Today we’re discussing Jingle Smells, a bizarre Christmas movie produced by Sean Hannity and the conservative American Center for Law and Justice (Trump lawyers). We follow Nick, a PTSD alcoholic veteran of Afghanistan who can’t compete with his handsome, rugged Police Chief father Dusty (John Schneider) When Dusty makes Nick get a job as a garbage collector, he begins stealing boxes of “cancelled” toys set for destruction by the Cancel Culture toy company CEO (Eric Roberts) Nick is able to foster a secret relationship with poor kids in the neighborhood by giving them each a toy in exchange for their silence, and Santa teaches us that breaking the law is okay if it feels good. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for $5/month and get instant access to hundreds of bonus episodes in your podcast app or browser
Nick takes one of the wrapped toys and leaves it at the kid.
Silas is the kid's name.
Leaves it at his door and and he finds it, right?
Is that's that's just how it happened.
I think I think I think that just happened or it's about to just happen.
But like, how did how does Silas know that he's the one who left it?
He sees him leaving or something?
No, he wrote he wrote from Jingle Jingle Smells.
He wrote Jingle Smells on it.
Right.
So he's like giving this kid gifts anonymously.
He has a secret name, a secret code name with this child that he's developing a relationship to.
With rather.
And then, yes, Silas does end up following Nick out of his neighborhood to thank him for the toy.
And then but Nick says, hey, we don't talk about this.
We don't talk about that out loud.
And I'm like, again, that's maybe the weirdest part about it.
And then he said, Silas says, OK, but why?
And then Nick says, because it's just between me and you and the big guy.
And I'm like, and I started laughing over what happened next because I was like, oh my, oh my God, it's just between me, you and God.
Yeah.
And if you've got a problem with that, I'll make sure you can take it up with him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is, this is maybe the scariest moment of the film.
So insane.
But, uh, no, right after this, uh, he says, and the big guy, Silas says the president.
And then Nick says, Oh God, no, don't go near him.
And so that's like a joke about Biden's sniffing Silas or whatever.
Yeah.
Wow.
Being a pedophile at least.
Yeah.
Totally crazy man.
Uh, befriending a child, giving him gifts, having a, having a secret relationship with them.
It really sounds like something and fricking pedophile like Joe Biden would do.
I was just, I was like, this is amazing.
And they, Ani was like, cause Ani watched this with me.
God bless her.
Ani was like, they got to address this later.
They got, they got to like put it, like hang a lantern on it or like, Reference that it's a bad idea to befriend an adult stranger and confide in, you know, confide in them and share, take, accept gifts from them and shit.
But no, he's like literally grooming this kid.
It's so fucking crazy.
Also like his mom, his mom sees the gift and the mom sees the gifts from, cause at first he's like, mom, you got me a gift.
And she's like, Oh no, I didn't.
And then he's from somebody else.
Like mom would, I would, if that happened to me, I'd be like, no, you need to tell me who this is.
I need to know who this is.
What the fuck is this?
Why do they know where we live, dude?
What's going on?
Well, they're arguing and she's like, no, Silas, I really didn't give you that gift.
And I'm like, that's right.
Like, get to the fucking sniff out jingle smells.
Get them out of here.
Also, their idea of poor people is so funny because like, yes, it absolutely happens.
It absolutely happens all the time to where like, you know, kids don't get any gifts.
Right.
But he's like, I get I get no gifts.
I get zero gifts.
He says he gets like socks for Christmas.
He gets socks.
But like as somebody who's like only had poor parents, like that's that's why they're poor is because they're still there.
They're going to get you one action figure and a CD.
Right.
Like like what?
But this whole neighborhood, no kids.
He's like, no, no, no one on my street.
Yeah.
Everyone on my street is very poor.
All all the kids on my street.
They're just so desperate for gifts.
And Nick is like, what are their addresses?
Yeah.
Tell me all that.
Well, he's like, well, it's my street.
Every kid on my, you know, he literally says like, give me like, give me their addresses.
He sends Silas back to recruit more kids.
I need all their addresses.
I need to go know exactly where to go.
Uh, he prefaces this.
I haven't looked at it.
I'm just remembering in my notes.
He says, all right, this might be the biggest secret you ever have to keep.
Yep, yep, yep.
And then he says he's working for Santa and he needs all... I'm working for Santa.
I need all of your addresses.
Because that's how this works.
You want Santa to visit your house, right?
You have to leave your door unlocked at night.
There's some creep watching this movie just taking notes.
