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April 28, 2011 - No Agenda

02:19:16

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Time	Text
	I've seen the picture of the hole on TV. Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	It's Thursday, April 28th, 2011.
	Time for your Gitmo Nation Media Assassination Episode 2, Niner Niner.
	This is no agenda.
	Preparing to duck and comer for the EQ machine drills here at the Hilltop Watchtower Crackpot Command Center at Gitmo Nation West in the People's Republic of Southern California.
	In the morning, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from Northern Silicon Valley, plain and simple, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	In the morning to you, Joe.
	In the morning to you.
	I am still sick.
	I'm sorry?
	I'm still sick.
	Oh, yeah.
	What happened?
	I don't know.
	This is now day seven of this viral infection.
	And, see, Sunday was really bad, of course.
	But throughout the week, man, it's just like, you know, it's like I get like two hours of energy.
	And then I, and then, you know, literally, and Mickey, too.
	Today, she's really bad today.
	And you just fall down.
	You got like no energy.
	And then you have to sleep.
	Do you know, I can best explain it, it's kind of like being hung over all day long.
	Or actually, I have a more accurate description.
	Have you ever done DMT, John?
	DMT, dimethyltryptamine?
	Yeah.
	No, I don't do drugs.
	No, I've done it twice in my life.
	And if anyone's ever done that, for like three days after, you have this kind of like, which is a good reason not to do it, by the way.
	You have like this complete downer, stoned feeling.
	And that's what it is, like 24-7.
	It's just, it's unbelievable.
	In the morning, we get up and we, you know, like, ugh.
	And I have night sweats and it's just, it's bad.
	It's really, really bad.
	I think I'm running at like 65% energy level right now.
	It just sucks.
	Well, at least it's mimicked by the Skype connection, which gives you about a 65% throughput.
	Really?
	I'm hearing you great.
	Well, good.
	That's fine, and I'm not going to change anything.
	Well, I don't want you to have problems hearing me.
	No, I can hear you, but it's like...
	Do you ever gargle?
	Why, yes, just moments ago I was gargling.
	It sounds like you still are.
	Yes, oh, okay, I'm sorry.
	It's okay, I can understand you, it's just that it's not like crystal clear like I would hope.
	You sure you don't have something running there, like you're picturing porn upload or something?
	No, nothing's going on.
	Okay, alright, we'll get through it.
	Before we got started here, I wanted to kind of apologize to the audience for some of the lunatic material that we produce in advance.
	I want to apologize in advance.
	And I want to specifically discuss the fact that, for example, we have this kind of...
	I don't know, maybe we're just joking around this underlying theory about how Afghanistan is a...
	Kind of a stronghold for the poppy distributions that may involve perhaps the CIA and the military.
	But, you know, to be honest about it, for anything like that to actually happen, you'd have to have like, you know, the CIA and perhaps the Defense Department.
	They had to be working together or something, right?
	They had to be working together.
	So you'd have to have things like the head of the CIA. Although, you know, Bill Gates.
	Yeah, Bill Gates.
	He was a CIA guy, which, you know, kind of fits into this picture.
	But they can't keep...
	That's just a coincidence.
	I mean, you'd have to move a CIA guy to the Defense Department.
	And then you'd have to, like, move a military guy that really knew what was going on in Afghanistan and move him to the CIA, which seems impossible.
	The only way you could do that is if you had...
	These huge distractions.
	You'd have to have the public, the lame-brained public would have to be all shunted off to some stupid, you know, event that no American should really care about.
	Now, hold on a second.
	Let me just reiterate here for a second.
	So what you're saying is the stuff that we've been talking about on this show, which would, of course, actually for years now, this is our fourth year, which would involve for years, which would involve the CIA and the military industrial complex actually in collusion together.
	And you'd have to put like some ex-military guy into the CIA.
	And it's not like we've ever been talking about this.
	And what you're saying is that should someone want to have this take place, you'd have to distract the public.
	Yeah, and you'd have to distract the politicos with something.
	You'd have to, like, for example, if you wanted to talk about politics, you'd have to have, like, one of the stupidest issues.
	What could we come up with to do that?
	Well, you know, if it was me, I would find some guy who's, like, a very famous reality show host.
	Right.
	And I would have him, like, run for president, just as a joke, and have him bring up this old bromide about the birth certificate of Obama, and just let all the talk shows, from O'Reilly to Rachel Maddow, on both sides of the fence, all they talk about is this issue.
	Right, right, right, okay.
	That's a distraction.
	Right.
	And the other distraction would be to find some stupid event that Americans should care less about.
	But that gets rammed down our throats so we actually do care about it, you mean?
	Yeah, so you'd have to have all the entertainment shows, Today Show, the Good Morning America, all these shows that are on the TV. In fact, I'd even say that even if you had like Ben Bernanke doing his first press conference, if you were like CNN, you wouldn't be doing that.
	You'd be paying attention to this other distraction.
	That's how good it would be.
	Exactly.
	And the likelihood of all these, this is like a perfect storm.
	It's never going to happen.
	No, never going to happen.
	Is this my cue?
	I don't know.
	I just ran out of steam right there.
	You're watching Central Coast ABC. Hey, I'm Mario Lopez.
	Kate Middleton's wedding nightmare about to come true.
	Extra!
	Extra! The unforgettable moment.
	I mean, that's just cheap.
	The Royal Wedding on CNN, Friday.
	Starts live at 4 a.m.
	Eastern.
	As for me, I wasn't going cheap.
	New picks.
	Kate today bracing for a wedding disaster.
	The bad news she just got about her dream day and the elaborate security secret.
	I've got secret details.
	Robin, I wanted something timeless.
	All right.
	Commemorative clock to commemorate the marriage of Prince William and Catherine.
	CNN tomorrow night at 10.
	Oh, here's an idea.
	Bunting.
	Because who really doesn't love some royal bunting?
	Anderson Cooper, live in London for the royal wedding.
	The stories, the celebration.
	I believe it's worse.
	AC 360.
	See you then tomorrow night, Tenney Square in London with some breaking royal news.
	Tara, you discovered a new member of the royal family?
	Yeah, Mario, before I landed in London, I flew to Vegas to catch up with the long, long, long lost relative of Kate Middleton, Ellen DeGeneres.
	London on lockdown, 1900 VIP guests invading England for Will and Kate's royal wedding.
	But one special family member will be missing.
	Everyone knows that Kate is my cousin.
	Yes, Cousin Kate.
	Ellen telling Terry she discovered through a genealogical society that they're actually related.
	We're 15 cousins.
	15 cousins?
	Yeah.
	It's not like we're distant cousins, like 20 or something.
	I hear them dancing inside.
	Off with their heads!
	The royal wedding beheading.
	What the queen wants, she gets.
	Too good for me.
	Thank you so much.
	I love all the presents and I love your coverage.
	You guys are doing a great job.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Anything else would sound like that?
	We didn't wear pinstripes.
	I haven't decided yet.
	I've got the socks.
	We've got to make sure the socks match.
	God, I'm so glad I'm a guy.
	So glad I'm a guy.
	Alright, that's it for us here in Hollywood.
	And that's it from here in London, Lara.
	We'll see you right back here on the Insider tomorrow.
	Good night, everybody.
	from England.
	Say cheese.
	Dramatic music Nothing to see here.
	Ooh, look at that!
	Yeah.
	And you know, John, good work, by the way.
	Nice little...
	That took an hour.
	So you have, like...
	Have you ever heard a teaser in your life?
	A network of any sort of teaser that goes...
	4 a.m.
	Yes, coming up at 4 a.m., you want to wake up with NBC here on Boise.
	Live at 4 a.m.
	Live at 4 a.m.
	from London, everybody.
	It's going to be great.
	Get up and be distracted.
	It's funny because the president, of course, contributed to this in a beautiful way.
	And, of course, we know now that the perfect way to get someone to do something is to tell them not to do it.
	And I think as parents, we already know this, John.
	So El Presidente came out, and I'm happy I have this clip because I don't know if any of the five minutes that the President addressed his birth certificate were actually aired anywhere because of, you know, of course, the royal wedding.
	It's important.
	But the words that he was using just blew me away.
	And I'm confident that the American people and America's political leaders can come together In a bipartisan way and solve these problems.
	We always have.
	But we're not going to be able to do it if we are distracted.
	Like, really?
	Isn't that the whole point?
	Is to distract the slaves?
	And he doesn't do it once, he does it twice.
	And by the way, beautiful wording towards Herr Trump here.
	We're not going to be able to do it if we spend time vilifying each other.
	Uh-huh.
	We're not going to be able to do it if we just make stuff up.
	What are you talking about?
	That's the whole point.
	That's what the press does, make stuff up.
	When you hear the president come out and say this, it's like, you know that he's like, please go make stuff up.
	This is what you're supposed to be doing.
	He's giving the press their marching orders.
	And pretend that facts are not facts.
	Hold on a second.
	Facts are facts.
	We're not going to be able to solve our problems if we get distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers.
	That's what we're supposed to be.
	We're supposed to be sidetracked by sideshows and carnival barkers and be distracted.
	It's beautiful the way he said that.
	And of course, for him to do this, he's fanning the flames.
	I mean, duh.
	So what happens immediately when this takes place is everyone's like, oh, it has layers in it, and it's fake, and, you know, it's like, ugh.
	It's purposeful.
	Completely purposeful.
	Unless you read it some other way.
	I don't know.
	That's weird.
	I will tell you this, though.
	Three things I noticed about the birth certificate.
	Um...
	Layers, no layers, whatever.
	And it's kind of irrelevant.
	But here's the only things that I've...
	Because of course I had to research.
	This is my job.
	This is what I do.
	Even from my deathbed.
	So his father, Barack Obama, listed his father on the birth certificate.
	Country of origin, Kenya.
	Unfortunately, in 1961, Kenya was still known as the British East Africa.
	It didn't become Kenya until 1963.
	Are you sure?
	Yes, I looked it up.
	It was the British East Africa Protectorate.
	Furthermore, in 1961, the hospital, which is named on the birth certificate, is the Kapiolani Maternity and Gynecological Hospital.
	In 1961, it was actually called the Kua Kualani Children's Hospital.
	It didn't change its name until it merged with the Kapiolani Maternity and Gynecological Hospital in 1978.
	So, minor discrepancy there.
	I don't know what to say other than, whoops.
	Thank you very much for starting it all over again.
	But the best one, and here's the true clue, is, so he was born on, was it August 4th?
	1961.
	So the birth certificate was signed August 8th, 1961.
	Of course, if you add the numbers together, 881961, what's the total, John?
	What?
	33.
	Hot Pockets!
	You know, they're just messing with me.
	They're just like, hey, Curry, grab this one.
	They're just messing with you right there.
	Well, there you have it.
	I just got the whole thing in a nutshell.
	I can't help myself.
	It's just that good.
	It's just that good.
	Yeah, you know, I looked at that.
	I didn't get to go over that because I didn't find a copy because I was working on this three-minute clip show that I just played.
	But none of this surprises me because I just had the sense that there was something sketchy about this thing all of a sudden appearing.
	The question, if you listen to the pundits, they keep bringing this up and nobody really has an answer for it.
	Why didn't he bring it out earlier then?
	Why didn't he bring it out earlier then?
	No, I'll tell you, because I looked into that.
	So there was a pre-briefing, and the pre-briefing, there are notes of this, and you can read through it.
	So they gave the White House press corps, and none of this ever shows up, which is a shame, because they have the information.
	Of course, I don't have it, because I'm not invited to sit there, nor would I be allowed in.
	So what happened is they had the assistant to the attorney general flew to Honolulu, Or to Hawaii after the president wrote a personal memo, a request which was drafted by his personal attorney.
	Because apparently in the state of Hawaii and other states, they will not give a copy of the original birth certificate.
	That's been law since like 1980 or something.
	And you have to request it and you can't just like get that for some reason.
	And that to me is much more interesting.
	Why is that?
	Why can't you just get a copy of the actual receipt of your birth?
	And the only thing I can come up with is because that is the actual collateral that the United States uses for all of these crazy loans were taken out.
	Remember, we're all worth $9.1 million at birth.
	That's like the ownership paper that the United States has.
	So if China ever says, hey, can we just see your collateral?
	That's when they have to show these records.
	That's why they don't hand them out.
	This is the actual collateral that the United States uses to borrow money against the human resources.
	Because we're slaves.
	You can put that part of it.
	You do this great deconstruction of the birth certificate.
	And then I come up with that.
	You come up with the second half of the show story.
	I'm ill, John.
	What can I tell you?
	But I thought that was kind of interesting to have those three little nuggets of information.
	Those are gems.
	Take it for what you want.
	In the weeks ahead, believe me, those gems will be going around like wildfire.
	Yeah, they'll surface, obviously.
	Yeah.
	I hope.
	Because that's what Trump, Trump's already hinted at it.
	Trump, here's the deal with Trump.
	This whole thing is scripted, let's face it.
	So Trump is on with, in fact, do I have the John King Trump thing on there?
	I'm not sure I sent that to you.
	Yes, Trump's last stand with John King.
	That's the one you want?
	Yeah, this is a John King on CNN gets together with Trump and he starts grilling him about that.
	And Trump pays no attention to what King has to say.
	It's actually kind of funny.
	But at one point he tries to get Trump to grab the copy of the birth certificate and Trump refuses to do it because he says he's going to have his people look at it.
	So you can just see Act Two is coming up.
	Of course, of course.
	But you might as well play this and we get this out of the way and we see how Trump treats this guy.
	...of the birther movement for him to release his long-form birth certificate.
	The president did that today in part at the instigation of Donald Trump, who keeps saying he's tired of talking about the issue even as he keeps talking about the issue.
	Tonight, John King called him on it.
	But you raised this, saying the President should release this.
	No, no, you raised this.
	No, I did not raise this.
	I didn't call a press conference in Palm Beach earlier this week.
	I haven't been on all these television shows.
	And every time I sit down with the press, all they want to talk about is the birth certificate.
	And I got him to do something that nobody else could get him to do.
	And I've been given great credit for that.
	And you raised this issue of his credibility, that if he has it, he should release it.
	Absolutely.
	There are some people who question yours in the middle of all this.
	The other night you went on Anderson Cooper, and you said your investigators told you it was missing, or it wasn't there.
	Excuse me.
	Excuse me.
	What was that based on?
	Excuse me.
	Very simple.
	I had people looking into it.
	Now I don't have to have the people.
	I can call them back.
	I hope.
	I mean, I haven't seen this, and I'm sure that a lot of experts will analyze it.
	Would you ever pay them?
	If serious people told you it was missing or not there, here it is.
	Would I pay them?
	I don't know.
	Maybe I'll let you negotiate for me.
	Some people think you just make that up, though.
	I can say this.
	Let me just tell you.
	I don't make up anything.
	Let me tell you something.
	I have done a great service to the American people.
	Let's bring in Andy Card, former chief of staff under President George W. Bush and Democratic strategist.
	He is such a patriot.
	And we should almost play the Gitmo National Anthem for him.
	He's such a fantastic patriot.
	But I gotta tell you, I gotta tell you, he's in there and he's in there for a reason.
	And he's in there to...
	It's like, you know, you need to have the two wrestlers.
	And you've got to have the guy in white.
	And that is what Trump is playing.
	And he's doing a really good job at it.
	And I wonder if he even himself realizes how manipulated he is.
	Because, you know, a guy is egomaniacal, and that's what we love about him.
	And, you know, he's...
	It's almost like the bigger the lie is, the less people will look at it.
	So when he comes out and he says, hey, you know, Libya, great, let's go in there, let's grab their oil.
	China, let's kick their ass.
	So he's actually kind of saying what is happening.
	Only, you know, it'll be much more deniable when people say, oh, you know, Trump is crazy and wants to kick the Chinese ass.
	But that, of course, is exactly what the policy is.
	So I think that he's in it, but I don't even know if he understands himself that he's in it.
	What do you think?
	Well, you might be right.
	I mean, I see the whole thing as a...
	I mean, first we have the Kate Middleton deal on one hand entertaining the masses.
	By the way, by the way, by the way, I'd tap that.
	And then on the other hand, yeah, good luck.
	And on the other hand, you have this form of entertainment.
	And by the way, when people go, oh, I think Trump this, Trump that, and this whole birth certificate thing, I just think it's one of the highest forms of political entertainment I have ever seen in my life.
	It is hilarious to watch.
	Yeah, it's great.
	I mean, I'm sick and Mickey's like, you know, have you had enough time to prep?
	I just have to do a Google search on Trump and I'll have half the show.
	It's just crazy.
	He's even on C-SPAN now.
	They put him on C-SPAN. Yeah.
	It's great.
	C-SPAN, by the way, was relatively boring in the past week because, of course, everyone's on vacation.
	So they run a lot of repeats.
	It's been a terrible week for news.
	Yeah, they run repeats.
	Coming back to your original point, though, I did find it rather interesting, this little ditty.
	This was two days before.
	And, of course, today is the announcement of the personnel changes, as they're called.
	Yeah.
	And the press, by the way, was not getting any answers at this pre-briefing for the birth certificate.
	And I read through the whole thing, and I do this as a service to the show.
	So the White House publishes the literal notes, as far as we know, of course.
	And it's not broadcast anywhere.
	And everyone's saying, hey, what about the personnel changes?
	They're like, no, we're not going to tell you.
	You'll hear tomorrow.
	And one of the guys actually said, that's BS, man.
	Everyone knows it.
	Everyone knows that this is happening.
	How come you're not briefing us?
	So the White House purposely held that back to distract everyone with the birth certificate announcement by the president.
	Now, George W. Bush...
	You know, George W. Obama's brother-in-arms, still the ruling family, I believe, was on the compromised ABC with his old buddy, George Stepanapolophilus.
	And here's what happened.
	Thank you, Mr.
	President.
	Just a couple other things breaking.
	This morning we just learned that the man you sent to Iraq to command the surge, General David Petraeus, is actually going to be coming back to Washington to run the CIA and Leon Panetta at the Pentagon.
	What's your reaction to that?
	You know, both of them are good men.
	I have the great respect for David Petraeus.
	I got to know him well.
	I also got to know Leon Panetta not as well as I did David, and both of them are good public servants.
	Is this gossip or truth?
	No, it's truth.
	We're reporting it this morning.
	It is done.
	It's being announced later this week.
	Well, just because you're reporting it, as you might recall...
	Just because you're reporting it doesn't mean it's true as you remember.
	Yeah.
	Remember when I told all that bullshit?
	Hey, George.
	And he's like, it's done.
	It's truth.
	It's fact.
	We're reporting it.
	That means it's true.
	Unbelievable.
	So, it's a strange thing because, you know, Gates was a Republican and Panetta is a rather famous Republican.
	In fact, he began, I think he was in California, he was the, he worked for...
	Yeah, he was a big wheel in California.
	Yeah, he's a big shot.
	And I think Reagan brought him over.
	And Petraeus is a military guy.
	I mean, it just seems rigged because you'd think Obama would be putting his Democrat friends into these positions.
	And no.
	Well...
	The one thing, of course, that is obviously just disconcerting, and actually, to use one of your words, abhorrent, is that we now actually have the CIA and the military-industrial complex completely combined.
	The CIA, of course, are the ones who are sending drones over Pakistan.
	And these drones, that's a good little chunk of change.
	I mean, this stuff is good.
	It works.
	It's making everybody money.
	And now it's just all one big cabal.
	So now we don't even have to be transparent.
	So, yeah, everyone's focusing on the defense budget.
	But do you know what the CIA's budget is?
	Do you have that anywhere, John?
	No.
	Nobody has it, and the fact is they even have all this extra, you know, if we go by our theory, which is they're also, you know, getting pin money, as it were, from...
	Pin money?
	Pin money.
	It's a word that when you have just a little extra cash to spend.
	Oh, it's like stuff in the cookie jar.
	That way you can just buy off everyone you can, from journalists to everyone in between, and you don't have to even account for it.
	You don't even care.
	What do you mean?
	Just go up and say, shut up, shut up, bitch, I'll shoot you.
	That's what the CIA does.
	You don't even need, you don't even, let's face it, you don't, if you, let's say that the theory that all this drug money is somehow being siphoned off as just pin money.
	Yeah, just to finance stuff.
	So you could just have like pockets full of cash.
	You don't have to do any bookkeeping.
	You just throw it around like crazy.
	Where's our donations from these guys?
	I don't get it.
	Really?
	For all we know, a lot of it is from the CIA. Hey, keep it going.
	Keep them all distracted over there thinking they're right.
	No, but it's just amazing.
	And you're right.
	So we have these huge distractions and no one is actually reporting on the news.
	On the actual news.
	I do have a clip from Ben Bernanke which just cracked me up.
	Should we thank some people here?
	Because we've got the 300 Club coming up.
	We're coming up on show 300.
	We want to make a point of this.
	And we have our promotion for the 300 Club.
	And we have a number of people that joined up to get credit as executive producer for both this show 299 and show 300.
	It's a double shot of executive producership is what it is.
	Yeah, and of course, show 300 itself is going to have a slew of producers because everyone who's a member of the 300 Club is a producer of the 300 Club.
	And they've been donating for weeks now for this program.
	Which is on Sunday, so we want to remind anybody this is your chance to get in on this.
	And let's just name the people that are the executive producers for today's show and 300 Club members.
	Matthew Stroh, who's got nothing to say, he says.
	No, nothing to see here, he says.
	Nothing to see here.
	Nothing to see here.
	Right.
	Victor Gregg in Atlanta, Georgia.
	He also wants to be an executive producer.
	Yeah, he is.
	He's on show 299 and 300.
	Long time listener.
	True Night.
	Future Night, I'm sorry, who'd love to see a third weekly show.
	Maybe you can start a club for contributors to do that.
	Blue Jewels, Arlington.
	Notice I glossed that over.
	Blue Jewels, Arlington, Virginia in the morning.
	Hope you're feeling better.
	He's not.
	I recently sent an episode 300 donation by mail and wanted to introduce myself so you have some context.
	Oh, he wants to remain anonymous.
	Thank you very much, Eric.
	AJ Tissier.
	Is it Tissier?
	Yeah.
	Normal, Illinois.
	He's donated before.
	I love that town, by the way.
	Angelique Overbeak and Adam.
	Hold on a second.
	Scherpenzael.
	Scherpenzael?
	No, Scherpenzael.
	You can do it.
	Scherpenzael.
	Scherpenzael.
	This is Angelique.
	She's actually a producer.
	She's been sending lots of good stories.
	She's gone through a tough time herself, and here she is helping us out on the show, which is highly appreciated.
	Ryan Immel, Roanoke, Indiana.
	A couple notes.
	TSA store I was leaving out of Seattle last week and opted out of the naked body scanner while waiting for my pat-down.
	The TSA agent at the scanner leaned over and said, Smart man.
	Oh, really?
	You made the right decision.
	Really?
	Trust me.
	You don't want to go through this thing.
	Oh, my God.
	Oh, there you go.
	Before I could catch up to what he was saying, I was whisked away from my groping.
	I figure he's either a no-agenda listener or they know something.
	And then he wanted to also say thanks to Adam for the value-for-value model that we've pioneered with no agenda.
	Hey, what am I, sliced liver?
	You know that the U.S. Treasury is now using our model as well?
	Yeah, I heard that.
	They're asking for donations.
	Yeah, they have an actual donation page, and you're welcome to donate to help reduce the debt.
	A tip jar.
	Yeah.
	It's like, you've got to see this.
	The link in the show notes, noagendershow.com.
	It's unbelievable.
	They literally are saying, hey, if you'd like to help, you know, you've got a little extra cash laying around, just, you know, send it our way.
	You know, literally.
	We just need cash.
	I know a lot of people want to send blankets or water.
	Just send your cash.
	Right there on treasury.gov.
	Amazing.
	You guys have no shame.
	So Ryan has a website, wpcandy.com, which is...
	WP sounds like WordPress candy.
	Might be an interesting site.
	Kristen Winter, McTank.
	Venice, California.
	Damon Dahling, D-A-L-I-N-G in Waterville, Washington.
	I don't even know where that is.
	Dear John and Adam, please give me a complete de-douching and un-boner me.
	All right, stand back because that could hurt me.
	You've been de-douched.
	And de-bonered.
	Here's the un-bonering.
	Oh!
	Oh boy.
	That's going to be a new feature.
	You better be able to replicate that one.
	Cheers in the morning.
	I was frustrated with Adam.
	He doesn't like you interrupting the sound clips.
	Oh, sorry.
	Daniel Foster in Maynardville, Tennessee.
	I'd like to keep the theme of Magic Numbers and become a triple member of the 300 Club.
	Thanks to you guys.
	I can...
	No longer watch television.
	You're welcome.
	Anytime.
	Especially the news without griping about it.
	Well, we yell at our TVs, too.
	Oh, yeah.
	Drives the kids crazy.
	Yeah, it does.
	And the wives.
	Gerald Giannette, or it could be Giannette, but he's in London, Ontario.
	Gregory Laudrup in North Hills, California.
	James...
	And let me just move this down a little bit.
	James Hercan of Warren Dight, Victoria, Australia.
	And he wants his name read as James Hercan this time.
	His last time I was listed as J. Hercan or I.J. Hercan.
	John Snyder.
	Sir John Snyder.
	I'm sorry.
	Chicago.
	Curry should be making his own biscuits.
	Why?
	What is the point of this?
	Remember because the biscuit tin exploded in my hand and gave me like a blood blister?
	Oh, right, right, right.
	This is actually on Snopes as like a myth.
	Snopes.
	Yeah, this is listed on Snopes as a myth that people have the...
	It's the bullet biscuit story where the can of...
	Here's what happens.
	Here's how the story goes.
	So I know my best friend, you know, so she had one of these biscuits explode and she thought she got shot in the back of the head and then her brain, she was holding her brains in, but it was actually the dough that was stuck against the back of her head.
	But I gotta tell you, this thing, it exploded with a lot of force.
	I mean, I have two actual blood blisters on my finger from the edge of the can.
	But you're right, I should make my own biscuits.
	You're right.
	I'm sorry.
	How hard can it be?
	I was ill!
	I mean, come on!
	It was Easter and I was ill!
	You sure you didn't hallucinate the explosion?
	Kenneth Kielholz in Hamilton, Ohio.
	You guys are simply the best show on the internets.
	Please keep up the great work.
	My commute would otherwise be lousy.
	My commute.
	I'm sounding like the elite.
	My commute would be otherwise lousy.
	I like commute.
	Commute.
	Commute.
	My commute.
	As we get from our matriale.
	To be my commute.
	Would otherwise be lousy.
	Hopefully you can stop in or around Queen City on your tour.
	Love to meet you guys.
	Yeah.
	Another anonymous.
	I think anonymous from Rydia.
	$300.
	Riyadh.
	Riyadh.
	Why do I keep saying Rydia?
	Because you're an old fart.
	No.
	This show is literally hours and hours of great content weekly, Riyadh.
	Riyadh.
	You know what?
	If I ever see it written, I'm always going to say Rydia.
	Because I'm trying to get Rydia.
	I was on my commute to Rydia to supply some material to the Allies.
	The commute.
	The commute to Rydia.
	For this material for the Allies.
	You know, people who are new to the show are going, what?
	What?
	We have a theory for newbies that people encode certain kinds of mispronunciations to let you know that they're in some wink-wink, nudge-nudge operation.
	Yeah, Hillary Clinton does it, and the press corps that travels with her is doing it.
	Well, Jill, yes, let me talk about the matreale.
	So, Marcel Heijmans, and she'd like to say congratulations, or he, would like to say congratulations for show 300.
	Right, thank you.
	Mark Crandall.
	Mark Crandall, his name is Ren Aiden.
	I'm looking forward to your RV trip.
	Please release some video podcasts of the trip and try to make it out to Paulsbo, Washington, which, by the way, and he's in Bellevue, it says, but it must be in Paulsbo.
	Paulsbo is one of the great cities in Washington state as a little tourist place.
	It's a Norwegian.
	It's like a duplicate, not a phony one, but because it was settled by Norwegians.
	And the town is a little Norwegian town that's right out of Norway.
	Well, that's just great, John.
	Thanks.
	They have a huge bakery, and blah, blah, blah.
	Anyway, you got a cinnamon roll for $2.50.
	Okay.
	Matthew Greensmith, Sir Matthew Greensmith, Melbourne, Victoria, 300 Club.
	Yeah, I have an email from him.
	We'll have to read later.
	Read.
	Nicholas Wallace in Toledo, Ohio.
	Instead of karma, I'd like a dose of inspiration.
	Oh.
	He needs a kick in the ass to get moving on the issues going in my life.
	I think karma would not hurt.
	You need some karma.
	Give him some karma instead.
	That's good.
	You've got karma.
	There you go.
	Sir Rob Seelock in Cochran, Alberta, where all the money is.
	I also want to thank ourselves for making the coin deal right.
	Mighty good of you.
	It's from the oil capital of Canada, Calgary, Alberta.
	He's from Calgary, where they have the stampede.
	The stampedes.
	I've been there.
	I've been to the stampede.
	You have?
	I've never been to the stampede.
	I have a belt buckle from the stampede.
	How is it?
	Is it worth going to?
	It's awesome.
	It's a really long ride.
	Scott Schoenberger, Malibu, California.
	Sebastian Nielsen in Stockholm.
	Long-time listener, first time, I don't know.
	From around the episode, Corks Grow on Trees with the epic segment of Listen to Me.
	I know what I'm talking about.
	Really impressed how you keep all the memes juggled through the show, both in the long-running ones and the ones for the current episode.
	Squirrel!
	The work of professionals.
	Thank you.
	That's right.
	We are pros.
	Even though we're ill, we're here and we're keeping the memes running.
	I'd like to ask the boners, not the donors out there, to really check themselves.
	If you find just one out of around 20 to 30 segments of the show have value, brings you insight, truth, and entertainment, is it then not worth more than your average mainstream news show?
	The show is my main resource of news and great counterweight to get insight on the mainstream's agenda.
	Hope to see some news touching the Nordics and maybe also provide you with some myself.
	And then we have our pal, the Baron.
	Sir Baron Von Pelsmacher from Belgium.
	You know, it's like, I have to put his name in right, because, you know, we say, his name is Staph and Pelsmacher, but I put in like, Sir Baron Staph and Von Pelsmacher of the No Agenda Gitmo Nation of Brussels Sprouts, and he always is like, you misspelled my name.
	This is for the 300 Club.
	He's also got another knighthood, but he doesn't know who to give it to.
	How about a third contribution, regular subscription, or otherwise, that came in on April 21st in honor of my son Nicholas's first communion, if that is not too hard for Eric to figure out.
	This is such a beautiful guy.
	Stephen Pelsmacher is our number one patron.
	No, he is.
	He's way up there, way ahead of everybody else.
	So this looks like a knighthood we should be giving to Nicholas.
	Okay, well then...
	Oh, doesn't Nicholas already have a knighthood?
	I think he does.
	Yeah, I think...
	We'll put this in abeyance and give a black knighthood to somebody in the weeks ahead.
	Well, we'll have Eric and the Baron work something out.
	I mean, we can't just let a knighthood go to waste.
	That's impossible.
	No, no, it'll go to someone.
	Maybe we should auction it off.
	Black Knight, Vernon White, Pearl in Texas.
	Sir Vernon White.
	Sir, Sir Vernon.
	Black, Sir, right.
	Sorry.
	Matt Hovey in Oakland, Michigan.
	Happy to donate this too for opportunity in my first installment toward Knighthood.
	And co-ed stripping through college.
	Keep up with the great work.
	Could I get some karma to help me with my software business?
	Yes, absolutely.
	Stripping through college.
	You've got karma.
	We love the co-ed stripping through college.
	Then we have members of the 299 Club.
	Oh, the 299 Club.
	Great.
	Wow.
	Jason Southwell, who will become a knight today.
	Sir Larry Lee of Granite Shoals, Texas, who hopes he's not the sole member of the 299 Club.
	In fact, he's not.
	And then again, Stephen Vaughn.
	No way.
	Wow.
	Apparently, yes.
	He wanted to be a member of the 299 Club because that's a unique number.
	And two associate executive producers, Nick McNeil and Bruce Salkowitz.
	Nick McNeil is in Oakland.
	After months of listening and getting called out as a douchebag, I've realized that enough is enough.
	I'm currently finishing grad school at UC Berkeley.
	There you go.
	Another student donating to the show, which is so appreciated.
	Thank you.
	He's currently finishing grad school.
	Thank you for having to resort to stripping to pay for my tuition, but seeing as my graduation student research business is coming to an end, he needs some karma if you can give him some.
	Of course.
	Are you kidding me?
	Absolutely.
	Happy to do that.
	You've got karma.
	He also says that it's very important he's got to start working off his original student loan debt of $9.2 million.
	So, uh...
	Listen to my throat.
	So, since listening to the show, he's non-violently propagated the formula to all of his puzzle-faced students he teaches.
	I can just...
	Wait a minute.
	He's propagating this to his students?
	Good on you.
	At Berkeley.
	No way.
	They're like, what?
	Really?
	What does he teach at Berkeley?
	He's a grad school.
	He doesn't say specifically.
	That's fantastic.
	I wonder what he actually says.
	I mean, you've got to record some of your lessons, man.
	And then what the kids say.
	Because, you know, they walk right out of class into the CIA recruitment arms.
	Yeah, Berkeley's loaded with these guys.
	So he says if he can donate as a poor grad student, anyone can do their part.
	So just do it, he says.
	And finally, like I said, Bruce Salkovitz in Warrington, Pennsylvania, is doubling down on his Deuce Club donation.
	Muscle Top for Show 300.
	Thank you.
	And send some karma to his wife.
	She just lost half of her job.
	Here's a full-on karma.
	You've got karma.
	So, since this is a rather long segment, and I'm not going to repeat every single name, but everyone, of course, gets a special mention on the next show, Episode 300.
	We appreciate all of the help for all of our 300 Club members.
	Excuse me.
	Gas.
	It really is great.
	And this is the kind of boost that the show needs.
	Because this is what we do.
	For those of you who are new to the program, we take no commercial money.
	We're not shilling.
	And although it does seem to be a popular idea, as now the Treasury, of course, is asking you to contribute to pay down the national debt.
	And you're welcome to give your money to them and have it go towards bombs that are thrown onto brown people in sand, which is one way of spending your money.
	Or you could just help us and support this show.
	A couple of PR mentions I do have to get to, John, as we get ready to propagate the formula.
	Brand new forwards to NoAgendaShow.com, which is our main website.
	Abhorrent.us and Abhorrent.org.
	Which is a great, and this is one of our words, one of your words.
	Abhorrent is available.
	Abhorrent.us and Abhorrent.org.
	I know what Abhorrent.com's got to say.
	By the way, we did miss one.
	I'm sorry to do this to you.
	We do need one karma for the Blue Jewels guy, which is his anonymous name, by the way.
	Oh, okay, good.
	He's starting a...
	And not only that, but I'd also like to hand out some special karma to all of the folks in Tornado Alley in the south of Gitmo nation states.
	Yeah, it's really bad crap going down there.
	Some karma for everybody.
	You've got karma.
	Really horrible.
	Of course, we don't talk about that either.
	You've got to talk about the royal wedding.
	Oh yeah, heck with those storms.
	Yes, we have Sir Clancy, one of our knights, who was running the Stockholm Marathon.
	That's today.
	He's raising money for Doctors Without Borders, which John and I both think is a fine organization, a real organization.
	That can be trusted.
	It can be trusted.
	And he's personally matching 10% of any money he raises for Médecins Sans Frontières, which is French for Doctors Without Borders, to the No Agenda Show.
	It's right there on his site, which is noagendathon.com.
	And it's very funny how he's worded that on the site.
	It's great.
	This is one I missed on the last program, patmedownfeelmeup.com.
	Hey, you know, this fits right in with, did you know Miss USA was...
	I know, yeah, yeah.
	It's all the news.
	Yeah, yeah.
	She's irked.
	Yeah, she is.
	Well, TSAprotocol.com, also pointing to NoAgendaShow.com.
	We are going to get into trouble one of these days.
	Subjugate.me, a fine forward.
	We really love that.
	Subjugate.me.
	And of course, based upon the last program, where John noticed that there is a high correlation between people who take RV trips, as Miss Mickey and I are planning as a part of our No Agenda Nation tour, and wife swapping, we have SirCramalot.com.
	He's now forwarding to NoAgendaShow.com.
	No one came up with blowupanddrive.com.
	I'm sorry we missed that one.
	And I was just thinking there's a great new premium that we should probably get in on.
	You probably heard that, based upon the latest WikiLeaks publication, that if you are wearing one of these Casio plastic watches, you are pretty much a terrorist.
	And I was thinking maybe we could get a couple of these.
	Oh, really?
	I missed that one.
	You missed that one?
	Oh, it's great.
	Yeah, and they go for like seven bucks or something.
	So the government, the guys at the TSA, the checkpoints, they're looking for what kind of watch you're wearing now and if you're wearing a cheap Casio?
	Well, so the interrogators at Gitmo, Guantanamo Bay, identified potential terrorists by the type of watch they would wear on their wrists, and apparently the cheap Casio, the black one with like the LCD display, that's a giveaway.
	That's like their night ring.
	It's the Casio.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	So, like, if someone could grab a couple of these and get some No Agenda logos on them, this is awesome.
	We could get pulled over all the time.
	Yeah, we'd be good to go.
	What are you doing with that watch, sir?
	Anyway, we highly appreciate the support we've received and recorded...
	Yeah.
	Excuse me.
	And of course, show number 300.
	You're going to make it through?
	You're going to make it for the hour?
	I sure hope so.
	Everybody else who was just out there and hanging out, propagate the formula.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	And we should all say it loud and proud...
	Shout out!
	Me!
	And I want to remind everybody out there that we do have show 300 coming up on Sunday.
	And if you want to help us by celebrating this show with a donation, go to Dvorak.org slash NA, noagendanation.com slash donate or...
	Well, we have some mind control for you.
	Dvorak.org.
	Slash N-A. You'll never get it out of your head ever again.
	It would be very appreciated and help carry us through another week.
	So, of course, we had the most beautiful weather in weeks here in Southern California, in the People's Republic here at Gitmo Nation West, as Miss Mickey and I are sweating it out, sitting around completely lethargic.
	And I was, like, really excited because Ben Bernanke, Yay!
	The chairman of the Federal Reserve, which is a collection of private banks who run everything, did his first PR press conference.
	And they're going to do these four times a year.
	It's part of the new transparency program.
	And of course, I'm really excited because I'm like, yes, fine.
	Someone's going to say, Mr.
	Bernanke, could you please explain why the Federal Reserve lent money to the wives of high-ranking bank executives?
	Oh, Mr.
	Bernanke, I have a question.
	Could you please tell me all the banks that are members of the Federal Reserve?
	These are going to be the questions, right?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, right.
	Sure.
	Yeah.
	So I watched this for two hours.
	It was the most boring thing.
	Sucker!
	The most boring thing ever.
	Sucker!
	I did get one little ditty.
	No.
	Yes, I did.
	I did.
	I got a little ditty from Benny.
	And, of course, now, we know that...
	The president came out this week and said, or at the beginning of this week, he said, hey, I've got a task force because we want to make sure we've got no oil speculators, you know, like trying to rig the game on these prices.
	Now, actually, it was producer Doug who said, gosh, Adam and John, don't you know what this means?
	Don't you understand how this works?
	Did you see this note from Doug?
	Yeah, I did.
	He says, this is a solicitation for campaign funds.
	In other words, the U.S. government says, hey, oil companies, you should be donating to the president's re-election campaign, or we might, you know, investigate you.
	Yeah, that's how a no-agenda producer should think.
	Makes total sense.
	Yeah, it does.
	We're getting some good thinking going on outside the show.
	But of course, there's no speculation going on.
	And Ben Bernanke lays down the Ministry of Truth talking points like no one else's business.
	Coming from higher gasoline prices.
	Now, listen to his voice, by the way.
	His voice gets all high and all...
	Because here comes the lie.
	Here comes the lie like it's written on his forehead.
	Now, our interpretation of the increase in gas prices is the economist's basic mantra of supply and demand.
	Okay.
	But it gets better.
	This is like a rerun of the old run-up.
	It's just the same script.
	Can't they get new writers?
	No, they're all tied up on the Jon Stewart show.
	But listen to what he says.
	This is the most beautiful thing in the world.
	On the one hand, we have a rapidly growing global economy.
	Emerging market economies are growing very quickly.
	So, blame it on the Chinese, right?
	Oh, yeah.
	And the Brazilians, not us.
	So, I guess we're doing our job as good little slaves.
	We're driving battery cars, and we're turning off the lights, and we're training our kids that you have to have cancer light bulbs instead of old ones.
	It's all good.
	We're good.
	And their demand for commodities, including oil, is very, very strong.
	Indeed, essentially all of the increase in the demand for oil in the last couple of years, in the last decade, has come from an emerging market economy.
	Okay.
	Bad.
	Bad, bad, bad.
	Emerging markets.
	Those guys who don't participate in the climate change carbon credits.
	Those guys.
	Bad, bad, bad.
	Now, John, do you know where these supply problems come from?
	Well, the supply problems?
	Yes, because it's supply and demand, John.
	This is supply and demand.
	There's no manipulation.
	No!
	Do you watch television, John?
	Do you watch television?
	Do you watch television?
	In the United States, our demand for oil, our imports have actually been going down over time.
	So the demand is coming from a growing economy where we've seen about a 25% increase in emerging market output since before the crisis.
	And on the supply side, as everybody knows who watches television, we've seen disruptions in the Middle East and North Africa and Libya and in other places.
	Didn't you watch our show?
	Didn't you see my reality show called the Arab Spring reality show?
	Come on, everyone who watches television, you know!
	It's because of all the...
	It's because of the revolt!
	The Twitter revolution!
	For this guy to say this is abhorrent.
	I'm sorry you spent time on this.
	This is pathetically vapid insofar as information is concerned.
	I did get one thing out of this.
	I heard part of it, and I did hear where he says, well, you know, our unemployment situation is going to continue until 2013.
	Yeah, which is when the big...
	How does that sound to you all?
	I think that might be a part of this clip, actually.
	...have constrained supply, that supply has not been made up, and that in turn has driven gas prices up quite significantly.
	Here comes the funniest line.
	He has lines.
	He has good writers.
	So again, this is a very adverse development.
	It accounts in the short run for the increase in our, pretty much, almost all of the increase in our inflation.
	Pretty much, except for the manipulation that's going on.
	He stumbles right there.
	This accounts for all, I mean, pretty much, except for, you know, like, all the Goldman Sachs manipulation that's going on.
	Forecast, at least in the very near term.
	There's not much the Federal Reserve can do about gas prices per se.
	At least not without derailing growth entirely.
	Now what does that mean?
	He says we can't do anything unless we derail growth entirely.
	Wait a minute, that's a great clip.
	Wait, you can't...
	Not so vapid anymore all of a sudden.
	Does that make...
	Well, you got me.
	Does that make any sense whatsoever?
	Let's lower the price of gasoline.
	That will ruin everything.
	What's the logic here?
	That's literally what he's saying.
	Yeah, literally.
	At least not without derailing growth entirely, which is certainly not the right way to go.
	Lower and grow, brother!
	What is he just throwing in this thing as, well, you know, we try to solve crime.
	We could probably put more police on him.
	But why do that?
	But then crime would be out of control.
	We would ruin it.
	We could get more police and we could, you know, put some cameras on the streets, but then crime would go out of control.
	We'd ruin that.
	So how do you go from that?
	Does he think he's going to get away with this logic?
	Yeah, of course, because the journalists go, uh?
	Well, yeah, because it was two hours of boring crap that you just watched, and you just happened to get lucky enough to find it.
	I didn't get lucky.
	I watched it, and I took notes from my sickbed.
	Yeah, but how did you not fall asleep is the question.
	This is what the pros would do.
	The pros.
	The pros.
	The pros are all sitting there like, is it my time for the mic?
	Do I get the mic?
	I want to have the mic.
	Like Steve from MSNBC. And Bernanke actually said, well, thank you for your question, Steve.
	Did you see that?
	Because everyone else is like, Hi, I'm Dan from the Financial Times.
	I'm from the Chinese Financial Newspaper.
	I'm Japanese.
	And then it's like, Mr.
	Chairman.
	And Bernanke goes, Thank you, Steve, for your excellent question.
	Douchebag Steve.
	You know the thing I'm talking about?
	No.
	Yeah, you do.
	He's always the guy who gets to talk to Bernanke.
	From MSNBC. That douche.
	He's his buddy.
	Yeah, of course.
	And he goes, hey Steve.
	Here's the question I'd like you to ask.
	Yes.
	Now, let's listen to this again, because the best is still to come.
	Derailing growth entirely, which is certainly not the right way to go.
	No.
	After all, the Fed can't create more oil.
	Well, we can't create more oil?
	Really?
	I thought you had an oil machine, Ben.
	Ben.
	We don't control the growth rates of emerging market economies.
	What we can do is basically try to keep higher gas prices from passing into other prices and wages throughout the economy.
	How does that work?
	How do you do that?
	He can do it.
	He's Ben.
	He's Magic Ben.
	Yeah, you have to pay more for gas and you have to pay more for your gas for the truck that hauls the lettuce, but somehow it's going to be, we can control that somehow.
	Because we're awesome.
	Shut up, slave.
	You don't have to ask questions.
	What are you, a journalist?
	Creating a broader inflation.
	Oh, by creating broader inflation?
	I don't understand.
	Which would be much more difficult to extinguish.
	Again, our view is that...
	Back, back, back, back, back.
	Go back.
	We missed a clause in there somehow.
	No, he just says we can do this.
	He doesn't explain how.
	Again, our view is that most likely, of course we don't know for sure, but we'll be watching carefully, our view is that gas prices...
	I'm sorry, I didn't go back far enough.
	I missed it.
	Hold on.
	There we go.
	Economy creating a broader inflation, which will be much more difficult to extinguish.
	Again, our view is that most likely, of course, we don't know for sure, but we'll be watching carefully.
	Our view is that gas prices will not continue to rise at the recent pace.
	And it's now it'll rise at a slower pace.
	They stabilize or even come down if situation stabilizes in the Middle East.
	If the situation stabilizes in the Middle East, it's supply and demand, you doofus.
	You idiot.
	Supply and demand, supply and demand.
	That will provide some relief on the inflation front, but we'll have to watch it very carefully.
	Yeah, you watch that, Ben.
	We'll just be over here pounding our pud while you watch that for us, Ben.
	What is that?
	Oh, my goodness.
	Meanwhile, as we speak about the Arab Spring, and I'm just going, because I have energy now, John, and then I'll collapse, because I actually get dizzy when I'm doing this.
	You got dizzy.
	I know I got dizzy the last time, too.
	So, of course, you and I have been harping on the techno experts.
	And GX2 actually made a song about this.
	The techno experts.
	Hillary Clinton calls her Twitter bots and her entire cyber team, who of course are out there on Twitter and Facebook making stuff up.
	She calls them techno experts.
	And so, of course, we've been looking for little details here and there.
	We've been really searching far and wide for, okay, so how exactly does the State Department inject these fake messages or these insight messages?
	So-called revolutions that are then picked up by the idiot people like Anderson Cooper and presented as truth instead of just the fact, which is this is what the CIA does, is we go in and we start crapping other countries and then we go and save the day by bombing the leader and taking him out.
	So, right?
	By the way, I love the no-fly zone.
	Now, this time, they sent a bunch of missiles at Qaddafi's headquarters, his house, literally.
	Yeah, surgical strike.
	Boom, boom, boom.
	Of course, Qaddafi's long gone.
	And so now there's all this news cropping up about how there's direct communications going on with Cesar Chavez.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Which is what we said when this thing started, that they were planning to move to Venezuela, because that's the only real country that will take them.
	Did you see that Gaddafi's sister came out?
	And she's beautiful, by the way.
	This is, what's her name?
	I'm sorry, I'm looking at him.
	Oh my god.
	No, they call her the, what do they call her?
	They call her like the, hold on a second, I'm bringing, Aisha.
	Aisha Gaddafi.
	And they call her the...
	Hold on a sec, I'm just loading up this page here.
	The Claudia Schiffer of North Africa.
	Wow.
	Because you see where the headscarf...
	This is what I always say.
	This is what I'm always saying.
	These headscarves are good because you unwrap that little present and behind there there's a massive surprise.
	And she is stunning.
	Sure.
	She is beautiful.
	How do you spell her first name?
	A-I-S-H-A. Aisha.
	Aisha Gaddafi.
	Let me see here.
	I'm sorry, I'm just losing it for a second.
	Anyway, so she...
	Oh, she doesn't even look anything like him.
	No, but she's beautiful, right?
	She's very attractive, yes.
	She's stunning.
	So she's coming out and she's harping directly on Hillary Clinton saying, Hey, how come you didn't leave the White House when you found out about your cheating husband?
	So now it's getting personal.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, she's like, hey, you stupid biatch.
	Your man cheated on you and you couldn't even do anything about it, biatch.
	Pretty amazing, right?
	This is just coming in out of the blue right now?
	Yeah.
	This came in this morning.
	This is a cat fight!
	It is!
	It's a total cat fight.
	I love it.
	Anyway, let me get back to the story at hand.
	So, on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart has Gigi Ibrahim And she, of course, was one of these bloggers who was immediately on CNN and MSNBC and on all the talk shows because she, of course, was one of the revolutionary techno-experts who started the whole revolution in Egypt in Tariq Square.
	And she sits down and, like, right out of the gate, I could not believe what was being said here.
	Even Jon Stewart, like, had to step back and say, what did you just say?
	Here it comes.
	How did you end up in Tahrir Square during the protests, and how did you end up becoming known as part of this group that helped Egypt rise up against Mubarak?
	I took a class.
	She took a class, apparently, John.
	She just took a class, and that's how she helped.
	And even Stuart goes, what?
	Would you like to just say that one more time for me?
	Yes.
	I took a class at the American University in Cairo.
	It's called the Social Mobilization Under Authoritarian Regime.
	What?
	It's called...
	This is great.
	This is very funny.
	She's in competition with that Google guy who's trying to take credit for the whole thing.
	He loses.
	What's the name of this class?
	We've got to take this class.
	It's called the Social Mobilization Under Authoritarian Regime.
	The Social Mobilization Under Authoritarian Regime.
	Yeah, at American University in Cairo.
	And they're letting him teach this at the school there?
	This is hilarious.
	Well, luckily, Jon Stewart's no dummy, and he actually says this.
	That was good.
	Yeah, woo!
	Hey, that's awesome!
	Oh, wow!
	I gotta go home and change my Twitter icon for that.
	Woo!
	Just out of curiosity, how authoritarian can a regime be if a college in Cairo offers...
	A private American.
	Oh, it's private American.
	Oh, right.
	Who do you think is running the private American school?
	Oh, you mean like those Muslim schools in New York City?
	Yeah, exactly.
	Oh, it's a private American.
	Yeah.
	So we were there, in many respects, fomenting...
	We are...
	Ignited.
	Ignited.
	Fired up, as the president would say.
	Are you fired up?
	Are you ignited?
	Are you fired up?
	Are you ready for some revolution?
	Thank you.
	What did they teach you in this class that you found valuable, and would you have had...
	Because social media is not...
	Those were real people on the square.
	Those were not tweets on the square.
	Those were real individuals.
	Absolutely.
	What did you learn from the class that gave you the courage to go there?
	Well, I was very out of touch with the opposition movement because it's not something that you read in the paper or it's advertised, you know, sign up here, you know, you don't find that.
	So you had to get in touch with the right people, I guess.
	And the class was a great way to learn about what was the history of it.
	And of course, who was teaching the class?
	What was happening?
	And I really wasn't aware that there was such an opposition movement that was great happening for decades, really.
	Yes, with ups and downs, but then we had a great speaker who's actually a great blogger and activist himself, Hossein Al-Hamalawi, Arabawi.org.
	So I tried to...
	I played that back like...
	I know.
	I know.
	I tried five times because I'm like, I want to know who this guy is.
	He's a great blogger.
	Yeah.
	Great blogger.
	I know.
	I've heard all about him.
	He's a great blogger.
	I couldn't...
	I could not get the name.
	No way.
	Don't get sneaky with the plugs here.
	Let's have our listeners.
	Sorry.
	Sorry.
	Let's have our listeners get his name and then we can do a follow-up.
	Oh yeah, we've got to figure out who this great speaker was.
	Now just listen to the ending because that's also quite revealing.
	You know, through him I got to meet a lot of people.
	I went to one protest and the rest was history.
	I was in Tahrir January 25th.
	January 25th, which of course was the hashtag.
	So this is where it all started.
	It started at the privately funded American University.
	What was the name of the class again, John?
	Something about kicking ass under an authoritarian regime.
	Right, shows with social media.
	Yeah, social media.
	And then they get a bunch of thugs to show up and...
	And then they throw Anderson Cooper in there and you're good to go.
	And then we throw the douchebag out who we don't like or whatever.
	It's like, duh!
	Wait, wait, who we don't like today.
	Who we don't like today.
	He was our buddy like a week earlier.
	So was Gaddafi was our buddy.
	He's always been our buddy until he like started messing around with the Chinese.
	Then he wasn't our buddy all of a sudden.
	We're fickle.
	We've put up with a lot.
	But it's amazing how this is just out there.
	And where's Anderson Cooper on this?
	Where's anybody on this?
	Jon Stewart brings her on.
	She drops a bunch of bombs.
	Boom, boom, boom.
	And there's not one person following up except us.
	That is quite sad.
	Sorry, I was blowing my nose with the mic closed.
	Anyway.
	Yeah, no, there was some thing, I couldn't get any clips from it.
	There was this discussion on C-SPAN about journalism, and they had, what's her name, Matlin, you know, the wife of Carville?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Mary Matlin.
	Mary Matlin.
	And a couple other, you know, like, respected journalists on the panel.
	And it was like an hour-long discussion.
	And I was trying to get some clips from it.
	It was impossible because they're all just boring.
	Oh, yeah.
	No, they're blowhards.
	But they all hate Anderson Cooper.
	They do?
	Oh, yeah.
	They're like, well, you know, an Anderson Cooper.
	He's not considered a journalist.
	It's like he's the worst thing that ever happened to journalism.
	What?
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	It was unclippable.
	But I was just like, really?
	Anderson Cooper is a joke in the news media, apparently.
	And there's another thing.
	How is he any more of a joke than anybody else?
	Well, you've got to have.
	He's a Vanderbilt.
	That's why.
	Now I'm coming to his defense.
	This is bad.
	I don't see the rationale here.
	He's just another talking head on the TV. He has a team of writers.
	He's just the typical meat puppet that's just doing his job.
	He's handsome!
	How is he any different than Katie Couric?
	He's handsome.
	But also, you know, Rachel Maddow is now also like kind of hinting at, you know, he should come out and it would be good if he would, you know.
	He has come out.
	Well, not good enough for Rachel, apparently.
	Well, what, is she supposed to wear a big badge saying, I'm gay?
	Or wear a big tight-fitting sweatshirt that says, I'm gay on it?
	It would be a start.
	Oh, crap.
	She has her nerve.
	Why don't you mind her own business?
	It would be a good start.
	I'm now an Anderson Cooper fan.
	That's hilarious.
	I think you should wear a badge that says, I heart Anderson.
	No, I heart AC 360.
	This should be your new, your badge.
	I heart AC 360.
	There's another thing I noticed.
	They don't talk, so they talk about Fox and CNN, but they don't say MSNBC. It's called MS. What?
	Yeah.
	So they keep talking about MSNBC, but they just say, you know, I watch MS and I watch Fox and CNN. MS? Like multiple sclerosis?
	Yeah, they call it MS. And they say it's the worst channel ever.
	So they just call it MS. Well, they got that.
	Yeah, but they just call it MS. It's crazy.
	It's like, the elite people, it's, you know, people don't understand that, and if anything, the takeaway from our program should be, the reality television that you're watching is so poor compared to the stuff you can get for free on C-SPAN. I mean, that is really good, riveting television.
	You know, we just, you can't watch it all because you'll kill yourself.
	You know, you'll literally want to, like, you know, just hop into the tub and drag in the toaster.
	What are you doing with the toaster in the bathroom, honey?
	When you find those nuggets, and of course we point to them in the show notes at abhorrent.us, or shutupslaves.com, or seanhannity.com, it's really good stuff, and it's just, it's hilarious.
	So you should watch it.
	I'm going to chime in here with my C-SPAN discovery.
	Lovely.
	What you got?
	So the Boeing CEO is on.
	He gave his long lecture to a group of people about how our industrial base has fallen apart and we suck.
	But he drops a couple of interesting little tidbits that I didn't know about.
	Now, late in the speech, he brings this one up, which I thought was kind of funny, which is play the Boeing CEO on China airports.
	Much more efficient.
	Oh, sorry.
	I was just going to set it up with saying, as I heard this, I'm thinking, oh, we're pointing to China as the great high-speed rail model.
	Right.
	Yeah, play it.
	That's much more efficient than the ones that we initially delivered to our customer years ago.
	In terms of noise, another incredible story.
	Over the last 50 years, we've been able to reduce the noise footprint by some 90%.
	Infrastructure, though, is going to be a limiting factor.
	In the U.S., as many of you know, it can take up to 20 years to get all the permits in place and also to build a new runway.
	And you compare that to what's going on in places like China, where they plan to construct from 45 to 55 new airports over the next five years.
	And to the best of my knowledge, there aren't plans to build any new airports in the United States during that time period.
	Air traffic management.
	Really?
	That's good.
	That's amazing.
	So, yeah, 50...
	So I don't know about the high speed rail thing.
	Well, since it's such a financial success.
	It's a disaster.
	It's a huge disaster.
	So meanwhile, I'm listening to this guy and he has this other little comment.
	And as soon as he drops this, I think you would be the same.
	We try to follow the news as close as we can.
	But when something like what he's just about to say, see if you can find the little gem in here that is like, why, maybe you know about it.
	I don't.
	But see if you can find it and tell me what you think I think it is.
	And the government was willing to put a lot of work offshore.
	And unfortunately that didn't happen.
	But I don't think anybody should think that just one program is going to be enough to sustain the industrial base in this country.
	It's not.
	The second threat to America's leadership in aerospace concerns innovation and technology, and we're seeing much more competition on the commercial and defense sides from around the world.
	In commercial aviation, I talked about the new entrants from Canada, from Brazil, from Russia, and from China.
	We're also seeing other people enter the defense market as well.
	I know that many saw the new J-20, the Chinese stealth fighter, as a threat.
	I really saw it as a new competitor in the global defense marketplace, and it will be.
	I think to win in the face of increasing competition and subsidized competition, the only way that we can do that is through better innovation and technology.
	Canada?
	The J-20?
	Have you ever heard of a Chinese stealth fighter?
	No.
	I sent you a link to some pictures of it.
	This is a hot jet.
	Apparently the Chinese have been building a fleet of different kinds of jets to compete with our jets on the international market.
	So you'll be, you know, we'll have one of our jets fighting one of their jets.
	You know, the Russians, I guess, are out of the picture.
	And, you know, the Europeans only have a few fighter jets that they sell.
	Well, they've got the big thing, the big albatross is the joint strike fighter.
	That's the one.
	Yeah, that thing's a piece of crap.
	Everybody knows.
	It won't even Wow, this thing is amazing!
	Holy crap!
	Isn't that a beautiful plane?
	Oh my goodness!
	Hey baby, thank you.
	Oh my goodness!
	Wow, I'd fly that biatch in a heartbeat.
	Wow!
	Well, so a couple things I learned from that clip.
	First of all, besides everything in the world being about oil, it's all about guns and weapons.
	That's it.
	Oh yeah, well, the oil needs to pay for the guns and the weapons.
	Well, of course.
	It's like, why are we even fooling ourselves that it's about anything else in the world except for weapons?
	Again, let's just go back to the fact that we now have the military-industrial complex and the CIA in cahoots in the United States, and everyone's concerned about the royal wedding.
	This is just, it's unbelievable!
	And of course, so yeah, so maybe even Gaddafi was maybe even trying to like do a deal with the Chinese for one of these puppies.
	It could be.
	Who needs those jets fighting our jets?
	But apparently the Chinese have a whole slew of jets that they're making.
	Products, John.
	Products.
	They're doing a bunch of products.
	They've already taken away half of the stuff that we used to make here.
	Now they're going to take away our aerospace.
	That's the only thing we do!
	We're screwed if we lose our aerospace business.
	I think we'd better start learning some new languages.
	Hi!
	And where is the news media about this, like, raising the alarm?
	Fox, where's Fox?
	Where's any, you know, the right-wingers, you'd think they'd be saying something, hey, look at these jets the Chinese are doing there, now selling them into the world market against our jets.
	Who needs it?
	Pretty soon we'll be buying these jets.
	That's a better price.
	Yeah, really.
	Chengdu's development record and official statements cast doubt on U.S. Defense Secretary Robert Gates' 2009 prediction that China would not have an operational stealth aircraft before 2020.
	Dude, the thing is flying.
	They've got, like, pictures of this thing flying.
	It's beautiful, too.
	Wow.
	It's funny, because...
	So, now, why isn't that a big scandal?
	That, oh, don't worry about it, 2020, a long ways away.
	Because, you know, we've got the royal wedding.
	What's wrong with you?
	Can't you get with the program?
	Why do you have to be difficult?
	You really have to just, you know, in fact.
	So I have a I got a clip here that I that I want to play.
	I know you couldn't sit through it, but I found it to be quite interesting.
	This is Ron Paul on The View.
	Oh, you know, I watched this and I couldn't pull a clip out of it.
	It just made my teeth itch to watch Joy Behar give him the stink eye.
	She just hates him.
	And she is such a creep.
	Well, Whoopi Goldberg, who in her own...
	She has quite a bit of creepology herself.
	So she comes out with the stupidest, most idiotic, slave, stupid, moron, retard comment ever...
	Which Ron Paul just answers beautifully.
	I have two questions for you.
	The first is, how would you get us out of the war?
	Because it seems to be an answer that has eluded everyone.
	Okay, I'm Whoopi Goldberg.
	I'm like, how would we get out of the war?
	How do we get out of the war?
	Do you think Joy Behar is bad?
	My God.
	How do we get out?
	That's what...
	I mean, I would like to know, because I'd like to...
	I would like to get out, but I'd like to...
	Talk about Afghanistan.
	Talk about Afghanistan.
	I'd like to get out of all of the wars.
	Yes, let's clap.
	Yes, yes, yes with me.
	Yes, yes with me.
	I don't think it's complicated.
	How did we go in?
	We just marched in without permission, without a declaration of war.
	So a good president would just march home.
	There you go.
	That's how you do it.
	You just march home.
	You just stop and get out.
	How hard can that be?
	This shows you how programmed people are.
	No, stupid!
	Moron!
	They would just leave.
	Well, you know, to be fair to you, you said this about George Bush's war.
	To be fair to you.
	To be fair to you.
	To be fair, you said this about George Bush.
	On Iraq also.
	You're very consistent.
	Both parties are war parties.
	I love that when he talks like it.
	Both parties are war parties.
	Thank you.
	Let's face it.
	That's what we have to do.
	Why?
	Because it increases the economy?
	Well, I don't know why.
	I don't know.
	It might even be a conspiracy.
	Don't say those things, RP. Don't talk about it.
	Don't use the C word.
	But it seems like the military-industrial complex controls both parties, because a lot of weapons are sold, and you always have to have an enemy.
	Think of many weapons that have been sold already, just bombing Libya.
	Do you hear Ruby going, like a sea cow?
	You don't want to hear it.
	These women are nuts.
	So I'm looking at the March edition.
	This is kind of an interesting little newspaper called the Rock Creek Free Press.
	You can look it up.
	I think I've seen it before.
	And right on the top it says, Fox News Dirty Tricks Against Ron Paul No Quote Unquote Mistake.
	Forgive me for being cynical, but Fox News has claimed that airing the wrong conservative political action committee CPAC footage and then introducing an interview with Ron Paul on the false premise that he had been booed.
	You remember we did this on the show, right?
	Yeah, I know, but I just want to remind people out there that Ron Paul is who's running for president.
	I don't think he's announced yet.
	No, but he's one step away because he put the committee together.
	Oh, okay.
	He told the federal election committee he's going to run.
	Okay.
	Or he's headed that way.
	Well, he bet he's got to run.
	He's like the only...
	The point is that they just are out to...
	This guy is dangerous.
	Him and Kucinich, which is interesting because they're both...
	You know, they're on different political perspectives.
	He's...
	I think Trump had it right.
	Trump made the announcement for the elites.
	He says, Ron Paul can't win.
	Ron Paul's not running.
	Don't vote for Ron Paul.
	He said this at CPAC. We had that, too, on the show.
	And it's just, you know, you hear Ron Paul come out with this simple logic.
	I think he has announced it.
	The chat room is saying he has announced.
	I've been ill.
	Sorry.
	I guess he has announced.
	I didn't think he had done it officially yet, but I guess he has.
	Good.
	Good, because I'll vote for him again, like the last time.
	I'm going to have to vote for him.
	Thank you.
	That's great, Joe.
	Thank you, darling.
	How are you feeling?
	Are you okay?
	Yeah.
	So I have...
	Since you mentioned the royal wedding a second ago...
	By the way, he can win.
	And there's another...
	Yeah, I know he can.
	There was another...
	He can, as in C-A-N.
	There was another piece of that interview, and it was so funny, because what's the...
	Hasselbach, is that her name?
	She's like the token Republican on the show?
	Yeah, Hasselbach.
	She's dumb.
	But she said...
	She's dumb.
	She's hot, but she's dumb.
	How can you win?
	What are you going to do?
	And Ron Paul, again, he's like, get more votes?
	It's like, oh, really?
	Yeah, I know.
	Get more votes?
	Am I getting more votes?
	How can you argue with that?
	It's just beautiful.
	Go Ron Paul.
	Go Ron Paul.
	So I wanted to play the one last, and I'm never going to talk about it again, this wedding clip that I didn't collect.
	A standalone.
	The number one entertainment news is still the original Entertainment Tonight.
	And so now they've got Jane Seymour working for them on this particular show.
	And by the way, she looks beautiful.
	Jane Seymour, what is she, 63, 64?
	She's had some work done, let's face her.
	So what?
	No, I know, and she looks good.
	Whoever did the work has not made her look like a different person, which is the problem.
	No, she is beautiful.
	It's not a problem.
	This is anything but a problem.
	No, I say the people that look weird, you know, is the problem.
	So Jane Seymour, who is really a sharp operator...
	Yeah.
	She is, what is she doing working for entertainment tonight?
	I have no idea.
	But if you listen to this clip, apparently they've gone so far as to bring in a night vision group with cameras and everything to record this stuff going on at 2 in the morning.
	And this is like, this to me was the end of Ridiculous.
	Now, entertainment tonight.
	The most watched entertainment news magazine in the world.
	Mary Hart, Jane Seymour, Nancy O'Dell.
	The brand new shots of the bride with a bouquet, carrying a garment bag, lifting boxes, plus the best man, Prince Harry, and William and Kate in a Range Rover paying a visit to Westminster Abbey for their final run-through.
	Entertainment tonight at the Royal Rehearsal with night vision cameras.
	The carriages, the cavalry, the clip-clop of hundreds of horses.
	You cannot imagine how close we are to the Royal Wedding rehearsal.
	It's 2.45 in the morning.
	It is 4.32 right now.
	The all-night affair with E.T. cameras rolling.
	The Royal Wedding dress rehearsal is in full swing.
	How they tried to keep it a secret.
	There are fleas everywhere, but we are one of the few crews on the ground.
	The crowning of Queen Elizabeth.
	The lost footage you haven't seen in years.
	Taking her throne.
	The crown.
	The scepter.
	A young Prince Charles waving.
	The rampaging crowd.
	And it's tiara time.
	It's dying, Mary.
	Gorgeous.
	Did Mary and Jane try on the priceless tiara Kate may wear?
	I love the smell of diamonds.
	Beware.
	Now, in-depth on all the news from the Royal Wedding.
	Hello, everybody!
	Hello, everybody!
	No wonder no one listens to our show.
	We don't have this kind of promo.
	We suck.
	My guts, it's tiara time!
	I love the smell of diamonds in the morning.
	My God, that's professional!
	It's very slick.
	At the very beginning, and by the way, we should do our show this way, where there's just a bunch of nouns.
	The scepter, the crown, the veil.
	Hello, everybody!
	So, at the very beginning, when they're talking about Milton, I swear to God, she says, holding scepters, trying crowns, lifting putzes.
	We've got night vision goggles.
	She says lifting putzes.
	She's apparently, I guess, lifting putzes.
	I don't know.
	That's right.
	We've got night vision goggles.
	We're lifting putzes.
	It's tiara time.
	I love the smell of diamonds in the morning.
	Oh my god!
	In the morning!
	I love the smell of diamonds in the morning!
	What's great though is you hear our show and then you play a clip like that and then everyone, I think people then all of a sudden realize what is actually happening to them.
	The assault that is thrown at you when you keep, just turn the box off.
	Turn it off!
	Go and read a book!
	Really?
	Turn it off!
	Turn it off, please!
	I feel sorry for people that are addicted to that show.
	That show actually is really, it's taken back.
	You know, Extra, I thought it was getting the jazzier openings, but Entertainment Tonight has picked up their game.
	Oh, they're kicking ass.
	Well, you know, they're kicking ass.
	ABC, by the way, had a very interesting piece, and I think a lot of people emailed about this, as the control grid starts to close in on us once again.
	This is, and I looked this company up, of course.
	Because that's what no one will do.
	I mean, there's certainly not any so-called journalists.
	This is a little gizmo from Unique Solutions Incorporated.
	And the compromised ABC Good Morning America was happy to demonstrate it for us.
	Consider a woman with a 27-inch waist.
	And Marc Jacobs, she'd wear an 8 or a 10.
	But a Chico's, that same woman, is a triple zero.
	But now, this device will size you up.
	Literally.
	It's called My Best Fit.
	Shoppers stand in this kiosk in the middle of the mall.
	Step on inside.
	And assume the position.
	Think TSA minus the fun pat-down.
	How beautiful is that?
	Unbelievable!
	This is the winner of the day.
	This is the full-on body scanner that sizes you so you never have to worry about getting the wrong...
	You don't even have to go into the dressing room anymore because...
	This is reminding me of the days in the 50s, the 40s and 50s, where you go to a shoe store.
	Yeah, Keds.
	Or was it Kinney's?
	And you put your feet into the fluoroscope and get your feet x-rayed to crap so you can see how well the...
	The shoe fits.
	And now you walk with a limp, right?
	Oh yeah.
	I love how she said...
	And no toes.
	Let me just hear that little bit again.
	Because it was so beautiful what she said.
	Think TSA without the groovy groping or whatever she says.
	Unbelievable.
	And in this kiosk in the middle of the mall.
	Step on inside.
	And assume the position.
	Assume the position, slave.
	Bend over, assume the position.
	Think TSA minus the fun pat-down.
	Oh, the fun pat-down.
	The fun pat-down.
	What bunch of subtle propaganda we have here?
	Subtle?
	Subtle?
	Okay, it's outrageous.
	Thank you.
	First of all, you have the booth, which is a, you know, so when you go to the airport, you think, well, it's like a fitting room.
	It's like when they sized me up.
	And, oh, I could have the fun pat-down, one of the two.
	Isn't that fun pat-down?
	What is wrong with these people?
	Okay, so I'm not even going to play the rest of the clip because I'm so sick and tired of it.
	However, I did look up this company, Unique Solutions.
	So here's how it works.
	RapaScan's the name, right?
	No, no.
	And I don't know what kind of technology they're using.
	They don't really say it on their website.
	There's VC money in this.
	So what happens is, and I'm like, okay, so these are not cheap machines, no matter what you say.
	And they've got them in malls all across America.
	Now, of course, what they actually want is they want to get, this is biometric data.
	I mean, they're taking a picture of your body.
	And they are building a database and also at the same time conditioning you to feel really groovy about all of this.
	So let me just read you Unique Solutions.
	They have been leading a revolution in personalized shopping since 1994.
	So they've been around for a while.
	They do 3D body imaging and data capture.
	They've been doing this for more than a decade.
	Here it is.
	We hold the largest database of body measurements that reflect the true size and shape of today's consumer.
	The largest database.
	Right?
	You with me?
	Yeah.
	And then we look down a little bit further.
	There's a bunch of...
	Let me just read this.
	What they do.
	Unique licenses its customer measurement database for use in body research and technical design applications.
	This data could also be licensed in aggregate to apparel brands or used for marketing to consumers through their affiliate programs through our My Best Fed service.
	And here it comes.
	The data may also be valuable to direct marketers in fitness, health, pharmaceuticals, and other industries like Department of Homeland Security.
	Yeah, there is that.
	Now, there is that.
	Bodies do have these dummies that people...
	Put dresses around and they change every year.
	You have to buy a new one every so often if you were a dressmaker.
	Some of this argument is valid and logical and I can see people using it, especially manufacturers of clothes.
	But the thing about the person actually going into these, they used to find other ways of measuring the average woman.
	What does a six look like?
	Is their butt down by the ground?
	Is their butt up in the air?
	You know, all this sort of thing.
	And so they had to make these dummies for that.
	But the myth here, the thing I think that the shoppers are getting screwed on this deal is that It's pointless to have somebody say you're a 6 or a 5 or a 4 or a 3 or whatever you are because all the sizes that they phony up the numbers on the dress, you actually still have to try the dresses on in your size range.
	No, you're wrong.
	No, you're wrong.
	I'm sorry, you're wrong.
	Because what they do is they recommend...
	This is how they make money.
	Of course, they don't.
	They make money by selling all this data.
	What they're saying is it recommends to each individual manufacturer.
	And so it works.
	I mean, of course it works.
	What's the point of the person?
	What is the point of some woman going into the machine?
	To get her biometric data so we can track your ass through satellite technology at the Department of Homeland Security.
	That's the point.
	But it does work.
	No, I'm saying, what is the point from her perspective?
	So you don't have to worry about sizes anymore.
	If you listen to the whole thing, if you can actually sit through the stupid Good Morning America crap.
	Yeah, it is.
	You're right.
	I'm going to show my salute by donating to No Agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh yeah, that'd be crap.
	Yeah, on No Agenda.
	So besides the members of our 300 Club, we do have our regular members and producers that have donated to help the show get done.
	And we're going to name a few of them now.
	Tyler Gieski.
	What?
	Nothing.
	I'm sorry.
	I'm ill.
	I'm just snorting.
	I'll close the mic.
	Snorting.
	Gajewski, Tyler Gajewski in Green Bay, Wisconsin, home of the Green Bay Packers.
	Oh, thank you for that, Diddy.
	You believe me, this kid's a Packers fan.
	He donated 75 bucks.
	He's a student.
	I want to make that clear.
	Another student.
	He'll be graduating in spring, even though I don't have a lot of money to do it on it.
	I figured it would be a good time to donate to this excellent show.
	He could really use some karma for his job search.
	Okay, here we go.
	You've got karma.
	So I don't become a complete slave to student loans.
	We have to do more on the student loan scandal.
	You know, it is horrible what's happening.
	These kids come out of school, they have no job, and they have...
	And indebted.
	Yeah, like $200,000.
	And then because they can't pay off the student loan right away, their interest rate goes through the ceiling by contract.
	It's called slavery.
	Anyway, we did play the medicine song a little earlier.
	Aaron Correll in Riverside, California, $69.73 in the morning from KC6GVG, which has a, you can say that in, you can say it.
	Keto, Charlie, Sticks, Golf, Victor, Golf.
	There you go.
	And Gitmo Nation, i.e.
	Inland Empire.
	Right now.
	With this auspicious episode of 299 comes my donation of 69er.
	Please de-douche me and give all of us, yourselves included, some karma.
	Give a double shot.
	You've been de-douched karma.
	Whoa, razor sharp.
	Razor sharp.
	Working on his white trash 401k plan, a lotto.
	So when I win big, he'll send us some more.
	The karma is meant.
	That's pathetic.
	Matt Turney, Saucier, Mississippi, 6521.
	Thomas Brennan, Massapiqua, New York.
	Hey, John and Adam, I've been listening to the show since November.
	I figured it was time to donate.
	I just wanted to ask for some karma.
	Though, because I was diagnosed with cancer in February and I need to finish paying his treatment, hopefully to be on track to starting college back in September.
	Well, we're going to...
	Fuck, I hate that shit.
	Of course, man.
	Here's karma for you.
	Fuck cancer!
	You've got karma.
	Sorry, trying to keep the show straight, but I hate that.
	What?
	Hate what?
	Cancer!
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, I'm sure he doesn't feel too good about it.
	Mark De Bruun.
	De Bruun.
	Mark De Bruun.
	You don't have to be nasty about it.
	Mark De Bruun.
	Mark De Bruun.
	De Bruun.
	Everybody, when you're speaking Dutch, you have to sound like you're mad at someone.
	Rijswijk.
	Oh, jeez.
	5555.
	Charles A. Rovira, Jersey City, New Jersey.
	Shout out for MSB podcast, my old podcast for MSers.
	It's a multiple sclerosis podcast.
	Keep up the good work and I'll donate to a knighthood.
	Charles Rovira, 55.
	Double nickels on the dime from him.
	Cool.
	Francis Pruel.
	Proul. Proul. Proul. Proul.
	Pruel.
	It's a French thing.
	Yeah, Pruel.
	You gotta roll the R in the back.
	Yeah, there you go.
	Montreal, Connecticut.
	Happy, John.
	Hi, John.
	I'm happy to make my fifth donation to the show, Double Nickels on the Dime.
	As a founding producer, I've been listening to the show since the very first episode.
	I've been listening to the DSC since 2004, and I'm asking two small things in return.
	Some karma and a quick plug for an iPhone app I've been working on called Omnidar.
	Omnidar.
	Omnidar.
	O-M-N-I-D-A-R. You can find it at the App Store.
	It's a fun and simple app you can use to pull pranks on your friends.
	Good.
	I should show this on the Big App Show.
	That'll be fun.
	Yeah, show it.
	It says he's got a bullshit meter.
	Perfect.
	You can hold it up and it goes bullshit.
	Here's some karma for you, buddy.
	Omnidar.
	I'll check it out.
	You've got karma.
	Karma for you, my friend.
	Jay Ivory in Niceville, Florida.
	Near celebration?
	Send double nickels on the dime.
	Second time contribution.
	Congrats on reaching episode 300 this week.
	Please mention the bug lady, Jennifer Ivory at InsectWorks.com.
	My husband and I will be in Birmingham this weekend for the Magic City Art Show.
	In the morning, she says.
	In the morning!
	White hat Jen from Gitmo Nation, Lowlands, Ultrecht.
	White hat, white hat, Jean.
	Jean.
	Jean needs some karma.
	Jean.
	Jean Here it comes.
	You've got karma.
	What was that?
	You okay?
	I clicked a button and the next thing you know...
	Did you just roll over and like croak?
	I hit the button.
	It reordered the spreadsheet.
	Scott Ritchie from Moreno Valley, California.
	There we go.
	I'm back.
	Got my middle name, which is Scott.
	My dad's first name was Alan and I suppose they didn't want...
	Ma calling for Alan to come get dirty and yours truly showing up.
	Didn't want mom to call dad.
	Oh, I see.
	To get dirty, know what I'm saying?
	Yeah, here he is.
	Anyway, who knows what the hell they were thinking.
	Please tell Adam in regards to smoking again.
	Welcome back to the dark side, baby.
	Thanks.
	Not poor, but broke.
	And there's not much smoking going on these days, I'll tell you.
	I would think.
	Now with that lung condition.
	Acme, Alberta, Canada.
	Arthur Kessler.
	Barry Wilson.
	Sir Barry, as a matter of fact.
	Coffs Harbor, New South Wales.
	John Lake, Sacramento.
	Peter Totes in Sugar Land, Texas.
	Sugar Land!
	And Scott Michaelcheck.
	He's all donating.
	These are all $50 donors.
	The donation is for Adam helping me selectively disable push notifications in Pocket No Agenda.
	Oh, that's right.
	We have the new Pocket No Agenda has different show notifications.
	Remember I told you about that?
	Very cool.
	Yeah, I think you talked about that last time.
	Yeah, so he was like, if you don't turn them on or off selectively, then the thing's going off all the time because we've got all these great shows at noagendastream.com.
	And he's like, you're going crazy with that stuff.
	Well, no, dude, you just turn off the ones you don't want to hear about.
	So it's all cool.
	It's all good.
	It's all good.
	I tell you, it's all good.
	And so that ends our donation segment for today's show.
	We want to thank everybody, especially everyone who also subscribed and did a combo for us because the subscriptions are meaningful.
	And we got one more show before we do show.
	No, this is it.
	This is it.
	This is the show we're doing before.
	This is $2.99.
	We're on the $300.
	To help us out, go to NoAgendaShow.com.
	How about this one?
	Dvorak.org slash NA. I've heard of that.
	Yeah, I've heard of that too.
	We cannot express our thanks enough, but of course it's value for value.
	We're doing the work.
	We're doing the research.
	And listening to two hours of Bernanke.
	That is painful.
	There's no doubt about it.
	The big money guys don't do it.
	I got my blade, man.
	You got your blade there?
	Hang on.
	Okay, good.
	Don't hurt yourself now.
	Jason Southwell, please step forward, sir, as you have reached the giving level sufficient to make you a knight of the No Agenda Roundtable.
	We're very happy to have you on board, which means the forthcoming knight rings.
	One of them will come into your possession as you kneel, and we hereby pronounce the Sir Jason Southwell, Knight of the No Agenda Roundtable.
	Please, sir, come over here.
	We've got your cabinet and rent points, your hookers and blow everything you need.
	It's right here.
	You are now part of that club!
	Oh, an extra twist there on the knighthood.
	Nice.
	So, um...
	Very good.
	I have a couple of things here that...
	Isn't this the second half of the show?
	Don't I get to go?
	I think you did your second half of the show already.
	I just have a couple of little items.
	I want to just change the pace a little bit.
	I got a couple of commercials.
	I have the...
	Stop teasing it.
	Let's just get to it.
	You know, you can always tell what the audience is like by the commercials, right?
	Right.
	Here's the Not a Drug ad on CNN. First time I've heard it.
	Quite interesting.
	Why do I feel lost?
	Should I change careers?
	Is this true love?
	I need someone to listen.
	California Psychics has been helping people just like you since 1995.
	Call now to have one of our friendly customer care representatives find the perfect psychic for you.
	Or browse bios online and get to know our psychics.
	Our psychics are screened and tested for accuracy, ability, and a desire to help others.
	The psychics are linked to you from across the country.
	We found that when a psychic is in their own home environment, they're the most effective.
	when they're not taking porn calls for their other business.
	Your calls are secure, discreet, and confidential.
	Our top-rated psychics and customer care team are available 24-7.
	New customers try us for just a dollar per minute.
	If your psychic reading is not the best you've ever experienced, it's free.
	California Psychics.
	The best, or it's free.
	Yeah, that's awesome.
	So, wow.
	I often wonder, you know, I'm watching a show that apparently people who call psychic hotlines watch, and I'm like, what am I doing?
	There's something wrong with me.
	Wow, my goodness.
	CNN. Wow.
	This was during Anderson Cooper.
	Oh, of course.
	Well, of course, his audience is totally into that.
	Yeah, this is why people don't like him in the news business.
	I guess.
	And by the way, all those people, they get to vote too.
	And I, by the way, like the fact that they got drug commercial music playing D-D-D-D-D-D in the background to give you that drug commercial quality.
	That's a beautiful thing.
	Anyway.
	Well, do you want to do more?
	I mean, or is it my turn?
	I got a drug ad that's kind of interesting.
	I do have a new Abilify.
	Abilify came out with a new ad.
	Now, Abilify is the stuff, it's like a hamburger helper for your existing drugs, right?
	Yeah, you have a condition called depression.
	Yeah.
	And you're still depressed because you're taking too many pills and you take this, add another one.
	But this was a weird commercial because this is the updated version of the commercial.
	It's a cartoon.
	This is new, by the way.
	This is breaking new grounds for drug commercials.
	Nice.
	It's a cartoon.
	Is it for the kids?
	Is that what it is for?
	Well, I don't know, but the woman's a cartoon, and every time she talks about depression, it starts off with a hole next to her, and this weird-looking amoeba-like bug.
	A hole?
	A hole?
	A hole.
	Like a hole that she's falling into in her depression?
	No, she's looking into the hole and this bug, this huge-looking amoeba-like bug comes out with two eyeballs and smiles at her.
	It represents depression.
	And when she starts taking the bilify, the thing shrinks but keeps following her around as kind of a shrunken version of its old self.
	And is constantly making faces.
	Like, oh, I'm so sad.
	I'm a sad depression because she's getting rid of me.
	But I'm going to hang out.
	And so it's following her around.
	Meanwhile, when the drug guy comes up with all the disclaimers, it's not like a voiceover.
	Out of the blue, in some bizarre hallucination, she pulls down a movie screen, one of those kind you used to have in high school that had three legs and a tripod.
	She pulls down a screen, a doctor appears on the screen, another cartoon, and he reads her the contraindications.
	This is fantastic.
	I can't wait.
	Learn about a free trial offer from Abilify.
	Here's me, and here's my depression.
	Before I started taking Abilify, I was taking an antidepressant alone.
	Most days I could put on a brave face and muddle through, but other days I still struggled with my depression.
	I was managing, but it always had a way of creeping up on me.
	I felt stuck.
	I just couldn't shake my depression.
	So I talked to my doctor.
	He said adding Abilify to my antidepressant could help with my depression, and that some people had symptom improvement as early as one to two weeks.
	He also told me about a free trial offer from Abilify.
	Now, I feel more in control of my depression.
	Abilify is not for everyone.
	Call your doctor if your depression worsens or if you have unusual changes in behavior or thoughts of suicide.
	Antidepressants can increase these in children, teens, and young adults.
	Elderly dementia patients taking Abilify have an increased risk of death or stroke.
	I'm sorry.
	I can't.
	I just can't listen to it anymore.
	It's like, that's the guy on the screen.
	Elderly patients who are fucking retarded, you might die.
	Call your doctor if you have high fever, stiff muscles, and confusion to address a possible...
	I have confusion!
	I must call my doctor.
	Really?
	Oh, I got that.
	I love, like, the Muppet...
	Theme song.
	It sounds like something Sarah, what's that, the comedian?
	Sarah Silverman?
	Silver Silverman would play.
	Seizures, trouble swallowing, and impaired judgment or motor skills.
	Depression used to define me.
	But now I have impaired motor skills.
	And my doctor added a vilify to my antidepressant.
	Now I feel better.
	Call now for information and a free trial offer from Abilify.
	Boom!
	Alright.
	So if you're going to have impaired motor skills and confusion, how are you supposed to call your doctor?
	I can't remember his name and I can't find the buttons on the phone.
	I'm confused.
	Wow.
	Alright, I've got to do some actual news here because this is just making me crazy.
	So, this is news that comes to us from Canada.
	Because there's still some real reporting going on out there.
	So, while all of these distractions are happening, while we have the royal wedding, I'm dizzy again, John.
	I think I have to call my doctor.
	My vilify is confusing me.
	Did you hear about this minor...
	It's just a small news story, just a little thing.
	It's a minor, minor thing about 500 Taliban leaders who dug a half-kilometer tunnel and escaped...
	Just picture the hole and the guy standing over it, the cop standing over the hole.
	Escaped from, like, cold dits.
	It's like, are you kidding me?
	500.
	500 Taliban...
	I didn't see anything.
	It's like, what is this?
	Hogan's Heroes?
	What is this show?
	Hogan's Heroes couldn't do 500.
	So, of course, I look everywhere.
	I look everywhere for the news story, and the only place I can find anything is on the Canadian CBC. It's an act reminiscent of the Great Escape.
	Right there.
	It's like, it's an act.
	Okay, just so you know, it's an act because the whole thing is set up and rigged.
	That could have dire consequences for security forces in Afghanistan.
	Security.
	Nearly 500 Taliban insurgents escaped from Kandahar's Sarposa prison this morning, right under the noses of prison guards and NATO forces.
	A handmade tunnel dug into the prison that took months to create allowed the prisoners to take flight.
	The second time, hundreds of insurgents have escaped from the prison in the last three years.
	Toria Le Huesa is the governor of Kandahar.
	Now, I don't know where this guy came from, but this guy is hilarious.
	Again, you don't need to watch Chloe and Lamar.
	The funniness is just in the truth of the world.
	We reached him in Kandahar City, Afghanistan.
	Hello?
	Hello, Kandahar?
	Kandahar, are you there?
	Governor Wessa, how was the Taliban able to do this prison bust?
	Well, that's really a question that you should ask the Taliban.
	How did they do it?
	You should be asking the Taliban!
	I don't know!
	Hilarious.
	The Taliban, no?
	Hey, Mr.
	Taliban, Taliban banana!
	So, I mean...
	It was a new technique.
	It was...
	A new technique!
	We used the spoon!
	A new technique!
	It's a hole!
	A new method we adopted, which worked for them.
	A new method!
	A new method!
	Please!
	Let me just get the...
	So we got 500 guys.
	They're sitting around.
	This is literally like...
	This is Hogan's Heroes.
	This is Kolditz.
	Escape from Kolditz.
	Like, hey...
	I got a spoon.
	Yeah, I got a spoon.
	Let's dig a hole.
	And how are we going to get rid of the dirt?
	There's all these little minor questions, but it's a new technique apparently.
	Have you been able to see the tunnel?
	Have you been able to see the tunnel?
	Not myself.
	I saw it on TV. Why is this idiot on?
	This is the best I could find about this amazing escape.
	I didn't go personally, but the mission was there.
	I did back some photos and videos.
	So I looked at that.
	And what does it look like?
	It looks like a hole!
	It is coming from outside, like probably around 700 meters to the south of the prison.
	It is coming to one of the rooms in which there were political prisoners.
	Right into the room where the political prisoners are.
	Right.
	And that's a cement floor, so how are they able to dig down through that cement and open that mouth of the tunnel?
	Is this real?
	Is this an actual interview with the governor of Kandahar?
	Where we have NATO troops, the best our countries can provide, protecting Taliban leaders?
	What?
	That was not a very strong cement.
	That was just like probably...
	About an inch.
	Oh, it was not strong cement, John.
	It was just an inch or so.
	I don't even believe there's a tunnel.
	I think they just let these guys out and just made the whole tunnel up.
	I'm not even believing.
	I've seen the picture of the hole.
	On TV! Of course.
	Yeah, on TV, same as him.
	And it's a hole, and you don't know.
	Does anybody go in there to check it out?
	I don't know.
	It doesn't sound like it.
	Yeah, I think you're right.
	I think the whole thing is bull crap.
	So, not more than that.
	And it's close to the water, you know, so it's easy to dig.
	And now he's just high.
	Now he's just smoking opium.
	What?
	But Governor, this is a tunnel that's probably, by varying estimates, to be about half a kilometer long.
	It goes out of the prison and it goes past security checkpoints and a highway.
	How do you think that no one was able to notice anything was going on over the five or seven months it took to build the tunnel?
	Answer that.
	Yeah, that was a surprise for us, too.
	I tell you, we were really surprised about that.
	I was really surprised.
	Oh my god.
	As an end of show clip, I've got a follow up with this guy from the next day.
	He was so good.
	The ratings were so stellar after he was on.
	They're like, hey, bring that governor guy back from Kandahar.
	It's hilarious.
	He's awesome.
	So they brought him on again.
	And I'll play that as an end of the show clip.
	So of course, first of all, if the actual tunnel was built, it was dug from the outside.
	But the guy in the end of the show clip, he talks about how they hid the dirt.
	Because it's not insignificant.
	If you ever watch those escape movies of World War II, they got...
	They're walking around the yard and they're letting sand out of their underpants down their pant leg.
	And this is an amazing operation.
	So I think the whole thing is bogus.
	There's no tunnel.
	I agree.
	It sounds bogus to me.
	I just let all these guys out.
	No one's going to notice 500 guys?
	That's a huge contingent of people roaming around or leaving or disappearing from the place.
	I mean, come on.
	It's just hilarious.
	Now, meanwhile, there's another little ditty.
	As we had a celebrity ambassador show up.
	What's his name?
	We both got this...
	Yeah.
	Ryan Gosling.
	Yeah.
	Who is now the ambassador to the Eastern Congo.
	And once again, that douchebag is his handler.
	Yeah, Prendergast.
	Prendergast, the same guy who handles George Clooney.
	Right.
	So I have some actual news from a British journalist in the Congo.
	Now, shall we just discuss the Congo for a moment?
	Now, of course, we are bombing...
	Libya.
	Surgical strikes on Libya's, the evil headquarters of Gaddafi.
	Because he's horrible and he's, you know, massacre and killing people and the path to Persia marches, we're going to do the same in Syria.
	So I guess that, you know, as good Samaritans, we should do this for every country around the world.
	Should we not, John?
	If, like, there was a massacre going on, you know, like, you know, they say never again.
	Oh, yeah, I think if you've got more than 10,000 people, for example, being just butchered by their government, I think we should jump in.
	Yeah, do you think five million would suffice?
	Would that be good?
	Would that be good enough?
	Five million.
	Do you think five million would be good enough for douchebag McCain to go visit the Congo?
	You think that would be okay there, McCain boy?
	Five million.
	Five million.
	Yeah, let's have a listen.
	And just to tell you briefly about one of the other wars we're involved in, intimately involved in, it's the worst war in the world in terms of death.
	I reported on it in 2008.
	It's the war in the Congo.
	It's very hard to give people a sense of how horrific the war in the Congo is.
	It's been the deadliest since then.
	Now, by the way, this is some shocking stuff he's going to talk about.
	Seriously, I'm not kidding.
	So you just want to be, like, prepared for what he says.
	Five million people have died.
	You go there and...
	You know, you go to any hospital in eastern Congo, you say, show me around, they'll say, sure, do you want to see the ward for the children who've been stabbed or for the women who've been gang raped and shot in the vagina?
	It's the utmost unimaginably vicious war.
	Now, what is this all about?
	So, who's in the Congo, John?
	Who's in the Congo?
	Who's in the Congo?
	Yeah, you know who's in the Congo.
	The Chinese.
	The Chinese are in the Congo.
	Of course they are.
	The Chinese are in the Congo.
	By the way, it was the Belgians who raped the Congo first.
	It's kind of fitting they have no government now.
	Of course, those people now have nothing to do with that.
	From 1908 to 1960, it was the Belgian Congo.
	They raped it.
	They totally...
	And they were killing people.
	They were just like...
	And British too, right?
	They were just going and just...
	And they were doing the exact same thing the Chinese are doing, but I guess we're too chicken crap to go in and kick the Chinese ass as they're killing people.
	And what are they killing people for?
	Well, that's really interesting.
	We know what the war is for.
	We know how it's been caused.
	The UN had a major investigation into it, and they said...
	The words they used were...
	Armies of business have invaded Congo to pillage its resources and sell them to the knowing West.
	Basically, the most valuable thing they get from Congo is coltan, which is used to make metal in the mobile phone I'm talking to you on now.
	Games, consoles, laptops.
	It's a really important metal for the global economy.
	We can get it from loads of places, but it's actually very cheap to get it from Congo.
	What happened is we went in and the war is a war to control the mines that give us our condo.
	The UN explained very clearly, you know, they listed all the major Western corporations responsible.
	They said if you choke off the supply, it will end the war.
	We've refused to do it.
	So if we were so concerned about humanitarianism that we would be prepared to bomb other people, surely we would start by simply stopping our corporations going and causing the worst war in the world.
	So now we've got Ryan Gosling, who I'm sure will produce some puff pieces of bull crap, so we're actually placated and think, oh yeah, don't worry about the Congo, because Ryan Gosling's there.
	It's all taken care of.
	It's all covered.
	I don't even know who Ryan Gosling is.
	He's an actor.
	Yeah, well, I know he's an actor, but it's not like if I saw him walking down the street that I'd say, oh, look, Ryan Gosling.
	Well, first of all, you'd be pronouncing his name weird.
	I don't know.
	I don't know who he is either.
	I don't care.
	Let me take a look.
	Ryan Gosling campaigns against Congo's conflict of minerals.
	Let's see.
	He made a video during his trip, which is unwatchable.
	I tried to clip something from him.
	It's just like, you know, black people crying.
	Raise hope for Congo.
	Please stop this bloody business.
	I don't know what Gosling does.
	He's a bee.
	Yeah, he's a B or a C level guy.
	He's not like a Clooney.
	I don't know why they couldn't get somebody better.
	Were we looking at some woman a couple weeks ago and she was going to do the Congo and she must have gone down and said, oh my god, I'm not doing this.
	Judd, right?
	Ashley Judd.
	Yeah, she must have taken one look and said, I'm out of here.
	I'm not doing this.
	And by the way, there's no mention of her in this article.
	There you go.
	She bailed.
	Of course you bailed.
	It's horrible.
	The stuff that's going on there is outrageous.
	And by the way, if you want to stop this, throw out your iPhone.
	Throw out your Apple.
	Your Mac.
	That's what this is about.
	We're evil.
	People are evil.
	Nobody means to be.
	What do you mean no one means to be?
	Hillary Clinton?
	Nobody knows.
	This information is kept from people.
	Nobody knows that their iPhone is, you know, probably some dead African is in there.
	Oh my God.
	He's not in there.
	That's horrible.
	The Democratic Republic of the Condo is also huge.
	Oh yeah, it's like twice the size of...
	How big is it actually?
	This looks like it's about twice the size of Texas.
	Yeah, so that's what I was going to say.
	I think it may even be bigger than that.
	The total area is 2.3 square kilometers.
	Yeah, that really helps me.
	2.3 million square kilometers.
	900 million square miles.
	Wow.
	No, I'm sorry, 900,000 square miles.
	900 million is the whole we have to earth.
	900,000 square miles.
	What is Texas?
	I don't know, but Texas ain't that big.
	So, what I'll say is, when people say to us, you know, I don't listen to any other news source, that's it, because you don't have to.
	Because we are giving you the actual news.
	Now, this will never make it into mainstream.
	I can see Anderson Cooper.
	Please, Anderson Cooper, where are you, Mr.
	Humanitarian?
	Why don't you show these women who have been shot?
	Okay, it's 900,000 square miles.
	Texas is 268,000 square miles.
	So it's three times the size of Texas, which is big.
	Yeah, that's huge.
	That is huge.
	Hey, so I just got to lighten it up because that really bummed me out, that clip.
	No, seriously.
	Thanks for livening up the show so we can walk away happy.
	No, but you know, we got to do this too.
	It's important.
	Yeah, we got to get on this Congo thing.
	This is a big deal.
	Yeah, it is a huge deal.
	And the more information the producers can find about it, the better.
	Remember, no agenda...
	Nobody else is covering it.
	No one.
	Where's Anderson Cooper?
	Douche.
	Vanderbilt.
	I heart AC 360.
	Be nice to Anderson.
	They're picking on him.
	Noagendanewsnetwork.com.
	If you want to contribute, just send me an email and put No Agenda News Network in the subject.
	You've got more and more people coming on every single day.
	It's a great resource.
	It is totally all No Agenda all the time.
	It's fantastic.
	So we had two, not one, but two of our producers.
	As you know, our listeners are not listeners.
	They're producers.
	They're active in the cause of getting true information out there.
	Who completely found what's going on with the Alzheimer's thing, John.
	Now, we've noticed that there's been a huge push about Alzheimer's.
	I had a clip of Larry King on the Jimmy Kimmel show last night.
	Oh, do you have it?
	Do you have the clip?
	No, I didn't take it because it wasn't interesting.
	It was just mentioned in passing, but go on.
	So it's everywhere.
	Oh yeah.
	Grey's Anatomy, which I had actually hoped you would have a clip of that.
	You know, I don't watch Grey's Anatomy.
	I don't watch it either.
	People say it's about Grey's Anatomy because they're pushing it, but Larry King is doing a special this Sunday on Alzheimer's.
	Oh really?
	Yeah, on CNN. Oh really?
	Oh jeez.
	So of course there's a dual agenda.
	Obviously, on one hand, they're talking about, oh, we've got this vaccine coming out, and in two years we can solve Alzheimer's.
	They've downgraded the diagnosis for Alzheimer's.
	We talked about this on the last show.
	So now if you just seem a little confused, Alzheimer's.
	Immediately, you got Alzheimer's.
	So this, of course, is the pharmaceutical industry gearing up for a bonanza.
	Free publicity.
	A total bonanza on this vaccine, which may or may not help.
	I mean, Alzheimer's is a horrible disease.
	I've seen it.
	It sucks.
	But they're getting ready for this bonanza.
	And, of course, we cannot forget that we have a new movie coming out this year.
	And this is a movie where we discover a vaccine for Alzheimer's.
	You like this?
	You like where it's going?
	Go on.
	A vaccine for Alzheimer's.
	And it's a fantastic, beautiful vaccine.
	Unfortunately, it accelerates the brain growth in apes.
	And it's tested on apes.
	And here's a little bit of the trailer.
	It's the rise of the planet of the apes.
	This drug allows the brain to repair itself.
	We call it the cure.
	What's the cure?
	We're ready to move on to the next phase.
	That's right.
	Tested on gorillas.
	Coming August 5th.
	This one.
	Is this wrong, Will?
	You have the potential to change lives.
	That's right!
	Some things aren't meant to be changed.
	Alright, so of course you've got to see the trailer for it really to take effect, and of course then the apes take over.
	And this is a big movie.
	I have always wondered how the apes took over in the first place.
	Now I know.
	It's the rise of the Planet of the Apes.
	So it's a double whammy, ladies and gentlemen.
	Well, we got the Larry King thing coming up this Sunday.
	And by the way, it's James Franco.
	This is like an Oscar award winner.
	This is not like John Lithgow.
	I mean, this is a huge movie.
	So no wonder.
	No wonder they're pushing it.
	It's always about a movie.
	Fantastic.
	Movies and drugs, that seems to be the main thing.
	Within the countries, it's movies and drugs and distractions, and outside the country, it's oil and war.
	Yeah, well, we have some more promotion for the...
	Hey, what happened?
	Oh, there it is.
	Some more promotion for vaccines brought to us on the number one show in the nation, which, of course, is Glee!
	Wait, I get the three of you being on the team.
	Is it because two of them are Asian and already wears glasses?
	No.
	No.
	Britney?
	Liz Schneider was our fourth, but she got rubella.
	Her parents are hippies who don't believe in vaccinations.
	That's right.
	Hippies who don't believe in vaccinations.
	She got rubella.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Just out of the blue, I thought that clip was funny because it was just like...
	Boom!
	They just dropped this bomb out of the blue.
	By the way, if you're against vaccines, you're hippie.
	You're hippie.
	Crazy hippie.
	You're old-fashioned and a hippie.
	It's all wrong.
	Oh, by the way, I do have...
	It's all wrong.
	I have to mention a couple people that I forgot to mention because of the...
	Oh, what did you forget?
	Oh, no.
	Did you forget some 300 people?
	No, actually, this is fine.
	This goes to show 300.
	There's a couple guys that mail this checks, and I'm just going to mention them on Sunday on the show 300.
	I thought that was for $2.99, but not.
	Anyway, so we have today, of course, the Great Central U.S. ShakeOut.
	John, you've heard of this, I'm sure.
	It's already actually taken place.
	This is the drill that FEMA and the Army and the National Guard...
	Which usually is a prelude to an earthquake, of course.
	Well, of course it is.
	And this is what it's about.
	You see, here's my theory on this.
	It is the second half of the show, after all.
	So you have to go to shakeout.org.
	And it's all over the place.
	Over 3 million people in 11 states practice drop, cover, and hold on!
	Which is the slogan.
	Drop cover and hold on!
	Hold on to what?
	Hold on to your ass.
	I don't know.
	Let me see.
	They should have a cartoon.
	Oh, they do.
	Hold on a second.
	Learn about drop cover and hold on.
	Let's see what this is.
	Hold on a second.
	There's some video here.
	I didn't even see this.
	Let's see.
	MySafeLA.
	Drop cover and hold on!
	Let's see.
	Earthquake Awareness and Preparedness Week.
	Oh, that's showing some devastation video here.
	That's always nice.
	January 17th, 1994.
	Northridge, California.
	Dead people.
	Scientists know that when it comes to earthquakes in Southern California, it's not a matter of if, but when.
	It's when!
	So, of course, John, you will recall, drop and cover, drop and cover, right?
	This is when you were a kid, right?
	Yeah.
	You get under the desk and they did this to us every couple of days.
	And what was it for?
	What was it for?
	Well, in case the Russians attacked with their A-bombs, we'd be safe somehow.
	So it's for war.
	For war.
	For war.
	Right.
	So, what's happening here is we are in an earthquake machine war.
	We are using weather modification.
	The Chinese have demonstrated it by doing it to Japan.
	Just second half of the show stuff.
	This is just Adam's theory.
	You don't have to buy into it.
	You can do all the slide whistle stuff you want.
	And so now, of course, we have an obligation to protect our human resources because they have actual value, $9.1 million, and that's what we borrow against.
	And so, you know, they know that there's a war going on and we are going to be struck by an earthquake It's falsely generated by some foreign entity, and so we have to teach the slaves once again to drop and cover, and now it's hold on.
	It's the same thing.
	They had to add something new.
	Of course they had to add something new.
	Where's this taking place?
	In 11 states.
	Just everywhere?
	I mean, just, you know, random places?
	Is there any specific location?
	Well, no, it's in the central U.S., of course, and I've already...
	I'll tell you what it is.
	Here are the states.
	It's...
	This is the...
	So it's the whole entire mid-U.S. Central U.S., I'm sorry.
	For earthquakes?
	Yes.
	Yeah, Arkansas and stuff.
	It's been predicted, man.
	Where you been, boy?
	Here we go.
	So we've got all of California.
	In fact, John, it's Northern California.
	Did you not participate in the drill this morning at 10.15?
	I was doing the show.
	Shut up.
	Well, then you missed your opportunity to drop cover and hold on.
	I do that every time we do the show.
	Hey, let's play the quake quiz.
	Cool.
	The quake quiz.
	This is hilarious.
	This is great.
	I wonder if there's any sound.
	Oh, I wish there were sound.
	This is a test.
	Click each scene to test how your quake knowledge and learn how you can get prepared for an earthquake in San Francisco.
	Begin.
	Okay.
	So what do we have here?
	Why don't they have any sound?
	That's kind of lame.
	Oh, you're sleeping in your bed.
	Oh, earthquake, earthquake, earthquake!
	What are you supposed to do?
	In the event of an earthquake while sleeping, A, roll onto the floor next to your bed, B, get in the doorway, or C, stay in your bed protecting your head with a pillow.
	I would say protect your head with a pillow.
	Okay, great job!
	You're correct!
	Really?
	That's amazing.
	Next.
	Access your surroundings and put on shoes before getting out of bed.
	The hell is that?
	Wow.
	What do you do with your pets?
	Tip six?
	Hell with them!
	Screw them!
	What about your kids?
	The hell with them!
	No, the kids, you gotta grab and get them out.
	Or put a pillow on their head.
	I don't know.
	What does it say?
	The Put a pillow on their head.
	Go in there.
	Go in there.
	Mommy, he's trying to kill us again!
	Shut up, kid.
	Wow.
	Well, we're all going to die.
	Anyway, so I hate to say it, but I am very, very bearish on this whole thing.
	I'm dizzy.
	I think you're actually bullish.
	No, I'm bearish on...
	Yeah, whatever.
	Let me just...
	I got just a quick...
	Monsanto will be allowed to conduct its own environmental studies of themselves as part of a two-year United States Department of Agriculture experiment.
	They're going to see if they can basically make sure that Monsanto essentially will now be in charge of making sure their products don't cause any environmental harm.
	I mean, let's not forget that Tom Vilsack, who is the head of the Secretary of Agriculture, is a Monsanto, ex-Monsanto guy.
	Yeah.
	And so he's in now, and he's saying, you know what, I have a great idea.
	Let's do a test, only a test, to see if Monsanto can police themselves.
	I'm sure they can do it.
	It'll be great.
	Meanwhile, you know, kids will be born with three heads.
	Yeah.
	I was talking about little interesting news items.
	There's a story, I guess it was underreported, but I ran into it in this old edition again of this Rock Creek Free Press.
	George W. Bush canceled his February 12th speech in Switzerland due to fear of his being arrested.
	Yeah, I remember that.
	Because they were going to arrest him for war crimes and send him to The Hague.
	I think every president since Clinton is going to have this problem.
	Yeah, well, that's why they don't all go to...
	Why do you think all the elites are in Switzerland?
	Because they know no one's going to show up.
	That's why Mark Rich and all those guys from Glencore are all in Switzerland, Zouk, Switzerland.
	Alright, anyway, last story.
	Do you have any 30s?
	Any 33s?
	Yeah, I got some 33s, but more importantly, a bill has been introduced, and this, of course, again, I'm just going to say, I mean, everyone laughs at me.
	I say, look, we've had moon bases for decades.
	They're up there.
	You know, they've been identified.
	And now, finally, we have a bill, which is going through the House right now, which would mandate that we build moon bases.
	I mean, actual moon bases.
	So the way this works, as usual, is have the moon base.
	People like me start uncovering it, talking about it.
	We might as well say, let's make it official.
	Yeah, here's a moon base.
	That's how it goes.
	But you don't have to believe me.
	Well, I'm glad you're back on the track there.
	I'm falling off the rails here.
	State regulators.
	State regulators list 33 ways EPA rules aren't working as a part of our magic numbers.
	Union Pacific profit trails estimates as fuel costs rise 33%.
	No.
	Yes.
	There's a little clue for you.
	That's right.
	Gasoline at 33-month high.
	Bristol-Myers Post's 33% profit jump.
	33 is the magic number.
	It's the magic number!
	That's right, it's the magic number everybody.
	And then there's a couple other things that you might want to check out in the show notes at NoAgendaShow.com.
	Great video, the first, the season opener of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution, where he shows you where your beef comes from.
	Please watch that.
	It's great.
	You can also find that at NoAgendaEntertainment.com.
	We have a whole network of awesome sites of people who support this program.
	There is now, finally, a low-sodium salt substitute, which is, you know, they've been working on this salt thing for so long as a part of the Codex Alimentarius.
	To get people to stop taking salt.
	CardioMate is apparently the brand that will be replacing our salt.
	So we finally have something now.
	CardioMate.
	Well, there's a couple more 33s.
	There's one to get out of the way.
	Sure.
	Just because it's financial, I'm going to probably do Horowitz tonight.
	Oh, okay.
	And so, you know, AT&T phone customers jumped 33% over Verizon.
	Amazon profits down 33%.
	American Express profit is up 33%.
	Nice.
	Crystal Meyer is also up 33%.
	So, the financial guys have got the same clues.
	Are you going to talk about that?
	No, we don't talk about such craziness.
	Oh, no.
	I mean, why do that?
	So, all right.
	Well, I think I've actually...
	I'm falling down now.
	Oh, by the way, the spam is down 33% after the Rust stock takedown.
	Oh, that's right.
	That's where the FBI now can legally invade your computer and just sit there and wait and make it turn into a honeypot.
	Yeah, we have to work on that.
	Yeah, we do.
	So we try to do what we can.
	We do, and sometimes we get duped, but I think we've had some revealing moments today during the program.
	John, as always, I appreciate not talking to you all week, except for during the show.
	It's so much more fun.
	And anybody out there, we mentioned a few things that if anyone's got some insight, we'd appreciate it.
	Yeah.
	Oh, and by the way, tomorrow is the big wedding.
	So get up at four in the morning and watch it.
	So remember, we've got the Afghanistan clip as the end of clip show.
	And after that, Mr.
	Oil's crude oil show on NoAgendaStream.com where you can always hear something awesome happening in the morning as it's in the morning somewhere.
	Coming to you from Gitmo Nation West in the People's Republic of Southern California where I am ready to drop cover and hold on.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And with no further ado, I'm in northern Silicon Valley.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.
	We'll be back here with show number 300, Sunday on No Agenda.
	The prison break in which suspected insurgents escaped from Sarposa Jail in Kandahar was stunning for more than one reason.
	The detainees spent months digging a tunnel, hundreds of them filed out through it, and no one did anything to stop them.
	As the governor of Canada told us yesterday, how they pulled it off warrants an investigation.
	This jailbreak comes three years after another one at Sarposa, and that one prompted Canada to spend millions of dollars fixing up the prison and training its staff, all it would seem to no avail.
	Graham Smith is a reporter for The Globe and Mail, and he's been following this story closely.
	We reached him in Quetta, Pakistan.
	Graham, is it possible that no one knew about this escape plan before the jailbreak happened?
	No, absolutely not.
	It took five months to excavate this 360-meter-long tunnel, big enough for many, many people to crawl through.
	The government says the tunnel is even longer, and one way or another, you're talking about a lot of Earth, talking about a big operation.
	And even inside the jail itself, prisoners are supposed to be locked down every night around 9 p.m., and the jailbreak started, some reports say about 10.30, some say 11 p.m., and so somehow the prisoners got out of their cells after hours,
	And somehow throughout this entire evening in one of the highest security facilities in Kandahar, nobody bothered to check genes on the prisoners as they spent at least four hours escaping.
	So, no, it's really not possible that all this could have gone down without attracting some kind of notice.
	The Taliban actually put out a press release saying that they managed to get everybody out and it was about, they said, four or five hours before anyone inside the prison seemed to have noticed that they were missing.
	Is that possible?
	Yeah, the Taliban say that they had everybody out by sort of the middle of the night, sometime between 3 and 4 in the morning, and it wasn't until after daybreak, maybe about 7.30 in the morning, that anybody raised the alarm.
	We managed to get a hold of a prison official at Serposa who spoke on condition of anonymity, and he said, look, you know, That's just not possible without the collusion of some of my colleagues, sadly.
	I wasn't proud of that fact, but it does appear that, to some extent, anyways, this was a bad job.
	Now, as far as what happened outside of the prison and the actual civilian population around the prison in Kandahar, if there were so much dirt being dug out of this tunnel and apparently they were just taking it into town, they were digging it up and taking it to town, selling it, but many people would have seen them doing that.
	Why do you think no one in the town alerted the authorities that this was going on?
	This is what I find so fascinating, actually, is that, you know, the area around Sarposa Prison and the prison itself, You know, have in some ways a case study for counter-insurgent strategy.
	You know, that whole area is heavily guarded.
	You know, Canadians have been focusing on protecting the western approach of Kandahar City and pushing the Taliban back away from the western side of the city.
	Since about 2006, it's been, you know, the bulk of Canada's effort, apparently, in Kandahar.
	At the prison itself, we've spent millions of dollars, about $5 million allotted to fix up the prison and train the staff.
	The whole question of whether you can win hearts and minds, whether you can persuade people that you're not so bad after all by making them feel safe and by doing useful things in those areas, that whole theory seems to fall apart a little bit when you use this Sarposa prison break as a case study.

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