Let's close the door and butt fuck each other - The Ballad of Black Rifle Coffee
Today we go over a former Black Rifle Coffee Company employee's lawsuit against the organization, including allegations of repeated sexual harassment by a boss consumed with dominating his employees--where were the signs?? Also: Business Insider solves the housing crisis by showcasing a cute dumpster for you to live in And finally we cover one of the weirdest anti-trans rumors yet: trans women are using frozen tomato paste to mimic menstruation. We debunk the laughable claim by tracing it to its source. -------------------------------- Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus episodes a week. Also get access to our entire back catalogue including BUTT FEST 2000 with Bryan Quinby; live-reads of My Antifa Lover, Rodham, and Ladies First: A MAGA Hat Romance; movie episodes like Believe, To Die For, and Loqueesha; and hundreds more. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult Music: Circle - Saxo Cass McCombs - Bum Bum Bum Tacocat - Crimson Wave
The liberals are destroying California and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today.
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It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
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And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
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What's up, everybody?
Thank you for tuning into the show.
We have a jam-packed episode this week, so why don't we just dive right in here.
In a shocking turn of events, the founder of a based alpha-gun-themed coffee company is accused of sexually debasing his employees.
Weird.
Didn't see that coming at all.
Yeah, we're talking about Black Rifle Coffee Company, who has had a lawsuit filed against them by a former high up employee who's like their HR manager, helping like develop their medical plan, which we'll get into in this story.
Yeah, who would have thought?
I mean, just, you know, a few guys whose entire sense of humor, identity, sense of masculinity was based on, like, unconsensual domination of the other.
What?
They're doing sex crimes to their employees?
Wait, they're, like, actually doing this?
This isn't just, like, a funny tweet that they're making?
Like, they're doing this in real life?
Uh, wait, he said he wanted to buttfu- he wanted to buttfuck him?
What?
That's not just one of their commercials for the buttfuck blend?
Coffee bag?
For buttfuckers blend?
He like actually said let's buttfuck a bunch?
Um, yeah, I was, I just, I typed in, I was looking for images to use, uh, while, while we're doing this episode and I, I typed in like Black Rifle Coffee Company Epic.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, and I got a photo of their Black Rifle Espresso Mocha Canned Drink, uh, that's being, it's being advertised using an Epic Operator Santa Claus.
Yeah, who I believe is this is the one in charge of assassinating the people on the naughty list, the kids in the naughty list.
Yeah.
And yeah, takes them out.
Naughty kids, Jewish people.
Yeah.
Anybody who's just not bringing the general Christmas cheer.
They're getting silence that night for sure.
Yeah.
Santa suddenly needs night vision goggles.
Actually, it's just because they make him look cool.
They're just they're just with clear lenses.
No, yeah, they're superfluous.
They're actually, they do an augmented reality thing.
It works like shit.
They work terribly.
It's worse than Google Glass even, but they look cool as fuck, so.
Now, I haven't seen all of them, but I would be shocked if a Santa like this didn't wind up in one of the Santa Claus sequels.
Like, does Tim Allen ever go tactical Saint Nick on our asses?
We can only hope that Season 2 of The Clause has happened and we get to see maybe The Sun go through like a phase, a tactical phase.
He's at the age right now where he's kind of got to pick a route.
He's either going to be like, you know, some soy-cuck boy, blue-haired loser, or he's going to be an operator and a real man like this Santa we're looking at.
Well, yeah, he's a literal pajama boy in that first season.
He's just got to play some better games.
Do some games where you get to commit war crimes.
Where you get to commit war crimes and then fight the people who pretend committed those war crimes in the historical retconnecting of America's actions in these video games.
You get to have it both ways.
It's perfect.
It's beautiful.
Yeah, I was gonna play the original Black Rifle Coffee Company commercial for everybody, but I think this is the follow-up.
Just to get a sense of who Black Rifle Coffee Company is, I'm sure you've heard of them, but this is what they're like.
A lot of people call my videos offensive.
By the way, the name of this video is Because America, That's Why.
Oh yeah, and I don't know if you caught what he just said right now, but trigger warning.
He might be offensive right now, so just putting that out there.
Listen to how sassy these guys are, though.
Like, that title of- this isn't titled, like, Black Rifle Coffee Company, up your ass, with a fucking, uh, you know, espresso blend, or whatever.
This- it's called Because America, alright?
Because America, that's why.
Yeah.
Uh, very, very red- like, the infusion of Reddit-style humor and, uh, sass, and with- with, like, the fascistic, Aesthetics and ethos in general of this organization.
Very interesting.
Well, fuck you!
Fires a gun that blows women's clothes off.
People ask us why we have so many guns.
I just tell them, how about over 200 years of freedom, bitch?
I just tell them, how about over 200 years of freedom, bitch?
And then he mounts a large 50 cal to fire it.
It's amazing.
This is super epic.
Super, super epic.
Here at Black Rifle Coffee Company, we have a coffee club, which means you spend less time ordering and more time doing what you love.
No look!
And I actually hit that.
Instead of worrying about microaggressions and what bathroom I'm gonna use, I believe it's important to support the people that actually serve our country.
- Chris Bates! - I'm gonna put it on fire! - Unlike your competitors who just re-bag other people's coffee, we roast oars right here in-house.
- Evan! - Coars. - Fresh Roasted Freedom.
- Okay, so the guy we've been hearing from is a guy named Matt, who's the co-founder of Black Rifle Coffee Company.
He's like the tall, jacked dude with a bunch of tattoos and the weird like theater kid voice, theater kid Reddit kind of voice delivery.
But in this, at this moment in the commercial, They're on site.
They're brewing their coffee.
They're harvesting their coffee in Salt Lake City, Utah.
So, that's why it's so good.
That's why it tastes so good.
And he tosses a hatchet or, you know, a mini axe to the other co-founder of Black Rifle Coffee Company.
A man named, let's see here, what's his name?
Evan Hafer or Evan Haffer.
Yeah.
The man who is now being sued with like gratuitous acts of sexual harassment and also like physical threats against his employees, demands to work unsafely, that sort of thing.
So Matt throws the axe to Evan, the person, the CEO being accused of this, who then takes the axe and drives it into a bag of coffee that's being held by two Evan!
employees.
Yeah, it's pretty they toss that, like they're getting gnarly here.
They're trying to they're being extreme here.
It's pretty cool.
I know this is a podcast and that doesn't work for that, but I'm rock hard right now.
You can't see it, but I am just like, I am fiercely hard right now because of the epicness of this commercial.
I mean, that's like a joke they would make about it.
Yeah, totally.
Fresh roasted freedom.
Yeah.
Like your psycho boss is like, all right, we're going to record a commercial You two are gonna hold this burlap sack close to your body.
I want two hands.
I want each of you to have two hands on this bag.
I'm going to catch an axe and spin around blind and then drive it, I think, in pretty much the center of this burlap bag.
How's that sound, guys?
It is way too close to my man's thumb.
Like, the guy with no hat on will say?
I mean, that's almost a thumb gone.
He's, like, flinching.
He's prepared to, yeah, he's like, well, I probably deserve it.
It's almost like a hatchet's being, you know, thrown at him.
It's almost like that's what's happening.
Yeah, so... So that happened.
I've heard people say patriotism is racism.
Well, as a veteran owned company, we give zero fucks about your opinion.
And on this day, zero fucks were given.
I think.
Who says that?
I mean, you know, patriotism, that's racism.
I mean, yeah, maybe that's true, but I don't think anyone's saying specifically that.
But it's also like, you're convoluting being a vet with being a patriot.
Which, I mean, we all got homies who maybe don't feel that same sentiment.
Yeah, the best vets aren't patriots.
Yeah, exactly.
I fucking love that.
Oh yeah?
Well, as a veteran-owned company, let's just say I have less than zero fucks left to give.
Here is a $200 Ibanez guitar being played through a Line 6 amplifier, and I'm gonna badly play two notes from the Star Spangled Banner.
Hold on, hold on, real quick.
Like he said, they're not racist.
This is the Jimi Hendrix version.
So... You know... Neither of them are playing left-handed, so I do not believe that.
Also, I just realized my man is wearing fucking flip-flops.
He is wearing flip-flops, and his foot is on the amp.
You're acting like he's supposed to give a fuck, Tony!
You're right.
What's the one thing you know about this guy?
Uh, that he's epic?
That he doesn't give a fuck.
He doesn't care.
Not only de-gaff, dill-a-gaff, bitch.
Dill-a-gaff.
Dill-a-gaff.
Yeah, huge losers.
I mean, they make a lot of money, so they got that going for them.
They make so much fucking money.
Jesus Christ.
Like, it's so cool that...
This is how you express being a man is just being a joke being like a joke of masculinity because yeah there's no fucking like real male culture in in america it's all just like consumerism and virtue signaling and like obsession with You know, pop media, you know, who's the most based, or who's like the rock?
Like that's the masculine image, a guy fucking pumped with steroids who's a professional actor.
Have you ever seen The Rock shoot a gun?
It's so cool.
You'll feel like a little baby coward when you see The Rock shoot a gun.
So you just have to do the jokes.
You just have, like, there's no other touchstone for masculinity in this country.
You have to do, I'm going to play a butt rock electric guitar solo and it's going to be the America cause America cause America.
All we know, we, we're, we're millennials.
If we're trying to be conservative, all we know how to do is do team America.
You know, like that's somebody, somebody tweeted out, they were like, um, Is there any lasting cultural impact from Team America, like any of the jokes or any of the quips?
And he was like, I can't really think of many of the bits from the show being quoted and stuff like that.
And I would say it's not so much a specific reference, but just the overall self-aware Over the top, on purpose, quote, embarrassing patriotism.
That's like what the right wing, that's what any of the right wing that's younger than 50 years old has been doing for the last 12 years.
It's still all about it.
It's like winding down a little bit, but like think of every meme you've seen of Trump on a tank.
Ronald Reagan riding a velociraptor, shouldering a missile launcher.
Yeah, just being so sick.
Surrounded by bacon still.
That's still part of it.
Yeah, it's Team America mixed with Reddit.
Like the velociraptor thing, that's like Reddit.
Yeah, and it's the whole thing that kind of sucks because they don't get that.
I mean, at the time, Team America was making fun of them, but they don't care.
That's still just fucking rules.
It's still rules.
Because I think at the end of the day, if I'm doing some I'm racking my rounds by throwing it up in the air and catching it and doing a no look shot and like doing epic one shots, you know, epic trick shots.
You have to laugh at me because I'm going to win anyways.
Do you know what I mean?
I guess.
It's like you could do those trick shots.
That seems like enough.
I don't think you have to do everything else.
Have a coffee company?
I think it's also overcompensating.
Reacting to Starbucks, which they think is like the wokest coffee company possible, so they have to... Well, it's only fair.
You know, Starbucks does all those commercials where they sometimes have a black person in them.
Yeah.
I should be allowed to, you know, fire a 50 Cal that rips off a woman's clothing unconsensually.
But no, these guys aren't even reacting to, like, Starbucks.
They're reacting to, like, local coffee roasters.
And they're like, I want to be able to... I want to get my iced Americano on the way to my CrossFit lifting, and I don't want to feel gay about it.
And now I don't have to feel gay about it.
Now I can still get my espresso from my pre-workout and not feel gay about it.
I guess.
I feel like the local... But I would love for someone to also prove that I'm not gay about it.
I feel like your local, back then, your local coffee shop was significantly less gay than Starbucks.
Yeah.
I think maybe it's just because of the correlation, because the one person who we knew who ended up working for Black Hat Rifle Coffee Company, he was very aware of the Augies of the world.
You know?
I think that's probably why I thought that.
And the guys I knew who were adjacent to this stuff, they would come into those shops I would work at.
Yeah, but you go into Augie's and it's like cool people with tattoos.
I don't know.
Just the, what do you call it?
The reputation of Starbucks got away from it because there were those Starbucks employees who kicked a cop out.
They wouldn't let a cop sit in there.
And then that got the right wing incredibly mad.
The red cup instead of the Christmas cup.
All that stuff.
They've been so mad at Starbucks.
Yeah, they stay mad at Starbucks.
It's true.
So, speaking of people who work at coffee companies, let's read from this lawsuit because it's nuts.
Okay, so this is Brandon Roper, who's the plaintiff, filing against both Black Rifle Coffee Company and Evan Hafer, the co-creator, the co-founder, rather, of Black Rifle Coffee Company.
Okay, doo-doo-doo.
I'm gonna get right, I'm gonna zoom right ahead to Section 4, General Allegations.
Okay.
On July 17th, 2016, Mr. Roper started working at Black Rifle Coffee Company.
On July 30th, Mr. Hafer and Mr. Roper competed in a handgun shooting match at Wasatch Wing and Clay Range.
Mr. Roper had taken first place in the competition.
Mr. Hafer was very angry that Mr. Roper had beaten him.
Mr. Hafer expressed his anger to Mr. Roper, and this was when Mr. Hafer began to treat Mr. Roper in an extremely hostile and domineering manner.
Are you sure that's just not like how he always is?
Yeah, this is also days after the hire.
This is days after he begins working there.
This is probably their first ever real interaction and immediately being treated with hostility just because you did well.
Yeah, I just think maybe you should have looked at what company you were applying to.
Yeah.
Like, oh, psychosexual domination is going to play a role in my employment here?
Are you sure about that?
Really?
Black rifle coffee killing?
I don't know about that.
13.
Mr. Hafer felt like his reputation as an excellent shooter among the military special forces...
There we go.
Sorry.
No, it's all good.
Mr. Hafer felt like his reputation as an excellent shooter among the military special forces community was threatened by Mr. Roper when the other military competitors heard the results.
Oh no, they're not going to respect me as CEO of this coffee company as much anymore.
Because one of my fledglings beat me.
One of my subordinates beat me.
I should be the best out there.
I mean, to me, that just sounds like he learned a lot from you that day on the range.
Yeah, exactly.
I bet he played it that way, too.
He's like, oh, this is weird.
I've never done this.
Thanks for that tip.
I've never been this good before.
This is amazing.
Thanks for... I appreciate that.
Wow, finally, the student has surpassed the master.
It's like day one.
Yeah.
OK, 14.
Early in August 2016, Mr. Roper was forced to strip down to his underwear and participate in a, quote, marketing video where his image was digitally altered to look like he was naked.
Mr. Roper was not given any opportunity to refuse to participate in this video, and he felt like if he refused to participate, he would have lost his job.
And why?
Why would you want to lose this gig, man?
You know?
And remember his role here is he works with the health insurance.
That's his job here.
Why would he even be in the commercial let alone being like naked in it?
Let alone being deep fake naked in it.
Like that's a thing that's happening now and he was a victim of this and he didn't even realize it was happening.
I mean he realized it was happening but he didn't know he was going to be naked in it.
That's nuts.
Uh, yeah, it's pretty fucked up.
If your boss ever asks you to get naked, like...
I mean, I guess if you don't mind, you don't mind taking the money for it or whatever.
Seems bad.
Seems pretty bad.
I don't think I would do this, man.
You'd have to really convince me that the bit is really good.
This has to be a really good bit for me to get naked in.
And also, what did it say about the commercial?
It's supposed to look like a hot dog party?
They say hot dog party 15 in the video.
He is asked to pretend to do sit-ups in a room with various other men who are allegedly having a quote hot dog party.
The video was meant to poke fun at homosexuals and Mr. Roper participated in the video against his will.
I don't know about that.
And as a condition of his employment, like you're an adult man, you're like 25 you've like, But still, he probably didn't feel like, you know, maybe it's a good gig.
It's a good gig.
Maybe he did that thing where he, you know, he lied on his resume and isn't really qualified to do it.
So he has to kind of stay there because he can't really go parallel.
You know, but like, I mean, I will say, I will say that usually when I'm in a room full of gay dudes and raw hanging out, someone is going to start doing sit-ups naked in the middle of the room.
So this is not too crazy.
Yeah, it's not that bad of a stereotype.
It's pretty accurate.
I don't think they're called Hot Dog Parties, though.
No, definitely, like, I mean, the joke is Sausage Party, right?
Like, were they trying to tame down sausage?
Was the sausage too horny?
Yeah, Hot Dog Party sounds like the name of a bowling rock song.
Yeah, how exactly?
16.
The video has been seen by thousands of persons on the internet, much to Mr. Roper's embarrassment and humiliation.
Yeah, that's what happens with a company's advertising materials.
Not to get too victim blamey here, I just don't have a lot of sympathy for Mr. Roper in this particular situation, but I am grateful for him filing this lawsuit.
Yes.
17.
On or about August 15, 2016, Evan Hafer called Mr. Roper into his office.
In front of Mr. Roper and several other people in his office, Mr. Hafer stripped down all his clothes and stood in front of Mr. Roper completely naked.
Mr. Hafer acted as if he expected some sort of response out of Mr. Roper.
Instead, Mr. Roper averted his eyes and tried to turn the conversation back to work.
That's wild.
Like, it comes off that at no point he goes, what the fuck are you doing, man?
He just goes, so about those numbers.
You know, the third quarter's coming up.
We need more creamer in the break room.
Sir, if this is your way of motivating me, it's working.
Now just walk back to my office.
I'm on it, sir.
Just maybe use the phone next time.
Yeah.
You could have FaceTimed me this.
But they're not even the only ones in the room at this point.
Yeah.
There's other people in the room, too.
What is the deal with this place?
This is supposed to be a real business.
You can't just get naked in your office when other people are in it.
Yeah, this is like that.
This is the sense of humor.
This is like how you joke around in the office as you call your subordinate in there and just get naked in front of them like that's What's up with this guy?
He didn't even he didn't even fucking laugh.
Well, it's like you took it.
Maybe it's not even that.
It's like you you you watch Wolf of Wall Street or something, and you think that's how you have to run your coffee company.
In Wolf of Wall Street, they brought in sex workers and cocaine.
Leonardo DiCaprio didn't call in Jonah Hill into his office and just get naked and stand awkwardly in front of him.
That's insane.
These people suck so bad.
They're just insane and have also zero imagination.
That's just so alpha though, just getting naked.
Just getting naked is alpha.
Yeah, I believe that's like in the back of his head.
That's probably what he was telling himself to.
Several days later, Mr. Roper and Mr. Hafer were working alone in a conference room when Mr. Hafer turned to Mr. Roper and said, quote, Why don't we close that door and buttfuck the shit out of each other?
Mr. Roper rejected the sexual proposition and the meeting continued in awkward tension.
That's so wild.
Like, you know, I This is the thing where it's kind of a bummer because it's like, is he joking?
Um, does he mean it?
Does he, is it something he actually desires in his life?
Is he able to get that?
I don't.
Okay.
So I don't normally like the whole, every homophobe is just a closet gay person.
That's the most like charitable explanation for any of this, because I mean, it's, it just like, doesn't make sense otherwise.
Hey, why don't we buttfuck each other, huh?
Right?
It's not a joke, certainly, but whether he's serious about it, that's another question.
What's funny though is that he just went straight for... I guess, honestly, I guess buttfucking each other is less gay than like, you know, giving each other some blowies or handjobs.
Because I mean, that's wild to go straight to buttfucking with, you know, but I think that is, I think buttfucking is less gay.
Well, I think it's nice that he said, but fuck each other.
He didn't just say, I'm going to but fuck you.
He said, no, it's going to be a give and take.
Just like any healthy boss employee relationship.
Yeah, exactly.
Balance.
So wild.
And then they continued, that was the beginning of the meeting.
That's how he opened.
See, this is what we're missing out when we do work from home, everybody.
This is just, wow, such good propaganda for the office real estate business.
No, but when I say butt fuck the shit out of each other, I mean that bouncing numbers off of each other, like figuring out, you know, going over the charts.
That's what I mean by that.
19.
After Mr. Roper had rejected Mr. Hafer's advances and failed to comment upon Mr. Hafer's nude body, Mr. Hafer became openly hostile to Mr. Roper.
20.
By approximately early September 2016, Mr. Hafer started calling Mr. Roper, quote, Mountain Jew, as a derogatory term because he was one of the few Latter-day Saints in the office.
I've never heard this, uh, slur for Mormons, a mountain Jew.
Well, we don't, we don't live in Salt Lake.
This is all happening in Salt Lake.
So I'm sure that's a local colloquialism.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't live around any Mormons.
I, I, I guess in, in a, in a big number.
Yeah.
I wasn't, I wasn't aware of the, it seems more, most insulting to Jewish people.
Yeah.
And I also feel like it's something they might've just made up in the office because like, It was probably really edgy to call someone that, you know?
Yeah, it does sound like a fucking Reddit slur.
It does sound like an epic, intentionally offensive slur.
Yeah, I guess because he's weird?
Because he's still Mormon I guess and that's weird?
Yeah, that's what I meant.
Why is he even working at the coffee shop, right?
Right.
I don't care if you're not drinking it, you're like profiting from it.
You know, it's a sin.
He's probably like, hey!
Hey Roper, show me your magic underwear, bro.
Let's buttfuck each other.
Let me see the sheet you fucked through.
What do you use?
What is that?
Hey, what's the soaking about?
What's the soaking thing about?
I got a third guy who can jump real good.
Jump on the bed right next to us.
CrossFit champion, actually.
We got a bunk bed.
We got a bunk bed and we sit on the bunk bed and he does muscle ups on the bunk bed.
And it really shakes the bunk bed.
It's a whole different experience.
It's fucking sick because when he gets up there, he looks down at us.
Makes direct eye contact.
It's awesome.
Mr. Hafer started being very mean and hateful towards Mr. Roper in front of other employees.
Again, it might be just be the guy.
It's not an excuse, but it might be just who he is.
On October 21st, 2016 at 830 a.m., Mr. Roper participated in a three way call with chief operating officer Rod Rudd himself and Mr.
Rod Rudd?
Oh my, you, Paul should, Paul should name his, if you ever, if Paul Rudd ever has a son, he should name him Rod.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Can we get a real person to be the third person in this call?
Can we get an actual person with a real name, please?
Thank you.
It's just, yeah, it's the inanimate carbon Rob Rod from the cover of Time Magazine.
Okay, in this call, Mr. Roper told Mr. Rudd and Mr. Hafer that he was concerned with the way he was being treated and that he demanded that he be treated more professionally and respectfully.
So it took him from, what, July to October to finally be like, hey, guys, come on.
He saw this dude's wiener like three times.
Mr. Hafer became very angry and said, Roger that to Mr. Roper and warned him that if he said one more word that he would be terminated on the spot.
Again, I would let him fire me.
I would probably let them fire me.
It's a huge lawsuit at the time.
Yeah, you know.
Just by itself, without all the wieners and the advances.
Well, no with with that stuff, you know, they fire you that's like Ron you were fucking reporting harassment You were trying to report harassment sexual harassment actually and I understand it's like embarrassing For men in general to admit to sexual harassment, but I think it's maybe more embarrassing for the guy doing all this shit Seems pretty fucking wild Cringe seems pretty unsettling.
Yeah Okay Mr. Roper saw an increase in Mr. Hafer's hostility toward him from that day forward.
In early November, Mr. Roper was tasked with developing the HR department at BRCC.
So this is like when he gets the big job.
In his role as HR manager, Mr. Roper spoke with many new employees who complained about being victims of sexual harassment and complained that Mr. Hafer and others in middle and upper management were using a military-style management model, which was replete with sexual harassment and racism.
And they're like, yeah, we told you that.
You're working at Black Rifle Coffee Company.
That's what the fuck we do.
Duh.
Yeah.
Why do you think we put you in charge of HR?
Yeah.
You're supposed to be managing these people.
You're supposed to be telling them what happens here.
That's yeah, that's the thing to it.
Like this guy's HR, you know, I mean, not much sympathy for HR typically, but it's like, who are you going to complain to?
Well, it's very funny on or about the middle of November 2016, Mr. Roper reported to Mr. Rudd and Mr. Hafer that the company was at risk because of the work environment.
Mr.
Mr. Rudd agreed with Mr. Roper, but rather than change his behavior, Mr. Hafer asked Mr. Roper, as human resource director, The contact BRCC's attorney to have her draft an employee contract.
Okay, so it's a typo.
As human resource director to contact Black Rifle Coffee Company's attorney to have her draft an employee contract that quote, allows me to do whatever the fuck I want to an employee without being sued.
Amazing.
Give me one of those good contracts where they can't sue me no matter what I do.
Can you actually put those words in it verbatim?
I can do whatever the fuck I want and you can't sue me?
I guess you just don't think the rules apply to you.
That's kind of the whole thing.
There are no rules.
That's my freedom.
My freedom is to run my company the way I want to.
You could quit too.
You could always quit.
People at the top don't have to follow the rules.
It's the exception when you actually have to follow a rule or two as the CEO.
I don't know how successful they were in 2016.
Probably a lot.
I'm sure they got a lot of money for this.
Give our employees, have our employees sign the same contract that civilians in Iraq signed before we went over there.
Yeah.
Because I remember that being, all that stuff was fine.
Do whatever, I'll give you my contact at the military.
Have them get into contact with their lawyers.
They'll figure it out.
It'll be fine.
Just so you know me, they know I'm a great shot.
They know I'm a really good shot.
So like they're going to help us out because they know I'm really good at shooting guns.
Yeah, listen, we did way worse shit to Iraq to people and Iraq kids.
And like, never got a lawsuit.
Not a single lawsuit.
So, you better, I don't know, hit the books again.
Listen, I personally, the way I run my business, I think you should never go over a six person human period.
I think anything pyramid.
I think once it's over a six person human pyramid, then you have to at least put clothes on them.
That's just how I ride.
I wouldn't do like they did.
That's fucked up.
You go over six people and then OSHA gets involved.
It's real fucking stupid.
Scaffolding.
You need scaffolding now.
What else here?
Oh, yeah.
Evan Hafer, this guy, also former CIA.
Tight.
Cool.
Yeah.
I was browsing through an interview he did.
And he was talking about, like, briefly just mentioning and passing, you know, working in the CIA in Afghanistan.
And then at the end, they were like, OK, well, what what charities do you want people to donate to to help, you know, military veterans?
He's all, well, those interested in helping CIA veterans could donate to this.
Just like gave gave out the wounded CIA.
You know, probably all goes to Havana syndrome or whatever.
That's amazing.
But yeah, it's very funny that, like, A former CIA guy running this epic, based, right-wing, gun-humping, military-humping organization Is like, you know, one of the biggest coffee companies in the fucking world.
And we still have to listen to people say with like a straight face about how the right wing is anti-CIA and anti-militarism and anti-interventionism and all this shit.
It's like, this is your whole personality.
What would you guys have without this?
Yeah, you don't want to let this one go, I promise.
Like, your whole ethos about bad men doing bad things to keep the world safe, like, that's what the CIA thinks of themselves, bro?
Like, I don't know what to tell you.
Yeah, give me one of those contracts.
Get out of jail free card.
Yeah, please.
Mr. Roper contacted Black Rifle Coffee Company's attorney with Mr. Hafer's request, and the attorney said that this was not possible.
Still, Mr. Hafer continued to harass Mr. Roper and others at the workplace.
Black Rifle Coffee Company did nothing to stop him.
In December 2016, Black Rifle Coffee Company announced to its employees at the company Christmas party that it was going to provide the employees with a quote, platinum medical plan.
Mr. Roper was the HR director as well as an insurance agent and made arrangements to put this plan in place.
This is where it gets really funny.
At or about the end of December 2016, Mr. Hafer gave out year-end bonuses in the form of a custom-built Glock 43 handgun to each employee in the management team, except Mr. Roper.
So fucked.
Mr. Roper expressed his concern to Mr. Rudd about not getting a year-end bonus.
Mr. Rudd told Mr. Roper that he had not received a gun because he had complained about Mr. Hafer's actions earlier in the year, and Mr. Hafer saw Mr. Roper as, quote, too emotional.
Listen, I think that's really, I think that's great.
I think it's nice that they consider that maybe this guy is too emotional to have a gun.
The guy who beat me in a shooting contest five days after meeting him, that guy is too emotional to handle a weapon.
Yeah.
So we were doing it for his own good, honestly.
I love being called too emotional by the boss who strips down in front of you and stares at you.
But hey, to be fair, his hand was steady the entire time.
The whole time.
I know that because he pointed it out to me.
He actually held it up and said, look at how steady my hand is.
It was really weird.
Later, Mr. Hafer confronted Mr. Roper about the gun issue and told Mr. Roper that he had intended to give Mr. Roper a gun, but because, quote, he had cried like a pussy to Mr. Rudd about not getting a gun, that he would not receive one.
While Mr. Roper did receive a financial year-end bonus because of his tenure and excellent performance, he did not receive the additional custom Glock 43 handgun bonus because he had complained about Mr. Hafer's harassment of him.
I'm sorry, the guns were for team players.
That's who the guns were for.
So this is like what their first year, their first Christmas party.
He's giving out a handgun, a custom Glock 40.
That's like a pro.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Specifically, a Glock is an expensive gun.
That's like probably a thousand dollars, probably a thousand dollar gun somewhere around there.
I mean, if it's custom and whatever, and it's also them doing it.
So, of course, it's $1,000.
To each one of your management team, in addition to the year-end bonuses.
Yeah, probably just like flush with dark money.
Yeah.
Oh, absolutely.
It has to be.
The stuff that they sponsor is absurd.
Like they do all the extreme sports stuff.
They do all those like those Hoonigan races and stuff like that.
They do.
They like they have like a plane in one of like the Hoonigan videos.
And it was like sponsored by them and it's like a sheriff's department together.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Better get a gun for Christmas.
In January 2017, further harassment and hostility continued against Mr. Roper.
A large part of the harassment focused on the fact that Mr. Roper had not served in the armed services.
Additionally, there was a focus on the things which other employees had done in the military which Mr. Roper had not done, like have sex with multiple women, engage in anal sex, frequent strip clubs, and other sexual exploits which are viewed as taboo in the Mormon faith.
I don't know, doing sex crimes while in the military also viewed as taboo in half of the circles in America, at least.
You know, they were like, dog, you've never murdered a man.
You've never seen the life leave someone's eyes because you did that.
You've never felt that.
So go do that.
Come back.
Maybe you can get a gun.
Maybe we'll get you a gun for next Christmas.
But you got to kill a man with it.
Uh, on or about January 2017, Scott Bollinger, the executive vice president of Black Rifle Coffee, pressured Mr. Roper into going into a strip club.
First, Mr. Bollinger ridiculed Mr. Roper for never having been to a strip club, and then he paid his entry fee.
See, that's a friend, though.
Make fun of you, but then he's got your back with a ticket as he shoves you into a place you don't want to go.
I bet these guys are the worst to have at the club.
Oh my God, they are probably awful to have at the club.
And you know these dudes don't spend money.
Yeah, I mean, I don't really want to go to a strip club in general, but like these guys probably the last people I'd go.
I would want to go with.
Yeah, there are probably no thank you.
Yeah, there would be.
It would just be like speaking in code to each other the whole time.
What do you think we should do?
Maybe a Delta Minor 7 on this one over here?
Yeah.
First, Mr. Roper ultimately went to the strip club with his coworkers because he felt like he could not say no, and if he did, that his job would be in jeopardy.
Again, you don't want to lose this one.
No.
While at the strip club, Mr. Bollinger was not satisfied with Mr. Roper simply being in the club, but insisted on paying to have for him to have a private dance.
Mr. Roper was humiliated and embarrassed, but did not want to be seen as more of an outsider than he was and endured the events.
You should want you should want to be seen as an outsider to these guys.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
You should make it really clear that you don't fit in and that you actually have a totally separate job and you're actually just HR.
You don't really have much to do with the company.
You know, you kind of you want to separate yourself from these people.
I love I still love that they made him H.R.
He's like, listen, you spoke up when I stripped down butt ass naked in front of you.
And that takes guts.
But I also like him coming to to them as H.R.
and being like, wow, it's a really bad environment here.
Like the employees are you're like endangering the whole company by doing this.
Like the one instance of an HR manager actually being on the side of the employees.
It's just not effective at all.
Yeah.
I mean, because he's not really on the side of employees on the side of himself keeping this job for whatever reason.
Rather than help him fit in more, the strip club outing became a source of yet more sexual harassment.
No shit, dawg.
No way.
Mr. Evans made the comment to him that the strip club was the first time Mr. Roper has probably ever seen a vagina up close.
Mr. Roper is divorced with five children.
So there.
That's so fun.
Like, that's the best part about this stuff is like...
It doesn't matter what your life is.
You're still a little gay virgin who's never seen a vagina.
Even though you have five kids.
Listen, I've seen a vagina.
Not anymore.
I'm not allowed to see that one anymore.
But of course I've seen one.
Yeah.
It was similar to this one actually.
Listen, you think I haven't seen a vagina?
I've given up more vagina than you, probably, one.
In February 2017, Matt Best, so this is the other co-founder, the guy who's in all the ads, the commercials.
In February 2017, Matt Best, another owner of BRCC, openly teased Mr. Roper because he had never had anal sex with a woman.
This took place in the workplace in front of other employees and it horrified and embarrassed Mr. Roper horribly.
Again, like, should not ever have to say whether or not you've had anal sex at work.
You shouldn't have to say that during a house party adult card game if you don't want to.
You know what I mean?
You should never have to say whether you've had anal sex or not.
You know what sex is?
You know the dude was like, hey you ever had anal sex?
And he was like, man, I don't I don't know, man, leave me alone.
He's like, I fucking knew you didn't.
I knew you've never had it.
Nobody who's had anal sex would react that way.
Yeah, I know you've never had anal sex because my my boy said he wanted to butt fuck you and you wanted to butt fuck.
And you said no.
So I knew you weren't down, bro.
Yeah, you act like it was you've never done.
Oh, it's gross.
Weird.
Yeah, we can tell it's on it's on your face.
I'm just trying to get your lunch order, man.
Like, can we what's going on?
Can we just move past this?
During this time, Mr. Roper started to withdraw from his family.
He started feeling depressed and easily angered at home.
The stress of being constantly ridiculed at work for his perceived lack of sexual experience and being repeatedly called a mountain Jew was taking its toll on Mr. Roper.
This goes on a little bit.
All this stuff is really funny, but we're running long on this segment.
He basically gets bought out of the company by getting to keep the commission on the private health insurance that every employee signs up for.
The severance package provided that Mr. Roper could continue to receive the commissions from the sale of health insurance to BRCC employees.
Even as the company grew, this was a very valuable concession given that Mr. Roper was receiving commissions from the placement of health insurance totaling approximately $32,000 per year for 2017 and $35,000 per year in 2018.
Given that the company was expected to continue to grow and these commissions were promised in perpetuity, the consideration for this severance was valued at approximately $720,000.
What a great healthcare system we have here, folks.
If we let the state control it, there would be way too much waste, and this one guy wouldn't get $720,000 for putting up with buttfuck jokes.
When I read that, I was confused by it.
Only because it's just like, man, that's the answer.
This whole thing's fucked.
This whole system's fucked.
For this to be a way to problem solve this is fucking wild.
And it's not.
It's just certain people get to wet their beaks in it so they don't want to change it.
It's an obvious case of material interest, you know?
Yeah.
OK.
I think I think that's it.
I just I it's like, of course, this is happening.
I'm looking.
Of course, this happened at this coffee company.
You know, I'm looking at one of their ads, which is a man forcing another man's head onto a table, like holding him down while the man bares his teeth and grimaces.
And there's a black rifle coffee company mug in the foreground.
That's it.
He's forcing a man's head down.
Get it?
In front of their logo.
Yeah, just one man assaulting another man in front of their coffee cup.
Yeah, and the coffee spilled.
It's just the whole thing.
How do you pick who gets to be who?
If we were to make this commercial, I don't know if I'd be comfortable with my head on the desk.
I don't know if you'd be comfortable with your head on the desk, you know?
Yeah.
Do they flip a coin?
How do they arrange that?
Well, it seems kind of like a non-starter for us, for me and you, Tony.
But for this guy, I think this is Matt, whose head is being smashed up against the table.
Matt already got to be, like, the cool guy.
That's true.
People know that Matt's not gay because he fired a gun that blew women's clothes off.
Yeah.
And all the men's clothes stayed on.
Right.
So, clearly not gay.
He's like the Kiswatz Haderach, but for date rape.
Like, pitch his voice.
He's like a Bene Gesserit, but for sex crime.
Pitch his voice that only assaults women.
That's it.
Yeah, everyone else is safe.
Don't worry.
Don't worry, bro.
Yeah, so he can afford to be, like, self-deprecating in this.
I think that's how it works.
Otherwise, you gotta go by, like, you know, A-list action star rules, where it's like, well, for every time I get hit by somebody, I get to hit them back.
Oh, yeah.
So it'll always be an even number of, you know, domination.
Or just before you go to the shoot, you have a shoot off.
You go to the gun range, you have a shoot-off, and he's the better shooter.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know if you want, like, the real world to factor into how you're actually treated, like your actual traits and positives and abilities.
I don't know if you want that factored in to how people perceive you.
Yeah, I don't want anyone just being nice to me because they know that the military respects me as a good shot.
I want them to be nice to me just because.
That too.
I would never dream of capitalizing on my military history in order to bolster my reputation or the company that I own.
Yeah.
I just can't believe how authentically corny it is.
They really do mean all this corny shit.
That's what's wild.
It was bad.
It was embarrassing at the time.
Hindsight makes it look so much worse.
It ages so, so poorly.
You know, we've talked a lot about struggles with finding housing, you know, the homelessness crisis, how expensive rent is, how nasty these landlords can be.
What if there were a simple solution for all of that?
Hmm.
It's called... I haven't considered.
Living in a dumpster.
This is brought to us by businessinsider.com.
Uh, this was a, uh, it was sent to me by Jordan in the Minion Death Commandos Facebook group.
So thank you, Jordan.
This business insider article is called, uh, the, the headline, an artist struggling to pay rent turned a dumpster into a tiny home for $4,800.
for $4,800. - Wow.
Wow.
There we go.
There's a solution.
Right up.
$4,800 in dumpsters.
I really feel like a lot of modern reporting and a lot of clickbait is just knowing how to tell a joke.
Is just like knowing how to pack the funniest things into the shortest sentence.
Breitbart does it pretty well.
Insider.
An artist struggling to pay rent, already kind of a joke to a lot of people, turned a dumpster into a tiny home.
Very funny.
Funny for a couple reasons.
For $4,800.
That's the punchline.
It's beautiful.
This is like an insane article.
The beat is crazy.
The beat of that joke is amazing.
It's perfect.
Everyone's mad at this.
This makes no one happy.
This makes nobody happy.
Yeah, it is.
It's like trying to hit a three-quadrant demographic in your audience score, but for people who get mad online.
Yeah.
And you nailed it, you know?
I mean, they're already an artist, so they're, you know, already fuck them.
Whatever else they're doing is probably really stupid and I probably hate it too.
So this is in London and dumpsters are referred to as skips over there.
They call them skip a skip.
And what is so much cuter than dumpster?
It's cute, but I don't know if would you want it to be called cute because then your kids are going to go play in them.
You know, it's true.
Also, do you do you refer to do you refer to like butts as skips now?
Refer to what?
To butts as skips.
Oh, oh.
You know, because I like a dumpster, you know?
No, they call it a boot.
They call a butt a boot because that's what you call a trunk in Britain.
Oh, OK.
All right.
They got some scoot in the boot.
Got some loot in the boot.
Some loot in the boot.
There we go.
This thing, it looks it doesn't look like a dumpster.
It doesn't look like a dumpster that I'm familiar with.
It looks like one of those open laundry baskets or like if you've ever sorted mail, like looks like one of the giant plastic bins that you would throw small packages into and wheel around a warehouse.
It looks like something you would buy at Uline.
Uh, except it's, it's metal and he's built like a top half for it with cedar shake siding on it.
Um, it looks like a hobbit house.
It's like round.
Um, it's got a cute, cute window that opens up.
Um, and we'll take a look inside as we go through this article, but, um, yeah.
Okay.
Just the headline alone.
I mean, taking five grand, it's like, I don't know that I'm having trouble trying to decide why this article was written other than just to like make people mad.
I don't even know if it's suggesting like, hey, you could live in a dumpster if you can't afford rent.
I don't even know if it's if it has like enough going on to suggest that.
Well, I mean, just tiny homes alone are enough clickbait, you know, tiny people love tiny homes.
It's true.
Yeah, a couple people in these comments were like, oh, it's cute.
Which I mean, I guess, but like, yeah, where do you where do you park the dumpster?
Where do you get five grand to pay for the work?
Who do you get to do the work for you?
Because he's an architect.
Harrison Marshall converted the dumpster into a tiny home and moved in last month.
The artist came up with the idea after struggling to find a home he could afford to rent in London.
The project cost $4,800 and has a mezzanine bed, which is like a loft bed, sink and kitchen area, but no bathroom.
Reminds me of some New York apartments.
I guess it's like it's a choice he made as an artist, but I hate that the dumpster, like it said, it has like the siding and everything and the quirky, cute window and yada, yada, yada, but just left the dumpster part dumpster painted.
And that's just an interesting move.
I don't know.
At that point, you're just trying to do an art thing now.
That's what makes me think you're not being very serious.
You're making a little art statement with your little arty arts.
It is an arty art statement.
This was actually commissioned by a program that is trying to raise awareness of dumpsters or something like that.
Let me read through here.
When Harrison Marshall, an architect and artist, started looking for a new home to rent in London last summer, he was struck by the quote, crazy prices.
Quote, I was trying to find somewhere that would fit my budget and criteria, but I found somewhere.
If I found somewhere, there'd be a hundred other people also looking for the same spot and it'd be gone in five minutes, he told Insider.
So it made me start thinking, there's got to be another way for me to do this.
So yeah, fuck, fuck you dude.
If you're trying to pretend that this is an actual solution, that's, that's why this is such a joke.
Because it's like, oh, you can't afford a house.
Go sleep in the dumpster to make it habitable.
You're going to need you're going to need five thousand dollars and it's still not going to be very habitable.
Yeah.
So he made so it made me start thinking that there's got to be another way for me to do this.
Yeah.
Building a fucking house like a house out of a dumpster is like.
It is like Troy McClure's trying to squeeze an orange on his face, on his eye.
I mean, there's gotta be a better way to do it.
You picked the worst thing to do, man.
Can you believe they've been putting trash in these things the whole time?
I got a bed over here and a little kitchen, and they've been putting trash in here the whole time?
What a waste.
The answer's been under our nose the whole time.
The 28-year-old came up with the idea of converting a dumpster, which are called skips, in Britain into a tiny home.
They are a common sight outside renovation projects, for example, and can be easily moved to another location if desired.
How?
How can you move these things?
Like if you have a bin truck, if you have a skip truck, you can do that?
It also gave quite a good juxtaposition between what you don't typically think of as a house and almost the polar opposite of that, which is a bin or dumpster and how actually that could be turned into something which is relatively cozy and homely.
He said, shut the fuck up, man.
Like later in this article, he he brings up the crisis of homelessness again and how expensive housing is.
That should be your focus.
Don't pretend like you're doing a life hack, man.
Yeah.
What is like the structural benefit of using a dumpster?
I guess that you have like four foot of the each wall covered.
You're off the ground, maybe a little bit.
Maybe.
I don't see this being like a like a.
Is he like in this picture?
Is he really standing next to it or is it like superimposed?
Is the house bigger or smaller?
I think that's him.
Because there's photos later, he's inside of it right here.
Okay, okay, yeah.
He's got, like, standing room and, like, some walking room, but it's so small.
He can, like, walk long ways, like five feet.
Cool.
Uh...
His dwelling is in Birdmonsdie in Southeast London, a short distance from Tower Bridge.
Yeah, where it is, is on property owned by the artist organization that set up this stunt.
He set up an organization called Kauken Studio with some friends he met studying architecture at university.
They built schools, health centers, community halls, and playgrounds, and so he applied that expertise to the construction and design process.
The tiny dumpster home was inspired by another Kalkin Studio project, an art installation in a skip.
It was in collaboration with a company called Skip Gallery, which commissioned artists to create artwork in the confines of a skip.
Okay, so I think I misunderstood.
Okay, yeah.
It still sucks, but yeah.
It was originally inspired by Skip Gallery, who wanted to create actual art inside of a Skip.
He took that and he's like, what if it was a home, though?
That was his contribution.
This is why I like his art.
Marshall built the tiny home in a few months, mostly in his spare time in the evenings.
He started living in the tiny home last month.
I had help from a bunch of my friends that are involved in caulking on days they could spare, which was great, he said.
He's had to use several quilts to keep warm at nights, as until this week it's not had electricity, meaning there was no heat.
I picked the worst time of year to build it as it was in December through a cold spell and the snow and the worst time of year to move into it.
Yeah, a metal box in freezing temperatures.
Sounds great, dude.
I do like that he did kind of get a little bit of a hint of what it might feel like to be a little bit houseless.
Just because he's like, was really, you know, impaired by the weather.
It's like, good fucker.
This isn't a joke.
Well, the crazy thing is he did work to build low income housing.
They built schools, health centers, community halls, and playgrounds.
So I guess, maybe not low-income housing, but they did good stuff, you know?
Yeah.
A man.
Insane.
He's got Silicon Valley brain.
Or he's got TED Talk brain or something.
Totally.
Once I'm in bed, it's not too bad.
The structure is insulated well, but getting out in the morning and sticking my leg outside of the covers is something I dread each morning, he added.
The tiny home has a mezzanine bed, sink, and a kitchen area where he makes sandwiches.
There's also a small water tank, which he refills from a hose belonging to the neighbor's property so he can wash dishes and brush his teeth.
There's no flushing toilet, however.
Uh, the materials, including all fixtures, cost about $4,800.
Uh, his main outgoing cost is $60 a month to rent the dumpster.
So you still even have to, like, pay rent to the dumpster company, although it's only $60.
Marshall Plain.
That's funny.
Yeah.
I like that it's not stolen.
It should be stolen.
Marshall plans to live in the tiny dumpster home for a year but is open to staying for longer.
He wants to move it outside an art gallery or exhibition space as he thinks it could bring a different way of talking about the projects as well.
High rent prices is an issue which is affecting millions of people, Marshall said.
He added, the goal is to spark more creative thinking about it, get people talking about the different ways people are living now and how more thought could be put into social housing.
So this is like, this guy's like a, he's like a bad artist.
Like, I feel like maybe he's got good intentions.
If the goal was to spark like more creative thinking about homelessness or the high cost of housing or whatever, Don't do a cute solution that's not really a solution.
Like, if you should be portraying the reality of people who have to live with this, not present a cute little fairy tale home in a dumpster.
Be like, oh, let's just spark conversation about possible solutions, like making people live in a garbage can, for instance.
No, I think it accomplishes exactly what they want because people see it and they immediately go, well, not that.
That's not a solution.
We're not going to do that.
But I'm going to, you know, I'm going to call, I got to call a little bit of bullshit on it because like, yeah, this, this dude is really just doing this because it's like, Would, you know, would you live in a tiny home for clout?
And he's saying yes.
That's what he's doing right now.
He's trying to get a little like art, little, you know, entrepreneur, little environmentalists, like, like all fake ass, you know, like, but he's doing it, getting that clout.
Only put in front of art gallery.
You really get people thinking about what my name is.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Just a couple.
That's it for the story.
It's just a perfect one to piss off everybody, including I didn't see this one coming.
Keith on Facebook on the insider comment section says the definition of quote dot dot dot what is a home dot dot dot certainly has changed as with gender pronouns.
Are you saying there's a correlation between the two?
He's saying that the dumpster identifies as a home.
Oh, I hate you.
I mean, I knew that's what they were saying, but that's all.
That's all.
That's all there is to it.
And he's maybe trying to pretend like he thinks there's a correlation to it.
But it's just it's just a gender joke.
Just a pronoun pronouns joke.
And it's like, yeah, dude, actually, you're kind of right.
Like, yes, you know, our relationship with pronouns has changed, as has, you know, the the the what we consider a home now and the way we treat housing.
That's also changed.
Not any similar way at all.
Just they've both just changed drastically.
Yeah.
For the better.
Both of them.
Yeah, exactly.
And then, yeah, I was gonna censor their name, but it's... I thought it was Bianca, but it's spelled like it's a bisexual named Anka.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So, Bi Anka says, live in the dumpsters, live in the pods, eat the bugs, stop driving cars, own nothing, be happy, and so on.
So, this is a World Economic Forum, guys.
They did this article, and it's like...
I get the people who stand to benefit from expensive housing, yeah, probably did enjoy this article.
Probably did think, oh, what a great solution for people who can't afford housing.
You know, yeah.
And they're called fucking capitalists.
They're called property owners, man.
Like, pretending it's a German guy on the other side of the world who did this shit.
But at least people see the tiny dumpster home and realize there's a problem with housing.
There was a fair mix of people who were like, well, he needs to get a job.
If he doesn't want to live in a dumpster, he needs to get a job.
Man, that's just how it works.
Being an artist isn't for everybody, okay?
And then a good chunk of people were like, wow, this is a late stage capitalism.
This is a feel good.
A dystopian story repackaged as a feel good news item.
But then there were a few like, you know, anti W.E.F.
I will not eat Z bugs people in here.
And I just yeah, the best you could say is it like at least there they recognize there's a.
If not systemic, then there's like a widespread problem.
The problem is widespread.
Yeah.
So, sure.
I love how Bianca's like, I'm not doing that.
I'm not going to do that.
You're not going to make me live in a dumpster as if that was something that was going to happen.
Maybe.
Maybe Bianca could lose their fucking job and be homeless.
Yeah, exactly.
Then you'll then you'll fucking be like ecstatic to have a pod to sleep in.
Yeah.
Not that that should be the goal, of course.
But yeah, I'm picturing like a meme of Klaus Schwab doing graffiti on the side of a dumpster.
But what he's tagging, it says, my pronouns are home slash sweet slash home.
Oh.
Last story.
Last story I wanted to talk about.
I think we got time for it.
It's a wild one.
On this show, sometimes we have the pleasure of bringing you fair listeners the stupidest shit I've ever heard in my life.
And this is one of those occasions.
Let's see.
This was sent to me on Instagram by Extreme Cyber Idiot.
So thank you for that.
I think we're about to hear from a different cyber idiot, though.
This is from... Yeah, Instagram.
This is AlexandraLivesFree on Instagram.
This post, it's a reel, it's a video.
It has 15,000 likes, 2.5 thousand comments.
And let's go ahead and listen to it.
This is a white woman with glasses, kind of like cat-eye glasses, Gen X-er, staring very closely into her front-facing camera.
I'm stressed.
So have you guys heard the mentally ill men that think they're women are now inserting frozen tomato paste up their butts to mimic a period?
I did hear this.
I just heard this, actually.
Yeah.
That's actually why I was Googling how to get rid of tomato paste stains.
I have, uh, I have friends who work at a, at a certain coffee company.
I won't say which, who also have heard of this totally real story.
In fact, they tried it.
They all tried it just to make fun, just to make fun of the real people who do this for real.
Uh, so, wind that back just so everybody can hear it.
Are now inserting frozen tomato paste up their butts.
Yeah.
To mimic a period.
Get me out of here.
She says, get me out of here.
I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
I've heard it.
I've heard it all.
Yeah.
It's too far.
It's too far.
The best part is that they workshopped it because they were like, they're putting tomato paste up their butts to mimic periods.
Well, how'd they get up there?
Well, they froze it.
It's got to be frozen.
Well, they froze it.
Yeah.
And then they put it up there.
It makes a lot of sense, Tony.
I'll be honest with you.
What shape is the mold for this freezing?
How are they freezing the paste?
I don't understand.
Okay, well let me pull up some screenshots for you, Tony.
Here it is.
Trans women, they want to simulate having a period, because they're all crazy, and this is how they interact with gender, that they're putting tomato paste up their butt to simulate a period.
This is like...
This is like Michael Jackson or Marilyn Manson removing a rib to suck his own dick level of like, obviously fake, right?
Just like, you're saying something that you thought of.
And to be fair, there is an origin of this.
So she didn't make it up entirely.
But the reason you remembered this story, the reason you saw this story is because this is what you think about.
Yeah.
Like there aren't, to my knowledge, trans people aren't talking about this stuff.
Trans people aren't doing this stuff.
You're the ones talking about it because you like talking about it.
Yeah.
They're like, you know, cause like butts, they actually think that periods come out of butts.
That's why they're doing it that way.
Yeah, and it's just another way to claim that trans women are misogynistic or are hurting women.
They're making fun of you!
I would never put tomato paste up my butt to make fun of a woman, because I don't think that's funny at all.
But here's me talking about it, making a funny video about it for all my followers.
What if one day I need a pad and it's not there because someone's using it for butt tomato paste?
So this, I followed this back.
I was doing my research and somebody else asked her, Source?
And she said, Oh, search the internet.
It's on the Internet somewhere.
Search the Internet.
I found this tweet that way.
This is how I found this tweet, actually.
I was I was looking for my own self.
I was curious about maybe putting tomato paste in my butt.
And I found your tweet when I searched the Internet.
So I'm asking you your source.
OK, this is an account on Twitter, Ashley St.
Clair.
This is from very end of last year, right before New Year's 2022.
Ashley St.
Clair tweets, mentally ill men claiming to be women are inserting frozen tomato paste into themselves to quote, mimic a period.
I am so sick of pretending like these people are normal.
And she's included screenshots of posts and photographs of little frozen slugs of tomato paste in an ice tray.
Wow.
And I was like, there's an actual source for this?
Are you fucking kidding?
My jaw dropped.
I was like, oh my god, there's like evidence here.
What is this shit?
The photos are from 2003.
Hard to tell when these posts are from, because they just say like 10 months ago, but the photographs are from 2003, so I'm assuming that's when the posts are from as well.
Probably, yeah.
Okay, and I'm gonna read these posts.
So... Trigger warning, it's not that bad, but it's like sexual.
Okay.
Taking my femme cycle to the next level.
Hello, ladies.
Thinking of taking my monthly femme cycle to the next level.
I have regular monthly cycle every 28 days using pads and tampons and was wondering what others do to mimic flow and discharge.
Gross topic for some, I know.
Any advice would be great.
Frozen, and then somebody replies, Frozen V8 popsicles you make with molds for bottled water from Walmart.
Hope this helps.
Another person says, I take several correctal women's laxatives at the start of my period.
This always leads to cramps and you don't know exactly when they will occur.
Sometimes they will wake me up in the middle of the night.
I've also had accidents on my pad when I did not make it to the toilet fast enough to simulate the bloating.
I drink lots of water.
Keeps me heading to the toilet very frequently where I have the opportunity to change my protection.
Sorry, I don't mean to read all of this.
It's just...
Yeah, they are so handy for that.
I used to try tomato juice red Gatorade enemas but found I didn't get the results I was hoping for.
I'm so elated to find other girls that enjoy this very feminine part of our girly lives.
And then somebody replies, I so agree with you.
Experiencing my period is absolutely essential for completing my femininity.
So, alright.
Not an expert.
You know, I don't... I'm not trans.
This sounds like fetish stuff to me.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's one of those things where it's like, everyone's done something.
Yeah.
Something's been done by everybody.
That's what I'm saying.
True.
Yeah, yeah.
You had to go back to 2003.
Yeah.
And also, like, I'm not, you know, I'm cis, I've never heard of this, but I have been on the internet and looked at internet pornography and internet, like, sex forums for a very long time.
Uh, and so I feel like I, I, I'm kind of an expert when it comes to weird fetish people.
Uh, not weird in a bad way, you know, just like, uh, unusual, let's just say.
I've also never had an experience when I've been all like, is that, is that the tomato paste I'm tasting?
Is that tomato paste I'm tasting?
Is that what that is?
I've never had that experience either.
So I, you know, yeah, I think it's, I just, I just love, and I also love that the video was just her reading the tweet verbatim.
Yeah, it was.
What a good man.
What a good content, Mel.
Jesus Christ.
We're working way too hard at this shit.
It's insane.
It's so funny.
And they both, but the freestyle was the way you ended.
It was like, I don't want to be here anymore.
Yeah, well, I think we could do a react to her video, and then we don't even have to say anything.
We just shake our head like Terrence K. Williams.
Yeah.
So, tomato paste up the butt.
You might hear this one in passing, or at Thanksgiving this year, or something.
This is what they're referring to.
A fetish message board in 2003.
in 2003.
And listen, if we're wrong, Pixar didn't happen.
You feel me?
All right, that's the episode, folks.
Thanks so much for listening.
I know, it's such a good place to leave it.
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