Why do we let Luddites run San Francisco, where the future is built (preview)
TODAY: Tony abandons veganism as a group of javelinas destroy a beautiful and not-at-all hubristic golf course in Arizona And an auto zone employee gaslights Tony about how to spell brakes ALSO: another one of Trump’s lawyers flips on him and his fans wonder “What is happening?” FINALLY: the California DMV revokes operating permissions from autonomous taxi fleet Cruise after the company allegedly withheld crash reports. We cover the San Fran-sickos lamenting the loss of the “innovative” unmanned vehicles. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for two bonus episodes a week
I just wanted to extend the heartfelt sympathy to Tony after seeing what those horrible javelina did to that beautiful desert golf course in Arizona.
Can you believe it, Tony?
I'm so sorry.
That was wild.
And what I will say is, yeah, they were right.
They're good.
We got shooters.
They were there for us.
That's a private golf course.
It's a private golf course, but I do not condone.
In the middle of Arizona desert?
In the middle of the desert.
I do not condone that either.
I like to play golf courses.
The thing is, I do like a golf course where there's some nature, where you get to see some animals.
So that would have been a cool thing to see in real life.
So, you know, yeah, yeah.
That's good.
That's good.
I'm happy they did that.
Do your colleagues at the Live Golf Tournament have any plans to eradicate this menace or prevent them from wreaking havoc on civilized society again?
See, the conflict here is that what they're trying to do is they're trying to get the javelina recategorized as a different species so that it's not a form of swine, because it is currently a form of swine.
So Live Golf can't really do much with that meat.
So they're trying to get it recategorized and they're petitioning a couple scientific boards to make that happen.
And once that happens, it's on and popping.
They're like, oh, we can't get rid of the pigs because of our religion.
Our religion forbids us to interact with the pig.
It's also just like a missed opportunity.
They can now sell these as curated javelina meat by Live Golf.
It would come to you in a subscription package.
They'll do a deal with Bespoke Post, and it'll just show up to men's houses.
I say you just let these golfers show their skill and try to take these bad boys out the old fashioned way with our white dimpled friend, the golf ball.
Yeah.
They make little golf balls that they explode upon impact.
I think we can maybe work with that to where maybe they'll explode upon impact of what it hits next.
So it'll be like one trigger, then the second trigger, and then it'll explode.
Double tap them.
Yeah.
Now, does that really exist or is that something you just made up right now?
No, the golf ball that explodes.
It's like a gag.
It's like you prank your friend.
Got it.
It literally has a bullet in it that doesn't have an actual.
It's just the shell.
Oh, that's cool.
And it just has that.
I've seen people do it, but I couldn't imagine me just letting somebody else take it.
Yeah, which way?
for me that I'm like, you see a little thing hanging out at the end of it.
I'm like, okay, let me just hit this.
And yeah, it sounds like a gunshot.
- Do I hit it on the side with the fuse or the other side?
- Yeah.
- Which way? - Yeah.
The tweet is from this account, MKC, who, yeah, shared video of just the totally destroyed golf course.
Like the image that I have that I'm showing Tony right now is like one of the lesser damaged areas of the golf course.
It just, it looks like, you know, just like big gophers, giant gophers took, took the whole fucking golf course apart.
Come along with me on my carnage parenthesis, I mean course check this morning.
What should be one of the most beautiful golf courses in the country is being destroyed by herds of javelina.
If anyone has a contact in AZ and Arizona state government that can help us find a solution, please pass it along.
They did that.
They literally passed a bill just in case 40 feral hogs come through your yard or Javelina come through your golf course.
You could have been open carrying here, but that's your fault.
This is... I don't know how else to say it.
This is a plague.
This is a righteous punishment from God for your hubris.
This monument to vanity you have in the Arizona desert is rightfully being returned to the natural creatures.
You know what's even more audacious?
The PGA is based out of Scottsdale.
Scottsdale, Arizona.
It has like one of the largest concentration of like professional golfers because they all just work out of there.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah.
That's where I'm retiring to.
Scottsdale is just like a giant parking lot, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's literally just the climate is just the air conditioning from inside.
You don't go outside.
That's what I don't get.
Like, how are they golfing?
When are they golfing?
Because it must only be For like three months out of the year.
Well, see, I'm looking at this image.
You could take some of that cool mud that the javelinas dug up and smear it all over your body to keep balance your temperature while you play golf.
Yeah, not only are you pouring just millions of gallons of water down the drain.
You're also apparently using every pesticide known to man on the entire course and it's still... Highway Katrina!
Still not working.
Reply to this, are these areas not treated for grubs?
because what happens is the Javelinas, they dig for grubs, and that's why they destroyed this area.
And Em, the original poster says, we sprayed the entire course in April and August with high-rate Tetrino, Aloft, and Aceloprin.
We haven't found any grubs in any of the damage, just earthworms.
We've discussed Seven, or some other Carbarrel spray for the next season as well.
So I love, I love, well, we've examined the area, and we found yet another life form we need to kill.
Yeah, yeah.
They're like, it's actually not even safe for you to be out on the course for very long.
That's why we really take care of pace of play.
It's really important to us.
It's about your health.
We want to make sure our visitors don't just get skin cancer.
They need to get every other kind of cancer as well.
Also Parkinson's.
I mean, it might eat into the old-timers putting game, but hey, in the short run, it works out pretty good.
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