don't wanna shut up And let the puppets call the show No more lamestream Pumping out the new meme Tell me where I should go It's a little bit crackpot Tiny bit buzzkill But it hits you right in the mouth It's time to do it now in the morning I
wanna do it now in the morning There's nothing better when it's in the morning In the morning, yeah Watching the puppet show From up on the hilltop As the whirlybirds pass by It's the same old history But I'm switching off the TV And tuning in and watching the sky It's
a little bit crackpot It's a tiny bit buzzkill But it hits you right in the mouth It's time to do it now in the morning I wanna do it now in the morning There's nothing better when it's in the morning In the morning,
yeah It's a little bit crackpot and a tiny bit buzzkill, but it hits you right in the mouth.
It's time to do it now in the morning.
I wanna do it now in the morning.
There's nothing better when it's in It's time to do it now in the morning.
I want to do it now in the morning.
There's nothing better when it's in the morning.
It's in the morning.
Hit it!
Adam Curry, John C. Devorah.
It is Sunday, May 1st, 2011.
Time for your Get My Nation Media Assassination.
Episode 300...
This is No Agenda.
300 episodes, over 700 hours of mainstream deconstruction, now in our fourth year.
Coming to you from the Hilltop Watchtower, Crackpot Command Center, Gitmo Nation West, and the People's Republic of Southern California.
In the morning, I'm Adam Curry.
And from Northern Silicon Valley, where, heck with 300, it's May Day!
I'm John C. Dvorak.
It's Crackpot and Buzzkill in the morning.
Sorry, I forgot.
We're supposed to celebrate work today.
Mayday.
Mayday.
On Sunday.
Yeah, that's right.
Hey, slaves, you get to take Mayday off.
Oh, wait.
It's Sunday.
In the morning to you, John, and congratulations.
Yeah, congratulations to you and congratulations and in the morning to all ships at sea and feet in the air.
Yeah, and the boots on the ground and everybody in the chat room.
The wingtips on the ground.
The wingtips on the ground.
Everybody in the chat room at noagendastream.com, noagendachat.net.
Record numbers on the stream once again today.
Good to see everybody here for episode number 300.
Hard to believe, but when you look back on the body of work we've produced, John, Yeah, actually, I've been working on this clip show.
Yeah.
It'll be ready when?
End of the year?
It's half over.
It's half done.
I have an hour and ten minutes.
So is half the year.
So that's what I mean.
It'll be done.
So what I've done is I've listened to all the clips from all the shows since the beginning.
And there's a lot of stuff that we've come up with over the years that we've long since forgotten.
But it's still interesting in retrospect.
But it's not a retrospective show.
But let me tell you how crazy we are about our passion for doing this program.
So yesterday, beautiful day here at the Hilltop Watchtower, and Bobby Eden is over.
And this must have happened when I was sick or something, and I'm kind of back at like 90-95% now.
Mickey made some kind of appointment that she was going to photograph Bobby.
And I'm like, you know, and these are like real good shots, if you know what I mean.
And so I'm just kind of, yeah, I'm like enjoying the show.
And then I get a text from John.
He's like, oh, you got to turn on C-SPAN 1 right now.
Douchebag fest.
It's the correspondence dinner.
You got to watch it.
I'm like, dude, you know, I'm watching a photo shoot with Bobby Eden, the official porn star of the show.
He's like, you can always watch that.
Go watch the show.
And I did.
How sad is that?
I went inside and like, they're outside taking pictures.
It's pretty compelling.
I mean, both.
I mean, you had a double.
Did you DVR Bobby Eden?
No.
I mean, I had the pictures, but I could have seen all this live stuff happening.
Oh, yeah.
And it got worse.
Because I was like, okay.
I'm like, I'll go get some meat for hamburgers.
And I come back, and they're both in the hot tub.
I'm like, I missed out.
Did you jump in or what?
I was like, we're hungry now, and they get out.
Oh.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm like, oh, you know, these things come and go.
I'm a loser.
But we did see the douchebag show.
It was amazing.
Holy moly.
So for people who don't know what this is, have they always put this on C-SPAN in the manner they did this time?
I don't know.
I don't think so.
I don't remember it being this way last year.
No, because usually it used to be kind of like secret and you'd see a couple clips here or there.
Well, no, C-SPAN last year, I know for a fact.
They showed the whole thing?
They didn't show the red carpet douchebag festival.
That was what was so amazing is...
By the way, could Wolf Blitzer be more of a douchebag?
Unbelievable.
So they had this red carpet.
And the deal is, this is like the White House correspondents.
And they get their one shot a year.
And they get to dress up.
And they get to be celebrities.
But of course, they already feel like they're celebrities.
And they get a red carpet and everything.
And they get a rubber chicken dinner.
And they all get to hang out and laugh.
And typically, by the way, this is where most presidents...
Humiliate themselves in front of the press corps.
Yeah, and also they have somebody that humiliates them.
This was ridiculous.
It was like, wow, wait a minute.
The president is up there using this to slam Obama, to slam Trump.
Because when I was watching the douchebag parade...
With Wolf Blitzer, like, not moving away from the cameras.
Like, yes, I'm here, and hanging out with his hot sidekick chick, whatever.
Now, I think she's one of the newer CNN anchors.
He's probably boner.
Wolf.
He was all dressed to the tens.
I didn't realize, but you can really tell that he has a full throat beard, which is like a total douchebag thing.
Yeah, that's wrong.
Yeah.
All he was missing was a cravat.
He had a tie.
So we're watching this thing and so here comes Trump.
He's plowing through with someone.
And I'm thinking, what the hell's he doing there?
He's not a correspondent or anything.
So I did a little research and the two things that kind of stood out is that apparently the White House gets so many people they can invite and all these press guys, they get a bunch of people they can invite.
Trump was, I believe, set up and brought in by the Washington Post.
He was a guest of the Washington Post.
Right, that makes sense.
So they said, hey, Trump, would you like to come and be our guest?
And then I know some other screwy guests.
They had a bunch of actors and actresses.
For example, what's the name of the guy that was married to Courtney Cox?
Oh, David Arquette?
David Arquette was there douching it up, and he was a guest.
Douching it up.
He was.
Well, did you see the NPR table?
No, the NPR table was way in the back.
Oh, no, the NPR table had my favorite ambassador to the United Nations, Susan Rice.
Oh, that's typical.
Yeah, I had David Byrne from Talking Heads.
Very typical for NPR. And also Michael Stipe from REM. Like, really?
Really?
These are people you're going to bring?
Meanwhile, there's journalists that should be at this thing.
It's a journalist event.
And meanwhile, they screw you.
Screw you, journalist writers.
You can shove it.
Shut up.
We'll bring in actors.
In fact, USA Today, instead of bringing in some of their own writers, they brought in David Arquette.
Yeah, that's unbelievable.
And then the one that really got me, though, apparently the White House didn't have enough invites for Eric Holder.
Really?
Sorry, you ran out.
You try to guess what kind of connected to the White House news organization might...
Let me think.
Could it be ABC? Exactly.
Could you get Holder in here?
Holder needs a ticket.
We have a saying in the music business, we may have discussed it on the show before, if you can't cover it up, turn it up.
And I think that's what's going on here with this whole birth certificate thing.
It wasn't even funny anymore.
It was so stupid.
Like, ladies and gentlemen, the president, there's another, like, I'm an American USA, and, you know, jets flying, and, you know, flyers waving.
They keep showing the birth certificate on the screen over and over again.
Yeah, over and over and over again.
By the way, you know, so I think by now we can all pretty much agree that this long-form birth certificate is bogus.
I mean, there's a million different reasons, but I discovered one which I hadn't even seen.
And you know when they throw it in your face, you know that it's like the final nail in the coffin for this thing.
The name of the registrar who signed this birth certificate?
U-K-L-L-E. U-K-L-E? U-K-L-E? Yes, exactly.
U-K-L-E. Like, U-K-L-E? Really?
You're going to throw it in my face like that?
Well, you know, we got a number of emails from people telling us that they've deconstructed the PDF file and they say it's a conglomeration of a bunch of different things.
A million different...
We won't even deal with it.
No, I'm not interested.
I think, you know, I still...
I don't care one way or the other at this point, but he was probably...
They probably never had...
If they had any good records, who knows?
They cobbled some piece of crap together.
But whatever the case was, I have two clips, and they're both kind of long, but I think they're worth playing at the beginning of the show, because they're entertaining.
One is, Seth Meyers was the comedian, and he did very few jokes about Obama.
In fact, they were all kind of positive jokes, where you're joking about, oh, you're working so hard, your hair's turning gray.
He sucked.
Let's just say it.
He wasn't great.
No, he wasn't.
He was like one of those Saturday Night Live episodes.
It was a total Saturday Night Live stand-up bit.
But I have the medley of his best material, believe it or not, which is about two and a half minutes, three minutes.
And there's a couple in here, but what he goes after, instead of going after Obama like you're supposed to do at these correspondence dinners as a joke...
He goes after C-SPAN, he goes after the hotel, he does make one good joke about MSNBC and Obama's connection together, but that's still kind of a positive joke.
Then he finishes by going after Trump, and I only have part of the Trump bit on here.
He starts off with, you know, I knew Trump was thinking of running as a, we didn't know he was going to run as a Democrat or Republican.
I thought he was going to run as a joke.
We can play this, I think, at least get the, we get people to get into the feeling of the Well, remember, there's a reason for this.
It's what we do so you don't have to cease to end.
We watched three and a half hours of Douchebags to bring you three minutes of joy.
It's so amazing to be in Washington, D.C., and all this history, all these amazing buildings, and yet here we are at the Hilton.
The red carpet outside was amazing.
Who are you wearing?
What does it matter I'm going into a Hilton?
Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy they were at the Hilton because no matter how I do tonight, I'm earning Hilton honors points.
You may not like these jokes, but I'll be laughing all the way to a free breakfast.
Who told you I had birth certificate jokes?
It was Assange, wasn't it?
Is Biden still vice president?
President?
Because if not, I'm down to like, thank you and God bless America.
Now I can begin...
It's an I am also honored to be performing for those of you here tonight, as well as the handful of people watching at home on C-SPAN. Hey, hey, hey, we got a shout out.
Did you hear it?
Yeah, I know.
He shot it out for us.
Yeah, that's nice.
Shooter said, hey, crackpot and buzzkill.
But no.
C-SPAN is, of course, the official network for wide shots of empty chairs.
Every time I tune into C-SPAN, it looks like they just had a fire drill.
C-SPAN is one unpaid electric bill away from being a radio station.
That's pretty amazing.
Listen to all these elitist jockstraps, these jabronis, laughing about, oh, C-SPAN, why would you watch that?
Because that's actually where you get news from, douchebags.
That's where we actually find out stuff that you don't report on because you read the crib notes, the cliff notes.
People think Bin Laden is hiding in the Hindu Kush, but did you know that every day from 4 to 5 he hosts a show on C-SPAN? C-SPAN is actually the biggest threat to the...
I'm just realizing this.
This is why this is happening.
C-SPAN is a huge threat to these jerk-offs.
Seriously.
I mean, all you got to do is just watch it and pay attention.
If you watch it, it is.
But who's...
You know, they still do everything.
I mean, they're denigrating it here.
I mean, this is not supposed to...
I mean, C-SPAN is not the problem here that he should be, you know, essentially attacking.
No.
Do we have to listen to more of this?
Because it's actually pretty bad.
Keep going.
Okay.
I'm not complaining about C-SPAN, mind you.
I usually work on NBC, so tonight I'm thrilled to be on a network that people actually watch.
You made a joke about NBC. What I projected on four screens right now makes me the third highest rated show on NBC. Did they have shots of Trump?
Did you see that?
Yeah, they had a lot of shots of Trump who was not laughing at anything.
No, no.
Comcast, of course, bought NBC this year.
I'm assuming by accident.
Or when Goldman Sachs cut up the network and bundled it in the lower tranche of a CDO. Ugh.
These are so elitist.
Oh, my God.
He actually references that in the follow-up here.
It better end soon.
I don't think I can handle that.
Well, you've got to get to the Trump part.
It's only about three more gags.
I figured this was the only room that joke would work, and it only kind of did.
They won't be joining me on the road.
NPR is having a party, but I'm sure it will be pretty sedate.
How wild can a party get when it's held in accordance with Sharia law?
Wow.
It's what I was told.
I, of course, am contractually obligated to attend the MSNBC party tonight.
Everyone knows how the MSNBC party works.
President Obama makes the Kool-Aid, and everyone there drinks it.
See, I told you.
I told you that they all hate MSNBC. All these guys.
They think, you know, the MS. The MS. Gary Busey said recently that Donald Trump would make a great president.
Of course, he said the same thing about an old rusty birdcage he found.
Donald Trump owns the Miss USA pageant, which is great for Republicans because it will streamline their search for a vice president.
Thank you.
Dr.
John said recently he has a great relationship with the blacks, though unless the blacks are a family of white people, I bet he's mistaken.
Wow.
He really did get set up, didn't he?
Yeah, and then, I mean, the weird thing about this...
Are they so afraid of him?
Is that it?
I mean, they must be.
I mean, why else do this?
I also have Obama essentially a rant on...
Yeah, we should probably...
Well, actually, Obama's timing is a little better than Seth Meyers.
But Obama came up first.
If I'm not mistaken, I always thought it was the comic that came up and then the...
No, Obama was first.
Obama was first.
Yeah, and I thought that was odd because he killed...
Basically, he had a bunch of jokes and he denigrated Trump to an extreme.
And then he goes on about the dead in Iraq and Afghanistan, which I was thinking if I was the comic that had to follow this, I'd say, what is this guy doing?
He's killing the audience.
Right.
And meanwhile...
I was under the impression from the years past that the comic would come up first and then the president would come up and kind of, you know, blast the comic and blast the audience for laughing with him and all the rest of it.
But this was just backwards.
Well, it sounds to me or it feels to me like the SNL writers wrote Obama's jokes and just gave him all the best ones.
Who else is writing this stuff?
First of all, people out there listening to our show, you have to realize that when Obama does this show, or actually most people when they do something like this, they use a team of about three or four writers.
Obama's not sitting around writing gags.
No.
I mean, he's not a gag writer, and there's plenty of people that are really good at it.
Spokeshole Jay Carney actually said that on the most recent gaggle.
You know, they have a gaggle on Air Force One, and someone asked, you know, who's writing the jokes?
Well, I can't tell you that's national security.
Yeah.
Yeah, which is bull-cracking.
By the way, that is kind of a great example of what they actually do consider national security.
Keep that quiet.
So anyway, let's know Obama.
This is what I thought was...
It also wasn't that funny, John.
I mean, yeah, okay, but...
Well, it was funny if you think about the fact that Trump is in the audience taking it and not given an opportunity to go up to the podium.
I mean, this is ridiculous.
It's like, you know, even with a roast where you roast somebody, the roast tea gets to go up last and blast everyone back.
It was very weird.
I mean, in the past, he even had that video about taking away the teleprompter.
It was the president's speech.
They had like a spoof video.
The White House always does a video.
And in the past, it's been like Barney the dog for Bush, but it's always kind of like puts the president down as a douche.
But in this case, our president is a douche because they had all these outtakes of him, you know, like fumbling his weekly address.
And it was real.
There were real outtakes of him just not being able to speak.
It was like, what?
This is so...
Because, you know, that idiot from West Wing Whig put it together.
It's like, what?
This is so stupid.
It was very weird.
It was very backward.
And it felt like, you know, we just have to come out there and just humiliate everybody.
And I don't think it's the intent of what this fine white Washington tradition is supposed to be.
Michelle Bachman is here, though, I understand.
And she is thinking about running for president, which is weird because I hear she was born in Canada.
You know, it's like, if you have these people, you know, making fun of your competitor or possible competitor is lame.
You know, you just don't do it in business.
It's dumb.
I don't know.
It doesn't feel right.
Yes, Michelle, this is how it starts.
Tim Pawlenty.
He seems all-American.
But if you heard his real middle name, Tim Hosni Pawlenty?
I didn't get that one.
Hosni Mubarak.
Hussein Barack, Hussein Obama, Hosni.
It's a callback.
Oh my gosh.
I didn't even get it.
I got it.
Oh jeez.
What a shame.
My buddy, our outstanding ambassador, John Huntsman, is with us.
Now, there's something you might not know about John.
He didn't learn to speak Chinese to go there.
Oh, no.
He learned English to come here.
Now, stop for a second.
Now, this is interesting.
Yeah, this is very interesting, because this never even made the mainstream news, this story.
Well...
Yeah, I was watching one of the other shows and news shows.
I think it was, I don't know if it was on C-SPAN or where, but anyway.
And Hausman's name came up as a potential presidential candidate.
He's coming back from, he's the Chinese ambassador to China.
He got kicked out is what happened.
He got kicked out because apparently he was thinking of running.
I mean, I understand there's some connection between the fact that he's going to run for president, challenge the president.
And so he got kicked out.
And now he's like a contender in some way, shape or form.
And this is like just dropped.
For one thing, I don't think anybody has any consciousness of this.
Well, certainly not the news media.
Well, first I heard it, you know, like the day before, and then I heard Obama do this gag, which is where he's trying to denigrate his opponents.
I think he's trying to denigrate China.
I think he's trying to slam against China.
No, no, this is about the opponents, believe me.
It had nothing to do with China.
He has just, first he blasts Bachman, then he blasts Polanyi, then he blasts, or blasts, or kind of, it's not even a good blast, he just nudges him with this bull crap.
And then he does the Hausman, then he goes and he hits Romney, and then he hits Trump.
That's the whole thing.
So it's got nothing to do with China.
But the fact that this guy's name is in the mix all of a sudden, I think he's a red herring or something screwy about it.
Yeah.
Well, we've got to pay attention to him, then.
That's for sure.
And then...
There's a vicious rumor floating around that I think could really hurt Mitt Romney.
I heard he passed universal health care when he was governor of Massachusetts.
Someone should get to the bottom of that.
And I know just the guy to do it.
Donald Trump is here tonight.
That's the MSNBC table cheering for their ratings.
Thank you, Donald.
Trump is here tonight.
You know, I... I guess, I mean, the kind of incest involved in the media, the White House media.
It's sickening.
It's like, why would he know Trump was there?
I guess, you know, I guess they have to clear it with...
Of course he knew he was there.
It was a setup.
It was a setup.
Yeah, it was a total setup, but it's just, yeah, it was obviously a setup.
I mean, it wasn't as though he snuck in, but...
Listen to the rest.
Listen to the rest.
Now I know that he's taken some flack lately, but no one is happier, no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than the Donald.
And that's because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter.
Like, did we fake the moon landing?
So this also really, now he's insulting me.
Because, of course, we all know that we didn't land on the moon initially.
We all know that.
We don't all know that.
Yes, we do.
What really happened in Roswell?
Yeah, well, so...
and where are Biggie and Tupac which is also interesting because that is a more recent that's kind of fired up again that Biggie and Tupac thing that they're still around or whatever It's kind of weird.
I didn't know that.
that yeah I was reading about a week or two ago that's kind of flared up all kidding aside obviously we all know about your credentials and breadth of experience see these are That's a dick.
Hey, just play it.
For example, seriously, just recently, in an episode of Celebrity Apprentice...
At the steakhouse, the men's cooking team did not impress the judges from Omaha Steaks.
And there was a lot of blame to go around, but you, Mr.
Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership, and so ultimately you didn't blame Little John or Meat Loaf.
You fired Gary Busey.
And these are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night.
Well handled, sir.
All right.
Well handled.
I've got to offset this bull crap with some other stuff.
So, there's two things happening.
And I think it's a very viable possibility, although for Trump to take this humiliation, that's quite a way to go, because I think there is a possibility for a follow-up to a new reality show that he could be working on.
Which would essentially be kind of like President Trump.
And he could actually have political...
He could have Bachman come in and he could have the teams on how to save the country.
And it could be a bonanza.
It would be a great show.
Kind of a mix of celebrity, big brother, celebrity apprentice.
I mean, it could be a really good setup for an amazing expansion of this celebrity apprentice format.
However, I have two clips here.
And the guy has an ego.
So, you know, I think he's not going to let his ego step out of the way.
I mean, he got punched, sucker punched during this one.
So he was in Vegas, and I'm sure everyone has probably heard of or seen this clip where he drops some F-bombs while he's talking to a bunch of people in Vegas.
Did you see any of that?
No, I think I saw part of the Vegas thing, but I didn't see him where he was cussing.
Oh, yeah.
Well, he was talking about China, and he says, you know, I'm going to...
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's been played a number of times.
Go ahead and play it again.
No, I'm not going to play it, because I listened to the whole thing, and the F-bomb was a distraction.
I am now going to think that he is actually taking this serious because he is pandering to Israel.
And when you do that, then you're a serious candidate, I think.
Because, you know, Barack Obama, every single president does this.
You need the Israeli-Jewish lobby to get elected.
And he was playing to this big time.
Short clip.
It's unbelievable.
Thank you.
We have a great ally over there.
A real ally, Israel.
And Iran has already said that they want to blow Israel off the face of the earth.
They're developing nuclear weapons.
Our leadership is weak and pathetic.
I mean, we can't even beat Libya.
I love how it gets everything wrong.
We can't even beat Libya.
Iran says they want to wipe Israel.
I mean, that's been debunked as that's not exactly what Iran said.
But OK, Trump, keep going.
OK, our leadership is weak and pathetic.
So when Iran, which is really a power and going to be a great, great power very soon, especially when they take over a couple of more countries, they're going to have so much money.
And we don't do anything about it.
And by the way, when they take over Iraq, there's no way we go back, honestly, because we won't have the stomach to go back.
We won't have the stomach.
You've got to say you've got to take the oil.
You've got to do it.
But what's going to happen to Israel when you have Iran controlling probably Libya?
Iran controlling Libya?
That's weird.
Well, that's not...
I can see where he's thinking that because there's a belief that some of the Iranian...
Some of the Iranian money is going into the protests or the rebels or whatever you want to call it.
I don't think it's that weird.
But you have to agree with me that the fact that he's pandering to Israel this way means he's really serious.
I think he really wants to go for this.
And then I have a clip from him on Bloomberg television.
And this is Donald Trump.
This is the reason why I think he actually wants to run for President of the United States.
On that side.
I'm on the exact opposite side.
And to be honest with you, I think it would be very, very bad for the Republican Party and a lot of other people because they did some polls recently where I hear I get 29% as an independent.
That's a lot.
That's far more than Ross Perot ever got.
So I get all of these votes as an independent, and I could also possibly win as an independent, otherwise I wouldn't do it.
If I can't win, I'm not doing it for any other reason, because I like winning.
I'm only in it for one thing, and frankly, if I ran as an independent, I would, if I didn't win, be very negative to the Republicans, and that disturbs me.
That's it.
He only wants to win.
He said it right there.
The whole reason I'm in this is to win.
So I think he's in it.
I think he's actually in it to win it.
And if he thinks he can win it, he's going to do it.
Well, they took care of Ross Perot, who thought, you know, they...
Yeah, I mean, I got your date here.
Let's see, I got it in the book.
Hold on.
April 21st.
What did I say?
You said you think Trump's going to run.
I'm still saying no.
Okay.
And I'm sticking with my thinking, which is...
And I'm actually writing his...
When is the final episode of Celebrity Apprentice?
It's coming up.
I don't know.
I have the speech.
I'm going to write it and read it on the show.
His speech?
Yeah.
You're going to write his speech and we're going to present it before the actual episode.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
I have it almost done.
I could have presented it today, but I understand.
I want to polish it up a little bit.
There's a couple moments in there that don't sound Trump enough.
Yeah, right.
Now, dude, by the way, gold, $1,556 an ounce.
I mean, yeah, it's one of these little predictions I make.
So?
Four years ago.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, it's episode 300, and we have some people to thank.
How are we doing this?
Because everyone who is a member of the...
We have all of our 300 donors on one spreadsheet, which I want to read their names in order by country at the break, at the donation break.
And in advance of that, I would like to do this once I just donated...
For this episode at this time.
Okay.
But everybody in this group is producers for this episode 300.
And 300 club members, obviously.
And 300 club members, which will be posted on the website.
We probably will post it off of one of the pages at...
Noagendanation.com, which is now up with...
Yeah, in celebration of our 300th episode, yet another service to you.
I was going to mention that in the PR segment, but noagendanation.com is now up, and it's got a store with some products I've never seen before.
Eric wants to sell swords.
I know.
He's got letter openers and whatever.
It's like crazy.
This is the way the Kentucky colonels operate.
I am a Kentucky colonel, by the way, for anyone who wants to know.
The thing I think is cool there, I don't know if it's running.
You can manage your own account.
Well, manage your own account, but the main thing is you can just hit a button, and if you want to be a knight, and say you've given X amount of money, you hit the button, it'll tell you what you need, what your balance is.
Oh, that's cool.
So you can just say, $288.43, you're a knight, kind of thing.
So I thought that was cool.
Okay, let's go with some people that we want to thank.
Jonas Astrum in Sweden.
Vindolin, I guess.
Hi, guys.
With this donation, I'd like to join the 300 Club, top off my night donation with an additional $100.
Your show is well worth the price of admission.
The fact that Adam throws in the DSC for no extra cost is insanely great.
Keep up the awesome work and greetings from Gitmo Nation, Sab.
Yeah, or hopefully.
I think the factory is still closed.
They're trying to get government money to reopen so I can have spare parts.
He wants me to honk the train horn, but I don't know where that thing went.
So instead of that, I'll get the train horn for next show, Jonas.
But until then...
That's a poor substitute.
It is a poor substitute.
Well, you know, actually, if you go to the low notes...
Kind of sounds like a European train.
Huh?
Yeah.
Huh?
No?
No.
David Dolson, Houston, Texas.
$333.33.
Sorry.
$333.33 for David Dolson.
From the following people, Andrew Schmidt in Atlas, Pennsylvania.
No comment.
Billy McFedrus in East Kilbride, South Lancashire.
Lancashire?
Is that right?
Lenarkshire.
U.K. Guys, almost a year listening, an absolute pleasure.
I finally stopped being a boner and become a donor.
Your show is a shining ray of light and puts the turgid world of so-called...
I like that.
That's a good word.
I've never used that word in my print.
Turgid.
Good word.
Turgid.
The turgid world of real, so-called real news journalism to shame.
Here's to my fellow supporters in the 300 Club and look forward to securing my knighthood in time for 333.
That's an interesting idea.
Keep up the good work, Jake Rock, all the way from Bonnie, Scotland.
Bonnie, Scotland.
Scotland.
Sir Chase, just plain old Sir Chase is the way he wants to call himself now.
It's fine with us.
Tampa, Florida.
Congratulations, John.
The next time Adam gets depressed over the news, you do a wonderful job covering.
Remind him of this.
Adam.
Well, it is easy to be pessimistic about the world these days.
There's no reason to be miserable about it.
It's a night time.
Yeah.
Okay.
Easy for you to say.
Come watch some C-SPAN with me.
See how you feel.
Don Bean in Thousand Oaks, California to the best...
Let me get this right.
Best podcast in the galaxy!
M.M. Bean here, and I'm looking to boost my karma quotient for my son, Brandon.
He's an agenda producer, I guess, 283.
Or he's a member of the 283 Club.
And a search for a job.
Looks like his background check on base is scheduled for next week.
Go karma!
Let's hit it right now, then.
Here you go.
You've got karma.
Take a piece of that.
He wants us to give ourselves some karma.
Executive producer, sole member of 283 Club.
And he's also a subscriber to the $11.11.
Francine Hardaway, Phoenix, Arizona.
We'll be in Sao Paulo, Brazil with geeks on a plane for show 300.
Huh.
I don't know what that is.
But I would love some karma.
If you're going to go to Sao Paulo, let me know.
I got friends.
I would like to get some karma anyway, since I'll download it as soon as I can.
Since this makes 633, she'll be in a night in no time.
So if you're looking for the hookup, if you know what I mean, John's got the number for you.
You've got karma.
Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Say no more.
Joe Travis, Monroe, Louisiana.
You guys rock!
I'm a listener from day one.
De-douche me for not donating before.
Oh, absolutely.
You've been de-douched.
Give me credit for the napping meme.
I emailed Adam with the napping for carbon credits idea.
Someone else added for humanity.
That was my part.
We do everything.
Everything Adam and I do is...
He does half.
I do half.
But it's a collaboration.
Except for probably one thing.
What?
I was thinking about this.
There's one thing that you came up with that...
There was actually maybe a couple that I never contributed to to add value.
Squirrels!
Generally speaking, I will go over some show about the show.
Well, now you've peaked my curiosity.
It doesn't come to mind, so you can't remember.
It's so special what I've contributed to the show that, oh, I can't remember.
I can't remember.
It was something.
I think it was The Rings, which was part of something else.
Lawrence McBride, Moortown, Merseyside, UK. Michael Miller in Tiburon, California.
Thank you for the show and congrats on the 300th episode.
I hope many of the slaves wake up and donate to keep the value for value model alive.
We do too.
Oleg Racatini.
Oleg Racatine, actually.
Racatine.
He's more Italian to be Racatini.
North York, Ontario.
This is N.A. My wife and I are expecting a new human resource soon.
I would like to request some karma for him.
Or her.
Well, maybe they already know.
You've got karma.
You've got karma before you've even been born.
How about that?
Andre Kelka in the Czech Republic.
That's nice.
Hello, John and Adam.
I've not been donating for a long time.
I need some karma.
Absolutely.
You've got karma.
I can confirm that a lot of the fractals are hitting the Czech Republic where I am listening.
Keep up the great work.
I'm sorry you have all that crap to look forward to then.
It's just like a show from the future.
Outlook hazy.
Show from the future.
Roberto Suarez, Portland, Oregon.
Please accept his one-time donation for my tax return.
All right.
Plus an $11.11 monthly donation, which used to go to the NPR. Now it goes to no agenda.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Appreciate that.
Good choice.
Smart money.
Good choice.
Please send some karma to my wife Barbara, who on May 1st, which is today, will run the Eugene, Oregon Marathon as a fundraiser for Leukemia Lymphoma Society in honor of our daughter Eliza's going on three years remission from leukemia.
Oh, well, yay.
Extra karma, then, for both of you.
You've got karma.
Good job.
Happy for you guys.
Hopefully she'll be...
Can I just say something?
You know, my sister was here.
If I can just interrupt for a moment.
Yeah.
From Italy.
And she's a little crackpot herself.
She listens to the show.
Although the kids hate it when she listens to No Agenda in the car.
They're Italian, first of all, so it's a little difficult when you have words like turgid and abhorrent.
But interestingly enough, they like you better than me, their uncle.
Yeah.
They think you're funny.
They don't like me at all.
I think it's pretty not unusual.
Anyway, Willow said that there's a...
Because she has her own little circle of conspirators in Italia.
When's the last time you heard of a world leader or high-ranking elitist who died of cancer?
Exactly.
Exactly.
And I went like, wow.
I hadn't thought of that.
Yeah, I hadn't thought of that.
So when I see leukemia, of course I'm very happy for daughter Eliza, who's three years in remission, but I'm thinking, this is like one in three people has cancer, but what are the odds that you never hear about a world leader or high-ranking elite dying of cancer, or even having cancer for that matter?
I'll look into it.
Just saying.
Taylor Stewart in Calabasas, California.
To clear up previous confusion, in my case, Taylor is a guy's name.
More importantly, you guys saved my sanity this week.
After two days of business meetings, listening to my employees and partners aggressively parrot mainstream bullcrap, like good little happy and distracted slaves, I was frustrated to the point of losing it.
Oh no, no, no.
You've got to calm down when that happens.
Laugh.
Yeah.
Yeah, you go.
Just look at him and go.
You believe that?
It usually works.
Listening to your show during the cross-country trip back home saved me.
Yes.
It was really like sitting down for a beer with a good friend who really understands how you feel.
Thank you.
Yes.
Please give me some karma for the 300 Club donation.
Maybe it will give me an added strength that I need to succeed at waking them up.
Yeah, well, very good.
And don't count on it.
We only preach to the choir.
It's hopeless.
And then the last member of today's 300 Club joiner is Timothy Fike, a new listener in Baltimore, Maryland.
We have one associate executive producer chimed in, Michael Hager in St.
Louis, Missouri.
We dropped $200 into the executive producer coffers.
Hey John, and that's it.
No, it's just a great show as always.
The rest is for the break.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
So we will have a couple of nightings and a daming later on today during the show, which I feel will probably go a little extra long, particularly because we have a lot of names to thank for our 300 Club.
Well, it's nice that Eric grouped them by country.
It's kind of cool to see.
Down Under is still big on the list, actually.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're number two.
Yeah.
Big thanks, of course, to Sir Jeff Smith, who did a special beautiful acoustic version of the In the Morning song.
And he set up a page especially with for those of you who have always wanted the the uptempo version of that, as well as the Gitmo Nation National Anthem, the high quality MP3s available at a page that he set up for that.
And so that'll be in the PR section in the show notes, no agenda show dot com.
Also, in the links that rock, I'll put it in there as well.
And always feel free to help Sir Jeff Smith out.
He's got a lot of great songs.
He's got his his songs available on iTunes as well.
And he's a great huge talent.
Huge talent.
And we thank him for supporting the show throughout.
Well, he's been there from the beginning almost, hasn't he?
Almost from the beginning he's been making jingles for us.
Yeah, well, actually what happened, I remember the story.
Oh.
So it was around the, I don't know, within the first 20 or 30 episodes.
You and I discussed this.
You said, you know, Jeff Smith, I know Jeff Smith, he wants to do some jingles.
I think he sent us an email.
And he asked us to come up with ideas.
Oh, really?
I don't remember that part.
And I said, well, I can come up with a couple.
You know, I don't even know what...
I maybe had a couple ideas and you had maybe an idea or two.
And then he just...
I think he finally said, screw these two idiots.
I'll just come up with a couple of things.
And he just kept on going.
going.
Of course, we have the entire sequence.
In the morning.
For a manana.
Se chang wu.
Le matin.
A morgen.
So we pretty well cover the globe there with our In the Mornings.
Also, now released on NoAgendaRecords.com, portion of the proceeds goes to the show.
Jasper Avenue's debut single, Victory Row.
Make sure you check that out at NoAgendaRecords.com.
Couple of domain name forwards, batterypoweredclutchcars.co.nz.
Throwback to one of our previous shows, batterypoweredclutchcars.co.nz.
They still make them their clutch cars?
They make them their clutch cars.
Funny story from Gary and Gilroy, and you'll know what it's about when I get to this.
Adam, I work for a city government in Gitmo Nation, Silicon Valley.
The city is making a lot of cuts due to the economy.
While at home, I logged into my work email.
There was a memo from the city manager concerning unacceptable activity while in city uniform.
The memo was actually addressed to all city slaves.
I went ballistic and drafted a reply that would have surely gotten me fired.
Thankfully, at the last moment, I remembered I was on my home computer and the No Agenda bullshit filter turned on.
You gotta be very careful about this.
And that thing is expanding.
I've seen it myself.
I'm like, someone sent me a link from like, what was it?
That's great.
Like the Drudge Report.
He said, oh, the Drudge is listening to the show because they say PBS, the National Treasure, spelled T-R-A-Y-S-U-R-E. And then I was like, wow, yeah, they must be listening over there.
And the guy said, oh, wait, I had the bullshit filter turned on.
I'm like, okay.
Yeah.
Anyway, be careful with that thing.
But it's always fun to install it on someone else's computer.
Also forwarding to the show now, nutnibblers.com.
Thank you very much.
I was nibbling on some cashews the other day.
You are a true nut nibbler, my friend.
NewGeekOrder.com AnimeVideoRental.com Which I think might get some search juice.
And WorldOfTheoryCraft.com Thank you.
I mentioned that NoAgendaPhoto.com is up and running.
A couple of people have contributed, but I'd like you to go and take a look.
This is where you can upload your Gitmo Nation photos.
Noagendafoto.com.
And then again, noagendanation.com, which is a great-looking site.
Eric has really done a fantastic job on that.
And I guess he's going to be selling swords.
Is this how he's going to support his family now?
Is this a deal with swords?
I guess.
I presume he's going to do a fair deal with us, right?
He's going to give us a portion of the proceeds?
Oh, yeah.
No, no.
We get a big piece of the action.
Oh, really?
A big piece?
Yeah, bigger than usual.
Because if not, then you just cut off his power, right?
Cut the line.
And thanks to our fresh executive producers and 300 club members who get another mention later on in the show.
Jonas Astrom, David Dalsam, Andrew Schmidt, Bill McFedres, Sir Chase, Don Bean, Francine Hardaway, Joe Travis, Lawrence McBride, Michael Miller, Oleg Rakitin, Andre Kelka, Robert Suarez, Taylor Stewart, and Timothy Fike, who may actually be related, I have a feeling.
Long story.
And our associate executive producer, Michael Hagar.
Everyone else, thank you so much for listening.
You have a job to do.
It's propagating the formula.
Let's go out and do it.
Our formula is this.
We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
World.
Order.
Say it loud and proud, all you human resources.
Shut up!
Sleep!
One more thing about this birth certificate.
Valerie Jarrett.
Oh, I hate that woman.
She was at the event.
Oh, there was a good...
If anyone wants to check something out, I don't have the link in front of me, but the Washington Post had a great photo essay of the different after parties.
And by the way, the MSNBC after parties seemed to be the big one.
Palin was there.
Oh, really?
Yes.
Of all things.
The whole thing.
And what's her name?
The panel is Bristol.
Bristol.
I mean, this is ridiculous.
This is just like a critical mass.
It's just really douchebag.
Show business for ugly people.
How often do I have to say it?
The whole thing is ridiculous.
I mean, this whole event.
And by the way, I didn't see any of the hot Fox News anchors around.
They don't get to go.
It's really the ugly douchebags who get to go.
They don't bring the hot chicks.
I saw O'Reilly sitting next to some producer, and she was sitting next to Dennis Miller, and I didn't see any of those Fox women.
I'm telling you.
Valerie Jarrett, who is this mysterious woman slumlord from Chicago who basically is the president's handler.
You'll see her sitting everywhere.
President, Vice President, Jarrett.
She's actually on the other side of the president as the vice president.
So she's really big kahuna.
She gets on the Joe Madison show, morning talk show, and, well, you know, just need to all shut up about all this stuff, because, of course, now is Trump now saying, oh, we need to see his college records, which I also don't understand why that's been closed off to the public, but whatever.
I don't give a crap.
But what she says is very interesting.
We're not going to see the president releasing transcripts, are we?
We know this is nonsense.
Okay.
She's almost 50 years old.
Thank you.
And he's President of the United States, and I don't think anybody would debate his intelligence.
Really?
That's kind of, really?
That's what it is?
Shut up?
Shut up, slave.
He's 50.
He's President of the United States.
We don't have to debate his intelligence.
So, now, we do need to get serious.
That's an example of where, let's just get serious and get back to focusing on what's important.
Yeah, I'm not releasing my transcript.
I don't think you're going to release yours.
No, I am not.
And I don't think the president should release his.
Let's call it a day.
Let's call it a day.
Douche baguette.
So I have a...
I just wanted to get one clip out of the way.
Are you eating?
No, I'm sorry.
I'm not eating.
I heard silverware on a plate and I heard you smack.
Okay, I had a piece of grapefruit.
I ate grapefruit during the show.
Told you.
Alright, so I had one clip that I wanted to get out of the way because we didn't do a post-mortem on the royal wedding.
Oh, really?
We've just gone through douchebags and baguettes at the White House.
We have to do the royal wedding?
Really?
Really?
Yes, we have to do it, because I've got kind of the most insightful analysis by John Oliver, who was on the...
Yeah, the Daily Show.
Yeah.
Really?
This better not be a long clip.
Oh, jeez.
120.
I can handle it.
Hello, London.
Guess who's back?
Just hours from now, all eyes will be on Britain.
And no one is more excited for this spectacular event than the British people themselves.
Why do we need the royal wedding?
I think it makes a bit of a mockery of our country.
I think it's a bit of a charade.
I think in the current economic climate, I find it slightly distasteful that we are paying as the public for part of the wedding.
I think it's utter f***ing bollocks.
It's a f***ing abortion.
It should never happen.
It shouldn't cost us a penny if it has to happen.
But I don't need to see this f***ing s***.
Having said that, it's a magical day and we're all looking forward to it, right Mike?
No.
But real quality English people, like friend of the royal family Victoria Mather, are having none of that utter f***ing bollocks.
I think the British taxpayers being very mean and moaning about paying for this wedding.
I mean, it's a privilege, isn't it?
And people are already excited.
I mean, just look at all of these idiots.
Yes, they are excited because they're seeing something which is glamorous and which they aspire to.
Right.
I prefer to be paying for the royal wedding and cleaning the streets afterwards and for all the security than to be paying for illegal immigrants to claim benefits and live in sink estates.
Why not make it a race issue?
Yes!
Why not?
Why not?
Oh my God.
You know, something much more abhorrent.
You remember the Love Police?
Remember that guy?
I think we played a clip from him in the past.
Yeah, they arrested him.
Yeah, so this is the guy...
In advance of the wedding.
Yeah.
Because he was going to hold up a sign or something.
Yeah, this is the guy who goes out and hugs the police and uses a megaphone and essentially exercises his right to free speech.
He got a knock on the door.
I didn't know they had that much of a right to free speech in the UK. No, they don't.
So his girlfriend, who...
She's only in the video briefly, but she looks kind of hot.
She films the cops coming to the door and coming to arrest him.
And it's just a little interesting piece.
There's two things I found, three things I found interesting in this.
It's a very long clip.
You can look at that in the show notes.
There's a link to it.
But here's a couple of snippets from it.
Just bear with me one moment.
This is the cop at the door.
He's going to now arrest him.
What's the issue?
Okay.
Mr.
Beach, I'm arresting you as there are reasonable grounds to suspect that you've conspired with others to cause public nuisance in relation to the royal wedding.
Oh, this is just an anarchist.
That's great.
We're arresting you on grounds of conspiring to disrupt the public order.
Really?
It's called a protest, and that's why he's getting arrested.
It's really crazy that this is happening in 2011.
It's called 2011.
Yeah.
You were also under arrest on suspicion of aggravated trespass at Fortman and Mason in Piccadilly, London, which occurred on Saturday, the 26th of March, 2011, where you've been identified by witnesses as being present.
Your arrest is necessary for a prompt and effective investigation of these allegations.
I need you to come with me to Parkside Police Station, please.
So, okay, what do I do?
So, I would suggest, if it's alright with you, if we come in, you can get yourself dressed, you can get whatever you need, mobile, wallet, etc., and come down to Parkside with us immediately.
Do you have any evidence for the claims you're suggesting?
There is.
He's marked as wanted on PNT by the Metropolitan.
Yeah, he's marked as wanted!
He's marked as wanted!
We want him!
So, they come in, and they have these cameras on their uniforms, John.
They've got these little, and it says C-C-C-T-V, or C-C-T-V, and they have cameras on their uniforms.
He actually says it.
That's not the case.
Yeah, that's cool.
Okay, could you guys please wait outside?
No, I have to come in because you're under arrest.
You are in my custody.
Okay, carry on.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Just to make you aware that I am actually filming you inside my cold.
Yeah, it's quite obvious.
I have to make you aware.
So they have these little CCTV cameras, which is kind of interesting because you're not allowed to film them.
Well, she did ask permission, they said yes, but lots of people have been arrested for filming the police in Gitmo Nation East and get arrested for that.
In Maryland.
I'm sorry, it's everywhere in Gitmo Nation.
But now they're filming back.
And now this...
I like this girl because she just kind of lays it out there.
And these guys are like...
Have you seen this video, John?
Because they can't be older than like 22.
No.
Maybe 23.
I mean, and probably they're good lads, you know, but they're just like drones.
Lads.
Yes, lads.
They're like MKUltrad.
I think, as you both know, Charlie's an activist.
And him and I and many people, we're political activists.
And I study politics at Cambridge, actually.
It's obviously a foundation of our country that we have the right to protest.
And that's not against the law.
Now, I'm...
Charlie's my boyfriend.
I know full well that there's absolutely no evidence of him doing anything that's against the law.
It's not the way that we work.
We get on with the police very well.
We call the love police.
We specialise in giving the police hugs.
The guy's expression is priceless when she says that.
He's like, really?
Could you come over here with those little puppies and hug you?
I need a hug.
I need a hug right now.
We like good relationships with the police and Charlie went to the...
I met the other day and said, you know, we don't cause violence.
That's not what we do.
But we engage in free speech.
And that's why he uses a megaphone and not weapons like what you guys carry.
That's a very good point.
So he uses a megaphone, not like the weapons you have.
Because, you know, the Bobbies now don't just have, like, sticks.
They've got guns and mace and all kinds of stuff.
These guys are loaded.
It's a megaphone.
And...
You're acting on orders, but you want to be very careful that you're not breaking the law here, because you're about to arrest this man.
He's already under arrest.
Okay, you've arrested this man, and there is...
There is absolutely, I know there is absolutely no reason for this to be happening.
And here it comes.
PNC says he's wanted.
But yesterday he was megaphoning and they said, no, he's not wanted.
Of course he's not wanted.
He's not a criminal.
Sylvie, can you please go on Facebook?
I don't have Facebook.
Yeah, very good.
Guy, I'm worried about you two as individuals, because you're doing things which I know if you were acting of your own accord you wouldn't do, and that makes me feel that you're slaves.
I love her.
You're slaves!
And they're like, what?
I'm just doing my job, ma'am.
I'm just doing what they told me.
That's what the Germans all said.
We didn't know, just doing what we were told.
Wir haben nicht gewusst.
That's exactly what the Nazis said.
Now, congratulations, everybody.
So, that, of course, is not making the mainstream news in the oh-so-joyous United Kingdom.
What a puppet show.
So, I watched the wedding.
No, you did not.
I did, too.
It's our job.
I don't know why you refused to do it.
I didn't say I didn't.
Did you get up at 4 o'clock in the morning?
Look, I have a woman here, yeah?
And the woman needs to see the thing.
Well, I didn't watch it live.
No.
No, Mickey's like...
Oh, she looks so understated.
This is where you have to watch out in a relationship, is when you have, like, the royal wedding, and, you know, you're a no-agenda person, and you just want to, like, throw your boot, you throw your Ugg boot at the screen, but, you know, your woman is like, oh, it's romantic, and, you know, you just kind of, like, bite your tongue, because you don't want to ruin that moment.
You don't want to go, like, elitist dipshits.
Well, a couple of things.
That archbishop needs his eyebrows trimmed.
Oh, my goodness.
He could, like, float a pencil on that thing.
It was unbelievable.
I mean, buddy.
Yeah, it's like, really, get a clue.
Get some grooming tips.
Jeez.
I wonder how much hair is coming out of his ears.
That's so funny.
And then it's like, and then the other dude comes over with the big hat and the bigger hat and they take the hat off and put the hat on.
Okay, here, so you did watch it, you told me.
Of course I had to watch it, I just told you that.
So I got a couple of questions for you.
Here's an Ask Adam.
Oh!
Oh my goodness, hold on a second.
I was unprepared.
It's been so long since we've done an Ask Adam.
Let me see if I can find one that is appropriate.
I don't have a royal Ask Adam, but we'll just go with the...
Ask Adam.
Alright, Ask Adam.
Ask Adam.
Ask Adam.
Yeah, go ahead.
Okay, sounds like the guy's going to throw up after he does that.
A grunge band.
Okay, here we go.
So they do this, they go, blah, blah, blah, they put the thing around them, and then they all get up, and then a group of them, the bride and groom, and a group of, you know, Pippa and a few other people, go into the, if you're looking at the altar area.
I love, chicks named Pippa are awesome.
Any chick named Pippa is just okay in my book.
So they go into the right-hand door, as you look at the altar, and they all go in there, and then there's nothing that happens, and they play some songs, dun-da-da-da-da-da-da, dun-da-da-da-da-da-da, dun-da-da-da-da.
And so then the group of people without the bride and groom come out the same door and we wait.
And then the bride and groom come out the other door.
Yeah.
To walk down the aisle and leave.
What was that all about?
Oh, they're all doing blow off a hooker's belly button.
That's what they're doing behind the door.
Jell-O shots.
I think Jell-O shots.
Do you have any idea what's going on back there?
No, I didn't see that.
Some British thing?
Do they have to inject him with some fluid?
Or does some sex act have to take place?
I mean, what goes on back there?
And nobody says anything while they're showing it.
Not one commentator commented on what they're doing in the back there.
I don't know, man.
I really don't know.
Well, I was curious about it.
You know they were taking bets on everything at this wedding?
The bookies in London do anything they can.
They were betting on, for example, the Queen's hat, what color it was going to be.
How about Posh Spice's hat?
What an abortion that was.
Some of those hats were unbelievable.
The Queen's hat, odds on, was yellow.
And they actually had betting on who was going to be the first one to cry.
And guess who won?
I don't know who.
John Boehner.
Hot pocket in the morning.
Wow.
Wow.
I can't remember.
I remembered to set you up for that one.
That's a long road.
John always gives me like, okay, I'm going to set you up for this one.
And this kind of sucked, but not as bad as usual.
Yeah.
That was okay.
It's always going to suck.
Yeah.
Now, I have something that'll just be so much fun to listen to.
As you know, I'm always out there looking for what's going on in the world of choo-choo trains.
All aboard, trains good, planes bad.
Woo!
Now, so, you know, I subscribe to the RSS feed of the U.S. High Speed Rail Association, who have their own little website.
Now, this, of course, is the shill organization that is trying to steal all this money to do all this crazy crap for trains that we don't need, which will only benefit Berkshire Hathaway and other people who...
Actually, Bill Gates apparently owns a large chunk of the railroad as well, of...
Some, I don't know which freight outfit he owns.
CX, CTX, CNSX. CSX, maybe?
CSX? CSX, maybe I don't know.
So, they've got this clip, homepage!
And Andy Kuntz, who, he looks exactly the way his name sounds, Andy Kuntz, is on Fox Business, I think.
With the Varney show, is that Fox Business?
Maybe.
Stuart Varney?
Maybe.
I don't know.
And so they have this listed as Andy Koontz promoting high-speed rail.
I'm like, okay, this will be a puff piece, but it's the biggest fail in the world.
And I can't believe that these guys are so brazen to actually put this on their website like it's a good score.
For high-speed rail, because I have to say, this Stuart Varney guy, who's a Brit, totally nails the guy, and it's just one hilarious moment after another.
And you can hear the entire elitist agenda from the get-go.
Good to be here.
Here's where I'm coming from.
You cannot build a high-speed rail system in the United States.
It will take you decades, if not a half century.
And that delay adds to the cost, making it wildly over-expensive.
And you say?
Well, it took us 40 years to build our interstate highway system.
It's a big infrastructure project.
It's the 21st century.
We need to do it, and we need to get going on it.
What?
We need to do it.
We just need to do it.
Shut up.
We need to do it.
We got to get going on it.
This is how he starts off.
I'm like, this will be interesting.
I can't believe they keep up on it.
I mean, the fact that this high-speed rail...
Ah, it's ridiculous.
Well, listen to Varney, because he basically, he has all of our talking points.
Good for him.
No, he's very good.
He has all of our talking points.
So you agree with me that you can't build it within a period of decades, literally, and I presume you also agree with him that the longer the delay, the greater the expense, and therefore we cannot afford it.
We have to build it.
I mean, I don't know what else we're going to have for transportation in 20 years from now.
Well, what do you mean?
This is already a done deal.
We have to build it.
We have to build it.
Why?
Yeah, we have to build it.
I got the president.
I got O'Biden.
I got George W. Obama.
Everyone's on board.
What are you talking about?
We have to build it.
What's your problem, Varney?
What's wrong with the highways?
What?
I'm sorry.
They're dependent on oil that's spiraling out of control and price.
So your position depends entirely on the ever-rising cost of fuel, which you say we cannot afford, but we can afford to build a wildly expensive high-speed rail system that will take decades to put in place.
So this guy is actually saying it's because of the spiraling cost of oil that we have to build trains, which apparently run on Water.
The magic.
Yeah, total magnetic magic or something like that.
Really?
It actually would cost, the entire national system would cost about one quarter of what we've spent on the interstate highway system.
So it's actually not wildly expensive.
It's a big infrastructure project covering 17,000 miles.
Of course, it's going to be expensive.
Anything we do that size is going to be expensive.
Okay.
Do I have to pay for it?
There was a proposal to put a high-speed rail system in place in Florida.
The government of Florida said, no, we're not going to do it because we can't afford it and we don't want to pay for it.
And you say?
Well, if we want a system, we have to pay for it.
We have to pay for airports.
We have to pay for roads.
I mean, we're paying for all that.
We need to do this, and this is how we're going to move the nation into the 21st century.
Can you believe that this is the guy who's the CEO? Is this the best they can do?
I know!
And they have this on the website like it's genius!
I could do a better job!
In your sleep!
With one eyebrow tied behind your back!
This is crazy!
Of course we have to pay for it!
Of course we have to pay for it!
Is there no cost which is too expensive?
I don't see that it's too expensive.
I mean, when you figure out the amount of mobility you get per dollar spent, it's a much greater bargain than roads or airports combined.
Wait a minute.
Come on.
How many billions of dollars was it going to be at first estimate to go from Tampa St.
Pete to Orlando?
How many billions was that?
The first estimate and the final estimate was about $2.9 billion.
So now it gets very interesting because now Varney starts to trap him.
And the guy actually falls right into the trap, which really explains why this high-speed rail will never get built in our lifetime, and that it'll be too expensive if they really continue down this road.
He does a good job of trapping the guy.
$2.9 billion for just that relatively short stretch.
Right.
But we've spent four times that much on I-4, the interstate, between that little short stretch.
Yeah, but it's in place.
We've got it.
Well, we've spent the money.
We've built it.
How do you know?
Well, we've spent the money.
We've got to spend the money.
We've got to spend the money.
How long would it take to build Tampa St.
Pete to Orlando?
A decade?
Probably about two to three years.
No.
You cannot be serious, sir.
Absolutely you can.
Every lawyer in Florida will jump on this and say, not across my land.
You haven't compensated me enough.
So here's where he traps him.
It's not anyone's land.
It's down the interstate.
That was the easiest system because it was the interstate of the highway I-4.
And you're not going to interrupt some lizard or some tortoise or some bird that flies overhead?
It's already a transportation corridor, so that was an easy setup.
That was the easiest one in America.
See what an idiot the guy is?
He's actually tilting his hand by saying, well, this is why we started off with the easy ones, because we can show some wins within two years, and the rest will take a hundred years to build because everyone's going to try and stop it.
I think Varney's genius in this.
Really did a good job.
Yeah, Varney's pretty good.
I've seen him a couple times.
They're grooming him to perhaps get a Fox News show.
Oh, really?
He's on Fox Business, and they bring him over once in a while.
You know, they got him and Napolitano.
They're kind of queued up because they got the Glenn Beck spot opening.
Yeah.
And they're rearranging other people.
Let me just give you the final blow because he really nails the guy at the end.
$291 billion worth.
So he's talking about China.
You know, like $291 billion in the hole.
This is what you want for the United States.
...of debt for the Chinese high-speed rail system.
One Chinese professor describes it as worse than the subprime crash is coming to China because of this.
Well, I don't know.
I mean, we're spending five times that on a war that we're not even getting anything out of it.
We're not getting a rail system, we're not getting a transportation system out of that money.
I'm sorry, I've wasted so much time in this interview.
That's where you're coming from.
You're saying that because we spent, what, a trillion dollars in Iraq, that we're spending that to secure the oil, we should be spending that on high-speed rail.
Is that your argument?
What I'm saying is that we have gone into debt to do a war, which we're not going to get any benefit of.
China is going into debt to build a...
He nails him to the wall.
But go ahead.
Go look at the U.S. High-Speed Rail Association.
It's on their homepage.
What are they thinking?
Andy Koons promotes high-speed rail on Fox.
Good job, Andy.
There'll be a little something extra in your paycheck today.
Next time, put him on MSNBC where they'll play the game.
Yeah, really.
It's like, how stupid can you get to put him on with this guy?
I thought it was great.
And then show it!
I'd be paying money.
You know, maybe you should take this off.
Can you take it out of the archives?
I'd be doing a DMCA request takedown from Google.
Now, instead, what is this, the brilliant Hill and Knowlton?
Did they change PR firms?
I'll tell you what it is.
You want to know what it is?
Yeah, please.
Hill and Knowlton is still doing it, but here's what happens.
This is classic public...
And anyone out there who runs a corporation that uses these agencies will say, yep, Dvorak's right.
They start you off with the heavy hitters and the big fees every month, and then very slowly they start bringing in the interns.
Yeah, you get the interns on the job.
I think Dorothy.
Dorothy, she's new, but she's really talented.
She just came out of Cornell, and she'll be able to handle it, no problem.
Cornell.
The bill stays the same.
Bonehead.
You're so right.
It's so right.
First, they got the guys who did the pitch come in, and they roll out for probably, on an account like this, they probably do six months.
Maybe a little longer.
Yeah, probably a million a month.
At least.
And that's excluding costs and travel and hookers and stuff.
Fantastic.
Just, I love it.
Great job.
So, I don't know where Andy Koontz came from.
But he's not doing a very good job.
He's kind of making our argument for us.
I really appreciate it.
Yeah, well, we don't make the argument that much anymore.
I think we beat it to death.
It's so obvious.
But it's kind of...
Now it's just falling apart on its own.
Typical.
Is it really?
I mean, is it...
I guess it is kind of.
Now the states are rejecting it, right?
Yeah, I think it's his lost cause.
It'll crop up a bunch of the left-wingers who think, you know, like Michael Moore, who thinks he's going to take a train from New York to L.A. and be there in 12 hours.
So, you know, unfortunately, I couldn't find any video of the full commencement speech that Obama did when he was in Florida.
So, first of all, there's two things.
There's this great video.
There's no audio of it.
But there's this great video of the first family coming off of the Air Force One, which, by the way, was not the 747 again.
So they went down to the space shuttle launch, and I think it was the 757.
I have no idea why they don't take the good plane.
They're taking, like, the banger.
But they have two of them, or more?
No, but they've got all different kinds.
They have different models.
It's not just two 747s.
This is like the 757.
It would be a 767.
There's no way there's a 757 outfitted for the president.
I'm pretty sure it's a 757.
Well, okay.
I could be wrong.
That just doesn't make any sense.
The plane is cramped.
It's not a big plane.
So he comes down the steps, and it's not out of the nose of the plane, it's out of the side, because it's a smaller aircraft or whatever.
It's configured differently.
He comes down the steps, and you've got to see this video.
It's great, because someone did it in slow-mo.
And then there's a couple...
Do you notice the way he walks?
He holds his hands up kind of like Montgomery Burns on The Simpsons.
He has his hands in a praying mantis position.
Hello, everybody!
Yes.
And then he bounces, he bounces, and his hands bounce up and down.
But it's like a praying mantis.
Hello, everybody!
I'm Barack.
So he bounces down like a praying mantis, bounces down the stairs, and there's always two military men there.
And they salute him.
And then the guy shakes his hand and passes a note to him.
But almost like you give a maitre d' a tip.
And the president takes it in his hand, and he doesn't read it, he puts it in his pocket.
It's the weirdest thing.
You know, almost like this thing is not going off today.
Here's the note just so you know in advance so you can, like, sneak out the back and we'll pretend you're here waiting for that thing, but you can go get a burger.
It's the weirdest thing.
You see this video.
It's like, wow, he slips him a note.
Maybe it was a tip.
I don't know.
It could have been a tip.
But you have to see this video.
It could have been a tip, tipping the president.
Hey, good job.
Good job on that correspondence.
Oh, no, that was before the correspondence.
Anyway, so he does the...
You've got to see that video.
It'll freak you out.
You'll blog that, I guarantee it.
So he does the commencement speech, which is kind of the graduation thing for the Miami-Dade College.
And I wish I had this on audio.
Why?
Every college, every major university.
I can tell you why.
It's because he was promoting the DREAM Act, and there's a lot of immigrants there who want to become citizens.
Yeah, there's a lot of them at the University of Florida.
There's a lot of them at Florida State, big schools.
Well, they paid him.
Well, maybe that's what the tip was for.
It's like, you're going to Miami-Dade, Prez.
Here's a hundy.
I'll give you a hundred bucks if you go to Miami-Dade.
Let me slip that to you.
I find it peculiar that he would go to Miami.
You're not taking me seriously.
This is screwy.
I don't know.
We're talking about a...
I don't know.
I don't know.
The only thing I can think of is they have a better military recruitment program because he was talking about the DREAM Act and the whole idea behind the DREAM Act is you can become a citizen if you go into service, if you promise to go get yourself blown up in Afghanistan.
That's how the DREAM Act works.
I don't see it any other way.
So maybe they have a better recruitment program at the Miami-Dade University.
Maybe they have a better PA system, for all we know.
So here's his quote.
Class of 2011, you and your generation are now responsible for our future.
I'm only going to be president a little bit longer.
You're going to be leaders for many years to come.
Now, do you not find that weird that he says that?
I'm only going to be president a little bit longer?
Yeah, it is kind of weird.
You know, I mean, six more years, essentially.
Well, yeah, but maybe, you know, we still have it in our list of, you know, kind of quasi and real predictions.
That he's going to give up, that he's going to quit.
That he's going to give up so he can spend more time with the daughters.
Mm-hmm.
It's possible, just thinking off the top of my head, that he's starting to do his campaign collecting early because he's supposed to get a billion dollars in money.
If he collects a bunch of money, he can...
I know you can't take the money from personal.
Some can fall off the truck.
There's supposed to be some money falling off the truck, and that's why he's out campaigning so soon.
Michelle, baby, I'm retiring.
We're going out in style, girlfriend.
But to say that...
I don't know.
Go on.
I find that it was awkward.
Yeah, you're right.
I'm only going to be president a little bit longer.
So a little bit longer is a couple years to me, not six more years.
Right.
Six years is a long time.
That's a whole college plus graduate school.
I mean, it's more than a little bit longer.
So I just thought that was interesting.
And it just kind of plays into our thesis about him actually giving up, which I think you called, by the way.
Yeah, it was a long shot, because I still think Hillary's...
Since Hillary, now it's apparent Hillary's not going to be the vice president...
Because they've made the, you know, unless something weird happens, which can always happen at the last minute, you know, all of a sudden, you know, Biden has to not run and have to bring Hillary in because they want to, you know, Hillary needs to be in by, I mean, she's already too old to run.
Hillary?
Yeah, if you really take a look now.
What are you talking about?
Well, she's going to be too old to run in six years.
How old is she?
She's 90.
She's 91.
Hot pockets!
Really?
Hillary's 91.
Sorry.
I was going to say Celebrity Ambassadors.
A closed-door meeting our president had with Rosario Dawson, big movie star.
Emilio Estefan, of course, Gloria Estefan's husband and a huge producer.
Mighty Sound Machine, but he's produced a lot of stuff.
America Ferrara, you know, the ugly Betty girl.
Eva Longoria, behind closed doors meeting, because you'll see these people coming out to support the immigration reform.
Look for it.
This is exactly what was always the mission, you know, is combine politics with celebrities in show business, and that's how we sell the message.
Where's George, by the way?
We haven't seen him.
I think he's been kicked to the curb.
I think ever since he blew it, we pointed out on one of our shows that Clooney blew his lines on one of these bands.
Yeah, it was on Piers Morgan he was blowing his lines.
He blew his lines, and that was that.
And we haven't heard from him since.
It's like he apparently can't memorize his lines.
He's probably not very good on stage either.
He has to be a movie actor where the person behind the camera can yell the lines at you, and then you repeat them.
And Matt Damon, by the way, is out.
Remember Matt Damon?
Oh, by the way, also on Piers Morgan.
This is interesting.
Matt Damon was out, but he was brought into the mix at the Obama Douchebag Fest at the Correspondents Club.
I got the clip.
It was not good for Matt Damon.
Well, play it.
I've even let down my key core constituency.
There it is.
That's the truth.
That is your key core constituency.
You've got to have Hollywood.
Movie stars.
Just the other day, Matt Damon.
I love Matt Damon.
Love the guy.
Matt Damon said he was disappointed in my performance.
Well, Matt, I just saw the Adjustment Bureau, so...
Right back at you, buddy.
Right back at you, buddy.
That's pretty harsh.
Don't cross the Presidente.
Yeah, he's supposed to have a thin skin.
He's always got the greatest sense of humor.
He's funny and he's got good comedy.
As a comedian, he'd be great.
But he doesn't take it very well.
And the fact that Matt Damon did, and I remember him doing it, I guess it was on Pierce Morgan.
He said, I'm disappointed in what Obama's done.
If you're like his supporter, you can be a Republican and say whatever you want, but if you're a member of the Democrat cult and you turn on the great leader...
Mmm, bad.
You're out.
Very bad on you.
Very bad.
It's like any other cult.
Yeah.
Cult of the Obama.
I ran into a...
I was watching...
Oh, it was on C-SPAN. David Brooks has a new book, and I have a clip that I'm developing.
David Brooks is a writer for the New York Times?
Right.
He's supposedly the conservative at the New York Times, and he's not really.
He looks like he's a CIA guy, and who knows.
But whatever the case is, he came up with this very interesting book, and I don't have the title in front of me.
The chat room can have it.
We should put it in our list.
It's his new book, and it's about research done on the brain and how people work in groups and stuff like that.
It's quite interesting.
But he had this little, he had a couple of things that he did.
I have two clips.
He had one kind of a slam of the self-esteem movement, which I thought was interesting.
But more interesting was the political commentary he made at the question and answer session.
And I found this fascinating because there's two things you're going to find out.
One is that Brooks, David Brooks, meets with Obama more than most members of Congress do.
And Brooks even found this to be somewhat...
Distressing.
And when I heard it, I thought it was ridiculous, to be honest about it, that Obama, the great, you know, change, hope and change guy, won't meet with Congressman Ryan at all.
He's never met that guy.
Here, play this clip.
What do you believe that our current, can you name three things our current president has done correctly and a dozen things, 20 things that he has not?
Let's see.
Three things he's done correctly.
One, he's the best education president we've had since I've been covering education.
What?
What?
Bullcrap.
The best education president ever?
Really?
Really?
Yeah.
I don't know where he gets that from.
What's the point of that?
I guess it's because that Arnie guy who seems like a dimwit sells a good game.
I don't know.
Maybe because he gives it some attention.
I have no idea.
Two.
I disagreed with him at the time, but he was right to rescue GM. Two.
You know, I could list more, actually.
There are some things I disagree with, but I do think, and I cover the President.
I speak to him periodically.
I certainly speak to people on his staff almost every day or several times a week.
And I would say within the White House, I disagree with him.
I'm to his right.
But within the White House, there genuinely is a culture of debate.
As for the failures, you know, I thought when we did healthcare, I thought we had two central tasks.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
This is a reporter who's talking like this?
Yeah.
When we did healthcare, we had two central tasks?
What, is he in the administration?
Well, kinda.
First was to...
To cover 39 million unassured people, and the second was to get our cost inflation under control.
We did one.
I don't think we did the second.
So that would be one thing I disagree with.
I think he tried too much in the first few years and really...
Really polarized the country maybe more than it needed to be.
I wish he would call some of the members of the opposing parties.
Someone I'm friendly with is a guy named Paul Ryan from Wisconsin, a very smart chairman of the House Budget Committee.
I know them both men.
They would really get along.
They'd have wonderful conversations about the future budget, which could really lay the groundwork for some compromises.
But Obama has never called Ryan and asked him over to the White House.
He's never had a conversation with him.
And I just think they should at least talk.
That's really interesting.
Yeah, I found that quite fascinating.
But Ryan is also a douchebag.
They're all douchebags.
Well, we got that established, so I don't think we need to belabor it.
But the fact is that it seems as if you would do that.
You'd probably meet the guy once or twice.
Yeah, bring him over.
I mean, he's got, like you just said, a bunch of celebrity creeps in his office for whatever reason.
Yeah, celebrity creeps.
Don't worry, he'll get some celebrity creeps in whenever he needs to sell this, his budget.
But it's like he won't meet with members of Congress, but he'll meet with people from Hollywood?
I mean, is that what we're hearing here?
And apparently meet with David Brooks a couple times a month?
It's a we.
David and I. Hello, everybody.
David and I. We've taken on health care.
I'm getting better, right?
You're getting a little better, yeah.
I think if you read some of his transcripts while watching him...
Yeah, I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying.
I think you have the right tone, the tonal qualities of your voice to be able to do Obama.
Hello, everybody.
This will be the best, the best commencement speech I've ever done.
Yeah, it's very...
I say within the next six months...
John, look...
Let me be clear with you.
You will have nailed it.
The key to Obama is actually in the chest resonance.
Here's what's going to happen.
I'm going to have it nailed and then he's going to quit.
Just about the time I can finally do it.
Anyway, speaking of healthcare for a minute here.
So we've been tracking this Alzheimer's thing.
And, wow, it's amazing, because when you put the human resources, when you point them in a direction, and, of course, we have No Agenda News Network.
Again, if you want to contribute, just drop me an email, adam at curry.com.
Put No Agenda News Network, or N-A-N-N, in the subject line, and I'll get you on the system.
Wow, it comes in fast and furious.
So there's a couple things going on.
First of all, Seth Rogen seems to be the celebrity for the Alzheimer's.
He's out everywhere talking about Alzheimer's, how brutal it is.
Larry King is doing a special on Alzheimer's.
That's tonight, actually, I think.
Yep.
And Seth Rogen, of course, a great actor, very funny guy.
And I think his mother-in-law has Alzheimer's, and so they interview him.
You've got to put a celebrity in there if you want to get some attention.
But then I see this.
I'm like, wow.
So first I thought it was, well, we've got this.
They're talking about a vaccine, and there may be a way to identify it earlier.
Basically, if you're just confused, you probably have tendencies towards Alzheimer's, so you probably get that vaccine shot a little earlier, just in case.
You know, they've lowered the bar for determining what Alzheimer's is.
We talked about that on the last show.
And now, from the annals of British medicine, comes fantastic news that a relatively cheap, in fact, only two pence.
Two pence.
What is that, John?
Eighteen dollars?
Two pence?
I think it's closer to that.
A cheap antidepressant drug costing a little over two pence a dose could stave off Alzheimer's.
Well, this shouldn't be in the script.
Well, it is in the script, because do you know what this cheap antidepressant is?
Oh, okay, what?
Lithium.
Oh, really?
Lithium and Alzheimer's?
Yeah, so this is what they're going to do.
Yeah, but this is screwing up the scenario for the vaccine.
No, no, no, no.
No, it's very simple because, first of all, not every single community is going to want to have lithium in their water, but this is what they're going to do.
Just like the Chinese, they've talked about it before, we just need to put some lithium in your water and, you know, it'll be good for you because it stops early Alzheimer's.
And if you don't, well, then you can just, you know, not drink that and take the vaccine.
Makes you want to sleep a lot.
Yeah, of course, lithium is going to make you completely docile, stupid slave.
So I can't believe that they're actually pushing this.
I can't.
You can't?
Really?
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
What am I thinking?
So that just like went, oh, okay.
I get it.
Everyone's jockeying for position now on this stuff.
And I guess they're also trying to get the flu vaccine to be approved by Medicare.
So now Medicare is going to pay for it.
It's just nuts.
It's completely nuts.
They're really going all out.
They really have no...
I just don't care.
Okay.
So I've got a couple good things for the second half of the show, which is coming up, but maybe just to lead us into it.
This is what is all over the Arab news.
As you know, I have my sources everywhere as a part of the Noagent News Network.
Can you recognize these voices, John?
hold on can you recognize the voice Yes, Mickey.
This is the phone call here.
That is, unmistakingly, the voice of Saddam Hussein.
This is the phone call that is rocking the Arab world as one of the ministers in Iraq had this phone call, and everyone says, oh my God, that's him.
It's Saddam Hussein.
What?
Isn't that amazing?
Doesn't sound like him to me.
I think it's him.
I think it's totally him.
I'm going to show my support by donating to no agenda.
Imagine all the people who could do that.
Oh, yeah, that'd be fab.
Yeah, on no agenda.
In the morning.
Okay, this is going to take a little while, but there's a couple of things we've got to do here.
By the way, I do have to add a couple more people to the executive producer roles that came in as hard copy checks.
Oh, for today's list?
Okay.
Let's make sure we get them.
I'm going to do that at the top, which is, I don't want to mention who it is.
It's like Jerry Lenski in Memphis, Tennessee.
He really enjoys his show.
He's been listening since the beginning.
Decided it's time to become a donor, not a boner.
Brain scrambling examples you aired recently show me that's really a good reason to wear a tinfoil hat.
Yes.
Keep up the good work.
Also, AJ Reistad, who is the executive producer of episode 202, is also the executive producer of, he sent us a donation, plus 3333 for some karma, if you can give us some karma.
He needs some karma.
Sorry.
You've got karma.
Didn't mean to interrupt you.
He needs some karma to his co-slave, Chad Nelson, who turned me on to the podcast.
And a shout out for his No Agenda stickers website, VinylRocket.com slash NA. We do encourage people to get stickers and stick them all over the place, especially near toll booths.
There's actually the new NoAgendaNation.com site has a couple of stickers.
Go to VinylRocket.com slash NA for more stickers.
And I can tell that Eric made the stickers.
Because they're like, really?
It's like Eric kind of like, is he in the Tea Party?
Eric the Shill?
No, but...
He's got like Thomas Jefferson quotes and then no agenda.
Oh, yeah.
A bit much.
He means well.
Yeah, well, somebody might like that.
The Tea Party member might think that's the world's greatest sticker.
I haven't seen him.
Possible.
He's planning a knighthood.
Episode 333 will put him over the top.
He's requesting he wants to become the Baron of Sepulveda or something like that.
He's also executive producer of 301, by the way, because he was supposed to be 299.
I forgot to mention him last week.
Also, we have a...
In advance, we're going to have an executive producer for show 300 and 301, CKP Creative LLC. And also on this pile here is G. Lenski in Memphis, Tennessee, which I don't think is on the list.
It's $300 for it.
And he'll be executive producer for today's show.
Meanwhile, we have this huge list.
Well, let's go over the people that actually contributed lesser amounts to today's show, if I bring up the right spreadsheet, including LaPan in Mesa, Arizona.
He made a mention of the Daily Show.
The Democrats had to agree to a $33...
This is kind of a complicated thing to read.
A little long.
Oh, he had a whole bunch of magic numbers he had noticed and stuff?
Yeah, he's going for the 11-11-11.
He donated $111.11.
Adam, you are not to add the extra penny when he gets close.
He's born in 1980, be turning 31 this year, 111.
Was able to talk to the local Army Guard CO and hit him in the mouth with a no agenda show and talked to him about briefing for all his soldiers.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
By the way, the Don't Ask, Don't Tell, did you see the piece of news that floated out this last week?
About the lesbian?
No, about the fact that Obama says they're going to put it off a little longer.
No, I can't believe I missed that.
You're kidding me.
Yeah, Mimi caught it.
It was running around there.
Oh, no.
Gee, you think?
So now the Pentagon says, you know, we're going to put it off.
No.
Well, nobody has said anything.
You're kidding me.
How come no one alerted me to this?
This is like my number one pet peeve.
They slipped it in under the, like, just under the radar during the wedding.
Oh my goodness.
While you're reading, I'm going to check and see if I can find this news.
Keith Edwards, I can send you a link.
It's only showed up in a couple places.
No, I got it right here.
Don't ask.
Obama wants rule to remain a while.
Oh my God!
Sorry, I didn't mean to take the Lord's name in vain, but...
The Obama administration wants a federal appeals court to maintain the ban on openly gay service members until the Pentagon is ready for them, probably by the end of the year, and to reject a demand for an immediate halt to don't ask, don't tell.
Oh man, this is in the Ninth Circuit now.
Of course.
This is never going to happen.
Isn't this hilarious?
This is never going to happen.
This is what we predicted.
This is never going to happen.
Well, you caught it.
I'm giving you full credit on this because you dug through the bill and found that the whole thing was a scam.
It's one page.
Any douche at that douche fest last night could have read it and could have known this.
Yeah, well, they're all celebrating the end of it.
Yay!
Woo!
We can all be gay!
By Curious Mail, I'm still extremely angry about this.
Well, when you join the Army, you're going to be even madder.
Yes.
Keith Edwards, Gilbert, Arizona, 11111.
P... Sir, P... Snakes.
Snakes.
Snakes.
Remember, like sneakers on the planet.
Snakes.
Snakes.
Our knight.
He's in for 1111.
David Dolson, Houston, Texas.
Who's up and coming night.
Congratulations on show 300.
Daniel Foster up and coming night.
Maynardsville, Tennessee.
Hold on.
Daniel is...
No, he's not a night yet.
Okay, I'm sorry.
He's going to be.
Today.
Oh, really?
Today?
That's why he wanted me to throw in the extra penny.
Okay, got it.
99.99.
You throw in the extra penny.
I just did.
Gail Mantel in Berkeley...
Farms in Berkeley?
Hey, John and Adam, good job for the podcast.
I would like to call my future ex-wife out as a douchebag.
Douchebag!
Congrats on those nuptials, my friend.
Future ex-wife.
Yeah, future ex-wife.
I guess he's got that right.
And if I can get some karma, that would be nice.
I love the show.
Should have done a double.
Yeah, really.
You've got karma.
He says he's a French guy living in Berkeley, but it doesn't count.
You're still French living in Berkeley.
We only have two people in France that we know of.
Evan Erickson, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.
Been listening to the show since I was 18, which was in 2007.
I'm donating because No Agenda is definitely a great product.
That's cool.
And AJ Reistad also coughed up 5454 from Caldwell, Idaho.
We just promoted him a second ago.
What do you think?
Matiosis. Matiosis. Matiosis. Matiosis.
In Rockland, Massachusetts.
Sorry I let 300 shows go by before I donate.
No agenda is one of the best uses of the internet.
Keep up the great work.
Please play Dvorak.org slash NA instead of the D-douche jingle.
And then we have a number of $50 donors.
Christopher Lawton, George Vanderhorst, Black Knight George, actually.
Greg Brunsel in Kenosha, Wisconsin.
Greg Reddell in St.
Peter's, Missouri.
He's requesting a de-douching for his birthday on Today.
You've been de-douched.
And finally, Mark McLenna in Watertown, Connecticut is asking us to give ourselves a karma call out.
That's kind of dirty, but I'll do it, no problem.
Self-karmanization.
You've got karma.
I actually got a very nice note from Dame Tanya.
Just wanted to let you know I requested job karma for a friend on the show in early April.
He got a great job this week.
Thanks, guys.
Don't thank us!
No, don't thank us.
Thank the karma.
We cannot vouch for anything other than what it is.
Now, I'm a little confused.
I just tried to send Eric a note on the back channel.
I've got David Dawson on the knighthood list twice for today.
Are we supposed to have...
Daniel Foster, is he supposed to become a knight?
I don't understand.
I don't know.
We can't knight David twice.
Well, while I'm reading the...
Hopefully he's still listening.
He usually falls asleep.
I think he's falling asleep and he's just like...
He falls asleep.
He's taking the stickers off noagendanation.com.
I'm taking it off.
Douchebag Curry's slamming me again.
Oh, there he is.
Okay, we're good.
Thanks.
So you can...
We can always put it off into the next show.
He's alive.
It's okay.
And he does The Black Knight.
We can do that.
So let's rattle off our 100 members of the 300 Club.
And...
You want to do some?
You want me to do some?
I can do some?
You can do some?
Let me just do some until I run out of state.
No, why don't you start?
Then we get to the American names and I'll take over.
Okay.
And we're going to name the member because they're already producers but now they're producers again for this show and it is members of the 300 Club.
And we've got it by country.
Yes.
So some of them are also not categorized, so I'll start with the ones that are either stand-alone by country or just not categorized otherwise.
Baron Steven Pelsmachers, thank you very much.
Antony Kosmichich.
Oh man, this is why you want me to start, right?
Antony Kosmichich.
Kosmichich.
Kosmichich.
Marcel Heymans, Edward Beardhausen.
And then we're into Australia.
Go ahead, John.
Jessica Walters, Barry Wilson, Matthew Greensmith, Troy Walters, Philip Smith, Lloyd Kransky, Simon Alicia, James Herka, Jessica Walters, and then into Canada.
Your turn.
We have Anonymous from Canada, Black Knight Kelly, Sir Seelock, Kevin Liang, Jeffrey Pasito, Bill Hertha, Gerald Gionet, Oleg Rakatin, and then off to you for Switzerland.
Switzerland.
Cloud Sigma AG. I'll do also Czech Republic.
Andrei Kalka.
From Gitmo Nation Deutschland, Patrick Brennan, Hans-Jörg Schulz, and from Gitmo Nation Ishinai Kingdom, Billy McFedris, Lawrence McBride, Sir Mark Dytham from Tokyo, Michael Gogos, also from Tokyo.
We're into Japan now.
From Kyoto, we have an anonymous 300 producer.
Angelique Overbeke from Gitmo Nation Lowlands from Norway.
SirGear, I would say.
Yes, SirGear.
Yes, SirGear.
And then, John, this is for you, the next one.
The anonymous one from Rydia.
Yeah.
From Rydia.
Riyadh.
Exactly.
We got some Swedish guys.
Sebastian Nielsen and Jonas Astrum.
Then a couple of...
Now we're into the United States.
Right off the top, two anonymous.
One from Bridgewater, New Jersey.
Richland, Michigan.
We have Black Knight Arad Darien.
Black Knight Vernon White.
Chuck Martin, Cordella, McTank, Sir Daniels, Sir Adam Burkpile, Sir Chase McCarthy, Sir Charles Jordan, Sir Frizz, Sir John Snyder, Sir Maranoff, Sir Mark True, Sir Melanson.
I think that's the way you pronounce it.
Sir Robert Wiltshire, Sir Spitzer, Sir Stephen, that's Stephen von der Hafe, and Sir Tom Derry.
Why don't you pick it up at Pennsylvania?
And then we've got Craig Jones, the No Agenda Challenge people, Mickey Kennedy, Dave Selden, Brian Likorchik, Will Lissak, James Pierce, Chris McGraw, Adam Colby, Joshua Gertzen, Richard Krasnick, Joshua Gertzen, Richard Krasnick, John Kilborn, Gordon Walton, Jason Southwell, Chin Chan Chu, who's actually, I think, in China, but comes up.
Yeah, Clinton, Michigan, China.
John Schumann.
Cole, who's for some reason, actually, his name is actually in caps.
He's unusual, but I think you could make that legal.
Cole Candler.
You didn't put my name in caps!
You didn't pronounce it in all uppercase.
All uppercase.
You have to shout it.
James Sutton, Mediasplash.net, Gary Later, David Dolson, Sean McGrath, Hello Canvas, Nathan Marshall, take the rest of it.
Joshua Hambrick, Francine Hardaway, Brian Kaufman, Josiah Thomas, Jesse Cruz, Charlie Hendrickson, Daniel Foster, Dave Rutterer, Matt Hovey, Mark Crandall, AJ Tissier, Scott Schoenberger, Kenneth, Kyle Holtz, Scott Schoenberger, Kenneth, Kyle Holtz, Damon Daling, Gregory Lodrup, Nicholas Wallace, Ryan Imel, or Imel.
I hope it's not Imel.
It's got to be Imel.
Victor Gregg, Matthew Stroh, Andrew Schmidt, Joe Travis, Robert Suarez, Taylor Stewart, Michael Miller, Don Bean, and Timothy Fike.
Now, these are people who, for the past several months, have been donating to become a part of the 300 Club.
There's something about numbers that you guys like, and we highly appreciate this.
Of course, we'll probably be in the poorhouse for the next few episodes.
But for all of you, I'd like you to take a moment right now because this is your special karma moment.
You've got karma.
I also want to thank Greg Wilcox for a check for $111.11, which came in over the transom.
And also, we have one more from...
Oh, never mind.
That is the one.
Okay.
So this is really good because once in a while we have to do a donation drive.
I like this a lot more than the NPR way of doing it, which is like just boy to death.
And by the way, it's just incessant what they do.
It just never stops.
Oh, they take over the show.
They stop all programming.
So you can't VCR anything or DCR, whatever.
Well, there's nothing to DVR or VCR or record because it's all just pitch.
So we will probably do another donation drive for 333.
We have to do 333.
It's already been suggested.
That's a super lucky number.
That is the number that, once we go past 333, it's going to be tough.
Now, we understand that many people can't...
Contribute to these levels, your giving level is lower, but believe me, the $5 a month, the $11 a month, anything that you're doing on a periodic basis is so highly appreciated, and it enables us to do what we do, which of course consists of not watching porn photography shoots, but actually watching douchebags on CNN. That was a great sacrifice you made.
I think it was.
Dvorak.org slash N-A And there's only one birthday for today.
We've already mentioned him, but we do it for everybody.
Regardless, Greg Riddell, congratulations on your birthday today from your buddies here at the No Agenda Show.
It's your birthday, yeah!
I've got my blade.
Is this the kind of thing that Eric's going to try and sell?
I want that one this heavy.
Yeah, okay.
Shipping is going to be enormous.
We've got Jonas Astam, David Dolson.
Oleg Rakatine and Daniel Foster.
Please step forward.
The four of you have now reached your giving level of $1,000 or more.
For some, we've even had to kick in the extra penny, but that's okay because I proudly pronounce the ninth of the No Agenda Roundtable.
Sir Jonas, Sir David, Oleg Rakatine, Sir Oleg, and Sir Daniel Foster.
Please enjoy your hookers and blow.
Or Rent Boys and Carbonet.
Carbonet?
Carbonet.
Oh, jeez.
What's the code for that Carbonet?
I'm melting.
Carbonet.
It's a new wine.
Carbonet.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry.
Wow.
Yes, I think you're right.
I think it's coming back, the flu.
Let me just caffeinate myself here for a second.
There you go.
So I did pick up on a couple of fun little ditties.
That were, you know, of course, I got my eye on what's happening with the Arab Spring.
As we know, Syria, of course, is next.
And what's his name?
Lieberman, Larry Lieberman.
And Greg Graham.
No, Lindsey Graham.
And who else?
And I guess the president himself.
They're all like saying...
Which other warmongers?
Yeah, well, the president.
So, you know, there was an executive order.
Did you see that?
The executive order for Syria?
It's the exact same script.
So now there's an executive order that says, you know, there's calling out a couple of these douchebags in Syria and we're freezing assets.
It's the exact same thing.
Exact same thing.
And McCain.
McCain is out there.
Oh, we should go into Syria.
It's a human tragedy.
It's just it continues.
It continues.
Now, I know.
Can you do that again, though?
So the United Nations, of course.
This is an amazing report about Libya.
That horrible woman, Lucifer Clinton's butt buddy, Susan Rice, in closed-door meeting, but it has been confirmed by the Washington Post, I think.
Let me just see if I have the story here.
I think it was actually the Washington Post that followed up on the story.
She was in a closed-door meeting and was saying, "Oh, you know, everything is so horrible." And that Gaddafi is...
Here it is.
Several UN diplomats who attended the closed-door Security Council meeting on Libya told Reuters that Susan Rice said in this meeting that Colonel Gaddafi had issued Viagra to his troops so they could rape women.
Yeah, I heard that one.
Can you believe this crap?
Unbelievable.
I mean, really?
I mean, is that the best?
For one thing, it's beyond...
I mean, to think that this is a creative...
Because you're always trying to dream up little things to get people to be on your side of this war.
Right, right, right.
When you're going to have any war, and this is known, this is World War I, you have to have a bunch of propaganda to vilify the enemy, make them evil.
Right.
This is so over-the-top stupid that it's like, has this woman got an IQ of 80?
I mean, why is she even in this position?
I just find it such a horrible, horrible thing to make up, even.
Yeah.
And how stupid...
Because this is really good, you know?
You're really great at combat when you've got your jabroni sticking out for five hours.
Yeah, that's really great.
You're an idiot.
Oh, yeah, no, because now they have weapons of mass destruction between their legs or something.
This is the typical of...
Women who don't know what a penis looks like or how it functions, that's for sure.
Yeah, I would think that's part of it.
Jeez.
I mean, really?
Yeah, quote.
This is from Reuters.
She spoke of reports of soldiers getting Viagra and raping.
She spoke of Gaddafi's soldiers targeting children and other atrocities.
Really?
Really?
She should be thrown in irons for this.
No, they're not going to.
No, but besides the fact that we know that it's not true, this whole thing is a setup, to take it that far?
And then meanwhile, of course, they kill his youngest in some NATO attack.
Well, that's already been denied, that that didn't happen.
That they killed his son and three grandchildren.
Let's see, Al Jazeera is saying skepticism, so then it probably did happen.
If Al Jazeera is saying it didn't happen, you can bet it did.
Whatever the case, it's like they're obviously, they got feet on the ground.
In fact, we have a couple of clips about, first of all, there was an interesting, I can't remember what show this was from, unfortunately, but it was the guy that was the head of the security, the security correspondent for the New York Times, who I think may have been...
Hey, John!
Hey, Mohammed!
Mohammed!
I have had this hard-on for more than four hours!
Who do I call?!
I can't.
I have to call my doctor.
Look at the size of this thing.
I have to call my doctor now.
I can't fight the rebels.
Oh, jeez.
So I got a couple of clips here that are just kind of from, I'll figure out what the show is when we hear it, but it's one of the talk shows in Washington week, I think.
And this guy is talking about Petraeus and how they're starting to play musical chairs at the Pentagon and the CIA. And this is kind of funny because the guy starts to stammer when it seems as though he shouldn't have said what he did.
Now follow the bouncing ball.
With Robert Gates leaving the Defense Department, CIA Chief Leon Panetta heads to the Pentagon, while General David Petraeus leaves Afghanistan to take over in Langley.
Lieutenant General John Allen takes Petraeus' place in Afghanistan, and former ambassador to Iraq Ryan Crocker joins him there as the top U.S. diplomat.
Each man has a different career and a different relationship with the White House that can tell us much about how Obama policy and how wars themselves have changed.
Isn't that right, Mark?
Yeah, there's a lot of familiar faces changing jobs, and one way to look at it is that there's not going to be a significant change in foreign policy or the war in Afghanistan.
General Petraeus will continue to do his job in CIA and...
So Petraeus is going to continue to do his job of what?
Overseeing the drug shipments?
Because he can continue since he's at the CIA now?
I mean, that was just too funny.
But Gwen Ifill, who this show is Washington Week in Review, I think it's Washington Week or something.
Gwen Ifill is the black woman who wrote the fawning book about Obama before the election.
about how great the president is going to be, you know, all this.
And then she was the host of one of the debates.
Yeah, it was controversial.
Yeah.
Yes, controversial.
But she's having trouble supporting him more or less now.
But this guy goes on.
I guess he figures this.
Mark, I can't remember his last name, but he's at the New York Times.
He goes on and on with a kind of a discussion of the fact that the CIA is already in the military and would feed on the ground or they're calling them wingtips on the ground.
So it's not boots anymore?
So this miscellaneous NYT security CIA thing is worth listening to.
There's a certain interchangeability about the CIA and the Pentagon these days.
The Pentagon is very much in the military business.
They're dropping bombs in Pakistan.
The Pentagon is expanding its intelligence gathering.
There's this sort of whole apparatus of secret war going on.
And so in many ways, Panetta and Petraeus will switch jobs, but they'll be very familiar in their positions.
This is so unbelievable that the press is just, so they're all so incredibly smart.
They've got it all figured out.
They can all say, wow, this is, you know, well, of course, this is because the CIA, we have to have more covert operations and this is great.
But none of them is going like, this is outrageous.
There'll be absolutely no transparency on who we're killing with predator drones.
This is crazy.
Yeah, the CIA runs the drones.
And the thing is, they use the term, there's no boots on the ground, but there are wingtips on the ground.
Which is the CIA. And I think the CIA, whoever they are in Libya, are trying to track Gaddafi.
And that's why they keep bombing wherever he shows up.
I mean, this is not a no-fly zone when you're bombing houses that you think Gaddafi's in.
Actually, I have a clip from the UN that explains that it's much more than just a no-fly zone.
Libya is at risk of a full-blown food security crisis within the next 45 to 60 days, warns the World Food Program, WFP. WFP stresses that the country's food security system has been severely disrupted and the country is unable to import enough food due to disruption of port activities and the lack of fuel.
So they're not just maintaining a no-fly zone, they're like starving them.
Yeah, like the Russians did in, I think it was the Ukraine or the Georgians.
Yeah, just starve them.
The Russians did this to a whole country.
Yeah, just don't eat.
Well, that's insane.
It's insane.
I think we should pull out the Ron Paul clip where he actually explains what's going on with the CIA. This is from a while ago.
We played it on the show.
We play it every so often.
Yeah, because you've got to pull it out.
Just to remind the listeners.
Just to remind you.
And by the way, this could easily be your next president.
And by the way, it won't be because of this clip.
I mean, but they're almost like they lived in a different world.
The military's down, the morale is down, the money is in there.
They're going looking for a couple more wars to fight.
It makes no sense whatsoever.
But no, we don't have to worry about the military anymore because there's been a coup.
Have you heard?
It's the CIA coup.
The CIA runs everything.
They run the military.
They're the ones who are over there lobbing missiles and bombs on these countries.
It's not even the military that does that.
The CIA runs this.
And, of course, the CIA is every bit as secret as the Federal Reserve.
And yet, think of the harm that they have done since they were established since World War II. They are a government unto themselves.
They're in businesses.
They're in drug businesses.
And they take on kids.
Have you heard?
Have you heard, John?
Have you heard?
There's been a coup.
There's been a coup in the CIA. It's in the drug business.
That's two of the messages.
They're in the drug business.
That's exactly why...
And they were in the military.
So now we have the head of the CIA going over to the Pentagon.
Yay!
And we have a military guy from Afghanistan coming to the CIA, and nobody thinks this is weird.
Shadow puppet theater!
That's okay.
Yeah, yeah, it's fine.
And the press will just go, like, let's just go laugh at the president's jokes.
Let's not be outraged by this, and let's not...
Because, you know, the CIA is like, you don't want to mess with the CIA, buddy.
It's going to shut up and do your job.
Just report on the royal wedding.
You know, if they...
Actually, that's not even...
That's only partially true because they've actually taken the CIA under their wing and they've become part of the media.
The CIA, various ex-analysts and current analysts and future analysts are all on all these talk shows on MSNBC, Fox, every one of them is a CIA person and they're telling, you know, they're Position, essentially, or the agency's position.
And it's like part of the news cycle.
It's like, whoa, what's the CIA got to say about this?
When did it become so part of everything, like everyday society?
Basically, it's the secret police.
Although I think the Department of Homeland Security is acting more like that.
That they're just, it's like, it's commonplace.
So you say, yeah, the CIA, the military, it's all the same thing.
If the mainstream media said that, nobody would care.
Right?
The CIA has gone beyond being a secret, oh, we can't just shoot anyone who says anything.
Yeah, just shut up.
Meanwhile, the press is still being duped openly.
We have a great producer in Canada, and he's been sending me clips from CBC. He's actually putting them on the No Agenda News Network, which is pretty cool.
Yeah, you guys get some good clicks.
Yeah, you can download them.
So this is about the civil war in Syria.
Listen to this reporting and where they're getting their information from.
This grand old fantastic news organization there.
Britain's Foreign Secretary William Hague said today that Syria is at a fork in the road as he justified Britain's view that military intervention in the Middle East country is not an option.
The U.S. is saying the same thing, even as NATO countries, including Canada, stepped up attacks on Libya in the last 48 hours.
International leaders have been speaking out and condemning the Syrian government's brutal crackdown against its civilian protesters, but that's where it stops.
Since the first of this month, Syrians have been in the streets demanding change in the dictatorial rule of the Assad family.
The regime of President Bashar al-Assad has responded with live ammunition and tanks.
Estimates today put the death toll at 453, with reports of unburied bodies lying in the streets of Dara, where the protests and the government's brutal response to them have been most pronounced.
Now notice this is estimates, reports of...
So nothing is fact.
Nothing is fact.
It's just all stuff.
So we need to bring an expert on.
Who should we bring on, John?
If you want an expert to talk about this.
I'd probably want to bring somebody in from the intelligence community.
No, I would bring in a blogger.
I think that would be much better.
It's hard to verify the numbers.
We are told hundreds of people have been arrested.
Foreign media have been barred from the country, and reporting from inside Syria has always been problematic.
Many Syrians, fearing for their safety, are now reluctant to leave their homes.
But social media has helped Syrians tell the world what is happening inside places such as Dara.
Suzanne Kwamala is a Syrian living in Valparaisa, Indiana.
Her family is in Damascus and Dara, and she has been gathering information and sending it out via Twitter and Facebook and translating videos on YouTube.
So this is exactly what I would do as a fine upstanding news organization.
I'd report all this horrific thing, say we have no actual facts, no sources, but we've got this chick in Indiana who is watching YouTube for us.
Unbelievable.
It just boggles my mind.
It's mind-boggling!
It is!
Ow!
Ow.
Sorry.
It's totally mind-boggling.
Yeah, I'm passing it on from Twitter.
Ever hear of the techno-experts, darling?
The techno-experts that Hillary Clinton employs?
And then on the media, just as we do a round of assassination here, this is so funny.
So, you know, just to prove my point, the Twitter, you know, hey, Andy Carvin.
Hello, Andy, at NACarvin.
Pay attention to this, dude.
Earlier this year, 500 or so Twitterers received tweets from someone with the handle at JamesMTitus, who posed one of several generic questions.
How long do you want to live to, for example, or do you have any pets?
At James M. Titus was cheerful and enthusiastic, kind of like those people who comment on the weather and then laugh heartily.
Perhaps because of that good nature, or perhaps because of his inquiring spirit and interest in others, At James M. Titus was able to strike up a fair number of continuing conversations.
Only thing is, there is no James M. Titus.
He, or it, is a bot, a software program designed to engage actual humans in social networks.
He grew out of a contest.
Okay, so this is a bot, right?
Which I think a lot of these things are.
And if they're not bots, then they're systems that are controlled by one person who controls multiple personalities.
Yeah, that's the best way to do it.
Where do you think this bot was created, John?
Probably Washington, D.C. someplace.
No, no, no, no, no.
To advise a social bot, a contest staged by a group of techies calling themselves the Web Ecology Project.
Tim Huang is the director of the Web Ecology Project.
He joins us from Berkeley, California.
God!
I said Berkeley.
You did?
I didn't hear you say that.
Of course.
It's Spook Central.
It's Berkeley, it's Pennsylvania, and it's Arlington.
This is where it's all coming from.
People with new listeners of this show, we've determined, based on the Ling Ling thing, the woman that was captured outside of Iran, that Berkeley has become some sort of a training ground, especially the School of Journalism, for various CIA operatives.
So I was listening to the Dvorak Horowitz Unplugged Show, which was a good episode this past week, because you guys kind of had like a no agenda, laugh it off vibe, even though the world is crumbling.
It was kind of cool.
Because, you know, the dollar, of course, is about to drop off a press.
It's now almost at its lowest point ever.
It's just about to fold up into a little paper wad.
Oil is out of control once again.
And the president is like, oh, we're going to get away.
I didn't even want to clip it.
His address this week was, you know, while you're paying four to five bucks a gallon at the pump, you know, we're going to hammer those guys and take away their four billion dollars in tax breaks.
Is that supposed to make me feel good?
Really?
Yeah, it's just going to make the pump price go higher and just pass along the...
So stupid.
It's like, yeah, just want to stick it up there further, please.
Ah, making me crazy.
What was I going to say?
I don't know.
You were talking about Berkeley and this phony bot.
Oh, I know what I was going to say.
So I was going to ask you a question, kind of an Ask John segment.
So we have this...
This debt ceiling issue coming up, which of course we pegged almost a month ago as the real conversation, because little Timmy Geithner was out there going, It's unthinkable that they wouldn't raise the debt ceiling.
Douche.
And do you think that it's actually possible that now is the time, that now they're really going to pull the rug and we're not going to raise the debt ceiling and then standards and poor will come out and we'll reduce our rating and then everything will fall apart?
I mean, I know it could happen, but do you think this is the moment?
Or are they going to pull a rabbit out of the hat at the last minute?
What is your view, John?
I would say the rabbit out of the hat is going to be like...
These guys are very skittish.
And they talk a big game about, oh, we're not going to let them raise the debt ceiling.
I promise my constituency and all the rest of it.
And then at the end of the day, the debt ceiling is going to get raised.
And there's going to be a few people who really...
Here's what you do.
You take a look at all your congressmen.
And you see that a bunch of them were elected only because of this one issue.
And they have to vote no.
But it's just a few of them, right?
It's not enough.
Yeah, there's just going to be a few of them.
So they're going to have to stay on that side of the ledger.
Then there's going to be the guys that are the swing voters, and they say they promised that they weren't going to vote for it either, but they've got the excuse.
They'll have some bogus excuse that they can do it, because it was for the good of the country.
And so they'll be able to vote yes, and the whole thing will get passed barely.
But it'll lead up to a lot of chit-chat, and I think it's going to be a distraction of the week as we get closer.
Well, it's already kind of starting.
Paul O'Neill, former Treasury Secretary, was on Bloomberg.
Bloomberg, by the way, is getting pretty interesting to watch because it's such a low-fi channel.
And it really is because the screen is like a third of the size.
Oh, yeah, it's like a cheap production.
Yeah, it's totally low-fi.
And then people open up and they say the weirdest things on it.
Listen to what former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill said about anyone who opposes to raising the debt limit.
On that point there of how engaged Treasury Secretary Geithner is in this whole process, you've said publicly that when you were in his shoes, when it came to expectations as to the debt ceiling, you would not allow for there to be any kind of question as to whether or not it would have been heightened.
How do you rate Geithner and his handling of this issue?
Well, you know, I think each secretary needs to be judged in his own context.
You know, I believe that...
By the way, did they hit this guy in the mouth that he's lispy?
I don't know, is he Sylvester the cat?
Are you sure they got the right guy?
I think we got the right guy.
He could be an imposter, I don't know.
...ministrations now for the last 30 years have made a mistake in this sense.
There is now a set of practices that are employed that are effectively...
Accounting, engineering to extend reaching the debt ceiling.
So Tim Geithner has said we're going to reach the debt ceiling on May the 18th, and he hopes that the Congress will act by July.
You know, how do we get from May to July?
By doing financial accounting tricks.
I think it...
You know, it helps the Congress to avoid being responsible.
I think that's a really bad idea.
It's a poor political judgment.
Absolutely.
I wish Tim Geithner would say, when we reach the death ceiling, we reach the death ceiling, we're not going to do tricks down here at our end of Pennsylvania Avenue.
The Congress needs to be responsible and adult and take action on the death ceiling.
And, you know, I think the people who are threatening not to pass the death ceiling are our version of al-Qaeda terrorists.
You're an Al-Qaeda terrorist!
We're an Al-Qaeda!
You don't want to kill them on your class and listen, you're an Al-Qaeda terrorist!
You're going to get somebody in the chat and say, oh, Paul, was it Paul O'Neill, whatever his name is?
Oh, you know, he just had a stroke.
Oh, you're so mean.
Did he have a stroke?
Please.
Not that I'm thinking it's funny.
No, it's not funny at all, but the way he talks is pretty funny.
Well, talk about funny talking.
Play the salsa lady.
Oh, in a John C. Devorak special clip.
Avocado is ripe.
Avocado is ripe.
Then you turn a salad that could have just been a salsa with chips into a whole hearty appetizer.
So when you scoop in the tortilla chips, you can choose how much cheese and how much avocado to get.
So what you may have thought that was a not so really attractive fruit turned out to be an incredibly delicious ingredient to make a hearty appetizer that's wholesome and delicious and it will keep you entertained for hours.
Well, until you finish it.
Nice.
Thank you for that interlude, John.
I thought it was like an entremant.
It's like one of these little things.
Throw it in.
It's in between all of our other clips.
And it's a woman.
This is called Patty's Mexican Table.
One of the worst cooking shows on the air.
On PBS, by the way.
And I can't understand a word she's saying half the time.
It's like, why can't we, can you find someone who can cook Mexican that can actually speak English or just to have her do it in Spanish?
Thank you, Tired Anglo, for saying it.
I can't believe someone could be so cruel.
But I would like to watch a show that I can actually understand the person.
Is it asking too much?
Really?
Seriously, is it asking too much?
No.
Hey, I have a theory for you, and this will be one that...
Are you doing Twit today?
Isn't it time that you're on that show again?
No, no, no.
Are you Bane?
Are you being kicked off?
Well, I think they're going their own direction and...
So, anyway, of course the Sony password theft...
I think that, well, regardless of whether it was false flag or not, this is clearly going to be used to shepherd in this secure ID thing.
Already the European Union is calling meetings.
Oh, yeah.
Good one.
Yep.
I mean, it's just starting now, but you watch.
It's going to be, oh, we can't have this happen.
This is horrible.
We need it for cybersecurity.
It's terrorism.
All kinds of stuff like that.
And it's going to be used to essentially regulate us all the way down into submission.
Yeah.
I think you're right.
I've got a clip here where Napolitano wants to regulate the internet, which is, I think, part of this, too.
They put cyberspace under its security wing.
For the military side of the universe, the so-called dot mill, that the Department of Defense would have the lead.
But for the civilian side of the government and for the intersection with the private sector, that the Department of Homeland Security would have the lead.
Napolitano's talk also focused on recruiting as graduates with technical and policy backgrounds are in demand by the government.
Does she just have a stroke or something?
I don't know what's her problem with that.
She's so haughty and arrogant.
Yeah, she's recruiting.
Well, she's the head of the secret police.
I mean, you would be too.
I'm surprised she shows up anyway.
I bet you she dresses up at night in like leathers with a whip and stuff.
No, she's actually a guy.
High boots.
No, no, no, she's not.
High boots with a cap.
Well, I mean, it harkens back to J. Edgar Hoover.
Whipping some guy who's wearing a diaper.
You know what I mean?
Don't you just have that vision?
It feels so obvious.
We have to think about this and figure out who the guy is, because he's got some famous politician.
Who's the guy?
Who's the guy in the diaper?
Who's the guy in the diaper?
The guy in the diaper on the next No Agenda show!
I have one clip which I think, I've been debating whether this should be an end of show clip, but I'd rather play it and discuss it with you.
It's three minutes.
Okay.
We can play the David Brooks self-esteem clip at the end of the show, which is actually pretty interesting.
I'll actually line that up for you.
Is it a long one?
It's not real long.
It's about two and a half minutes, but it's long enough.
Okay, so this is from an article written by Jean-Paul Pugal, who is French.
It's narrated by a guy named T. West.
And this is an article that he wrote.
Of course, I'm glad that it's been translated into English and narrated for our convenience, because my French is not good enough.
Thanks for the accent.
And it's about...
It's a multi-parter YouTube clip.
For some reason I couldn't release it as an MP3. And I've linked to it in the show notes.
So you might want to listen to the whole thing.
Because it's very interesting.
It gets all the way into Nelson Mandela.
And it's really about Africa and North Africa.
But in particular, two things that will be highlighted here.
This is about the real reason for the attack on Libya.
And it also mentions which country is next.
And when I heard this, it made so much sense.
And you want to just take a quick guess?
I mean, after Syria, obviously.
Syria is next.
What's after Syria?
Any idea?
I think Yemen's going to fall.
No, no, no.
But you're thinking of, this is probably leading toward an African country.
Yeah, oh no, of course it is.
But it's North African.
It's so obvious.
Morocco or Algeria?
Yeah, so obvious.
So, I clipped this down because it's much longer, but he starts off by saying, really, a lot of these problems started when Gaddafi put up $300 million of a $500 million fund, which was put together by the African Union, which is not part of what the douchebags want to set up and what the European Union is funding, and it was for a telecom satellite.
So apparently in Africa, but certainly in North Africa, prior to this satellite which launched a couple years ago, the African Union had to pay in total $500 million a year, $400 or $500 million a year in fees to make phone calls via this satellite.
And so Gaddafi was one of the guys who said, this is ridiculous.
You know, the most expensive phone rates were calling anywhere from, even if you were in the same country, if you were calling just to a different area code from like, you know, Tripoli to Misrata, it would cost like 10 bucks a minute because you were going through this very expensive satellite.
So Gaddafi was the guy who led the charge.
To put their own satellite in space.
And they were actually, with the Chinese and the Russians, building a new, really high-tech, way-advanced satellite that was going to launch in a couple of years.
So that's the setup, which I just told you here to skip the 20 minutes the guy takes explaining it.
But now listen to what he says is the real reason for this attack on Libya.
The Northeast Libya cost the West not just depriving it of $500 million per year, but the billions of dollars in debt and interest that the initial loan would generate for years to come and in an exponential manner, thereby helping maintain an occult system in order to plunder the African continent.
The United States, 30 billion dollars, frozen by Mr.
Obama belonged to the Libyan Central Bank and had been earmarked as the Libyan contribution to three key projects, which would add the finishing touches to the African Federation, the African Investment Bank in Serti, Libya, and the establishment the African Investment Bank in Serti, Libya, and the establishment in 2011 of the African Monetary Fund to be based in Yaoundé with a $42 billion
capital fund and the Abuja base African Central and the establishment in 2011 of the African Monetary Fund to be based in Yaoundé with a $42 billion capital fund and the Abuja base African Central Bank in Nigeria, which when it starts printing African money, will
It is easy then to understand the French wrath against Gaddafi.
Now, as a commentary note, this is why the French are supporting and backing their boy, Alassane Otero.
That's the guy in the Ivory Coast, which happened at the same time as Libya, you'll recall.
And this is why they oppose Lorient Bagbo.
Lorient Bagbo and Gaddafi were working together towards the interests of the African people, towards the interests of the African continent.
Alassane Otero is an enemy of black people all around the The African Monetary Fund is expected to totally supplant the African activities of the International Monetary Fund,
which with only $25 billion, was able to bring an entire continent to its knees And make it swallow questionable privatization like forcing African countries to move from public to private monopolies.
No surprise then that on the 16th and 17th of December of 2010 the Africans unanimously rejected attempts by Western countries to join the African Monetary Fund saying it was only open to African nations.
It is increasingly obvious So I really like, it's weird audio obviously, but I really like what this guy is saying because it makes a lot of sense and put a lot of dots together for me.
Well, we'll see.
Well, the whole idea that...
Because Algeria hasn't even been on the radar at the moment.
Well, we've got some celebrities left over.
Who can we put up there?
We've got plenty.
I think they just met with Obama.
Who can we put up in Algeria?
We need a celebrity for Algeria.
Algeria is a good one because Algeria is a pretty cool place.
I haven't been there, but everyone who goes there says it's really a nice place.
And it's huge.
It's huge.
And a lot of tourists like going there.
Which, by the way...
We can start killing tourists and there'll be another humanitarian problem.
Talking about tourism, if you're done with this topic.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I just want to say, so let's just write down Algeria.
I got it.
I wrote it down.
And I think the whole idea that the French...
You think it's going to be before Yemen?
Yes.
I think Yemen's going to fall apart before that happens.
I don't think there's a choice with Yemen.
I think Yemen's out of control.
By the way, when I hear this guy, I miss our Mac Daddy man.
Yeah, I'm going to just go track him down.
We've got to see what's going on with him.
So I guess in May, the, what's it called?
Brood 19 is popping.
What's that?
Brood 19 is the giant, I think it's every 13 years, these cicadas come out of the ground and start eating everything.
And this is the big one.
This is the Brood 19, it's called.
And I have actually, I was, last time it hit, it was in 1998.
I remember this because we still had the house in New Jersey.
And we had a huge cicada problem.
Does everyone know what a cicada is?
I don't think everyone understands.
Only people from Chicago East know what these things are.
They don't really exist in the West.
And a cicada is like a giant grasshopper, also referred to as a locust, although there's different kinds of these animals.
But they just essentially...
Make a lot of noise.
They pop out 85 decibels.
Yeah, it's unbelievable.
They pop out of the ground once every decade.
It depends on the group.
There's 12-year ones, but these are 13 years in cycle.
They pop out by the billions, eat everything in sight, everything.
Yeah.
And then they lay a bunch of eggs and die, and then they stink up the place because there's billions of dead bugs rotting everywhere.
And they leave these shells, these big shells you crunch under your feet.
So, it's disgusting.
They crunch when you eat them.
So, they're happening in May.
And I was reading about this, and this is the big group.
And I was actually, when I was a little kid, we had an outbreak of these things in Chicago.
You could hear just a buzzing sound everywhere I went.
But when I was in Atlanta, where there's things in the south, it's where it's really a problem right now.
It was so noisy that you could barely get to sleep at night.
It was just...
It was like 85 decibels.
One bug can do that, and you just have a million of them.
Billions.
And so, this is all happening in the South now?
Well, it's mostly in the South.
And the fact is, is that I don't understand why they can't...
Because it's a disaster for the crops or trees or stripped.
Can we get some kind of a...
Can't those guys, like, genetically modify them or something and make it into food for us?
They've got other things to do with their time.
Genetically, I just don't modify these bugs, whatever you do.
But anyway, I think they should turn this into a tourist attraction.
You would.
Don't you think?
Yeah.
Hey, go down south and catch a tornado while you're at it.
I'm telling you.
How coincidental is it, by the way, that on the day of the Great American Shakeout, did you see the video of that thing, of that tornado?
By the way, Rhino the Bearded is down there and, like, he knows people who got killed.
I mean, it's like his community has been decimated because of this.
This is crazy.
I saw that video.
I'm like, wow.
And you know, now they're talking about, I guess...
Yeah, but that was one, at one point, a hundred of those things were on the ground at the same time.
I mean, if I, you know, I'm looking at that, I'm going like, maybe they were trying to get the earthquakes going for the drill, and then they messed it up and turned it into these things.
I mean, I've never seen anything like it.
They happened in 1974, too.
Before our show.
There you go.
I have never seen anything like it.
And now they want to blow up the levee to flood millions of acres, which, of course, is like 8 million pounds of water.
Do you think that would set off some earthquakes?
I mean, this is bad, bad news.
They're going to flood everything.
Maybe they're going to flood the cicadas.
This is horrible.
And of course, where's our celebrity telethon now?
Oh yeah, there's no...
I know these people are...
And by the way, here's a classic.
Again, another link that came in from Mimi.
Which is apparently FEMA's not doing anything because now they're claiming...
This is out of Napolitano's office.
They say, well, you know, nobody's asked us to help.
Oh, jeez.
You can look into this.
It's like FEMA is like, again...
Douchebags!
Only they're not there botching it.
Like with the Hurricane Katrina, they were down there screwing things up.
Now they're not even bothering.
They're just, you know, let people fend for themselves because they're not being...
Instead, we have to make sure that we're feeling up little children at, you know, the checkpoints.
They have to get ready for my reality show.
We've got absolutely no time to go down and say, help people.
Horrible.
This will be brushed under the...
I mean, this is a mess.
I mean, they showed pictures.
It's just complete cities gone.
Just a bunch of rubble.
And the president goes down.
Hello, everybody!
Unbelievable.
Well, he called the state of emergency.
I guess that's good.
But then it's still...
Where's everyone helping out?
I don't know.
Where's Clooney?
Where's Clinton?
Right.
At least he could be drawing attention to the thing while scoring the money.
So amazing.
For some reason, the Wall Street Journal drops off the Saturday and Sunday paper edition.
They're trying to get me to buy it.
And it includes the Wall Street Journal magazine.
It made me throw up in my mouth.
So they have these beautiful...
It's like a real luxury magazine with stuff you can never afford.
Like a $20,000 toilet that heats your butt and rings and mansions.
Just a bunch of decadent bull crap.
Incredible decadent bull crap.
It's like, you're knocking at the wrong door, buddy.
I'm not going to subscribe.
And they have this whole pictorial of all the beautiful architecture, the gingerbread houses that are being restored, and the Iron Gate Market in Haiti.
It's unbelievable.
This is the thing that Clinton did, this whole restoration of the Iron Gate market.
Yeah, it looks great, as long as you don't turn 180 degrees and look at the dead people pooping cholera in tents.
Unbelievable.
Iron Gate market.
So a couple of magic numbers for you, John, as we start to wind up the show here.
33 insurgents killed in northwest Pakistan.
U.S. gasoline futures end at highest in 33 months.
There's a...
I'd say that would be a notice for you right there.
Yeah, definitely.
That's a little message.
Smartphone users, 33% would give up chocolate before giving up their smartphone.
Playtech poker revenue down 33%.
Stock markets rally to 33-month high.
And dollar hits 33-month low.
I mean, please.
Could they throw it in my face any harder?
Yeah.
Give them a toot.
Unbelievable.
So, of course, all of these stories discussed in today's program are available in the show notes at NoAgendaShow.com.
You can also reach it through SeanHannity.com.
Or, what's one of our favorites, John?
What's one of our better forwards?
I think we have PunchEmInTheMouth.com, maybe?
HitEmInTheMouth.com.
Well, we had some good ones today as well.
We've got a lot of them.
Yeah.
People are doing a great job.
Thank you everybody for supporting our show, keeping everything going.
Of course, we've got the long...
The long in between show space now, so we'll have tons of stuff to talk about on Thursday, I'm quite confident.
And end of show clip, what is it, John?
The David Brooks on self-esteem?
Yeah, this is David Brooks referring to the fact that he never blames anybody because he's got, like I said, this new book coming out.
But the underlying message here is that the self-esteem movement, which began, I don't know, in the 70s or 80s, has basically ruined the country, made everybody a bunch of egomaniacs.
And it's just the way he relates it.
I thought it was a very good message.
Okay.
Coming to you from Gitmo Nation West, the People's Republic of Southern California, for the 300th episode, I am Adam Curry.
And I want to thank everybody who helped us out on this 300th episode.
And by the way, it's May Day.
I'm John C. Dvorak.
We'll talk again on Thursday right here on No Agenda.
And I happened to hear a show called Command Performance, which was a rebroadcast of an old radio show.
And the episode I heard was aired on VJ Day, the day we won World War II. And Bing Crosby was the host of the show, and all the big stars were on it, Bob Hope and Marlene Dietrich.
He got out there and he said, we've just learned we won World War II, but I guess we're not proud, we just feel humble, we're just glad we got through it.
And Burgess Meredith got out there and read a passage from Ernie Pyle, the great war correspondent, And Pyle wrote, we won this war because we have brave soldiers, we have great allies, we happen to have a lot of material abundance in this country.
We didn't win it because we're God's chosen people.
We didn't win it because we're anything special.
We should just be glad and be worthy of the peace.
And that tone of humility was so striking to me on the day they won World War II. Then I get home and I... Turn on TV, I'm watching football, and a cornerback tackles a wide receiver after a two-yard gain and does this victory dance to himself for his great achievement.
And it occurred to me I had just seen greater self-puffery after a two-yard gain than winning World War II. And I do think this is a change from a culture of self-effacement, nobody's better than me, I'm no better than anybody else, to a culture of self-celebration.
Look at me, I'm pretty damn good.
And the polling data I use to support this, my favorite one, is that Gallup asked high school seniors in 1950, are you a very important person?
And 12% said yes.
In 2005, they asked again, are you a very important person?
And it wasn't 12%, it was 80%.
And so that's just the change.
And if you look at our math scores, we're 36th in the world in math performance, but we're number one in the world in thinking we're really good at math.
And so that's a change.
And this expansion of the self, I think, has led to partisanship because I know the answers to everything and everybody else who disagrees with me is just in the way.
I think it's led to the expansion of debt because why should I say for future generations, I'm here.
I feel less connected to the broad change.
And I think if you look at the societies that have done really well in math, they're the ones who have least confidence in their own abilities.
And so I think the lesson from the research is that you should have a slightly above average view of yourself.
You should exaggerate your virtues a little.
To make sure you go out and dare and try difficult things that are hard for you.
But we've sort of taken it a bit to the extreme.
And one of the phrases that I think is the core of my political philosophy is the phrase epistemological modesty.