I feel like I'm being punk'ed daily and Justen Bieber is around the corner (Preview)
What if Tom Hanks ate his son Chet for his rich vein of adrenachrome? What if the President and the First Lady ate the same dish at a restaurant and it was poisoned? What if shoplifting were dangerous for your upper respiratory system? What if the real pandemic were tipping? These questions definitively answered on today's episode --------------------------------- Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus episodes a week. Also get access to our entire back catalogue including BUTT FEST 2000 with Bryan Quinby; live-reads of My Antifa Lover, Rodham, and Ladies First: A MAGA Hat Romance; movie episodes like Believe, To Die For, and Loqueesha; and hundreds more. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult
Speaking of pandemics sweeping the nation, there is one widespread mania, like a sickness of sorts, gripping the nation, like a sickness of sorts, gripping the nation, going unreported on.
And of course I'm talking about this mania I'm talking about is tipping mania.
I've been hearing about Tipping Mania.
Wow, so you've been listening to the truth-tellers, Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, Matt Taibbi, doing a 50-long tweet thread on Tipping Mania that you won't read about on MSNBC.
Well, I only heard about it because I subscribed to all their bonus content.
Oh, cool.
So I pay them extra money on top of what they already, you know, they're receiving from myself extra money.
I pay them that to see that information.
So, yeah, I did.
How dare you?
How dare you, Tony, compare what they do to simple wait service or what else do you do?
Delivering, delivering packages.
More and more people are tipping their delivery driver.
This is crazy.
Have you heard about this?
Everybody is doing it.
It's the coolest thing now.
Have you heard about this?
Specifically UPS guys and gals.
I think you're supposed to tip them now.
It's weird.
But hey, it is what it is.
It's the world we live in.
I've heard that people are getting canceled for not tipping their UPS guys and gals.
It's crazy out there and we don't support the cancellation, but, you know, the cancelling is a devastating thing.
And, uh, you know, if you have to avoid it, you have to go along and get along and perfectly understand.
Yeah, I get it.
We're not going to judge you either way.
Uh, so this is from the Seattle Times.
I saw this sort of in my, in my local area, uh, the Seattle Times, notoriously shitty newspaper.
Um, I think there's one good guy.
There's at least one good guy in the Seattle Times who's like a pro-union guy.
I don't know if we talked about this.
So one of the one of the old folks homes I deliver to, there's this sweet lady that receives all the packages.
She's very like type A, very meticulous and very like on top of everything.
So I could see how she might be a tough person to work with.
But as far as like if I'm trying to get rid of like 20 packages quickly, like somebody who has a system and knows what's up, it's very beneficial.
But she's also nice.
I also like her.
And she's from a union family.
So we talk about union stuff.
Right.
And like her dad was a union guy and I think she was a nurse for years and now this is kind of like her retirement job.
But she told me about this article, this op-ed in the Seattle Times about the upcoming UPS negotiations, Teamsters UPS negotiations.
And she was like, you know, I really liked this article.
And he was like, you know, really fair.
And I was like, what does that mean?
But She's like, but they talked to a driver, an anonymous driver, who said he was happy with his wages and hoped that we didn't strike.
And I was like, oh, that's weird.
And she was like, yeah.
She's like, yeah, I don't think you should be saying that going into negotiations.
I was like, she's like, if you're the anonymous driver, I think you should probably shut the fuck up.
Uh, she was like, I'm going to send it to you.
And I was like, no, I'll find it.
I was like, I'm going to look for this article tonight.
Yeah.
And I, and I looked it up and the guy was like very, very pro labor.
Whoever wrote this article was very pro labor.
Um, and then yeah, spoke to somebody, some driver who, who said that, who said that, you know, hope didn't strike or whatever.
And then the columnist response was, um, Well, I guess we'll have to see what the underpaid part-time employees think about their wages when the Teamsters consider they're negotiating.
It's like, fuck yeah, man.
You're not the only one.
You're not the only one working.
You got a lot of other people, you know, alongside you to think about.
That's the whole point of being in a union.
Yeah.
Also, like, want more for yourself.
It's OK.
You can want more for yourself, you know?
Also, it's just like, You gotta give the company some guff.
If you're in a union, you can't just be like, no, we're all good here.
No, you gotta make something up.
You gotta be like, oh, we want a new uniform distributor.
These uniforms suck ass.
Well, which they do.
But, you know, something.
Something.
You gotta keep them busy.
You gotta make sure they're earning their paycheck.
And they're not going to, they're not going to respect you if you don't ask for anything.
You know what I mean?
It's like, if you come in there and you're like, no, I'm all good.
They're going to be like, what are you, stupid?
Okay.
All right.
So that means we can, if you're good, that means we can probably get you to be a little uncomfortable then.
Let's see how long it takes you to speak up.
How like, well, if you're saying you're good now, then there's probably some room for whatever.
What's the opposite of improvement?
Yeah.
It sounds good.
It's downgrade some stuff.
Let's see how long it takes you to speak up, which is literally what they would do.
But anyway, so Seattle Times, not all bad, but in general, pretty, as we'll see here, insufferable.
One Seattle business is the headline.
One Seattle business is taking a stand against tipping mania.
Out of control.
So you remember Beatlemania.
This is has nothing on tipping mania.
Yeah.
Wow.
Tipping is bigger than Jesus.
Where we can't, you know, Bibles are being thrown in the street and millions of souls are being damned to hell because people are worshipping tipping instead of Jesus now.
Money people used to spend on Bibles are now going directly to tips.
It's disgusting.
Tipping mania.
What a fucking asshole.
Fuck off, dude.
Yeah.
What are you proposing, shock therapy for people that tip?
Help us do the show for only five bucks a month and you'll get two bonus episodes every week, including a live stream with listeners every Saturday.
