We're officially back from vacation and I swear we'll stop talking about it soon, but we had a lot of fun thanks to you guys and we're excited to do it again soon. Our two main stories today both concern food and the uniquely American derangement surrounding it: First, we have a white asshole destroying an alleged immigrant's fruit stand on camera, and we look at the members of the right wing openly supporting this kind of direct action. Second, a free/cheap cheeseburger day triggers a wave of conspiracy theories, from lab-grown meat to COVID poisoning. We explore the belief system that would get Americans to stop eating Burger for even one day. Buy the shirt: http://miniondeathcult.com Get 20% off merch and 2 bonus episodes a week by signing up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult Music: Bear Vs Shark - Campfire
The liberals are destroying California and conservative humor gone awry.
Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-phonia today.
So stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned, guys.
We'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're in the storm.
It's all there in Martin, Houston.
Stay tuned.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Fresh local produce, conveniently located near you, is responsible.
And we're documenting it.
Hello!
What is up everybody?
We are back from vacation.
We're back from the East Coast.
We had one week out there.
New York, Philly.
Did a couple shows.
Hung out with a lot of bros.
Just a couple shows.
Just a few bros.
Just a little bit.
It was awesome.
It was awesome.
It was the best time ever.
It sucks that we just got back from vacation and unfortunately my mom couldn't be a guest on our local produce episode because she's now on vacation.
So good for her, but also like, I guess she's just not down like we thought she was.
Don't people who work in produce and that field, don't they get enough time off?
Exactly.
That's what I'm telling.
I'm like, you're mostly standing around at work anyways.
No, happy to be back.
This is our first official episode back.
Thank you for your patience with the irregular schedule.
But we did release some goodies on the Patreon feed for, you know, stuff we recorded in New York, including our live show with Rax King.
Yeah.
We released that.
It was a lot of fun.
Had had one of the best dives into right wing madness that that I had to follow the trail and it was fruitful.
But boy, was it was it something.
I actually listened back to that one myself because I was in it in the moment.
I was kind of blacked out.
I was zoning.
I did hear you.
But I got to go back and enjoy it.
Man, shout out Seattle.
Shout out Seattle.
Listen to the episode.
They're all very good.
Also, historical episodes.
The episode featuring Annie Fodder, that's a historical document now.
The one that we recorded with Antifa while in the historic 538 building.
I think that's what you're referring to.
Exactly.
Probably the last podcast to ever be recorded.
Except the one Antifata recorded right after we left town.
But... Well, if it makes you... I was in the room for half of that.
I left mid-recording.
So, I'm still... We're still good.
You know, second to last is fantastic, you know?
And I do think I can say... I mean, I can't really, but I think I was one of the last couch guys.
Hmm.
At 538.
Wow.
I think I was one of the last guys on the couch.
Wow.
So you had to pick up and carry with you now for the rest of your life the essences of every other 538 couch guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I feel kind of powerful.
I've been sleeping really good since then, actually.
I can just fall asleep anywhere.
Just nodding off in my chair.
Just mid-episode.
Yeah.
I had one week in the East Coast.
So much fun.
I'm fully train-pilled.
I love the subway.
I'm 100% for it.
I know that no other state will ever do something like that again.
So I savored it.
I relished it.
More subway talk.
More New York talk on that episode we did with Antifata.
I got so sad today when I had to drive to coffee.
Yeah.
Like, I got so, like, I'm like, this would have been the sickest subway ride.
I would have read a chapter of a book.
I looked at my commute to a local shop, like, the day I got back.
Brutal.
And it was, okay, 22 minute car drive, or an hour and 17 minute bike ride, or an hour and 17 minute train ride.
Yeah.
And just wild.
I was like, I can't do that.
I can't do that two ways.
Are you kidding me?
I'm sorry.
I got to take the car.
Yeah.
Just so sad.
So I'm happy we got to experience that.
It is sad that it is now going to be an American relic.
No one's ever going to duplicate that again.
You're right.
It's just not going to happen.
But believe in trains.
They exist.
Okay.
Yeah.
Anyway, enough about I just wanted I was leading.
I wanted to talk about how I went to a skate park yesterday.
Tony, I I had another I had another week off at home and most of that was spent working on my bathroom.
We were finally able to get the fucked up drywall and skylight repaired in my bathroom.
It's been messed up since before I moved in because the previous landlord, the previous owner, put the roof on it wrong.
And so it destroyed the inside of my bathroom.
It just poured down through the skylight.
Again, before I bought the house, I bought the house like that.
But it only got worse.
Did they cover the skylight when they put a roof on?
No, they put a brand new metal roof on and just all the panels of metal that they put on it didn't actually go up to the skylight.
There was just a gap around it.
That's so funny.
The shower, the back rooms, the extra bathroom we have, they installed the shower surround under the pan.
Oh my god.
Behind the pan.
So the water just runs down the surround behind the pan.
That's a nightmare.
That's an absolute nightmare.
We don't use that shower anymore.
As someone who used to do abatement and flooding stuff, that is the thing of nightmares.
But so, yeah, we had it repaired, and then I put a couple coats of mold genociding paint on it.
But yeah, got to go to the...
Kills?
Actual kills, right?
Yeah, yeah.
I love that's what it's called.
Kills.
But yeah, went to Vashon Island yesterday, which is a Seattle island, like a hippie island.
It's a little yuppie, too It's like a mix of hippie and yuppie, but they have a sick fucking skate park there With an actual pump track.
I felt like I was in I felt like I was in hook dude I was like, where's where's the rim?
Yeah, give me the rock.
I can take it.
I can take it all the way.
That's awesome I I've never been able to ride a pump track.
I've never seen a pump track, but it's like looks like so much fun I'm going to sell so many cigarettes for the Foot Clan.
Just give me a pump track, or better yet, a snake run.
I don't want to be asking for too much, but if it's not too much, a snake run.
Yeah, but if it could be elevated in a warehouse, that'd be really cool.
I would like that.
Dude, it's an indoor-outdoor skate park.
It's a free indoor-outdoor skate park.
Beautiful.
It's got a snake run, and then kind of like a vert section, a bowl, it's got a tabletop, it's got a pyramid.
And then the pump section is huge.
It like it's got like four tracks, basically, that all loop together.
You know, you could take it the whole way, but and then they have an indoor like wood, you know, like like a brickyard inside.
That was just for us.
Like a brickyard was only for us.
But yes, exactly like a brickyard or that giant rolling that like it was on the side.
It was a huge rolling.
I think was there's no reason for that.
That park was set up so wild.
It didn't last very long, but anyway.
So I, yeah, I just wanted everybody to know that I did a pump track.
It was important.
It's awesome.
Important moment for me.
It was like scary at first because I don't know, I hadn't been on a board in like three years.
So I was like, we can talk more about this on Death Chat 500, I guess.
But yeah, once I finally got comfortable on the board, I was like, and Ani showed me the way.
Ani showed me how to do a pump track.
And I was like, all right, I can do this shit.
Have you seen the video of the guy doing the surfing on the quarter pipe?
No.
Anyways, this guy's doing this, like, tutorial on how to, like, surf, how to surfskate.
And he's, like, going over these cones on a quarter pipe, and it's just the lamest thing.
He's gonna go, like, mid-wall.
And Kelly, Kelly Slater commented on it.
It was all like, we gotta cut this kookiness out.
Wow, too much of a kook even for Kelly Slater.
Imagine getting dunked on by Kelly Slater.
Yeah, wow, he called you a shooby, dude.
Yeah, that sucks a little bit.
Oh, that would be so brutal because the guy's so sincere in it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, anyway, yeah, go support the show at patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
Get two bonus episodes a week, including, yeah, some of that stuff we recorded while we were out there.
And yeah, Tony brought up a good point.
What were you saying, Tony?
I was saying that if you join the Patreon you also get merch discounts where you can now find the Bootleg Bart 2.0 shirt, the Black Bart dunking a flaming globe, and it's beautiful.
It's a beautiful shirt.
I love it.
You can go get it now.
Bart as Jordan is also saying a classic MDC catchphrase from one of our many hilarious podcasts.
And it's obviously a comment, but it's a comment with the word comments in it.
So it's a really special shirt for us.
And yeah, we hope you take a look at it.
Yeah, MinionDeathCult.com.
And Tony, you said that Patreon subscribers get a discount.
Surely it's like, OK, a 5% discount or something like that, right?
Oh, you would think so.
But that would also imply, you know, maybe.
Maybe we want to make money off these shirts, but no, no thank you.
We want to give to the people.
The people on our Patreon.
Right.
And it's much more than 5%.
This is the people's shirt, and therefore you should get the people's discount of 20%.
20% I'm signing up at our Patreon.
That shirts only 25 bucks already that this is a American made shirt, not a union made shirt cause they weren't available.
But it is an American made Bayside classic tea, natural cotton.
Sorry.
Maybe we'll, we'll try to make a black shirt next time.
But this looks too good on the natural cotton.
It looks amazing.
It's it's a great shirt.
Help us.
There's there's like 10 left in each size.
So if you want one, you better you better jump on it because they are about to be gone.
Go over to MinionDeathCult.com to check out that merch.
Links to the Patreon and the web store will be in this episode's description.
Thanks for putting up with all that jibber jabber.
But hey, we don't run ads.
All right.
We do we do this show totally independently.
You know, you need to follow the money when you listen to these programs that offer you the news.
You need to follow, because did you know that some people profit off of things sometimes?
You know what makes me mad is how many times you're listening to a podcast and they tell you to shave your genitals.
We don't ever tell you to shave your genitals.
Do whatever you want with your genitals, but I'm not going to tell you that you're better or worse for shaving or not shaving them.
I'm not going to profit off of your body hair shame.
That's what I'm saying.
They are kind of doing a body shaming thing with the ball, the ball razor, whatever they, whatever it's called.
Junk, junk knife.
Honestly, I'm going to need to see some smooth sacks before I purchase that.
I think they're fretting.
I don't think they're even doing it.
I need to see these podcasters smooth sacks before I really take their endorsement.
Um, we need like a subway campaign for hairy balls because too many men admit to judging other men's hairy balls.
It's true.
It's true.
It's not, it's not okay.
It's not okay.
And like, since when were balls not supposed to smell?
You're going to tell me my balls can't smell now?
Like, this is not the way we're supposed to go.
We're moving backwards, folks.
Uh, yeah.
And instead of that, like that woman with like the beautiful Magnolia tattoo on her armpit or whatever, it'll be Stafford's ball sack with the money sign tattooed on it when he was like 16.
Yeah, balls are balls.
Nobody has good ones or bad ones.
They're all fine.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Including Stafford.
Including Stafford's balls.
Love you.
Yeah.
Love you both.
Love all three of you.
- Yeah.
- All right, let's move on with the show. - So did you see this let's move on with the show. - So did you see this video of the guy destroying a
No, I only saw like the aftermath, um, which is, which is cool.
So I didn't see the actual video cause it might be too triggering for me.
Well, this is big news folks because yeah, a brave man has stood up to 15 minute cities by destroying a roadside fruit stand.
He was like, get that shit out of here.
It's too close.
This is within a 10 minute radius of where I live.
You need to get off this off ramp and go to seven off ramps down and then a few blocks away.
That's where I want you.
Are you even thinking about all the people in this community who make money off of DoorDash?
Are you even thinking about that?
Yeah, the poor TaskRabbit apps out there.
Yeah, they are losing out big.
Dude, we were in Ani's dad's neighborhood today, and there was an estate sale, and we're looking for a chair, so we went by.
I bet that was a good estate sale.
They had a fucking flat-top grill.
Like these caterers had a flat top grill and they were selling tacos and breakfast burritos just in the front yard of the estate sale.
It was amazing.
I bought three pork tacos.
I thought you were saying there was one for sale at the estate sale.
I'm like, did you get it?
We would have.
We were sitting there looking at it.
I was like, I want a fucking flat top grill so bad.
What's the best you can do on this when you're done with it?
I also was checking out this folding table before I realized it was just a table that had the actual stuff for sale on it.
I was like, alright.
I wonder if I could buy one of these.
I could see you knocking on it.
This thing looks sturdy.
It was a black one.
It looked really nice.
It was like black and not as big as the normal double up white folding tables.
It was like two-thirds that size.
I was like, this is a good size for a table.
And then I just realized they were selling the shitty trinkets on top.
The shame.
No chair either.
Hard to find a good chair.
Yeah, chairs are tough.
Yeah, no, let me play this, uh, video, uh, real quick here.
I might rage.
It's pretty shitty.
It's a guy, yeah, it's, it's nighttime.
It's a, uh, bald white dude with a beard, uh, stomping around, dragging the dude's tables and throwing them just like further down the shoulder, uh, while his lifted pickup trucks lights shine on, uh, the guy and the camera.
He's lighting himself.
Throwing crates of fruit onto the ground.
Americans have such a violent reaction to fruits and vegetables.
They have to destroy them when they see them.
Well, they're trying to save us.
They're trying to save us from the toxins.
I heard that he actually gave them a case of raw livers after this and said, you're welcome.
That's the only way that this this because we're going to see how this fits into the right wing.
Right.
We're going to see how the right wing is responding to just like a guy doing what they all kind of say they want to do, but actually doing it and seeing how, you know, ridiculous it makes the man look.
And some of them have to try to defend it.
And so we're going to watch.
We're going to see how they do that.
This gives me a terrible case of the, like, why does this never happen when I'm there?
Yeah.
I don't know if I would, like, fight this guy over it, but I would be there and I would be talking shit the whole time.
I would try to get him to touch me, for sure.
Exactly.
You'd let him know it's an option?
Yeah.
Awful human beings?
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
Yeah, one moment.
Let's go, man.
Hey, no problem.
Yeah, the guy, uh, the white guy grabbed dude's elbow.
I told you you could.
Yeah, no problem, man.
Hey, let me show you something else.
Yeah.
Hey, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Yeah.
No touch.
No touch.
Yeah.
The guy, uh, the white guy grabbed dude's elbow.
Dude is just recording the whole time.
Uh, and yeah, white guy got in his face and grabbed his elbow to try and like force him to look at something.
Uh, and he was like, don't touch, no touch.
Um, Did he did he say you see the sign that says get out?
Yeah, he said he he said, do you see the sign?
You can't be here.
There's probably some sign that says no panhandlers or no sellers or something like that.
Yeah, we need to keep this off ramp beautiful.
We need to make sure that this barren piece of dirt has nothing living on it.
And yeah, fruit, I believe, even though it's been picked already, that looks too healthy for us.
That looks too alive.
Please get it out of here.
This guy hates the free market, actually.
This guy hates the free market.
It's like, dude, this guy's just chilling with a bunch of fruit around him.
No one's making people buy it.
Like, why are you acting this way?
Yeah, of course, they all hate the free market.
None of them actually like the free market.
No, none of them, yeah, exactly.
They just want to use it to punish people, of course.
What if he's had like a real, what if he's had like a flandering fruit stand, like one exit past this guy?
He's like, I told you you gotta leave me in, because he's been doing the same thing one exit down.
I mean, I know that's not happening, but that's... Yeah, it's a turf war, actually.
That'd be funny if that's what it was.
Yeah, this guy who's driving a $60,000 pickup truck that couldn't hold one sheet of plywood is definitely using it to haul fruit to his... So one of the Krasensteins posted this, and I love how these guys talk.
They present because they're Democrats, if you don't know.
Yeah.
They present stuff like they're talking to children.
Yep.
Well, that's because that's who they're talking to.
And it just it never like they'll every single reply will be a blue check.
And it's just I cracked it.
You cracked The engagement.
And these are these are the guys who did get paid out by Elon Musk.
But they'll say, yeah, it'll be like this guy destroying the fruit stand.
The fruit stand.
And the Krasenstein tweet will be like, now I know tensions run high around fruit, but I simply don't think that destroying someone's property is the proper way to articulate your grievances.
I think we should have instead a robust discussion about, you know, that.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, actually, I want to talk to you about this maybe off the air, but like, have you looked into how much we have to pay to get like the Krasenstein K verified emoji?
Can we get that for the show?
Can we get that verified K for the show?
I don't think you can buy.
I don't think the Krasensteins are as low as to sell it to whoever.
I think we have to actually join the organization.
Oh, I just wanted the clout.
I just wanted, I'm sorry, I want to be real, I just wanted the clout.
If I could pay, if I could pay $2.99 for the Krasinski, I might run it.
Yeah, it entitles you to just death, eight death threats in your inbox per week.
Guaranteed.
I would use that for the, for the not safe for work alt, though, is what I would use that one for.
Yeah, so Robin here had your same concern, Tony.
What's the sign say?
While David's actions were over the top, he seemed to be motioning to a sign that the Honduran man may have not been adhering to.
Tennessee does not.
You gotta listen to signs.
Have you not seen the movie Signs?
All I learned from that is you have to pay attention to all signs.
Tennessee does have a lot of road signs that say no stopping, walking, or parking at any time.
This is how committed to fighting the 15-minute cities are.
They've actually banned walking.
This is no longer a walkable state.
You better jump that motherfucker.
You better have boosties.
This is a jetpack city, actually.
It's a jetpack city?
Hey, we were promised jetpacks.
Where are they?
Tennessee?
Hey, if banning walking gets Tennessee on the road to creating jetpacks, I'm all for it.
I'm all for it.
This is why we need more women in STEM.
I love just desperately trying to make the roads even more catering to cars.
Like putting spikes, actual spikes, on the sidewalks that go down on the shoulder or whatever.
Stuff like that, you know?
You make an alleyway of broken glass, but you call it public art.
You're like, it's a commentary.
Also, don't walk on it, because you'll fucking bleed.
You put skate stoppers on handrails, but they're, like, electrified.
Like, creates a current.
They're just paddle prods attached to the handrails that are always running.
It's just car batteries wired to handrails.
Tennessee, to be fair, Tennessee does have a lot of road signs that say no stopping walking or parking at any.
I love this idea because like, yeah, Tennessee is one of these states.
It's like, yeah, we like does Tennessee have an income tax?
Does Tennessee, you know, what are their stances on regulations?
Except for when it comes to people trying to make a living without having, you know, a boss, without having a corporate Boss or overlord?
Uh, no.
Absolutely not.
Uh, but yeah.
What does the sign say?
And Ed Krasenstein says, it's interesting indeed.
I wish I knew what the sign said.
It's not, it's not the point at all.
I mean, whatever.
No.
Does that make this guy a fucking vigilante?
You know?
Like, I mean, I think he does think he's a vigilante.
So embarrassing.
Like, imagine not... For regulations, but also, like, Tennessee regulations.
That's what I would do.
For sure.
I remember that, like, that mentality in skateboarding, where it's like...
No, guys, they actually put a sign up, though.
So you really can't skateboard on it.
They put a whole sign up.
Other places, they didn't put a sign up.
That's not their fault.
You can do what you want.
But this place had a sign, and you can't ignore the signs.
Some people stop and read the plaques.
I stop and read the signs.
Um, so let's get into some defenses of, yeah, just I mean, this this brave hero refusing to eat locally sourced food.
One of the big ones was RawEggNationalist on Twitter.
I don't really know this guy.
He's got like a fake avatar of a really buff guy from, you know, like a bodybuilder model from the 50s, wearing a bikini and all oiled up, and he's got glowing red eyes to indicate that he's racist.
Okay, so RawEggNationalist.
Again, don't really know this guy's deal.
Don't care that much.
Seems to be a bog-standard white nationalist guy.
He quotes this video and he quotes Krasenstein specifically, quote, why are people like this?
Why do they react so hatefully?
And then he kind of editorializes.
Why do they react so hatefully instead of just passively watching their beloved local neighborhoods turned into third world open air markets?
An open air market?
With the air?
People hate it.
Have you seen all the things that are like, About hating food made with hands?
Have you seen these?
I've heard of it, yeah.
That's the thing, they don't want open-air markets.
Open-air markets are so sick, though.
Americans are so convinced that every other country has the dirtiest food, and everything is mom's revenge, but America's the only country where you can't eat raw chicken.
Like every other country you could eat raw chicken, but not in America.
Yeah, you'll totally die.
Food quality standards are objectively far higher in other countries, like Europe for instance.
And they know this.
They know this.
These right-wing freaks like the raw egg nationalists knows that there are better ingredients and knows that there are like animals that are treated more humanely, or if not humanely, at least more hygienically.
Put the bars on the floor, but yes.
Yeah, but they won't.
They'll just drop any of that pretense.
First of all, because the way you get that is through strict regulations.
Which I mean, maybe some of these fascists would be for if it returned us to tradition to, you know, regulate people's habits.
They would be probably pretty fine with that.
But, you know, it's such a foreign idea.
You're just cosplaying as a truther when you're like, Europe has these better foods because I read about it on Truth Social or whatever.
This is how it actually looks.
This is how like street food is prepared in every other country.
It's just such a foreign idea to you.
And the racism, well, that's that's far more like surface level to you.
So that's the one that takes precedence easily.
But they also have this mentality where, like, everything that they consume is somehow, like, never touched by a person.
Like, there's gloves the entire way, which is so funny.
And, like, that is also, like, a racist thing, where it's like, oh, no, they don't even, you know they don't even use toilet paper, so why would they bother using gloves?
Like, that's how the racism goes, too.
It all lends to itself.
There's a classist element to it, too, where it's like if you if you see somebody working fast food or whatever, well, they you know, they're a filthy person and they should never touch my actual food.
Whereas if you see you, if you're the salt bae, he can lick his fingers and pick out some salt for you and sprinkle it right on your dish in front of you, you know?
Yeah.
I mean, it's not anyone's fault.
It's the thing is that having an autoimmune disease was often a sign of royalty back in the day.
People used to fake having Crohn's to appear more well-off than they actually were.
I love this.
Why do they react so hatefully instead of just passively watching their beloved local neighborhoods?
Americans don't have local neighborhoods.
What are you talking about?
Americans have tracts of suburbs and war zones and then like gated communities.
That's what America has.
And you know how you do have local neighborhoods?
Is by providing everything people need within their neighborhood.
Like fresh fruits and vegetables on the way home from work.
Right.
Like convenient.
And of course, of course, we have neighborhoods, but it's just they're in cities.
They're in tight, tightly knit communities where, yeah, you're zoned for commercial as well as residential.
And that means there might be other people there.
That means you might have to see other people, which, you know, there's the racism, there's the classism, but then there's just like the general Sociopathy.
There's the general antisocial ideology personality for the average conservative that just like react cringes away from from humanity, you know, which I can sympathize with it, you know, to some degree, which I can sympathize with it, you know, to some degree, having been like a former depressed But totally that's kind of stuff you need to current antisocial adult like here for all of it.
Well, that's smart, though, because the thing is, is that when 2020 repeats itself and you got to share your bucket, you're not going to you're not going to feel not bad for not sharing your bucket if you hate everyone around you.
But if you accidentally talk to your black postal worker too many times and you got really tight, you might feel inclined to share your survival bucket with them.
But this way you don't have to.
Yeah, I mean, that is a really good point, because it is like an individualist ideology, and like, you know... I told him to fucking stock up!
I told his ass!
I said, listen, you gotta stop buying new chains, new jewelry.
I see you buying all this jewelry in Alize, and the pollster worker's like, what are you talking about?
What do you mean?
That wasn't me.
Stop buying, stop, listen, stop having so many baby mamas and just start buying buckets, please.
Uh, not me, because I know that my acquaintances, my so-called friends and family, I know them for what they really are, which is competition.
You'll notice I only have one friend who's technically larger than me, and he lives in Seattle.
So, that was a choice I made.
You're gonna go rob all your friends.
The second shit goes down, you got spare keys to all your friends.
And you like, you know they don't have firearm in the house.
They're like, Tony, you're vegan.
What are you doing?
Don't worry about it.
But yeah, I won't be coming to rob you.
I will just be gathering resources to get to you.
And we'll culminate resources.
Until you decide you need to beat me up.
And then I'll just live with that.
Open.
Imagine using the open air market as a scare tactic.
Don't you guys like air?
Haven't you been crying for a million years about having to wear a cloth?
Oh, the air, my precious air can't get in the open air.
It's so healthy.
That's all I need.
A little prescription from mother, doctor, mother nature.
And you're like melting down about an apple being in a wood crate.
Also, like, if you want to go ahead and get real trad with it, my guy, like, you want the mother of your children to be like, yeah, these are these are fresh organic greens I got from the farmer's market.
Well, you said the word farmer's market, and that's that's a totally different.
I don't see I've never seen a brown.
I'm just kidding.
But.
No, it's true.
When I think of farm, I think of like... When I think of a farm, I think of farmer.
I don't think of like the people that they sucker into picking the strawberries for them.
I think of like Matty Matheson.
Right.
Who's like a really cool dude.
Yeah.
Who's very fucking hip.
And grows vegetables, so therefore is good.
That's what I think of.
I want to be like the farmer.
We spent a lot of time on this already, and I have some responses here, so we won't do too many of them.
We warned them I was going to be triggered.
It's not your fault.
Yeah, IBZ says, I fail to see how this is any different from the farmer stands they set up.
See, how is this different?
DaMonster replies, one's a local and Will can't just skip town if the organic big repellent, it's a bug repellent, they use turns out to have lead in it.
The other is an invader.
So fooled.
So, so convinced.
Like, are you really about that life?
Are you really going to the farm and, like, getting?
Because if you are, talk that shit.
But I don't think you are.
Also, I was talking about this morning, the idea of, especially, I can only speak for California because we have very unique rules.
The idea of, like, organic is so fucked up in classes that there's all these farms who are doing these like 10 acre I'm paying my rent and my mortgage farms that are beautiful that can't afford to certify themselves organic.
Oh, right.
Yeah, because there's like an independent.
They're not an independent, but whatever.
There's some sort of agency that you have to go through the process to have like the actual seal, the organic seal on it.
Yeah, and the truth of the matter is, it's on the individual to look at a fruit and be like, this strawberry is too goddamn big.
I'm gonna go ahead and not eat this one.
That's on us.
To be real, that's really on us.
Because a lot of stuff, it will tell you.
So we have what's called California Clean.
Which is a free certification that is just as good as organic in my humble opinion.
And that's free.
But no one looks for that.
So I'm saying this is all just a dumb lie.
I gotta ask you some specific questions because I've never heard of any of this and you're blowing my mind here.
So, organic to me just means no pesticides.
No.
I wish it did.
Okay, so elaborate.
It's supposed to mean no pesticides.
It does mean no pesticides.
It means no pesticides.
It means no a lot of stuff.
But the thing is, we've also come to the point where some of this stuff is still good.
What it does not mean, it does not mean no GMO.
It does not mean that.
Yeah, but I don't care about GMOs.
Me either.
But I'm saying it doesn't mean that, just for the record.
But there's some things that are, like, fine that are not considered organic.
And like I said, the biggest thing about being able to call yourself organic is that you can't do it unless you're certified.
And that's a federal thing.
That's crazy.
Yeah, I think I did know about that.
So people are doing organic fruits and vegetables all the time and they have to tell you like low-key like, we're good, we're clean.
You can ask anybody, if you go to a farmer's market, you could ask them what they use.
That's what I'm saying is like, if you're not tearing down the person's stand every weekend or whatever, you can actually have a relationship with them and find out where they do get But also, you don't have to do that at a fruit stand.
You can do that at your local grocery store.
what wholesalers because if if it's something you're buying regularly then yeah you'd probably want to know like where it's coming from but also you don't have to do that at a fruit stand like you can do that at your local grocery store like as somebody who eats good because i have ebt most grocery stores should be able to tell you where something comes from and they can answer all those questions for you and they'll show up
tell you like yo get the organic tomato but don't get the organic cucumber they'll tell you that shit and it's really nice you can have those conversations with people in your produce stands like no matter what store you're at so the thing about me is i don't care Here we go.
And that's fine.
The only difference between if I, if, if it says organic, I'm like, okay, I don't have to wash it.
That's like, and I, and I would still wash it.
Whatever.
Because poop exists.
I don't care.
I don't.
We all poop.
Because manure and poop exists.
So I would still run under a little tiny bit of water.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
We all poop.
Or burn it.
It's fine.
Or burn it.
You burn it though, right?
Burn what?
The vegetables that are labeled organic.
The organic stuff?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, get a little char on them and you're good.
Just don't boil them, host.
If you're going to boil them, you got to rinse them.
One's a local and will just skip town.
Well, see, they're confused about their own.
And whale can't just skip.
So one's a local and can't just skip town if the organic bug repellent they use turns out to have lead in it.
I love this idea of like a traveling Traveling fruit grifter?
It's the music man, but produce?
Yeah.
Like, what are you talking about?
You come to a town a year early, and then plant a bunch of crops, and then water them with lead, or whatever your fucking fever dream is, and then you sell them to people, and then you can skip town.
You know, last year, a man who looked just like this man, but with a different name, sold us a bunch of cabbage in my town, and we all got E. coli.
I might look after this guy.
He sang a song.
He sang a song.
He did a dance.
He was really convincing.
He was like the music man, but with cabbage and radishes.
He rolled a head of cabbage down one arm, over his back, and down the other.
Yeah.
It was insane.
I've never seen anything like it.
Cabbage with a capital C with rhymes with E, which stands for E. coli.
Here's another response in the similar vein.
One pays taxes, the other doesn't, and sends the money they get outside the U.S., screwing with the economy as it's done en masse.
One's farms are required to use safe pesticides, the other doesn't care.
And the person who posted this has fucking the Unabomber profile sketch as their avatar.
And sure, it's the Unabomber wearing a mask.
You know, there's like a real mask photoshopped over the Unabomber sketch.
Sure, funny.
I love the idea of a guy who idolizes the Unabomber being like, we have these regulations here for a place.
We have these rules for a reason.
For a reason, rather.
Yeah.
And they totally don't fuck over the farmers.
Like, no one's taking that.
Why are they not taking that angle?
Like, hey, like, like, listen, like, like it or not, but, like, bootlegging, like, I was having a discussion about streaming.
Like, bootlegging is important right now.
You know, you gotta bootleg.
You gotta get, you gotta buy, you gotta buy your produce off the side of the freeway every once in a while.
I love the idea of Ted Kaczynski.
Wow.
Nothing, nothing makes Ted Kaczynski matter than somebody selling food off the grid.
Then somebody not operating through government channels in order to barter goods and services.
I think, yeah.
Did he use manure?
What?
Did he use manure?
The Unabomber?
I think so.
I wonder if it was organic manure, what kind of manure it was.
I wonder if there was a statement in there.
Yeah, that's a good question.
I do hate seeing people, especially on that side of the freeway that's about to burst into flames at any moment because of how uninhabitable it is.
I hate seeing anything happening or occupying that precious space.
What if I need to pass somebody who's only going 75 miles an hour?
Huh?
And you're fucking fruit stands in my way?
That's not my fault.
That is why the truck was pulled over originally.
He was trying to pass somebody on the right.
Is that real?
No.
I'm just saying it makes sense.
I mean, we can spread that lie.
I'm okay with that type of propaganda happening.
Who's going to contest it, really?
Again, like, these people trying to fit destroying a guy's food stand into your right-wing narrative.
Chojiki says, the farm stands sell produce they grew on their own land.
So you have to own the land.
You have to own land in order to make money.
I don't know anything.
These roadside vendors buy pallets of fruit from wholesalers and resell it.
It is.
All these people, what they do is, at least locally here, and this is from an inside source, a.k.a.
my mom, what everyone does is they all go to the produce district in your local harbor, whether it's San Diego or Los Angeles or Santa Cruz or San Francisco.
You go there at five o'clock in the morning.
You arrive at 5 o'clock in the morning, you buy your pallets, you pick your stuff, you have your people, and you go back and you sell it.
And sometimes you do a couple local stuff on the way home, or if you are local you're doing two things, and that's it.
But that's how everybody does it.
Everybody does exactly that.
Nobody is selling All their local farm unless it's like that person who owns the land, which is super rare at your local farmers market.
95% of those people are representatives of somebody else distributing vegetables, and that's fine.
That's good, but just this idea of like.
Oh no, I met like a white lady who sold me cabbage, so therefore it's that's definitely the better one is is wrong, yeah?
Yeah, obviously what I'm taught, what I would see mostly was like a one crop stand.
That's, that's what I'm talking about is like oranges and orange stand or strawberries or whatever that people have like strawberries on their, on their property or, or, or a couple orange trees or like fig trees or whatever.
We had a lot of good trees in Southern California.
It's obviously not going to be like that everywhere.
But yeah, even if, even if they are like, You're talking about a grocery store.
That's how you get your stuff from the grocery store.
They buy it from a wholesaler.
Yeah.
And that has no bearing on the quality of the product.
Yeah, exactly.
It's all just like a false...
Right here.
Not necessary.
If they want to be entrepreneurs and open their own produce store, they can rent a place and do so.
See, you have to have land.
You have to.
You have to have land and you have to have money enough to rent a storefront to sell your fucking fruit or vegetables.
Yeah, I want Penny to do a lemonade stand, but I told her she has to actually rent a storefront, and get everything certified, and get everything licensed, and get the health board into it, and get an LLC, and then she can do a lemonade stand.
See, that's like the opposite of what my dad told me when I wanted to buy a car, because I wanted to do it the normal way, which is where you take out a loan and have like a $200 payment every month that I could afford.
Uh, he wanted me to do it the insane way where he would match what I put down, uh, in a, in a bulk payment.
And I'm like, what?
I'd like, do you know how long it's going to take me to save $1,000 working at Pizza Hut in 2004, 2003?
Are you kidding me?
You gotta believe though.
You just gotta believe.
That's so funny.
But yeah, they need to be an entrepreneur and raise a bunch of startup capital through Wall Street or whatever.
How am I supposed to buy your produce if you don't even have employees?
Exactly.
How are you going to be held liable?
Last thing about this.
So of course, the Based Egg Nationalist or whatever the fuck this dipshit calls himself.
I hate it.
Is it like Double Down Lactose Intolerant?
It's probably like good cholesterol.
I don't know.
Raw egg national.
I don't know.
He just thinks it's epic.
He saw it in a movie and it's epic.
Um, he made some other posts about how, uh, how poisoned American food is and yada, yada, yada.
And I said, well, healthy, fresh foods.
No, thanks.
Don't want my freeway off ramp looking like a third world open air market.
Forget about it.
And then this this guy replied to me.
Isengrim3, whose profile pic is Gimli from Lord of the Rings.
The audacity!
Listen, I'm not a big, you know, Lord of the Rings head as we've established, but I know that Gimli's tight, right?
Yeah, the actor who played Gimli, not so much, but Not so much, but the character is like, this guy's being a bit audacious, right?
Well, he was pretty racist against elves at the beginning of the movie.
Oh, that's true.
Although, the elves are supposed to be white people and racist Lord of the Rings.
So, kind of confusing.
Seems like maybe he was doing reverse racism, which would be an ironic guy to have as your avatar.
See, from my POV, that's based.
Right, but, I mean, maybe you guys share the same POV, I guess.
Yeah.
Isengrim3 says, why are you eating ultra-processed garbage instead of fresh-caught rat cooked in a sidewalk barbecue, Anon?
So he's doing 4chan speak to me on X on Twitter.
Why is that option B?
Because that's what they, that's what these, you think it's a banana?
No.
You peel back that, you peel back that peel, it's gonna be a, uh, cockroaches stacked together, molded in the shape of a banana.
And it's gonna be rat that's prepared only in the sense that they singe the hair off and then rotisserie it over a fire.
Yeah.
No seasoning, nothing, just teeth.
You get to see the teeth while you eat the rat.
And yeah, so for all these people who are like, anti-Hollywood, anti-elite, yadda yadda yadda, I don't watch TV, I don't believe what they put in front of my face and want me to believe.
It's like, you're literally referencing a movie you saw.
You're referencing Demolition Man.
You're a victim.
You're a victim of the conditioning of Hollywood.
This isn't your fault.
Maybe Temple of Doom.
One of those is definitely affecting what you think brown people's food is like.
Well, they saw one of those new anime IRL pornos where a woman did have three boobs, and they were like, well, if three boobs exist, then for sure people eating roasted rat and cockroach stacks exist.
And then this guy, he came back to me after I said, hey, you're imagining movies.
You're thinking about movies you saw.
He says, been to New York City recently?
And, listener, as a matter of fact, time stopped, the buzzer sounded.
Have I been to New York?
I am a fucking expert on being to New York City recently.
Got him right.
We're about as recent as you can get to New York City.
We're little New York City experts.
I was just like, have I got someone you should talk to?
It's me.
All right.
Yeah.
I have been to New York City recently.
And I said, yeah, last week.
How about you?
In your face.
No response.
Suck it.
No response.
Silence.
Days later.
Silence the haters.
Just a guy who's probably never been to New York City, only gets his information about New York City through the Breitbart Instagram account.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My one complaint about New York City, my only complaint about New York City was that I only saw one rat.
And you saw two, but they weren't even in New York City.
Well, yeah, it was Philly.
Philly rats.
And they were just playing with each other.
They weren't even, you know, looting a store or trying to sell food on the sidewalk or anything like that.
Well, like I told you, I accidentally got to feed my rat because I dropped a piece of cookie and I was so excited I dropped it.
So I kicked it towards the rat because I'm not going to eat subway floor cookie.
But I will, I will kick it towards the rat.
And it was so cute, but it was only one.
I only saw one.
I was there for a few days.
See, that's just the kind of community that you foster when you're in New York City.
Yeah.
Feed the rats.
Yeah, alright, so thankfully the evil convenient food stand was banished to the Netherrealm, and we can once again look at our pristine, dusty off-ramps with pride.
And I will say that if one city could benefit from maybe some more fresh food stands, it's New York City.
Is that a joke?
No, that's real.
I think that if there were more of them, that'd be great.
Sure.
Less bodega fruit and more fresh fruit stands?
Alright, moving on.
Uh...
Tony, I don't mean to like...
You know, you don't want to do these episodes where just we're compounding the misery.
We're compounding the, the Doomerism.
We don't want to be a Doomer podcast.
You know, we, we have sort of a negative tint to what, what this show is about, but you don't want to like usually double up on really heavy stuff in the same episode.
But I mean, it's just what's in the news.
So we kind of have to.
Sometimes that's just, that's the cards we're dealt.
It's not our fault.
Right, and I'm of course talking about burgers.
They've targeted our burgers, Tony.
They came after the burger!
I'm so mad right now.
I had one of the best burger experiences of my life while I was in New York.
Like, legitimately emotional meal over a burger.
And they better leave our burgers alone.
Well, they're not and they're not even our burgers anymore, Tony, because I'm reading here from Gina Goodman.
Thank you.
Thank you to Nick for sharing this.
I saw this in a couple of places, not this specific post, but what we're about to explore, which is the idea that they are they are replacing our burgers.
The goo will not replace us!
They better not.
They're replacing us with lab-grown meat, Tony.
Gina Goodman here, thanks to Nick for this, says, Oh my gosh!
And all before the FCC slash FEMA alert on October 4th!
What is that, eyeglass emoji?
You're like scrutinizing?
Yeah, inspecting.
Don't eat the burgers!
This is serious.
You know it's serious when when they're telling you when they're telling you not to eat the burger.
Yeah.
Something's going fucking wrong.
Someone's fucking because they love burgers.
There's something wrong with it.
Burger King is giving away free burgers.
McDonald's is giving away double cheeseburgers for 50 cents.
Wendy's is giving away- In this economy?
Something's fucked.
I mean, I look at it as a protest to brandonomics.
I look at this as a giant middle finger to Joe Biden.
No, we will not charge fellow Americans $9 for a hamburger.
Never.
I don't care what sort of threats you and the deep state give to us, a humble fast food company.
We will not raise prices on consumers.
In fact, We're lowering prices to what the Facebook pages about the 50s and 60s and 70s and 80s say they should be.
Or at least until the promotion expires or we decide not to do anymore.
But we're doing it.
We're doing it.
And you know why?
It's because they already spent $15 in gas to get here.
Absolutely.
Joe Biden.
You motherfucker.
Wendy's being like, fuck you, Brandon.
Let's let's go, Brandon.
Fuck Joe Biden.
You know, I hate this post the most is because the one burger company I'm waiting to do a veggie burger is Wendy's because the Wendy's vegan burger is going to be fucked up.
Good.
What?
Wendy's is Wendy's is the goat.
I'm sorry for for like fast food burgers.
So good.
And listen to this.
At home, I make my burger square.
Listen to this.
So this is on a different post, but, um, Sandra, Sandra says, Wendy's is pure 100% beef.
Just saying.
And I was like, I knew it.
I fucking knew it in my heart.
I don't go to fast food anymore.
Uh, but I went to fast food at like 11 PM the other night.
Cause I was after a show, I was super hungry and I was like, oh, there's a Wendy's somewhere around here.
And I went to Wendy's and it was so good.
And I knew that was a hundred percent beef.
I could fucking tell.
Yeah.
I'm gonna photoshop that though so it says Tony is pure 100% beef just saying.
That would be cute.
Yeah.
I'm gonna do it.
Jake replies, so is lab grown meat lol.
That's still beef, they grew it from a beef cell.
I mean yes, that's true.
And again, if this was a thing that was possible, I would be so fucking about it.
But it's so expensive to do this.
We're not even into the actual conspiracy theory.
I'm just talking about Wendy's here.
Sandra replies, I work where they make the Wendy's patties, so I know.
This is somebody who works in the Wendy's factory and is like, I back- Damn.
I have pride in our fucking burger.
I see how it starts.
I see where it fucking starts and my mouth still waters if I walk into a Wendy's.
I need to see the secrets because you know what?
No matter what I try, them hoes never come out square.
They always come out with a little bit of a curve on every- there's no straight lines.
But a Wendy's burger's got right angles.
Well, what they do is they chop the circles off, the arcs off, and they give it to homeless people.
In the chili.
Or they do that, too.
Yeah, they make... So if they had a lab-grown vegan burger, would they have a vegan chili as well?
Because if I could get a Wendy's vegan chili with a baked potato again, I'd be so happy.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, I think we're all rooting for you, Tony.
We all hope you can get a food... That's what this article's about, right?
A food that you like to eat?
Back to this post from Gina.
Wendy's is giving away burgers for a penny.
So, the people who are... I just gotta give them my kid?
That's all I gotta do?
And I can get a vegan burger?
Yeah.
See, that's where they get you.
They want the kid for the adrenochrome.
People don't know this.
Yeah, they're trading them for your daughters, but what they're doing is they're taking the adrenochrome afterwards.
Oh, man.
People don't know that.
I've been conditioning her.
She knows that she's down for the cause.
She'll be a martyr.
The people most likely you like I don't know it's such a wonderful conspiracy theory because it's like the people who would post about how hamburgers used to cost a penny or you know hamburgers used to cost a pence a single pence whatever that is right are also the most likely to believe when
The hamburger companies sell them for a dollar again that there's some New World Order globalist agenda to get you to eat burger burgers.
No, this is listen, I only eat fungible burgers.
These are non fungible burgers.
It's a good conspiracy theory because it's just for one day, right?
There's just one day that Burger King... Is it all the same day?
Did we miss it?
I don't know.
I think it was National Cheeseburger Day.
I think that we missed it.
Yeah.
I could have got all the vegan burgers.
I would have had a reason for it.
But yeah, it's going to be hard because you're not going to be able to eat the burger, but you'll be brave and you'll be able to do it because it's literally just one day.
Yeah, because that's that's the idea is that it's this day they're testing out lab grown meat on the hamburger.
And that's that's why there's a catch in order to get it for that price.
You have to download their app and indicate the name of the person that ate the burger.
Now, to me, that sounds really weird, like they're putting something inside the meat.
Scan the QR code on the burger to register yourself.
Yeah, the fast food company wants me to download an app to eat at their restaurant.
Seems a little weird.
And you're like, yeah, that is super weird.
And then she's like, maybe they're trying to put mRNA vaccines inside of it.
You're like, I don't think that's what's happening.
I think they're trying to have an app like every other fucking company in the world.
It's the most annoying shit ever, but I'll do it to get a dollar cheeseburger.
That's like the only way you could get me to download the McDonald's app.
The Taco Bell app is actually so fucking good.
You stack points so fast, you get free food so fast, and you have to use the app.
And it's kind of a pain in the ass.
But I want to do a marketing campaign for them that basically like, uh, It says that the Taco Bell app is kind of like using self-checkout.
And that's going to be the campaign.
You're scanning tacos, but you get a pocket of taco every once in a while.
Pocket of burrito every once in a while.
And they're cool enough.
They would do a cool commercial like that.
Or what you do is you call the Taco Bell Worker over and be like, hey, can I take this Crunchwrap Supreme off, please?
Can you take it off, please?
I don't actually want it anymore.
But you already have one in your bag.
Yeah.
You know?
Or you're like, oh, this one's not scanning.
And he's like, that's okay.
Just take it.
It's okay.
Or you have something in your basket, right?
And you leave it there knowing they're going to call you for it, right?
And you hear someone say, excuse me, miss.
You forgot your Baja Blast for easy.
And you go back and grab it, knowing goddamn well you didn't pay for it, but you looked real sad looking away without it.
Yeah.
Those are good, good commercial ideas.
If anybody wants to pay me for that, we can make that happen.
Okay.
Uh, Gina says, yeah, I know conspiracy, but why on earth would they want to know the name of the person that ate the burger?
They're trying to know the names of us just so we could eat our burger.
That's, that's between me and a burger and God.
Well, the thing is you can't know who ate the second burger unless you know who ate the first burger and you need to keep track of the burgers because the more burgers they eat, the more control we have.
They're just literally trying to send you an email that starts Dear Gina.
Yeah.
Dear Gina, please eat more burgers.
Dear Gina, you deserve a burger.
Dear Gina, it's February.
You deserve a burger, queen.
They want to send you an email that says, Happy Friendsgiving, why not celebrate with a burger from McDonald's?
Hey Gina, you tired of colonialism and genocide?
How about celebrating this Thanksgiving with a burger?
Oh.
No, I agree.
I agree.
It's okay.
There is something weird about a fast food company wanting to know your name, but we've, we've passed that.
We've sailed straight past that.
All right.
Starbucks did that for us.
I go to AutoZone and they ask for my phone number, dude.
I don't know what you're- Oh, I love- that's another one!
I love giving them my phone number.
That shit adds up so quick.
AutoZone's a GOAT for that, for real.
Like, you get $20 like every fourth visit.
That's crazy.
I don't go to AutoZone near- I don't have a 1985 BMW, Tony.
I don't go to AutoZone that often.
You've already established that you're much smarter than I am.
We all know this.
It's no secret.
No, just being cool comes with costs, and I'm willing to forgo that.
It's brutal.
I'm willing to sacrifice that.
It's brutal.
Priorities are all in the dirt.
Which I can go on in both of my vehicles.
The One Rewards Program.
Well, there's...
Maybe a couple.
I don't... CD... UCD Rewards Program, for sure.
Every 10th CD I get one free.
That's adding up a lot.
That's cool.
That's paying out in dividends.
You would be on the Baker's app.
If you were back here, you would be on the Baker's app.
I promise you.
Probably, yeah.
You just gotta scan a barcode.
That's all you gotta do.
I'm on my grocery store app because there's some coupons I have to actually digitally clip.
But the deals are so good.
I'm like, yes, I will get...
Five bags of Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream for $2 each.
Are you kidding me?
You know what?
I think that's the thing.
I think that if maybe our local fruit stands had digital deals...
They'd be more welcome.
Oh, yeah, possibly.
No, but I was going to say that we got it.
We got to keep going.
But the the dominoes.
But you don't need an app.
You just go on the website and you do the two for five carry out, two for five ninety nine, two topping pizza carry out.
But then they'll always just let you add a third pizza onto the deal if you want, which you might as fucking well.
You get pizza points.
So, yeah, like every fourth visit, I get a large, like three topping pizza free.
It's great.
There was like a month when Domino's had vegan cheese and it was sick.
It's gone now.
I don't like to talk about it.
Go woke, go broke, baby!
Um, yeah, so this is a pretty popular conspiracy theory.
People are having fun with it on TikTok and stuff.
Um, I saw somebody post a video of like eating, eating the McDonald's lab grown cheeseburger.
They were like, damn, they really, they really fucking snapped on this shit.
Like the cheese is, the cheese is so melty and like, man, this is good.
But then they start coughing and they start, and they keep, and they keep coughing and the video ends.
I've heard about, like, the fucking $2,000 lab-grown meat, that it tastes tight.
I've heard it tastes very good.
Oh, have people actually eaten it yet?
Yeah, people have eaten it.
And people say it's pretty fucking tight.
You have to say that if you pay- You're literally 3D printing it.
You're, like, creating the marbling.
If you paid $2,000 for it, I think you have to say it's tight, or else you sound even more stupid.
It's also in that weird place where no one's actually paid $2,000 for it yet, But we've been told it's worth $2,000 and everyone has had it for free.
Oh yeah, I just heard that they passed the test.
It's that early.
It's now in development or whatever.
I didn't know if we had actual consensus.
Like, have we had taste testing?
I'd be interested.
Yeah, no.
LabGrownMeat has passed the Bechdel test.
Well yeah, it's all cows mashed up together, dude.
But, like, synthetically.
See, they're trying to steal femininity.
They're trying to erase womanhood.
Artificial cows.
Artificial cow meat.
And I know women are more than just their meat.
But still, it's a vital part.
It's a vital essence of being a woman.
They're also their milk.
So this conspiracy theory, uh, very popular in, or like I saw it, uh, in black social media circles, uh, on TikTok and on Facebook, such as Ice Black Jones on Facebook, who says them burgers from Wendy's and McDonald's, they sell them for cheap.
And then he comments, y'all, it's not just the fact that it ain't real, but it's been injected with something.
Maybe COVID who knows?
Cause there will be a second pandemic wave watch.
And it's like, yeah, there might be a second pandemic wave.
And who, how would that happen?
The lab, the lab grown burgers, the burgers, probably.
Everyone knows there's going to be hamburgers.
Duh!
I'm okay with this.
I'm going to repost this, actually, because, like, yes, I think that we don't need to be eating Wendy's McDonald's because I'm a fucking hater and I think that this shit was designed to poison us as a community.
I agree!
That's the real conspiracy theory, dumbass, is that fast food is bad for you, idiot!
If that's what it takes for us to believe it, then yeah, all the meat's fake.
It's just again, it's just for those, the national cheeseburger day and then it's okay again, then it's good again.
Um, but because, but like, because of, again, the way Facebook works, we've talked about these groups in the past and like, you know, sort of targeted harassment groups where you share stupid shit and then everybody pours out to make fun of that person that happened on this.
It's got shared until like, A liberal group or something like that to dunk on the idiot who, uh, who whatever thinks, you know, there's a conspiracy against the burger, but they don't know who they're talking to.
So they're, they say things like you got, Austin says, you got something against capitalism.
Like thinking that he's thinking that he's owning a proud capitalist.
By talking about the profit incentives of selling a burger or whatever.
A ton of people were like, oh, I thought you people hated the word woke.
Yeah, I thought you hated that.
You're supposed to be a capitalist.
What's your deal?
Conspiracy theories can be black too, guys.
In fact, that's kind of where the word woke originally came from.
And by kind of, we mean exactly.
It's so funny, yeah, I don't know.
Like, it's just super annoying.
Like, some of these groups are really fucked, or, I don't know.
The thing is, is that, like, black conspiracy theorists are the most heady of all.
Right.
You know, do you think that you need to know, like, a math?
Do you know math?
Like, understand QAnon?
No, but you need to know, like, number theory to understand, like, black conspiracy theory.
Also, like, I don't know, you know, black quote conspiracy theory does lead you to things like being critical of the FBI, being critical of the CIA, being critical of, you know, actual harmful government programs.
They were harmful to, yeah, people of color specifically.
But I think the reason is a lot of those conspiracies in different circles were good, were positive.
Not a lot of agreement there, but the lab-grown meat, it sort of coincides.
Morgan Word comments on this.
My brother has worms from eating those burgers yesterday.
He went to the doctors on medicines for it.
Stomach cramps and diarrhea, etc.
Done ran three to four scopes up his bottom.
Couldn't feel nothing, he said, but he knows there's worms in his ass, I guess.
God damn it.
Yeah.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
That has nothing to do with... Why would lab-grown meat have worms?
Well, they grow the worms, too.
That's the whole point.
They're nanoworms.
They're bots.
They're worm bots.
Oh, you know how the left is always saying, you have brain worms, you have brain worms?
Yeah.
Listen to them when they tell you who they are.
They're trying to put nanobot worms in your brain.
Like, the real meat has worms, for real.
Like, the only thing I haven't really had in a long time is worms.
In a long time?
How long has it been, buddy?
I mean, since the last time I ate pork, you know, I had... They were ghost worms, but they were still affecting my biology.
Ghost worms?
Yeah.
Racist ghost worms.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
It's a conspiracy.
I'm starting to hyper-radicate meat from the community.
You can't explain to these people... You can't reason with them.
You can't bring them back down from the conspiracy.
The only thing you can do is try to out-conspiracy them?
Yeah.
Is try to out-woke them?
I think a little harder.
Janae here, who says, honestly, the meat never been real.
LOL.
And then Ice Black says, you know, you got a point.
Yep.
That's right.
That's valid.
But then I would respond, well, is anything real?
And then Gina would be like, damn.
Then I would play audio of like a baby calf being murdered and be like that was real We'll see that now I'm hungry again Finally, something real!
This is a discussion that I had.
This is a discussion that I had.
Oh yeah, they have a restaurant.
They sell veal.
They said that it was ethical veal.
And I was like, how?
There's restaurants out there trying to sell ethical veal right now, as we speak.
Um, hmm.
Yeah, I don't know.
You brush the calf?
Yeah.
Sing a song as you bleed it.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Shout out capitalism.
I like this response though.
Uh, this, he makes Rico makes a really good point.
Yeah.
Rico Suave who says, watch the Simpson episode.
They put everything in your face.
What?
That's true.
I actually put this in every story.
This comment in every single story.
It's always going to apply.
Yeah.
Whatever you're confused about, the Simpsons explained it already.
Yeah.
You go back and study the texts.
I love, watch the Simpson episode.
Two different people cited Simpsons episodes, but said Simpson.
Watch the Simpson episode.
That's interesting.
Maybe that's a weird patriarchy thing.
Oh.
They really want to call it the Homer Show.
Or maybe it's an autocorrect, which could still be from the patriarchy.
Which is bullshit.
I'm kind of mad about that.
Yeah.
Well, it's not the patriarchy.
It's the WEF.
They don't want us to start a family.
They don't want to add an S to the last name of anybody.
They want them to remain single forever.
Yeah.
Watch the Simpson episode.
They put everything in your face.
Which one?
All of them.
They're all pretty fucking good.
Hello.
Duh.
Yeah.
Well, that's the episode, folks.
Thanks for welcoming us back.
Thanks for listening.
Again, go check out our new shirt at MinionDeathCult.com.
We also have the poster for the New York show designed by Penny and Tony Boswell available for the low, low price of $15 shipped in a nice tube.
You know, I didn't get to talk to you about this, but I want to address this real quick.
I had a guy be like, well, I don't know if I can wear that shirt because I'm a white guy.
And I'm going to tell you, you can.
That shirt's a fine shirt to wear.
Like, it's okay to wear shirts with black people on it.
The guy was like, no, you don't get it, man.
I walk through a lot of different neighborhoods.
And I'm like, nope, that's not a thing.
They're probably going to like your shirt, dude.
Anyone's going to beat you up for that shirt.
No one's going to get angry at you for that shirt.
Like, calm down.
I don't know, it was so funny.
So yeah, find a shirt.
You're going to look great in it.
It's fine.
It doesn't matter if you're yellow or brown.
You're going to look great in that shirt.
It feels like I'm buying a black person if they're on the shirt.
Feels weird.
I'm like fetishizing.
Look at my cool shirt.
Look at how cool this person is.
Yeah, it's because you're putting this shirt on.
You don't think you're worthy of feeling that cool.
