"Anyone who murders Kamala Harris would be an American hero" (preview)
TODAY: We look at the newest and (rather dull) assassination attempt on Trump’s life—and switch gears immediately to focus on his far more interesting would-be assailant and the myriad of… passionate right wing responses to the latest re-hashed story beat in this election cycle. We look at potential shooter Ryan Routh’s incredible online presence, filled with disillusionment over Donald Trump and Tulsi Gabbard and his ideas about saving Ukraine with Elon Musk rockets and a star-studded charity song called “We Are One.” Are future assassination attempts going to get even more anticlimactic? Will disillusioned Trump fans keep trying to kill him? Are we seeing a rise in the militant swing voter? Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for $5/month and get a bonus episode every week See Minion Death Cult LIVE in Seattle on 10/18 w/Bryan Quinby doing commentary over an insane movie we have covered on this show but you have probably not seen And join Alex for an evening of Means TV comedy on 10/10 programmed by director Chris Bell featuring Anarcho-dad sketch comedy, maniacally bloody music videos, investigations of 16-bit communal spaces, stoner professor instruction on meme creation, and greasy weirdo talk shows Listen to Close Other Tabs w/Ani and Alex on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podcast Addict, or wherever you get podcasts
Ralph regularly wrote Ukraine-related posts on Twitter, tagging everyone from pop singer Elton John to former congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard with harebrained schemes such as teaming up with Sean Penn to buy a MiG-29 from Poland to carry out a strike on Russian President Vladimir Putin.
Sean Penn would fucking do it.
Sean Penn's a real one.
Yeah, he would have done it for sure.
He would have diverted some of that water money and been like, nah, we need to do this.
We need to supply this guy with some heavy artillery.
Sean Penn would tie Vladimir Putin to a chair and beat that bitch senseless.
Uh, I, the, the Elton John thing is fucking amazing because yeah, he, he tweeted at Elton John as well as Dave Matthews band to perform a song he wrote for Ukraine called, uh, we are one.
Um, yeah, at one point he called on Dave Matthews band to perform a song for Ukraine, writing to the band in December last year, quote, we need an emotional tribute song for Ukraine as support stalls.
I have lyrics and music to We Are One to rally global support.
Please help me.
I live near singer-songwriter Jack Johnson and am sure he would help.
We were riding waves together yesterday.
He's already got the ukulele cover written.
And by like live near Jack Johnson, I think he means like I live in Hawaii, and if you live in Hawaii, you kind of live near everyone who lives in Hawaii, right?
Even if they're on a different island, it's still really close.
Imagine being one of these celebrities and like your Google Alert goes off and you're being like somehow implicated in a presidential assassination attempt.
Jack Johnson's like, whoa, whoa, hold on.
I'm all about banana pancakes.
Yeah.
Wow.
Things are out of my things have really turned upside down.
Hey, again, who called?
Who called the Jack Johnson?
Come back earlier this year.
Your boy right here called the Jack Johnson.
Come back.
And I think this is I think I'm right.
What do you mean you call the Jack Johnson?
Come back.
What do you like?
Like he's going to trend on tick tock level.
Come back.
People are going to love Jack Johnson soon.
I don't, I think millennials love Jack.
Millennials, Xers, like that's shit.
I think Gen Z is going to discover it and they need it.
They need something chill.
They need something chill that's not about anything except for hanging out with your bros and your babe and just like catching chill waves.
They don't need Jack Johnson to come back.
They have Chet Hanks covering Nirvana on acoustic guitar.
See, that's too emotionally like that's too emotional.
There's too much going on in any Nirvana song.
You know, like Jack Johnson is somehow so chill and never even mentions weed.
Hmm.
It's going to happen, I promise.
It's part of the Y2K resurgence.
I don't know.
I don't know if that level of... He was always adult contemporary to me, at least.
He was never popular.
He was never that popular.
He's always been the same level of popular to me.
He was huge.
I remember I specifically remember being on a date when I was like 15 with a girl who was driving a Roxy Edition Toyota Echo.
And you bet your ass we were fucking slapping some Jack Jay.
Uh, was the Echo the, like, wagon type thing?
No, it was just, it was the white coupe.
The white little, the white little sedan.
Oh.
And it just had, like, a roxy swirl wave on the side.
And I believe the interior was made out of, like, wetsuit material.
That's fucking crazy.
Yeah, it's it's it's a forgotten timepiece.
I think it was.
I think one day we're going to find one of those on like bring bring a trailer and it's going to sell for so much money.
I've seen the rip curl one.
Now that you mentioned this, the seat made out of wetsuit material reminded me I've seen the rip curl edition of some.
Uh, you saw the Rip Curl edition of the Nissan Frontier.
That was always parking in front of my bakery that I just would lust over because it was so fucking sick.
That's the one.
I'd much rather have that than the Roxy edition toy.
Can you even get a surfboard in there?
Well, you can't.
It's not for you, bro.
This one's for the ladies.
Yeah.
And ladies love to ride four foot fish boards.
Yes, exactly.
They have to get slashy with it.
I'm just trying to imagine this song.
This We Are One liberal Ukraine song.
It's sad that we do have to imagine it and we can't just play it right now.
I wish we lived in a different timeline.
And it's like Elton John on piano.
Because he hit up Elton John to do this in addition to Dave Matthews.
But it's like a lib.
It's like a lib anti-Russia Ukraine song.
Uh, we are one.
Putin's little penis won't have fun when we blast those commies hotter than the sun.
Then like Dave Matthews scats for eight minutes about how much he likes eating Kamala's warm box.
He said, we're gonna wipe Russia from the back to the front.
Elton John's like, oh, this is weird.
Performing somebody else's lyrics?
I've never done this before.
I don't know if I can get in the right headspace for this.
I know some of you are Nazis, but I think you still have Moxie.
I'm friends with racist psychopaths.
There's something to do with jets you can do like... Ukrainian jets!
