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April 21, 2011 - No Agenda
02:21:28
297: Obama's Clutch Car
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Time Text
This show is terrible.
These people should be ashamed of themselves.
Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
It's Thursday, April 21st, 2011.
Time for your Gitmo Nation Media Assassination Episode 297.
This is no agenda.
Suffering from the Skynet attacks in the Hilltop Watchtower Crackpot Command Center, Gitmo Nation West, in the People's Republic of Southern California.
In the morning, I'm Adam Curry.
And from Northern Silicon Valley, we're trying to get the show underway.
I'm John C. Dvorak.
It's Crack Vaughn and Buzzkill.
In the morning.
Yeah, I'm sick.
You're sick of what?
No, I'm sick.
I'm ill.
Why?
Well, why?
Because I didn't take my vaccine shots, apparently.
You had the flu?
Yeah.
You know it's the flu?
Yeah.
Did you get some of those, you don't even take the antivirals?
I mean, that's what I do.
No, I mean, it's not like, I'm not dying yet, but it's...
I'll pop a bunch of...
Benny's.
You're popping Benny's over there.
Tamiflu or Relenza?
Yeah, but it's, I don't know if it's swine flu yet.
What difference does it make?
It's all the same.
Swine flu.
Are you going...
I got the headache.
I got the fever.
I got the chills.
You're the hoochie-coochie, man.
Yeah, I got the sore throat.
I got the drippy nose.
And Mickey has the same.
Sounds like a cold if you got a sore throat.
No, it's...
You could have mononucleosis.
Yay!
Yay!
According to the Terminator 2 movie, Skynet went into effect on April 19th, 2011, and people started dying from it on April 21st.
Coincidence?
I think not!
I'm just saying.
Hey, in the morning to all the human resources there in the chat room, but noagendastream.com, noagendachat.net, and all boots on the ground and ships at sea.
And feet in the air.
Yeah.
I confused you.
I can tell.
Well, John.
Can I say something up front so we can get this?
Because people, you know, last couple of shows we've gotten weird openings and I don't know if people want to put up with it.
But let me just say something.
I want to be early on this one.
Because you're going to hear the pundits saying it probably within the next few months.
I think Obama, by starting this campaign so early, And essentially quitting his job to run again?
Yeah, it's a big mistake.
I think it's a big mistake and I think he's going to talk himself out.
Well, yeah.
Wasn't that the whole point?
He's going to be so tired.
He's going to be overanalyzed.
Everything he said.
I mean, what do we got here for today's show?
I mean, he was over at Facebook yakking away.
I totally ignored all of that, if you don't mind.
I have the clips.
Okay.
What?
Of the Facebook video stream?
I wasn't there.
They showed it.
They had the whole Facebook event on C-SPAN. Oh, okay.
I was just ill.
I was focusing on other things.
They have a big sign in the back, Facebook.
And did you notice this?
This is the thing that got me the most.
Besides the fact this is a big promotion for Facebook.
No kidding.
Story after story after story said, this is the first presidential visit of Facebook.
This is the first time a president has ever visited Facebook.
Yeah.
There was no Facebook in the previous presidency.
Yeah, it's the first time.
Some ER people have decided to create a meme that the president should visit Facebook for publicity purposes.
This is a pretty cool scheme.
But why is the media buying into it, not questioning the first visit?
Well, John, do I really have to answer that by now?
No, it's a rhetorical question.
The media's a bunch of jerk-offs, and why would they notice?
So hit me with some clips here from this wonderful thing.
For those of you who missed this first-time-ever worldwide event and just need to keep up with everybody, and at least you can have a sound bite in the back of your head to say, yeah, yeah, I saw it.
Yeah, I saw it.
What do you got?
What do you got, John?
What do you got?
Let me...
You have your clips numbered today.
Well, here's the...
Let me just give you a little...
This is new.
Well, I've decided...
What happened?
I've decided a couple of things.
One is that I had a lot of clips and I've decided that the problem...
I've noticed the show goes like this.
Yeah, well, I've got this clip of Jenna Kowski doing it and they say...
And they hit it, you know, and you're like looking through the clips.
What is it?
This one?
Is it that one?
That happens sometimes.
Usually, I mean, you're discounting how nicely it flows eight of the ten times.
I'd say 90% of the time it flows, but that 10% is worth numbering.
Yeah, okay.
Well, it's worth numbering when I have this many clips.
Yeah, you kind of overcompensated.
So now, well, I'm going to number them probably from now on.
I think it's the way to do it.
And I've also noticed the Limbaugh.
Hey, play clip 22.
Oh, that's it.
Alright, so this is where you're going to start barking numbers at me now?
Alright.
Alright, what number do I queue up for you, John?
20?
Okay, let me play the one clip that I think is amusing for a number of reasons, which is the Obama, the clip 10, which is Obama...
I really hate that.
I really don't want you to do that.
Do not say clip 10.
No, it's annoying.
Already I hate it.
If you can just say Obama, I can figure it out.
I'm not an idiot.
Okay.
I'm not Rush Limbaugh's board monkey.
Now, Obama...
And the clutch car.
And if you start seeing investors feel uncertain about the future, then they could pull back right at the time when the economy is taking off.
So you're right that it's tricky.
Folks around here are used to the hills in San Francisco.
I don't know if they still have clutch cars around here.
Anybody ever driven a clutch car?
I mean, you've got to sort of tap.
Well, that's sort of what we've faced in terms of the economy.
We've got to hit the accelerator, but we've got to also make sure that we don't gun it.
We can't let the car slip backwards.
He made this one up himself because he sucks at explaining this fantastic analogy.
Hey, have you ever heard anyone use the word clutch car?
No.
It's a stick shift.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Or a standard, as we used to call it.
Standard would be a good way, but a stick shift.
But clutch car, and then he asks, do they still exist?
What is this guy?
How isolated from the world is he?
Yeah.
That's what he asked.
He said, do they still have these things?
You could hear the room go, clutch car?
Is that like a golf cart?
What is that?
Maybe that's what it is for him.
Well, you know where they use the word clutch car?
No.
Africa.
Oh, you're kidding me.
No, I'm just...
I am kidding you.
It's a joke.
I thought it would be true.
I was like, that makes total sense.
Africa.
You know, because of the birth certificate thing, it was a gag.
Yeah, you're in a great mood.
I'm sick.
You're irked about the numbers.
You're sick.
You're sick.
Alright.
Anyway.
Maybe I just misunderstood the joke.
No, the joke was that he was born in Africa, so he would use an African term to refer to these cars.
Right, but then you said it's not true.
It's not.
I don't know if it's true or not.
That's the joke.
It was a joke.
It wasn't meant to me.
Well, I'm totally believing it.
I'm like, clutch car, that sounds like something they'd say in Africa.
Maybe they should have stuck with it then.
That sounds like something they'd say in Africa, clutch car.
I'm like, believe it.
I've got the clutch car, do you drive it?
No, they don't talk like that in Africa.
I can't do an African voice.
Oh boy, we're off to a rocky start, people.
Hey, you've got to carry it for me here.
Okay, so anyway, this meeting totally sucks.
And of course, Zuckerberg is doing the meeting.
Did he do like the Q&A or what was it?
Really?
So he's doing the Q&A and he's now referred to as Mark by the President.
So now he's going to lord it over everybody.
I'm on a first name basis with Obama.
It's the first time a U.S. President has called a Facebook CEO by his first name.
He also has a shit-eating grin on his face the whole time.
Zuckerberg?
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, he's loving this, man.
I mean, let's be honest.
It's pretty cool for him.
I get it.
You know, he just came out with a statement, you know, maybe there's too much freedom of speech on Facebook.
We should kind of rein that in a little bit.
You know, Barack comes over.
Hey, Barack.
Hey, Mark.
Hey, how you doing everybody?
Hey Mark, maybe you should start rating that in a little bit, that free speech there on the Facebooks.
You read that.
I saw you tweet it actually.
Yep.
So Obama makes, like I said, he's going to talk himself out.
And he made two weird comments about healthcare, because he was bragging about that being so great, even though it's gone completely off the track.
And play the one, this clip, Obama on medicine, idiotic comment.
A large chunk of our provider system is not automated.
So what ends up happening is you may go to your primary care physician.
He does some basic tests.
He sees something of concern.
He has to say something.
He refers you to a specialist.
You go to the specialist.
He'll do another test.
You're getting charged, or your insurance company is getting charged, for both those tests, as opposed to the test that was taken By your primary care physician being emailed to the specialist.
What?
Or, better yet, if it turns out that there may be three or four specialists involved because it's a difficult diagnosis.
This is all hypothetical.
You look very healthy.
But let's say there were a bunch of specialists.
What would be ideal would be if you get all the specialists involved.
Together with a primary care physician, the first time you're seen so that you're not paying for multiple visits as well as multiple tests.
Was there a smoke coming out of his ears when he was trying to explain this?
Did you hear this last thing he just said?
Yeah.
So you're going to go, wait a minute, you're going to have four guys in the room somehow if you can get an appointment.
I can't see my dermatologist.
It's a three month waiting time.
Let alone some specialist for whatever he's talking about.
So you're going to get four people in the room, but you're only going to pay for one visit?
Is that what he's saying?
Now, one, assuming you could get the four people to be at the same meeting, and he says it's your first meeting, by the way, so you're going to have to kind of...
It's the team kickoff.
So you have to predict what you have to have the specialist.
And of course you don't get a specialist until the doctor recommends one.
So this is an impossible situation to begin with.
Has this guy ever been to the doctor?
No, the doctor comes to him.
Play that last part again and tell me if it makes any bit of sense whatsoever.
I'd already dumped it.
Hold on.
Really?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah, you're taking me for granted.
I'm not taking you for granted.
Hold on.
I'll play the last thing.
This is all hypothetical.
You look very healthy.
But let's say there were a bunch of specialists.
What would be ideal would be if you get all the specialists together with the primary care physician the first time you're seen so that you're not paying for multiple visits as well as multiple tests.
So you gotta take your clutch car.
So how does this work?
Take your clutch car over to the doctors.
And tell me you wanted to round up everybody in the neighborhood.
Your team is ready for you.
We're all waiting here.
What a crock of crap.
I mean, who is he kid?
Okay, so he goes, this never ends, these crazy ideas.
Does this guy even, has this guy ever been in the real world?
Play the second clip.
So what we want to do is to start changing how folks are reimbursed.
Let's take a hospital.
This is sort of like Race to the Top, what Mark was talking about in education.
We want to be able to say to a hospital, if you do a really good job reducing infection rates in hospital, which kill tens of thousands of people across America every year, and are a huge cause for readmission rates, and We know that hospitals can drastically reduce those reinfection rates just by simple protocols of how employees are washing their hands and how they're moving from room to room and so forth.
There are hospitals who've done it.
If we can say to a hospital, you'll get a bonus for that.
Medicare will reimburse you for instituting these simple procedures.
That saves the whole system money.
That's great.
They're going to pay people to wash their hands?
Yeah, that's great.
And of course, knowing the way the world works...
They're going to say, you know, if you institute these procedures, we're going to give you extra money.
What do you think is going to happen?
They're going to fill out some forms and say, yeah, we can.
I wash my hands.
I wash my hands.
Give me some money.
Here, Mommy, look.
Mommy, look.
Look, look.
Don't you look clean?
Sniff my finger, Mommy.
And meanwhile, while no one was looking, the true killer in our society was reported on, John.
Can you guess what kills more people than guns in America?
Smoking.
The descriptions are alarming.
Prescription drug abuse is an epidemic in this country.
And they're warranted, said the nation's drugs are today.
The number of people who have overdosed on prescription drugs now exceeds the number of people who have died as a result of gunshot wounds.
Yay!
Let's get rid of prescription drugs then.
What is the point of this?
Well, it's...
I believe it's...
Well, it's all about OxyContin.
So it's...
I think the idea here is we've got too much of the legal stuff out there.
Get back on the H, kids.
Get back on the heroin.
Because we've got a whole shipment coming in from Afghanistan.
That's the only thing I could think of.
There's a couple...
I had a couple of...
I had a clip that I would like somebody to deconstruct for me.
I can't figure out why this clip is floating around.
The Illegal Workers Advertising.
I'm watching this.
There's a Santa Barbara station playing this, and so there's probably some illegals in the area, I'm sure.
But this advertisement is from some operation I've never heard of, and I haven't really gotten started to look into it.
I just picked this up last night.
But it's like the weirdest ad I've ever seen.
It's an ad against legal immigration.
Now that so many Californians are out of work, attention is turning to the millions of illegal workers in the state.
It's about time.
But what about these workers?
Legal foreign workers.
One million legal immigrants and temporary workers our government admits every year.
They take good jobs in places like California.
No matter how many Californians are out of work or how ill the economy gets, we need to slow legal immigration until California is working again.
Paid for by Californians for population stabilization.
Ooh, I like that.
Why don't we just come out and say, kill them.
Population stabilization.
Wow, that's harsh.
That's what I thought.
I've only seen this thing once.
I'm from the Population Stabilization Bureau, ma'am.
Excuse me, do you have any Mexicans in here, any Puerto Ricans, any kind of cans, ma'am?
Let me just see.
I'm sorry, we'll have to take this one with us.
This one is legal.
We've got to shoot this one.
This one's too small, we've got to throw it back.
It doesn't make any difference.
It's a legal one.
That's what I said, it's a legal one.
You're illegal, you're both coming with me.
We've got a legal one.
You go in the left cell.
That's pretty unbelievable.
Try to explain something to me, John.
Is the United States of America a corporation?
Not that I know of.
But wait a minute, this is a trick question.
Go ahead.
No, not really.
Why are we treated like a corporation?
Why do we get rated by Standards and Poor's, who are a rating agency, with a rating like Microsoft?
They rate...
Anyone who has debt instruments, they're not raiding the country, they're raiding the instruments.
But these were the guys that said, oh, you know, AIG, AAA. Yeah, no, I know, they were wrong, and everybody knows it, and that's one of the arguments against, you know, whatever they do.
But they're...
There's something politically involved with what you're going to talk about, which is the fact that they've threatened to drop our AAA rating.
Right.
For the world's greatest investment.
They've already turned us to outlook negative.
It's like they've got an eight ball there.
Outlook not so good.
So that's not an actual downgrade, but it's like a thing.
I'm thinking, why don't we just do it?
Why don't we just take the whole country public?
Give everybody some stock.
You want to see people turn around and do some stuff?
Why don't we just actually...
Everyone gets a share.
And then we take the whole thing public.
And then we IPO like crazy.
We're all rich.
That would be an IPO. It would have to be like the value of the country, I think, which has been calculated.
I'm sure you can calculate.
Well, it's like $15 trillion or $20 trillion is what we're worth.
Well, you have to look at more.
You have to look at, you know, forward-looking earnings.
We have to look at ROI. Yeah, exactly.
I mean, so we know that each human resource from cradle to grave is valued at $9.1 million.
So the government's already done that for us.
We got 330 of us?
Million?
330 million?
Yeah.
Yeah, so there you go.
We're like...
$33 trillion.
Yeah, we're like $30, $40 trillion.
That's reasonable.
So maybe is that more?
Maybe more.
No, I think it'd be trillion.
But then we'd own it.
We'd own ourselves.
Yeah, then we could boss ourselves around.
And I'd be like, hey, hey, hey.
Get back to work.
Yeah, that would work.
Hey, are you legal?
I have to reduce you.
Well, if you're going to do that, then I could buy your shares.
I could buy you out.
That's right.
You could buy me out.
Then what would you be?
You'd be a person without a country.
No, I'd be a slave.
But at least I know I'd be one.
Yeah, you'd be a slave.
It's just something to think about.
Well, for $9 million, if that's what you're worth, if somebody gave me $9 million to boss me around, I'd probably take it.
Yeah, but you're not worth $9 million anymore.
You're down to like the single digits.
Down to the dregs.
Down to my...
Am I an annuity?
Remember we had this whole conversation where they came out and said the valuation of the human life in the United States is now $9.1 million.
That's what you're worth when you're born.
And in fact, I think we actually are collateral in that way for our T-bills.
It wouldn't surprise me.
Yeah, well then if the country goes, they just start shoving.
Okay, you guys, you're getting in this boat.
You're heading to China.
China owns you now.
Yeah.
Well, you better learn some Chinese, son.
Because you're going.
Before we go on with this, I think we should thank our executive producers.
We're almost at the 300 Club now.
Yeah, I know.
It's going to be next Sunday, right?
Not this Sunday, but the Sunday after this Sunday.
Yes, correct.
So we have a show on Sunday.
Which is Easter Sunday, if I'm not mistaken, which means we'll have nobody listening.
No, Easter Sunday is this coming Sunday.
That's what I mean.
This Sunday, nobody will be listening.
But that won't be...
No, this Sunday will not be episode 300.
No, I never said that.
I said this Sunday is Easter Sunday.
Oh, no one will listen and no one will donate is what you're saying.
Yes.
Yeah, okay, I got you.
We should probably just do it.
I would like executive producer credit on show 297, which is this one.
This is Charlie Hendrick's son in Reelsville, Indiana, just up the street from Naubone.
I'd like to executive credit on 297.
I'd like that number as well as the 300 Club, which is the case.
You'd get an executive producer's credit.
Yep.
Yeah, he gets the credit.
You need some karma for his daughter who just turned a year old, his wife who just had an emergency knee surgery, and his new business ventures.
Oh my goodness, no.
Let me pop some at you right now, my friend, Charlie Henderson.
You've got karma.
He needed some karma, man.
Wow.
I also can't believe that you guys...
I can't believe that you guys have missed one obvious number.
33.
We are such losers.
33.
That was a while back.
This year was the centennial anniversary of the Indianapolis 500 on 529-211.
The traditional 11 rows of 33 cars will take the green flag at the start of the most historic race ever.
If you guys are doing your road trip, I'll get you into our company suite.
Yay!
At the track for practice, qualifying, or the race.
Oh, really?
So, um...
He's got a...
Hmm.
You know, I wouldn't mind...
I'd fly back there for that.
Let me tell you.
All of a sudden, Sir Greg Birch popped up.
And he says, you know, if you have no luck getting an RV, which so far I've had, let me think, pretty much zero luck, except for our marine friend.
But he's right, by the way.
We can't drive this 36-footer.
That's crazy.
It's like a Boeing.
It's not that hard to do.
No, no, no.
He says there's so much you've got to think of.
That's not for the first-timers.
And I think he's right.
So Sir Greg has what he calls the No Agenda Urban Assault RV. It's a GMC Birchhaven.
Have you ever seen these?
No.
Built in the mid to late 70s?
No.
I can just imagine.
It's perfect.
Now, it needs some work.
Hold on a second.
It needs some work.
What's it called?
GMC Birch Haven.
It's like classic.
It has a little shower.
Greg only bought it because it's got his name in it.
Well, no, his grandfather actually built it.
He built it.
Yeah, he built this one and he built the birch patented screen door.
You see it?
It's pretty big.
It's 25 foot.
It's serious, but that's like doable.
And it's cool looking though, isn't it?
Yeah, it's very old-fashioned streamliner type.
Exactly.
Now, there's a couple things wrong with it, so it's like the drivetrain and the brakes and stuff, so we've got to think through this a little bit.
But I have to say, this type of vehicle, I think, is definitely what we should go for.
It's kind of like the love, peace, and happiness bus.
It's still pretty big.
Oh, no, it's very big, but it's perfect, although the berths are six feet in length.
That's a problem.
Yeah, well, any one of these RVs is a problem for two, you know, people that are 6'5".
Careful.
You're 6'1".
Almost 6'2".
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, well, I know, but I like to sleep with my feet hanging off the end of the bed.
Really?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Your big hairy feet hanging off the end of the bed?
Yeah, big old hairy clopped hair hanging off the bed.
It's to scare people when they walk in.
Sorry, visual, visual, bad visual.
Anyway, working on that, still looking for something that actually runs.
I'm sorry, I just cracked up.
I'm going to send you this link.
But he's so sweet.
He's like, you know, I always have this.
I'm worried because his grandfather literally built this one.
That's going to freak me out.
I want something that...
What?
Go to...
I just sent you a link to a photo that you have to put in the show notes.
This is what you're going to end up with.
Hold on.
Let me tell you.
Hold on, it's going to fire up.
I was just looking at pictures of the Birchhavens and I saw this thing.
It's a beautiful machine, man.
What are you talking about?
No, the Birchhaven.
This isn't one.
This is something else.
It was in the images gallery.
I'm sorry.
Firefox needs to talk to Windows.
That's cool.
I'd drive that.
You think that's a Photoshop job or it's real?
I think it's real.
We should send it to our artist so it could be a nice cover art.
Perfect.
Perfect.
Okay.
Anyway, so it's in the making, but it's really going to happen.
And the great thing was, Miss Mickey went, oh, I'll totally ride in that.
That's okay.
No, it's a good-looking, it's a classic.
It's a classic.
Those things are still on the road.
Oh, yeah, no, there's a whole, that would be another stipulation.
There's a club of them.
Yes, I would have to drive by some GMC club day if we, like, I just want to make sure it runs, but it sounds kind of like, you know, there was quite a list of stuff that's not quite right.
Yeah.
But it's beautiful that people are offering that.
And I don't want to sound like ungracious, but I'm still open for other opportunities.
Yes, as it were.
But I mean, going to the Indianapolis 500 race, sweet, would be dynamite.
Oh, you also want to go to noagendatour.com and stick a pin on the map.
We hadn't looked at it in a while, and we brought it up yesterday.
Holy moly.
It's like the map of the United States and there's red pins everywhere.
What has that got to do with it?
What is it?
That's where our listeners recommend to come and visit.
Oh, okay.
You can have a lot of free food.
Yes.
Okay, Daniel Foster in Maynardsville, Tennessee.
First time donation, which is nice.
He needs a dedouching because of that.
Okay.
You've been dedouched.
He's completely addicted to the show.
It happens.
And he's actually in Knoxville, Tennessee, which, by the way, is a beautiful little town.
They've got some of the best barbecue, Carolina-style barbecue pulled pork sandwiches in the world.
Dave Rederer, and also the University of Tennessee, if I'm not mistaken.
Evergreen, Colorado.
Dave Rederer, in the morning to you, just working my way towards knighthood.
One more to go.
Yay!
And we throw in the extra pain.
That concludes our executive producer list for show 297.
So, a reminder that you have two more shows to get in on the 300 Club.
So, if you are a member of the 300 Club, in one of the remaining two episodes, you not only get the executive producer credit for that episode, but also on the 300 Club, which will be quite a list.
Actually, how many do we have?
Like 20 maybe?
I don't know.
Eric would know.
If he's listening.
But it's an exclusive club, that's for sure.
And, well, no one came in for the 297 Club, which is kind of interesting.
But, of course, you can always become a member of the 298 Club.
But I expect everyone might as well just go for the 300 because you get your double credit there.
We highly appreciate it.
A couple of PR mentions that I'd like to skim through.
Some good domain name forwards, which are being forwarded to noagendashow.com.
I think right off the bat, one of my favorites, haikuherman.com.
Which is a good one.
Ooh, that is a good one.
Haiku Harriman, of course.
That's one you want to take and you maybe want to put some poetry up and then...
Some haikus, yeah.
We have an open haiku competition.
Why not?
How was the last time anyone did a haiku competition on broadcast like this?
Well, you know what, John?
Let that be the first time at Facebook and not here on this show.
That's not a good idea.
I don't like haikus.
They don't rhyme.
Duh!
Winning.
I've got a link to the No Agenda art prints, which is really cool.
I don't know if you saw this.
These are real art prints that you can buy, different sizes.
Prices range for $22, $33, or $44.
50% of the proceeds go to the show.
And the first print that I saw is beautiful.
It's Lucifer Clinton with her techno experts.
It's beautiful.
So Lucifer Clinton, she's got her little slavelets there, and those are her techno experts.
So make sure you check that link out in the show notes.
Jen, the art print, where is those?
Yeah, no, it's not on a domain name.
It has to get a domain name.
It's Indiegogo.com?
Yes, that's the one.
That's the one.
Ooh, I like that one with Clinton.
That's cool, huh?
That's a beauty.
Yeah, it's cool.
That's like real art, and it's beautiful.
Are these signed and numbered?
What do we have here?
Yeah, I think so.
By the way, according to Eric the Shield, there are currently 33 members of the 300 Club.
Oh, sure there are.
Sure, Eric.
Not 32, not 34, not more than 30.
No, it's 33.
Coincidence?
I think not!
Do we want to mention CashForCarbon.com?
We had a little email exchange about that.
Yeah, you can mention it.
I don't have it.
Yeah, I thought it was kind of cool.
Hey, Adam and John says, Mark, I own CashForCarbon.com, a site to buy and sell actions or lack of actions for cash.
Basically, ride your bike to work while I drive for the week for like 50 bucks.
Plant an organic garden for $100 for the season or nap for humanity per hour.
Let's get the slaves to work.
This will stimulate the economy, allow real people to do real things for the environment, not just some farmer in India.
And he'll be giving all of the profits of Cash for Carbon to No Agenda every Sunday and Thursday in honor of show release day.
And he says he hopes he can get us some cash.
That's nice.
Yeah, that is nice.
And by the way, I want to mention a website we don't mention enough, because I went to it and I said, this guy is really doing a great job.
He needs to get more traffic, which is the NoAgendaEntertainment.com.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, fantastic.
It's totally fantastic.
He keeps track of every book we recommend and all the movies and all the rest of it.
It's a beautiful website.
It's nice.
Also, all the tracks.
If I play, do a daily source code.
He gets all the tracks and links to iTunes.
That's a lot of work.
So we have a directory.
Which is noagendaworld.com.
And I'm just starting to build it.
And I don't want to talk about it too much on this show.
But we're actually going to really build out those links and make it easy for people to find.
We're going to have managers in each different country of Gitmo Nation.
A lot of stuff working on.
I'm going to have to get over this cold.
HitThemInTheMouth.com Now forwarding to NoAgendaShow.com Like that a lot.
HotPocketsAcrossAmericaTour.com Thank you so much.
NoParanoia.com Then we have ClingToGunsAndReligion.com Yeah, real proud about that one.
I do like AQUSA.com That's a very nice one.
So we basically, we are the Al-Qaeda on the United States Peninsula right now.
That's nice.
AQUSA. We are Al-Qaeda.
We are Al-Qaeda.
And a link to a fine Mac application, which I think is free.
Thomas released this.
It's a no-agenda radiation calculator.
Ooh.
Yes, and you can...
You can calculate how fast you're dying, I guess.
I don't know what's going on.
But it's a link in the show notes under PR. And then finally, I really have to make mention of the new version of the Pocket No Agenda app.
It is completely out of control.
This thing is so awesome now.
Particularly the bat signal.
We now have individual bat signals for individual shows.
So if you want to be alerted when, for instance, Ray on the Charlie is on, you will get a bat signal for that.
You can turn it off if you don't want to be disturbed.
What's kind of cool, though, is that you and I, John, or I more specifically, I can actually trigger some of our favorite jingles in the app, and I was playing with it yesterday.
All of a sudden it's like, turn down your speakers!
Hundreds of thousands of phones around Gitmo Nation.
It's cute.
Yeah, well, not so cute because there were a couple people in the UK. It was like one in the morning and all of a sudden...
Imagine you're asleep and that pops up.
I've got to be kind of careful with that.
Yeah, this is what you call a kid.
You know, there's like...
No, no.
So, needless to say...
It's juvenile.
Yeah, it is juvenile, but it's very fun.
But it's cool that now every program on the stream has its own announcement.
They're all on by default, so you might want to check and make sure.
If you don't have it yet, just update the app.
So thank you all very much for your participation in our show, in supporting our show today.
Charlie Hendrickson, Daniel Foster, and David Redner, all executive producers and 300 club members.
I think that's pretty much embedded into your brain by now, isn't it?
Everyone else out there, please go forth and propagate the formula.
Our formula is this.
We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
Water.
Water.
I say it loud and proud now.
Shut up, slave.
So let me do a couple of clips now.
Because I have, I probably have as many clips as you do, but they're longer, so we'll never get to them all.
But I have a couple.
Some weird things happening.
First of all, the Donald Trump presidential campaign is getting interesting.
I must say, the guy is saying stuff, I'm like, yeah, right on.
At least we know he's a douchebag up front.
And I think that he is egomaniacal enough to actually go for it.
I think he just might go for it, John.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Actually, I'm stunned by this, that you'd say this, because you're the one who is, I think, slightly more cynical about the show biz versus publicity connection than I am.
And the fact that he's got a TV show and he's promoting it in the process.
I think you have the hook, the big old hook has got you right in the mouth and you're being reeled in.
No, I think you underestimate me, and I take that as an insult.
I believe that...
As well you should.
I think it would be very entertaining.
First of all, it doesn't matter who's president.
We'd love it.
I'm not saying it would be hilarious.
No, it would be fantastic.
You know, what's his name?
Heinrich Schwarzenegger.
Arnold.
He has now said that people are telling him he should probably run for president of the EU. And you know what?
I think this is going to catch on.
These kinds of people, this is exactly what we've been needing.
We've had ugly people in politics for a long time, in general.
He's not even a European.
How's he going to run for president?
Schwarzenegger is Austrian.
What are you talking about?
He doesn't have an Austrian passport.
Yes, he does.
I don't think so.
Yeah, he's an Austrian.
That's what we need.
We need a fine Austrian gentleman running Europe.
Hmm, where have I heard that before?
Right, with a small mustache.
Yes.
Hmm, this is a very good idea.
So anyway, so I got to play this clip from Trump because he was on with George Stepanapolopna, I'm enough.
And it's really amazing.
He, you know, because of course we know that ABC News is completely compromised, and this is where I just totally fell in love with Trump.
He's like, well, listen to it.
As George Stephanopoulos, who is, you know, first of all, he's half Trump's size, and he's a little mousy kind of guy, and he's trying to get a word in edgewise, and Trump is just trampling all over.
You say it's all about the messenger.
A lot of Republicans think you're a flawed messenger for the party.
Karl Rove, again over the weekend, saying you're a joke candidate if you continue to raise questions about President Obama's citizenship.
There's a real question about the birth certificate.
There's a real question about his own citizenship.
There is no question.
George, I know exactly what you're getting at.
The facts!
No, they're not the facts.
He doesn't have a birth certificate or he hasn't provided.
He's given a certificate of live birth.
It's a much different instrument.
Certificate of live birth meets the standard of the State Department for any one's citizenship.
George, they have co-opted you.
I love that they have co-opted you, George.
You are under their spell.
George, they've co-opted you.
It's not obviously Obama and his minions.
Come on, that's funny.
No, I'm not saying this is high entertainment.
I don't see why the Republicans...
I think it's bull crap, to be honest about it, that certain guys like Rove, who must think this is hilarious, are coming out with these, oh, this is terrible.
He shouldn't be saying that.
Meanwhile, it's one of those things where you say, no, no, no applauding, where you're meanwhile encouraging people with your other hand to bring up the applause level.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Please, please, no, stop.
Please, really, do more.
Yeah, exactly.
But it didn't stop there, man.
It just kept on going.
And I was just like, oh, I love this.
Please.
Is there more?
Yeah, oh yeah, it doesn't stop.
They have co-opted you.
He just keeps saying it again.
They have co-opted you, George.
You're a bot.
And first of all, true story.
A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any state of the imagination as a birth certificate.
George, it's so simple.
George, let him show the birth certificate.
And by the way, this is not a big focus of my campaign.
No, not at all.
But what are you talking about?
It's like watching a wrestling match with these bullcrabbers.
I spanked your woman while you weren't looking, George.
My big focus is China and OPEC. And I like this.
China and OPEC. It's like we're going to go kick their ass.
That's what I'm hearing.
This is what everyone's doing.
This is what's happening right now.
Our government is going after China.
But here's a guy who was president who would just say it.
We're going to go kick China's ass.
Screw the China man.
All of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States.
But Mr.
Cutter, you say it's not a big focus of yours as long as you continue to raise questions.
You make it a big focus.
Let's see what happens.
And that's true too.
You're making it a big focus.
It's absolutely true.
This is hilarious.
Let's see what happens.
But a certificate of live birth...
And a birth certificate are very different.
You said you sent investigators to Hawaii, and you said, quote, they cannot believe what they're finding.
What have they found?
What have they found?
These anonymous people.
Who are these experts in his world?
Well, listen, you know what?
What are you, George Stephanopoulos?
You know the questions to ask.
You're right.
None of your business right now.
I'm out of your business.
Shut up, slave.
We're going to see what happens.
Have they found anything?
We're going to see what happens.
What have they done?
We are going to see what happens.
When?
On the final episode of The Apprentice, of course.
When else do you think we're going to see what happens?
George, next question, George.
You refuse to accept that the president was born in the United States.
I hope he was.
I'm not looking.
If I should run, and if I decide to go, and I end up getting the nomination, I don't want to use this as an issue.
I'm not just like a normal guy that says, gee, I'm going to run for president.
I was a governor, I was a senator, I'm going to run for president.
No.
I'm a douchebag just straight up.
Now I'm going to run.
I give up a lot if I run.
A thing like that...
Like all the hookers and blow.
...also give up a lot of my free private life.
I have a great company.
I've done a great job, which if I run, you'll see what a great job, because I'll do a full disclosure of finances.
What?
Play the bullcrap clip.
Oh.
Sorry, I'm a little slow on the ball.
I can't...
We'll look at that.
Maybe I'm going to do the tax returns when Obama does his birth certificate.
All right.
So, I just thought that was hilarious.
Now, something weird happened, and I don't know if it was before this interview or after this interview.
So, now we have, I think there's a leak.
Either there's a leak within ABC, and someone let this out, and she was ready for it, or the whole thing was scripted and acted, and I don't understand what's happening.
She was also being interviewed by George Stepanopoulos, and he whips out the birth certificate.
He actually has it, John.
Did you know this?
He has the birth certificate.
Well, how come he didn't show it earlier?
You know what?
You can hear him leading Michelle Bachman on, trying to get her all pumped up and ready, and then he...
He's trying to set her up?
He's trying to set her up.
He does the big whip out, And then it was like she knew it.
Like she knew it was coming.
So either there's a leak within ABC and someone said, be careful, whatever you do, he's going to pull the birth certificate out.
So apparently he has it.
Or this whole thing was scripted.
One or the other, I'd like you to...
Oh, did I lose you, John?
Oh.
Oh, no.
I heard you...
I heard him die away.
Are you there?
Finished?
No, we can't be finished.
I'm still connected.
Hmm.
Let's pause.
Well, that was weird.
You just dropped out.
Did you lose connection somehow?
I know.
You were talking, and then you stopped talking, and then I realized we were disconnecting.
And you were just talking away, and you were saying...
I'm yakking away!
It was some of the best radio in your life.
I'm telling you, it was so funny.
Was it something about a clutch?
So, okay.
Clutch car.
Right.
So, let's listen to this a little bit.
And I'd like your opinion, John.
If this was, A, leaked to her, which is a problem because, of course, ABC is co-opted and compromised, or if they were just playing out a script together.
Sure.
I do want to get on to some other subjects.
Donald Trump was on this program yesterday.
He seems to be at the center of the Republican debate.
Right now he's at 8% in our latest poll.
You're down at 1%.
Karl Rove and other Republicans call him a joke.
That means we've got room to grow.
You've got room to grow.
Sarah Palin has praise for him.
Do you take his candidacy seriously?
Well, I think that it's up to Donald Trump if he takes his candidacy seriously.
Certainly he's had a good foothold with a lot of people in the United States.
I think they're intrigued by him and what he has to say.
He continues to raise these questions about the president's birth status.
And last night you were on Fox News suggesting the president should come forward with his birth certificate as well.
Lauren, what I've said about that is I was asked the question about that and Republicans are constantly asked to vouch for the authenticity of the birth certificate.
The only one who can is the clerk of court in the county where someone is born.
And that's where people should go.
Don't ask Republicans.
Go ask Republicans.
No, no, but actually one of your supporters in the state of Iowa has put forward a bill.
You hear it?
So he's drawing her out, right?
Yeah, no, he's right there.
She answered the question correctly, and he's trying to get her back on the track.
Now listen to how he tries to do that.
Well, back it up again, because it was really interesting the way, it was almost like it was panic in his voice.
Oh, that's interesting.
I didn't even hear that.
Let's listen.
And that's where people should go.
Don't ask Republicans.
No, no, but actually one of your supporters in the state of Iowa...
Yeah, he got a little nervous there, didn't he?
A little jitter.
So now he's trying to pull out something else.
else.
He's really trying to draw her out.
Put forward a bill that would require presidential candidates to file their birth certificate with their candidacy.
That is staggering, too.
Yep.
Well, Governor Jan Brewer just vetoed that bill in Arizona because she felt that that was a bridge too far, that it wouldn't be up to the authenticators in each state to do that, that that would be a federal issue.
There is a federal piece of legislation that hasn't gone anywhere that would also require that candidates put forward their birth certificate.
I have no problem giving my birth certificate.
It wouldn't bother me at all.
She's so cool.
She's so cool with this.
She says, you know, I have no problem giving my birth certificate.
Not a problem whatsoever.
Now, I think that at this point, she knows he's going to do the big reveal, and she's trying to put a little bit on top just to really embarrass him.
Oh, I've got one.
It's authenticated.
Take it.
Well, but so does the president.
According to the bill, a candidate for president or vice president shall attach to and file with the affidavit a copy of the candidate's birth certificate certified by the appropriate official in the candidate's state of birth.
That's right.
Well, I have the president's...
Certificate right here.
He has it!
How come I haven't seen this?
And how come he didn't show it to Trump?
And that was just the day before, so he has it, and they do a still shot?
Certified, it's got a certification number, it's got the registrar of the state signed, it's got a seal on it, and it says this copy serves as prima facie evidence of the fact of birth in any court proceeding.
Well then that should settle it.
She nails him.
Well, that should settle it.
It's over.
That's what should settle it.
I take the president at his word, and I think, again, I would have no problem that apparently the president wouldn't either introduce that.
We're done.
Move on.
Well, this has been introduced.
So this case is, this story is over.
Well, as long as someone introduces it, I guess it's over.
It's right there.
Yeah, there you go.
That is not the main issue facing the United States right now.
I think there's a leak within ABC and she knew it.
There's just no other way.
Because she's spoken very differently at rallies about this issue.
And she was so calm.
Like, oh, that settles it then, doesn't it?
And he's like, that's it?
You're not freaking out on me?
Think of my ratings woman.
This was not the agreement.
Well, the worst part is that he continued on with his script.
already locked down on another track.
Yeah.
And it makes him look like a bumbling idiot.
Well, he is.
I mean, it was ridiculous.
It was very funny.
He is a bumbling idiot.
That was very funny.
If you think of, if you deconstruct what you just witnessed with that clip.
It was perfect.
It's just, he thinks he's got somebody hooked.
Yep.
And he's reeling them in and then he comes up with an inner tube and he pretends it's Look at his size of this massive kite!
Well, that settles it then, doesn't it?
Hilarious.
Something she...
I think there's a...
They must be freaking out.
Who told her?
I think...
I don't know if it was ABC. Here's what probably...
I'm just supposing.
I have no idea what went on.
There must have been...
He must have had the meeting with Trump the day before and then all hell broke loose and the White House or somebody...
Said, here, here, take this.
...made this thing appear and it was such a buzz that she got wind of it.
Oh, okay.
That's possible.
I realize that the only reason she's being invited onto his show is so he can show her this.
And so she played it so cool and calm.
And yeah, that's right.
Well, I'm on board.
And making him look like a bumbling...
He looked typical of a hit piece.
If the person doesn't...
To do a real hit piece on somebody, make them look like an idiot.
All the ducks really do have to be in a row.
Yeah, it's not easy.
And it's not easy.
And the person has to kind of fall into the trap.
You know, they have to be arrogant or they have to do something that makes them look like an idiot.
So the hit piece works.
Well, she obviously got wind of something and she just played it cool as a cucumber and looked like the good guy.
He looked like a jerk.
Perfect.
Yeah, so I thought that was very funny.
No, that's a good clip.
I give you a chance.
No, it's alright.
I'm glad you're watching the show.
Well, I've been watching all kinds of stuff.
Wow, what's going on here?
We've got like planes and stuff flying overhead.
Well, maybe the missile will hit you.
You know, there were black helicopters last night in Miami, downtown Miami, for hours.
They were like taking off from rooftops and landing on other ones.
Drug bust?
No, it was apparently a Department of Homeland Security drill.
But they hadn't notified any of the residents and people, you know, it's like it's annoying when there's a helicopter hovering above your roof for an hour.
Yes.
As I'm witnessing right now, as a matter of fact, it's a very annoying sound.
Yeah, people are a little bit freaked out by that, but they, you know, these of course weren't the real black helicopters because they didn't have whisper mode.
So they're very, what is that noise?
God, it's some idiot with like a leaf blower.
Go, we're in Los Angeles, douchebag.
So, did you hear about this one?
The President gave three separate interviews to local Yokel news stations.
And he got really flustered because, of course, these guys, these local guys, they don't play by the script, right?
Right, and they probably know that this is going to be their one shot.
And boy, did this guy take advantage of it.
So not only does he really piss the president off, and he says something about that at the end, but he actually flusters the president into confirming a double negative.
Which really blew me away, and I don't think anyone caught it, but essentially if you go into a double negative, you're confirming what was being denied.
Let me see if I can give you an example here.
We met the president in the map room of the ground level of the White House, where he said his deficit reduction plan is better with its higher taxes on the rich and cuts.
We can take a more balanced approach, consistent with what my fiscal commission put forward, which says $2 trillion worth of cuts.
But in Texas, his plan is a tough sell.
Why do you think you're so unpopular in Texas?
Well, look, the...
Look, look, look.
Look, look.
Texas has always been a pretty, uh, uh, Republican state for, uh, you know, for historic reasons.
Historic reasons?
And what might those be?
What does that mean?
That thing is bullcrap.
However, he inferred his election meant Texas politics were changing.
We lost by a few percentage points in Texas.
Well, you, uh, well, you lost by about ten.
Okay, this is where it starts to go off the rails with this guy.
He lost like 10 bonehead, not 2.
55-44.
I understand.
I mean, if what you're telling me is Texas is a conservative state, you're absolutely right.
Republican Governor Rick Perry harshly and frequently criticizes the President over the health care law, EPA regulations on Texas oil and gas industries, and the budget.
But Mr.
Obama hinted at hypocrisy by Perry.
Governor Perry helped balance his budget with about $6 billion worth of federal help.
Now listen very carefully, because you've really got to focus in on what happens in this next bit.
...started blaming the members of Congress who had offered that help.
Houston Republicans and Democrats suspect the Obama administration skipped Houston to award shuttle orbiters to states that would help in the president's reelection.
That's wrong.
So was the shuttle not awarded to Houston because of politics?
I just said that was wrong.
We had nothing to do with it.
White House had nothing to do with it.
There was a whole commission, a whole process.
That's how the decision was made.
And you weren't personally involved in the decision?
I just said that wasn't true.
So you weren't personally involved in the decision?
He comes back and says, I just said that wasn't true.
I.e.
it was true.
Am I crazy?
No, he is answering the question as a negative in the wrong way.
He's answering some previous question, but if you have him answering the question the guy just asked, yeah, then he's just essentially saying, yes, he did it.
No, but I think it's poor showmanship at best.
Whatever the case is, he could have charmed this guy earlier.
With that 10-point thing, that was an opportunity for Obama to joke around.
Right.
And say, well, you know, I'm an optimist, and gee, you know, these things happen.
But instead, he got all bent out of shape about it, being corrected.
He can't be corrected.
Well, listen to this.
So listen to the end.
I don't know if you can hear perfectly what he says.
Yeah, this is the part that every right-wing show is playing.
Oh, really?
Okay.
I didn't know that.
He claimed an immigration reform bill still isn't dead.
The question is going to be, are we going to be able to find some Republicans who can partner with me and others to get this done once and for all instead of using it as a political football.
And the president says he's not giving up on Texas.
Are you going to campaign in Texas for re-election or is the state written off?
I never write off any states.
You're not going to write off?
I never write off states and I love Texas.
After the interview, Mr.
Obama pointed out that he doesn't like an interviewer challenging his comments.
Everyone has listened to this.
He never really interrupted Obama that much.
And by the way, O'Reilly interrupted constantly.
Obama's long-winded and has to be interrupted.
And he goes, uh...
And also, it's apparently what you interrupt him about, because I do have a clip, which is the Zuckerberg clip, where Zuckerberg's asking him a question, and then just before Obama's going to jump in, Zuckerberg interrupts him.
And doesn't let him say anything until he gives him a big compliment.
And so the big compliment, I guess it's okay to...
You can interrupt me if you're going to tell me how great I am.
Alright, the next one's from the web.
We've got a question from Kwame Simmons from Orlando, Florida.
And he asks, I strongly believe that education is the greatest equalizer.
With so many problems plaguing our current system, is it possible to examine a complete overhaul of the systems that it addresses the needs of modern students?
Okay, hold on a second.
That's not a real question.
That is not, that's a fake question.
You think it's a fake?
Really?
The question from the web would be, yo, what tracks are you dropping, nigga?
Please, this is so bogus.
Before you jump in, I just want to say as someone who's spent a bunch of time researching education who cares about this, I think that the race to the top stuff that you guys have done is one of the most underappreciated and most important things that your administration has done.
I appreciate that.
The, uh...
By the way...
So he jumps in.
Before you say it, he jumps in.
Bob interrupts Obama and then gives him this big kiss on the lips with this race to the top crap.
And this whole thing was unbelievable.
And yeah, they were all scripted and there were people in the audience that jumped up and asked the question and they were all pretty lame and...
There's a couple of things.
I don't want to keep bringing these clips up, but I do have an excessive number.
By the way, and I hope that I'm going to try to relent from overdoing this, because I do think my original thesis that Obama's going to talk himself out and he's going to get old fast is going to come up on this show, too.
But here's an interesting weasel word, one with a little neurolinguistic stuff going on with Obama on the budget.
He's got some weasel words in here.
It's quite interesting.
So what his budget proposal does is not only hold...
Hold on a second.
Stop.
Stop.
So he's talking about Paul Ryan's budget proposal.
Yeah, no, obviously.
Now, the thing is, he does these long...
On this pause, by the way, the first pause, I actually cut this thing down by 90%.
Because I couldn't play the clip...
With this, I mean, it would be like, you know, it'd be, is this dead air?
You'd be wondering yourself.
So I had to kind of tighten this up a little bit.
But he goes, he has these things, and he sits and he thinks and thinks of some way of putting something.
Then he'll say something, and then he'll do his little neuro-linguistic addition to it.
So when he says taxes, for example, where we're keeping taxes the same, he always changes that to lower taxes, and then there's always a pause, and then he always throws in, for the rich.
Not only...
Hold income tax flat.
He actually wants to further reduce taxes for the wealthy, further reduce taxes for corporations, not pay for those, and in order to make his numbers work, cut 70% out of our clean energy budget.
Cut 25% out of our education budget.
Cut transportation budgets by a third.
I guess you could call that bold.
I would call it short-sighted.
So, a couple things here.
First of all, there's some kind of truck outside making a lot of noise.
I can't hear it.
Okay, you can't, but I can't.
So, I'm sorry about that.
Now, second of all, Paul Ryan is also a douchebag.
All these guys are incredible.
And by the way, he's like a little Weasley douchebag.
Yeah, he's very Weasley.
Did this guy just fall out of Harvard or Yale or where is he from?
Horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible.
Definitely looks like a preppy.
And everyone is just weaseling around because the true problem is we're spending a trillion dollars on war.
And no one will actually just come out and say it.
That's the solution.
Just stop killing people.
Stop it already.
What is that, Mickey?
Is that like a truck?
It's a huge truck and I can't...
Did you try?
Yeah.
What did you do?
I asked if they could stop it.
What?
You actually went outside and said, stop that!
There's a show going on!
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
You're ruining my life!
And then what'd they say?
No, they're doing this whole plumbing thing.
Oh, really?
That's going to cost me.
Try that in New York.
Yeah, try it.
Did they tap your ass?
Of course they did.
Maybe you can show some skin.
I'm sick.
Oh, sorry, honey.
She's got the flu, too?
Yeah, she has the flu as well.
We were both down and out.
I think it's because you guys started smoking again.
You made yourself vulnerable.
No, no, no, no, no.
Anyway, so that, of course, is the big elephant in the room.
So it's all a big joke.
It's all theater.
Yeah, no, I agree with this 100%.
In fact, I was reading something about Obama made this stupid comment, and I had to check it out, because at some point he says stuff that you just have to look it up.
Yeah.
And there's one here where he talks about the engineers.
Let me see if I can find which one it is.
It might be in the batch two.
The asthma comment is funny because it was commented on by a bunch of people.
There's one thing he says, Andy Grove.
There's one thing after another he says that's bogus.
He actually says that's bogus?
No, no.
Here, the rant on infrastructure is the one that I want to refer to.
According to the Republican budget that was passed, for example, we would have to eliminate transportation funding by a third.
We'd have to cut transportation funding by a third.
You remember when that bridge in Minnesota collapsed with all those people on it?
And there was a big hue and cry, how can this happen in America?
Well, the National Society of Engineers...
They've looked around and they give us a D when it comes to infrastructure.
Now, is that the same guys who said that the World Trade Center could not have collapsed by itself?
Or is it different engineers?
Well, one thing is there is no American Society of Engineers.
Really?
You looked that up?
Yeah.
Did he actually say the American Society of Engineers?
Hold on.
I've got to listen to that.
Let me check that again.
They've looked around and...
Hold on.
Back a little.
Society of Engineers...
I love it.
Hold on.
They looked around and...
Yeah, okay.
The American Society of Engineers.
Nice.
Okay, so there is no such thing.
But what he maybe could have said, which is what it was, which is the American Society of Civil Engineers, who is kind of a...
They have a vested interest in building stuff, infrastructure.
So wherever they look, everything is falling apart.
And so they gave, they think the country's falling apart and they said it's a D. But if you start looking at their, they have a website, it's called infrastructurereportcard.org.
Oh, please.
This is actually a 2009 study.
He said, and they say that we're $2.2 trillion in need of new roads.
Yeah, sure.
There's probably some truth to that out here because there's potholes.
Yeah.
They had stuff like, I was looking at the state by state, and they said something like, California, for example, this is one of the problems.
This says, an unmet need of $1.7 billion for outdoor recreation facilities and parkland acquisition.
So we get low grades because of this.
So in other words, we're not buying enough property.
The feds aren't buying enough property.
So this gives us a low grade.
By the way, $1.7 billion, that's less than what we spend on the war in Afghanistan a week.
A week, yeah.
Alright, let's get off of this because I'm incredibly bored with the whole Facebook Obama story.
What a distraction from what's really going on.
I want to say one more thing though.
While you're bored, which I can imagine, remember that clip of Biden falling asleep during the speech?
Yes.
And then the woman behind him, whose head just caved in, she was down, right?
Did she die?
No, no, no.
She was asleep.
She might have.
Passed out.
So I saw the clip again on the big screen, and besides O'Biden asleep and the woman behind him conked out cold, the black chick in the back...
She was falling asleep and she was like that old eyes go closed.
The head jerk, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The head jerk and the eyes go closed.
Head jerk.
So there were three people out of six conked out.
You know why this is?
Because they all had to go to rehearsal.
They've all done this.
They heard the speech.
They all had to, you know, they rehearsed this.
I'm sure that they have an identical room and you're going to sit here.
Oh, Biden, you sit over here.
Lady, falling asleep lady, you sit over here.
General, you sit over here.
And they do it over and over again.
It's a rehearsal.
Everything is so scripted with these guys.
They're just tired.
They just fell asleep.
It's like high school kids at the high school play.
I'm tired.
So anyway, so very important news, John.
Sweet Mickey Martelli, the newly elected and completely fair and legally and democratically elected former singer of some Kalualua band, who is now the president of Haiti, came to visit Lucifer Clinton.
And they had a nice little statement together, and we had Lucifer there, and there was like three people, literally three people in the audience, and this guy all of a sudden couldn't speak English anymore, though we've heard him speak English, and it's okay, right?
It's not bad.
So he was speaking French with an interpreter standing nearby.
So I'm going to spare you the opening statements by Frau Lucifer, But something very funny, like midway, she says how important this whole Haitian thing is, how really, really personally important it is.
Of course, we know why, because we're going to have Clinton Avenue and the Bill and Hillary Clinton honeymoon suite in the hotel.
I mean, they've been waiting for this for years.
We are behind him.
We have a great deal of enthusiasm.
This is not only a goal of our foreign policy, but it is a personal priority for me, my husband, and many of us here.
You think?
Personal goal.
In Washington.
Now, some of you may know that Mr.
Martelly's campaign slogan was Tet Calais.
Now, I'm told the literal translation of that slogan is bald head.
Which doesn't need any further explanation.
What?
Yeah, he's bald.
He has a bald head.
Oh.
It probably means dickhead, but someone told her wrong.
But, Tet Calais is also an expression that means all the way.
And the people of Haiti may have a long road ahead of them, but as they walk it, the United States will be with you all the way.
Thank you, sir.
Yeah, just like in the past.
Now listen to the applause.
Ah!
Like three people.
So anyway, so then Sweet Mickey Martelli goes into his whole rap, which is like, I was like, oh, Biden.
You know, like, whatever.
So then we open it up to questions.
This is always interesting because you never, ever see that on television.
What do you think the first question was about regarding, as we have Haiti, we've got the bald-headed guy, we've got Lucifer Clinton.
What is the number one question?
What would the topic be about?
Well, if it was me, I'd ask, where's the money?
No.
We talk about Libya, of course.
It was the most embarrassing thing.
What?
The first question, right off the bat, is about Libya and Syria.
This is at the press conference for Haiti?
Is something wrong, babes?
Oh, okay.
Yeah, and she, without even, you know, saying, well, that's kind of inappropriate, she just goes straight into the answer.
So I think it was a scripted moment with, you know, prepared and like, all right, you know, you want...
No, it has to be, it has to be, because this is off-topic, and I've never seen anyone in one of these deals where somebody goes off-topic where they're not scolded for it.
Yeah.
And she's a scolder.
Oh, yeah.
She loves to scold people.
In fact, she smiled.
among the international community can provide which goods and services.
Now, I think it's important to point out that this...
This, by the way, is about the $25 million that the State Department is making available to the opposition, formerly known as the rebels, formerly known as Twitterers.
So they're making $25 million available in stuff.
Opposition, which has held its own against a brutal assault by the Qaddafi forces, was not an organized militia.
It was not a group that had been planning to oppose the rule of Qaddafi for years.
It was a spontaneous response...
Yeah, a spontaneous response with tanks and jet fighters.
Amazing!
And who were these people, Hillary?
Within the context of the broader Arab Spring.
These are mostly business people, students, lawyers, doctors, professors.
Now, you've seen the video of the so-called rebels.
Do they look like lawyers and doctors to you?
They look like just a bunch of street ruffians.
Who have very bravely moved to defend their communities and to call for an end to the regime in Libya.
And we are going to continue to take actions consistent with UN authorization to try to fulfill the international commitment.
like three minutes of answer of this completely inappropriate question.
But they're teeing it up.
And it's very important for everyone to see this because what they're doing now is they are – remember we read the United Nations resolutions 1970 and 1973 where there's all this stuff in there and then at the very end it basically says these terms of services can change at any minute, right?
Well, we're at that point right now.
And that point is the one little line that you and I both joked about is that they can literally use any means necessary to protect civilians.
So William Haig, who is the foreign minister for Gitmo Nation East over there in the UK, he comes out and he says, oh, we're going to send in troops, boots on the ground.
But, John, they're not going to be fighting troops.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
No, no.
We're not going to do that.
No, no.
They're just going to provide support and logistics and, you know, like, help them how to set up a tent.
This is helping them to organize themselves.
This is mentoring rather than training.
It's not training.
It's mentoring.
This is totally 1984.
This is the Brits that are sending in these guys.
Yeah, the Brits are, yeah.
Oh, the French want to send in the commandos, but the Brits...
This is not training.
It's mentoring.
This is not training the fighting forces of the opposition.
It's not training people how to use specific pieces of equipment or what to do on the battlefield.
The guy is such a douchebag.
This is organizational assistance.
Organizational assistance, I tell you.
Let me get the marbles out of my mouth.
Saying this is how you organize your structures.
This is how you organize your communications or your logistics.
It's called training.
Yeah, they should bring in UPS because they're good at logistics.
If they can do that, they will be in a better position to protect civilian life.
Forgive me, that sounds like training.
Yeah, so this is good.
Excuse me, that sounds like training.
Right on, girl.
It's not training the fighting forces.
Oh, are they going to just train the kids on the street?
It's mentoring!
Shut up!
It's mentoring!
It's just mentoring!
Very clear.
It is helping with the organization of headquarters.
Headquarters?
It is not training or arming the fighting forces of the opposition.
So there's a very clear distinction between those two things.
If those British officers who are involved in this new contingent were to be attacked by Gaddafi, will they fight back?
Good question.
In self-defense?
Well, their protection really comes from the opposition side.
But they're not good enough for them, are they?
That's why they're there.
Yeah, I can just see a bunch of British troops like, you know, if we're attacked, these guys are going to protect us.
Boneheads.
Really?
Really?
I weep.
I weep for the young men and women in Gitmo Nation UK in the east who have to go there.
I weep for you.
My heart hurts.
I know kids who have come back from Afghanistan that my daughter used to hang out with.
They're completely effed up.
This guy is an asshole.
I'm sorry.
He has no qualms about sending young kids into this crap for money and for oil.
You're a dick.
So these are not fighting forces.
They are not going to engage in battlefield.
Battlefield!
These are advisors.
These are people who know about organizational aspects.
They're not people who are...
Oh, let me guess.
They're consultants.
...to fight a war themselves.
Wouldn't you be safer to go after another resolution which would give you more scope at this point?
Well, I don't think there's any need for that to do this.
Because, as I say, I'm confident this is well within the United Nations resolutions, the provision to take all necessary measures in order to protect the civilian population.
See, there it is.
He pulls out the final line card.
We can take all necessary measures and we can do whatever we want.
Now, so that he rambles on.
I think there is one clip that we should really listen to.
I want to add a little color to that.
Hillary was on with Kissinger on the Charlie Rose show yesterday.
Yeah, I didn't have time to watch it.
I know that she did it.
There was an interesting...
I have a clip where I can show up and play it on Sunday, but it's when...
Charlie Rose says, well, we want regime change.
Here's what Charlie says.
Tell me about this sexuality.
It's in your DNA. He said we want regime change.
And Hillary, he's talking to Kissinger, and Hillary jumps in and says, no, no, no, that's not why we're there.
Right.
That's what she says.
That's not why we're there.
We're there to protect the civilians.
Idiot.
I'm thinking, this thing has fallen off the track.
Meanwhile, of course, they're shooting protesters left and right in Syria as we speak.
Democracy now, they're actually focusing their show, the progressives...
On Syria, right?
No, on Bahrain.
Because apparently all hell's broken loose there, and there's this one woman who's pregnant, and she's a martyr, and she's under arrest, and the Bahrainis are being shot, and the Saudi soldiers are in there killing Bahrainis, and the whole thing is on and on about Bahrain.
Syria, they don't have any sympathy for, so that's going to, who knows how we're going to deal with that.
But this whole thing is like, you know, Syria, I mean, they have to be in the same playbook, so Syria's going to fall, but Bahrain isn't on that road to Persia, so that's got to...
Path to Persia.
Path to Persia.
And it's going to end up being, you know, still whatever it is.
I mean, it's going to stay as Bahrain, one of our buddies, because I think it's the Ninth Fleet or one of the big Navy contingents use Bahrain as their home base, and they can't have any bull crap going on there.
So they might as well, you know, nobody wants to talk about that.
Anyway, this whole thing is a fiasco.
Well, so there's a couple things.
First of all, I want to thank Dave, who is a part of the Noage in the News Network.
He shows up as southernbread.org.
And he had a very interesting theory, which I've cross-referenced with a couple of our other boots on the ground and people in the business.
He says he feels that there's also a fight going on between Schlumberger and Halliburton over North African oil, which I hadn't even thought about.
But it's actually a pretty good theory.
Schlumberger trying to move Russia into North Africa, Halliburton trying to keep him out.
And of course both of these companies have more than just oil rigging businesses.
And of course we know who's behind Halliburton.
So I thought that was very interesting.
Something showed up on Russia Today, though, and what I'd like to do is I want to play this clip, and when you have had enough of it, you tell me, and we'll stop it.
I love Russia Today!
Well, you're not going to love this because, again, once again, I mean, are they paying our consultancy bills?
Because they're not taking our advice.
They are not taking the hot chicks.
By the way, have you seen Natasha Curry?
No.
She's on HLN on the weekends?
No.
She looks like she's very pretty.
She should be the one that should just hire her.
She's pretty in a Yasmin Bleeth kind of way.
Yeah, she is.
Oh, I see a swimsuit picture of her.
Is she Russian?
She got the name Natasha.
What more do you need?
Well, Curry.
Well, Curry's a British name, isn't it?
Let me see.
Anchor CNN Headline News.
Fill in for Robin Mead on Morning Express.
Hold on a second.
On Morning Express with Robin Mead, now featuring Natasha Curry.
Previously, Morning Anchor, Como TV. She's from Seattle.
Personal...
Doesn't say...
Oh...
She's been married to a firefighter since her days at Como and recently began appearing on air with her wedding ring.
She's cute.
Anyway.
Yeah, I think she'd be good on that Brush It Today thing.
Yeah, but she'd have to bleach her hair.
I mean, it has to be blonde.
I like it when it's all pulled back.
Yeah, they're never going to go with the blonde thing.
No, they're not.
They're just idiots.
So now they have a douchebag English guy.
But what's interesting is they bring in a guest, and this is hilarious.
This guest's name is Pepe Escobar.
I saw this and I taped some of it.
Escobar, this is actually quite entertaining.
The guy's got most of our theory, but he has a few extra gotchas in there that we don't have, which I may incorporate.
Yeah, play him.
Opinion that Washington's pursuing a larger goal than just regime change across the Arab world.
Lex, bring into the picture from Brazil, the Asian Times correspondent, Pepe Escobar.
Now, by the way, I mean, he's got to be a part of the Escobar crime family.
Well, he's from Brazil.
Escobar's like Jones.
But Escobar's not a portrait that I know of, so I don't know where he's actually originally from.
I like him, though.
He's great.
This is a great thing to listen to.
Everyone's going to get a kick out of this.
Ask him about the role some countries are playing in the uprisings.
Evening to you, Pepe.
One of your recent articles you've just been reading, you cite China as one of...
China's?
What is that?
China's.
China's.
Gaddafi's major financial partners.
Does that mean, therefore, carrying this one through, this trend of thought that Beijing has a vested interest in keeping the status quo?
Well, it goes way beyond Libya, in fact.
I'm working on a story at the moment, pitting the Pentagon against China.
This is the big story in Africa for the next 50 years, I would say.
Starts in the beginning of the 2000s with the creation of the African Union.
Gaddafi was very important in this mechanism.
It was a mechanism to give a political voice to Africa in terms of better unified Africa in terms of political decisions and, of course, economic integration.
Then China started investing much more than it was investing during the 1990s all over Africa in at least 30 countries.
They have more than 900 projects all over Africa.
They are the number one oil importer from Angola, for instance.
They import...
This is a big one, this AFRICOM, the African Command.
I've had a couple of links in the show notes.
Of course, we talked about this basic theory when we first started the show.
About the fact that Chinese are going in, and we have the other element, which he doesn't discuss, which is the fact that they come in with these sweet deals to bring in Chinese products without paying tariffs, which is another, we'll go into that later, but we've talked about this before.
And we did talk about AFRICOM, or whatever it's called, I believe a couple, over two years ago.
Yeah, but what he has to say about it is something I hadn't considered.
Which has just launched its first African war when they launched the Tomahawks three weeks ago against Tripoli, basically.
So now, this is the chessboard.
It's the Pentagon via African against Chinese investments.
I love it!
And in the middle are, I would say, at least 50.
Yeah, stupid slaves.
You're in the middle.
You're kind of annoying.
Let me pound some tomahawks on your head.
African governments, and they are scrambling to say, okay, what are we going to do now?
Perfect.
Let me just focus in a bit here.
Okay, so you're saying there's an opinion that Iran...
There is an opinion, actually, isn't it, that Iran is Washington's endgame here, after Libya, maybe Syria too.
Now, taking into consideration those Chinese investments you've been talking about, let's focus in on Iran.
Can we expect to see China take sides, maybe, if the threat of regime change reaches Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?
Yes or no?
What do you think?
I would say no because the next domino to fall, if we follow the agenda established by Washington...
Now, pay close attention because you've got to write these names down.
...would be Syria.
I would say that...
Let's look at the window of opportunity for the next five or six weeks in Syria.
If the lifting of the state of emergency by President Bashar al-Assad holds...
But the protests continue.
Then we're going to have major trouble, because not only the U.S. is trying to destabilize the Bashar al-Assad government, like the recent reports and the WikiLeaks cables prove it, but also Saudi Arabia is financing the Muslim Brotherhood in Syria.
And the Muslim Brotherhood...
It basically is a weaponized ideological arm of Saudi Arabia.
He would love to have a very, very close ally in Syria in the form of a Muslim Brotherhood government.
So I would say, pay attention to Syria in the next five, six weeks.
And how far would Washington ever push this?
China is of course a major creditor for the US. How far would Washington go in competition with Beijing?
Well, the problem is there are different Washington agendas.
White House...
This is very interesting, because now he's literally...
Yeah, you know, this is one of the things, we've talked about this, and we ourselves have determined that there are multiple agendas going on, and there may be battles between the CIA, the White House, and CIA and the Pentagon.
And even when Rumsfeld was in there, he was, like, apparently creating these problems.
So we have, like, multiple governments...
Yeah, and it's a big mess.
National security agencies, CIA, the Pentagon.
The Pentagon basically is the African agenda.
They want to win the war in Libya, install an African base in Africa.
We have to remember the African headquarters in Stuttgart in Germany because nobody in Africa wanted the headquarters based in an African country.
That to me was a big one.
I didn't know that either.
I thought, wow, okay, so that's the plan, is we've got to install AFRICOM headquarters.
Yeah, in Africa.
Yeah, because they were based in Stuttgart.
Not a good place to be.
And then, there are the dominoes.
Libya, Ivory Coast, Eritrea, Zimbabwe, Somalia.
So these are the next dominoes to follow according to the AFRICOM Pentagon agenda.
Now, This is very interesting because we have a different thought about the pipeline that has to go all the way down south.
And he doesn't mention any of those.
He doesn't mention the Congo.
He doesn't mention Uganda.
So could that be the problem that we have the AFRICOM-Pentagon-based fraction and they want to have all these...
They just want to have control because they just, you know, they get off on us.
Like they're whacking off like...
There's something, there is definitely a second, two things going on at the same time, and I think that's why we get confused when we try to deconstruct this.
Now, I want to say that when he mentioned Ivory Coast, I perked up because I don't have a clip from it, but I was thinking about putting the clip in there, which is, I was watching over the, it was either the weekend or a couple days ago, probably a couple days ago, I was watching some stuff on CNN, and And they were doing these, they were doing international, CNN International, they're doing international news, and they were just all the same news that we normally hear.
Then they do a whole special out of the blue, and this is for an American audience, out of the blue on the Ivory Coast.
And I'm saying, why are they doing this story on the Ivory Coast?
Who gives a crap?
And it was like a big story.
Oh, there's a, you know, the new government's going to come in and this is going to happen.
There's a whole bunch of stuff going on on the Ivory Coast, which we haven't been following because we, I don't know whose plan of execution we're on to, but we're on the one that involves the celebrities and the Congo and that group and the pipeline.
And there's some other one that's apparently overlaying the one we're onto that we have to now take it, we have to adjust for.
And the Ivory Coast is part of that, and you mentioned Somalia and some other country.
Nigeria and...
Another one that keeps showing up, if you haven't noticed, that's showing up in the news out of the blue.
I mean, why aren't we getting election results from Angola?
I mean, why is all of a sudden Nigeria such a big topic to get the American public used to the fact, I don't know, are we going to have an out-and-out war with the countries in Africa?
Are we going to be liberating them and making them quote-unquote democracies?
And besides the pipeline thing, I mean, which kind of contradicts what this other thing might be about.
I don't know.
Now I'm completely...
It muddied the water, let's put it that way.
Well, so it certainly seems like there's just a bunch of guys who get hard-ons for killing people.
And particularly if there's Chinese fuckers in there.
They really like that.
That would be AFRICOM and the Pentagon.
And then there's the oil cabal, which, you know, they have their own agenda.
OPEC, I guess.
Anyway, so, you know, it's confusing, but one thing's for sure, this is not about humanitarian effort.
That's for sure.
This is about killing people and making money off of stuff that flies without pilots and kills you.
And getting the Chinese out of Africa.
Yeah, definitely.
So this is all a proxy to strike back at China.
And it'll be interesting to see what China does.
You know, we don't know anything about China.
His theory with this guy, Pepe, which I thought was interesting.
You don't have to play any more of that.
No, no, no.
We can summarize.
But anyway, his theory is that the Chinese are non-confrontational.
So they do everything through very sneaky, layered approaches, which is what they've been doing in Africa because that's how they've been getting all their goods and services into Africa without paying any duty, pretty much wiping out all the European competition, which is when I first got winded this about five years ago from some Germans that had told me about what was going on in China.
Right.
Which is that the Chinese, they come in, they promise they're going to build a big dam, but they've got to bring all their people, and they've got to have some considerations.
And the first thing they do is they basically build a town, and they bring in every sort of color TV and stereo and computer into this, and they start selling it to the locals without having to pay duty.
And everybody buys that.
Why should we buy your expensive IBM when we can buy this stuff from China for one-tenth the price?
So let me ask you this question.
Where do these rebels always get their American flags from that they burn?
Is there like a flag shop on every corner?
If I had to go get an American flag here, I mean, I'd have to hunt around.
I'd have to Google and I'd have to drive somewhere to go get an American flag.
You'd have to order from Amazon.
These guys seem to have flags all the time.
They've got like bushels of flags, and you know they're made in China.
It's like, that's just curious, you know?
It's like, where do you get the flags from?
The Chinese are probably selling American flags that are pre-soaked.
Get your flags!
Get your pre-soaked flags!
Get your flags here!
They burn great!
Just like the charcoal briquettes that are already soaked with fluid.
It comes in like a plastic bag, you rip it open, hit and match on it, and the thing's up in like a torch.
I think you don't have to do that.
It's kind of like a flare.
You just kind of rub the flag together and just goes.
Yeah, they do always burn really well.
So, anyway, there is a history lesson taking place, because obviously we have to teach our slaves, and our slaves, of course, are the young kids, exactly how it all fits together.
Now, what is the best way to teach the slaves a little history lesson?
There's only one place you want to do that, and that would be in a video game.
So before we get to our segment where we thank people for supporting the show, I would like to play for you the intro.
I know you've played some Xbox games and stuff, John.
Usually for these shoot-em-up games, they have like a little intro movie, right?
That kind of sets the stage for you.
Sometimes you can't even start the game without having watched that at least once, and then you can kind of skip past it.
This is the new game, Operation Flashpoint.
Red River.
And this is a history lesson.
And this is how our kids are learning about what's happening in the world.
By the way, not safe for children, but this is what your children not safe for children, but this is what your children are watching anyway, so you might as well get used to it.
Reagan, Reagan, Ronald Reagan, the 40th president of the United States, whatever, dude.
Reagan had to deal with all this same stuff in the 80s.
Surgeons trying to overthrow their governments.
Back then, the Afghans went crying to the Russians for help.
This piss is breaking off so much, these boys whip up Operation Cyclone and use the CIA to arm and train the Mujahideen.
One of these CIA-trained, badass Lawrence of Arabia SOBs who kicks the Russians' asses out of Afghanistan ends up being Osama Bin Laden.
Oh, snap!
No shit!
True story.
So the Mugees kick Russia's red ass across the sand, the entire Russian economy collapses, and goodbye USSR! Now America has no more bad guys to fight!
Go America!
It's your first time!
But in the meantime, Osama and his now well-armed Al-Qaeda brothers start screwing with everybody.
Egypt, Algeria.
Hell, he's blown up half the Middle Eastern governments trying to create a unified Muslim country.
But here's the thing.
The people don't want it.
Why?
Don't know.
Maybe they liked their lives how they were.
So he deems them all viable targets.
He started blowing up his own fucking people?
Man, that's fucked up.
Yeah, that's why they're called terrorists, douchebags.
So, Bush Sr.
becomes President 41.
Before we know it, he's balls deep in Kuwait fighting Saddam for the Saudis.
This pisses Osama off so much, he starts mouthing off about Saudi Arabia.
So the Saudis banish his ass.
Now, the dude's living in a cave in the hills of Afghanistan, and he's like, screw this noise, and calls down a jihad on all Americans.
So it's patwa on America and our allies.
What happens next?
This is the worst thing I've ever heard.
Where'd you get this again?
This is from the new video game, Operation Flashpoint Red River.
Wow.
So they throw in a kind of a bastard, you know, it's moderately...
Accurate, but it's obviously riddled with inconsistencies, propaganda, and God knows what else.
And kids, this is like the prelude, so you have to listen to all this garbage before you play the game?
Yeah, and the part that we just didn't get to right now is, so now where we're going is to go kick the ETIM's ass.
You know what the ETIM is?
What?
The East Turkestan Islamic Movement.
And that's who they're going to go fight in Operation Flashpoint.
So that's what the game's about.
Yeah.
And so it's based on this backstory, which is the Osama and the rest of it.
Yeah, just listen to the end where they go booyah.
Grade A hardcore action.
Every Marine you give is left not for.
Devils!
Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah!
Let's kick some ass!
Kick some rag head ass!
Hoorah!
Come on kids!
This is predictive training once again.
So there you go.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's not the most popular game in the world.
I'm going to show myself the world by donating to no agenda.
Imagine all the people who could do that.
Oh yeah, that'd be fab.
Yeah, on your agenda in the morning.
Well, we got a few donors.
You're actually short.
I want to tell everybody we'd like to get everybody to pick up their game a little bit, although this is a slow week because of the spring break issues.
Yeah, but we're here.
We're going to be here Easter Sunday.
I'm here with a fever.
Yeah, we are.
That's what we do.
No.
That's what we do.
Last time we did it was a joke.
Yeah, I don't care.
Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
In the morning, John and Adam.
My name's Dara.
My brother Stuart and I are donating $61.50 in honor of our dad Robert Gold's birthday on April 23rd.
61 for his age and 50 for his birth year.
Hello.
And we realized that if we both donated, it added up to one, two, three.
We know how much you like fun numbers, tricks.
So we had to donate.
No agenda is a family affair.
We are all Minutemen, and it would be great if Adam could...
Oh, no.
They want me to sing along with it.
If I could just read ahead like a pro, I wouldn't have read the sentence.
It would be great if Adam could sing along with the jingle for our dad's birthday.
I look forward to that.
Keep up the awesome work, signed Dara.
Ascelent Corporation, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, $111.11.
Joe Cool Design, Princeton, Ontario, Canada, 11111.
Lawrence McBride, Moortown, Merseyside, UK, 111.11.
Amy Johnson, Norfolk, Virginia, $100.
Chris from Takamatsu in Gitmo Nation, someplace or other.
What was it, Wasabi?
Down Under.
Down Under.
Okay, let's just cut off on my thing here.
Watsonia.
Watsonia, Victoria, Australia.
He's wearing tabby boots for humanity.
Michael Kearns, Platte City, Missouri.
99.99.
Please consider this my payment in advance for your next talking points memo.
May I suggest a topic of education or maybe vaccines?
Thanks in advance for providing this awesome service.
Derek Kimberly, Northam, West Australia.
What is WA in Australia?
I'm sorry.
I'm ill.
I'm spacing.
Northam, Australia.
Today I was assaulted by an aboriginal man because my dog peed onto his kid's helmet.
I'd be assaulting you too.
Really?
He wouldn't take an apology.
He thought he would clock me in the head instead.
I would like to be honored with a street fighter de-douching.
You've been de-douched.
That sucks.
97.33.
Sucks to be you, dude!
Strange story.
Tyler Gajewski, Green Bay, Wisconsin, $75.
Ron Bellar in Nepian, Ontario, Canada, $55.55.
Bradley Serbu, Naples, Florida, $50.
And George Vanderhorst, a couple of $50 donations.
A double layaway program is a gift to me.
To me, to my lovely Audrey Vanderhorst from Bouncin' Hill.
Yeah, he actually sent a picture of Audrey.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, man.
How come I didn't get the picture?
You can't be trusted.
You can't be trusted.
It's Sir Black Knight, George.
So, Sir George.
And that'll be it for this show.
And we hope that everyone else picks up the slack because we're going to be broadcasting on Easter.
We'd like to get some more donors to the 300 Club, that's for sure.
Also, anybody who wants to do one of these subscriptions is a good thing.
That helps quite a bit.
Dvorak.org slash AnnieNoAgendaShow.com Also, noagendanation.com slash donate or slash NA and also channeldvorak.com slash NA are different sites you can go to to help us out.
We appreciate every dollar and every nickel and every three dollars.
Every once in a while somebody sends in some...
Yeah, it's the $3, it's the $5 a month, the $11 a month.
Everything is great.
Remember that we have the 300 Club, the big show, coming up.
You get double credit for that, and we're highly appreciative because we don't run any commercials.
Therefore, A, we're not interrupted except by each other when we're bored, and B, we can talk about whatever we want to talk about.
Just imagine the things we could not talk about.
And by the way, if you see on television, if you see a commercial for like GE or Boeing, That's not to sell anyone a product.
That is a payoff for that station to go along with their agenda.
Have you ever wondered why you're watching, or even our national treasure?
When you hear like at Boeing, we're doing great things.
GE, we bring good things to life.
This is not to make you go out and buy a GE light bulb or only fly on a jet with a GE engine.
It's a payoff.
It's a payoff to the corporate media.
And you've got to realize that.
It's part of the corrupt system.
Thank you.
Our system is not so corrupt.
Dvorak.org slash NA We just program that stuff into your brain.
That's all.
It's your birthday, birthday.
I don't know what you're doing.
There you go.
As promised, sing along.
And I've got a closer for the jingle, too.
So Dara and Stuart Gold wish Dad Robert Gold a very happy birthday.
He turned 61 on April 23rd.
Happy birthday from John, from Eric the Shill, from Miss Mickey, from Miss Mimi, and everybody here, all your friends at No Agenda, where we sing along with the jingles.
It's your birthday!
That was pretty tight.
Yeah, it wasn't bad.
It was good.
We're very professional.
So I saw you got the same clips I did, and I think we should talk about Lucy Napolitano, about the new alert system.
It looks like you've split it up nicely into multiple clips, so I'd like to hand the floor over to you.
Well, a couple of things.
First of all, I want to do the backstory where I got even into this.
My wife is just completely incensed.
Because of a couple of stories that ran in the bigger newspapers about how Lucy wants people to use Facebook and Twitter to receive the alerts.
Yeah, of course.
Because that can be trusted.
Well, Facebook, of course, because apparently there's going to be some deal.
I guess when Obama gets out of office, he'll be probably...
Here's a prediction.
Write it down in the book.
Yeah.
When Obama is no longer president, he will be a board member at Facebook.
Oh, absolutely.
If the company still exists.
Which is a good question.
Yeah, it is.
But that's the lineup.
He's going to be a director or a board member at Facebook.
Yeah.
So, okay, I have...
It's tit for tat.
I have the one.
This is Lucy Napolitano.
She shows up on O'Reilly, which I thought was interesting.
And so she gets grilled about something.
And this is where she's, instead of answering it, saying anything, she starts giving her bio.
And by the way, she always prefaces it with, look, which she likes to do.
Which clip is this going to be?
This is how great she is clip.
Oh, hold on a second.
I'm sorry.
I actually queued up my clip by mistake.
Here we go.
We have been burglarized twice.
Ranchers in the border area cannot leave their houses unguarded for a few hours since their homes are likely to be broken.
This is not Lucy.
This is the preface to O'Reilly asking Lucy a hard question.
If someone is not there, we live with weapons near our bed.
Joining us now from Washington, Homeland Security Chief Janet Napolitano.
So you're a former governor of Arizona.
I'm sure you feel this guy's pain.
So what do you say to him?
Well, I say, look.
I say, look.
I'm not only the former governor of Arizona, I'm the former attorney general of Arizona.
And I'm also a lawyer on TV. And U.S. attorney for Arizona.
So I know this border very, very well.
And there has never been more resources at the Arizona border to protect it than ever before.
And more is on its way.
Did I lose you, John?
Yeah, that's weird.
You know, you don't want to mess with Janet.
That's one thing that's for sure.
That's quite annoying.
We're still streaming.
I don't know.
I think John's connection is wonky today.
So let's see if we can get him back on in a second.
That we were dropped.
Well, you know why?
Why?
You don't mess with Lucy, dude.
46 minutes.
We were dropped the first time.
How many times, how long were we on before we dropped this time?
46 minutes.
46 minutes, yeah.
You're right, I'm looking at the call log.
You're on a timer.
I'm not on a timer.
Well, maybe I'm on a timer.
Maybe you are.
It's that new Skype interface which rocks so hard.
Yeah, they've been on for 46 minutes.
Kill it!
All right.
Next.
Okay, so Lucy goes on.
She tries to answer.
This is an example of her answering the question.
I do have one clip for the non-color scheme thing, but you probably have a different one.
But let's play the hedges clip.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I had the non-color.
Here we go.
We're winning this war against the Mexican intrusion of narcotics and human trafficking.
We're winning it.
So you just hold on a little bit down there, keep your shotgun handy, but things are going to get better.
Is that what you're going to tell them?
What I would say is not only are we putting more into that border, but that more is on its way, and we are very committed to a safe and secure border for a lot of reasons.
Yeah, more is on its way, don't you worry.
She won't answer the question.
Of course not.
Of course not.
By the way, if you notice that winning the future has been dropped, that slogan didn't go anywhere.
They stopped using that everywhere.
You noticed that?
No, I didn't notice it, but it doesn't surprise me.
So I actually got the announcement of the new terror alert codes, and you must take a look at this video, which will be linked in the show notes, of course, probably under Shut Up Slave.
Actually, like we're school children, she's got this big easel, and she's pointing out, this is how it's going to work, children.
This is how it's going to work.
When you hear something, this is what you do, and this is how we're going to arrange it, and I'm in charge of everything.
We are.
We are instituting the National Terrorism Advisory System.
And what this system does is it will provide alerts based on specific credible information about potential terrorist activity.
And the alerts will be in the format right here.
They will give you a summary.
They will give you as many details as we can provide in an unclassified form.
Anything that's unclassified.
Which means nothing.
We get no details.
You don't need to know anything.
We're going to give you information.
They will say how you can help, what you need to do to stay prepared, what you need to do to stay informed.
Accompanying the alerts will be an entire communication strategy which involves conventional media as well as the new social media.
Yeah, the new social media.
You know, the Facebooks and the Twitters.
And a new website page.
Whoa!
Oh, they've got a new website page, John.
Eight million bucks down the drain.
New website page.
DHS.gov slash alert.
Why not just like alerts.gov, you know?
It's like stupid.
Yeah, why not alerts.gov?
Because it's branding.
They own the.gov domain.
They can make anything up that they want.
No, because it's branding.
It's like part of DHS. It's branding for us.
It's all for us.
Branding.
DHS.gov slash alert, which will be continually updated so that people can find out new information.
Yeah, you just have to hit refresh all the time.
She neglects to tell you that.
Hit refresh.
Say goodbye to Orange.
Say goodbye to Orange!
The perpetual Orange that we've been in for the last 10 years that has never changed.
At the Oakland Airport, they actually made a permanent poster that was Orange.
I say goodbye to Orange!
...next week, and in its place, will be something that provides the citizenry of this country.
Citizenry.
Citizenry.
What is citizenry?
I don't know.
That's a bullcrap word.
Citizenry.
How about the people, the folks?
Citizenry?
Really, Janet?
Lucy?
With more information that they can use in the event of a specific credible threat or terrorist attack.
The alerts will expire of their own in two weeks unless the intelligence community recommends to the secretary.
That would be me.
That would be me.
I'm in charge here.
Hello.
Step back.
Unless the intelligence community comes to me, Lucy, me, me, that's me.
Did you know that I'm the secretary?
That's horrible.
She's a horrible woman.
And I agree that the alert...
And by the way, what is that green jacket she's wearing?
That's an outrageously hideous piece of clothing.
Because that's the same jacket she was wearing on O'Reilly.
It's her new thing.
It's like someone said, you know, your eyes really pop when you're wearing that.
It needs to be continued.
This is to avoid the problem of cascading alerts where they simply keep adding one on to the other, to the other, to the other.
And people don't know, well, really, what is the current one?
What do I need to be paying attention to?
Right.
So, and I'm taking this somewhere, John.
These are not just random clips.
Because then she shows up on Morning Joe.
Because, you know, she's got to propagate the message here.
Shows up on Morning Joe, which is a completely 100% compromised Gitmo Nation, New World Order, shill show.
And...
And they start questioning her about the pat-down of the six-year-old.
And, of course, the solution is what she's there to bring.
The solution so we can stop with these horrible, horrible...
Of course, protocol was followed and was all done.
And we've all seen the video.
What protocol is that to feel up a six-year-old girl?
What kind of protocol is that?
Yeah, it's Lucy's protocol for sure.
Balancing security with personal freedom.
I mean, nobody likes to see this little girl being patted down, although it was done in a perfection.
Felt up.
Just say what it is.
Not patted down, felt up.
And you see old ladies in wheelchairs being patted down.
We still have to take off our shoes all these years later.
How much do you think about and talk about balancing freedom with security?
Well, nobody likes to see those kinds of things.
I beg to differ.
I have a feeling you might like to see that.
Even though it was done professionally and according to the protocols.
What?
Yeah, even though it was done professionally and according to the protocols.
What, to feel up a six-year-old?
Yeah, professionally and according to the protocols.
We've all seen the video, people.
That had nothing to do with professionally or protocol.
That was Gitmo Nation plus, plus, plus.
That was horrible, disgusting.
Nobody would call her out.
She's sitting right there.
There's your opportunity.
Oh, no, oh, no.
It gets worse.
What PSA is doing is re-examining those protocols all the time.
And it's all in relation to threat.
What is the threat?
Oh, the threat from a six-year-old!
Oh, that little six-year-old's going to kill us all!
That's right.
You've got to keep an eye on those damn six-year-olds.
They're a threat.
If you categorically remove a group from any type of screening, well, those who seek to do us harm then exploit that group.
That's right.
They're going to exploit the little girl!
Now listen, because the big lies are about to hit you.
So you have to be very careful on how you do it.
And by the way, remind Americans why we now check our liquids.
Let's remind Americans.
What?
This guy asks a leading question about the stupidest thing ever, which was the eavesdropping on a conversation between two Arab boneheads who talked about liquid bombs.
They didn't know crap about anything, and now we can't bring any water on the plane.
I'm sorry, John.
You're wrong.
That is not the reason why.
You are wrong.
The real reason is about to be revealed.
It's because a mother was taking her baby on a plane in Britain and was willing to blow up the baby and the entire plane.
What?
When did this happen?
What are they changing history on?
I've never watched this show.
This show is terrible.
These people should be ashamed of themselves.
And the other guy goes, that's right.
That's right.
That's right?
That's right.
We all know when this happened.
It was with the liquid bomb jerk-offs who were in London talking about building a liquid bomb, and the next thing you know, they're checking liquids.
When does this story crop up?
Except for one, we're all acquitted.
Oh yeah, because it was bullcrap.
But when did this story crop up and now become the litany?
When did this thing become the canonical story as to why we go into liquids and throw away the water bottles?
It makes you kind of angry, doesn't it?
Angry?
It's ridiculous.
These people should, this morning Joe guy, this whole group, should be ashamed of themselves.
How do they sleep at night with this out and out lying to the public?
Who does this show?
Who produces Morning Joe?
I don't know, but it's the former congressman, I think.
Scarborough, what's his name?
Dan.
Dan Scarborough.
MSNBC, oh, what am I thinking?
MSNBC, the great objective...
Oh, man, that's disgusting.
It gets better.
Oh, it can't.
Yeah, it gets better.
By the way, how they sleep at night is, you know, someone turns the switch off in the Pentagon.
And they just fall asleep.
It's very simple.
Blow up the baby and the entire plane with the liquids.
And she says it too.
That's right.
That's right.
So you're exactly right.
When we say we're not going to screen six-year-old, seven-year-old kids, and I'm not for it.
Nobody's for it.
But then suddenly, for some crazed parent, You crazed parent.
Now it's parents who are crazy.
Crazy parents.
Crazed parents.
Unless, of course, you got your kid on a leash, then everything's all under control.
Then open up a weakness in the system.
So here's a couple of things that we're working on.
Okay, now here's a couple of things that we're working on.
And this is a solution to Abraham.
Number one is expanding trusted traveler programs.
Oh, what does that sound like to you, John?
Trusted traveler programs.
What does that sound like?
Well, it sounds like one way of collecting more money, for one thing, because it's going to cost you to join the trusted tribe.
No, no, no.
It's the mark of the beast, man.
Here it comes.
Programs where people will get biometric cards.
Ah, biometric cards.
This is what I've always wanted.
I'm Lucy.
I'm going to give you a biometric card.
Do we have to have a tattoo?
Yes, inside your lip.
Anyway, so that goes on and that just makes you want to puke.
But something interesting happened.
I was watching C-SPAN. And for those of you who are new to the program...
It's what we do so you don't have to.
C-SPAN.
Two and a half hours of testimony about the TSA who are requesting a billion dollars, a billion dollars for new stuff.
The crazy thing is that there's a two and a half hour congressional hearing, and I'm going to play a clip from Representative Brown from Georgia, who is kind of a bumbling bonehead.
But I want to keep a surprise about who was there to testify and what they said and what actually happened, and he's not pleased with it either.
Today the subcommittee meets to evaluate TSA's SPOT program.
Yeah, it's the SPOT program where they have all these multiple layers and scientifically they can prove by your behavior that you're evil.
For instance, you might be carrying a baby with a bottle, then you're a suspect because you're probably going to blow the kid up because you're a crazed parent.
In the wake of September 11, 2001, it was deployed on a limited basis in a select number of airports in 2003.
In 2007, TSA created New Behavioral Detection Officer, or BE, By the way, I love that.
3,000 in 161 airports?
How many of these guys are there per airport?
Sounds like a lot.
Like 20?
At the cost of over $200 million a year.
Yay!
The President's fiscal year 12 budget request asks for an increase of 9.5% and an additional 175 BDOs.
Over the next five years, the SPOT program will cost roughly $1.2 billion.
Yay!
Outside of a few brief exchanges at Appropriations Committee hearings, Congress has not evaluated this program.
So that's interesting.
They have not evaluated the program.
Now remember, John, you had that clip where essentially the congressman couldn't talk about the confidential report because the stuff doesn't work, and he was trying to let everyone know, which of course CNN and Fox and MSNBC and everyone pulled up immediately and made headline news.
Oh, I'm sorry, they didn't.
That isn't to say that Congress wasn't paying attention.
GAO conducted a comprehensive review that culminated in a report on the SPOT program last May.
In that report, GAO identified several problems with the program, most notably that it was deployed without being scientifically validated.
This is a common theme that this committee is increasingly forced to deal with.
Expensive programs are rolled out without conducting the necessary analysis.
This has become a trend throughout the federal government, but particularly at the Department of Homeland Security.
Okay, so basically he's attacking Department of Homeland Security.
This committee has a long history with the development and acquisition of the Advanced Spectroscopic Portal Program, but other technology programs such as Backscatter Advanced Imaging Technology, Explosive Trace Detection Portal Machines, and the Cargo Advanced Automated Radiography System all ran into problems because they were rolled out before they were ready.
Well, isn't that interesting?
Where did you hear about this?
Was this on the news, John?
Was it on Morning Joe?
Morning Joe?
Now, of course you'd expect the TSA to come to this congressional hearing and to defend themselves against this accusation.
The accusation that the puffer machines that cost millions of dollars were all taken out.
Hundreds of millions of dollars.
Hundreds of millions of dollars for the puffer machine that didn't work.
The backscatter machine that doesn't work.
Yeah, portal machines.
That's what they said in the congressional testimony.
Doesn't work and may be dangerous.
DHS either fails to properly test and evaluate the technology.
And it's from a GAO report.
This is a real report.
This is not John and Adam just saying, doesn't work.
Does not conduct a proper risk analysis or neglects to conduct a cost-benefit analysis.
Yeah, like the basic things the government is supposed to do.
Not to give you a blank check.
Yeah, that's all they want.
But I think they should come and defend.
The fact that it is oftentimes taken for granted by DHS is the nexus between those developing the technology and those actually using it.
In the case of Spot, it seems as though the operators got out ahead of the developers.
But typically what we see is the opposite.
The scientists and engineers developing capabilities that do not appropriately fit into an operational environment.
Unfortunately, this is an issue that the committee is unable to address today because of TSA's refusal to attend.
They just said we're not going to come.
I was waiting for this because when I had the clip from the guy showing that he wasn't going to vote for the budget for the TSA because this gear doesn't work under the secret GAA classified report, which says it doesn't work, he said, will you come back for more testimony?
It was like they were wrapping it up.
Oh, yeah, we'll be back.
No problem.
So apparently they decided, somebody said, hey, you guys are getting reamed by these guys.
Tell them to screw themselves.
Tell Congress to stuff it.
We're not showing up.
The goal of this hearing is to shed light on the processes by which DHS created the SPOT program to better understand the state of the science that forms the foundation of the program, to examine the methodologies by which DHS, S&T, is evaluating the program, And to identify any opportunities to improve how behavioral sciences are utilized in the security context.
Hey, that sounds like a shitty meeting.
Let's not go.
And they didn't go.
So literally, there's two and a half hours of questioning, and they have a spot open with a little sign that says TSA, you know, the little name placard, and no name because, of course, there's no one there.
So these congressmen, which have all this data, instead of being the wimps that they apparently are, both parties, why don't they do a contempt of Congress accusation?
You can file against these people.
You can actually...
You can subpoena them.
There's all kinds of powers that Congress has that they're afraid to use because they haven't got the nerve to do anything.
That's right.
Or they know what's going to happen.
They're going to get killed.
This has become the secret police.
No, they're not going to get on an airplane ever again.
That's right.
That's what happened to Ted Kennedy.
Of all the people in the world, the recognizable guy Ted Kennedy said something bad about what was going on during the Bush administration.
Next thing you know, he's on the no-fly list.
Excuse me.
Mm-hmm.
But meanwhile, Morning Joe, they're all for all this stuff.
Yeah, it's great.
It's good.
Morning Joe, we're rocking and rolling.
We have a new scenario, a woman that's going to kill her baby with a bottle of liquid explosives?
Okay, we'll use that.
A crazed parent, John.
Crazed parent.
Crazy.
And we all know that's why we have to do that, because it was a crazed parent who had no qualms about blowing up her baby with formula in the bottle.
That's right.
Explosive formula.
That's right.
Say it.
That's right.
Alright, well we're doomed on that.
If Congress can't do anything, we're not going to do anything, that's for sure.
The whole thing, it's already a lost cause.
They're going to make up stories as they go along.
They don't care about the public.
And they're going to be feeling up little six-year-olds.
And unless the local governments in the various states pass some laws that make this illegal, they're just going to be a bunch of pedophiles.
Let's face it.
Yeah.
Precisely.
And now, back to Real News.
This just in, everybody.
Charles Manson is crazy.
That's all the news for today.
And you know, the joke of the Charles Manson story, of course, is he's come out against, you know, he's a big, apparently a warmist.
Yeah, he says that we're going to die of global warming.
Yeah, he's the expert.
Yeah, that's great.
I got a couple of good news.
But then he also says Obama is a robot, which is kind of funny.
Well, it's a possibility.
Yeah.
So, that's what that thing in the back of his head is, maybe.
So, I have a couple of funny, weird stories.
Yeah, good.
One of them is like, I'm now going to have to rethink my, you know, the old air traffic controller stories that all came out at once.
Can I just tell you what that's about?
Do you want my take on that?
Well, no, I want you to incorporate the clip I want to play.
Okay, good, good, good, good.
With that, and see if you can figure it out.
This is the sleeping story with a twist.
Yeah, I've been wanting to talk about this.
A disturbing story from a couple of years ago is making news now.
An Amber Alert in Washington State was delayed for about six hours because the police officer responsible for issuing the alert fell asleep.
Now, according to recently filed court documents, on July 5th of 2007, a detective called the Tacoma police spokesman at 4 a.m.
to issue an alert for an abducted 12-year-old girl, but he had taken Sleeping medication before going to bed and fell asleep before sending out the alert which ended up being delayed for about 12 hours.
The girl was found dead a couple of days later.
The family is now suing the city for wrongful death.
Hmm, okay.
That throws a little curveball at me.
Well, it did to me, too, because it's like another anti...
You know, the sleeping on the jobs theme.
So I think that's just a minor distraction of news piling on.
Because I believe that when it comes to the...
The air traffic controllers, there's something different happening, and I'm going to spend some time before Sunday's show trying to figure out who the PR agency is, because these are all PR jobs.
And what has been going on for a while in aviation, and this is part of the military-industrial complex, is they've been wanting to implement the next generation of navigation.
And the next generation is essentially where everything's controlled by a computer and you really don't need these air traffic controllers, which, by the way, is a lie.
Because air traffic control, and there's always a healthy kind of friction between pilots and air traffic controllers, because pilots don't, you know, hey, let me just swing around or bring it in this way.
And these people do...
Right, a computer can't do that.
No, and these people keep you alive.
And they keep everybody alive.
And like everything, you know, stuff goes wrong.
You know, people mess up and stuff happens.
They are overworked.
You know, they get this like nine-hour break between shifts, but of course that starts the minute you leave the door.
And by the way, air traffic controllers are not allowed to sleep in their car.
So if you leave and you're like, oh, I just want to catch an hour in the parking lot, they can get fined for that.
So they have to actually drive home.
So you're going to have an hour drive home.
You've got to talk to the kids, talk to the wife, have a shower.
So you still sleep in six hours before you've got to be back on the job.
So it's a challenging job.
They have been trying to implement this multi-billion dollar system for years, and this is the play.
Like, we can't trust the humans.
And I'm not quite sure who makes the system.
It's probably Raytheon or something like that.
And I think that this sleeping on the job thing is just a pylon.
I'll look into it.
Yeah, either that or it's part of the narcolepsy meme.
Maybe the guy got the flu shot.
Well, I noticed that I'm starting to see this kind of thing.
I have another kind of offbeat real news things here.
Let's do this then.
And now, back to real news.
We've got to get back to it.
Back to the real news.
Extra.
Actually, there was the kind of...
Well, let me play.
This is the weirdest story.
For one thing, I don't imagine how the woman felt.
There was some sexual assaults going on in Oakland, and then they give this report.
This weird sexual assault story.
And it's like, it's kind of humiliating to the woman, but at the same time, it was a crime committed.
And I have nothing but mixed feelings about it.
But at the same time, I thought it was one of the weirdest stories ever reported.
Classic stuff you hear at the early 6 o'clock in the morning news.
Yesterday afternoon, investigators say a man followed a woman from a neighborhood store all the way into the gates of her home.
Then he ordered her to take off her clothes, but he ran away.
Police only have a vague description of the attacker.
Still not clear if that incident is connected to a series of sexual assaults near Lake Merritt earlier this year.
What is a sexual assault, though, in this case?
Well, I don't know what it is, but the fact is he has her strip and then he says, I'm not interested, and runs.
I mean, I just thought this was, it was the weirdest, it's like, okay.
It's all weird.
Did she have three breasts?
I mean, little details wouldn't have hurt.
That's very weird.
I thought it was very weird.
The other one, as I was watching this morning, this is 6 in the morning stuff again, and there was this crazy report.
This guy's doing the traffic report.
This is mainstream media.
I'm thinking, why are they paying somebody for this road traffic report?
And why are they paying somebody for this kind of insight?
Apparently somebody would play it, and you'll see what I'm talking about.
Alright, thank you very much.
Right now, traffic is busy in many areas.
I've got a couple of tweets saying, why is 101 so slow?
I'll explain that in just a second.
I've got a couple of tweets saying, why is 101 out of San Jose so slow?
Well, the answer is, we had earlier problems getting into the valley.
And there it is, 101, pretty slow.
You see all those road sensors turning red?
You know, it's funny because Mickey and I will watch the KTLA morning news as we have our breakfast and they show that map and it's got arrows and circles and dots and moving things and she's a real map reader and she's like, I don't understand anything.
I said, me neither.
I don't get it.
It's just like pretty colors just to keep you distracted.
And if somebody says, why is the traffic so slow?
You say, well, there were earlier problems.
What were they?
Duh!
There are obviously problems because there were problems.
What problems?
You think there was a problem?
So they're paying this guy a salary to give this kind of report?
What are all your problems?
I was very annoyed by that.
I got something that is a follow on from our last show and this is about high fructose corn syrup being equated to sugar.
So you remember that the New York Times, I think it was, propagated this report where they're saying sugar is bad, sugar will kill you, and there's no difference between high fructose corn syrup and sugar because it's sugar.
So I think you and I agree that this is basically...
This report is very much like the disclaimers on medication.
It's intended to get you to think about high fructose corn syrup as sugar and just say, shrug it off saying, eh, you know, it's sugar.
It's going to kill me, but I like it.
It's sugar.
And just forget the fact that sugar is not the same as high fructose corn syrup.
Is that a fair assessment?
Well, that and the fact that I believe it's part of a plan to slowly relabel high fructose corn syrup into the word sugar.
Because they've already moved to corn sugar to describe this stuff.
Well, we're about to make the final move.
This is Max Reed, I think.
Here is the scientist explaining to us that it is sugar.
He is leading the charge for the relabeling of high fructose corn syrup as sugar.
And what he says is outrageous.
The same.
And here's sucrose, and they're just bound together by this ether linkage.
We have this enzyme in our gut called sucrase.
It kills that bond in two seconds flat, and you absorb it.
And basically...
High fructose corn syrup sucrose, it's a non-issue.
It's a wash.
They're the same.
And they know that they're the same.
The soft drink companies and the corn refiners.
Because here are their misses.
This comes from the Corn Refiners Association.
Obesity research shows high fructose corn syrup metabolizes and impacts satiety similar to sugar.
Indeed it does.
I agree.
Decent academic meetings around the country.
Hunger and satiety profiles, energy intakes following ingestion of soft drinks.
Bottom line, research supported by the American Beverage Institute and the Corn Refiners Association.
They are correct.
There is absolutely no difference between high fructose corn syrup and sucrose.
So much so that the Corn Refining Association, in an attempt to capture market share, came out with this entire ad campaign.
You probably saw it on the back page of the New York Times.
It was on TV. It's everywhere.
My hairdresser says that sugar is healthier than high fructose corn syrup.
Wow, you get your hair done by a doctor?
I didn't know I could cut hair.
Oh, mock everybody that doesn't agree.
He's an asshole.
There are a whole bunch of them.
You can go to www.sweetsurprise.com and see how you're being hoodwinked.
But indeed, this is true.
High fructose, corn syrup, and sucrose are exactly the same.
Whoa!
Whoa!
And this is happening at decent meetings all around the country with real scientists.
This is the PR people.
Silence!
They're exactly the same.
Is that why you can't use high fructose corn syrup when you're making chocolate?
Because the chocolate will never harden?
Because they're exactly the same?
Is that right?
I didn't realize that.
That's interesting because it seems to me the chocolate would harden if they were exactly the same.
They're exactly the same.
The other thing is, why would you...
Demean the hairdresser.
Now she's suddenly a doctor.
A doctor isn't a chemist.
He doesn't know the bond issues with high fructose corn syrup or how it's manufactured.
The doctor's no expert on the subject.
So what difference does it make if she's a doctor or not anyway?
This is ridiculous.
This guy is a paid shill who should be ashamed of himself.
It's a part of evidence-based communications.
This is exactly what it is.
They pay for this research.
He goes in this whole thing and shows all the little molecules and stuff and says it's exactly the same.
This is a reverse PR mission that gets everyone to think, because no one's going to give up sugar.
How is it a reverse PR mission?
It looks like a straightforward PR mission.
No, because he's saying high fructose corn syrup will kill you just as fast as sugar.
I don't think it's a reverse anything.
I think that's just the methodology they're using.
That's the message.
They're trying to consolidate.
In people's minds, they're trying to make the two things into the same, which is a straightforward PR process.
It's not like they're trying to do anything.
That's essentially what I mean.
By using a negative, they're implanting the true message into your brain.
That's a little more fair.
I'm surprised.
I don't even think it's the negative thing that they're trying to do.
I think they're just trying...
They're pushing the same agenda that the PR people have done with the corn guys.
Yeah.
They're looking for more ways to make...
Corn holes.
Corn holes.
They've decided that they've got to get this stuff into the market because they're getting huge government subsidies to grow the corn.
They make this pure profit item.
It's made in a refinery.
The stuff is probably...
I mean, every time a bad study comes out, they shout it down.
This is kind of very much like the warmest, shouting down.
Anyone who says anything negative about global warming, this doesn't look right.
This chart is bogus.
These numbers don't add up.
Oh, no!
You're the worst person in the world!
You know, so they have the same thing going on.
It's just ridiculous.
Yeah.
I have one more funny clip, which is an actual journalist doing his job.
Now, you know what?
I'm going to do that as an end-of-show clip, because it's hilarious.
It's state spokesperson Mark Toner, who is trying to explain why he can't talk about the reason that a United Nations...
This envoy cannot speak to Bradley Manning.
This is the guy who supposedly leaked the information to WikiLeaks.
Yet, at the same time, he's saying, you know, we're part of the most transparent government in history, but I can't tell you why he can't see them.
And the reporter is relentless.
You want that as an end-of-show clip?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That would be a good one to finish with.
I got nothing.
You've had nothing all day, honey.
I had great stuff.
I got the Obama going on about the clutch car.
Come on.
Come on.
The clutch car rocks.
In fact, I might open the show with that so everyone can just be in bouts of laughter.
Do they still use such a thing as necessary?
The clutch car?
Do they exist?
The clutch car, everybody.
And the Saab is not far off from being a clutch car, actually.
I'll be honest about that.
Is that a stick?
It's a stick, isn't it?
No, it's automatique.
But barely.
Coming up, we have Mr.
Oil with Oil's Crude Show on the stream, noagendastream.com.
And I shall sound the alert!
The, uh, the special, uh, I gotta figure out how to do it.
The special, uh, bat signal for that show.
And, uh, I'm gonna go back to bed because I am feeling pretty crappy, but it was always good to speak with you, John, and to, uh, go tete-a-tete.
As it were.
Coming to you from Gitmo Nation West, the People's Republic of Southern California.
My name is Adam Curry.
And from northern Silicon Valley, where the sun has popped out after little sprinkles last night, as though anyone cares about my weather report, I'm John C. Dvorak.
I care.
We'll talk to you again on Easter Sunday, right here on No Agenda.
Can you explain why, if the United States is proud of its human rights record, that the UN Special Rapporteur has complained that you're not allowing him independent access to Bradley that the UN Special Rapporteur has complained that you're not allowing We've been in contact with the UN Special Rapporteur.
We've had conversations with you in terms of access to...
I'm sorry.
We've had conversations with the Special Rapporteur.
We've discussed Bradley Manning's case with him.
But in terms of visits to PFC Manning, that's something for the Department of Defense.
And the ICRC with the same problem?
The State Department is the direct contact with the ICRC, at least it was, for the Guantanamo inmates.
Have you had any contact with them?
I'm not aware.
I don't know.
I'd have to look into that.
But, you know, in terms of the UN Special Rapporteur, we've had conversations with them.
We have ongoing conversations with them.
But in terms of access demanding, that's something for the Department of Defense.
What welcome scrutiny?
Where's the harm?
I said we're having conversations with him.
We're trying to work with him to meet his needs.
But I don't understand the question.
Well, you said you welcome scrutiny from outsiders of the United States human rights record.
I do.
I do feel that it speaks to the strength of the U.S. system.
So...
Why does it take very lengthy conversations to agree to let a UN Special Rapporteur have access to an inmate?
Well, again, for the specific visitation request, that's something that the Department of Defense would best answer.
But, look, we've been very clear that there's a legal process underway.
We've been forthright, I think, in talking about private...
PFC Manning's situation.
We are in conversations, ongoing conversations, with the Special Rapporteur.
We have nothing to hide.
But in terms of an actual visit to Manning, that's something that DOD would handle.
But you have conveyed messages from DOD back to the UN? Well, no.
We're aware of his requests.
We're working with him.
You said you've been forthright in your discussions of his treatment?
It seems to me that the only person who was forthright in discussions of his treatment resigned several days after making those comments.
Can you explain what you mean by you've been forthright in terms of his treatment?
He is being held in legal detention.
There's a legal process underway, so I'm not going to discuss...
In any more detail beyond what I just said, because there's a legal process underway.
So that's what you mean by forthright.
I can't discuss this treatment.
Being forthright is saying nothing because there's a legal process underway.
Is that correct?
That's not correct at all.
and we continue to talk to the special rapporteur about his case.
Well, okay, so what do you talk to him about?
He says, I'd like to visit him and I need to do it privately, and you say no.
I'm not going to talk about the substance of those conversations.
I don't understand how you can say that you're being forthright about it if you refuse to talk about it.
And if you don't talk about it, at least forget about what the actual conditions of this treatment are.
But if you're not prepared to talk about your conversations with the special rapporteur, That's being even less than not being forthright because you're not telling us what you told him.
But you understand the legal constraints that I'm operating under because this is an ongoing legal process.
I understand that you're put in a difficult position where you say that you're willing...
As Arshad noted, you don't understand why China is so upset because the U.S. is willing to open up its human rights situation to all kinds of scrutiny.
And then the first example that anyone raises...
And Matt, I would raise with you the fact that much of China's report came from open source, which is what an independent media does, and would note that that kind of independent media does serve a function, and there are details about...
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