So you want to take the based out of based dirt? (preview)
TODAY: We’re back, baby. It’s a short episode, but boy is it sweet We finally get Justice for Boebert as we find out her “theater date” was more likely a setup concocted by a secret Democrat agent. Is there nothing these people won’t do? Also: accusations of serious sex crimes drop against Russell Brand, and the right wing collectively decides he seems too upstanding for any of that Last but not least: The Ballad of Based Dirt hits a dissonant chord, as a moderator tries to meme the group into being anti-racist. It’s does not go well. Get two bonus episodes every week for only $5/month by signing up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult Check out our new merch here: http://miniondeathcult.com Order the Philly poster here: https://www.grimgrimgrim.com/products/well-there-s-your-problem-minion-death-cult-the-antifada-gig-poster
The liberals are destroying California and conservative humor gone awry.
Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-fornia today.
So stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're at in the local, western deserts, all there in Barton, Houston.
Stay tuned.
Alright, I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we're Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
An undercover Democrat doing sabotage through public sex acts is responsible.
And we're documenting it.
I knew those were the moves of a Democrat.
Wow.
I just want to issue an apology to Lauren Boebert.
I made some comments that kind of made light of you on our previous episode, you know, referencing you having your your orbs pondered in the movie theater.
Turns out Lauren Boebert was set up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, that makes sense.
That makes sense.
You know, you know how convincing and charming and Devon air those Democrats can be.
Absolutely.
That's why they're in bed with Hollywood is so that they can trick naive and salt of the earth conservatives.
That makes so much sense.
I have here a tweet from Liz Crokin who cracked this case.
It turns out Lauren Boebert's mystery man is a Democrat bar owner.
See, I didn't know this.
Did you know this?
Do they?
I mean, no, I had no idea.
Is it?
It's probably one of those bars.
Does it have like a rainbow in the window?
Is that how they announced the Democrat?
I read somewhere there was a non-homophobic bar.
I read somewhere that the bar was not being homophobic, so... If you're dating a bar owner, folks, you gotta go in and look at that tap list.
You gotta check the fridge.
You gotta make sure there's no fucking trans beers in there.
I don't know how many times to tell you.
This is what happens.
You get fingered at Beetlejuice, and then they try to cancel you.
Yeah, and you could have avoided that if you went and looked and realized that he does, in fact, carry Black Girl Magic Rosé.
This is a real theory.
This is a genuine theory.
I mean, it's a crank theory, but it's a good one.
I believe it.
I want to believe it.
I mean, it gives me faith in the Democratic Party, actually.
This is the type of real politic that they, uh, they normally are too afraid to engage in.
Um, okay.
Liz Crokan continues.
She's coming off of a divorce and she's vulnerable.
This guy comes into her life, charms her, seduces her, and then probably gets her liquored up and takes her out in public.
Stage set.
Wow.
So he not only, wow, he, he, he's a sex pest.
He's a date.
He did date rape to her.
That's really fucked up.
I mean like, what if she didn't even know she was going to Beetlejuice?
I care now about date rape!
Yeah, now I care.
It's one of the biggest problems facing us today.
She didn't consent to theater.
Democrat men are scum.
Democrat men are trash.
I love to read stories about fictional characters like wizards and good Democrat men.
He then instigated.
He then instigates her by fondling her in a theater that just happened.
He groomed her!
He groomed her into jerking him off, Tony!
That's messed up.
She didn't even know she wanted, she didn't even know she wanted to do that.
She didn't want to do that.
She was hypnotized by the boob grabbing.
You know, and it's, it's like, yes, she's an adult woman.
Yes, she's 55 years old.
But she's from a part of the world where you could try you used to be able to trust people.
Yes, Colorado.
I'm talking about Colorado.
Back back when when people's word meant something.
And so, yeah, she's going to get taken advantage of and in some cases groomed.
It's messed up.
It's messed up.
Back in my day, you should be able to just get your boobs grabbed.
And that's all you had to worry about.
You weren't going to be drinking someone off in, you know, in the theater the next minute.
But the way these Democrats work now, you just never know.
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