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Feb. 7, 2013 - No Agenda

03:14:48

485: Goys with Guns

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Time	Text
	There's doping going on in the sport of curling.
	What?
	Yeah!
	You know that thing where they toss like...
	I need to be all pumped up on roids to push a rock down a thing.
	Adam Curry, John C. Devorak.
	It's Thursday, February 7th, 2013.
	Time for your Gitmo Nation Media Assassination Episode 485.
	This is No Agenda.
	Massaging my evil patch here in the capital of the Drone Star State, Austin Tejas.
	In morning, everybody.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where we're halfway to Valentine's Day, another fake holiday, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	It's crackpot and buzzkill.
	In the morning.
	Really?
	After we had that whole conversation on the last show where the guy was brilliant.
	What did he say?
	Don't you remember?
	He got married on Valentine's Day.
	Yeah, that was a good idea.
	He was brilliant.
	Smart.
	Very, very smart.
	Yeah, what he did was he personally took out one of the holidays.
	He took it right out.
	If you really want to have some fun, you know, get married on Christmas and try to time the birth on Christmas.
	I've known a couple of people that were born on Christmas and they constantly grouse about feeling they were robbed.
	Well, my sister is born on January 1st.
	Oh, that's bad.
	Yeah, she feels the same way.
	It's like, you know, everyone calls drunk after like, you know, like two in the morning.
	I forgot your birthday.
	That would have been perfect for me.
	I so don't care about my birthday.
	And, you know, Miss Mickey's already threatening about my 50th.
	I'm like, ugh, please.
	But she's threatening.
	She's going to kill you?
	Yeah, it's time.
	It's time to go loser.
	Surprise party or whatever.
	Surprise party.
	Surprise party.
	And she's like, and I'll call Michelle.
	I'm like, no, because there'll be hookers and jail.
	And she's like, yeah, yeah, that's what you're supposed to do.
	I'm like, no, I really don't feel like it.
	I don't.
	It's not what you're supposed to do.
	What are you supposed to do when you turn 50?
	Do you remember?
	You have an event, you know, probably a big dinner party or something like that.
	A dinner party.
	It's not a bachelor's party.
	Well, apparently Miss Mickey thinks it is.
	It's like it's hookers and jail time.
	I'm like, okay, a nice dinner.
	I agree.
	A nice dinner is good.
	Do people bring you presents, like gold bars and stuff?
	Yeah, you should have a huge dinner party with as many people as you can.
	Maybe make it a buffet, and then you get all these gifts.
	A buffet to go with my bouffant.
	I love it.
	Ah, well, no, she's not going to kill me.
	She just did, oh my God, this is real love.
	She just did her Gitmo Nation test for her green card, her medical test.
	Yeah?
	Yeah, this is an annoyance, John.
	You have to prove you've had all your shots.
	And of course, you know, she had proof from her doctor in the lowlands.
	But then, like, well...
	Should be good enough.
	Yeah, but you have...
	Where's your booster?
	Where's proof that you had your booster?
	Your booster?
	If these vaccines work at all, they don't need boosters.
	Booster shots and mandatory flu shot.
	But only during flu season.
	So if she waits until March 31st, then she doesn't have to take the flu shot.
	Ah, that's what she should do.
	Yeah, but I mean, isn't that just nuts?
	Yeah.
	Especially since some people apparently get the flu from that shot.
	Well, of course.
	I mean, that's the first thing that'll happen.
	I'm just like, oh my God.
	Now, that's real love, man.
	You do all that crap.
	And I didn't tell her what happened the last time I went through this.
	Which, granted, was 25 years ago.
	What happened?
	With my ex-wife.
	What about her?
	Well, she had to do the same thing, only it was in Newark, New Jersey.
	You said you need to pay them off.
	Yeah, but this is not your own doctor.
	This is not a sanctioned office.
	It is a sanctioned office.
	It's just some backwoods operation.
	It's like $400.
	Hello?
	You should just get ripped off left and right.
	Oh, no.
	And there's another check that I have to write for another $1,050 for the expedited process.
	Again.
	Don't even get me started.
	But, no, they stuck her wrong with the blood and she passed out.
	Ow!
	Yeah.
	That happens all the time.
	You get a blood test and these guys, I mean, what does it take?
	They're poking and poking, you come back, you're all dripping, you're all black and blue.
	Yeah, black and blue.
	Yeah.
	What actually happens when they do something and you pass out from it?
	What have they done?
	Dave, they haven't done anything.
	It's you.
	You made yourself pass out.
	Okay.
	I make myself pass out just thinking about it.
	Yeah, well, there you go.
	It's kind of gruesome.
	I don't want to think about going there.
	Well, anyway, I would like to say hi, everybody, to all of you within the sound of my voice.
	If you've been listening to this program, to the No Agenda show, known as the best podcast in the universe, then all this drone news should come as no surprise to you.
	As we have been on this tip for years.
	We've been riding the drone.
	We've been riding the drone for years.
	In fact, it was a year ago, almost to the day, That we broke down the entire speech by Shittison Holder, where he explained this exact legal precedent.
	And now everyone's all up in arms.
	Where was the press?
	Where was the media when Holder was on stage saying exactly this?
	I mean, exactly what is in this white paper.
	Don't you love that, John?
	The white paper.
	Yes, it's a white paper.
	It's a white paper.
	It's a white paper.
	With Obama as president, does that really apply?
	Well, you know, wow.
	A racist joke?
	Really, John?
	This early in the morning?
	Oh, that's quite amazing.
	It wasn't a racist joke.
	It was totally racist.
	It wasn't a racist joke.
	It was a joke that had race involved in the punchline.
	Oh, that was very funny.
	Here's the headline.
	I saw you didn't do any clips whatsoever, so I'm presuming that A, you're not all that interested.
	B, you figured I'd have whatever was necessary.
	The clips about the white paper.
	About the white paper.
	Is that a correct assumption?
	There was actually two things I figured you'd get to the bottom of.
	And so I just let them slide and that's one of them.
	I do.
	I'll hit you.
	I'll hurt you.
	I actually do have an analysis of the legal stance.
	Now, this we did not have a year ago.
	But, of course, I've been studying for my law degree.
	And, by the way, I should mention, as some of the commentators have mentioned, or at least they have in print.
	I haven't heard it on the TV. The white paper is just the white paper.
	It's not actually the document that everyone's trying to get hold of, which is the actual legal findings.
	No, these would be the memos.
	Well, actually, we can start with Holder being grilled.
	This was on C-SPAN. I don't think this really made it onto television.
	Here is the Attorney General being grilled, and I thought in this case the press was doing a pretty good job.
	Although this never makes it onto air, about these so-called memos.
	And of course, for those of you who haven't been following along, when George W. Bush, this is George W. Obama, when George W. Bush was president, there was this to-do about the torture memos and the legal precedent for that, which the George W. Obama administration released.
	Like, hey, we're so transparent, we're going to show you everything that Bush did.
	Right.
	When I released the memos, I mean, you were a driving force behind releasing the Bush administration's torture memos.
	Why aren't you a force for this?
	Well, I mean, we'll have to look at this and see what it is we want to do with these memos.
	But you have to understand that we are talking about things that go into really kind of how we conduct our offensive operations.
	Yeah, exactly.
	They are very offensive, these operations you have.
	The memo doesn't seem to be classified, though.
	It is marked confidential, but not classified.
	Why not release that to the general public?
	You said that you can only discuss that in a classified setting, but in this memo you're discussing the difference between those two.
	We're taking what sounds like an ongoing threat and saying that it's an imminent threat.
	Yeah, well, I mean, that's something we'd have to look into, you know, what's exactly in the white paper.
	We don't know what's in the white paper.
	Now he's pretending he doesn't know what's in the white paper.
	We'd have to look into that.
	Are you not aware of what's in the white paper?
	We'll have to look into that.
	Anyway, so Holder, of course, is holding the bag in this case.
	But what I like so much is how this was discovered.
	Of course, this is not a leak or anything.
	And NBC, for reasons unknown, NBC got the exclusive.
	What do you think this could be, John?
	Why was it not ABC? I was wondering, well, I think ABCs, they don't really have anything to trade.
	We'll give you Diane Sawyer and we'll throw in Barbara Walters if you just give us the white paper.
	I don't know.
	I think it may have some connection to Immelt.
	Yeah, I think they're all traded out.
	I think you're making a good point.
	They got the interviews with the president.
	They did everything leading up to the election, and now they shot their wad, I think.
	That's a good point.
	They just don't have any more good shows.
	Anyway, Brian Williams, I think, did a great lead-in to the story.
	So I'll just give you the lead-in to the story, which I thought just laid it right out there.
	Good evening.
	Some people regard death by drone as a necessary evil of all.
	Thank you for the headlines across the world, death by drone.
	Thank you, Brian Williams.
	Our post 9-11 world, the way we have to do business against an enemy we can't see, including sometimes Americans who have switched sides.
	Others see the use of drones by the United States as nothing more than execution by air, without due process, no court, no charges, no trial, and relatively little oversight.
	That would be...
	I think we kind of view it that way.
	How about you, John?
	Yeah, the kill list.
	What's beyond dispute is this.
	Obama's personal kill list.
	I'm going to kill this guy today.
	...become a huge weapon for this country, and this president has made unprecedented use of them.
	NBC News has obtained a government document that lays out the legal argument to justify the president's use of drones to kill al-Qaeda suspects, including, in some cases, U.S. citizens.
	Now, this is not entirely true.
	It doesn't really lay out the entire legal aspect, but I will get into a couple pieces of it, but not until after we have heard the biggest drone in the universe.
	That would be Jay Carney.
	He is the press secretary, but this guy is so boring.
	He just drones on and on and on.
	But what happened, the president went into the newsroom, and you have to see the sequence, the full events, was just mind-boggling to me.
	So the president goes into the press newsroom, Does this blah-de-blah about, let's pass some little budget now so we don't have to cut spending to my buddies there in the military-industrial complex, the sequestration.
	And even though there's this huge elephant in the room, I mean, just enormous, this kill list, death by drone.
	And then he's done with this little pitch for whatever about passing some insignificant budget to kick the can down the road.
	And then he leaves!
	Thanks very much, and I know that you're going to have a whole bunch of other questions, and that's why I hired this guy, Jay Carney.
	And the press thinks it's hilarious!
	Don't answer any questions yourself!
	Let's talk to the idiot!
	...to take those questions.
	Thank you, everybody.
	Thank you, everybody!
	And he just rocks out!
	And he just walks right out.
	Sounds a lot like Elvis as he left.
	Isn't it?
	Isn't it?
	Exactly.
	Hey, everybody.
	Jay Carter will close the show.
	So here is his written statement answering the question, which, of course, is question numero uno.
	Thanks for being here.
	I was hoping to skip the briefing today, but apparently I'm here to take your question.
	Oh, apparently.
	Julian.
	How can the government determine that an American citizen is an imminent threat to the U.S. or U.S. interests without having any kind of specific evidence that that person is planning an attack in the immediate future?
	Well, the question, obviously, that you ask relates to some stories out today regarding a document prepared, an unclassified document prepared for some members of Congress.
	And understandable questions.
	And I can just say that This president takes his responsibilities very seriously, and first and foremost, that's his responsibility to protect the United States and American citizens.
	Okay.
	All right.
	Let's stop it right there.
	This is my pet peeve.
	And to prove that this is a lie, that this is not the President's first and foremost responsibility, it is not, I am going to play the 30 seconds, the entire 30 seconds of what the President pledged with his oath to office this past January for his second term, so we can be very clear what he is swearing to do.
	Right.
	Press your right hand and repeat after me.
	I, Barack Hussein Obama, do solemnly swear.
	I, Barack Hussein Obama, do solemnly swear.
	That I will faithfully execute.
	That I will faithfully execute.
	The office of President of the United States.
	The office of President of the United States.
	And will, to the best of my ability.
	And will, to the best of my ability.
	Preserve, protect, and defend.
	What's he gonna say next?
	Will it be the United States of America?
	The people of America?
	What could it be?
	The Constitution of the United States.
	The Constitution of the United States.
	So help me God.
	And that's it!
	So let's make it clear, once and for all, he is pledging to uphold and protect the Constitution of the United States, not the citizens of the United States.
	Do you know, John, actually what the twelve powers are of the President?
	We've never discussed this, I don't think.
	There are only 12 things, constitutionally, that the President can do.
	Yeah, it's in the Constitution, I believe.
	Should we just run down them real quick?
	Yeah, go ahead.
	Okay, one, be Commander-in-Chief of the Army and Navy when called into service.
	Two, require the opinion of the principal officer in each executive department.
	So I guess you need to have meetings.
	Three, have power to grand reprieves and pardons.
	So you get people out of jail, is that what that is?
	Yeah, that's when Clinton let Mark Rich, the felon, go start the entire oil hedge business.
	Four, make treaties.
	Five, ooh, this is a big one.
	Nominate and appoint ambassadors, judges of the Supreme Court, and all other officers of the United States.
	Fill up vacancies during the recess of the Senate.
	Give to Congress information of the State of the Union.
	That's like a bigger meeting.
	Recommend to their consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient.
	That's just recommendation for their consideration.
	On extraordinary occasions, convene both houses or either of them.
	Receive ambassadors and other public ministers and basketball teams.
	Take care that the laws be faithfully executed. - Good, ah.
	And commission all the officers of the United States.
	So nowhere does it say drone Al-Qaeda, etc., etc.
	But they found a way around it.
	And this is why, and you're going to hear this in the next 50 seconds from Jay Carney.
	From now on, we have to go back...
	To calling this president George W. Obama.
	Because he is taking the war powers that he was passed on to him from the September 2001 attacks by Al-Qaeda.
	Because now it's a war, not a war against terror, war on Al-Qaeda.
	He is using those to drone anybody he feels like.
	He also takes his responsibility in conducting the war against Al-Qaeda.
	Oh, sorry.
	Did we have a declaration against al-Qaeda?
	No.
	No, and didn't we kill al-Qaeda according to all these testimonies?
	Oh, no.
	Oh, no.
	It's a dead operation.
	No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	No, Panetta will tell us about that in a moment.
	As authorized by Congress.
	Play attention to what he's saying.
	As authorized by Congress.
	So he's twisting the constitutional right of Congress being the only body to declare war and saying, well, Congress gave the okay, the go-ahead for the war against Al-Qaeda by assigning the president with the war powers after September 2001.
	It's fully consistent with...
	Our Constitution and all the applicable laws.
	We have acknowledged, the United States, that sometimes we use remotely piloted aircraft to conduct targeted strikes against specific al-Qaeda terrorists in order to prevent attacks on the United States and to save American lives.
	Remember, this is going to come down to imminence and to capture.
	These are the two big words that he's going to start to explain.
	We conduct those strikes because they are necessary to mitigate ongoing actual threats, to stop plots, prevent future attacks, and again, save American lives.
	Save American lives!
	These strikes are legal, they are ethical, and they are wise.
	They are wise.
	So how many American lives were saved when they killed three Americans?
	Well, it's saved or created, I think.
	That's a very good question.
	I like that.
	How many lives did you save when you killed three Americans?
	It's a wise decision.
	The U.S. government takes great care in deciding to pursue an Al-Qaeda terrorist to ensure precision and to avoid loss of innocent life.
	This guy cannot be happy with having to spew this garbage.
	Well, he doesn't give a credit.
	He believes it.
	No, I don't know.
	He doesn't sound normal.
	Well, he's got 14 more seconds on this one.
	To make clear that in taking such a strike, the government must take into account all relevant constitutional considerations, but that under generations-old legal principles and Supreme Court decisions, U.S. citizenship alone does not make a leader of an enemy force immune from being targeted.
	So, this was the interesting part, is they literally have gone into generations-old legal language, and this entire legality for droning American citizens It's explained through law speak.
	As you know, this is my favorite thing to do, is to understand the words that lawyers are using, that they are very big and expensive words they usually charge $400 an hour for.
	So the precedent for this has been taken from, and this was surprising to me, IHL, the International Humanitarian Law, Which right there says that international law supersedes our own constitution.
	The international humanitarian law, also known as the law of armed conflict, is comprised of the Geneva Conventions and the Hague Conventions and everything else that falls underneath them.
	So I guess, you know, since we adhere to the Geneva Convention, we generally adhere to the entire international humanitarian law, and along with that comes some international human rights law.
	So, according to the White Paper...
	A U.S. citizen who is located outside the United States and is an operational leader continually planning.
	So, continually planning.
	So, if you're just in your head, I'm planning a tax against U.S. persona or interests.
	Now, this is very important.
	No one is picking up on this shit.
	Interests, okay?
	That does not mean the homeland.
	That means pipelines.
	That means any other property of the United States.
	Cannot be lawfully killed unless, inter alia, we know this word now, in totality, an informed, high-level official of the U.S. government.
	Find me that.
	That's a contradiction in terms.
	But an informed, high-level official, which could be Janet Napolitano.
	She's a high-level official.
	It could be Valerie Jarrett.
	It could be Michelle Obama.
	It could be Michelle Obama.
	She's not an official.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, neither is Valerie Jarrett in that case.
	Well, she, I think, does have a title.
	Advisor.
	So an informed high-level official of the U.S. government has determined that the targeted individual poses an imminent threat of attack against the United States.
	So that's part one is the imminent threat.
	This is a red herring.
	Everyone's going after this.
	So the 16-year-old kid, maybe he was in the car driving over here to punch someone out?
	Well, it's funny you say that.
	Imminent threat?
	Let's take a short little detour here.
	You know the douchebag Touré?
	Yeah.
	You know, the music journalist who all of a sudden now has a show on MSNBC and he's Mr.
	Politics?
	Yeah.
	By the way, it's...
	Very annoying to watch this guy.
	Listen to him.
	He's so glib and smug.
	It's like...
	Jeez.
	So he gets schooled a little bit on the 16-year-old, but this guy is your typical Obama bot ready to kill anybody.
	But we're at war with Al-Qaeda right now.
	And if you join Al-Qaeda, you lose the right to be an American.
	You lose the right to due process.
	You declare yourself an enemy of this nation.
	And you're committing treason.
	And I don't see why we should expand American rights to people who want to kill Americans, who are working to kill Americans, who are committing treason.
	This is not criticizing the United States.
	This is going to war against the United States.
	What about the 16-year-old that was killed?
	What do you mean, what about the 16-year-old?
	He was also an American citizen.
	He was an American citizen born in Denver who was killed by one of these authorized drone attacks.
	I mean, we've said that and we've criticized that.
	He's not talking about civilian casualties.
	We're not talking about civilian casualties.
	No, no, this is the son of Al-Awlaki.
	See, he doesn't even know about the son of Al-Awlaki.
	Are you kidding me?
	He's that dumb?
	Oh, yeah.
	The decision was made that he should die.
	If we have people who are working against America, then they need to die because they are plotting to They need to die!
	What, are they going to shoot Putin?
	Yeah, of course!
	Americans.
	And if we don't protect Americans, then we're not doing...
	But based on what evidence is, right?
	This is the problem.
	Where's the evidence?
	And I think the thing here is, I mean, this is such a complicated issue.
	It's easy to have a black and white view of it.
	It is one that definitely falls in those areas.
	It's not!
	She's like, it's a gray area.
	It's, you know, it's like killing people.
	It's a gray area.
	And we will have no leg to stand on when this technology, and when, it's not if, when this technology is turned and used on us or our allies.
	We will have no leg to stand on, legal or otherwise, if we don't codify any of this.
	And that's not true at all.
	Al-Qaeda attacked this nation.
	We are attacking Al-Qaeda back.
	There's no evidence.
	Touré is a total idiot.
	He's a major douchebag.
	Why don't you give him the douchebag?
	I did, right there.
	So, everyone is talking about this imminent thing.
	They didn't even have to put that in there.
	I think they put the word imminent in there just to have the press run circles around it and distract everybody from what's really going on here.
	Well, there was two things I noticed, one besides that distraction.
	But early when they brought out, when Carney first came out and started his spiel, he specifically mentioned the document, but his actual phrase was, the document, an unclassified document.
	Yes, I have a clip on that, actually.
	And he made a big deal.
	I mean, he actually called out the fact that this was an unclassified document.
	Yes.
	So there had to be some reason for that, or he wouldn't have made a point of it.
	Well, because it was leaked.
	I mean, here's, I think this clip actually explains it.
	With national security.
	I'm sorry?
	It was the release of this memo a threat to national security.
	Which memo?
	The drone.
	Switching topics.
	I mean, sorry, the release of the DOJ white paper.
	Fine.
	I don't know what my...
	No.
	No, it's an unclassified document.
	Did you hear what he just said?
	It was unclassified.
	No, did you hear what he almost said?
	No.
	What did he almost say?
	What did I miss?
	It was provided.
	Oh, Jesus.
	Let me listen again.
	All right, document.
	Even though it was unclassified, the fact that it's out there...
	It wasn't designed for public release, but it's an unclassified document.
	No, no, you missed it.
	I'll go back.
	I'll go back.
	Hold on.
	Switching topics.
	I mean, sorry, the release of the DOJ white paper.
	I don't know what my...
	No.
	No.
	No, it was provided.
	It's an unclassified document.
	Oh, my God.
	Oh, my God.
	Well, they did provide it.
	I mean, it was provided to members of Congress.
	But, of course, the whole idea was to provide it out into the open.
	To NBC. Yeah.
	But it's not new.
	And as an end-of-show clip, I'm happy to play the five minutes of Holder almost reading this document.
	I mean, it's literally reading it.
	But I'd just like to explain the legal context.
	The reason why we can do this...
	It's because we are in a so-called NIAC. And this is the key phrase according to international humanitarian law, which stands for a non-international armed conflict.
	And when it comes down to that, the military may constitutionally use force against a U.S. citizen who is part of enemy forces.
	And this is...
	Hold on a second.
	I don't even think Al-Laki was part of any enemy force.
	He was just a stand-alone...
	Well, but this goes back to George W. Bush...
	When the government can determine who is belligerent.
	Remember that?
	Combatant, enemy combatant.
	If you're belligerent, then you're an enemy combatant.
	Well, let's start with the top.
	I mean, the 16-year-old kid is the more obvious example.
	But even looking at a Lockheed, was he ever shooting at anybody?
	No.
	All he was doing was bitching and moaning.
	You only have to be planning.
	He wasn't planning anything.
	He was bitching and moaning.
	That's all he did.
	What was he planning?
	He wasn't part of a group that was planning.
	He wasn't a strategist.
	He wasn't a violent person.
	All he was doing was complaining and he was calling us out as a bunch of douchebags and he thought everyone should rise up.
	But he wasn't doing anything about it.
	He was just talking.
	He was just essentially yakking.
	Well, you are going to be the one designated to read my eulogy.
	All Adam was doing was yakking.
	I was just yakking.
	I was just yakking, man.
	That's all I was doing.
	It is not necessary.
	I mean, this whole thing is bad.
	And this whole...
	It's terrible.
	And the fact that the media is generally...
	And the guys like Torre are defending the practice.
	I've talked to people, you know, just normal people that you see at lunch or you might run into somewhere...
	And they're all in on this.
	I mean, they're all in.
	Oh, listen.
	This is great.
	We're getting rid of these people.
	It makes it easy.
	Why should we?
	They've been watching too much television.
	Television is essentially about vigilantism.
	I mean, cop, you know, I know trials are going to cost too much or they shoot the guy.
	And everybody who watches goes, yay, that's great.
	All the money we're wasting on these trials with these douchebags.
	And many of them get off.
	We can't have that.
	Just shoot him.
	Yeah, in fact, CNN agrees.
	The White House is feeling fine about this.
	I mean, Brennan's fight will be about policy.
	It is their policy.
	It is not about Brennan's qualifications.
	And they believe that the public is with them on the use of drones.
	And if you look at polls, two-thirds of the American public hardly approve of the use of drones, even if the left wing of the Democratic Party doesn't.
	So, Wolf, I think the White House feels very secure about Brennan.
	The president's very close to Brennan.
	In fact, I think Americans think it's cool.
	I really believe most Americans see that as kind of like an extension of our Starfleet.
	It's the law of the West.
	It's cool.
	Yeah, it's cool.
	I'm going to hand it to, I don't know which journalist this was, but one journalist really did just get in Carney's face, and I liked what he said.
	Of course, he got told to shut up.
	The President obviously strongly opposed the enhanced interrogation techniques, so-called, of the Bush administration.
	He ended them.
	How is dropping How does dropping a bomb on an American citizen without any judicial review, any trial, not raise the very human rights questions or more human rights questions than something like Waterport?
	So then there's this whole legal argument about why it actually does conform to international human rights.
	And this is what I've been warning about for years on this show.
	Don't let some douchebags at the United Nations tell you what your human rights are because they put all this little stuff And this is exactly the legal path that they have taken.
	Is to obfuscate two things.
	One, this is about killing.
	It's now coming to drones, John.
	It's about drone this and drone that.
	And the whole debate is about drones.
	And we'll have hearings.
	And we've got Virginia already writing laws against drones.
	And every state's going to have their drone laws.
	But it doesn't really matter.
	You can go in with a sniper team and kill somebody.
	You can kill someone with a death ray from a satellite.
	We're being focused on the drones, and I think drones is actually a very inferior technology to kill people.
	How about the CSS? Those guys can go around and kill people.
	I go visit Amsterdam.
	Oh, well, you're no longer in America.
	You're yakking it up over there.
	So you can get killed anyway.
	Don't let the drone thing get too much in your face.
	But what is not being discussed in all of this is an equally damning document that is hidden and secret about President Obama's powers for a cyber war.
	And the New York Times did write an article about this, but no one is asking questions.
	And I'm going to tell you right now in the next three months, we will have a huge cyber attack.
	And the president has...
	Assigned to himself preemptive strike powers.
	He, let me see, can go into any country's networks.
	The Times article talks about the power of his weaponry, our weaponry, our cyber power, equal to nuclear weapons that we can do whatever we want, essentially.
	But the president, the president personally...
	We'll be the one responsible for calling the shots on any type of cyber warfare.
	No one's talking about that.
	So, you know, there's a lot you can do with your cyber powers over what you can do with a drone.
	And I think that this is just, I really believe it's a distraction.
	Could be.
	It's a funny one.
	No doubt about that.
	The other one, you know, it'll be, yeah, I think you might be right, there'll be some phony baloney cyber attack on us.
	It'll be Iran that does it, of course.
	What was the news?
	There was a news item this week that, oh yeah, no, the Bulgarian thing.
	You know, so Bulgaria just releases this huge report.
	I don't know how much it was covered in this country, but it was all over the international news.
	There was a bus bombing.
	An Israeli bus was bombed in Bulgaria in June or July.
	Half a year ago, yeah.
	And so they finally finished their investigation and determined...
	The Palestinians did it!
	Let me guess.
	No, Hezbollah.
	Well, yes, I'm sorry, Hezbollah.
	Exactly.
	But there was apparently an Australian and a Canadian passport involved.
	Hezbollah in the Bulgarian Peninsula.
	It's crazy.
	So it was like, okay, let's turn their attention back to Iran somehow.
	And then we also, now we have to deal with, well, maybe we should re-look over these dual nationals.
	Because the Canadian, which are the Canadian news, if you watch that, they're all preoccupied with the fact that this guy was Canadian.
	And they said, well, he doesn't really live in Canada.
	He lived in Lebanon.
	He was a dual national Lebanese-Canadian.
	Hmm.
	And it's just this whole thing looks like a great scripted plot that they're very slowly putting together.
	It's interesting you bring up the dual national thing, because I've been following, well, you know, I follow as much as I can, obviously.
	And it hurts to read some stuff, you know?
	And sometimes you're afraid about something you're going to read, but then it turns out to be okay.
	Like, you know, the Unabomber's Manifesto, you know, that was like, I was like, ah.
	But it turns out, you know, the guy wasn't all that crazy.
	I mean, it's crazy to kill people like that, but he had some valid points.
	So I've been reading and following a couple blogs, and they are specifically calling for legislation to prohibit dual nationals in the United States Congress, specifically Israeli U.S. nationals.
	And they're saying, and this is a very anti-Jew thing, they're saying, ah, well, if you look at all the people who are against the guns, it's all the Jews!
	And they're saying that these people have dual citizenship and that shouldn't be allowed.
	There's a lot of this going on.
	Like Jews are against the guns.
	Oh, wow.
	I mean, they're all Jewish.
	Come on.
	Hold on.
	Let's just Google this.
	Let's consult the Book of Knowledge and look at some anti-Jew stuff.
	Oh, no!
	I'll just do Jews against guns.
	Well, there definitely is really Jews aren't against guns.
	I'm just telling you what people are writing about.
	Okay, so who's the woman from California?
	Feinstein.
	Okay.
	Who's the senator from New York?
	Schumer.
	Schumer.
	All right.
	And I've got to find this website.
	It's like some Christian...
	It's an anti-Jew guy, I'm telling you.
	Jews against guns.
	It's going to go straight to the source.
	Jews against guns.
	Why are American Jews so anti-gun?
	Says Forward.com.
	They're overwhelmingly in favor of gun bans.
	Says who?
	Here's another one.
	JPFO.org.
	Jews for the preservation of firearms ownership.
	Bachman.
	Okay, there's another one.
	Bachman Turner Overdrive.
	I wish I could find this really quickly, but I can't.
	It's something I've been following.
	Rabbi Dovid Bendori is thinking we need more guns.
	Lieberman.
	All right, listen, listen, listen, Lieberman.
	Here's one.
	Bloomberg.
	Come on, come on.
	The Nazis took the guns away from the Jews.
	And there's like, you know, new strategy to abolish gun control.
	Watch the film.
	This is, you know, Michelle Obama, another Jew.
	Brother Nathaniel.
	Thank you very much, dude.
	That's what I was looking for.
	You've got to listen to this guy.
	This guy's funny.
	Nathaniel.
	That's the guy.
	He does the video podcast.
	Jews for the preservation of firearms ownership.
	America's most aggressive defender of firearms ownership.
	This is just a smear campaign against the Jews.
	Well, that's new.
	Yes, exactly.
	Like the Hezbollah thing isn't a smear campaign?
	That's why I'm bringing it up.
	I don't know how it took them six months to figure out that this Canadian and this Australian were somehow Hezbollah.
	Well, they had to get the memo.
	You've got to look at this brother Nathaniel.
	The guy's funny.
	Okay, where is this guy, brother Nathaniel?
	Just Google brother Nathaniel.
	By E.L.? Yeah.
	I wish I could just find one of you.
	The Brother Nathaniel Foundation?
	Yeah.
	Or this crazy looking guy with a big beard?
	Why don't Jews believe in Jesus?
	Isn't he the promised Messiah, as foretold by the prophets in the Old Testament?
	I love his outfit.
	He's got a badass outfit on.
	His uniform with a hat and...
	This guy is a joke.
	There's one picture of him that looks like a red star, or maybe that was photoshopped on.
	No, no, he's got the red cross on his hat.
	He's got a great hat.
	No, this guy, I mean, this pose here of Brother Nathaniel's Jewish humor.
	Yeah.
	No, this guy's a comedian.
	He's like Borat against the Jews.
	Videos.
	I want to find you the...
	Brother Nathaniel's Jewish humor.
	He's a total anti-Semite.
	Literally an anti-Semite.
	So he's just an anti-Semite doing comedy?
	No, he's talking about the guns thing.
	This is where I got in.
	Here, Jews lead gun control.
	Here we go.
	Listen to this.
	Here is...
	People believe this!
	The Times of Israel recently published an article titled, Jewish Politicians Lead Chorus Calling for Tighter Gun Laws.
	The article caught my eye for having grown up in Judaism.
	We Jews always felt entirely estranged from the gun culture of the Gentiles.
	In other words, Jews don't hunt.
	Jews don't go to gun shows.
	Fact is, Jews have always felt an abiding hostility toward the goys with their guns.
	Fact!
	Goys with their guns.
	Write it down, John.
	Yeah, it's possible.
	All in the world with its military prowess and victories at war.
	An enthusiasm for all kinds of assault.
	But if you watch it, then he goes into, like, oh, look at the Jews who are leading the gun ban.
	Look, I'm just reporting on it.
	You won't get this.
	This conversation anywhere, anywhere can anyone have this conversation.
	Because immediately, sponsors would be pulling out.
	We'd be thrown off the air.
	Oh my god, they had a conversation about anti-Semitism!
	Which is why we are known as...
	Sorry, it took a moment to admire.
	Yeah, it has been underutilized.
	I got the spreadsheet, so why don't I say to you, in the morning, John C. DeVore.
	In the morning to you, Adam Curry.
	In the morning, all ships and sea boots on the ground, feet in the air, subs in the water, and all the knights and dames out there.
	That's right.
	And we'd also like to say the same to all of our human resources in the chatroom, noagendachat.net, noagendastream.com.
	Thank you very much for joining us.
	Keep them honest.
	And I also want to thank all of our artists who always help out.
	Nick the Rat!
	Did the artwork for episode 484 and very happy.
	Noagendaartgenerator.com is where you can see all of the artwork as submitted by our No Agenda artists.
	And I think we're still having a problem with new artists signing up.
	Is Paul Couture, is he just not doing anything anymore?
	Is he just refusing?
	I don't know what the problem is.
	Everyone's tried to contact.
	Somebody said they contacted him.
	He says he'll look into it.
	And that was a month ago.
	Well, that sucks.
	Because this is an important resource.
	I don't know why this would fail out of the blue.
	Well, people aren't receiving their sign-up email or something like that.
	That's the problem.
	Well, it could be something like that.
	Yeah, that would cause a problem.
	But it sucks because, you know, it's hurting the show.
	It's not like we don't have a lot of art there, but you're right.
	New artists always need to be cycled through.
	Yeah, but then why don't we just start a new generator or something?
	Yeah, well, I can't help it.
	Just get a hold of couture somebody, please!
	I don't want to write the code over.
	John, I hated it when we had to do this thing in Ruby, and that was all your idea.
	So we do have two executive producers and four associate executives that we'd like to thank.
	It's starting with the $500 from William Baumann from Port Huma Huma Huma in California.
	I know you cannot pronounce either my name or where I live.
	Let me look at that again.
	Port Humongous.
	So don't bother.
	Sir Bill will more than suffice.
	My $500 contribution to the best podcast in the universe will complete my knighthood.
	Several months ago, the show granted my request for consulting karma.
	And wow, not only did my associates get some new leads, I got a good gig with some legs.
	Alright.
	I'm sharing my good fortune with the show.
	Please send all the family and friends a good shot of health karma.
	Several of them need it pretty bad because of my new gig.
	A chief prospect leaving the Democratic People's Republic of California is back on track and progressing smoothly.
	Talk about life in Austin and Washington State as much as you possibly can.
	I'm narrowing my search in Nevada, Arizona, Washington, Florida, or Texas.
	I just did this, okay?
	We did this a little over a year ago.
	Nevada.
	Okay, let's start with Nevada.
	You don't want to live there.
	Tahoe, maybe, if you're old, but it's crappy.
	No, you don't want to live in Nevada.
	We looked outside of Vegas.
	It's really depressing.
	It's like living in a kitty litter box.
	That's right, you did explore.
	Yeah, we did all this.
	You were actually seriously thinking of moving to Vegas.
	We looked at houses.
	Arizona, it's kind of like Texas without the hot chicks, so I'm going to say no.
	A lot of retirees in Arizona.
	In fact, when you fly to Arizona, you've never seen anything quite like it.
	You take a Southwest flight to Arizona, you get off the plane, especially you try to sit in the front, and there are literally dozens and dozens of wheelchairs lined up around the exit runway thing.
	I mean, there's just hundreds of them.
	So it's like Vegas without gambling.
	Yeah, worse.
	All right, Washington.
	Now, Washington State.
	I personally, and I'd love to hear your opinion.
	No state income tax.
	No state income tax, but very wet.
	It's not as wet as you'd think.
	It's wet.
	It's gray.
	It's too gray.
	It's a gray, wet state.
	Yeah.
	So, okay, so let's go.
	No.
	Then we have Florida.
	Florida is...
	You want to talk about...
	Florida has two...
	One thing, when you get off the plane in Florida, you also have these lines of...
	Wheelchairs.
	Unless you have a wheelchair.
	Now, a couple things about Florida you should note.
	Florida has no state income tax, and...
	If something happens, you go bankrupt or any horrible thing happens to you financially, they cannot take your house away.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, it's one of the only states that will not let them take your house away.
	So if you have this huge mansion and you go broke, you're living in the mansion.
	I have a feeling Texas is that way, too.
	I'm not sure.
	I don't think it's like Florida.
	Florida is where all the scammers go.
	Right, but Florida is a scammer.
	By the way, the good news about Florida...
	Probably better looking women than Texas.
	But most of them are strippers.
	Yeah.
	Which is a good thing.
	So, you're confusing me, John.
	I'm not sure.
	Florida, to me, is like, okay, definitely a plus for the strippers.
	I think that's very good.
	Definitely a plus on the no state income tax.
	High, high, high level of douchebags in Florida.
	High, the highest possibly level.
	Particularly...
	In Miami, it's just wall-to-wall douchebags.
	In fact, we had Jamaican in Austin came by the house yesterday.
	He used to be the Jamaican in New York, now he's the Jamaican in Austin.
	Miss Mickey was taking photographs of him.
	And he lived in Miami for 15 years, and he was telling me, man, that is just douchebag heaven.
	So he says, stay away from Miami, thus Florida.
	So I'm saying no.
	Well, Florida's really more like six or seven distinct areas that are different than each other.
	Because Clearwater is all the Scientologists.
	And you have douchebags on steroids, literally, in South Beach, which is part of Miami, but it's not really.
	But if you get up to Tallahassee or those areas up by the Panhandle, apparently it's quite nice.
	It's more like Louisiana.
	I'm going to say no to Florida, which leaves us with Texas.
	Yeah, move to Texas and make those property rates go up so Adam has to pay more rent.
	No, I'm locked in for two years.
	I'm locked in.
	Our new landlord can't do anything for two years, so we're good.
	Sure.
	Yeah.
	Oh, man.
	All right, so that's what we got.
	There's our rundown of...
	You know, try North Carolina.
	That's a pretty interesting place.
	And Colorado, I think there is something to say about Colorado.
	No, no.
	Buzz.
	Buzz it.
	Hit the buzzer.
	I have friends in Colorado.
	I'm not going to hit the buzzer.
	Hit the buzzer.
	It's radioactive.
	The whole state's radioactive.
	Sorry, Colorado.
	We're so sorry.
	Colorado is hereby off the list.
	There's a lot of states we could talk about.
	I think pretty much the Hot Pockets Tour 2009 is pretty much all off the list.
	We went to Kansas, Utah.
	Anyway, thank you, Bill.
	You shall be knighted today.
	Sir Bill.
	Well, he's not Sir Bill yet.
	He will be later on.
	Nice.
	Okay, onward.
	Lynn Fogwell is talking about North Carolina.
	Oh, wait, wait, wait.
	First we have to give him some karma.
	Give him all the karma.
	Can't forget the karma.
	He thought karma.
	By the way, I'm sorry, Don.
	A lot of people, Mickey came up with this as well, are talking about Costa Rica all of a sudden?
	Oh, this is what old ladies talk about.
	What?
	I mean, it was like Costa Rica.
	My mother-in-law has been dead for 10 years.
	She went to Costa Rica constantly, and apparently it's an old folks.
	I mean, this is where I'll do it.
	It just bothers me because it's...
	Costa Rica!
	But I'm going to go.
	I should go check it out because everyone keeps talking about it.
	It's really pretty and it's designed for Americans.
	It's kind of like Florida.
	It's probably only they got, you know, all kinds of bugs you've never heard of.
	I don't know.
	So you're just saying this based on your dead mother-in-law, not on any fact.
	You've done any fact-checking.
	Well, she talked about it.
	Yeah, ten years ago.
	Maybe it got really good.
	It's been this way for a long time.
	It comes around and goes around.
	And so people talk about, take a trip.
	You've got Mickey there.
	It's a closer trip for you than it is for me.
	Just jump on a little puddle jumper.
	You'll be there in two hours.
	I'm going to look at some pictures of Costa Rica right now.
	And while you're doing that, I'm going to thank Lynn Fogwell, who's in Raleigh, North Carolina, it says on PayPal.
	But not really.
	She could be a guy.
	Could be a woman.
	Hey, if you live in a hut in Costa Rica, then it's rockin'.
	One of those huts on the beach.
	Greetings from Shanghai, China.
	Hey!
	This place sucks.
	I request one jingle vomit.
	Dealer's choice.
	What's a jingle vomit?
	Oh, jingle vomit.
	I know how to do that.
	That's where basically the jingles just vomit out of my machine.
	Oh, you just punch a bunch of buttons.
	Yeah, exactly.
	But Lynn, and Lynn, I have a feeling, is Lynn not a dude?
	I don't know.
	Yeah, there was an email about this.
	Well, we have to know.
	You had a good laugh after hearing Adam do this a couple weeks ago.
	Love your work.
	We have to know because there's a knighting or a damehood.
	It's kind of important.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Well, you want to put it off?
	No!
	I mean, I'm looking.
	I'm seeing if there's an email about this.
	This is annoying.
	This is not good.
	Maybe Westkill Jr.
	knows he could come running in.
	All right.
	So anyway, Lynn is the sole Club 485 member on today's show.
	Very important to point out.
	Oh yeah, it's 485.
	So I'm going to do a little jingle vomit for a China jingle vomit.
	There you go.
	You've got karma.
	Works for me.
	I would guess.
	Based on the style of donation, that it would be a male.
	I don't think a woman has ever joined one of these clubs named after the show number.
	Really?
	I'm pretty sure of it.
	That would be very surprising.
	I don't think women go for that kind of gimmick.
	I just remember somewhere.
	Anyway, onward.
	Vincent James in Decatur, Alabama.
	We cannot find any email from Vincent.
	He came in with 22823, so he'll be an associate executive producer.
	Then our old friend Dame Astrid.
	Oh, no.
	Came in at 220222 and she says 220222.
	Why?
	Because it takes two to tango and you two are simply the best.
	And maybe 22.2 is coming up.
	Love how John lately puts his foot in it deep and then so obviously does not even take the trouble to gloss over it.
	Quite endearing.
	Yeah.
	Life would not be so...
	I don't know what she's talking about.
	Life would be so sad without you two.
	You know, Dame Astrid, and of course she is part of the architectural duo known as Dame Astrid and Sir Mark over there in Gitmo Nation Sushi.
	So they sent, she sent Miss Mickey a bag as a gift.
	And the bag has an imprint of a 9mm on the outside.
	Have you ever seen these bags?
	No, no.
	They're Dutch bags.
	Let me see.
	Dutch gun handbag.
	I think that's...
	Then you look at the images.
	It's great.
	Google...
	This is it.
	Google Dutch gun handbag.
	It's the top images.
	This is literally the bag she sent Miss Mickey for her next trip through the TSA. That is a great bag.
	Isn't that awesome?
	Yeah.
	It's more than a little image.
	It's like an embossed.
	It looks just like a gun.
	It is.
	It is embossed.
	It's very funny.
	And did she get the black one?
	There's some other ones that have a gold one.
	No, not the gold one.
	She's got a really beautiful kind of like high-end one that's pink.
	I don't know if it's on here.
	So what it looks like, not all the bags, but one of the bags looks like the gun is actually in the bag, kind of sticking out of the bag.
	Yeah, it's exactly what it is.
	Isn't that great?
	That's funny.
	That would be great to go through TSA with that.
	We're going to.
	They'll confiscate the bag.
	We'll see.
	We're going to.
	No, I know they will.
	We're going to see.
	I'll tell you why.
	Why?
	Because it's provocative.
	It's a threat.
	It's the outline of a gun.
	They won't let you take a water gun through.
	So why would they let you take this through?
	It's not a gun.
	There's no gun in it.
	The water gun's not a gun.
	Yeah, but it's an object.
	There's nothing to hold.
	It's a design.
	It looks like there's a gun in there.
	It's a design.
	You will be pulled aside.
	The bag will be confiscated, and then they'll let you go on your way.
	Oh, man.
	I guarantee it.
	I can't speak for Mickey.
	I don't know if she wants to risk losing the bag.
	She will lose the bag.
	Absolute guarantee.
	Let's not do it, then.
	Well, I have a good example of this kind of thing is that we do have a clip.
	You know we had that Amtrak clip the other day?
	Yeah, where shut up, slave, don't approach the dog.
	Got one from Emeryville.
	Amtrak?
	Got one from Emeryville.
	Same thing.
	Play it.
	This is a message from Amtrak.
	Keep your luggage with you.
	Is this real?
	Is this real?
	At all times.
	Today, Viper team specialists from Homeland Security will be aboard this California Daylight Express train to Sacramento.
	They will be conducting a test of passenger obedience.
	This is only a test, but you are required to obey all orders and may be frisked, patted down, strip searched, x-rayed, or tasered as part of this terrorist drill.
	Do not ask questions, just do as you are told.
	All women on board this train will be obliged to suck the cock of any Viper Team officer if so requested.
	Men may have to submit to buggery.
	Welcome to Amtrak.
	Have a safe journey.
	Alright, you got me.
	Dustin and I was like, well, this is really bad.
	The echo's off.
	It's like...
	Who did that?
	Just showed up.
	Seriously, I was like, well, this is like, it's not funny, you know, because it just wasn't right, but then it took a turn for the good.
	Very good.
	And thank you, Dame Astrid, for your $222.22 contribution to the program, the best podcast in the universe, as evidenced by our actual recording at an Amtrak station.
	DuneBuggyGolfCars.com.
	Hey!
	Hey, he did it!
	Wichita, Kansas.
	Our first multi-cart order of Dune Buggy Golf Carts has been shipped to our customer in Saudi Arabia.
	Awesome!
	Which is exactly the market.
	That's so cool.
	We've been paid in full and here's a small donation from the sale, $200.33.
	The donation will be from Dune Buggy Golf Carts.
	And I love the value for value model.
	Keep up the great work.
	John Dunn at Dune Buggy Golf Carts.
	And you can find him at DuneBuggyGolfCarts.com.
	And all you Saudis listening to this show, you can get one of these things.
	They're cool.
	Joel Zimmerman in Talent, Oregon.
	$200.13.
	Dear Rocky and Bullwinkle, best of show to you both.
	The girls of the Emerald Triangle are coming after you soon.
	Washington is wonderful, except they don't have enough weed.
	Oh, there you go.
	Another reason not to move to Washington.
	Not enough weed.
	They're going to grow it.
	It's legal.
	Yeah, well, first of all, thank you very much to our executive producers and our associate executive producers.
	It's always nice.
	We have two new nights today.
	This is great.
	Hopefully, we'll find out.
	I have a feeling that Lynn is a dude.
	So, is Buzzkill Jr.
	around?
	I don't see him in the back channel.
	He's not...
	I don't know.
	Okay, well, it would be nice to know before the ceremony.
	I don't know if he's going to be able to figure it out, unless he could email him or something.
	I think there's an email.
	Anyway.
	Well, let me whistle for him.
	Yeah, do that.
	I love it when you do that.
	Yeah, I love it when you do that.
	Where's the whistle?
	There we go.
	That is how you summon your kid, ladies and gentlemen.
	So we have a show coming up on Sunday.
	Sunday's going to be another jam-packed episode where we look away from all the distraction and drill down into the two, not just one, but we have two huge C-SPAN events that we're watching today.
	We have Panetta and Dempsey, which is taking place as we speak.
	Then at 2 o'clock Eastern, we have the confirmation hearing of John O. Brennan, and he will become the douche of the CIA. They're going to run him through the system, so there'll be lots of distractive talk about drones.
	Isn't Brennan the guy who they gave the ruling, they gave him...
	Iraq to kind of run, and he ran it into the ground and kind of screwed up the whole thing?
	No, you confused the other guy.
	No, it was not Brennan.
	Okay.
	No, it was the...
	I know who you're talking about.
	It was...
	He had a name like the...
	No, the Provisional Authority dude.
	Provisional Authority Leader Iraq.
	What the hell was that guy's name?
	Bremer.
	It's called Bremer.
	That's who led that.
	So it's not Brennan, that was Bremer.
	So what did Brennan ever do?
	He was with the Bush.
	Hey man, what is Barack Obama...
	What does he do?
	What does he do, actually?
	What does he do?
	No, what is...
	So Brennan was with the Bush administration?
	Yeah, he was part of it.
	Why doesn't the Democrats have their own people?
	Hello, George W. Obama.
	We've got to keep this in.
	This is very important.
	This is, if you want to wake people up, okay, and there was, oh, we've got to wake, we've got to save the world, wake people up.
	There's only one thing you have to do.
	Just refer to the president as George W. Obama.
	Because it immediately jars the Obama bots circuitry.
	Like, oh, what?
	What?
	I can't handle what you're saying.
	Overload, overload, overload.
	And it is the truth.
	So Buzzkill Jr., I could have probably done this too, found him on LinkedIn.
	It's a guy.
	Okay, found them on LinkedIn.
	So, by the way, which continues my point, that only men will donate show numbers.
	Interesting.
	Hmm.
	You know, you may be correct.
	Yeah.
	You may be correct.
	So there's going to be a lot of work between now and Sunday.
	Tons of it.
	And these confirmation hearings are annoying.
	But you have to really pay attention to everything.
	It's not just one guy.
	John has to do it because, like you caught the provided to you bit that Carney said, you don't always catch it the first time.
	No, you only catch it.
	It's weird to catch these little gaffes.
	It is.
	Because you can't catch them when you're watching.
	We've proven this.
	You can't catch them when you're watching them on video.
	And this comes from a couple, two, three years ago when Adam observed that the acting on TV is dreadful if you just listen to the acting.
	But when you see the acting, it seems to be okay until you listen to it.
	Because you're looking at boobs and, you know, like, hey, she's a really great actress.
	In fact, well, after we're done with this, I do have a clip that kind of proves that point.
	Well, let me just do a little Jedi mind programming.
	Dvorak.org.
	Of course, you can always help us in one very significant way.
	Propagate the formula!
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	New.
	World. Order.
	Hey, everybody!
	Hey, citizens!
	Shut up, slave!
	That is right, and all of those credits are official credits, meaning that if anyone questions if you were an executive producer of the best podcasts in the universe, we will vouch for you personally.
	Personally.
	And I'd like to thank the guys over at iTunes, at Apple.
	I bitch about Apple easily.
	Do you know that we disappeared from iTunes entirely, John?
	Why did that happen?
	Well, something happened on their back end, it seems.
	That's what it seemed like at first.
	This is like a double whammy story.
	Because, you know, we were disappearing.
	We weren't showing up in iTunes anywhere pretty much right after Sunday's show.
	You could search and be like, no agenda.
	So first of all, it was a great opportunity to teach everyone how to subscribe to our feed and not be beholden to something in the middle.
	So that was kind of good, but if you want a PR opportunity, I mean, if you're not on iTunes, you don't exist.
	I mean, I hate to say it, but that's the power, right?
	Unfortunately.
	Yes.
	So I email Brian over there at the iTunes, the podcast department, and I say, yo, dude.
	And he got back to me.
	He says, oh, it looks like something happened on our back end.
	We're very sorry.
	We'll fix it.
	We came back.
	The show comes back.
	And then like a day later, he says, you know, I found out what happened.
	It wasn't actually Apple's fault.
	You ready for this one?
	This is crazy.
	Apparently, somehow, at Mevio, they have the power to hide shows through their iTunes store interface, and someone was doing some spring cleaning and just hid a whole bunch of shows, including us, hid them.
	Well, I thought we were going through our other connection instead of Mevio.
	Well, that was basically what I said.
	I said, we're disassociated.
	This is not possible.
	And that is now what they're working on.
	Like, yeah, we've got to change this.
	We can't have anyone just randomly hiding shows unless it's the owner of the show.
	So it was kind of frightening.
	It's a policy issue.
	Yes, but anyway, I appreciate the fact that they looked into it.
	So who at Mevio did this to you?
	Well, I don't know.
	I don't know.
	You should find out.
	I'm going to find out.
	I'm going to find out.
	By the way, it didn't just do it to me.
	What was that supposed to mean?
	Well, did they know about the show?
	You're not going down the list and going, what's this show?
	Screw that!
	Adam Curry, one of our board members.
	Screw him!
	Let's get rid of that!
	I am supposed to remind you about the newsletter.
	Yes, the newsletter.
	We did a newsletter, and in it we have a couple of charts.
	Actually, one.
	But there's a second one, which is we're doing the next newsletter, which shows the very distinct...
	Shows you when the government starts lying to you.
	And I recommend people go to this site and start looking at the charts there, which is ShadowStats.
	It's out of San Francisco.
	And what he's done is he's taken, in the newsletter we have one of the charts for inflation, and it very clearly shows you that the government...
	It shows two things.
	One, inflation is 10% according to old classic calculations.
	So let me just add to this that when you look at this chart like we discussed on the program before, the lines diverge.
	And there's a huge difference between the red line, which is what the United States government says is truth, and between the blue line, which is what ShadowStats says is truth, Interestingly, the two lines, once they diverge out away from each other, are pretty much mirror image.
	I mean, they're in unison.
	They're just separated by, what, 10% at least?
	Well, with a 10% inflation rate, it's not going to be separated by more than 10%.
	Okay, so it's separated by 5% then, whatever it is.
	I don't have the thing in front of me right now.
	Let me look at it.
	It looks as if they claim that there is...
	3%, 2%, some really low inflation, and then the reality is apparently it's 10%.
	People know what the deal is.
	I mean, look at the price of gasoline.
	That's been kind of taken out of the government equation.
	Oh my God, but while you're on that, it went up 20 cents in two weeks.
	Have you seen this?
	Yeah.
	What happened?
	I think I know, actually.
	Can we gouge them a little more?
	You know what happened?
	Remember before the election, the prices went down dramatically?
	Because, of course, we needed to get rid of that from the conversation.
	I went back and I looked at all the press, and in the end of August...
	The president himself, along with his economic council, which is, you know, what's his face, Immelt and Sperling and all these guys, convinced the Carlyle Group to invest in the Sunoco refinery in Pennsylvania, which is like the craziest, like a $200 million investment in a hole, in a money-losing piece of crap that just doesn't work.
	And I think that they're dumping that thing now or whatever.
	You know, it's, oh, election's done, screw it, or we're going to get our investment back by gouging everybody.
	Something like that happened.
	I mean, it's possible.
	I mean, I know they can gouge.
	But anyway, looking at this chart, it appears that about 1984...
	Here's the stats from 1980 on.
	Before 1984, the lines were just perfect.
	They were right with whatever the government said, whatever shadow stats said, the calculation was the same.
	1984, they began to lie.
	But they only lied by, it looks like, 2%.
	Oh, it's a fudge.
	In 1992, if you look at the chart, it starts to diverge even more.
	So it becomes 3%, a lie, 4%.
	Then there's a huge lie, and it's been that way ever since, beginning in 1998.
	And it's been a 7%, it appears to be about a 7% lie.
	So whatever they tell you, if inflation is 2%, it's 9%.
	And that's been consistent ever since.
	But the cool thing is it started in 1984.
	Yes, which is funny.
	It's amusing.
	The government begins to lie.
	Yes, 1984 is when it all started.
	The more interesting one to me is the one that I'll run on the next newsletter, which is the unemployment rate.
	And there's three lines to follow.
	But Obama, specifically during his administration, has begun to really lie about the unemployment rate, considering the old calculation.
	And the old calculation, everything, there's a regular unemployment rate, then there's U6, and those two are kind of in parallel.
	And they're slowly going down.
	But the real calculation has been going up, and it's close to 25% now.
	That's what the true unemployment rate is in this country.
	I've been meaning to ask you a question.
	You know, I read Zero Hedge and, you know, do you ever read Zero Hedge?
	Yeah, I read most of these things.
	Okay, so we read a lot of the same things.
	And what I continuously see is, let's see, just recently, $140 billion was withdrawn from American banks.
	No one knows where it went.
	All of the...
	But they pay for gasoline.
	Fill up Obama's jet.
	You know, Germany wants its gold back.
	You know, countries are making noise about their gold.
	Hey, man.
	And that's for real.
	I mean, Germany actually wants their gold back.
	And then you read the analysts, and of course there's a lot of other guys, Peter Schiff of the world, etc., Who say, you know, with the conservatively 40, but probably closer to $80 billion a month that is being printed to buy the U.S. government bonds, which essentially, you know, the United States owns or buys 75 or 80% of all of our own debts.
	You know, we're monetizing our own debt, which of course is helping the stock market spike.
	That the bond bubble that is building up is going to just...
	Whether it deflates rapidly or whether it's a big explosion, but that this really will take the United States down into oblivion.
	This is what I keep reading over and over again, and there's only one person I know who I can ask, and that is, of course, the Nobel Peace Prize economist, John C. Dvorak.
	What is the validity?
	Are we headed for an ultimate demise of the bond market, which could lead to deflation, it could lead to a number of things, but it seems like it can't go on forever.
	That's what everyone keeps saying.
	Most of the smart money right now has bought into the theory that the bond market is going to collapse.
	Explain to people the bond market, because this is really easy to say.
	Please explain the bond market.
	I don't think anyone ever does that.
	The bond market is essentially different than securities.
	When you buy securities, you're buying a piece of the company.
	When you buy a bond, you're essentially buying debt.
	You're buying.
	You're loaning.
	You're the bank.
	You're a bank.
	The bonds represent kind of a loan to some company that's got the bonds.
	So who issues the most bonds in America?
	The U.S. government issues the most.
	And that's all debt.
	And that's where we're so deeply in debt.
	But most of those bonds are issued to Americans.
	A lot of people think that Chinese own...
	You know, the Chinese do own a lot of our...
	Yeah, they own like 40%, but...
	No, it's...
	Is it more?
	Not close.
	It's a small number.
	I thought it was 40%.
	No, no, no.
	I think all foreigners maybe own 40%.
	So wait a minute.
	Do you own U.S. government bonds?
	No.
	Why would I... Well, you said most Americans own it.
	Who owns this stuff, then?
	Who's buying it?
	Well, a lot of Americans own it because they're in a...
	401k?
	For example, fully invested into a retirement fund.
	Yeah, okay.
	They'll have a ton of those bonds.
	Very interesting.
	Okay, I'll come back to this.
	I'm putting a bookmark by the retirement thing.
	Okay, so that's what a bond is.
	But $85 billion is being made up every month, and the Treasury, if I'm not incorrect, is buying those bonds.
	They're buying a lot of bonds, yeah.
	But so we're buying our own debt.
	Yeah, it's cool, huh?
	Yeah, it's a great system.
	If you think about it, it's like a great idea.
	Essentially, it's like I have rent, but in order to pay the rent, I print up some dollars and then give that to my landlord.
	That's the system.
	Well, I can see people interpreting it that way.
	I'm simple.
	I'm just a simple guy.
	So the bond market will collapse.
	With that, then, the debt collapses.
	No, the debt is the debt.
	I mean, it...
	What happens when the bond market collapses, the prices go way down of the bonds.
	The bond prices go way down because right now they're too high.
	And the interest rate thus of the bonds, what the bond would pay if they bought it at the lower price, goes way up.
	Right.
	Now, if we look at the shadow stats thing that we brought out, and it has a 10% inflation rate, which is probably the true number that reflects the true inflation that Americans are experiencing.
	That's probably the number, instead of like you buy this bond and you get 1% interest back, it really probably should be 10% interest back.
	Then I'd go buy some bonds.
	The bond selling for $100, it probably should be selling for about $10.
	So that, 10x, right?
	So that means, and the difference between $100 and $10 is a collapse.
	Well, hold on, hold on, question, question.
	So does it make sense then, seeing as I only have whatever cash I have in the bank, I have no other assets or anything, to buy some bonds now because when this thing blows up, then I'm going to get a huge percentage.
	So you're going to buy a bond for $100 and then watch it go down to $10?
	Is that what you're wanting to do?
	I thought interest gets paid on it.
	The interest gets paid on whatever you pay.
	If you buy a bond today at $100 and you get 1%, that's all you're ever going to get.
	Just one time?
	No, you keep getting it.
	I mean, the interest is an ongoing thing.
	So you'll be getting 1% back.
	This is a bad idea.
	Stop!
	Stop!
	It's a bad idea.
	I'm not going to do that.
	Screw that.
	I'm not going to buy it.
	No, what you want to do is short the bond market when it collapses.
	Oh, now you're complicating it.
	I don't want to be short.
	I don't understand.
	Well, that's what these guys think.
	There's one guy, and I don't know if he's a zero hedge guy or not, but one of the most famous investors in the country.
	Ben Bernanke?
	Yeah, Ben Bernanke.
	Bernanke would probably agree with him.
	He says that this bond market, when it collapses, will make more multimillionaires than any single event in the history of the stock market.
	It is going to be a bonanza for people who know how to short.
	And by the way, chat room, go fuck yourself.
	I'm doing this for your benefit too, okay?
	This is a conversation.
	Adam does no shit.
	You didn't understand anything.
	I'm doing this so that we all can learn something instead of just accepting whatever is fed into your stupid pea brain.
	Hey, quit being distracted by those boneheads.
	So I say this in relation to something that Richard Cordray said.
	Do you know who Richard Cordray is?
	Yeah, his name comes up a lot, but I'm always confusing him with Rob Cordray, the comedy guy.
	No, this is not the comedy guy.
	Yeah, yeah, Richard Cordray.
	He is the head of the U.S. Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, you know, the thing that that horrible woman started?
	Yeah, yeah, oh, right, the woman we hated.
	Yeah, that woman.
	What's her name?
	I don't know.
	The Indian, American Indian.
	He said regarding the, so personal retirement accounts, 401k stuff in America, total value was estimated $19.5 trillion.
	Sounds right.
	Cordray said in his recent interview, yeah, that's one of the things we've been exploring and are interested in, in terms of whether and what authority we have.
	What does that mean?
	The thinking is that, oh, hello, we can't trust banks and other institutions because we are the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.
	Remember, Richard Cordroy, he wrote the book on terrorism, that poor finances turns people into homegrown terrorists.
	That's the book that he wrote, that they are going to nationalize The 401ks.
	Nationalize all of the pensions.
	Take it away from the banks and use the citizens' own investments and savings as the true backing of all of the bonds.
	Oh, nice.
	I'm seeing some serious talk about this.
	And it makes so much sense because I've always wondered why this guy was made the chief of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, which, of course, you know whenever the government says we're here to help run the other direction.
	So you know this is not about being scammed by your credit card company.
	I think they're going to lay this big farce.
	Maybe we need to have a big blow-up of some pension fund, which Europe is certainly...
	Showing us the way in that regard.
	I had a pension with the Dutch government broadcasting organization.
	They tracked me down here, sent me a letter, and said, yeah, we're really sorry.
	You're not getting any money ever.
	Literally.
	What?
	Yeah.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Maybe in, you know, because I won't retire for a long time, but they're saying, you know, foreseeable future, no way.
	We can't even tell you when any money would be paid.
	It's horrible.
	It's really, really horrible.
	The Dutch pensions, you know, of course the Dutch don't complain.
	Yeah.
	You know, they're sheep.
	But there's some serious conversation about this.
	Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't confiscate...
	Yes, confiscate.
	That's it.
	Well, that's the word.
	That's what they're doing.
	Nationalize.
	Also called confiscate.
	But that could be a great way to go.
	I think what that kind of, what was the total value?
	$19.4 trillion.
	How much?
	$19.4 trillion.
	Wow.
	Yeah, that would be a boost to the economy to nationalize that whole money and then put it right, buy those bonds back.
	They're going to have to do something before this collapse situation.
	This is what I'm talking about.
	How much longer until the collapse?
	It's supposed to take place, according to these guys, if you believe any.
	Uh-huh, yeah.
	The cycle.
	It fits into my broader theory of the book I never can finish.
	Yeah, I'm not going to harp on that, man.
	It's supposed to happen at the end of this year, and I would target maybe October, which would be perfect, because generally speaking, most of these things, these collapses do take place in that month.
	Right.
	Now...
	What would be interesting is that we've already had a housing market collapse, which has finally settled out and is kind of bouncing along the bottom still.
	It's kind of like when the terrorists drag people behind their motorcycle through the sand.
	Yeah, that's what kind of was the housing market.
	That's the housing market.
	And the stock market really hasn't been pounded.
	In fact, it's way up.
	But the bond market is the one that, it could just literally collapse.
	And it'd be a lot of the muni bonds, the ones that are, you know, that...
	And then when that happens...
	Who wants to own debt in Madrid?
	I mean, the Spanish debt.
	I mean, it's just like...
	But when that happens, wouldn't that be the opportune moment to immediately say, oh, we've got to protect the citizens.
	We've nationalized.
	We grab all the pension funds.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I think it's actually genius.
	It's a great plan, right?
	But then we have $14.9 trillion.
	That's much more than we owe, right?
	How much do we owe?
	I think we're owing 12, or we may own up to 14.
	So then, all Americans, look, you're going to have to make the sacrifice.
	It's the shared responsibility.
	We're taking your pension fund.
	We're taking your money.
	We're wiping the slate clean.
	It's for your own good.
	We're wiping the slate clean, and then whatever's left over, we share with everybody.
	So it's going to be like $4 trillion left.
	You can't retire, but, you know, hey.
	At least you'll be eating American cat food.
	There's still a Social Security.
	You can retire with that.
	So, unfortunately, the same...
	I mean, there are plenty of people that were wiped out by Bernie Madoff that are now living in apartments, living on Social Security.
	Yeah.
	They were worth millions one day.
	Yeah.
	Millions.
	Yeah.
	But they were worth millions.
	How many people?
	He took the country for $50 billion.
	So they're worth millions of dollars.
	They're living a comfortable life in Florida.
	Yeah.
	And, you know, they get on their wheelchair when they get off the Southwest flight and they go to their place.
	It's a big, giant mansion.
	And they got wiped out and they had to make ends meet.
	They had to sell their place and move into an apartment.
	Now they're living on, you know, $3,000 a month in Social Security.
	You could probably manage that, but it's not the same.
	No, it's not.
	No, gee, understatement of the day.
	No, it's not the same.
	It's definitely not.
	But that's what I'll be living on.
	This is why I think they're so adamant about protecting Social Security, because if you confiscate all this money like you suggest, what you could probably do in some emergency act after a cyber terror attack.
	Ooh, I'm liking that.
	Well, there was that cyber attack on the Federal Reserve.
	Hmm, okay, okay.
	Might have been a dry run.
	I'm liking this.
	This is a whole new strategy, John.
	But keep your eye on Cordroy.
	Keep your eye on that guy.
	I mean, there's a reason why he's there.
	I've got to tell you the name of that book.
	What was it?
	Richard?
	Was it Richard?
	Cordray?
	I think that's his name.
	Cordray.
	I'm sorry.
	Cordray.
	Cordray.
	Richard Cordray.
	Cordray.
	Now, he wrote the book somewhere.
	He was a Marshall scholar.
	It's like Gary Johnson, which is kind of creepy.
	He also looks like the page on 30 Rock.
	On 30 Rock.
	In fact, it is the page.
	It's Kenneth.
	From Kenneth Cordray.
	From now on, Kenneth Cordray.
	But he wrote a book.
	Hold on.
	I remember we looked this up.
	He was raised in a champion high school.
	I think he was a Jeopardy winner, wasn't he?
	Yeah, he won $45,000.
	He was one of the best Jeopardy guys.
	He was on Jeopardy, yeah.
	So it makes total sense.
	But where's the book?
	I know that he wrote a book.
	I can't find...
	Because I remember we went through this whole thing.
	And personal life, appearance on Jeopardy.
	Maybe I'm thinking of someone else.
	But I'm pretty sure...
	There's no mention of a book on the wiki page.
	But he was...
	There was something about terrorism.
	Terror...
	Unless it's been a paper or something.
	Let's try this.
	Man, I can't...
	Okay, well that would kind of blow my whole theory, but the guy is, there's a reason he's here.
	I vaguely remember something like that too.
	Book, terrorism, let me just see.
	I mean, am I just nuts here?
	Well, it's not on this page, that's for sure.
	I did a search for the word book, not here.
	Search for the word terrorism, not on the page.
	No, I did the same thing.
	Oh, well, here we go.
	I wonder why I have that stuck in my mind.
	We'll figure it out.
	Homegrown book.
	Oh yeah, it was on homegrown terrorism.
	Yeah, I mean, that's books that illuminated gay life.
	No, no.
	Thanks, Google.
	What are you doing?
	Is Cordray gay?
	No, I don't think so.
	I don't know.
	I have no idea, actually.
	Wow, was it some other guy?
	His number, he was named consumer chief during one of those recess appointments.
	That's what Obama seems to be under.
	He's actually, I assume, court found the entire National Labor Relations Board to be completely out of order and unconstitutional.
	Yeah, completely illegal.
	Yeah, I know.
	But Obama doesn't care.
	No.
	Was he going to do anything about it?
	He's going to say, tough.
	Alright.
	Hey, you know, do you realize how close I came to completely nailing the Super Bowl outcome?
	Yeah, you came pretty close.
	It would have been 69, and it would have been San Francisco who won.
	Yeah.
	I mean, within the last couple of seconds.
	That game, power goes out.
	There apparently was a bet on power going out.
	How long did...
	Was there a bet on power going out?
	That's what somebody says.
	I haven't proven it.
	Really?
	Somebody says there was a Vegas bet on the power going out.
	Well, it was out for a total of...
	33 minutes.
	33 minutes, yeah.
	And here's what I caught the other night.
	Chris Christie, the governor of New Jersey, saying...
	It's what you would do in that situation, being a parent, for God's sake.
	I mean, how do you pick?
	And the NFL guy, Roger Goodell, he was with you last night?
	Yeah, I was in his box.
	What happened when the lights went out?
	He didn't seem to care one bit, actually.
	LAUGHTER He didn't care.
	He was eating some popcorn, checking his Blackberry.
	So I think he was in on the bet.
	He was checking his Blackberry.
	Yeah, he was in on the bet.
	You'd think he would care.
	It doesn't care at all.
	Now, of course, whenever we say, oh, this is all rigged and it's fixed and people begin to laugh, but I'm sure you have heard about these 680 matches in European football, soccer, which Europol is now investigating because it's all rigged, particularly the Champions League.
	Over 600 matches have been shown to be rigged.
	Rigged.
	Rigged.
	People always laugh.
	We say, hey, the fix is in.
	All the stuff.
	I thought the fix was in for the Niners in this game.
	And I think they fell so far behind.
	Here's what I think.
	I just want to see if the fix can be in and you can still go the wrong way.
	Somebody usually gets killed shortly thereafter.
	Well, here's what I thought initially.
	Now, I didn't know about the betting on the power.
	That's possible.
	I thought...
	Now, the coaches, they're brothers, correct?
	Yeah.
	So we had a Cain and Abel thing.
	I believe...
	That the Ravens were supposed to throw the game because all professional sports are rigged.
	And then the brother went, F you bro, I'm going to kick your ass.
	And that's why, remember, I mean, if you saw, they were fighting on the field in like the first five minutes.
	They're all fighting and pushing because the San Francisco was like, hey, bitches.
	We're supposed to be winning here.
	What are you doing?
	This is not what we agreed upon.
	And then they killed the power.
	The power and then the diners started to catch up and then they fell apart.
	They couldn't catch up.
	They were way too far behind.
	It was just impossible.
	But do you see how they did like 17 points in 15 minutes.
	I literally think that there was so much money riding on this.
	It was fixed.
	San Francisco's supposed to win.
	Then the brother goes, screw you, bro.
	I'm not playing that game.
	I'm out to win.
	What does Baltimore have to lose?
	They're like, screw it.
	Let's do it.
	We don't give a crap.
	Then they went in.
	They went totally for the kill, went for the win, and then it's like, oh, we're panicking.
	Throw the power.
	And that's when San Francisco kind of got it back together again.
	And I think because the points were much closer, that even if people lost, at least that point spread wasn't so enormous.
	So the power outage helped the guys who were in on the game.
	Does that make any sense?
	Well, no.
	Okay, well, I'm glad.
	Four points, five points for Baltimore.
	So the Baltimore team could have lost and still won the bet.
	Okay.
	But to me, that's what it felt like.
	Well, it felt fishy to me, too.
	And the Niners have had history of having kind of corrupt games, even though nobody wants to ever talk about it.
	But I remember they had a game against the Cincinnati.
	And the guy, Eddie D. Bartolo, who was the original owner that brought the team back from...
	Essentially from the seller of the league and made them five times champion more or less.
	There was always something fishy about every game.
	There'd be like one of the top linemen on the other team would mysteriously disappear before the Super Bowl.
	Seriously, there's all these guys who think so.
	I figure all the Niners are always going to win because there's this kind of stuff going on.
	I think your theory is basically correct, and I think somebody's going to end up dead in the next three months.
	I think that's very possible.
	And it's probably going to be that dude who killed two people.
	What's his name?
	What dude who killed two people?
	Yeah, there's the player.
	The dude who killed two people and he got off.
	No, no.
	Kill him.
	He's expendable.
	He's on the Baltimore team.
	They've got to kill somebody.
	No, they've got to kill somebody who made the deal.
	It's going to be something probably in the Niners organization or maybe the Baltimore organization.
	Somebody's going to get killed, though.
	I'm telling you, kill that guy as a warning.
	Well, we'll see.
	All I know is that if we watch in the Red Book, somebody in the league somewhere along the lines of the NFL is going to be mysteriously murdered.
	Yeah!
	Now, while we're on sports, because you know we never talk about sports, because I could give a crap about sports.
	Right.
	You don't care.
	You don't like sports.
	I do not care.
	I'm not interested.
	I watch the Super Bowl.
	You hate it.
	I don't hate it.
	I'm not interested in it.
	I'm not interested in the mind control.
	Professional sports is only built to keep men's testosterone going, to give you some outlet so you can drink beer and cheer for something and make you feel like a man.
	And then watch sports.
	I'm not going to argue, but go on with your thesis.
	Lance Armstrong.
	I've been thinking about this.
	This is a hometown boy, right?
	Lance Armstrong.
	He's your homie.
	He's our homie.
	Now, I will say that in general, even before this latest, even before the Oprah thing, people in Austin will say they're very proud of their Lance Armstrong story.
	Particularly what he's done for Austin, what he's done for Livestrong, even though they've kind of disassociated themselves from him.
	But you pretty much can't find anybody who won't say, oh, by the way, he's an asshole.
	Just in general, he's just not a nice guy.
	He's an a-hole.
	You cannot find...
	Anybody who will just say, oh, we love him.
	No, no.
	They're like, hey, great what he's done.
	And people say he's getting screwed.
	And I'm thinking, what is going on with this?
	It can only be one of two things.
	One, for some reason we have to teach the slaves about cheating.
	I haven't really developed that theory because I just don't know where to go with it.
	I'm much more interested in this USADA because the United States Anti-Doping Authority is a private organization.
	But because of an international treaty, this is what this whole Olympics business gives us, they are now funded by the United States government to go after doping in sports.
	Now, if you're going after doping in sports, you're only one step away from going after doping in the workplace.
	In fact, in the UK, they're already talking about this.
	So I think that this is part of getting people off illegal drugs and getting them on the good stuff made by Merck and, you know, the big boys.
	There's two problems with the thesis.
	Okay.
	Well, by the way, and I want to mention, since I am now watching the Slingbox in Australia, that there's a doping scandal going on there with at least two, a minimum of two, especially one, of the Australian football teams, which are apparently all pumped up on roids.
	Mm-hmm.
	So the problem with the thesis is that we know for a fact, but we know that most of the heroin, illegal heroin and all the poppy stuff is all run through the CIA. Stop, stop, stop, stop.
	Lance Armstrong was not shooting up heroin, John.
	This is not about, this is about the small little things.
	This is about the, you know, EPO is, you know, that's Enhanced Performance Droid.
	This is not heroin and coke.
	You're saying instead of...
	Uppers.
	Uppers.
	Adderall.
	You know, the good stuff.
	So you want to put these athletes on some sort of prescription regimen?
	No, no, no.
	They've got to use something.
	No, this is about funding an organization that is inherently a private organization.
	It's like Federal Express or Federal Reserve.
	By the way, they're stopping Saturday service in August.
	Hold on, don't confuse the issue.
	United States Anti-Doping Agency.
	Consult the Book of Knowledge.
	It is a private organization.
	Non-profit, non-governmental organization.
	This is like the Robin Hood Foundation.
	This is like the Red Cross.
	And now all of a sudden they're like some authority and they've been brought to the level that now Lance Armstrong may have to testify in court against these yahoos.
	This is creating some kind of organization that will go after people taking doping.
	It's kangaroo court.
	Thank you.
	Doping.
	And he's being made an example of.
	So then, you know, it's like we can go into your workplace.
	Oh, we got to check to make sure you're not doping people.
	Make sure you're not doping.
	I'm telling you, and the whole Olympics thing, this is all a big part of it, and we're in this because of these international treaties that we all think are also great, which is how you can drone, kill American citizens, with or without a drone.
	In December 2009, USADA, which sounds official, launched Supplement Safety Now in partnership with the National Football League, Major League Baseball, National Basketball Association, and National Hockey League.
	They got their nose in the big money.
	So we need a name like that.
	We need like the USNAS. Hello, I'm president of the USNAS, United States No Agenda Show.
	The U.S. has no agenda show.
	Come on, this is...
	Yeah, no, that's exactly what you need.
	U.S. NAS. But the federal...
	Federal U.S. NAS. I think that's good.
	Federal...
	I'm going to write it down.
	Federal U.S. NAS. By the way, they are following the World Anti-Doping Code.
	The code works in conjunction with five international standards for uniform harmonization of testing programs across the globe.
	You're right.
	So it's like a United Nations thing.
	Mm-hmm.
	Mm-hmm.
	Yeah, I'm telling you.
	It's a prohibited list.
	Why else?
	Armstrong, I don't know what the whole Oprah thing was about.
	I think the guy would do anything for money at this point.
	He has a G5 at Bergstrom Airport.
	That thing does not fly by itself.
	If you don't have your sponsor money coming in, you're getting rid of that thing real quick.
	I'm talking $100,000 a month.
	Just to have that G5 sitting there on the tarmac with everything that goes, or in the hangar, everything that goes along with it, with the depreciation, everything, that's a very expensive toy.
	And he's got nowhere to fly to.
	You know, they don't have to go to Reebok or Nike or anybody.
	He's selling that jet.
	He has to.
	He has to sell the jet.
	So, you know, I'm sure that he got money to crank up Oprah's.
	Man, Oprah came to him, dude.
	Dude!
	I mean, seriously.
	Oprah came to Austin for that interview.
	That's a big deal.
	So that was to jack up her channel.
	So I'm sure he got paid for that.
	I think he's just like, screw it.
	I'm just, whatever.
	I'm all in.
	I'll take whatever I can get at this point.
	There's something big going on, and we're just not seeing it.
	And that's the closest I can get, is that this is funding organizations to go in as authority.
	Brown shirts, essentially.
	You know what?
	Hey.
	Hold on a second.
	What?
	Am I crazy?
	GuideStar.
	Let's take a look at these jabronis.
	Who's GuideStar?
	That's where I get my Form 990s from.
	What's the name of this place?
	United States Anti-Doping Agency.
	Agency.
	Is it Agency?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	What was that?
	It comes out of the World Anti-Doping Agency.
	Yeah, but it's the U.S. Yeah, no, but that's the same thing.
	That's a bullcrap operation.
	Well, yeah, but I'm not interested in that one.
	I'm interested in the one that's going to be, you know, you want a podcast license?
	We have to make sure you're not doping.
	Let's see.
	Income, $15 million.
	I wonder where they got their $15 million from.
	From the taxpayers?
	Mm-hmm.
	Because it's so important that us taxpayers keep our athletes from doping.
	It's this Travis T. Tiggert.
	That's the guy that has like, oh, gee.
	Travis T. Tiggert.
	Interesting.
	Travis T. Really?
	Yeah, Travis T. I mean, it's like code.
	It's a code.
	It's code.
	Travis T. Tiggert.
	It's code.
	They're laughing at it.
	Like Tiggert, Oregon?
	Yes.
	Travesty.
	Hello, my name is Travesty.
	And interestingly, they have not filed their form 990 for 2011, or at least not made it public.
	So they got $10 million from the government right off hand.
	And where did the rest of the money come from?
	What does Tigert make?
	Okay, here's the...
	The agency is responsible for the testing, education, research, and results management process for U.S. Olympic, Pan Am, and Paralympic athletes.
	The agency is also responsible for enhancing research efforts and promoting educational programs to inform athletes of the rules governing the use of performance-enhancing substances, the ethics of doping, and its harmful health effects.
	So they are a pharmaceutical company.
	That's the way I see it.
	Tied into the Olympics, the New World Order, the Trilateral Commission.
	Bring them all in.
	I'm taking it a bit far.
	So it looks like 10 million bucks right off the top.
	Yeah, 2006, 8 million.
	2007, 8.
	2008, 9.5.
	2009, 9.8.
	2010, 10 million.
	So they've done 46 million.
	They have gross receipts from related activities, 22 million.
	This is just 2010 alone.
	So, now, I think they're, are they a C3 or 4 Corp?
	Because then they don't have to tell us where the money came from.
	Lobbying, non-taxable amount, that's their expenditures.
	Hold on, I'm just going down this list.
	I love doing this, as you can tell.
	Closely held equity, interest, financial derivatives, so they invest a little bit of that money.
	They give some money to...
	Oh, they did the symposium in Europe, Iceland and Greenland.
	They spent a little bit of dough there, but they're not saying where they get their money from.
	That's pretty interesting.
	Well, they probably...
	Who knows, but I'm sure it's coming out of the taxpayer's pocket one way, shape, or form.
	Here we go.
	I'm sorry.
	What is this?
	Research Triangle Institute?
	$100,000?
	Yeah, that's probably one of those operations.
	Yeah.
	Stratagene?
	Wow.
	Come on, look up Stratagene.
	That's got to be like some biotech firm.
	I would think.
	Purpose of grant?
	Purpose of grant?
	Product creation.
	Yeah.
	Uh...
	That's interesting.
	Thermo Fisher.
	NSF International product testing.
	These guys are in the drug business.
	They're making new drugs.
	This is great.
	Travesty makes $268,000 a year.
	That's good work.
	Plus money for speaking fees, I'm sure of it.
	Well, a total is $335,000 with all those benefits.
	But they don't really...
	I should look at who's on the board.
	I bet you there's some dudes in there.
	Let's see.
	Science, Research and Development, $1.2 million.
	Yeah, so this is a drug company.
	Okay?
	That's what it looks like to me.
	What do you think?
	What's the name of that company again?
	Oh.
	That sounds like a drug research firm.
	Okay, hold on.
	I'm sorry.
	I have to go down the list again.
	Yeah, this is what I want you to do.
	Where was it?
	Here it is.
	Stratagene, S-T-R-A-T-A-G-E-N-E, in La Jolla, California.
	This is great.
	This, ladies and gentlemen, is how it should run.
	It's been bought by Agilent Technologies.
	What's Agilent?
	I don't know.
	You're down the rabbit hole, Dvorak.
	Hey, I just saw on their homepage, USADA, apparently there's doping going on in the sport of curling.
	What?
	Yeah.
	You know that thing where they toss like...
	I need to be all pumped up on Roy's to push a rock down.
	They toss rocks on ice.
	On the Canadian news, I'm listening to Calgary.
	And archery.
	No, apparently there's doping going on in archery.
	I'm just looking at their webpage here.
	Skiing.
	My goodness, this is great.
	This is fantastic.
	Did you find out what that company does?
	Yeah, they make the testing stuff.
	The testing stuff.
	Yeah, the stuff that you test people for, roids and all the rest.
	This is, they're one of the leaders.
	Okay.
	Let's see.
	Edwin Moses, he's a...
	Diagnostic products is what it is.
	Okay, here we go.
	Richard Clark, chair, a USDA board member, is with GlaxoSmithKline Research and Development.
	We forgot to look at the board.
	He's the vice chair.
	Marsha Lee Taylor is the secretary.
	She was the partnership at DrugFree.org.
	Okay, she's the lobbyist.
	Then we have Carl Swenson, who's the treasurer.
	Let's see.
	Oh, he's an Olympian.
	Very good.
	Get another Olympic athlete in there.
	John Bardis.
	Let's see.
	John Bardis.
	Baxter International.
	Okay.
	It's slowly becoming very clear what this is all about, John.
	Sherry Ball-Wet.
	She looks like she was another.
	So they're doing, they do one medical shill and then they do one sports guy.
	Let's see.
	Sports management program.
	This Bud's for you.
	Okay.
	No, I mean, we've got all we need on there.
	We've got Glaxo and we've got Baxter International right on the board.
	Call them the shots.
	It's a beautiful thing.
	Yep, well, none of this is much of a surprise.
	However, the entire conversation that's going on is not about this.
	And this is what we do.
	That's why we are the best podcast in the damn universe.
	I'm gonna show myself old by donating to no agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh yeah, that'd be fab.
	Yeah, on no agenda.
	Pee in the cup, slave.
	In the morning.
	In the morning.
	And while you're peeing in the cup, you should be thanking some of the people who helped produce this show by contributing to it.
	Show 485.
	I'm off on this, man.
	I'm going to be...
	I'm looking into more of this.
	This is great.
	We just got to figure out...
	Maybe the Oprah...
	Maybe she...
	Maybe...
	Oh, I know the Oprah tie-in.
	Of course!
	She's an investor in one of these companies.
	No, man.
	Well, maybe that, but...
	She needs drugs.
	She needs drug sponsors.
	Sponsors.
	Drug sponsors.
	I'm going to look at the Oprah page while you're doing this.
	I bet you she has big drug sponsors.
	Let's start thanking people.
	Andrew Holcomb, Ann Arbor, Michigan.
	$111.11.
	More value for value.
	I'm way better at spotting the bullshit thanks to you guys, but I'm still unsure what to do about it.
	Please send a double shot at Carmen and my brother out in Portlandia.
	He and his wife are in needs of some goodness.
	Long live the printed book.
	Hell yeah!
	I'm down with that.
	You've got karma.
	Ron Hanneman, $111.11.
	I spent the last four days working on my cabin located in the forested isle of the Salish Sea.
	It's an off-grid design without benefit of electricity or plumbing.
	Oh.
	After, I don't know, okay.
	After working through what turned out to be nearly ten episodes, my douchebag needle was pinned firmly to the right, thus triggering an obligatory donation, I see.
	So, everyone is born with a douchebag needle.
	Yeah.
	You guys made my protracted and extreme isolation from social interaction bearable.
	Even, dare I say, enjoyable.
	Not hearing or seeing a single corporate advertisement for four days was good for the psyche.
	It probably is.
	Keep up the good work, gents, and play me out with John's going to hum the Sunday Times and you will obey, you will obey.
	John's gonna hum the Sunday time.
	You will obey.
	Wow, that is an outstanding combo.
	Yeah, it's an interesting one.
	And Communications 2020, our friend Sir Howard Guttnicht in Seattle.
	Double nickels on the dime twice, meaning two Abraham Lincoln vampire killers on the Benjamin Franklin.
	Thank you.
	Okay?
	Donald Silva in Yua Beach, Hawaii.
	You know, a guy goes up to another guy and says, how do you pronounce it?
	Is it pronounced Hawaii or Hawaii?
	And the guy says, Hawaii.
	And he says, oh, thanks.
	And the guy says, you're welcome.
	Wow!
	Is this the kind of humor they portray in Washington State?
	Thank you for continually educating me, Donald Silva says, about the media.
	Now I no longer believe what I hear from the news media.
	Please accept this donation for your fine work, $100.
	It is, as you say, the best podcast in the universe.
	May I have just the karma?
	Absolutely.
	You've got karma.
	Ryan M. Reich in Brooklyn, New York.
	I forgot to donate to Noah, Jennifer, moving karma before the show two Sundays ago, and my new super didn't make any of the necessary repairs to the new apartment my girlfriend and I are moving into.
	Oh, damn.
	I forgot to donate before last Thursday's show, and my friends got sick and couldn't help me move.
	I forgot one more time before this past Sunday's show, but I had been kicking myself so hard for not donating that I think the karma came through in advance.
	The apartment's almost 100% fixed up for us, and we're almost 100% moved in.
	I'd like to request $50 of Finnish moving karma and $50 of tribal karma, and we're taking a trip to the great state of Washington soon.
	Can I get some TSA karma?
	So he wants a WTC7, say something, see something karma.
	WTCC WTC7 won't go away.
	See something.
	See something.
	You've got karma.
	It's an oddball request today.
	Yeah, but I like it.
	I'm liking the fact you can find these old clips if you don't play much.
	I'm working on it.
	That was John Pease, Dublin, Ohio, for doing 9999.
	Anders and Jethro, keep up the good work on the best podcast in the universe I was introduced last year by a customer in Western Michigan who is an avid follower.
	But he needs to be called out as a douchebag for not donating.
	Since he's a customer, I guess I'll keep his name anonymous, but he'll know who he is.
	If I can get a shut up already, 999 with a shot at karma, that would complete my week.
	Okie dokie.
	Shut up already!
	Science!
	You've got karma.
	There you go.
	This is interesting.
	This is Christopher Arneson in Aloha, I guess, Oregon.
	I think it's Arneson.
	I think it's Arneson.
	Oh, is it Arneson?
	Arneson.
	Arneson?
	Well, he's not bitching about that.
	He's bitching about the pronunciation of Aloha.
	Right.
	Okay.
	He says pronounced not like the Hawaiian.
	And then he has a couple of these.
	It's Aloha.
	Oh, bull crap.
	Oh, bull.
	You don't say Aloha.
	You know, in Oregon, it wouldn't surprise me.
	Okay.
	I'm not going to put down Oregon, but let me just tell a typical story you'd run into.
	Yeah, I'm in Aloha, Oregon.
	Oh, really?
	That's funny.
	It's pronounced just like Aloha.
	Huh?
	Yeah.
	Right, okay.
	That was my Oregonian.
	Anyway, I want to thank us for the best podcast in the universe after five or six years of being off HF. Oh, he's a ham.
	That inspired me to go and find a used HF transceiver.
	That's VHF, isn't it?
	No, no.
	HF is the manly stuff.
	That's, you know, 20 meters, 30 meters.
	Oh, that's just a big dipole.
	No, well, I'm so excited about my project.
	Let me just finish reading his note before you give me the lecture.
	Anyway, bought a dipole.
	The ICOM 735, I found, is currently getting a complete alignment performed, and the copper weld wire is in the mail.
	Yeah, cool.
	Please credit this donation to my beautiful wife, Valeska, and he sent us pictures of her.
	I saw, yeah.
	She apparently never dresses as anything but a character.
	She's an anime character.
	I love her.
	She's awesome.
	Every picture of her is like she's in some costume.
	Well, they go to a lot of anime things.
	She's turning 34 today.
	Oh, really?
	I would have guessed 27.
	For noagendanation.com tracking purposes.
	And send her a Kiki Sui Karma LGY. I punched her in the mouth back in October.
	And she has been a dedicated listener ever since.
	Anyways, 73 and 88 from KU7PDX. And he sent us $88.88.
	Which is our special ham donation.
	Thank you very much from KF5SLN. And I don't know what John's call is because I don't have to say it ever, ever.
	Because, you know, he's never on the air.
	Shut up already!
	Science!
	Yay!
	And there's your karma.
	You've got karma.
	I just wanted to say that I've been working on my project, which is something that you'll really love this, John, because you'll be able to just plug it into you.
	It's wireless.
	You don't have to plug in your computer.
	Or you can use your smartphone.
	And you will be able to, and just, you can attach a coat hanger if you wish.
	Your results will vary, but you can just attach a wire, low power, 5 watts, and no knobs on the front.
	You just plug it in, and it goes, and then you can communicate all over the world.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Oh, no.
	You have to at least be a general ham.
	No, I'm sorry.
	No.
	Aaron Yoho in Fairmont, West Virginia, 7777.
	It's Gitmo Yoho representing the 304.
	Hmm.
	Enough with the swazzle nuffs already.
	Everybody knows 77 is better.
	Why?
	Why?
	Because you get eight more.
	Seriously, though, you deserve every penny.
	Please visit our podcast, mountainmanifesto.com, featuring Dame Lizzie.
	Oh.
	A true Appalachian who appreciates our hillbilly point of view.
	Please give us an Atlas-shrugged, Dvorak fart noise, followed by Adam laughing karma in hopes that mountainmanifesto.com takes off.
	P.S. Mountainmanifesto.com.
	Atlas-shrugged by Ayn Rand.
	I don't know.
	You've got karma.
	Oh, look at this mountainmanifesto.com.
	That sounds great.
	mountainmanifesto.com.
	What do you think they got going on there?
	And Lizzie's there.
	Dame Lizzie, dude.
	Cool.
	David DeRusse.
	It's a podcast.
	Yeah, that's what he says.
	David DeRusse and Zyndrecht.
	No, that can't be right.
	Zwijndrecht. Zwijndrecht.
	Zwijndrecht.
	What's AL?
	Alabama.
	No way.
	It might have been NL, but maybe Buzzkill Jr.
	slipped.
	That's quite a slip from the...
	No, he wouldn't have done that.
	But he is in the Netherlands.
	After my mystic 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 donation a while ago, now a top-off to $200, making me a one-fifth knight, just like the state lottery scam here in the Netherlands.
	Please give me a win, Karma, so I can donate the remaining four-fifths to become a real knight this year.
	Here you go.
	Win!
	You've got karma.
	Andrew Sturgill in Steamboat, Colorado.
	Steamboat Springs.
	Yeah, I've been.
	75.
	I had to donate after hearing Adam's comment about the cable news journalist being turds in the same pot.
	Nearly fell out of my chair laughing.
	Fascinating gun slash big pharma analysis.
	I think you guys might be onto something.
	Keep up the great work, Adam.
	I hope the aviation porn shirts from Denver Hot Pockets stop fit okay.
	It was a real fun meeting you and Mickey.
	Yeah, we had a good time.
	That was a very nice stop.
	All of Colorado was nice, even though, obviously, you wouldn't want to live there.
	And ready?
	Hit it.
	Oh, crapola.
	I'm sorry.
	I'm just goofing off here.
	When is this thing ever going to die?
	69!
	69, dudes!
	All the following are 69, 69.
	Daniel McTuff in Silver Springs, Maryland.
	Keep up the great work.
	Could I get a don't eat me, shut up already combo with a shot of karma?
	Don't eat me.
	Sorry.
	Hold on.
	I'm a little behind here.
	It's like the butcher.
	Don't eat me, Hillary Clinton!
	Shut up already!
	It's science!
	There we go.
	You've got karma.
	Took me a moment.
	You heard about the butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
	You know, you're just, you know, this is pretty much the soupy sales show, everybody.
	Except for the pies.
	Actually, it's words like Jackie the Joke Man here.
	I'm doing a show with Jack.
	Eric Newman.
	Hello, John the Joke Man Dvorak.
	Eric Newman, I've just proven to the audience out there that you actually have no sense of humor.
	Hello, Spice and Keyboard.
	I'm celebrating my one-year exodus from Gitmo Nation, Endless Summer, Orlando.
	And now cheerfully enjoying proper winter weather in Gitmo Nation, French fries on your sandwich, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
	Yeah.
	And by the way, that is a very famous thing they do.
	I realize I haven't donated in over a year and heard all of John's kvetching about low donations, so here's a swazzle enough to hopefully smooth things out over for a few more months.
	I've also increased my monthly donation to 1212 to help curb inflation and low donations.
	If you would, please give me some consonant karma for my gorgeous girlfriend, Sarah Steed Ested.
	Sarah Stead, who also moved with me to Pittsburgh.
	By the way, Pittsburgh's a very pretty town.
	She works a horrid job where the corporate culture has devoted to a bunch of scared slaves working in cubes, chiding each other about only working 40 hours a week.
	That's the new normal right there.
	Yeah, you're only working 40 hours a week, loser!
	Loser!
	I love the rest of this.
	Or for taking a lunch break.
	What?
	You took a lunch break, loser!
	Should be working!
	Wow.
	Yeah, that is the worst.
	That is what's happening right now in this country.
	And these idiots have allowed this to continue.
	Her bosses often have conflicting artistic views, so her immediate boss might not like something that her boss likes.
	A vice versa thing goes on.
	We appreciate a delicious karma.
	Karma plus a Hillary delicious plus little girl yay.
	In that order.
	Reverse order.
	Oh, reversed order.
	Okay.
	And they hope Sarah can get a proper graphic design position.
	Isn't the graphic arts world, they're bitching about lunch?
	Wow.
	It's not coders.
	Wow.
	Well, hold on.
	You make it sound like coders, or software developers as we would call them, like they're not artistic?
	That is one of the most artistic jobs ever.
	No, no, no.
	They're the ones that have the worst grind.
	It's coders.
	They'll just be working and working and working 16 hours a day.
	They work their butts off and they don't get paid overtime.
	They get ripped off by these companies that turn these coding machines.
	Horrible.
	And then they give them names like Ninja.
	Have you noticed that?
	Yeah, Ninja.
	We're looking for a coding ninja.
	Why don't I just throw a star in your face, a-hole?
	You've got karma.
	It's almost too delicious to believe, my friend.
	Yay!
	Alright, reverse.
	As you wish.
	Okay, now we got, uh...
	Ash from Gitmo Nation.
	Am I going to have the right one here?
	Yeah.
	Ash from Gitmo Nation East of something.
	I don't know what this means, this little acronym.
	I-M-O-T-N-C. Heil, everybody.
	Your last batch of karma did me well, and it's been a while since I last gave value for value, so I thought I'd chuck in another swazzle enough so that I could get a fiscal cliff.
	Little girl, yay karma.
	Keep up the media assassination.
	I'm working on propagating the farming to a few more human resources, but it's a slow burn sometimes.
	Hi, everybody!
	Wow!
	You've got karma.
	I like that.
	James Ward in London.
	Leaves a little more karma listening for years, but he just started donating.
	A little more karma.
	Sorry.
	You've got karma.
	What is this?
	Andrew asking for karma.
	Andrew Fight.
	F-I-T in Stockton.
	Coming in with a drunk donation.
	I want to say that swazzled off whatever the hell it's called karma works.
	I would like to challenge those who don't donate with giving a shot at karma for a whirl.
	Try it!
	I dare you.
	It'll change your life.
	Thanks again for providing us with the best podcast in the universe.
	If it's not too much trouble, I'd like another shot of karma.
	You've got karma.
	He had a cold.
	Ben Mann in Atlanta, Georgia.
	Dear Eldis and Joran, I know the donation says I'm donating from Ringo, Louisiana, but I'm actually donating from Atlanta, Georgia, home of the worst drivers on earth.
	By the way, they are the worst drivers on earth.
	And I actually talked to some police about this when I was in Atlanta, because there's a big freeway they put in the middle, through the middle of town, it goes all over the place.
	And when you drive down this freeway, the freeway is littered with wrecks.
	I mean, it's just short of blood all over the freeway.
	It's littered, literally littered with wrecks, miles of them.
	And some cop told me, he says, well, the problem is that they never had any of these freeways and nobody knows how to drive fast.
	Because it was all just little streets.
	And it's just constant wrecks.
	There's just a mess.
	So it is the worst drivers.
	It might be the worst drivers on earth.
	When I heard El Cid distribute karma to all the listeners on Sunday's show, I literally felt the good vibes from his donation travel all the way through my body.
	It was at this point that I could no longer deny the legitimacy of the karma shout-out.
	So in that vein, I would like to do the same and wish some good karma, not the bad kind, and all of the No Agenda listeners out there, I would like to point out to all you NA doubters out there, in reference to Adam and John, forsooth, they speak the truth.
	Thank you for the best podcast in the universe.
	Adios, mofos.
	Adios, mofo.
	You've got karma.
	Spiro, Spiro, Zafaris in Perth, our favorite town in Australia, although I've never been there.
	Hey, all folks.
	Spiro from Perth in Gitmo nuts down underpants.
	For that, suicide me with a two to the head, and please release some karma from my sister and co-producer, Katina, who's celebrating her birthday tomorrow, February 8th.
	We should put her on the birthday list.
	Oh, hold on a second.
	How come, eh, she's not on the birthday list?
	The birthday list is huge.
	No, it's not huge.
	We finally have someone with a birthday list.
	Let me just see.
	It's, uh, Spiro, Spiro to his sister.
	Yeah, Katina.
	Katina.
	What's her name?
	Katina?
	Katina.
	Okay, tomorrow.
	Okay, got it.
	Healthy just getting by, no mac and cheese, but lots of konjac noodles and deer antler broth.
	Okay.
	Okay, but he wants a two-to-the-head karma release.
	You've got karma.
	Josh Jackson in West Sacramento.
	In the morning, my friends, I've been a boner since somewhere in the late 200 show to early 300 shows.
	And while I've not had the funds to help with a financial donation, I've done my best to propagate the formula as an employee of Slaveway, aka Safeway.
	I've always get a kick hearing how the stuff sold there is crap.
	It's hard living.
	You know, here's the thing.
	I didn't realize that iceberg lettuce had any flavor.
	Because my parents always bought it from Safeway.
	So I started buying it at the Green Grocer and I said, you know, because if you have children, they will only eat iceberg lettuce.
	They don't like the other stuff generally when they start.
	So you realize this stuff is actually pretty good.
	Then you go back to Safeway because you need some iceberg lettuce and you taste it.
	You realize somewhere, I don't know where they get it, but obviously there's a checklist.
	Would you like iceberg lettuce or completely tasteless iceberg lettuce?
	And that's the box they check.
	I've been wanting to donate for so long, but when I got the email on 123, I thought, oh, fudge, I better donate.
	So I picked up the extra shift at work so I could just make this donation.
	Thank you for the awesome show, and especially thank you for making the decision to keep the language on the show clean.
	Will we try?
	I do.
	I'm very good at it.
	I'm hitting my parents in the mouth whenever I can, and it makes it so much easier to share segments of the show.
	I don't have to worry about offending their delicate sensibilities.
	Yeah.
	I'd like to request a got information, man.
	Two to the head, shut up, slave.
	You will obey.
	Oh, well, hold on a second.
	That's quite a lot there.
	That's a four.
	Yeah.
	New information, two to the head, shut up, slave.
	I've got information, man.
	New shit has come to light.
	Shut up, slave!
	You will obey.
	We can't do this, people.
	We can't do this.
	Besides that, there's too many.
	Three, max.
	Jake Davis in Honolulu, Hawaii.
	69-69 in the morning, John and Adam.
	I just got back from another deployment on a sub.
	So it's been a while since I donated.
	Once again, I found that the best podcast in the universe was a great way to catch up on the news and that took place between port calls.
	Every time we pulled in, I would download all the episodes I missed and I'd get my dose of what I missed in the world.
	My wife is due to have a baby next week, so please give her a dose of karma to make that kid head on out sooner rather than later.
	Keep up the good work and thanks for all you guys do.
	Thank you, Submariner.
	You've got karma.
	Good work, Submariner.
	And that was it.
	Yeah.
	69!
	69!
	And until we make a change in our policy, we'll continue reading to $50, which is Russell Rhodes in Tallahassee, Florida, 6789.
	Enjoys the assassination that we do.
	He wants to just send your cash, take that to the bank bullshit.
	Okay.
	That's it.
	Yeah.
	We just need cash.
	I know a lot of people want to send blankets or water.
	Just send your cash.
	You can take that to the bank.
	Bullshit!
	Oh.
	You've got karma.
	Bonus.
	After bitching pneumonia, you only want three.
	You gave him four.
	What can I say?
	Sir James Briscoe, our buddy in Bayshore, New York, 67-68, had to donate because I heard the bullshit spiel that I hear while walking through the Amtrak floor in Penn Station every morning via the LIRR, Long Island Railroad.
	Please give Smitha some karma.
	She deserves it.
	That's all, Chief.
	You've got karma.
	6666 from Collin in Mount Pleasant, Michigan.
	Dear Jeb, Alistair, and Mandy.
	Longtime listeners, best podcast in the universe, as night Scott William got me hooked on your media assassination many moons ago.
	I've been a boner for too long and I'm donating stoned.
	Uh-oh.
	Hey, man.
	I've been a boner for too long and I'm donating stoned.
	Proving that marijuana can lead to productive actions.
	I'm donating stoned.
	$66.66 in exchange for two mothership boarding passes from my lovely girlfriend Carly and yours truly.
	As long as the flight hasn't sold out, I would be honored and humbled if we could get picked up.
	Humbled and honored.
	Honored and taken off of the earth whenever the new world fully enslaves the planet.
	I'm requesting some see something, say something, chemtrails, little girl yay karma to help all the slaves defend themselves against those pesky, persistent jet contrails.
	If you see something, say something, chemtrails.
	You've got karma.
	Ryan Wright in Pasadena, Maryland.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	I'm making this donation for three reasons.
	One, call me out as a douchebag immediately.
	Douchebag!
	I donated on last Thursday's show to support you guys to get my wife's birthday call out, but I forgot to mention her damn name.
	Like, which one?
	But I promise to make things right this week.
	Please give a shout-out to my wife, Michelle, and tell her I'm sorry, but I made good as promised.
	Number two.
	My son's Lane's birthday was on February 6th.
	Please put him on the birthday list.
	Is he?
	Yeah.
	Number three.
	This is the best damn podcast in the universe and you guys deserve it.
	Please dedouche me as I made good on my promise to throw us and throw us a Dr.
	Kiki Karma combo.
	Keep up the great work and keep hitting him in the mouth here in Maryland.
	Nuts.
	You've been deduced.
	Shut up already.
	Science.
	Science.
	You've got karma.
	This is an odd one here from Elliot Gardner in New York, Pennsylvania.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	ITM, Alfred and Jerry.
	I want to wish my brother, Sir Andrew of No Agenda Racing, a happy 30th.
	Can I get a poop, please?
	Two delicious LGY and throw in a karma for Sir Andrew and Stephanie.
	Uh, Too Delicious.
	You got Poop Police?
	Yeah, I got Poop Police.
	Huh.
	Well, he wants Poop Police Too Delicious.
	Okay.
	And then LGY. Detective Dookie.
	Detective Dookie.
	Poop Police.
	SPU. It's almost too delicious to believe, my friend.
	Yay!
	Yay!
	You've got karma.
	There you go.
	Hey, you asked, you want poop police?
	I got your poop police right here.
	Linda Noyan in Houston, Texas.
	A small gift for the best podcast in the universe.
	We'll donate more later as we are currently just getting by.
	Request karma, job hunting in a house, and the climate gate jingle.
	You've got karma.
	To the gate, to the gate, to the climate gate.
	No karma?
	Uh...
	Oh, karma for job...
	Well, because you didn't finish the note.
	Anyone looking for a new...
	No, no, you started the jingle before I finished.
	I thought you were cutting it.
	I'm sorry.
	I'll do the karma then.
	My fault.
	You've got...
	It's nobody's fault.
	It's just...
	It's part of the show's structure.
	It just is.
	James McPhisto in Milford, Connecticut Nuts.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	I've been a long-time boner, first-time donor.
	I've been listening to you guys for a while now, and you guys have really changed how I see the media.
	That's what we do.
	Now I see it as a steaming pile of dog crap.
	I thought I'd give you guys some value for value for helping me open my eyes and see what bullshit they are pulling on us.
	I'm looking for a job and test-taking, Carmen.
	I'm still awaiting a call from the people whom I last interviewed or who last interviewed me, uh, As well as taking my A-plus-702 test today, and any help would be appreciated.
	What is that?
	It's like a side of almost too delicious, I don't know, to believe.
	Don't eat me, Hillary.
	And a shout-out to my beautiful girlfriend, Anita, who I love and care for so deeply.
	It's almost too delicious to believe, my friend.
	Don't eat me, Hillary Clinton!
	I wonder what an A-plus-702 test is.
	No, look it up.
	Is that like a real estate thing, maybe?
	What do you think, is it a real estate test?
	No.
	Daniel Rudin also double nickels on the dime from Cedar Rapids, Iowa.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	Why?
	Because metal money is superior to paper money.
	Metal as a commodity has real value.
	Its value is derived from its rarity and thus its use as a resource.
	Only American debt slaves would deal in Federal Reserve notes whose purchasing power is...
	Constantly diminished by central bank inflationary policies.
	When you deal with commodity money, truly exchange value for value, brother.
	Can I get a douchebag call out for Dvorak and all the times he has been a proponent of high inflation?
	I've never been a proponent of high inflation.
	Douchebag!
	Meh.
	Meh.
	Did you say meh?
	Meh.
	Chris Bergeron in Denver, Colorado.
	Denver, Colorado.
	Radioactive.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	As a recovering alcoholic now celebrating one year of sobriety, I realize I can't finish my ninth step until I make direct amends to the best podcast universe for being such a douchebag for the past few years and never paying.
	Thank you for not only providing such an entertaining and educational show, but also for teaching me how to deconstruct the media as I view it.
	My news experience has never been the same or as rewarding since.
	Shout out to Tom Wolfarth for hitting me in the mouth and I could get a dedouching followed by a karma shout out to help me improve my income and quality of my sobriety.
	You've been dedouched.
	You've got karma.
	Mark Matiosas in Holbrook, Massachusetts.
	That's 5242.
	Feb 7th is my 30th birthday.
	I'm donating to you in honor of me.
	Please give me a dvorak.org slash n-a.
	Two to the head, L-G-Y. Karma.
	So far, John has not said my last name correctly.
	If he says it right this time, I will do a monthly donation subscription.
	Oh, jeez.
	I should have read this earlier.
	I could have gotten this pronunciation.
	Matiosis is real simple.
	That's what I said, Matiosis.
	Dvorak.org slash N-A. Yay!
	I guess he didn't want a karma.
	Jeffrey Gerlach, our friend in Alamo, California.
	He wants this done in a stoner voice.
	Dudes, I ask you, what should I do with batshitcrazy.org?
	Okay.
	I have a feeling that forwards to us.
	I don't know.
	Type it in.
	batshitcrazy.org.
	Daniel Frayer.
	Why is it?
	It does.
	It goes to the No Agenda show.
	Daniel Frayer.
	F-R-A-I-R-E. I'm guessing.
	It's in El Paso, Texas.
	50.
	I'd like to thank you guys for the excellent job you all do on the show.
	It's been listening for a long time and I don't believe I've ever heard a donation from El Paso, Texas.
	Please call out the citizens of El Paso, Texas as douchebags.
	Douchebags!
	Along with the tutor they had for me since I've poked ass for so long to finally donate to the greatest podcast in the universe.
	Godspeed, you two.
	And keep up the good work.
	Matt Carver, LLC in Sheboygan, Michigan.
	$50.
	And that will conclude our donation segment for show four.
	8-5, and we're coming up on 4-8-6, and hopefully people will keep up the pace.
	We're coming up on show The Big 500.
	We're only 15 shows away from 500.
	500 episodes.
	What are we going to do for The Big Show?
	What day does The Big Show fall on?
	Even more important, what day does The Big Show fall on?
	Open the calendar to figure it out.
	You want to do it?
	Why don't you do that?
	And while you're doing that, I'll do the birthdays.
	Dvorak.org slash N-A-R-A. It's your birthday!
	Birthday!
	Birthday!
	On your world champion!
	Christopher Arnason says happy birthday to his wife, Valeska.
	I'll bet you'll be dressing up pretty for him tonight.
	Russell Rhodes says happy birthday to his son, Vic Crumb Rhodes.
	Turning three tomorrow, Brian Wright's son Lane celebrated on the 6th.
	Elliot Gardner says happy birthday to his brother of noagenderation.com.
	Sir Andrew, Mark Matiosis, congrats himself, turns 30 today.
	And Spyro says happy birthday to his sister, Katina.
	She'll be celebrating her birthday tomorrow.
	Happy birthday from all your buddies here at the best podcast in the universe, better known as the No Agenda Show!
	You figured out?
	Appears to be the 30th of March.
	Oh, really?
	And that's a Sunday?
	Yep.
	The big show, 30th of March, man.
	Yeah, I'll double check that, but it looks like the 30th of March.
	Pretty awesome.
	We have two nightings.
	It's been a while, so I'm very happy to do that.
	I'm always glad if we just thank you and get your sword out there.
	There you go.
	There you go.
	William Bauman and Len Fogwell, step forward.
	Both of you are entering the very exclusive club of Knights of the Noah General Roundtable.
	We highly appreciate the support of the best podcasts in the universe, and therefore, I can now present thee and bestow thee with the honors.
	I hereby pronounce thee.
	Sir Bill and Sir Lynn, both knights of the knowage in the round table.
	For you, sirs, hookers and blow, red boys and chardonnay, hot pants and booze, wenches and beer, rubinettes, women and rosé, geishas and sake, vodka, middle of bonkets and bourbon, sparkling cider and escorts, and mutton and mead ready here at the round table.
	All you have to do is just come and sit down and enjoy.
	Thank you so much.
	And your pins will be on the way.
	We're making them, I believe.
	We're still designing the pin.
	No, that's part of the making process.
	Yeah, well...
	Well, who's doing the actual designing?
	Well, that's the big question.
	Who is?
	Oh, come on.
	We've got no submissions from any of our artists.
	I mean, we could use the simple pin that was sent out to a few people just for a moment by Greg Birch, our Dentite Knight.
	But I wanted something that was a little more flashy, maybe multicolored.
	Although we can always fall back on this pin.
	It's not a bad pin.
	I've got one.
	Anyway.
	I need to thank three people.
	I need to thank, because I finally started going through the mail.
	Oh, by the way, the IRS. You know what, when you come back, because I hadn't, you know, we were in exile.
	I hadn't looked at any of the mail.
	So yesterday, as I'm doing Ms.
	Mickey's paperwork, I'm going through the mail.
	I see a letter from the IRS. What does your heart do at that moment?
	Sinks.
	It's an unpleasant experience.
	Yes.
	Apparently, even though I paid, they have not received my filing for 2010.
	How does that work?
	And I did it with TurboTax, so it was filed electronically.
	Anyway, so I'm going through the mail, and I find a number of things.
	I would first like to thank Baroness Maggie and Mr.
	Smith, who sent me, and I'm presuming they sent one to the post box, an NSA challenge coin.
	Did you get one?
	I do have an NSA challenge coin.
	I'm not exactly who...
	No, I got an NSA challenge...
	I believe I have an NSA challenge.
	Yes, I do.
	But I got it from an anonymous source.
	I got it from some guys at the agency.
	Do you have the one that says 60 years of excellence?
	I believe so.
	Okay, and what is the slogan?
	I don't have the coin here with me.
	I'm going to tell you what the slogan is.
	Defending our nation...
	Securing the future.
	God, those guys are full of shit.
	It's got little diamond studs.
	It's got little diamond studs.
	Then I would like to thank...
	Yours has diamond studs in it?
	It does.
	It has four little diamond studs.
	Oh, I haven't got that one then.
	Well, they're zirconias.
	Jim Hamer.
	I have stones in mine.
	Jim Hamer from Virginia.
	And I'm pretty sure that Virginia Nuts, I'm pretty sure he sent you one of these.
	A silver coin.
	I've seen these advertised.
	It looks like the queen, only her head is like a skeleton head.
	And it says, keep calm and slave on.
	Right.
	Yeah, I did get one.
	I want to thank Jim.
	We credit him on the...
	But it's fine.
	Yeah, it's a silver coin, so that's worth like...
	You know, that's like 30 bucks right there.
	Yeah, yeah.
	No, it's an ounce of silver.
	Yeah.
	And then I would like to thank John Gugolas from Perth, which, as you know, is our favorite town there in the Australia's nuts, for sending me a sampler of Velbex 17.
	Which is 100% natural, topical, analgesic, and anti-inflammatory balm.
	I didn't get any balm in the middle.
	You don't deserve any balm.
	This is for my back.
	Have you noticed that you go to the post office, who they're trying to screw, so we have to pay millions of dollars to send a letter.
	Yeah, which, by the way, we need to point out, as you have pointed out, this whole Saturday delivery, that's not because the post office are idiots and broke.
	It's because they have to pay their pension 75 years in advance.
	It's a scam.
	Yeah, but people don't understand.
	Post office sucks!
	It's horrible!
	This is another government agency that has to be getting rid of!
	By the way, it's constitutional.
	We need the post office because that's the only way you can actually have secure communications between people through the U.S. mail.
	If you get rid of that, you're getting rid of all privacy forever.
	Exactly.
	It's true.
	And when people say, oh, I never used the post office, the post office delivers parcels just as many as UPS does.
	And actually, I think their deal's better with that prepaid box.
	Yeah, just as long as you can load it up with stuff, you don't have to weigh it.
	As long as you can shove your girlfriend chopped into bits into that box, she ships.
	There you go.
	Flat rate.
	Flat rate.
	Just chop her up and she can fit in the box, she goes.
	So now, by the way, when people are dropping off parcels, the post office says the following.
	Is there any perfume in there?
	Oh, really?
	I've heard this two or three times because I go to the box, you know, and there's a line and people are doing stuff.
	For the post office, nobody uses anymore.
	The place is always packed.
	And so when they bring a parcel in, the person behind the counter says, is there any perfume in there?
	So now you can't ship perfume.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Well, you know, when we got some movers, two guys in a truck, you ever heard of this outfit?
	Movers?
	Yeah, two guys in a truck.
	Yeah, you talked about this on another show.
	So you're not allowed to move plants or alcohol.
	What?
	They won't take it.
	What?
	No, plants and living things.
	I've got a wine cellar, let's say, with $10,000 worth of wine that I've collected for 30 years.
	And I want to move.
	And I want to move the wine.
	I'm pretty sure that a moving company will not do that.
	So I have to move it by self?
	Yes.
	Huh.
	I've never heard of this.
	Well, it was the same thing when we moved from California.
	They also wouldn't do it.
	Well, I know when you're moving from state to state, there's an import-export issue when it comes to alcohol.
	Well, we are moving from outside of Austin to inside of Austin.
	Maybe there's some different...
	You come in Austin, you know, you gotta pay a tax.
	Get out in Austin.
	You're not out there.
	There's something weird.
	Oh, by the way, do you remember who made the No Agenda moonshine?
	What about him?
	I need a new bottle.
	You went through the moonshine?
	Yeah, I've been drinking this.
	You haven't been drinking it straight, I hope.
	No, no, no.
	Every night.
	And Mickey has a little glass of, you know, what is that sweet, sticky stuff called?
	Could be anything that's sweet.
	Sherry?
	You know what I'm saying?
	A wink, wink, nudge, nudge is sweet, sticky stuff.
	I give her some of the sweet sticky stuff.
	Then I get a tall glass, two fingers of no agenda moonshine, two rocks, fill the rest up with nice, filtered, clean, pristine water.
	It's outstanding!
	We have to find a way to sell this stuff.
	Moonshine guy, get back a hold of us.
	Listen, I mean, I was a scotch drinker at night.
	I have completely become the moonshine drinker.
	It's really, really good.
	And I don't like mixing my drinks, but I can imagine.
	I mean, it has a great taste, and I won't make you go blind.
	And it's potent, and it has our logo on it.
	This is really good.
	The logo's dynamite.
	Okay, we'll get on the moonshine thing.
	Give us 30 days and we'll have the whole thing figured out.
	So there was this kid who was kicked out of school for pretending to throw a pretend grenade to protect the country.
	Did you hear about this?
	No, but why does not even surprise me in the least?
	They had to kick the kid out of school during last year sometime for pointing his finger and then making a gun, like little kids do, boom, boom, boom, boom, kind of thing.
	Threw him out.
	Threw him out of school.
	What's interesting, though, is he makes up a word which they laugh about, but it turns out it's actually a pretty good word.
	I just can't believe I got suspended.
	Seven-year-old Alex Evans doesn't understand his suspension.
	They said I was being suspended.
	Any better than he can pronounce it.
	It's called Rescue the World.
	He was playing the game during recess at Loveland's Mary Blair Elementary School.
	Yay!
	And threw an imaginary grenade into a box with what he called pretend evil forces inside.
	I pretend I had something in my hand.
	I pretend in the box and there's something shaking in it.
	And I'm like...
	He did not throw anything real or make any threats against anyone.
	He explains he was pretending to be the hero.
	So nothing can get out of it and destroy the world.
	No...
	But he says he got dispended.
	Yeah.
	But that's a real word.
	Dispended.
	To pay out, expend, or spend.
	Yes, it's from the Middle English.
	And I think the kid was dispended.
	It's when you get paid out, you're used, you're expended, you're thrown away, essentially.
	That's what dispended means.
	Huh.
	Yeah.
	And they're making fun of him.
	That's pathetic, these stories.
	I like them.
	We have a zero tolerance policy on pretending to be, you know, like what you see on television and what we all pledge allegiance to and what we all think is really the way to go, which is an American state of army.
	Right?
	Absolutely.
	It's a scam.
	Just like this, I think it's done, it's got into the lexicon.
	It's a mixed message.
	Because the kids, you know, they're all afraid of doing anything and they can't do anything.
	If they pretend or they fantasize like kids do, then they can get themselves into trouble.
	Meanwhile, then they go home and all they see on television is just violence.
	Well, again, it was like the Super Bowl, where...
	We thank our men and women in uniform because without them, there would be no Super Bowl.
	Literally, this is what they were saying.
	Without the men and women in uniform, there would be no Super Bowl.
	Now, let's hear from the Sandy Hook children.
	So it's like, don't have guns because you're going to get killed by guns.
	And by the way, the girl who was a Jennifer Hudson, what's her name?
	Her old family was shot up by guns and killed and everyone was killed.
	It's all anti-guns, kill the guns.
	And then, you know, back to the flyover.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Exactly.
	I know.
	It's a mixed message.
	I think it scrambles the brain.
	Well, thank you very much.
	This is for sure.
	This is a big part of it, I think.
	I think they actually intend to confuse you with this stuff.
	Yeah.
	So speaking of words, I've got a couple of things.
	Words matter.
	War on Ammo.
	Listen to Pierce Moron.
	Mark Glaze, I mean, there are people now beginning to say, yes, maybe we should look as a nation at amending the Second Amendment again and the reason or repealing it because the wording has been so...
	Let's appeal it.
	He said appealing.
	He didn't say repeal it.
	He said appealing.
	He wants to appeal it.
	You know why he said that?
	Because he means it.
	Exactly.
	Yeah.
	He said appealing.
	He's an idiot.
	Yeah.
	And then listen to this.
	This is a commercial for MSNBC moving forward or whatever their nazistic slogan is.
	Listen to...
	Tell me what's missing.
	We must have a renewed fight for many of the things we fought for because voting rights and women's rights and the rights of people against discrimination, whether they're African American, Latino, lesbian, and gay, must be protected until we have a nation that is really living up to the creed of one nation, indivisible with liberty and justice for all.
	Not all of one kind, but all.
	Alright, what did you miss?
	I don't know.
	He damn near put me to sleep halfway through.
	What did I miss?
	Okay, so two things.
	First of all, no racism against blacks, Latinos, gays, lesbians.
	Nothing about white people or women.
	So that's all that is.
	But no, he left out God.
	He's doing the Pledge of Allegiance.
	One nation, indivisible, and then he says, with liberty and justice for all.
	What happened to the God part?
	And he's supposedly a minister.
	Yeah, listen to it again.
	It was really crazy.
	He's really living up to the creed of one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
	Okay.
	I mean, I don't mind, but I thought it was interesting.
	He is the Reverend Al Sharpton, is he not?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I think he's an atheist.
	I think he's an a-hole.
	Well, that goes without saying.
	The rest of it is up for debate.
	But here's my favorite.
	This is my all-time, talking about confusing people.
	So we had the Sandy Hook kids at the Super Bowl.
	Of course, they were already on the Today Show doing the MK Ultra Anthem of Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
	And, well, you know what?
	It turns out they're a Exploiting the students from Newtown.
	That's what some are saying after it was announced that Ryan Seacrest would be featuring a group of students from Newtown, Connecticut on his red carpet show that airs right before the Grammys.
	Now, E! Entertainment Television says they're going to be seeing the hit song, Call Me Maybe.
	The appearance comes just a week, though, after another group of students from the school sang alongside Jennifer Hudson at the Super Bowl.
	So, is all of this...
	Cute?
	Endearing?
	Good for the kids?
	Or is it exploiting the Sandy Hook tragedy?
	The prostitute asks if it's exploiting the kids.
	No!
	Really?
	Really?
	You question this?
	Call Me Maybe?
	That's the song they're going to do?
	It's kind of a dumb song for kids to sing.
	Well, these kids are the ones that are supposed to be traumatized.
	Yeah, what do they want?
	They go pick up some girls or guys?
	That's a, you know, a come on song.
	You know, call me, you know, hey, how you doing?
	Let's look at the lyrics.
	I threw a wish in the well, don't ask me, I'll never tell.
	I look to you as I fell, and now you're in my way.
	Whoa.
	I trade my soul for a wish, pennies and dimes for a kiss.
	I wasn't looking for this, but now you're in my way.
	Your stare was holding.
	Ripped jeans, skin was showing.
	Hot night wind was blowing.
	Where you think you're going, baby?
	Hey, I just met you and this is crazy, but here's my number.
	Call me maybe.
	Holy crap.
	This is frightening.
	It is totally.
	I never looked at those lyrics.
	Well, it goes on a little bit, but of course I'm being offered a ringtone.
	Hold on a second.
	Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number.
	Call me maybe.
	It's hard to look right at you, baby, but here's my number.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	Okay.
	And all the other boys try to chase me, but here's my number, so call me maybe.
	You took your time with the call.
	I took no time with the fall.
	You gave me nothing at all, but still you're in my way.
	I beg and borrow and steal, have foresight, and it's real.
	I didn't know I would feel it, but it's in my way.
	Damn.
	It's creepy.
	It is creepy.
	We should read more lyrics, by the way, now that you did that.
	Yeah.
	That's...
	Well, yeah.
	I have a thing, you know, just my conspiratorial thinking, you know, is actually...
	It kind of makes a lot of sense that, you know, these kids...
	You know, because this whole thing was like some pedo-bear scandal or whatever.
	They're just keeping these kids occupied so they can't talk about anything.
	You know, turning them into little celebrettis and shuffling them around.
	I mean, can you imagine?
	So you're at the Today Show.
	You're singing with Jennifer Hudson at the Super Bowl.
	I mean, then, to top it off, if you thought you couldn't get any higher on the showbiz ladder than the Super Bowl, you're on the red carpet with Ryan.
	I mean, my God.
	I mean, you have reached the pinnacle.
	This is shameful.
	It is shameful they should leave these kids alone.
	Teacher, leave these kids alone.
	That's what they should be singing.
	That's exactly what they should be singing.
	Alright, I've got two Euroland clips.
	One of them is another fantastic clip from the one and only...
	Nigel Farage.
	But first, a little look at what's going on in Gitmo Nation East and other parts of Europe as it comes to the Muslim patrols.
	Have you heard of the Muslim patrols, John?
	The Muslim patrols?
	No.
	Okay, so this is what was expected.
	Oh, let everyone just come on in.
	The Netherlands is not on this list, but they should be.
	There are now Muslim patrols in the streets of London and other places in Euroland telling people that this is a Muslim area and that you can't drink alcohol here or you can't wear a short skirt here.
	Get out!
	It's a Muslim area.
	We are the Sharia Law Muslim Patrol.
	Whitechapel in East London.
	A hardline vigilante group is trying to impose Sharia law on unsuspecting members of the public.
	Muslim era.
	Alcohol, bad.
	This is a Muslim era.
	It's not just drinkers being targeted.
	Yeah, you're a gay, mate.
	Get out of here, mate.
	Get out of here, you fag.
	You're a fag.
	Go away.
	It's a Muslim area.
	And women wearing skirts above the knee are also being harassed.
	I'm not dressed like that in Muslim area.
	Only a handful of men are involved in the self-styled patrols.
	Five have been arrested on suspicion of harassment, but we joined others who haven't been picked up by the police.
	These men claim they're simply tackling drunken behaviour where alcohol's already banned from the streets, but they do share many of the same hardline beliefs as those arrested.
	But Britain isn't the only country struggling to contain such behaviour.
	In Denmark, an Islamist from another so-called Muslim patrol stands menacingly outside a polling station vowing to stop Muslims voting.
	In Belgium, these extremists want existing Sharia courts, which handle family matters, to be expanded to cover criminal matters, including un-Islamic behaviour in Muslim areas.
	And in Lareda, Spain, hardline Salafist groups have angered locals by demanding pet dogs are banned from public transport and Muslim neighbourhoods.
	Several dogs have been poisoned.
	Leading British Muslims, like Baroness Varsi, have warned their communities need to integrate better into wider society to stop extremism.
	You know, this is another one of those things like we were talking about the other day with the freedom of the press and Euroland going down the tubes and you'll have to be a licensed journalist.
	This is actually happening.
	I mean, there are actual Muslim patrols out there telling people, hey, you're a fag.
	Get out.
	Get off the street.
	This is a Muslim area.
	This is not OK. All right.
	This is not OK. It really is not OK. And, you know, Belgium is really bad.
	It's just all this, okay, whatever.
	They're people too.
	We've got to get some more.
	Watch out.
	You think this can't happen in America?
	You get Muslim patrols?
	It can happen.
	It can happen.
	I don't know.
	Maybe.
	It looks like it could be a publicity grab for something or other.
	Ah, the new Muslim patrol movie with Tom Cruise?
	Check it out.
	Yeah, if we're lucky.
	So I thought the most interesting piece of news this week was this S&P incompetence suit.
	Yeah.
	Play the clip.
	Oh, you have a clip for it?
	Oh, lovely.
	Oh, this is great.
	Okay, hold on.
	Oh, hello.
	Financial system in 2008 to save it from collapse.
	A disaster Washington now blames Standard& Poor's for starting.
	Prior to the crisis, homebuyers were granted loans that were beyond their means, so-called subprimes.
	Those mortgages were packaged together into CDOs, financial instruments to be resold.
	Despite the risks, credit ratings agencies gave them AAA notes, a seal of approval that encouraged investors to buy them up.
	Built on those fragile foundations, when the bottom rungs collapsed, it dragged down the whole edifice.
	The ensuing crash, the worst the US has known since the Great Depression, as hundreds of thousands of people lost their homes.
	S&P's desire to ensure market share, to ensure profit, to ensure revenue, led it on a misguided venture to take securities it knew were led.
	And to tell the world through its ratings that they were gold.
	Risk-averse investors such as pension funds need ratings agency approval before they can invest.
	Faced with stiff competition, S&P is accused of gilding its evaluations to keep its financial clients happy.
	Allegations of a conflict of interest the rating agency rejects, saying that without the benefit of hindsight, its rivals were making the same conclusions.
	Yeah.
	I love it.
	This is bullcrap.
	Well, yeah.
	They've got to do something.
	So they're suing him for $5 billion.
	I mean, there was no...
	The guy says the S&P desires...
	It makes it sound as though they were actually...
	Oh, this is real garbage.
	Let's just give it a triple...
	That's bull crap.
	There's no way that these guys...
	Most people, if you remember when the collapse first happened and they talked about this situation, they said they didn't understand these vehicles.
	They were like on...
	There were huge, thick piles of paper...
	I bought a couple of things similar to these, and it's like a three-inch binder full of material you have to read through.
	You bought one of these?
	You bought a mortgage-backed security?
	No, no.
	I bought an exchange-traded note.
	Not an exchange-traded fund, but if you buy an ETN, which are very hard to come by, but they're around, they have to give you this document that explains what it is you're buying.
	It's ridiculous.
	It would take me months and months to read this thing.
	How did you do on it?
	These guys were just giving briefings on these great packages that were packaged up.
	And they honestly believed, I don't know who was playing the game on them, but they weren't being insincere by giving these high ratings.
	They weren't trying to cheat anybody.
	They were just being buffaloed, like everybody else, apparently.
	Well, they're the same guys.
	So what makes them bad guys?
	What about the bankers who put these deals together and sent these things off into the Netherlands and the bankers who went to S&P and talked them into giving them these high ratings?
	What about all those bankers?
	There's not a banker in the world that's even been indicted for anything, yet they're fining these guys $5 billion?
	No banker gets accused of anything?
	Are you kidding me?
	I take it you lost money on this instrument?
	No.
	That's why you're so angry?
	I lost money on the mortgage, on the collapse of the housing market.
	I was headed to retirement with all the property I have, and it all got cut down to nothing.
	I think I lost 40% on everything.
	Wait a minute.
	You were on your way to retirement with all the property you had, and so you're now on Social Security, $3,000 a month eating cat food?
	In Florida?
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	I'm just saying.
	Things were going well.
	We were bouncing along.
	Things were awesome.
	And then boom.
	Well, Matt Taibbi is working on another one of those stories, which I think is valid.
	Actually, I got some airtime on PBS. You're working on a story right now to come out in a couple of weeks on the HSBC settlement.
	Tell me about that.
	Why it interests you.
	Well, the HSBC settlement was a really shocking kind of new low in the history of the too big to fail issue.
	HSBC was a serial offender on the money laundering score.
	They had been twice given formal cease and desist orders by the government, one dating back as far as 2003, another one in 2010, for inadequately policing the accounts in their system.
	They laundered over $800 million for cartels in Colombia, drug cartels in Colombia and Mexico.
	They laundered money for terrorist-connected banks in the Middle East, Russian gangsters, literally.
	You know, I talked to one prosecutor, they broke basically every law in the book, and they did business with every kind of criminal you can possibly imagine, and they got a complete and total walk.
	I mean, they had to pay a fine, $1.9 billion, a lot of money.
	It's a lot of money, but it's five weeks of revenue for the bank to put that in perspective, and no individual had to suffer any consequences at all.
	There were no criminal charges, no individual fines, which was incredible, incredible.
	Larry Brewer also forced the Swiss bank UBS, as you know, to pay a big fine in the LIBOR, the price-fixing conspiracy, and that outraged you as well, didn't it?
	Larry Brewer, by the way, left.
	Did you see that he left the Department of Justice?
	Yeah, I thought that was interesting.
	He just left and no one said anything.
	It's like, oh, whatever, he just left.
	So when you have this, when you have this rampant illegality happening and corruption and laundering drug money and Russian gangster money and hooker money and God knows what, drug money...
	What you gotta do is you gotta sue S&P and make them look like a-holes.
	That's what you do.
	You go, oh, we're on the ball.
	We're suing those guys who started this little mess.
	Yeah, and they blame them for the whole thing.
	Yeah.
	They actually blame them.
	If you miss a holder comes out, they blamed them.
	Yeah.
	It was S&P's fault.
	Yeah.
	Awesome.
	And, um...
	This is just out in...
	This is great.
	So, you know, if you ask people during the healthcare debate, you know, it's like, what should we have?
	What would people always say?
	They say, you know, in the UK, we need universal healthcare, like, free, and it's awesome.
	Right?
	Right.
	Well, Prime Minister Cameron has had to apologize for For this report that came out, an atrocious report about the NHS, the National Health System, which details how many people die a month from neglect,
	that people are sitting in their own feces and their shit, and no one is cleaning them for days, that people need pain medication, and they're just left in pain.
	Cringing, crumbling in pain because the staff just can't be bothered.
	And he's like, oh, the NHS is failing.
	And so what we're going to do now is because of this, we're going to target nurses' pay.
	That's how we're going to fix it.
	So you don't get paid by seniority, but by quality of care.
	Face it.
	When the government runs...
	Whoever writes the best logs...
	Yes.
	Good logs, exactly.
	Face it.
	Whenever the government runs something, it sucks.
	It just sucks.
	You know, it's a government.
	It's what happens.
	People get...
	The report is about complacency.
	But it's nasty when you read this report.
	It makes your stomach churn.
	People left in their own feces for days.
	And then you get all the superbugs and everything.
	But of course, there's a union involved.
	It's just, it's crazy.
	So, I got a couple, you're getting near the end here.
	Yeah, we are.
	I do have a new segment of the show I'd like to do.
	Oh, okay.
	Just kind of maybe replace the Ask Adam bit, which failed.
	Well, it failed because you never had a good question.
	Yeah, well, that could be it.
	I got another one, though.
	I got, for Adam, another, it's like Adam, but it's called Guess the Movie.
	Okay.
	Oh, I like this.
	You have to guess the movie.
	I'm really bad at this.
	I don't know any movies.
	This is why I dreamed this up, because you were bragging about all these movies you get to see.
	No, no, that's not true.
	Oh, I get to see all the screeners.
	Oh, I can't send you the screeners.
	You're a peon.
	You can't see.
	No, I didn't say I could.
	I was sending you the screeners.
	Mickey's afraid she'll get busted for, like, the SAG thing.
	They'll kick her out of the Union or whatever.
	That's a slave.
	Yeah.
	She's a good-looking one.
	Well, a lot of them were.
	Alright, guess the movie.
	Guess the movie.
	Come on, guess.
	Is this a current movie?
	Or do I get any help?
	No, there's always going to be movies, semi-historic movies.
	They're not going to be like a movie that just came out.
	Because you probably wouldn't see it yet.
	Okay, so this is a...
	There's enough information in here for you to guess the movie.
	Alright, hold on a second.
	It's time for Adam to guess the movie!
	My colleagues in Argentina and Ontario have almost identical data.
	It's so hot here, we've had to seal off the mine.
	You double-checked the numbers?
	I triple-checked, my friend.
	I wish we were wrong, but we're not.
	The Earth's crust is destabilizing.
	It's too early.
	Hey, Jin.
	You have to begin the evacuation.
	My God.
	All our scientific advances.
	Our fancy machines the Mayans saw this coming thousands of years ago.
	Oh, wow.
	Well, there was some Indian dude in there, which was very...
	Ah, you can't guess.
	2012.
	The movie 2012.
	That was exactly what I was going to say!
	How soon they forget the movie 2012 came out when the world was supposed to end last, a couple months ago, and now we've completely forgotten about it.
	The people who...
	Did that stupid movie, weren't being ridiculed.
	The idiots that had all these conventions in San Francisco, believe me, we went past one of them once.
	I snuck in to just hang out with the people.
	The 2012 is going to end the world group.
	Maniacs.
	You know what's funny?
	The chat room was being helpful by suggestions such as Caddyshack 2.
	At least they're good for a laugh.
	Wow.
	Well, I like the segment.
	In future, I would like you to give me a time, a little bit of time to...
	I'll set up a...
	No, you don't...
	Yeah, do you have a metronome?
	That's kind of cool.
	Yeah.
	Let me just run through my notes here.
	Reports are that Janet Lucy Napolitano might be considering a run for the 2016 presidency.
	Oh, let's...
	We have to encourage this.
	I think so, too.
	I think we should actually have vote Lucy.
	Vote Lucy.
	Lucy for 2016.
	And she's powerful, make no mistake.
	This is a very powerful woman.
	More ways than one.
	Yes.
	I took the words out of my mouth.
	I bet you she has huge backing.
	I'm just handing you the jokes, by the way.
	I'm just laying them out for you.
	But could you imagine Napolitano versus Clinton in 2016?
	Because she would run Republican, I think.
	No, she wouldn't.
	Yes, she would.
	She was never a Republican.
	She was a Democratic governor.
	I think she could switch.
	Well, she probably does.
	So you think she would run in the primaries against Hillary?
	Could you imagine that ticket?
	That one was over your head.
	Yeah.
	I'd love to see the primaries of her versus Hillary.
	It's not going to happen.
	Somebody else is going to come up to her.
	Hey, Lucy.
	Lucy.
	You're not running.
	Really?
	Nuss said.
	Hmm.
	California law, as predicted, have introduced the gun liability insurance bill.
	As I predicted on this very podcast...
	Where in order to own a handgun, or a gun, not a handgun, you would have to have insurance.
	Well, we saw that coming, didn't we?
	And...
	They'll probably vote it in, too, this crazy California state legislature.
	They're idiots.
	Yeah, you betcha.
	You betcha.
	Seems like a good idea.
	Hey, I mean, cars kill people, too.
	I mean, it fits so into the argument...
	Yeah, and meanwhile, every gangbanger in Oakland, none of them will have the insurance.
	Uninsured shooter.
	That'll be a new moniker.
	Undocumented American and uninsured shooter.
	Yeah, uninsured shooter.
	No, it should be uninsured weapon owner or something, not shooter.
	Uh...
	Uninsured.
	Uninsured weapons owner.
	That would be good.
	Yeah, that's possible.
	It's possible.
	The UWO. Yeah.
	Well, if you're stalling for time, I've got a couple of Don Lemon tips I want to get out of the way.
	I mean, I still have the Farage clip, which I know you want to hear, but Don Lemon is close second to Nigel Farage.
	What do you got?
	Pay part one.
	Screwy Don Lemon.
	Don Lemon, this is a very weird report, and Don Lemon is flabbergasted by it.
	I'm sure wives and girlfriends love, love, love it when their man does some work around the house.
	But guys, here's a warning for you.
	It matters what you do around the house.
	If you do dishes, if you vacuum, if you do some light dusting, it may mean less loving from the lady.
	So there's your warning.
	Jeff Gardier is here, and he's a clinical psychologist.
	So wait a minute, Jeff.
	Guys who help out around the house get essentially punished in the bedroom?
	Yeah, it turns out a new study by the Center for Advanced Studies out of Madrid, using some data from a survey that was done back in 1999, are saying that gender-specific uh...
	relationships where the guys are doing more of the sort of men work such as paying bills, yard work, maybe changing the oil.
	These guys are getting more intimacy from their wives than the guys who are doing things as you pointed out such as vacuuming, doing the laundry, perhaps even doing the cooking.
	And he doesn't understand what's going on here?
	No, you play the part too.
	Yeah, no, he's completely like, because this is not what he's been taught.
	And Lemon is not, you know, he's a weird guy anyway.
	Well, I'm not going to say what I wanted to say until I hear the second part of this clip.
	Yeah, play the second part and then you can give your opinion.
	Why is it that doing certain chores around the house, why would it affect a couple's sex life?
	Is it because, I don't know, if you go out and you mow the lawn and your lady comes home and you're doing the lawn with your shirt off, that's sexier than doing the laundry?
	I don't know.
	Why is that?
	Well, perhaps.
	Maybe it's the testosterone that may be setting the ladies off a little bit.
	I figured this one out, Don.
	I think what's going on, the ladies are saying, you know what, we can cover the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry.
	We do that better than you guys because you guys are inept at doing it anyway.
	So what we'd like for you to do is the heavy lifting.
	We'd like for you to...
	Pay the bills.
	And so we will reinforce your behavior, get you to do the stuff that we don't really feel like doing by exchanging the intimacy.
	So it's a perfect conditioning or operant conditioning by giving them positive reinforcement for doing the things that they want them to do.
	But Jeff, this is 2013, I thought, I mean, not 1950.
	I thought we were supposed to bust out of those gender assignment, out of those roles as society evolved.
	There it is.
	This is 2013.
	I thought we were supposed to bust out of these general assignment roles.
	What up with that, sister?
	Don Lemon?
	No, no, I get to talk now because you just wasted two minutes of my life.
	Don Lemon needs to, first of all, disclaim that he's a homosexual.
	When he does this, he says, I have a different view on life than this.
	This whole report shouldn't have been on television.
	The whole thing is stupid.
	Here's the kicker to the whole thing.
	This was done in Spain.
	What's it got to do with Americans?
	Their culture is totally alien to American culture when it comes to this sort of thing.
	It's like comparing the Mexican culture to the American culture straight up.
	We had this whole conversation yesterday with Jamaican and Austin.
	He's from Jamaica.
	And, you know, we were talking about the difference between culture and...
	And that's not the right word.
	You know, your cultural background and racial culture.
	I guess it's kind of a way to say it.
	I'm not quite sure what words to put on it.
	But, you know, the whole idea of...
	Saying, well, Mexicans are different than Caucasians.
	Black people are different than Caucasians.
	But Jamaicans are different kinds of black people.
	The whole thing is like, when can we finally accept that everybody's different?
	I'm a white guy.
	Middle-aged white guy.
	You're a middle-aged white guy.
	We are not the same.
	We do not hang outside of this show.
	In fact, if we were the same, this show would suck.
	So, you know, this whole, like, putting people and sexes...
	No, this is another attempt.
	This is a piece of propaganda.
	You bitched about it.
	But the fact is, it's a piece of propaganda trying to make everybody the same, one happy world, so we can get to the UN and the One World Order and all the bullcrap.
	Trilateral commission.
	Culture creationism. Culture creationism. Culture creationism. Culture creationism.
	And so every time one of these reports comes out, as boring as you think they are, I think they're extremely important to listen to because they show you this subtle propaganda that is going on at a very funny level that has more impact than our show.
	to be quite frank about it.
	No, no.
	You are, in fact, entirely correct.
	It is very important to highlight this because this is dangerous.
	This is like the Muslim patrols.
	There's no worse.
	But when you inject this into the culture, man, oh man.
	Okay, so end of show.
	I just want to play the Farage clip, and then I want to come back just so we can briefly laugh about how right he is.
	I see that Brennan, whose face is mushed up, by the way.
	He's not a handsome man, this Brennan.
	He looks like...
	You know like if you ever see like a cast iron sculpture of someone's face and then you look up close?
	Yeah, he looks as if he has been shot with birdshot.
	Put together or he's an alien.
	That's the best they can do his whole model.
	He's been assembled.
	It's been assembled.
	It's an old model.
	Some assembly required.
	I guarantee you, drink every single time someone talks about the movie Zero Dark Thirty.
	Because you know that they're completely creating this truth and reality based upon the movies.
	And it's just, it's absurd is what it is.
	So, it's okay because that's why we're here.
	Our job is to punch through that and hit people right smack in the face with what is really going on.
	That's why we are the best podcast in the universe.
	Someone else who does that in the European Parliament continuously with a very good two-minute speech is Nigel Farage.
	President Hollande, despite your own view...
	I should mention, the President of France, Hollande, was visiting in the European Parliament, so he is actually hitting the President of France in the mouth.
	President Hollande, despite your own views, you're doing rather a lot for the Eurosceptic debate in France.
	The decision to reduce the retirement age, to increase the minimum wage, but above all, of course, the hate tax.
	To make sure that all your successful entrepreneurs, and now footballers, are fleeing France, means that the competitiveness gap between France and Germany is getting wider.
	That is now being reflected in a flight of capital from French banks.
	And people are beginning to notice that actually, ultimately, the Euro is not just doomed in the Mediterranean, but it's going to be impossible for France and Germany to stay together inside the same economic and monetary union.
	So, on the basis that your employment minister says the country is bankrupt, what do you do?
	Well, the old trick, launch a foreign military intervention.
	So your troops go off to Mali, and yes, it's very good to see the smiling faces in Timbuktu for the moment, but you've done this on behalf of the European Union.
	It is now an EU mission.
	Just two days ago, Tony Blair said, the European Union is not about peace, the European Union is about power.
	I think what he meant is the European Union increasingly will be about war.
	Because the response to Mali, the response to it being an EU mission, and we've heard it all around the chamber today, the Liberals urging us to intervene militarily in Syria.
	Support from right and left in this House that the EU should intervene militarily.
	I have to say this.
	If you really think that taking on fundamentalist, radical Islam in battle is something that we can somehow succeed in, I suspect we will launch ourselves in the same way we have in Afghanistan on a decade of unending, unwinnable misery.
	I do not want the United Kingdom to be part of a militaristic, warlike European Union.
	And that's the speech that I've heard both from you, President Alain, and from most people in this chamber today.
	There you go.
	World War III in Europe.
	France versus Germany.
	Huh.
	Wow.
	That's a weird idea.
	Now, it could never happen.
	It could never, ever happen.
	They haven't resolved their differences since World War, before World War I. Before then, they were having these problems.
	This is never going to end.
	We're just going to be doomed to watch these two countries fight with each other, literally fight.
	I don't think they're either going to nuke each other, but every time they go to fight each other, something strange drags us into it.
	Yeah, well, no, that's the whole system, is then we have to go and we have to end it, and then all the money shifts hands, and essentially we rock, because we do, because we make all the killing stuff.
	That gets bought, everything's great, and then we have to come in and go, hey, bitches, we take care of you, and then we rebuild Europe again.
	We start all over again.
	2017, was that when the Civil War will end in Europe?
	No, it begins in 2020.
	Oh, we got some time.
	We got plenty of time.
	We got seven years.
	So what have we learned today?
	We have learned we have seven years until the war in Europe starts.
	And we have until October to short the bond market.
	Yeah.
	Meanwhile, I'm starting...
	The war actually may begin earlier.
	I mean, it's just 2020 is when we get involved.
	Oh, okay.
	So 2017.
	Punching it out in 2019, for all we know.
	I think 2017.
	It's begun now, as far as I can tell.
	Meanwhile, I will be starting a new business when we move into town.
	I have a new business idea.
	Dutch Bikes in Austin.
	For some reason...
	In America, in general, someone decided that bicycles could only be one of two kinds.
	10-speed racing bicycles or mountain bicycles.
	What happened to the utility bicycle?
	Yeah, the regular cheap bike you used to have when you were a kid.
	Well, not just that, but one that has a basket.
	Yeah, with a basket in front.
	Yeah, a utility bicycle.
	What happened to this concept?
	I checked every single bicycle store in Austin.
	I go around here where there's all these bike lanes, and there's nobody using the bicycle like that to go to the store.
	No, they got their Speedos on, and they got a high-speed bike, and they're pumping away.
	Up and down and up and down.
	They're not doing anything.
	It's exercise.
	You might as well be on a stationary bike if you're just going to exercise in the bike lane.
	When you're in Holland, people are going from point A to point B. They're not exercising.
	They're not demanding a bike lane so I can exercise in the bike lane.
	No.
	And Austinites, they ride bikes a lot.
	I think you've stumbled onto something.
	You've stumbled onto the fraud of bicycling.
	Yeah, but what happened?
	I mean, if they were just...
	Yeah, fixies.
	That's what they're called.
	They're called fixies.
	But you just need to...
	I mean, I think people would really take to it.
	We're going to be living right near South Congress.
	It's a little too far to walk, but we drove from the new house to South Congress to get some lunch.
	I'm like, this is stupid.
	I mean, I've taken more time to park, then you have to diagonal park back into the parking spots on South Congress, which is kind of cool, but it's a pain in the ass.
	No, it's not cool.
	And, you know, but it's like, I just want a bike, and then I'm looking around.
	The only reason they have those types of things is to make sure people have their front license plate.
	It's a scam.
	I don't have a front license plate, and I've never gotten a ticket.
	Well, you're probably going to get a ticket.
	No, I'm not going to get a ticket.
	So I want a bike.
	Do you want a bike cost?
	You can't get a bike.
	You want to buy a bike?
	It's like a mountain bike or a 10-speed bike.
	$900 for a freaking bike.
	Which will get stolen.
	No, maybe, maybe not.
	No one will steal the bike you're talking about.
	But in Amsterdam, I can just go to the central station and just like some junk will sell me a bike for 10 euros, you know, and then that'll get stolen and I'll buy another one.
	This is a rotating system.
	But just a utility bicycle where you can put your briefcase in if you're going to the office.
	You know, Austin is a great, it's flat.
	Generally flat.
	We have lots of room to ride your bike.
	People ride bikes, but they're stupid.
	You've got no fenders.
	If it rains and you get wet, because the fenders, you have to put a light on your arm.
	What happened to a light on the bicycle?
	This is stupid.
	We need a reset.
	When I was a kid, we had bikes that had lights.
	I'm telling you.
	And we'd make noise with playing cards in the spokes.
	And you could put your girlfriend on the back of the bike and...
	She can be riding with you.
	Yeah.
	It's cute.
	Or on the front.
	On the handlebars.
	When I was a kid, yeah, I had my girlfriend riding on the handlebars.
	There were songs about this.
	Hold on.
	There were songs about it.
	There's a law against it now.
	There were songs.
	Let me see.
	I've got to find this song now.
	It had a bike.
	It had fenders.
	You're laughing at me.
	And it had one speed.
	I think this is a business.
	I think there's a business in...
	You pop it to one speed.
	In...
	What is it called?
	Fixie?
	Fixie Bikes.
	The Alessi Brothers.
	Oh, Laurie, I'd like to ride my bicycle with you on the handlebars.
	You laugh and run away, do I? I mean, come on!
	There's songs about this stuff.
	No!
	You can't ride on the front of your 10-speed bike on the handlebars.
	You can't put a helmet on.
	Yeah, and we don't need helmets in Austin, even better.
	Don't need helmets.
	Stupid.
	You look like the doofus with your helmet on.
	Like you're going so fast.
	Alright.
	Alright, an update on that tomorrow.
	I only need $50,000 to get started.
	Well, you're not going to get it with these donations.
	For inventory.
	Alright, everybody.
	Thank you very much.
	Hi, everybody.
	In the morning, coming to you from Gitmo Nation, Drone Star State, here in Austin, Tejas, home of the utility bike, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where the only bikes are 15-speed...
	Titanium, unbelievable bikes, and everyone dresses in Speedos and pretends that they're a racer.
	That's the kind of bikes we got around here.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.
	We'll talk to you again on Sunday right here on No Agenda.
	This is a message from Amtrak.
	Keep your luggage with you at all times.
	Today, Viper team specialists from Homeland Security will be aboard this California Daylight Express train to Sacramento.
	They will be conducting a test of passenger obedience.
	This is only a test, but you are required to obey all orders and may be frisked, patted down, strip searched, x-rayed, or tasered as part of this terrorist drill.
	Do not ask questions, just do as you are told.
	All women on board this train will be obliged to suck the cock of any Viper Team officer if so requested.
	Men may have to submit to buggery.
	Welcome to Amtrak.
	Have a safe journey.
	It's almost too delicious to believe, my friend.

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