course we have this.
	Defense officials say the Pentagon is creating a new medal that can be awarded to troops who have a direct impact on combat operations but do it from afar.
	It'll be called the Distinguished Warfare Medal.
	The medal is a recognition of the evolving 21st century warfare where troops fight wars from computers and video screens.
	The medal could go to service members who've never set foot in a combat zone but launch drone strikes or cyber attacks that kill or disable an enemy.
	Awesome.
	Gamers now can get a military award.
	This is fantastic.
	That's about it.
	It's fantastic.
	And here it is, literally.
	Extraordinary achievement not involving acts of valor directly impacting combat operations.
	I would be ashamed to wear that.
	I would too.
	They should just have a dead child's foot on a ribbon.
	That's better.
	That's the medal you should be wearing if you're a droner.
	Its ranking will be slightly above the bronze star.
	What?
	Yeah.
	They're going to give that and it's going to be above the bronze star, which is a medal of valor?
	Yes, but below the Distinguished Flying Cross...
	And just a little bit more than the Iron Cross, I think, is actually where we're going with this.
	Unbelievable.
	I'm so brave.
	Extraordinary achievement, not involving acts of valor.
	It's almost like a disclaimer on a...
	It should actually have that written on it.
	Awarded for extraordinary.
	You know, this new guy, this guy that was watching the president's speech and they showed the Joint Chiefs of Staff and they're standing there.
	This one weird, bald guy who is the...
	Again, I'm going to bitch...
	People are criticizing these guys.
	This is a guy who is the army guy.
	He's Raymond Odienmo or whatever his name is.
	He's a rebirthed Petraeus.
	He's got a million medals and he's got a bunch of badges, like Boy Scout badges.
	And the thing that always...
	It irks me.
	Besides being bald and weird looking, it irks, but we can't be critical of that.
	No.
	But it always irks me when one of these guys has this stupid Bakelite name tag...
	He knows who the hell he is, which you have to be an idiot to walk around with this.
	You know, why doesn't he just have, hello, my name is Ray.
	Yeah, the one with the white letters, the black bakelite tag with the white letters.
	Yeah, that's done on a little machine.
	Hey, you know, that should be our new Noah Jen the Night pin, just one of those stupid things.
	Except the outrageous moron.
	Why does a guy who's the head of the Army, the Joint Chiefs of Staff, get his name tag on like some little kid?
	Am I wrong in this thing?
	No, no.
	It should actually say, my name is...
	Hi.
	Hi.
	My name is General So-and-so.
	No, of course not.
	But wait a minute.
	It's the whole thing.
	It's all theater.
	Ever since Sandy Hook, many times I have thought to myself, our show is basically over.
	It's over because the cat's out of the bag.
	It's all fake.
	Nothing is real.
	We're just roaming around in a big television show.
	It's all...
	I mean, you know...
	We've been talking for three hours.
	This freaking cruise ship is still on CNN. Hold on.
	I've got to plug this thing in.
	You won't believe it.
	I'm not kidding.
	Hold on.
	I've got to plug this thing in.
	...to tie up power.
	This is all going to take place in the dark.
	They've brought in a lot of emergency lighting, you could say...
	You are a douchebag!
	...sure that the docking takes place smoothly.
	The docking, this is...
	I mean, we have cyber security bills.
	We've got drone medals.
	And all you can talk about is poop in a red bag?
	Really?
	Go ahead, people.
	Spend your money wherever you want to.
	Do whatever you want.
	Please, your choice if you want to give it to the best podcast in the universe where we actually inform you.
	Your choice.
	If not, get your red bag to poop in.
	It's what you deserve.
	You've got to be tougher with the audience, I think.
	Yeah.
	A little tougher.
	Alright, what have we done?
	The show is too long.
	We're not getting value for value.
	I'm telling you that.
	Well, you were the one going off on name tags for half an hour.
	Well, it irks me.
	Yeah, I know.
	And I agree.
	But it was a pleasure talking to you, John.
	As you know, I took trains, planes, and automobiles just to get here to talk with you at all today.
	I could have said screw it.
	Better late than never.
	I could have said screw it.
	Would you see you on Sunday?
	No.
	Yeah, you could have, but that's not your style and it's not my style.
	The audience expects us to produce something for them.
	We work for them.
	Yes.
	They don't work for us.
	They're not the product.
	No, you are not the product.
	We're not selling you.
	We're selling you the best podcast in the universe.
	Take it like a man!
	And we'll be back on Sunday to bring you more deconstruction.
	Do remember us at Dvorak.org slash NA. It's your choice.
	Use it wisely.
	Coming to you from the capital of the drone star state, in the morning everybody, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where I remain, John C. Dvorak.
	We'll talk to you again on Sunday right here on No Agenda.
	The best podcast in the universe.
	Because two and a half hours is too long for anything.
	Just who the hell do you think you people are?
	You have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk.
	I want you all fired!
	Who are you?

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